Being Straight Is A Performance

Added: 2026-06-01

[00:00:00]Heterosexual, that's biology.

[00:00:01]Straightness, that's a performance.

[00:00:03]>> I'm too high for this one.

[00:00:04]>> No. Get some water.

[00:00:07]>> Straightness and whiteness, they're sisters. They're constructs.

[00:00:10]>> Constructs.

[00:00:10]>> It's a label for you to >> Hold on. I got to just take two seconds.

[00:00:13]There's so many words. He said heterosexuality is biology. Straightness is a a a what?

[00:00:20]>> It's performance.

[00:00:20]>> It's a performance. Okay.

[00:00:22]>> So, it's it's it's a label for you to to perform. Uh, also when you think about certain boys that are raised, um, they're not raised how to be decent human beings. They're raised how not to be like girls. They're taught to hate anything that's feminine, anything that's soft.

[00:00:38]>> Um, and that, you know, anyone that expresses emotion that is soft. And also that rage and anger are also emotions.

[00:00:45]So, it's it's it's a lot of >> it's a lot of conditioning that has happened that hasn't allowed especially us as as as black men to just be human beings. You have to perform. Your value is is contingent upon upon what you do versus who you are.

[00:01:03]>> What somebody else does with their private parts ain't stressing you out, >> right?

[00:01:08]>> And you just you're not trying to perform. That's a heterosexual man. But when you are straight, it's rah rah. I hate women. Uh, homies over hoes.

[00:01:15]>> Yeah, >> some men are so straight that they go to prison.

[00:01:21]>> Boys, >> what I what I have I enjoyed is seeing my homies bop their heads and groove to me singing about [ __ ] [ __ ] >> I, you know, I thought I was there. I don't know if I'm bopping my head and groov into that. But is it weird that I don't want to listen to some dude talk about how he wants to bang another dude?

[00:01:44]>> If that's a performance, okay, I guess I'm performing. I just don't care.

[00:01:47]>> No, it's not weird. There's some people that would want to listen to that and would bob their head to it, but like no, I can't do it because of people. I'm not saying I'm It's not about if you didn't want if you don't want to listen to it, it's not necessly performative. But there's a bunch of people out there that feel the need to perform that they don't want to do it even if they do. You understand what I'm saying? That's more in that that realm. I think when you get past the whole labels of straightness and heterosexuality, I think the main idea says that men sometimes feel the need to overcompensate to prove their sense of masculinity, which I think is what he's getting at. And they go so far sometimes in that idea of projecting this idea of masculinity that they sometimes end up in prison or in really bad situations. And that, you know, accepting any aspects of femininity seen as bad, whether it be painting your fingernails or moving your hands a specific way or dancing. you know, everyone's got their different lines in relative places, but I don't think, you know, if you get away from all those labels or whatever he's saying, I think it's like makes perfect sense.

[00:02:41]>> What I mean by the perform from the performance about things, you know what I mean? Uh, one time I was in a dance hall party, right? And then you have one man sitting on the side, right? He's right there and there's someone there's actually a live music going on and dude is singing his heart out, right? Cover band, everything and stuff. He's singing all the greatest hits and everything and stuff. And this guy is me mugging.

[00:03:03]Everybody's swinging and I'm He's looking at me dance. I'm like, "Yo, what's up with you?" Bad man no dance.

[00:03:11]No man going to make no man dance. So because the man was singing and he's another man. He's like another man's not going to make me dance. I'm not going to dance. That's a performance. It doesn't prove that you're gearing up. But you're performing right now. You're like, "Yeah, I got to show these mother. I got to show these." The minute you could replace your your sentence with I got to show these, it's not a show. It's not show and tell. You're making a spectacle of yourself that people can't know. You know, Bman square front shoes and tight pants. Why? What the P them going to say? And I'm saying that in accent because a lot of my Jamaican people, it's a performance when you're saying that cuz you're thinking about the other people them looking at you, right? The pause game is that pause, man. That was weird. Nah, bro. That's it's just you acting weird about that [ __ ] You know what I mean? So that that I feel like it is like heterosexual. He's talking about is like whether you feel attracted by guys or girls. It is biology. That's biology. Biology. That's old school. But then the straight n I'm straight.

[00:04:18]Straight. No. No. I don't do none of that. That's not That's not Yeah. It doesn't change what the biology says about you or how you feel about your biology. It doesn't feel how you feel about being attracted about people. The straightness you show to other people.

[00:04:32]The heterosexual is what happens in your b in your bedroom. There's a bunch of people. I'm straight. I'm hot. I'm that down low, [ __ ] That means it's your performance. You're creating a performance for the other people them to see. That's what you're doing. N I'm straight. I don't do none of that. I don't. Why? Why? Cuz you're afraid of the perception of other people going to look upon you. So, you're performing.

[00:04:56]Same thing as whiteness when he said like when they're sisters the whiteness is a construct. How many people that I know that are white but because they hang around us it's like the codes that they have are different and they're not emulating something. I've known some people that were adopted by black families. So there are other people around them was black. The the the the codes that they have the cultural about it is black. So it's like what you say white is just a some some kind of performance. The same thing when they they apply it to black people. Oh, you talk white right now. No. No. It's cuz your depiction of black is just a small thing that is being performed. That person, the way that person looks like, you associate that with blackness. But it's not. It's just a cultural thing that makes them appear a certain way that you deem being black. But the whiteness, what you deem white, it depends of cultural. I've seen some people in Louisiana because they they hang around cre or they hang they white presenting but you're going to be like yo that person is acting black. That's cuz what is is their environment is that >> uh I think that people growing up are all trying to find a place to belong to.

[00:06:04]They're trying to find who they are.

