Why Expats Quietly Leave Thailand—Even When Life Is Good

Ajouté : 2026-05-08

[00:00:00]Nan, what do you think many foreigners leave Thailand only after a few years?

[00:00:06]Maybe they feel alone.

[00:00:10]You think they don't find anybody?

[00:00:12]Yeah.

[00:00:13]Most people think they know why foreigners leave, but no one talks about the most important reason.

[00:00:22]By the way, if you are new here, welcome to Thailand Lifestyles.

[00:00:26]We are Nan and Odin.

[00:00:29]We talk about what life in Thailand is really like and not just the vacation part.

[00:00:39]Most people say the foreigners, they failed. They ran out of money or got scammed.

[00:00:48]But that's not true.

[00:00:50]Most guys I know, they left through the oven of some Thai temple after they passed away.

[00:00:59]And many of my friends left because their professional life changed. The company sent them to another country or they retired and went back home because they want to live at home with their family. Mhm.

[00:01:15]And then I knew one guy, he came here to Thailand and he was about the age near to retire, but he came here professional.

[00:01:26]And he got to know the a lady, she worked at a director in the management of a bank.

[00:01:34]And then they had a daughter.

[00:01:38]They built a house in Khao Yai. Mhm. And not him, her. She built the house, her family. They were very proud Thais. They did not want to have any money from him.

[00:01:49]When they married, they did not accept any sinsot, you know.

[00:01:53]He he was not on the same level as them for for what they think. Mhm.

[00:01:58]But then when the girl, the daughter, was in the age to go to school, his wife said we go back to Switzerland. I want my daughter to grow up in Switzerland, to go there to school.

[00:02:11]And this is what they did. They went right back where he came from.

[00:02:17]And then there was another guy, his mother was from Switzerland. Mhm. And his father was Thai and he grew up in Switzerland in a Swiss school and he spoke Swiss and he spoke Thai. And he came to Thailand in his mid-20s because he wanted to have a happy life. I played badminton with this young guy. It was fun, but I also talked to him, you're wasting your time here, you know, go to Switzerland, have a job where you get a pension and not waste your time here in Thailand.

[00:02:51]But he found a very nice wife and she had three children. But she was lovely, she was really a cute lady and lovely lady.

[00:03:00]So they married and he went with her to Switzerland.

[00:03:04]There are many reasons why people go back to their country.

[00:03:09]But none of them failed, on the contrary, I think all of them had very good reason.

[00:03:17]And there's one guy we just met a few weeks ago. He came to Thailand as a government official from Germany and he worked in the Thai government and his wife, she worked also for the Thai government and so they fell in love and he stayed in Thailand for quite a while.

[00:03:39]I think for about 10 years, but then the German government said, because he was a civil servant, either you come back or you lose your job.

[00:03:48]So he decided to go back to Germany and she moved with him and this is very good for him because he has really a big pension from Germany.

[00:03:59]And now he just retired.

[00:04:02]Anyway, all these stories are actually success stories and not the ones who failed. So the most important reason for people, I think, leave is something people not talk about and that is loneliness. Mhm.

[00:04:24]Many people come to Thailand hoping to find something they didn't have at home, a partner and a better life. Mhm.

[00:04:34]But the truth is, you don't arrive here as a new person.

[00:04:39]You bring everything with you.

[00:04:42]Your habits, your expectations, your way of thinking, your prejudices.

[00:04:51]And if those things didn't work at home, most likely they won't work here either.

[00:04:58]People come here and they start their life. They find themselves a nice condo, they enjoy the entertainment. Mhm. And from the outside, everything looks perfect, but inside, something is missing. Mhm.

[00:05:16]Because there's a big difference between having people around you and having people you can trust. Let me ask you a simple question. How many real friends do you think you have?

[00:05:31]Not your drinking buddies.

[00:05:34]Real ones.

[00:05:36]The kind of persons you can call when you are sick at home and you need help. Mhm.

[00:05:43]People which help you when you have a real problem.

