chinese zz top - Bits and Banter [05/28/2026]

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]Nihow. Nihow to you as well. You guys working on your tone sandi. Did you know even though Niha is like two tone threes, it's actually more like a tone two into a tone three. Pissing me the [ __ ] off, man. I can't read that. I can't read those characters. I can only read like eight characters, man. That said, sensei. I don't know. Sensei.

[00:00:23]Ending my friendship with uh Sensei.

[00:00:26]Starting my friendship with Lao. Sure.

[00:00:30]Chad, give me a second here.

[00:00:42]My fluent king. We're getting there bit by bit, man.

[00:00:48]Wong, you are my online friend. A say nihow to po mad dude I could probably I'm at the point I could understand that one line in Scarface if I watch Scarface in Chinese me watching this like 2 hour and 40 minute long movie Corey >> nihow ni She show >> I have my I have my >> How about How about this? I'm going to do I'm going to do my alt.

[00:01:44]>> Okay.

[00:01:51]>> Um Fun.

[00:01:52]>> You want You are eating with your friends.

[00:01:56]>> Would you like to eat with me next time?

[00:01:59]>> Oh.

[00:01:59]>> Together.

[00:02:00]>> Oh, >> wait. That's advanced.

[00:02:03]>> Damn.

[00:02:04]>> Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Hold up. Hold on. This is This should be Ryan's alt.

[00:02:12]>> Yeah, we we all know Zarali. We all know we all know Zarali. Yeah, I be [ __ ] I be [ __ ] be [ __ ] >> Oh, is that how to say I'm [ __ ] >> That's excuse me.

[00:02:30]>> No, where where is >> Kingman Garali?

[00:02:44]>> That was good. That was good.

[00:02:47]>> Cory, you are my You are my Wo. You are my Wong Yo.

[00:02:51]>> Yeah, he's Wong Yo.

[00:02:54]>> Yong Xiao Wongo.

[00:02:56]>> He's a little little Wong Yo.

[00:02:59]>> Yep. He's my little online friend.

[00:03:00]>> Big Wong. I'm Big Wong. Yo.

[00:03:03]>> When DD thinks he's blah blah.

[00:03:07]>> Oh no.

[00:03:08]>> There's many many such cases of of DD thinking they're blah blah.

[00:03:13]>> Oh no.

[00:03:15]>> Many many such cases.

[00:03:17]>> Wait. I didn't believe in a language I don't understand.

[00:03:20]>> We could deprecate ank and start calling people.

[00:03:24]>> Oh, >> Cory Cyano, I'm your boss, little bro.

[00:03:37]>> Okay, >> this is awesome.

[00:03:41]>> Can you even respond? I love this.

[00:03:50]>> How can I respond to this?

[00:03:52]>> Do I have to bark? What do you want me to do? I don't >> I'm also trying to play, but I'm getting insulted in a language I don't speak.

[00:03:59]>> You're not getting insulted. I'm just >> You're just getting monged, dude.

[00:04:02]>> Yeah, there there's the vibes there, though. The vibes are there that I'm being blah blah.

[00:04:06]>> Cory Laan, >> I think so.

[00:04:09]>> Hello. How do you feel about how this sounds?

[00:04:11]>> Is it working?

[00:04:12]>> It's working. It's working. Black four is no longer naked lady in the profile picture.

[00:04:18]>> There was never a naked lady in the profile picture. That was it was last time.

[00:04:23]>> It was a cat with some pillows, guys.

[00:04:27]>> Get over your >> You get over it. I'm not the one freaking out.

[00:04:31]>> You are definitely the one who freaked out and that's why you put it on the profile picture.

[00:04:36]>> What?

[00:04:37]>> You You really thought like, "Oh, I want a cute profile picture of a cat." Is that why you put that there? Or do you think like, "Oh, well, it's okay."

[00:04:45]>> Relax. Relax, guys. He's He's big.

[00:04:48]>> He's ba ba.

[00:04:54]>> I like that. Little little old uncle.

[00:04:58]>> So, good.

[00:05:00]>> Little you, you little my dad's oldest brother.

[00:05:05]>> Why don't we start early, okay? And then when we get the second one paying dividends, >> you did >> the grippers.

[00:05:14]>> Did I simple impacts no longer make you drop them? That's pretty good. And there's a spoiler.

[00:05:22]>> Aroma therapy.

[00:05:23]>> Oh my god. Look, I'm >> Yeah, less stress.

[00:05:26]>> I clap. Oh, >> can someone do something and I'll clap for you.

[00:05:37]Check that out. Check that out. What you think about that?

[00:05:39]>> All right, that is also I drifted into >> There's more claps.

