🔥 SNAPPING THE F OUT⁉️ ANXIETY, STRESS & FEELING OVERWHELMED 💔

本站添加: 2026-05-12

[00:00:23]Hi, my love beautiful souls. It's Mr. Rose 111 and I'm back to bringing darkness to light. So, as I'm walking you guys, I just thought I'd get on here and share with you guys some some things going on. That's new. I wonder what that thing is.

[00:00:41]Not sure. Um, so today's been a very, very stressful day for me. Uh, you know, there are some days that we have some hard days. We have some good days, we have some bad days, we have some stressful days, we have some Oh my gosh. Oh wow, you guys.

[00:00:57]I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So sorry. Okay. I I used to come down here, which I first moved here. I used to take her to the water here. Um, sorry. off off the subject, but they cut the trees down over here. You should not be able to see through here, you guys.

[00:01:16]Oh my goodness, it looks so different.

[00:01:20]Oh my gosh, that was a big fish.

[00:01:23]That was a big fish. Um, that's why I said, "Oh my gosh, you guys, cuz when you come down here, you used to not be able to see that bridge over there.

[00:01:32]You not be able to see that bridge.

[00:01:33]That's where Cher used to bring Cherish over their daycare.

[00:01:36]Oh my gosh. What did they do?

[00:01:40]Where was the grass? I don't know. I don't know. Something's different over here. Okay. Something's different over here. But there was used to be like you used to not be able to see through things over here. Yeah. You used to not be able to see over there where are weird. So, you're about to see some things that you don't normally see.

[00:01:57]Okay. Something's going to change in your life um dramatically. Okay. I'm like extremely dramatic, like really fast. Okay. Uh you may start perceiving things differently as well. Okay. Um but this is the first time I've ever been able to see this whole creek like this. That's why I was like all surprised like when I walked over here cuz I've never been able to see this whole creek. Um I feel like there was like a lot of like they must have like cut something like a lot of weeds down, a lot of grass down.

[00:02:29]I don't know. It just looks totally different. I don't know. Maybe I just I'm able to see differently now. Okay, so it could be me as well. Maybe cuz that tree that tree was more fuller, but I feel like they cut down a tree. I feel like they cut some stuff down.

[00:02:44]They used to not have those yellow things over there. I feel like like you used to not be able to see through this cuz now they have this thing over a solar panel. Okay, you're about to see things differently, okay? In a different light, okay? Um something different that you never seen before.

[00:03:00]Uh, but what I was trying to say, I was trying to get out here and tell you that Gosh, you guys are just so beautiful.

[00:03:06]I'm sorry. It's just so beautiful. Look at the robins. Look at the pretty birds.

[00:03:08]I don't even know what to say. Like, this is pretty for some reason. I should have walked that way. You know what? I might actually walk back. I'm walking the long way home. I want to walk the long way home.

[00:03:25]I'm going to walk the long way. So, Okay, guys. I apologize. Like, I'm actually going to go back this way. I'm going to walk a long way home.

[00:03:32]Carmy's going to be a little bit mad because she is watching Cherish, but I'm trying to get in a very, very nice walk because I have surgery tomorrow, you guys. And I won't be able to exercise for a couple days at least. Um, sorry. I don't want to be showing over there cuz there's kids over there and I want their privacy.

[00:03:47]Oh, it's about privacy as well. You may hear kids, okay, there's a daycare center and I just don't want to show you guys them because it's they redid the wood too um for privacy of those kids.

[00:03:58]Okay.

[00:03:59]Uh, so, uh, oh, yeah. So, I was saying like, so I'm like I'm going out for a longer walk today to get my exercise in because I really need my exercise and I really need ground today. You guys, I'm going to I'm going to be honest with you guys.

[00:04:16]There's good days, there's bad days, there's shitty days, there's amazing days, wonderful days. And today has been a very, very shitty day for me. Okay? a very very down day. Okay, I will get on here and say I was living in the 3D. Okay, I was living in the lower vibration. Living in a lower vibration. Um, it started out with the morning. I woke up in a very good mood and it shifted so fast. It shifted so [ __ ] fast. Um, I said something to my husband and I had I had pre-op appointment today and I said something to my husband and uh he's like, "Can't you go by yourself?" And I'm like, "They're going to dilate my eyes." Like, I thought you want to come with me. My husband, okay, don't do not be mad at him, you guys.

