A MAN WHO HATES HIMSELF WILL PUNISH YOU FOR LOVING HIM ; MISERABLE MEN DESTROY GOOD WOMEN‼️

Added: 2026-06-10

[00:00:00]I also think like a man who hates himself is going to hate you or resent you. One for loving him cuz he doesn't quite understand why you love him when he hates himself.

[00:00:10]>> Mhm.

[00:00:11]>> I once heard someone say that when a man hates himself, he going to make you pay for loving him.

[00:00:18]>> I recently learned that if a man is unhappy with himself, he'll project that onto any woman who tries to love him and destroy her peace because he can't find his own.

[00:00:28]Damn.

[00:00:29]>> Is it true that a man who hates himself would definitely punish you for loving him?

[00:00:36]Have you ever been in a situation or in a relationship whereby your partner hates their selves and therefore they're putting the hate towards you instead of them healing or letting you go, they're putting the blame towards you. So guys, today's video we're going to be talking about hate. How true is that? Let's find out.

[00:01:04]>> A man he cannot love and respect you if he doesn't love and respect himself.

[00:01:13]He may show you acts of kindness during the course of the relationship but he cannot give you what he doesn't have.

[00:01:23]He will pretend to love and respect you but the thing about pretending is this.

[00:01:30]>> [music] >> It becomes exhausting because it requires work.

[00:01:37]So when he becomes exhausted with you he is going to show you exactly how he feels about you.

[00:01:47]So the best advice I can give a woman today is this.

[00:01:54]Watch to see if he loves and respects himself.

[00:02:01]>> A man that doesn't love himself is always going to punish you for loving him.

[00:02:08]This has been one of the things that I've struggled with my whole life. It's thinking that I can change men that don't love themselves.

[00:02:17]That the more love I show them, that the more I prove to them that or try to prove to them that they're worthy of love, the more they destroy me.

[00:02:27]The more that they start to make me feel that I'm not deserving of love.

[00:02:31]The more that they bring me down with them. If a man is down, he's going to bring you down with him. I promise you.

[00:02:38]I spent so many years just thinking that I could help somebody and fix them and all it did was literally destroy me.

[00:02:50]A man is literally going to punish you for loving him.

[00:02:54]That doesn't love himself.

[00:02:55]Run. Like actually run the other way cuz you're going to leave that relationship not loving yourself anymore. Cuz when I met that man, I loved myself. And I left literally completely broken.

[00:03:07]>> I'm not saying this to be like delusional, but a lot of guys won't like you back because they hate them. And like you'll be like, "But it was such a perfect weekend. It was such a perfect day." And they just hate themselves that love feels weird to them and when they feel something so like wholesome and sweet, it feels so weird to them that they just leave. Like they leave. And like they'll always come back cuz they'll be like, "You know what? I actually did like but I just hated myself." And most likely they have like a lot of achievements, they have a lot of like success in life because they're hiding the feeling of hating themselves.

[00:03:37]And they feel so unworthy of love that that's why they have all these great accomplishments or they try to accomplish so much in life is because they hate themselves and they feel unworthy of just living life. Which is fine to some degree but a lot of them are just so avoidant that they literally don't feel worthy of love, so they'll always self-sabotage it, too. They'll be like, "Mhm, she wasn't the one." She could be so perfect, but she'll be like, "Mhm, you know, something was off."

[00:04:02]Yeah, it's that you hate yourself.

[00:04:04]>> I'm telling you that man hate himself. I know the way he acts towards you, how he disrespect you, call you out your name, he embarrass you in front of the kids, he try to embarrass you on social media, he try to compare you to the side chick, he try to make it seem like his last relationship was the best. I know that he's got you believing ALL OF THAT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE GAG IS? THE GAG is he actually hates himself and he takes it out on you. See, unhealed men going always try to find themselves a punching bag, whether it's physically, literally, emotionally, spiritually, financially.

[00:04:36]Their hatred is so deep THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO FEEL INSECURE BY THEMSELVES.

[00:04:40]THAT'S WHY THEY CALL you insecure. It's not because they cheated. No, no, no, NO, NO. YOU'RE NOT INSECURE BECAUSE HE BETRAYED YOUR TRUST AND you caught him on dating sites AND YOU CAUGHT HIM TALKING TO HIS COWORKER. IT'S NOT THAT'S not why you're insecure. There's no way.

[00:04:54]THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE INSECURE BECAUSE OF HIS ACTIONS. He going to try to make it seem like you're insecure because you got low self-esteem. First of all, he ain't even He ain't even all of that answer to even be having low self-esteem about. But see, a unhealed man, he's going to always try to manipulate the situation and he's going to make his problems your problems. His insecurity is your insecurity. His drama is YOUR DRAMA. HIS LACK OF SELF-WORTH, HE going to say you ain't got no self-worth. HE SO INSECURE ABOUT HIMSELF, THE ONLY THING he knows how to do because he's so toxic is to blame you.