[00:05:44]>> They got the Friends Lob formula down to a down to a science with this one.

[00:05:50]>> Little bit of cute, little bit of chaos.

[00:05:53]>> Yep. Yep. Yep.

[00:05:54]>> Rogike formula. Proximity voice chat.

[00:05:58]>> Playing with two baldies.

[00:05:59]>> Yep.

[00:06:00]>> Oh, that's so true.

[00:06:03]>> Um The crocat's pretty good.

[00:06:05]>> Oh my god.

[00:06:08]>> Oh, it moves your head.

[00:06:12]>> Welcome to your new job.

[00:06:20]>> Well, I got an achievement.

[00:06:21]>> Yeah, score a goal. Thanks, Cory.

[00:06:23]>> Yeah, we scored that goal.

[00:06:26]>> How do you score the goal?

[00:06:28]>> Throw it.

[00:06:28]>> I feel like John Terry getting all the credit for Ddier Drag's incredible right foot. Check this. Check this.

[00:06:36]Now check this.

[00:06:40]Hey. Hey.

[00:06:49]>> Okay. Okay. Okay.

[00:06:52]>> Imagine if we could all drift concentrically.

[00:06:56]>> Okay.

[00:06:58]>> Never mind. Might not might not be possible.

[00:07:00]>> Hit me.

[00:07:02]Is that off now? Angry.

[00:07:06]>> All right. All right. Lock in. Lock in.

[00:07:07]Lock in.

[00:07:11]>> That is That's not LOCKING IN. THAT'S CRASHING OUT. NOW I'M CRASHING OUT.

[00:07:15]>> So many crazy people.

[00:07:18]>> I'm sending a bunch of eggs. Send a bunch of eggs. Yol.

[00:07:22]>> One truck away. One truck away.

[00:07:25]>> Not worth. Not worth.

[00:07:27]>> It's not If you see a chicken in lava, do not pick it up. It's not working.

[00:07:31]>> Ryan, >> why are you getting You're getting >> your dirty mouth, >> guys? I'm stuck. I'M STUCK. I'M STUCK.

[00:07:35]Can you move the scrubber? I'm stuck.

[00:07:37]>> Oh god. Oh god. Where? Where? Where?

[00:07:39]Where?

[00:07:41]>> Help. Oh, I I can just move it. I can just No, I'm chilling.

[00:07:45]>> Yeah, you just pick it up.

[00:07:47]>> Oh god, we got a lot of eggs.

[00:07:50]>> I like ghosts.

[00:07:52]>> I like ghosts.

[00:07:53]>> Ghost. Got to go.

[00:07:54]>> Imagine if we lived in that world.

[00:07:56]>> I like ghost.

[00:07:59]I'm here at the Sinclair County Fair and I've got a very special gentleman here.

[00:08:02]How are you feeling today? You >> sure you can't hear?

[00:08:05]>> Yeah. And he's got he's got turtle face paint on.

[00:08:07]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:08:08]>> I like these chains off and then say it again.

[00:08:17]>> Tire chains. Oh, >> tire chains. Tire chains.

[00:08:21]>> Nitro.

[00:08:23]>> Tire chain.

[00:08:26]human.

[00:08:28]>> You get sad when you run out of nitro?

[00:08:30]Not really. I haven't really been using it to be honest.

[00:08:32]>> Holy cow. HOLY COW, RIGHT?

[00:08:35]>> OH MY GOD. Those >> Wait, wait, wait. Look at it. Look at it. Oh my god.

[00:08:41]>> I wonder if you know Tokyo.

[00:08:50]>> Holy [ __ ] >> bro. We're not hitting each other, dude.

[00:08:55]>> My bad. My bad. I stopped. I stopped. I ran out of gas.

[00:08:58]>> Okay.

[00:09:02]>> Oh, we get to drip so much.

[00:09:03]>> If you guys want to [ __ ] >> YOU CAN'T GO BACK THAT WAY. OH, JESUS CHRIST.

[00:09:11]>> If you are a Pokemon gym leader, what would be your Pokemon type?

[00:09:16]>> Water. 100%.

[00:09:18]>> I'm going >> like I'ming myself in the wonderful world of Pokemon right now.

[00:09:21]>> Oh, I hope this 8-year-old kid didn't bring a Bulbasaur. Oh no.

[00:09:30]>> Stack it. Stack it. Stack it. Whatever you do, just stack it.

[00:09:33]>> Yeah. Just put them on there.

[00:09:35]>> Oh. Oh my god. Oh my god. We need red.

[00:09:38]We need red. Moved over. Red moved over now. I'm taking red.