[00:05:02]Okay, there's two sides of every story.

[00:05:04]Um, my husband's very loving, caring, and he really he likes to do things with me, okay? He likes to go he likes to be part of things. He likes to have date night. He likes to watch movies. He likes to spend time. He likes to, you know, he wants me to play disc with him.

[00:05:15]He wants to do all that stuff, okay?

[00:05:16]He's very compassionate, very loving, and very emotional, too. But, uh, when he gets set on his mind on certain things, uh, he gets set on it, okay? He he has one way thinking. And, um, his mind this morning was get up and go play disc golf, you guys. He's a disc golfer.

[00:05:32]He just got first place on Saturday, okay? He just got first place. And he's he's really good at disc golfing. is his sober away from um it's his sober thing, okay? He's not an, you know, being being an ex addict and stuff like that. Um this is a way of him releasing stress, him grounding, him um connect with earth and stuff like that and stuff like that, you know, like that. Um so disc golf is really good. And so he was going dis golfing and I go I go, "You're taking me to my appointment, right?" And he goes, "You go by yourself, can't you?" I go, "No, because I have to go to the mail clinic, you guys. I I have went to the mail clinic my whole life, but I don't that's not my main doctor, you guys. I have a different doctor or a different clinic I go to. But certain things I do go to mail clinic for specialists. And I'm I've seen the best I've seen one of the best eye doctors, okay, to correct my lazy eye. Okay, maybe that's why I'm seeing things differently to correct my lazy eye. I'm actually going to be having the surgery done. And right now downtown it's really it's really it's really shitty and it's really hard and it's a there's they're tearing things down. They're building things. They took the parking ramps down. You have to go really far. You have to drive really far. There's construction everywhere. If you're from Rochester, Minnesota, you're from Mayo Clinic. Like I know where May Clinic is. I know the uh the what is it called? The ramps, everything. I know how to get there. I can walk all that stuff. I used to take my clients there. I used to go there. I used to take my mom there for chemo and radiation and all that stuff. So I'm familiar. I actually worked at the mail clinic, you guys. I worked with St. Mary's mail clinic um in the past they when I was 18 17 18 I worked there. Yes, I was under 18. I was working there. Um and so I didn't My biggest thing is I didn't want to have to drive down there. I didn't have to drive. I didn't have to find parking ramp cuz it takes about 45 minutes with with construction and all that [ __ ] It takes at least like 45 minutes. And so I'm like I thought he wanted to take me and his words were his words were I want to go play disc. I won't be able to play disc for a couple weeks cuz you're going to be recovering.

[00:07:33]And it hurt my feelings. Like I'm not going to lie. It hurt my feelings. I was really hurt, mad angry.

[00:07:43]And I go, "That's fine. Just be home by 9:30 cuz my appointment's at my appointment's at 10:30, but I have to check in at 10:00." And that's it's enough time to get me there because if I don't have to park, he could drop me off at 10:00 and boom. Because they I don't know why they make you check in at [ __ ] a half hour earlier than finding out I was at 45 minutes. So they're like So my appointment was supposed to be at 10:45. It says 10:30, but check in at 10:00. [ __ ] [ __ ] 45 [ __ ] minutes. Probably because of parking, all that [ __ ] They give you enough time. And so I just be back from the disc golf at 9:30.

[00:08:14]And he he said he wasn't going to go. He went out to smoke some weed, you guys.

[00:08:16]Okay. my husband was supposed to leave or whatever and so I thought he was and I was laying back down. I was going to go back to bed for like an hour cuz I needed to sleep and I like to sleep in the morning and I couldn't fall asleep.

[00:08:28]I had anxiety. Um and I was hurt. I was upset and I'm like are you kidding me?

[00:08:32]My husband just told me like he'd rather go. He wanted to play. I'm ruining his disc off. I'm ruining his time to play because he's not going to be able recovery and like and so in my head you guys, this is where I went into 3D.

