Social Exchange Theory: Maximizing Value in Your Relationships

Ajouté : 2026-06-01

[00:00:01]I'm your friend, Dr. Charles Apoki.

[00:00:04]Uh we you're welcome to Word and Wisdom Time um with Ado Eriri.

[00:00:13]>> [laughter] >> Thank you very much, Dr. Charles Apoki.

[00:00:17]Thank you very much, sir. It's always an exciting privilege to sit across you any moment.

[00:00:27]Today on Wisdom with Dr. Charles Apoki, uh I want us to review a social theory.

[00:00:39]>> [snorts] >> A human interaction theory, actually, named or known as the social exchange theory.

[00:00:49]As usual, I would um seek your permission to lay background on the theory and then we ask you some questions and >> [music] >> you teach us on it. Please, I seek for your permission to go ahead, sir.

[00:01:06]>> Permission granted.

[00:01:07]>> Thank you very much, Dr. Charles Apoki.

[00:01:10]The social exchange theory is a human interaction theory between any two persons or probably a person and an organization.

[00:01:20]The social exchange theory is based on the cost and benefit analysis.

[00:01:27]It means that um people look at what you bring to the table and what they put inside the the relationship.

[00:01:38]So, if they are putting investments in energy, time, and resources on you, you should be able to give them results in several outcomes that they desire.

[00:01:54]>> [snorts] >> And um with this background, sir, please, what is your take?

[00:02:03]Give us an analysis and um application of the social exchange theory in our lives as human beings.

[00:02:13]>> Okay.

[00:02:14]The first thing is I'm holding a pear in my hand.

[00:02:18]>> Yes, sir.

[00:02:19]>> The pear will give me fruit.

[00:02:21]>> Yes, sir.

[00:02:22]>> This pear is from a tree.

[00:02:24]>> Yes.

[00:02:25]>> I have planted the tree. I have nourished the tree. I have enabled the tree to produce this fruit.

[00:02:36]>> Yes.

[00:02:37]>> This year is exceptional in the sense that the rains started early and lasted long.

[00:02:45]So, to a large extent, they have been fruitful. I mean, the this tree has been fruitful. This >> Sorry.

[00:02:52]>> Excuse me. This is one of the last ones I am getting from this tree.

[00:02:57]And you picked it as we were planning to record.

[00:03:00]>> Yes, sir.

[00:03:01]>> You were able to go for this tree because of the value it represent it give to you.

[00:03:08]So, when we relate with people, we relate with them based on the values they are able to produce for us.

[00:03:17]>> Okay.

[00:03:18]>> So, in the beginning, when you have a young person, that person um to a large extent has minimal needs, minimal expectations >> Yes, sir.

[00:03:33]>> from life and from you.

[00:03:35]So, but you know what the person needs.

[00:03:39]You know what he needs to produce results for you.

[00:03:42]>> Yes.

[00:03:43]>> You feed him those things to produce results for you.

[00:03:47]At a later stage, you know what that person needs to be useful to society >> Yes. beyond yourself. You put that into the person to be useful to society beyond are you.

[00:04:02]>> Yes.

[00:04:03]>> The the individual.

[00:04:04]>> Yes, sir.

[00:04:04]>> So, I am relating with you now to to provide results for me >> Yes, sir.

[00:04:10]>> at the same time, I'm giving you what will make you useful to society.

[00:04:17]>> Yes, sir.

[00:04:17]>> So, these are the two approaches.

[00:04:20]>> Okay.

[00:04:21]Uh you have just um you've just taken me out there, swerved me to a place that I I didn't expect because um I was looking at the social exchange theory from a paripasu servant-master relationship.

[00:04:43]>> Yes.

[00:04:43]>> Yes, you you you serve and the master in turn um meets certain needs. [music] >> Yes.

[00:04:51]>> But then, what you just did was um you you opened it up to a mentorship um sphere >> Yes.

[00:04:59]>> where the master does not just see a servant in the person, but he sees his future.

[00:05:08]Uh like um we would um say that every master was once a disaster.

[00:05:17]So, you see a disaster, you pick it up, you polish it. And while you're doing that, the person is open enough to acknowledge you and also serve you in return. Now, let's look at it from a workplace point of view.

[00:05:37]What is the place of dependability or reliability in any relationship? Human relationship, workplace relationship, [music] or even our service to God, sir.

[00:05:53]>> Okay.

[00:05:54]Um the key issue is results.

[00:05:59]We want results.

[00:06:00]>> Yes, sir.

[00:06:01]>> Results that will follow [music] the line of God's word.

[00:06:07]That is in whatever we do, we want God's word to be uppermost.

[00:06:13]God's principle to be uppermost. God's philosophy to be uppermost.

[00:06:18]So, if we go outside God's word, we should repent and come back to God's word.