[00:09:40]>> All reds. All reds.

[00:09:41]>> Look at that sweat. He's talking like he cheers for Liverpool. You never walk alone, lad. You never walk You never walk alone, lad.

[00:09:51]>> I don't know what the [ __ ] you're talking about. I'm I'm just going to stack. I'm just going to stack.

[00:09:56]>> Okay.

[00:09:57]>> Okay. U send Send Send A. Send A. Oh [ __ ] It can throw stacks.

[00:10:01]>> LOOK AT THE ARROW ON THE GROUND, BRO.

[00:10:04]>> OH, >> happy partner anniversary. Somebody tossing these barrels around.

[00:10:09]>> Oh, it's me. It's me. It's me. It's your partner anniversary.

[00:10:12]>> Wait. Your partner anniversary and your your partner's anniversary.

[00:10:16]>> Throw money at me.

[00:10:18]>> Your your partner anniversary and your partner's anniversary are so close together. food.

[00:10:22]>> Bro, I'm buying >> Oh, I clapped that. I bought a thing.

[00:10:25]Well, >> I'm buying more scrubby.

[00:10:26]>> I swear you >> I think we need more scrubby.

[00:10:29]>> You know what?

[00:10:31]This auto scrubber.

[00:10:32]>> Oh, yes it is.

[00:10:33]>> Oh, no. This is This is a self scrub.

[00:10:35]>> That's the manual.

[00:10:36]>> It's a self scrub. I say no thanks.

[00:10:38]>> Self scrub station.

[00:10:39]>> Your partner anniversary and your partner's anniversary are really close together.

[00:10:45]>> Is it weird to say your partner's anniversary cuz that's also yours? Yeah, but it's not as funny to say your partner anniversary and your anniversary. It's a simple rule of humor.

[00:10:54]>> I'm I'm throwing a whole wrench into the gears here.

[00:10:58]>> You understand the first rule of improv?

[00:11:01]>> Yes. And >> yes, exactly.

[00:11:07]>> Two green and a red right now.

[00:11:11]>> Hey, that's >> What are you doing?

[00:11:14]>> What?

[00:11:16]Careful. Oh, you're going against >> You have a There's a break. There's a break on the forklift. You don't have to just crash into them.

[00:11:29]>> Okay, send it. Send it.

[00:11:31]>> There's not a break ON THE >> THERE IS A BREAK. JUST TAP A. Tap A lightly. We need some greens, y'all.

[00:11:37]>> Tap A lightly. [ __ ] sends me.

[00:11:45]>> Some aggressive cact.

[00:11:47]>> We got to We got to go easy mode. We got to go easy mode. You guys are crazy.

[00:11:50]You're crashing into each other nonstop.

[00:11:52]>> What's wrong with the cacti?

[00:11:54]>> You're crashing into everything nonstop.

[00:11:56]>> What's wrong with >> Have you guys never played Final Fantasy 14? Cacttor is like such a nice guy.

[00:12:02]>> Isn't Cacttor like one of the most annoying enemies in Final Fantasy? He like explodes. You got him confused with the the tonberry, bro.

[00:12:10]>> You got him confused. You're like a man.

[00:12:13]>> You're like, "What's wrong with this little guy? It's just a little guy with a lantern." All he's Oh. Oh, he's coming over by me. He's coming OVER BY ME.

[00:12:21]>> CACTAR DID LIKE 9999 DAMAGE.

[00:12:24]>> OH, WELL, maybe that that's both.

[00:12:25]>> Maybe you're fighting the wrong Cactar.

[00:12:27]There's a smaller cactar.

[00:12:29]>> It was the I don't know. Rock paper scissors. Cactar >> is a nice guy. Trust Cactar.

[00:12:35]Okay, I choose paper.

[00:12:37]>> 10,000 needles. That's >> I chose scissors, so I won.

[00:12:40]>> All right, I guess we're going to the rank. I guess that's how it is.

[00:12:46]>> That's crazy.

[00:12:48]>> I want to guess right now right now.

[00:12:54]>> We need all the cleaning.

[00:12:56]>> Yes, I think we need all the scrubs.

[00:12:58]>> We need all the cleaning.

[00:13:01]>> Here comes the red driving. It's like driving in Richmond over here, man.

[00:13:07]>> I don't know if it's like ping or what, but it it really feels like you're crashing into each other on purpose.

[00:13:12]>> It's like they turn into me.

[00:13:16]>> The the you go left, I'll go right type [ __ ] >> Yeah, sure. Sure, sure.

[00:13:22]>> There's arrows. There's arrows on the ground.

[00:13:25]>> I was going in that direction.