[00:08:46]Okay. So, I'm saying like some days are shitty days, some days are bad days. And I went into this 3D where I'm thinking like this is kind of hurtful. This kind of hurts me. I'm like a burden to him.

[00:08:56]Like I'm a in a way like he he'd rather play disc golf. His first priority is disc golf other than me, his wife. You know, like it it hurt. I was hurt. I was butt hurt.

[00:09:13]Honestly, but hurt. I was hurt. And so I'm like, "Fuck it." I'm like, "Okay, well, he wants to play his disc golf buff. He can play dis golf ball. I'm going to get up. I'm going to get ready.

[00:09:25]I'm going have to leave way earlier than I wanted to. I would have to leave till 9:30. I have to leave at 9:00, 9:10.

[00:09:31]I'm have to leave earlier cuz I have to find the damn [ __ ] parking thinking."

[00:09:34]So, I'm getting ready getting ready to leave. I'm like, "Where's the SUV?

[00:09:37]Where's our new vehicle?" The Kia we got, you guys, we got a new vehicle.

[00:09:41]And so, we got it together. It's ours together. And he's supposed to leave it there for me. Whatever. You know what I mean? Like he could take the other vehicle to go. And I text him. I go, "Where's I'm like, "You took the SV. You took it to play disc." I'm like, "You don't want to take me appointment. You take the car that I need to go take the the the thing." He's like, "I'm coming home. You said 9:30." He's like, "It's 9:10." I snapped, you guys. Okay. I snapped. I snapped. You guys are Colonel. You guys get to see that. See, there's a reason why I walked over here.

[00:10:13]Oh, it was a man car. It was my grandpa.

[00:10:15]Oh, there's a girl one, too. There's both. There's a boy and a girl. My grandpa and grandma and my mom.

[00:10:23]It says I got um So, uh I snapped and I said if I could just take the Fusion, I'll just take the regular car.

[00:10:35]It's our little town. We drive around on those things. Watch. We drive around the things. So, um I snap I'm like, "Well, I'll just [ __ ] take the Fusion." I was take the Fusion, which I really don't want to you guys. I got We got a new vehicle for me. Like, it's for us.

[00:10:49]It's a family vehicle, okay? It's for us, but like if we have appointments, we have things. We're supposed to be taking the, you know, and the other one was going to be the other vehicle was supposed to be for him um to work and, you know, go play disc golf and go do his things, you know. And I [ __ ] snapped because I went on like I'm not I'm not going to I'm not going to deny it. I snapped. Said anything. He's like, "I'll be home in a minute. I'll be home in a minute." I got in. I got in the fusion. I started leaving. I'm like, "Fuck it. I'm going." Like, I don't want to see him right now. Like, I went on a different frequency, okay? I went in this demonic frequency. I went on this lower vibration frequency. I'm not proud of, okay? And I know what I was doing.

[00:11:25]That's the thing is I know what I was doing. And I'm going to say I'm not 100% proud of how I was re reacting and treating him. And the reason I'm saying this is because I'm going to say some of you guys are going to go through this.

[00:11:35]Okay? Some of you guys are going through the same thing as me, okay? Um, but at least I'm looking at it. I'm taking accountability. and I know what I'm doing wrong and I like I said I I knew how I was reacting and I didn't have to react that way and I did react that way and I should not have reacted that way. Um, that is how I reacted.

[00:11:54]Snapping, saying things, taking off in the fusion, leaving without him when he was actually coming back home because I told him 9:30. It was 9:10 when I was leaving. So, he was coming home, but he's like, "You told me 9:30." And then then you try to leave at 9:10. He's like, "I had 20 more minutes to play."

[00:12:13]You know, and so miscommunication there.

[00:12:16]Me being a I'm going to say I was being a snob. I was being [ __ ] I was being stuck up. I was being stubborn, you know. Um, I was being a karmic, honestly. That was a karmic energy.

[00:12:31]And then he was and we both had it. And he actually drove home, you guys. He drove home and I He's like, "I'm going to give you right." I'm like, "Nope."

