Pioneer Girl | EP105 Balloon Pop | KindaTV

Added: 2026-05-15

[00:00:02]Beg for it. Louder. Bite your lip a little. Don't be such a [ __ ] about it.

[00:00:07]Use what God gave you. Now apologize for who you are. Isn't this always the way?

[00:00:12]Marilyn, Dolly, Britney, all really savvy women who for success or survival use a wink and a wiggle to build business only to get smacked with [ __ ] shame right across the face. I mean, the same people who demanded their skin skinned them alive for it.

[00:00:28]>> [music] >> You take us down for your pleasure and then you blame us for falling. Well, here I lie, a fallen woman outraged at your filthy hypocrisy.

[00:00:45]>> [music] >> Okay, that's not much of an apology.

[00:00:50]Actually, what happened to the script?

[00:00:52]Wait, what am I Wait, what am I supposed to apologize for? I am who they want me to be. I'm who you made me be. I did not tell you to court the sons of Omen. We are getting trashed online. Can you look a little more ashamed? Maybe I should just bend over while you spank me and scream mea culpa with a pouting puppy dog eyes. You know, that could work actually. Let's do that.

[00:01:17]Hello.

[00:01:19]What is it, Eleanor?

[00:01:20]It's not my fault.

[00:01:22]Well, you're bad at this.

[00:01:24]I don't know how this happened, okay?

[00:01:26]You don't know how selling yourself as a corset model made you an object of adoration for white nationalist toxic masculinity.

[00:01:32]Oh, did you just call me a model?

[00:01:35]Only because I can't say the other word.

[00:01:40]There it is.

[00:01:41]There it is. You all wanted her. Tell me you didn't. The cleavage, the carefully curated mischief, that's smart, subtle, and historically accurate.

[00:01:50]Pioneer Girl is the whole reason you're still here digging around in the dirt instead of back on Bay Street sobbing into a soy latte.

[00:01:57]She's the reason why Sam can still make her weird art that scares children and most adults. And she's the reason why I might still have a chance at a new book idea.

[00:02:03]Are you still working on that?

[00:02:06]You made me stop searching. Eleanor, there's not a thing in this world I can make you do.

[00:02:10]I'm not the inflexible one here. That is the cold, steel spine of the patriarchy.

[00:02:14]So, excuse me.

[00:02:17]Fire bends metal.

[00:02:21]This is the most horribly subtle mansplain I've ever received.

[00:02:24]>> [music] >> You talk down to me like you mean it.

[00:02:29]Don't let them put out your fire.

[00:02:32]Just because you got burnt.

[00:02:38]Oh, it's like you're almost hot sometimes.

[00:02:45]Somebody's hot.

[00:02:47]>> [sighs and gasps] >> Hey.

[00:03:07]Look, I know things have been a little bit weird around here and and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if anyone was offended.

[00:03:16]I'm sorry if I offended everyone.

[00:03:19]Fine. I'm I'm sorry I am offensive to you. Present tense, active voice, offensive. Offensive.

[00:03:26]Okay, maybe I took it a little bit too far, but I was only doing what I had to to make change. Did it make some people uncomfortable? Sure, fine, yes, it did.

[00:03:34]But, I mean, that's how you make space for women's voices, right? You you you use the system, you figure it out, you make it work for you.

[00:03:42]Get canceled, historical Karen.

[00:03:45]What? What? Don't No, don't you Karen me. I am out there screaming truths in their faces for all of us.

[00:03:51]>> That's exactly the problem. Your voice is the only one that anyone can hear.

[00:03:56]You take up all the space, all the air.

[00:04:01]Do you want to yell at them with me?

[00:04:04]Actually, we need to honor your role in the village. I just commissioned a bronze bust. It's modeled after your bust, actually.

[00:04:17]What do you think of the prototype?

[00:04:21]Hilarious. That's me. It's me, right?

[00:04:24]It's the the cellist everyone loves to hate. Oh.

[00:04:28]But riddle me this.

[00:04:31]How was I supposed to compete with the boys' club if I didn't break some rules of polite society?

[00:04:38]Have you met my friend Eleanor? She is full of hot air.

[00:04:44]>> [laughter] >> Look at her, floating up there above the fray while we're all out here grinding it out, you know.

[00:04:51]You think you're changing the narrative?

[00:04:53]Really? No.

[00:04:55]You're just a prop.

[00:04:56]>> Corporate puppet in heels.

[00:05:07]>> [sighs and gasps] >> My ritual sacrifice is complete.

[00:05:17]>> [sighs and gasps] >> My downfall is the common ground you all need to feel alive. Humiliate and be merry.

[00:05:25]I don't want to humiliate you, Eleanor.

[00:05:30]Don't you?

[00:05:31]Not right now.

[00:05:34]Eleanor, you make yourself the center of everything.

[00:05:38]It isn't about you. I don't want to be humiliated or or used. I hate that I did that to you. That's exactly what Patrick did to me.

[00:05:48]>> Eleanor!

[00:05:49]>> [ __ ] Sorry.

[00:05:54]Look.

[00:05:56]For the record, I think your art is amazing. Okay, I've never met anyone who can make a searing comment on feminism with a balloon. Well, yeah, I'm like really good. Sorry about that, by the way.

[00:06:08]Don't you want to yell at them with me?

[00:06:11]Just a little.

[00:06:14]I don't want to be part of your manic homesteading with hubby hayride porno.

[00:06:21]>> [sighs] >> Look, I I can't promise that I'll button it up, but I I will move over and shut up some.

[00:06:27]Sorry.

[00:06:29]I'll do better.

[00:06:40]I'll clean that up.

[00:06:42]Yes, ma'am.

[00:06:44]>> [music] [music] >> Okay. So, Ooh.

[00:06:54]Real talk time.

[00:06:57]I was hoarding [music] all the history.

[00:06:59]I was a history hoarder.

[00:07:02]No matter how brilliant I sounded in all of those seemingly accurate rants, history hoarder, right here, guilty. Um, but but [music] now I am taking a backseat to another daddy. Woohoo! Sam. Sam, [music] get Sam, get uh Sam is here to take over the Pioneer Girl feed. So, here she What? Um Oh.

[00:07:26]What do you Uh so, apparently Sam had another takeover to go to. [music] Busy lady.

[00:07:42]Does this still count as sharing?