How to Be Kind to Yourself | Buddhist Teachings for Inner Peace 🌿

Added: 2026-05-21

[00:00:00]Namo Buddhaya.

[00:00:02]No matter how good we are, no matter how talented we are, there are certain times in life we are going to make mistakes.

[00:00:10]We are going to mess things up in life.

[00:00:14]In such times, one of the most common things that we do is we hate ourselves.

[00:00:21]And this self-hatred can end up in serious situations like suicide.

[00:00:29]See how many times we say, "I love you."

[00:00:33]to someone?

[00:00:34]How often do we say it? We We say it often, right? But how often do we say, "I love myself."?

[00:00:42]"I appreciate who I am."

[00:00:45]This is something that we don't We don't do oftenly.

[00:00:48]See, in Buddhist practice, the first step of spreading love and kindness is to practice love and kindness or spread love and kindness to yourself.

[00:01:01]So, the Buddha saw that without being filled with self-love and self-kindness, you cannot be kind to someone else.

[00:01:10]So, that is why we have to learn how to be kind and how to love ourselves without hating ourselves. So, from this video, I'm going to be sharing with you few things that we have to understand >> [music] >> and we have to practice to stop hating ourselves and to start appreciating and loving our life. Number one, do not believe in labels.

[00:01:39]See, there are lots of labels that we have put on ourselves. For an example, your name.

[00:01:45]Your name is a label that was given by maybe your parents and everyone start to call from your from that name and it became your personality. It became who you are. Okay? Same like that, we are so good at labeling ourselves with our imperfections, with our mistakes, or with our incapabilities.

[00:02:09]But here's the thing, the more we label ourselves with our incapabilities. For an example, people say to themselves like I am a person who is being angry all the time.

[00:02:21]Okay? I'm a person who is who has having a weak mindset.

[00:02:26]I am a person who is lazy all the time.

[00:02:29]Okay? I don't have any friends. I don't I'm not getting in in with friends.

[00:02:34]Okay? I cannot be with these people.

[00:02:37]So, the more you label like that yourself, it becomes your personality.

[00:02:42]And that is why we should not believe in the labels that we put on ourselves.

[00:02:47]Why? Because a label, or your incapabilities, or your weaknesses, or your mistakes, are just a thought pattern.

[00:02:57]And it is always can be changed.

[00:02:59]Okay? You can always improve.

[00:03:02]And that is why we should not label ourselves with our incapabilities, and our mistakes, or our from our weaknesses. We always have the chance to improve and to evolve. Number two, learn to accept mistakes.

[00:03:18]Mistakes are the proof that says that we are trying in life, and we are not willing to give up on ourselves.

[00:03:25]Every great person in this world has made mistakes, and they have learned from their mistakes, and that is how they evolved, and that is how they achieved the greatness.

[00:03:37]Always remember, the mistakes will never define your character, unless you define your character with your mistakes.

[00:03:48]So, do not let your mistakes to define your character. Always you have the chance to improve and move on and make yourself a good person and improve yourself.

[00:03:59]Believe in it. Number three, stop criticism.

[00:04:04]This is something that is very important that we have to focus on in loving ourself.

[00:04:11]Stop criticizing yourself. Stop criticizing others.

[00:04:15]Now here I'm not talking about the constructive criticism.

[00:04:19]I'm talking about the negative criticism, okay? Do not criticize others and also do not criticize yourself.

[00:04:26]Okay? Why we should not criticize others to put others down?

[00:04:31]In each and every time when we criticize someone, we give the message to our mind that we are better than them.

[00:04:38]Okay? I am perfect than them. And you set standards to yourself. Most of the time these are the These are not realistic standard, okay?

[00:04:48]And when we cannot live up to our own standards, what happens to us?

[00:04:54]We hate ourselves.

[00:04:55]And that is how criticism steals the self-love and the self-value. And that is why we should not criticize anyone.

[00:05:04]And number four, believe that imperfection is beautiful.

[00:05:09]Just take a deep breath and look into this nature.

[00:05:13]Everything has that one nature that is the imperfection.

[00:05:17]From the little plant to the great mountain, everything is imperfect, >> [music] >> right? There is no perfectly symmetrical plant in this world. There is no perfectly symmetrical mountain in this world. Everything has the imperfection.

[00:05:33]And as humans, we also imperfect human beings, okay? And also that gives the chance It gives the chance for us to evolve. It gives the chance for us to be more productive and be more successful. See, becoming successful and becoming happy is not a destination.