[00:12:37]And he's like, "Switch out vehicles and you could drive this." People fight over who created the earth yet do nothing about its destruction. Oh, wow. There's a reason why I walked over here. People fight over who created the earth yet do nothing about its destruction.

[00:12:55]Wow, that's a powerful message.

[00:12:59]Very powerful message, you guys. And so I have a shitty day and I went to my appointment mad, angry. I got another bad news about something else. And so what I'm trying to say is there's going to be some [ __ ] bad days and some good days, you guys. And some days you may act like a [ __ ] honestly or act stubborn or stuck up. And we're still me and me and my husband are still not talking right now. Um he wants me to apologize and I won't apologize for feeling hurt cuz I do I feel hurt you guys. I'm not going to lie. I do feel really hurt. Um I guess how can I say this? My hurt that I feel is I felt like I wasn't wanted or like wasn't as important as his disc golf. Okay. Cuz he chose that and he was mad about that.

[00:13:46]And then he said, "What hurt me the most, you guys, is when he said he won't be able to play for the next two weeks at least." And I said, "A week to two weeks because I'm going to be in recovery and he's going to have to, you know, take care of church, but he's going to still be able to play. How is he not going to be able to play?" Like, I'm going to be in recovery. Cherish goes to school Monday to Thursday in the morning. He can go play in the morning.

[00:14:07]Like, you mean? How is he not going to be able to play still? Um, and at night time he works. Carmy's going to be watching her. And if he doesn't work, it's nice how he can take her with, which he usually has. So, I don't know why he said that. And by him saying that, that's what kind of that one little thing he said triggered me, provoked me, and it it turned for the worst. Okay, turned for the worst. I snapped.

[00:14:32]I overreacted.

[00:14:33]It's crazy cuz I put a reading out, don't overreact. Don't do it. You know what I mean? Like, don't do it. Pro me.

[00:14:38]Spirit was telling me not to [ __ ] do it. Don't do it. And I sure did it.

[00:14:42]Um, I told him I will apologize for, you know, overreacting, but I will not apologize for feeling hurt, feeling unwanted. Um, feeling like his disc golf, and I kept saying that over and over. I felt like his disc golf was more important than me and my surgery. And this is not a major surgery, guys. This is a very simple basic surgery. It's not that much. But for me, I have a lot of anxiety. And I've t like I release a lot of anxiety. But my anxiety, you guys, is the IV. I'm not afraid of surgery. I'm not afraid of dying in surgery. I'm not afraid of going blind. I'm not afraid that it's not going to work out. My anxiety is the IV going in my [ __ ] hand to put me to sleep. Okay, the needles. I I hate needles. I hate IVs.

[00:15:30]They always [ __ ] up. They always poke me in the wrong damn spot. And they had to do it again. And then I'm bruised up.

[00:15:36]And then when I wake up, my eyes are going to be bleeding tears. Blood coming out of my eyes. Okay, your eye your tears are blood because it's your blood vessels and stuff in the muscles. And my eyes will be [ __ ] bloodshot for he said at least a week. And like and to be honest you guys, what else?

[00:15:55]I'm going to tear up actually probably tear up. The other thing that scares me like kind of like I don't live it's not and this is not fear because it's not fear. What is kind of scaring me and give me anxiety is I'm 40 years old, you guys.

[00:16:10]And all these years as being growing up being a four-year-old woman, I've had a lazy eye, my left lazy eye. And that's how I have perceived to seeing things.

[00:16:25]Um, how I look at things, it's always been lazy.

[00:16:30]And I always am able to see to the left.

[00:16:32]mind goes outward, not inward. And so when I don't know, I don't know what it is like to look out of two eyes in alignment and seeing straight forward, you guys. I don't know what it's like.

[00:16:47]It's It's going to be unfamiliar to me.

[00:16:50]And so it kind of scares me while I'm crying.

[00:16:56]anxiety and stuff because how I see things I see with my right eye straight and my left eye is goes left and so it's going to be different cuz all I've ever known was having a lazy eye but I need to correct it.

[00:17:13]My insurance covers it right now.