[00:06:26]The The The The core principle in training any person, making any person useful, is God's principle. How will God react in such an environment, >> [music] >> in such circumstances, to produce the kind of results that we want from the individual.

[00:06:47]Okay.

[00:06:48]>> Um what is the role of dependability to any man at work?

[00:07:01]>> The role of dependability is that I depend on you to play some roles when I am not around.

[00:07:12]>> Yes, sir.

[00:07:13]>> Dependability is maybe twofold. Number one, when I am around, >> Yes.

[00:07:20]>> when I am not around.

[00:07:22]>> Yes, sir.

[00:07:22]>> When I am not around, you should know the things that will suit me. You should know my values. You should know my standards. And let people bring those standards to bear on anything that relates to me.

[00:07:39]>> Yes, sir.

[00:07:40]>> Then when you I will use the word graduate, yes sir, you enter a phase where I will be handing over to you.

[00:07:51]You should play such roles. You should be dependable. You should be reliable.

[00:07:56]You should be such that man can look up to you and say this is a child of God. And unless such roles are visible in an individual, the individual is a failure.

[00:08:12]Failure in the sense that you can attain levels of like in politics in Africa, you can attain a lot of things, but you do not meet the specification of the people, the desire of the people, the desire of whoever put you there. And once that desire is not met, you are um puffed up by wealth, puffed up by whatever, you are a failure in the sense that you did not meet the people's expectation.

[00:08:49]So, that's the key difference between expectation from an individual as a mentor, as a trainer, as a giver of roles to play. So, the expectation, the meeting of expectation is key in uh whatever roles you play.

[00:09:17]>> Okay. Lastly, I don't want the video to be very long.

[00:09:21]Lastly, um in dependability, I want to look at it from one part of the relationship, that's the serving part of the relationship. Yes.

[00:09:35]The Let me use the the cost part, the the lower person.

[00:09:40]What role or let me not use the word role.

[00:09:45]Um let's juxtapose dependability being dependable and integrity.

[00:09:54]How do they play How do they come to play to make the person better in his service?

[00:10:02]>> You see, integrity is number one.

[00:10:06]It's number one.

[00:10:07]>> Okay.

[00:10:08]>> Integrity means that the person you can rely on the person.

[00:10:15]>> Yes.

[00:10:16]>> The person is valuable to you.

[00:10:18]>> Yes.

[00:10:19]>> The person is gracious to you.

[00:10:21]>> Yes, sir.

[00:10:22]>> And once you can depend on a person, the you have value for the person. The person is key to all the decisions you make.

[00:10:36]And it is important [clears throat] that we we have values that we cannot twist.

[00:10:45]>> Yes, sir.

[00:10:46]>> And once we cannot twist these values, these values are straight.

[00:10:50]And they are known.

[00:10:53]People will fall into place.

[00:10:55]I have a lot of young men that are around me.

[00:10:59]I try as much as possible to put them in the values that I hold dear.

[00:11:05]>> Yes, sir.

[00:11:06]>> They will come with values that are contrary to what is in what I believe.

[00:11:12]>> Yes.

[00:11:13]>> I would tell them I don't believe in this. This is what I believe in.

[00:11:18]And they will come to play the role I expect from them.

[00:11:23]They have the options of going away.

[00:11:28]They have the options of staying. Those who have stayed have seen that they have done well. They've done better than their mates.

[00:11:36]And that is essential in is key for whatever role we are playing in their lives.

[00:11:46]>> Okay. Thank you, sir. Lastly, can you just talk about the um give us life application to the social exchange theory?

[00:12:00]>> Social exchange theory?

[00:12:01]>> Yes.

[00:12:02]>> I have been an individual who has um evolved with time.

[00:12:11]I have over the time um evolved from being a rough human being, being a human being that has not met societal expectations.

[00:12:26]I have evolved.

[00:12:27]And my evolution has reached a stage where I can share with people.

[00:12:34]>> Yes, sir.

[00:12:34]>> I want every individual who is associating with me to evolve.

[00:12:40]To evolve, maximize your uh the things around you. Evolve in such a way that you can meet needs. You can meet expectations.

[00:12:52]You can challenge people.

[00:12:54]And that is key in whatever I do.

[00:12:59]And I want every [music] individual who relates with me to relate with me from the perspective of knowing that my purpose of being with this man is to improve on my being and be a better person.

[00:13:18]>> Thank you very much, Dr. Charles Apoki.

[00:13:20]>> You're welcome.

[00:13:21]>> Any last words, please, for the audience?

[00:13:23]>> Yeah, I want to encourage them to buy land from me.

[00:13:26]I have properties um that are very genuine.

[00:13:31]I want you to patronize me and subscribe to this channel. Send a message to +2348021219262.

[00:13:40][music] God bless you.