[00:13:27]>> There's arrows on the ground that tell you what direction to go and which direction. That's such a good argument for driving the wrong way on the highway.

[00:13:38]>> He's right. You know, >> I was driving this way first. Okay. I'm I'm bringing three.

[00:13:44]>> So, I'd crush now. I'm crushing out.

[00:13:49]>> The cactus is the cacti.

[00:13:52]>> Oh, I'm I'm going to Let me prune those for you. Let me >> Yeah. We need We need like one person doing >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see your point now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'M CRASHING OUT. I'M CRASHING OUT.

[00:14:07]>> The the boost pad right into two cactuses is nuts.

[00:14:11]>> That one's good to go with two more reds.

[00:14:14]>> Okay, I'm going to be on. I'm not going to deliver anything. I'm just going to [ __ ] these cactuses and I'm going to I'm going to work these scrubbers, man. I'm going to be cleaning the floors.

[00:14:25]>> Saying [ __ ] while our character is getting BLEEPED OUT. OH, IT POPPED OUT OF THE GROUND.

[00:14:31]>> One more green bottom. No, no.

[00:14:33]>> One green B. Two red, five green.

[00:14:36]>> [ __ ] [ __ ] >> There's so many cactus.

[00:14:40]>> I love it beeping you while you're swearing. So like you're all we hear is like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] >> Why are you [ __ ] >> It's so poison. Oh. Oh.

[00:14:58]>> Okay. I'm going to You guys get the ingredients. I'm going to do a whole little prune helping here with with Giga.

[00:15:04]>> The music is so hip.

[00:15:08]>> So, >> one more red up top.

[00:15:09]>> Yeah, I love the music.

[00:15:14]>> One more red.

[00:15:15]>> Perfect.

[00:15:16]>> Did you see how quick that [ __ ] [ __ ] was, too?

[00:15:20]>> Dude, that [ __ ] was [ __ ] fast. That's two orders down, bro. That [ __ ] was good, [ __ ] >> Oh, clean.

[00:15:33]>> Wait, do cow.

[00:15:34]>> We don't have a cow.

[00:15:35]>> New roll.

[00:15:36]>> We have a bowl.

[00:15:38]>> Wait, would I DO LIKE >> BRO, JUST DODGE. LIKE, I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY MIND.

[00:15:43]>> What happened?

[00:15:45]>> We're on like a collision course. I'm swerving and he's just holding the line.

[00:15:48]HE'S A BADASS.

[00:15:49]>> You think you think you're swerving and I think I'm swerving. So, we're both swerving >> and then not swerving.

[00:15:56]>> Oh, >> why did it sounded like it knocked you far away?

[00:16:04]>> Why is bro doing donuts in the AO? I'm freaking out.

[00:16:08]>> I'm not doing donuts.

[00:16:09]>> YOU WERE DOING IN THE in the ordinance area, man.

[00:16:13]>> Holding the [ __ ] bulls so they don't break all our [ __ ] Oh, two bowls for a two bowls. Three china.

[00:16:22]>> Oh, nice.

[00:16:24]>> Can we reroll? Did we hit a reroll?

[00:16:25]>> [ __ ] >> Yeah. Yeah. Go for it.

[00:16:28]>> Chill. Chill.

[00:16:29]>> You chill. You try to try to steal my [ __ ] >> I didn't try to steal your [ __ ] There's a a circle on the ground that indicates where I'm going to go.

[00:16:37]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think the wheels. I might take the wheels.

[00:16:44]Oh, check my [ __ ] dude. Check my tires.

[00:16:48]>> Okay, that was awesome.

[00:16:49]>> I'm I'm liking I'm liking the way your tires don't match.

[00:16:51]>> That was awesome.

[00:16:52]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got the big ones in the front.

[00:16:56]>> Oh, do not sneeze. Do not sneeze. Do not sneeze.

[00:16:59]>> One shine on one shine up top.

[00:17:01]>> Oh, it's not looking good here. What do we need on B? What do we need on B?

[00:17:04]>> You guys You guys sounding like Trump.

[00:17:06]>> I thought so, too. I thought so, too.

[00:17:09]>> We need three bulls on B.

[00:17:12]>> Two China, one A. You move to >> China, one bull.

[00:17:18]>> Two china, one bull.

[00:17:20]>> Two china.

[00:17:22]>> What do we need? What do we need over here? What's on a >> Oh, yeah. One china. One china.

[00:17:26]>> I got it.

[00:17:26]>> I just need a lot of >> China. There's only one.

[00:17:30]>> Oh, okay.

[00:17:31]>> I got it. I got it. I got it.

