Women Face Financial Crisis As Men Refuse To Be Their Retirement Plans

Added: 2026-05-10

[00:00:00]45 years old.

[00:00:02]And I'm supposed to be saving for retirement, but yet I can't afford a trip to the grocery store.

[00:00:07]>> I'm 57 and broke. My husband refuses [music] to to pay into my pension. For a long time, relationships carried more than emotion. They carried [music] security, stability, even long-term planning. But in 2026, that assumption is being [music] questioned. And the ripple effects are starting to show.

[00:00:25]What happens when relationships are no longer seen as a safety net, but [music] as an optional partnership? Stay with us till the end, because what's happening here isn't just [music] about money.

[00:00:34]It's about a complete shift in how people view relationships.

[00:00:41]>> [music] >> So I just came across this. It says, "Confession time. I'm almost 49 and I have zero retirement savings.

[00:00:50]No exaggeration. Absolutely nothing.

[00:00:52]Maybe about $900 in my checking account.

[00:00:54]No idea what the hell I'm going to do.

[00:00:55]And I know I can't be the only one."

[00:00:57]>> [laughter] >> Listen, Jessica.

[00:01:00]You and millions of strong independent women that don't need no man worldwide are starting to come to the same realization that you actually do need a man. You need someone to help you, a second income, someone that can pay the bills so you can put something back for retirement, someone that if you have a slip-up and you fall, they got you covered. See, while so many strong independent women were spending $3,800 on a high-rise apartment to be in a luxury building or having a 29.9% interest rate on that baby Benz or baby BMW, many men were investing in things like Nvidia, Bitcoin, and many other investments as well as retirement. So I'm going to tell you guys, as a strong independent woman, what your retirement plan is going forward. Listen carefully.

[00:01:40]They going to work you all day, every day, until you back you out.

[00:01:47]YOU GOING TO BE WORKING UNTIL THEY DROP THE CASKET.

[00:01:51]THEY GOING TO WORK YOU ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, [laughter] UNTIL YOU BACK YOU OUT.

[00:01:57]In the past, roles were more defined.

[00:01:59]Financial responsibility, long-term [music] planning, shared stability, it all followed a familiar structure.

[00:02:05]People knew what they were stepping into. 45 years old.

[00:02:10]And I'm supposed to be saving for retirement, but yet I can't afford a trip to the grocery store. I can't fill my freezer.

[00:02:19]We have to just get the basics for each week because the groceries are through the roof, gas is through the roof, and we haven't gotten any raises to combat that.

[00:02:30]How the hell are we supposed to retire?

[00:02:32]How are you Gen X mamas? How is it Gen X generation even making it? Are we going to retire? But today, that structure [music] is changing. Independence is higher, expectations are different, and the idea of relying on someone else financially is being reevaluated from both [music] sides. And another thing you need to be cognizant of when marrying a man is many men ditch their wives when they retire. And actually will be forming a whole secret retirement plan that involve abandoning their wife, especially if this wife has fallen ill or is in need of special caretaking as they reach retirement age.

[00:03:10]Many men have already created a backup plan, sometimes a backup family, a backup woman that will allow them to basically dispose of their wife. At this point, who are y'all picking as y'all's soulmate?

[00:03:24]I mean, every time I get on this app, it's something bad. Y'all don't ever share any good stories.

[00:03:31]Like, me and my wife, she is the beneficiary on all my accounts, my life insurance, my brokerage accounts, my 401k. And for those of you who don't know what a brokerage account is, it's the account you need to trade in the stock market. She's on all my stuff.

[00:03:51]And so, here's the other thing.

[00:03:53]If anything did happen with uh me and my wife, I'm okay with her taking half of the assets because she was there for me.

[00:04:02]And so, this is the issue when y'all pick bum partners that think me, me, me, this is the result you're going to get.

[00:04:11]Because truth be told, y'all go after people who you think are financially uh and emotionally and physically attractive to you, but does that person share the same sentiment?