[00:05:26]The only thing he knows how to do is to deflect on you. The only thing he knows how to do is say it's you. It's you.

[00:05:32]It's you. It's never him. He's Prince Charming. He's a king. I would never I'm I'm way confident. YOU KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN want me? First of all, it ain't even that many women that want him in real life. And unfortunately, the side piece is getting checked, but she going to find out. But for the sake of this video, over here, when we heal, let me go ahead and set you free, ladies. I'm not saying that you're perfect, but guess what? You're not the problem.

[00:05:54]>> He who hates himself will punish you for loving him. And if you just pay attention to what's going on in this situation, you will you will This is real life. This is This man basically punishes women for loving him. She didn't say Mila, be quiet. She didn't say she going to stand 10 toes down, you know what I'm saying? He didn't took it through hell, beating her ass, not parenting correctly on either side. And this And I'm only using that situation because it's That's what's going on right now, but you are physically watching a man punish a woman in a way because he is not happy within himself.

[00:06:31]Like, y'all really got to watch that [ __ ] because the man that I'm with or the men that I've been with after my baby daddy, I don't feel like they punishing me. Like they're they're adding to my life. Like they're helping me um financially, like paying for my school and, you know what I'm saying?

[00:06:49]Just doing little things that I don't even have to ask for. So, yes, I agree, a man who's not happy within himself will punish you for loving him because he knows that you love him more than he loves himself.

[00:07:01]Clock that tea.

[00:07:02]>> If a man hates himself, he will hate you for trying to love him. That's why I be telling all the lover girls, stay clear of miserable men. I had this ex, right?

[00:07:11]And he would always complain about [ __ ] When I say always complain about [ __ ] that was really But then when I give him like an example or a [ __ ] plan to fix whatever it was he was complaining about, he would get mad, not take the advice because it was coming from me.

[00:07:26]But let somebody else say the same exact thing and let it be a man. Oh, he's going to act like that man that told him something so grand. And I'll be like, "But didn't I tell you that like 3 months ago?" He used to be like, "Oh, I got all of these kids and they're it's just so much. Like they cost so much and yada yada yada." So, I used to say, "You need to go and be a truck driver. You need to get on the road. You don't have time to be sitting working no regular job. You don't have the amount of kids to work no regular job." "Oh, you just want me to be like that other [ __ ] that you [ __ ] with. I'm not no truck driver [ __ ] They're all gay. They be [ __ ] with prostitutes. Yada yada yada." We break up, he go and get his CDL. They start trying to take your lingo and your intelligence and run with it like it's something they've been saying. They start trying to do all of the things that you told them to do and make it seem like that's just what they were going to do. It just be a funny watch to be real. Very comical. But, yeah, I always tell women, you can think that you can uplift a man that don't love himself by trying to give him your all and he's going to do nothing but bring you to his level. That's why I date with intent now in my 30s. I don't even play no games cuz my 20s was full of mistakes and a man can't be another mistake that I make. You hear me? An unhealed man is hateful towards you because he hate himself. See, I know it's hard for you to believe cuz you don't operate like that. But, one thing about an unhealed man is he will always aggress you. He will always be mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually abusive. He will literally make you question, "Do you even like me for real?" You will be You will be convinced that this man hates you. But, that's because the inner turmoil that he is feeling for the hatred of himself. And let me tell you why he hates himself cuz it's not in the way that you think. First of all, he hates himself because he realizes you're stronger than him. He begins to hate himself because he realized you're more of a man, if I can say that, than him.

[00:09:09]You're more responsible than him. You are the You're more of the protector than him. You make the household feel safe more than him. You know how to move the agenda and keep the relationship healthy going more than him. He He hates you because you communicate. He hates you because you're transparent about your feelings. Watch this. He hates the fact that you know how to articulate and tell him what he's doing wrong. He hates the fact that you even hold him accountable. See, a lot of the times, it don't always look the same. A man will project his hatred on you is because he's jealous of you, of all the characteristics that you house that he know he don't have. But, over here on the healing side, we don't want to sit back and focus on and take the blame for how he feels about himself. He don't hate you, baby. He hate himself, and it shows.

[00:09:57]>> A man who hates himself will punish you for loving him.

[00:10:02]I don't remember where I saw that quote, but it is so fuck- actually spot on and psychologically true. Your love exposes the lie they live in. If someone deep down believes, "I'm not good enough. I'm broken. I don't deserve love." Then your love contradicts their identity. Instead of thinking, "Maybe I am worthy." Their nervous system goes, "This is dangerous.