[00:17:17]And if I don't correct it now, as I get older later on in life, it could go blind or it could actually tear my tear my muscles in my right eye because my right eye is always using it's it cuz my cuz left eye is lazy that my right eye is always overworking it and looking through everything which then cause some kind of torsion and tear in my right which then I could have some difficulties with my right eye and so It's better. Like I should have had the surgery done when I was a child, but back then it wasn't safe.

[00:17:51]And as you get older, like it started getting better and better and like I just never really thought about it. And like just recently I'm like I I think I need to get this done.

[00:18:03]And it's weird because I don't know.

[00:18:07]I'm going to feel like I'm a different person because of it and I'm going to see things differently.

[00:18:13]And it also too is 99% chance it works, but your brain still like what happens is your brain still doesn't your brain still functions is that you can't see. So both my eyes might be straight in alignment like in a camera or taking pictures of it. They both may be straight but I may not be able to see straight. My eyes still may be seeing over to the left because my brain is still functioning that because your my brain doesn't know how to read and your or your brain is the one that controls that stuff. So even if it if it even if it does work, the fact is that my brain, my mind can still say, "Hey, I want it to be lazy. I want it I want it to not be in alignment." And I don't think that's going to be the case. It's just going to mean I I feel like my brain it's just going to be really hard. It's going to be really hard because I've never had two straight eyes. I've never been able to see out of my eye out of out the same as you guys. I got to turn around.

[00:19:09]This medication I have cannot get cold.

[00:19:11]cannot get hot. I'm really far away from my home, you guys. But I wanted to tell that. Um, and so it's causing me a lot of anxiety and I think that and like that's what Mike was saying. Mike saying that I'm treating him like [ __ ] because I have this anxiety and because I'm getting ready for this and I'm I'm working myself up and I possibly am. And this could be something like I'm the reason I'm talking about this. This could be happening to some of you guys, okay? You may work yourself up. you may start, you know, overreacting, doing things like that because things and and I and I've asked you guys, I'm not gonna I I've been praying I've been praying praying asking God to help me. Oh, you guys are going to see it's going to be put together. I lo it I my phone storage. It was full.

[00:19:58]It was full. So, I don't even know where I left off and stuff. But, I was just talking about I don't know what it's like to look straight, both eyes straight like you guys. Okay? I don't know what it's like. I don't know what it feels like. What I was saying is right now I'm going to miss it because right now when I'm looking forward right now I can see with my right eye but I can't see from my right side. But with my left I can see everything on the left with my left eye over here. Like when I'm standing going straight, my left eye is pointing over here. I can see everything. When I'm going straight I can't see right over here. And so like it's going to be different. It's going to be it's going to be hard. So it's causing me a lot of anxiety. I'm a lot of anxiety and stress. And I I'm afraid I guess I'm afraid of like being able to see out of both eyes and seeing both straight like everybody else. like I being normal like everybody else. Right now I'm not normal like everybody else.

[00:20:39]I'm kind of a little bit unique and like for the longest time I said I wasn't going to do the surgery because I want to be unique. I want to be different and I wanted um I was created this way by God. But in the future, you know, it could it could it could be worse on me and I could be actually go blind in the future. And so I do believe that God create you know God brought really really good doctors in this world like for a reason. Okay like he created everything and one thing is you know making some specialist doctors and stuff to be able to fix things like that and you know living on this earth um to experience that stuff everything. So for the longest time I'm like okay you know I got to stay this way because this is how I was created. This is how God wanted me to be. But then like why would God make all this medicine and they have these surgeries and do this and do that if we weren't supposed to have that? So I see both things and would I want to be blind when I get older or do I want to correct it now and be able to see? You know what I mean? Or even have the ability to see, you know, before it gets worse. And so then there's other people like trying to make me have more fear about, oh my gosh, aren't you afraid to go blind? You're going to go blind. If I go blind, you guys, I go blind. That's that's what God wants for me then. I'm not that's not what I'm afraid of at all. Okay. I'm not I'm more afraid of seeing out of two eyes and like everybody else and being normal and it'll be weird cuz people won't be picking on me anymore. You guys the same car I used to have.