[00:05:53]It is not a perfection, right? It is always a journey. We have to keep improving ourselves. We have to keep becoming successful, becoming happy.

[00:06:03]This is a journey that we go through in in this life. So, when you accept the imperfections, no matter how good we are, no matter how talented we are, no matter how great we are, there will be always imperfections in life. When we accept it, we can focus our kindness and our love towards ourself. And also, every single day, this is something that you can practice. When you wake up in the morning, just sit on the bed and think, "No matter how imperfect I am, no matter what mistake that I do in my life, I'm not going to give up on myself."

[00:06:44]Right? I keep improving myself. I keep making myself a good person, a happier person, and I will never let go of myself.

[00:06:55]This is not something that is called selfishness. Selfishness is expecting many unrealistic things from yourself, right? And And then when you're not up to your standards, you start to hate yourself. And that is why when you truly love yourself, truly love your imperfections, and truly love who you are and accept who you are, you get the chance to improve, and you get the chance to evolve. And these are the things that we have to keep in mind in order to practice the self-love and and improve the self-value. So, keep practicing these things and make your life happier and healthier. Namo Buddhaya.

[00:07:39]Namo Buddhaya.

[00:07:41]Welcome to another video.

[00:07:44]In today's video, let's talk about the purest love in this world.

[00:07:51]Well, when we love people in the normal life, right? When we make relationships or when we become kind to people, we tend to be kind or we tend to love people on conditions.

[00:08:05]Our love and our kindness based on conditions. It's like this, if you became kind to me, then I will be kind to you.

[00:08:14]If you love me, then only I'm going to love you.

[00:08:18]Right? So, that is based on conditions.

[00:08:23]There is a saying that I have heard uh that someone is saying, "If you be kind to someone expecting that person to be kind in return to you, you're not becoming kind to that person.

[00:08:37]You're doing a business."

[00:08:40]Right? So, the purest kindness or the purest love in this world is unconditional love and unconditional kindness. Or in another word, unbound love or unbound kindness.

[00:08:57]So, how to do this? How to practice this? Well, the Buddha teaches us about this universal, unconditional, and unbound love and kindness.

[00:09:09]He says like this, "When a mother loves her only child, she loves that child unconditionally, without any exceptions, without any expectations.

[00:09:21]Same like that, you have to spread the same kindness, same love, and same compassion towards all living beings in this world, without any exceptions, without any uh reservations. So, the way to do that is you have to generate a mind of thinking like, "May my enemies be well and happy.

[00:09:46]May they live long. May they live a happy life."

[00:09:50]"May my friends be happy. May they live long. May they live a happy life."

[00:09:56]"May everyone in this world without any exception, without any bound, may all living beings in this world be well and happy. May they live long. May they live happily."

[00:10:10]So, when you spread that mind of love and kindness, that is called the purest form of love and kindness in this world.

[00:10:20]All the other loves and kindnesses are based on conditions.

[00:10:26]Based on expectations. It's saying like, "If you're loving me only, I'm going to love you."

[00:10:33]But, in true love and in pure love, it's not like that. He's He's saying or he or she is saying that I need everyone to be happy.

[00:10:45]I need everyone to be happy in their lives without any expectations.

[00:10:51]That is the purest form of love. So, you have to have a great practice and great dedication, right? And you have to have a great mindset to practice this purest form of love. But, you can achieve this by practicing it little by little, step by step, and applying this love and kindness to your practical life. So, practice this love and kindness practice as a daily basis. Maybe like whenever you get up in the morning, just sit on the bed, just close your eyes, take a deep breath in, let it out, and think, "May everyone in in this world be well and happy.

[00:11:38]May my enemies be well and happy. I am forgiving them. Today, I choose to forgive them."

[00:11:47]That is how you practice this this little step of pure love and pure kindness. So, practice it and feel it that you are feeling the peacefulness inside. So, make your life much more better with love and kindness.

[00:12:05]Namo Buddhaya. Namo Buddhaya.

[00:12:08]Welcome to another video.

[00:12:11]In today's video, let's talk about how to stay focused during studies.

[00:12:17]Well, this is a question that most of the students ask from us.

[00:12:22]When they how can we stay focused in studies?

[00:12:25]I am easily becoming distracted. I am my when my mind is wandering here and there. So, how can I concentrate my mind to studies?