[00:04:24]Are there bad people out there? Of course, but that's where you do your due diligence and make sure that you are getting someone not just for your looks, not just for any of the other stuff because that will fade, but you have to make sure this is right, okay? For many men, there's a growing focus on self-preservation, building their own stability, protecting their resources, and avoiding situations that feel uncertain or unbalanced. talking about how women fare off in divorce when women fare off far worse financially after divorce than men and are less likely to re-partner. Yeah. Women fare worse?

[00:05:01]>> fare off worse psychologically, but women are more likely their standard of living goes down, they're more likely to be in poverty, seek government assistance. Please look this up. Men are more likely to suffer alcohol, drug abuse, unalive themselves, get sick, all of those things. So psychologically men fare off worse after divorce, but financially women fare off worse.

[00:05:19]>> Well, that's just wrong on its face.

[00:05:21]>> Why is it wrong on its face?

[00:05:22]>> wrong on its face [laughter] because when it comes to faring worse, men overwhelmingly pay child support and alimony. Yes, but the woman's standard of living still goes down after divorce and the man's is less likely to. That's why I'm saying look it up.

[00:05:35]>> Yeah, but that's not clear to me if that's them faring worse financially.

[00:05:39]They're more likely for their standard of living to decrease after divorce, they're more likely to seek government assistance, more likely to be in poverty. Like child support, you mentioned it. I think only like 20-something percent, like it's not like everyone who's ordered to pay child support does. In fact, the majority don't.

[00:05:52]>> of child support, I mean, it's one of the ways in which we still have debtors' prisons, which doesn't exist for other kinds of debts. What do you mean? Well, men ex- almost men exclusively, if you don't pay child support, you're likely to be uh thrown in jail. That doesn't mean avoiding relationships entirely. It means approaching them with different criteria. Clarity, mutual contribution, and aligned expectations are becoming more important. Women more likely than men to have no retirement savings.

[00:06:19]Is this true?

[00:06:20]It's no secret that women often lag behind men in financial matters, and it's especially evident when it comes to retirement planning.

[00:06:28]Well, census data is worth listening to.

[00:06:31]According to the US Census Bureau, about 50% of women ages 55 to 66 have no personal retirement savings compared to 47% of men.

[00:06:41]More insight.

[00:06:43]Women also lag men at the other end of the spectrum. 22% of women have $100,000 or more in personal retirement savings compared to 30% of men.

[00:06:53]Because 65% of men and 58% of women ages 55 to 66 are married, the amount of retirement savings available is difficult to assess.

[00:07:03]Married couples plan their retirement together and save together.

[00:07:07]Women and men have more comparable retirement savings when couples' savings are combined with personal savings.

[00:07:13]However, there is still a smaller percentage of women who have retirement savings of $100,000 or more compared with their male counterparts, 34.2% compared to 36.4%.

[00:07:25]Appeal to women.

[00:07:27]Please look at your financial plan. If you need help, feel free to reach out.

[00:07:32]At the same [music] time, many women are navigating a different kind of pressure, balancing independence [music] with long-term security, career with personal life, and trying to align both in a changing [music] environment. My husband refuses to to pay into my pension.

[00:07:46]Ladies, please help. I'm currently on maternity leave, which of course means I'm not earning my usual income and cannot contribute to my pension as I normally would. After listening to the podcast, I've asked my husband to help by paying into my pension during this period, but he's resistant to the idea.

[00:08:01]Instead, he insists that when we retire, he will share his pension with me. While I appreciate the offer, I'm worried about the long-term implications. Not contributing to my pension now could significantly impact my financial security in the future. I'm also concerned about the lack of independence it could create as I'd be relying on his pension. I've tried to explain my concerns to him, but he doesn't seem to understand why this is so important to me. It's causing tension between us, and I don't want this issue to affect our relationship. How can I approach this situation in a way that helps him see from my perspective and find a solution that works for both of us?

[00:08:35]And when those expectations don't [music] match, tension appears. Not always openly, but in subtle ways.