[00:22:14]This is the car that my husband actually crashed. Um we had the moon all decked out but that's the car that my husband crashed. me and him were and that I was paralyzed um where I had the spinal fusion um from being paralyzed. He tore that car out. I should go show you pictures of it sometime. And uh so like that's not you know and this girl she keeps going why why do you you're not scared like no I've had so many surgery. She's like she's like how can you be so optimistic?

[00:22:43]How can you be so positive? I'm like because if if if anything bad supposed to happen it's supposed to happen. I'm like I trust that everything happens for a reason. But I'm still also a human being and I can have emotions. I can have feelings. I can, you know, have anxiety and be worried and stressed a little bit at the same time. And I could have a shitty day and a good day. And that's why I'm out here grounding and walking you guys because as I said, I'm having a shitty day. I feel a bit better walking.

[00:23:09]And me and my husband are still not talking.

[00:23:13]He's trying to text me when he's at work. He's trying to talk to me. He's telling me to get over it. Well, you know, when us girls were stubborn and we're in one mind, one mindset, we don't want to we don't want to let go that. So, I'm so like in this 3D energy right now.

[00:23:30]Hold on. Okay. I wanted to respect her.

[00:23:33]She was sitting in her vehicle. I didn't want to show her. I I like to have people have privacy. Um, so yeah. So, I just had to talk about that, you guys. I had to share that. And just know that I'm human. You guys are human. You guys have emotions. I hope you guys can feel that way and if you guys went through a lot like something about this change, you're going to see things differently. You're experiencing things differently. And I had some other bad news today, too. Um, it's not the worst news, but it's some bad news.

[00:24:00]Like, I had I've had a couple things, you guys. I've everything's being thrown at me all at once. My grand I found out my grandma has lung cancer.

[00:24:09]Um, my mom died from lung cancer. My grandpa died from lung cancer. My grandma has it. Um, so I found that out.

[00:24:16]uh found out that we are unable to purchase something we want to purchase because I still don't make we still don't make enough cuz we're talking about buying a house and we still would not be able to afford it and so that's you know getting bats and bats and news and stuff like that. So it sucks ass sometimes and so today's just been a shitty day but I know tomorrow's going to be a fresh new day. I'm going to have be able to see a different view like that. Hold on. So, yeah. So, and you guys hear me on my videos. I'm always happy. Everything is well.

[00:24:54]There's good things happening, too. It's a very beautiful day out today. Like, I'm walking and getting my X-ray in. But you guys, people have human. You're human.

[00:25:05]I'm a hybrid. Honestly, we're hybrids.

[00:25:08]We're human. We're living in human form, okay, on this planet on Earth, but we don't originate from here. And so trying to fit in and to live in this 3D world of time and money in a program, it can be difficult.

[00:25:35]But as my soul sister said, get out there and ground. Tomorrow's a new day.

[00:25:41]Tomorrow I'm going to see what a new new way of life. I guess be seen differently tomorrow.

[00:25:51]And I feel like, you know, this is this is the devil. I'm going to say this is the devil trying to pull me down, okay?

[00:25:58]Is going to try to pull me down, try to make me lose faith with God. But the whole time I've been just praying, asking God to guide me and help me through this.

[00:26:07]So, um, that's all I keep asking. I'm just keep asking God to get me through this. Even though the devil's trying to pull me away and try to cause this anxiety in my life, cuz that's what the devil does. The devil causes anxiety. I know that the devil's inside me. I know God's inside me. I know both are inside me. And I know that God's always stronger than the devil. So, yeah.

[00:26:28]So, I'm sitting here right now, you guys, and I kept saying, "Wait, wait, wait."

[00:26:34]And when it's saying, "Wait, you got to be patient, okay? Good things will come. Good things will come sooner than you think, okay? Even after all these hurdles, these roadblocks. I just heard hurdles and roadblocks, after all the waiting, something will come in very nice." Okay? It will be just for you is what I'm hearing. Okay?

[00:26:57]So, don't give up. Don't give up if you've been waiting for something.

[00:27:02]You're waiting because God has a plan is what I just heard. Okay? God has a plan for you. God has a plan for me.