[00:10:22]This person sees something in me that I can't live up to." So, they try to destroy the mirror. Not consciously, defensively. They confuse love with danger, and you cannot love someone into self-worth. Love doesn't heal self-hatred, it reveals it. In so many ways. I'll do a part two.

[00:10:42]>> Someone said a person that hates themselves will punish you for loving them. And that's some real [ __ ] bro.

[00:10:47]Like, I'm not going to lie, there was a point in time in my life where I really didn't love myself, [music] and I genuinely would break this person down so much to the point where I would get them [music] to start disliking themselves or lose themselves because of how much I was hurting them, how much I was breaking their freaking heart, bro, their soul. And it's like, I really genuinely had to sit [music] back and just think like, bro, like, what am I doing here? What am I doing? Like, I don't deserve this person, and [music] I need to really find out what's the root of this problem. And it was because I genuinely did not love myself enough, bro. I did not love myself to be able to hold on to somebody that could be good for me, that [music] was good for me.

[00:11:19]Like, it's it's like a self-sabotage mechanism that you have in your head.

[00:11:22]You find this person that does almost everything right, treats [music] you right, does everything that you ask of them, is there for you, bro, does a lot of things right. You you're scared of love, like you're scared of love, you're scared of accepting it, You're scared of [music] just indulging in it because you think it's fake. A little part A little part of your of your brain [music] is telling you, "Bro, this [ __ ] is fake.

[00:11:38]Nah, bro, this this person is a snake."

[00:11:40]That's because you don't love yourself enough to just trust that somebody truly loves you. So, you think that you automatically just have to be on defense. This mechanism your brain is telling you, "Bro, we got to run. We got to run because this person is going to hurt us and it's going to hurt bad."

[00:11:51]That's why you do what you do. In order for somebody to love you truly or for yourself to even allow that person to love you, you need to love yourself. You need to start catering to yourself first. Like in a a relationship with yourself is way more important than a relationship with anybody else. Yourself and God.

[00:12:06]But even then, even before you even really have a relationship with God, bro, you still got to sit there and think like, "Dang, like is having a relationship with God even worth it for myself?" Yes, it is. And you need to care about yourself. You need to love yourself. That's very important, bro.

[00:12:18]>> A man who hates himself will punish you for loving him.

[00:12:21]And it won't be loud or even all that once, just in these small ways that make you tilt your head every once in a while [music] and wonder if there's something so wrong with you that you can't see.

[00:12:31]And it will make you sad more than anything. Oh, it will break your heart and you'll find yourself asking, "Why can't you just see yourself how I [music] do?"

[00:12:40]You'll try everything in your power to hold up a mirror. You'll polish it and angle it gently, stand behind it so he doesn't feel as exposed. You'll point out the good like it's a secret that only you know.

[00:12:50]But he won't look.

[00:12:51]And so you'll start compensating and breathing deeper so he doesn't have to and carrying weight that isn't yours because you are already standing and sometimes you love someone so much that you don't care if your arms and knees are weak. You find a way forward and you'll start scanning yourself for the flaw that explains all of it and you'll try to fix and heal and fill all the holes that were never dug by you, but instead you will bury yourself in them.

[00:13:16]You tell yourself that love is labor and that patience is proof and that if you give yourself enough something in him [music] will finally rest and he will finally see it.

[00:13:24]But he won't.

[00:13:26]Because someone who doesn't feel deserving of love will make love feel undeserving.

[00:13:32]A man who hates himself does not know how to be chosen, only how to be endured.

[00:13:38]>> So, I saw a video and this person said a person who hates themselves will punish you for loving them.

[00:13:43]And I said, "You know what? That is the perfect time to talk about this. Let's have this discussion, okay?"

[00:13:48]Let's unpack what that really means, okay? Because a person who hates themselves feels unworthy of love.

[00:13:53]They don't trust good things or good people. And they sabotage anything that challenges their own inner thought about being unlovable and broken.

[00:14:03]So, then what happens? You meet this person, right? You you get to vibing with this person. And then you start to love them.

[00:14:09]Bad idea. Because of that person because you love them now, they now feel exposed. They are confused because they don't know why they're deserving this type of treatment from somebody. And then the most important one of all, they'll feel like you'll see the real them and they'll bounce.

[00:14:24]Now, let's get into the punishment side of it, okay?

[00:14:26]Now, one of the punishments you'll get for loving somebody who doesn't love themselves is they'll push you away.

[00:14:32]They'll ghost you. They'll constantly break up with you.

[00:14:35]They'll become emotionally distant talking about they're protecting themselves or protecting you.