[00:08:41]Hesitation, delayed commitment, or stepping back [music] entirely. Did you know that women are not saving enough for retirement? And according to CNN, only 12% of working women surveyed said that they feel confident about their retirement situation when they're at the age of retirement. Which is especially concerning cuz women continue to outlive men, but women are not in a situation where they can retire comfortably when they're ready to retire. So I wanted to unpack why that is, the reasons for that situation, not to make anyone feel anxious or shamed in any way, but just so that we could all feel more informed in where we're spending our money and if this is something we should prioritize for ourselves. The first reason why women are saving less than men for retirement is because they're leaving the workforce sooner than men. Women are still the predominant caretaker of when it comes to their families, and they're leaving in their really expected high earner years around the 30s to the 40s.

[00:09:31]And if you look at the pandemic, the pandemic really just accelerated all of that for women leaving the workforce in higher numbers than we've seen in decades. The second reason for why women are saving less than men is because the gender pay gap. Women are making less than men, about 84 cents to the dollar that a man makes. And if you look at women of color, that gap is even more significant. The third reason is that women just aren't talking about investing or saving, partly because they feel ill-equipped to have these types of conversations, and unlike men, we're just not as conditioned or expected to care about these things. Men have been expected from very early on to be financial breadwinners, and so they get targeted from so many different types of companies or outlets on how to save for retirement, whereas women don't. And the more that we talk about this, the more important it is that we can be financially independent for when we're ready to retire. Especially as women don't talk about this, they're really missing out on so much compound interest. So, I'm excited to really just be sharing financial advice for all women and making it easy to understand.

[00:10:26]Follow me for more content about personal finance. What used to feel like a shared plan now feels [music] like a negotiation. Who contributes what, who takes on which role, and what the long-term outcome looks like. One of the messages I've seen getting more and more popular on TikTok is that you don't need to save for retirement because the world's going to be up in flames by the time we get there. Now, I'm obviously no environmental scientist, but I think it's a bit dramatic to say that we will all just be fully extinct in the next 50 years. While I don't know what the world's going to look like in 50 years, I know damn well that the government's still not going to step in and save us if we don't save for retirement. Because I also could get in a fatal car crash tomorrow and all of my retirement funds would be for nothing, but I still want them there in case that doesn't happen.

[00:11:07]And there's obviously a difference between people who cannot save, they do not have the finances to save, and people who could and choose not to. I just think it's a little funny how some Gen Z'ers and Millennials will call out our parents for believing like the worst Photoshop thing we've ever seen on Facebook, but then we'll turn around and be like, "Oh, no, I don't need to save for retirement because the world's going to actually end." I just hate the idea of we get 40, 50 years down the line and people are dying because they're homeless and they can't afford healthcare, and it's all because someone told them at the age of 20 that they didn't need to save. So, please, if your employer offers a retirement match, please match that. It's free money.

[00:11:42]Please, please, please take advantage of that. This creates uncertainty. Because without [music] clear alignment, even strong connections can feel unstable when it comes to the future. Who takes care of you after you're 75 and visits you when you are going to die? Let's talk about this. My husband and I are currently kid-free. We plan on being kid-free probably for a long time, if not inevitably. This is a thought that has come through my head. Who will take care of us when we are old? But here's the thing. Just because you have kids does not, I repeat, does not guarantee that you are going to have someone who is going to take care of you at your old age. This is something that actually ends up sparking a lot of issues within families, as well. It's one of the hardest things families go through.

[00:12:26]There's the time aspect, there's the money aspect, there's so much that goes into who is going to take care of a parent. And unfortunately, there are many times, and I think a lot of people will agree with me on this, that there are many times that the kids just don't.

[00:12:42]And then they have to go to a home, and then they sell their house in order to pay for the home.