[00:27:08]Everything's going to work out. You're meant to, you know, there's a lot of times that you cannot see things before it's meant to happen. Okay? And that's why I was hearing it's like, I'm not able to see some of the stuff right now either. But God's going to open things up. He's going to open doorways up for you. do is open doorways up for me. It's just we have to be patient. We have to keep uh keep our faith and trust in him.

[00:27:33]And you will see. You will see guys.

[00:27:39]I just heard the shift is just right around the corner. Okay. This your shifting change is just around there's a song. It changes just right around the corner.

[00:27:53]You've been waiting for a very long time. I Okay, I just I just I thought I just saw a snail with the green thing over there. I thought I saw a snail.

[00:28:01]And what I just heard is cuz snails, they're slow. Things are moving slowly.

[00:28:07]Like snail energy very, very slowly, but it doesn't mean it's not going to manifest. It doesn't mean it's not going to come in for you, okay? It's just God wants you to have what you are meant to have, but it can't be rushed. I just heard it cannot be rushed.

[00:28:21]Okay? Hey, it has to be the right time, right place. Don't rush it. I got to apologize to Mike to to I got to own up to my [ __ ] Take accountability. I always I always I always motivate you guys and I always like give out guidance and stuff and I got to take my own advice. I need to suck it up, buttercup.

[00:28:44]I need to take accountability. I need to own up to how I treated him disrespectfully even though I was hurt.

[00:28:50]I'm not gonna I you guys, I'm hurt. I'm still hurt. I'm still hurt, but I'm going to let it go. I'm going to release it. I like I'm still hurt. I still I still feel like he thinks about disc golf more than me and more than his family, like in his mind. Like I said at the beginning, when he set on something, he set on it. And so he was set on his idea was this morning was to go play disc golf. And then I ruined that by saying, "Are you bringing my appointment?" And then that offset him and then offset me. And then it just made us both have a shitty day cuz he had a shitty day. ID. We're both and the whole time I'm going to tell you. He has been trying to talk to me. He has been trying to work it out. He's been trying to communicate with me. How girls like to do that. And you know how guys or guys don't want to talk about it and they just like, "Okay, whatever.

[00:29:34]Whatever." Well, with him, he's trying to work it out. He's trying to communicate. He wants to like fix the problem. He wants to like, you know, communicate and get over this. I'm over here like, "I don't [ __ ] care. Don't talk to me. We can be over. we can we we can move separate ways. You can go that way. I go this way. I don't need you.

[00:29:52]Like, you know what I mean? And he's like, you know, and that really hurts him, you know? So, I'm hurting him as well because it's like I don't need him.

[00:29:59]Don't want him. And then that hurts him.

[00:30:01]And so, I'm not like a lot of girls. I'm not the one be like, "Oh, let's make this thing all fixed better and everything well and all that stuff we got to work on." No.

[00:30:14]I'm more like I don't really care. I can do me. I can't I don't need to rely on anybody. I haven't relied on anybody except for God for my whole entire life.

[00:30:21]Like, why am I going to start relying on people now? He's over here like, "No, we need to work on this. We need to fix this. We don't need to be treating this treating each other this way." That's what he' been saying. I could show you guys my techniques. He could say some mean things to me, too. But, um, he's more like, "We need to work on this. We need to figure this out." He's like, "You're being really rude, really mean to me." He's like, "I want to be there for you. I want to take your appointments." He's like, "I just I was wanting to play disc like, you know, so relationships can be hard."

[00:30:51]So, honestly, it was both of us. I really feel like we both were in the wrong. He was in the wrong about certain things. I was in the wrong about certain things.

[00:31:00]God's still working with us. That's all I got to say. God is still working with us. He's working with me. He's working with him. Okay? He's still working on relationship. I do feel like sometimes we do need relationship therapy, relationship counseling, whatever, marriage counseling.

[00:31:17]Um, and I don't think there's nothing wrong with marriage counseling.

[00:31:21]So, yeah, I'm just walking down. This is my downtown, you guys. I don't ever take you guys downtown, do I? Nope. It's always noisy. It's too loud to do messages downtown.