[00:14:41]Then they'll follow it up with punishment number two, creating chaos.

[00:14:44]They start picking fights. They start overreacting over the smallest things or they'll tell you you're overreacting about the smallest thing. And then they'll start accusing you of things because they're suspicious.

[00:14:55]You can be all as honest as you want to be with them. You can be 1,000% upfront all of the time and they'll always accuse you of being suspicious. And they'll start telling you that you're being weird or acting funny.

[00:15:05]Punishment number three, they will constantly test your loyalty.

[00:15:09]They will constantly test your love for them consistently. It'll be like, "If I go this far, would you still love me?"

[00:15:15]Think about 50 Cent's 21 Questions on steroids.

[00:15:19]And that, my friends, is not somebody who loves you or themselves.

[00:15:24]That is a trauma response.

[00:15:27]Punishment number four, they will always downplay the love you have for them.

[00:15:33]And to no fault of their own, it's just that they don't see themselves being worthy of the type of love that you're providing for them. You can sit there and tell them, I love you.

[00:15:41]And how they'll respond is with sarcasm or with some type of deflection.

[00:15:46]And then you'll follow up with the question, I don't know why you love me.

[00:15:48]Why do you love me? Why do you love somebody like me?

[00:15:52]And mainly that's because they don't know how to receive it.

[00:15:56]They've never had anyone tell them they love them without some type of hidden agenda, without some type of transaction taking place. It could be sexual, could be financial, could be I do this for you and if you don't, you don't love me.

[00:16:07]That's probably why they're sabotaging and they're questioning everything that you say every time you say you love them. Which leads me to punishment number five, they self-sabotage.

[00:16:15]They start to mess stuff up on purpose just to say, aha, I told you so. I knew you didn't love me the way that you said you love me. They'll do everything they can to validate that negative connotation that they have about themselves, about you and about love.

[00:16:29]And unfortunately, it does not get better without doing the work. It doesn't. It just doesn't get better without You can't love somebody past their own thoughts. You can't trick somebody into loving themselves, you can't love somebody into loving themselves. If you're dealing with this type of person, the best thing you can do for yourself is just remove your access. Because if not, they will continue to punish you. They'll punish your patience, they'll punish your love, they'll punish your consistency, they'll punish everything about you that makes them uncomfortable. And then, my friends, it's not love. If that person tells you they love you, they're lying.

[00:16:58]That is a war zone. You are not anybody's emotional punching bag. Your love becomes something that they truly resent because they can't give it to themselves.

[00:17:08]And because somebody can't give something to themselves, that means they can't give it to you.

[00:17:14]>> Welcome to Just Sit For Therapy. Welcome you get a help to face your situation?

[00:17:21]If you hate yourself, why are you putting the pain and the frustration on someone that truly love you? Someone that love you with all their hearts.

[00:17:33]Why can't you just seek for help? Like it pains me so much that most of them know that they hate theirself. But instead of them to seek for help, go to therapy, they will lash on their partner. They will start treating their partner bad. And when the outside are noticed that type of relationship, most of the time they will think the woman is the problem. Not knowing that is the man that is the problem because he hate himself.

[00:18:04]He don't like the way he don't It dislike the way you love him.

[00:18:08]The In fact, the way you smile.

[00:18:11]Because all his life is full of hate.

[00:18:14]How can you deal with somebody like that? Simple, you can't.

[00:18:19]You can't. You just have to take your bag and leave that relationship. If not, it's going to make you wish you never met him.

[00:18:28]It's going to make you hate yourself.

[00:18:30]And you are going to feel so annoyed.

[00:18:33]You are going to get frustrated. You are going to be broken because you will be asking yourself, what did I do wrong? Is it me? Am I the problem? No, sweetheart.

[00:18:45]You are not the problem. He or she is the problem because they do not love theirself. They hate theirself. And the type of love you are giving them is scary to them.

[00:19:00]It's scary because they've not experienced such pure and beautiful love. So, they are scared.

[00:19:09]And in that process of them being scared, they try to break you. They try to seal your lips so you don't smile. So, if you are in that type of relationship, you see you try your best, you've done all the things to make that certain person happy, and he's not happy, just you just have to leave that relationship for your sanity, for your mental health.

[00:19:39]Okay, guys. That is all for this video.

[00:19:41]I hope you love and I hope you enjoy this video. Leave your comments in the comment section. Tell me if you have been in such a relationship. How do you cope? Did you leave? Did you stay? We'd love to hear about it. Put it down in the comment section. And also, don't forget to like. And please, if you are new, don't forget to subscribe. I'll see you guys in my next video.

[00:20:01]Bye, y'all.