[00:12:35]Well, first of all, let me ask you a question.

[00:12:41]Do you become distracted when you listen to your favorite song?

[00:12:49]Are you easily distracted when you watch your favorite movie?

[00:12:54]Whenever you are doing something that you mostly like, that you have the passion with, do you become distracted?

[00:13:03]No, you don't.

[00:13:05]You are well concentrated into that.

[00:13:07]So, what is the first secret behind this focusing power?

[00:13:14]Passion.

[00:13:16]Whenever you like something, your mind is focused to that.

[00:13:21]So, the first step of building the focus to anything is to develop the passion or the desire to do that.

[00:13:32]So, that is why they say that do what you love or love what you do.

[00:13:39]So, maybe it is for the studies, maybe it is for meditation. If you have the passion, you will be well concentrated. If you do not have the passion, if you did not like what you're doing, then your mind is going to be distracted.

[00:13:55]So, the first step is creating the passion towards it. So, the second step of creating the focus is to be happy with little achievements like little focusing times.

[00:14:09]Whenever you study, whenever you meditate, you may have little times of focus.

[00:14:14]Maybe for you may be concentrated for 10 seconds, or maybe 15 seconds, maybe 30 seconds, maybe 1 minute.

[00:14:22]What you have to do is you have to be happy with that.

[00:14:27]The thing that is with us is we are expecting many big things in our life.

[00:14:33]But we are not happy with little things in our life. So, what do you have to do?

[00:14:37]Whenever you are focused, maybe for 10 seconds, say, "I'm happy with that."

[00:14:43]Admire it, right?

[00:14:46]Without that, you cannot create the focus.

[00:14:49]So, admire your little achievements.

[00:14:52]That is the one thing that you have to do. And the next thing is you have to reduce your distractions.

[00:14:59]Notice what you become distracted. Maybe social media, maybe your mobile phone, maybe something that you think of, right?

[00:15:09]So, what do you have to do? Reduce those distractions. Stay away from those distractions, right? If you start to study, if your phone is distracting you, what do you have to do? Keep that away for a little while, right? Whenever you reduce or whenever you stay away from the distractions, your mind become well focused. That is another thing that we can do to create the focus in our mind. And also remember, focusing power is not an act.

[00:15:39]It is a practice. It is a habit. So, what do we have to do? We have to practice this focusing power or this concentration again and again.

[00:15:51]How to do it? So, whenever you are studying, if you notice that your mind is wandering here and there, maybe in several thoughts, right? But when you notice it, when you become aware of it, take back that distracted mind to your focusing point. Maybe to studies, maybe to meditation. Take it back.

[00:16:12]It may stay in the studies for a little while. Your mind may stay in the studies for a little while. Then it will become distracted again. That is the nature of our mind. So, what do you have to do it again? You have to take it back and start to study.

[00:16:27]When it is distracted, take it back to the studies and keep on studying. When you do it over and over again, what happens is it creates this power of habit. Then you will you can create the focusing power in your studies. So, these are the little things that we can practice to create more focus. And also, before studying, before you do anything that needs your focus, just meditate a little while.

[00:16:59]Maybe just close your eyes and focus your on your breathing pattern.

[00:17:05]Your in-breath and out-breath, right?

[00:17:07]When you focus your mind to that, your mind we give that message or we we give that signal to our mind that now you should be concentrated. You should be focused.

[00:17:19]So, when you practice these things, your mind will little by little get used to be focused. So, practice these little practices and make your life a better one.

[00:17:32]Namo Buddhaya. Namo Buddhaya. Welcome to another video.

[00:17:37]Today, I'm going to introduce you to this basic and simple Buddhist practice.

[00:17:42]And this practice is known as Sila.

[00:17:45]Now, the word Sila is a Pali word that we can translate it to English as ethical conduct or virtue.

[00:17:55]Now, in Buddhism, the Buddhist teachings are always directed to the liberation of mind. Oh, it is the ultimate goal of Buddhism, the liberation of mind from all the sufferings. To achieve this state, Buddha taught us that you should practice three practices.

[00:18:13]First one is Sila, which we are going to discuss today. It is called the ethical conduct.

[00:18:18]Second one is Samadhi. Samadhi means concentration.

[00:18:23]And the third one is Panna, or it is known as wisdom in Buddhism.

[00:18:28]So, Sila plays a crucial role in Buddhism and Buddhist practice.