[00:12:45]>> Just because you have kids does not guarantee it. So, will we make other plans, or will we also have other relationships that maybe we wouldn't have if we did have kids? We'll probably hold those relationships tighter at our older age. And we'll probably be putting other funds towards older age caretaking, etc., in our retirement. Which I personally think that a lot of people should do that anyways, because at times, if you do have kids, then the kids feel obligated to take out their savings and their retirement to take care of their parents. I don't know, this thought that your kids are going to automatically take care of you just because you're their parents, I feel like it's not accurate. What do you think? The reality is, both sides are adapting, just in different ways. One focusing on protection and independence, [music] the other navigating evolving expectations and long-term planning. So, why are elderly women the poorest of the bunch right now? Well, because um women didn't get to have checking accounts until like 1974, I think it that was, and I'm 46, so that was 50-something years ago. Um I could do math, that was 61 years ago. Oh my god. It's getting too late in the day.

[00:13:56]Uh so, 61 years ago is when women could get uh checking accounts, but, you know, not everybody got a checking account right away. Um they also weren't the ones who were also working in the household, because dual income households are still not 100%, so we still have women who are not working in the household, raising children, and having one income households, meaning that their husband is the one who's making money and saving money and putting money towards a 401k to hopefully have both of them be able to use it. Um so, yeah, they didn't have the availability of saving money to be able to retire with money. So, as women, now that we have access to A, have a job, B, save money, and C, have a checking account, uh we can now say for ourselves, "You know what? I want to make sure that I have money when I retire. I actually am on track to have over $2 million when I retire, if not more, depending upon, you know, all my stock and pension comes in, and, you know, I still have 20 years to before I'm actually going to retire anyways. But, I can do that for myself.

[00:15:06]Whereas, women couldn't do that until more recently. Women couldn't have saved money for themselves. They had to rely on their partner. So, they ended up staying with their partner because they had to. They didn't have a choice. Now they have a choice. And what really sucks, too, is that if your partner that you were with told you that they were saving money for you, and then they croaked, and you realize that they didn't save any money for you, sorry for you, uh you're screwed as a woman. Like you're screwed. And we're recognizing that a lot of men don't put our interests anywhere close to theirs, and so now we're having to put our own interests to ourselves to make sure that we do have security when we get older and we cannot work anymore. And in that gap, misunderstandings [music] grow. Not because people don't want connection, but because they are trying to secure different outcomes. I'm 57 and I'm broke. Those are the words of a woman who has gone viral on YouTube after sharing her story about how she left her corporate job that was paying good money. She had a retirement. She had a pension. And she decided to leave that job, move to Atlanta, and pursue her dreams as an actress. And when everything fell through in Atlanta, she found herself dipping into her retirement until that money ran out.

[00:16:32]This woman shared in her story that God told her not to do it, and she did it anyway. She went against her better judgment, threw caution to the wind, and chased her dream. And you can chase your dreams, but don't throw everything away while doing so. Do both. Do both, but always, always have a safety net. Don't wind up old and broke. And please use this as a cautionary tale, because I personally know a lot of 60-year-olds, 70-year-olds, almost 80-year-olds that are broke. Because every decision you make along the way is setting you up for what's going to happen when you're 57 and beyond. So many people are just one bad decision away from being in the exact same situation. All right, love you. Bye. At its core, this isn't about one side refusing [music] the other.

[00:17:23]It's about a shift in incentives. And when incentives change, behavior follows. I think about how a lot of men think think that this is what needs to be true in order to like find a girlfriend or to be in a happy relationship. And what makes me sad about this is the fact that like men underestimate how far kindness goes.

[00:17:42]Genuinely, like so many women have dealt with men that are just not kind, that don't act respectfully. And so the minute that a woman comes across a genuine guy who is kind and who is respectful and who treats a woman well, like all of those things, the 6'9, the billionaire, being handsome, like all of that goes out the window. You would be so surprised to see girls choose the nice guy and like actually be happy and be in a very satisfying relationship. I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you can't afford a woman's lifestyle, then date within your budget. Stop shaming women for wanting what you can't provide. At the end of the day, relationships are no longer automatic safety [music] nets.

[00:18:23]They are partnerships that require alignment, contribution, and shared [music] vision. And without that, people are more willing to walk away than ever before. Men stopped playing by the rules, and now everyone's freaking out.

[00:18:35]Let's break down why silence has become the loudest move. What