[00:31:41]Um, this is my You guys, that's where I get my massages done. If you ever come here, the massage therapy.

[00:31:47]Okay, that's where I got my massages done.

[00:31:52]Oh, and Cherish's dance was just on the street. We just actually passed it. Her dance where she goes dance. That's where Mike worked. Dell's Cafe. That's where he works when he got out of um prison.

[00:32:03]They gave him a job and now he's not working there no more. Um, they wanted to give him a minimum wage. They wanted to give him 10 bucks an hour for cooking, for cooking. So, they gave him 10 bucks an hour for cooking and he was working all the time. So, he actually got a better job. Uh, so yeah, he he works at another restaurant um where Cher used to go to daycare. She stopped doing daycare and open up a restaurant and hired Mike right on the spot because she's like, I want Mike. So, yeah. I will show you guys a couple other things while I'm talking to you guys. You guys see my little life. This is where we have to do laundry. Yes, I got to do my my clothes to laundry mat, which is not fun. But that's our laundry mat.

[00:32:44]So, that's the elementary school down there. I'm not going to show too much of that cuz I don't need to know. Uh my salon, my hair salon is over there.

[00:32:54]The library.

[00:32:56]My church goes every other week or weekly sometimes. Right there. Oh, the massage therapy is also where I sell my products, you guys. So, that's where I put my um my crystals and my oils and stuff like that. My candles are in the massage therapy. Okay. Um so, that's my hair salon right there where I get my hair done. Here's little antique. I've never been in there, guys. I haven't went in there yet cuz it's never open when I walk by the vintage place. See, it's always closed when I walk by. Um there's my bait, I think. Uh, hold on.

[00:33:35]My allergies are acting up, you guys.

[00:33:36]I'm sniffling.

[00:33:39]I was still like this. I didn't do my allergy medicine today.

[00:33:42]Um, this one's Yes. My kids is Yes. Just golf. So, it's block. My friend works there.

[00:33:52]So, they have this blessed healing.

[00:33:55]Never been there. It's something like mine. There's my chiropractor when I went there. Cherish's chiropractor.

[00:33:59]mine. Um, and then Saint Nutrition right there. That's what I was trying to show you. So, if you see me posting about Saints Nutrition and that's the bakery that that is where my products are. A lot of my stuff, all my stuff's in there at Saints Nutrition. There's my post office where I ship out the stuff. So, if you are ever in town in St. Charles, you go to Saints Nutrition and that is where my candles, body butters, wax melts, oils. I don't have the jewelry in there. I should probably put my jewelry in there. But all that stuff, everything I make is over there in that store or that nutrition. Okay.

[00:34:36]She her name is Lauren and she makes shakes, coffees, and loaded teas. And she also has her mom and sister stuff in there. And they crochet and they make all this crocheting stuff. So yeah, if you're ever here in our little smaller town, go over there, get a shake, get a loyalty.

[00:35:01]I like their coffee, but their their coffees, whatever. And yeah, and then little thrift store. That's really cute little thrift store. Um there's a dollar store that Cherish likes to go every day almost with my grandpa.

[00:35:17]and then a little gas station because now you guys probably know where I'm at.

[00:35:20]If you guys been on my walks with me before, I don't usually walk this way. I walk the other way, but I had to go to the pharmacy to get my medicine. And so you guys probably see now where I'm heading to cuz this is a railroad track that I'm always walking. But I'm always walking. When I'm walking, I'm always going east or east or west. I'm not ever going south or north. And today I went north.

[00:35:44]Oh, look at the dirt bike. I don't kind of want them on there. Isn't that cool?

[00:35:48]When you live in a small town, you guys, you guys can ride your dirt bikes. And look, he's riding right there. But you see, this is the bike path. You I'm always walking the grocery store.

[00:35:59]So you guys never see me walking the way this way. I'm always going the opposite way.

[00:36:06]I'm always going that way or that way.

[00:36:15]But yeah, okay. I already feel a lot better being grounded, transmitting my negative energy.

[00:36:24]Positive energy. I love you guys. I'm going to let you guys go cuz you guys already I'm almost home. Love you guys.

[00:36:29]Love peace. Bye. I'm say