[00:18:34]So, what do you mean by ethical conduct?

[00:18:36]Ethical conduct helps you to be disciplined from your body and from your words. Okay? So, once you become disciplined from your body and from your words, then [music] normally, your mind will be disciplined. So, these are coexisting, okay? That means these helps these things, these practices help each other.

[00:18:59]Okay? Once you become disciplined with your mind, you can be disciplined from your body and from your words. Or, if you become disciplined from your body and words, normally, automatically it happens that your mind will be disciplined. So, that is why the Buddha introduced us these ethical conducts or practice of virtues in Buddhism.

[00:19:22]Now, basically uh Buddha taught us that we need to practice five precepts. Okay? These are five guidelines that Buddha taught us to practice in daily life.

[00:19:35]Now, for someone, you may feel like they are set of rules, but in reality Buddha never imposed rules on anyone.

[00:19:44]Okay? These are guidelines and these are the things that Buddha [music] teaches us to practice because Buddha saw that there are disadvantages if you break those guide break these guidelines. For an example, the first practice of sila is to abstain from killing beings. Okay? So, when you kill animals, there are so many disadvantages that comes to your life. And also, you acquire a bad karma because your actions and your intentions are unwholesome.

[00:20:16]Once you kill animals, kill living beings, your intentions are unwholesome.

[00:20:21]So, through unwholesome intentions and actions, what will happen?

[00:20:26]You will gain bad karma. And that bad karma will leads to suffering in one's life.

[00:20:32]And that is why Buddha said, there are are disadvantages and there are bad consequences when you do these things. Okay? When you kill animals, when you steal, there are disadvantages that comes to your life.

[00:20:47]So, as beings that who likes to be happy in your life, okay? In your personal life, if you like happiness, then stay away from these bad deeds or unwholesome deeds. So, abstaining from these unwholesome deeds is known as precepts in Buddhism or sila or virtue in Buddhism, okay? So, there are mainly five precepts that we all need to practice. The first one is abstaining from killing beings, staying away from harming anyone's life, okay?

[00:21:20]First one.

[00:21:22]The second practice is abstaining from stealing.

[00:21:26]Abstaining from taking anyone's possessions without permission, okay?

[00:21:30]Without asking.

[00:21:31]That is an unwholesome deed, and that has many bad consequences, okay? People have to suffer if they do that.

[00:21:39]Second one is, Buddha said, abstain or stay away from sexual misconduct, okay?

[00:21:46]Because when you engage in sexual misconduct, that leads to many bad consequences in your relationships, okay? So, Buddha said, stay away from sexual misconduct.

[00:21:58]Third one is abstain [music] from or stay away from lying, okay? When you lie, you break the trust of people. Once you break the trust, there are many problems in your life, okay? There will be many problems in your life. So, Buddha said that stay away from lying. And as the final precept, Buddha said that stay away from [music] intoxicating yourself. Stay away from using drugs and any other intoxicants, okay? Because that leads to a lot of sufferings in your life.

[00:22:30]So, these are the main and basic Buddhist practice, or sila, or precepts, that all the Buddhists practice in all around the world, okay? So, basically, these precepts, or these virtues, helps you to develop a better life and a happy life without regrets. Once Monk Ananda asked from the Buddha, "What is the purpose of practicing >> [music] >> ethical conduct?"

[00:22:58]Then the Buddha said, "You should practice ethical conduct to stay away from regret and remorse in your life.

[00:23:07]Now, if you look at these things, if you look at these five precepts, killing, abstaining from killing, abstaining from stealing, abstaining from sexual misconduct, abstaining from telling lies, abstaining from in- using intoxicants, if you do these things, what will happen?

[00:23:24]At the end of at the end of this deed, there will be nothing but the regret.

[00:23:30]Okay? You end up regretting yourself like, "Why did I do that?"

[00:23:34]Okay? So, Buddha said that that is one of the major harms to your life, to your spiritual life for someone who is engaged and for someone who is seeking the peacefulness in your life.

[00:23:48]So, Buddha said, "Practice a virtuous life and a clean and a pure life to be happy inside."

[00:23:56]Once you know that you are happy and you are clean and pure in your mind, in your character, then it will give you a big big happiness to your life. So, that is why we need to practice these virtues. Okay?

[00:24:12]That is the purpose of sila. So, understand this simple Buddhist practice and try to practice these precepts in your life.

[00:24:20]Namo Buddhaya.