[00:06:05]Some people find who they are in different labels. Whether it be, you know, different identities, whether it be where you're from, whe what city you live in, whatever [ __ ] neighborhood you're from, whatever nationality your parents were born into. I guess you can call them all performances, you know, if you're raised by two Italian parents and you speak a specific type of way and you overcompensate to the point where you, you know, I guess you can call that a performance if you want to. You know, you can call people who try to be hyper feminine a performance, too. you all all performances, but I think some people just adhere to a set of customs and a set of norms that exist around a concept. So, let's say if I'm Ethiopian, there's probably a certain set of traditions, cultural aspects that I'm going to be really tied to that are going to be very normal for everyone else. And maybe everyone's just performing this set within the boundaries of like what's socially acceptable. And maybe he's one of those people who gets to be a real individual where he gets to borrow from so much. I don't think either is wrong. I don't think either one is a big issue. I think ideally you just give people a choice.

[00:07:07]You give people space to not feel shame for being different if they want to and for people who adhere to these norms uh to feel fine. But I do think like labeling it a performance to me is a bit it has like a negative connotation.

[00:07:22]You know, the whole thing of performative is a negative connotation.

[00:07:26]The whole idea of performance is negative and that you're fake or something like that. I don't think it's always necessarily that. I think sometimes you have these ideas that are pretty strong and very rigid and you adhere to those things and they define a lot of your habits and your day-to-day stuff. I don't I wouldn't label that a performance personally. And I notice this gets done a lot with males and straightness. You know what I'm saying?

[00:07:47]This kind of rhetoric >> cuz like I could sit there and say like gay dudes are very performative.

[00:07:52]>> It's a performance. I but we just don't have that conversation. We don't sit here and say women are having a performance. That's not like a talking point. So that's why when I see this always like labeled around dudes and all this other stuff and string I'm like you can I guess but I do notice the asymmetry and how this conversation happens and I also do notice that it is generally reserved for this one group in this one way and that's why I don't take it neutally cuz I don't think they use it neutally and I don't think the term itself is neutral. So if they're meaning it in a negative way I don't necessarily adhere to it.

[00:08:23]>> I can understand what you're saying.

[00:08:24]Yeah. I think it applies to other people being performative. It's not just one-sided.

[00:08:28]>> No I mean Okay. Okay, let me ask you. If you are an immigrant from, let's say, Nigeria, you come to North America or maybe the UK and you hold on very strong to those customs. You feel a pressure to be Nigerian. I would argue you're also performing by this definition and you're being Haitians. How many Haitians are very performative?

[00:08:50]>> 100%. 100%. I'm super Haitian. They have to pro. Yes, I agree with you. Yep. And and it's just that and what makes it as a reality that is because of the negative connotation about uh performance and I also agree with that.

[00:09:03]I'm like yeah there is a negative uh connotation with performance like it sounds fake and stuff. It's like when Cardi B came up with that song little [ __ ] I y'all [ __ ] wanted to sing that but you couldn't cuz you and I'm one of them girls and then what happened? You're like all right man you know what to complete that point I have to show you it's wonderful >> from our ever. So, I expect something different from you. You see what I'm saying?

[00:09:28]>> So, it's >> I don't like him and I don't like the other dude, whatever his name is.

[00:09:37]I You just threw me off. You just took a cucumber to the face like that. I I You talking about being a man like man up. You just eating this ain't a man.

[00:09:50]You You can't dice it. Do I have to see?

[00:09:55]And you ate it with the skin on. Like that skin is what has the most protein.

[00:09:59]>> Ah, I can't do this.

[00:10:02]>> I know, man. That [ __ ] >> that's funny as [ __ ] >> I won't lie, though. Someone's talking about how masculine they are while they're just shoving pickles down their throat. Funny. Okay, >> that's funny. You're just going to take that to their face? You can't dice.

[00:10:16]Imagine we having a conversation. I'm next to you now. I'm manly. What you doing? dicing cucumbers. I can eat it properly so you don't feel >> I'm sorry. Like there is a dicho because I think we all have images of these things and maybe these things are you know inherited and overperformative but like the idea of some like super villain being like I will destroy the world and the dude has like you remember those ring pops >> those you imagine some super villain with a ring pop just be like you'll die soon. I don't know that that is a funny juxiposition.

[00:10:55]>> You see how both dead balls you can't just be out like that. You heard it.

[00:11:02]>> Why is he jerking it though?

[00:11:07]>> Got to watch how you eat bananas around these [ __ ] You heard?

[00:11:10]>> WHY IS HE JERKING THE BANANA BEFORE HE PUTS IT IN HIS HEAD? I I'LL say I'll say like some of it is obviously a performance quote unquote but some of it's also mocking the performance like I've watched that pod that they had and they played the whole pause game all the time but you could tell sometimes they just add in sauce cuz it's [ __ ] funny and I think that's a good thing we do yes 100% I enjoy the pause game I think it's hilarious because it's almost like fart jokes to me you know what I'm saying it's really so silly to me and cuz like somebody will be in the moment of like they'll be just talking about some [ __ ] and be like yeah so I just had to, you know, you put him in his place and let him know he couldn't talk to me like that. And so I went hard.

[00:11:48]>> Hey yo, and then you see everybody just go from serious to laughing.

[00:11:52]>> But it's just that it's just that it's just funny to me that this eating a banana like this hot is gay. But this >> I mean that's how you roll dice.

[00:12:03]>> No, but I mean you're jerking it in the air. You're jerking You're jerking a whole banana. Pause. That's crazy.

[00:12:09]>> YEAH.

[00:12:10]>> BOWLING.

[00:12:11]>> YEAH. I uh just a just a