[00:05:49]In your home country, you might have a neighbor, a childhood friend who has known you for decades. But in Thailand, if you end up in hospital tomorrow, who is the person holding your emergency contact card?

[00:06:13]For many, that space is blank.

[00:06:21]Nan, do you think it is easy for a foreigner to make friends, real friends, in Thailand?

[00:06:30]Mhm, no.

[00:06:32]It's not easy because of the different language, a different culture and a different way of thinking.

[00:06:42]Yes.

[00:06:43]Especially the different way of thinking.

[00:06:47]Even when we speak the same language, we don't always solve problems the same way. A foreigner might want to fix a problem with logic and directness, while Thai culture focuses on maintaining harmony.

[00:07:07]And that gap makes you feel sometimes very misunderstood. Mhm.

[00:07:14]And then there is the so-called revolving door.

[00:07:19]You finally find a good friend, but then his job changes. His company sends him to another country. He retires, but he goes back home to his country.

[00:07:31]Or all the reasons we talked about already why people leave, so your friends leave. And some of them also pass away. Mhm.

[00:07:41]And after a while, you stop trying to connect because it hurts too much to watch those people leave.

[00:07:51]>> [gasps] [snorts] >> Some try to solve the problem the easy way.

[00:08:01]They go into the nightlife because there you are never alone.

[00:08:07]There is always someone smiling at you, giving you attention.

[00:08:14]But attention is not connection.

[00:08:21]And if you pay for something, you will never find the people who would have given it to you for free.

[00:08:30]Yes.

[00:08:33]And this brings up a truth people don't want to hear, the window of time. If you come to Thailand when you are 45 or 50, you still have a runway.

[00:08:47]You have years to build a nest. You have time to learn the language, to understand the culture and even to fail at a few relationships until you find the real one.

[00:09:01]You have time to build a tribe.

[00:09:05]But we see it all the time.

[00:09:08]The people who wait until they are 70 to finally make their move. At 70, that window is closing fast. You don't have a decade to figure it out.

[00:09:23]If your first circle of friends turns out to be just bar friends, you might run out of time before you find the people who actually be there when it matters.

[00:09:38]Mhm.

[00:09:39]It is much harder to build a new life when you are tired. Yep.

[00:09:46]Actually, this video is inspired by a customer who moved into one of our rooms about a year ago and he is in his mid-70s.

[00:09:57]He wrote me an email and explained to me that he will go back because he is alone and at home everything will be better for him Mhm. because he's getting sick.

[00:10:11]One time Nan asked me something that really stuck with me. I asked, "What is an old people's home?"

[00:10:22]And I tried to explain to her it is an industry to support people when they get old and have no one else to help.

[00:10:34]>> This mean their family does not take care of them?

[00:10:38]Yes. That question hit me hard because these foreigners did not find a family to take care of them. Therefore, they had to go back.

[00:10:54]Even if it's harder to be back home, but there they still have somebody who knows them, somebody they can trust.

[00:11:05]Does it mean that it's impossible in Thailand? No.

[00:11:11]But it means you have to think and to plan differently.

[00:11:16]If your life is only built around convenience, nightlife, easy company, you will miss the one thing that really matters. Mhm.

[00:11:29]Real connection doesn't happen in the center of so noise. It happens in quieter places with people who are not trying to sell you something. Mhm.

[00:11:42]But you have to look at yourself.

[00:11:46]The world you live in is shaped by the people you choose.

[00:11:54]And the people you choose are shaped by you.

[00:12:02]For me, I was lucky because I found someone I can trust.

[00:12:09]In the end, it's not about where you live.

[00:12:14]It's about who you can trust.

[00:12:20]If that is missing, even the best life will start to feel empty. Mhm.

[00:12:29]And that's why some foreigners have to leave.

[00:12:37]Because company can be bought, but trust, friendship, and real connections, those are something else.

[00:12:50]Love is free.

[00:12:53]But only if you stop trying to buy it.

[00:12:59]Most people realize this when it's too late. Mhm.