[00:17:32]>> What the Oh, hit the button.

[00:17:39]>> What was that sound?

[00:17:42]We need three bulls on A, >> four China, three China, three China on B.

[00:17:48]>> Three China, three China.

[00:17:51]>> One day there will be three china.

[00:17:53]>> Lovely lama. We lovely bubble. Use the lovely game. You get 10% off.

[00:18:00]>> I'm just going to farm stats like >> use code lovely momo.

[00:18:05]>> That actually is something that the current White House might say though.

[00:18:09]>> Yeah.

[00:18:09]>> Yep. Yep. of the July 4th UFC competition sponsored by Lovely Momo.

[00:18:20]>> Oh, >> and she is lovely. Yes, she is.

[00:18:22]>> Ice. Ice sounds terrible.

[00:18:25]>> Did you call her Mo lovely?

[00:18:26]>> Do it. We got her >> because she is.

[00:18:30]>> Isn't she lovely?

[00:18:33]>> Isn't she wonderful?

[00:18:36]Stevie Momo, folks. The fabulous, the beautiful Stevie Momo. What a sight for sore eyes.

[00:18:42]>> I didn't mean to reroll that. I didn't even think I touched that, but all right.

[00:18:46]>> Damn it, dude. This feels like natural to a beast like me. We're just skating here.

[00:18:52]>> Yeah.

[00:18:53]>> Should make the game a little harder, though, cuz like it's it's a little too easy for a beast like us.

[00:18:57]>> Maybe Maybe you want some ghost action.

[00:19:01]I I want it to be like Play-Doh where you're like really freaking out.

[00:19:05]>> Some ghost action sounds [ __ ] funny, man.

[00:19:07]>> Dan Akwards. Uh, search history.

[00:19:11]>> Need a little ghost action.

[00:19:13]>> Slimer. He's a disgusting pig.

[00:19:16]>> Big green fats made of goo. Made of ooze. Maybe.

[00:19:23]>> What happens if we just fling the bees at the wall? Like you just you just full at the wall. Like what what happens if you just Oh, only chases you, Giga. Oh my god.

[00:19:39]>> Does not chase me.

[00:19:40]>> Oh, she's having a my girl moment over there.

[00:19:43]>> Yes, dude. My Kulkin's macau.

[00:19:48]>> Okay, I'm I'm taking I'm taking the ice.

[00:19:50]I'm taking the ice.

[00:19:51]>> Ice.

[00:19:53]>> I think the cold weather will make these a little tivid. Yeah, it should it should it should like slow them down, but I don't think it's going to work that way.

[00:20:01]>> Boy, you should breathe smoke into the hive to chill them out.

[00:20:09]>> Just like rip a cloud into, >> man.

[00:20:14]>> Yeah, they like that pineapple ice.

[00:20:22]>> There's There's three piles total.

[00:20:25]Okay.

[00:20:26]>> Oh my god. Ryan, >> I'm not going to get in the way. I'm not going to come over and get in the way.

[00:20:30]>> Can I Can I ask why you were moving so slow?

[00:20:34]>> You broke my [ __ ] >> Oh. Oh, the honey. The honey was away.

[00:20:41]It was in front of me.

[00:20:42]>> I liked it when I was when I was working by myself.

[00:20:46]>> Hey. Hey. We love >> child type [ __ ] man.

[00:20:50]>> Oh [ __ ] >> I'm not an only child, Cory.

[00:20:55]Dude, Kate, if you don't stop yelling at me, I'm going to throw all these bees at you.

[00:20:59]>> Oh, >> I'm drifting in.

[00:21:04]>> Don't get me. Don't get me stressed out.

[00:21:06]Don't get me stressed out.

[00:21:07]>> My culture is not your costume.

[00:21:14]>> Every every time every time someone always go, I'm looking at you and you every time I say something with an accent, try to undevelop my accent. Oh, are you a New Yorker?

[00:21:26]>> Yeah.

[00:21:27]>> Oh, >> I used to talk like this like unironically and then I started spending time online and it just like it's gone, dude. It just went away.

[00:21:34]>> See, I started spending time online and then I started sounding like I was from New York.

[00:21:38]>> So, you see, I like hear it but don't hear it. You're like people like it sounds like it's from New York. New Yorkers New Yorkers say bagel bagel.

[00:21:48]>> No bagel bagel.

[00:21:50]>> They say, "Could I get a bacon, egg, and cheese, salt and pepper, ketchup mayo on a roll?" Yes, sir.

[00:21:55]>> No one says bagel except for this [ __ ] guy.

[00:21:58]>> Other Canadians.

[00:21:59]>> Say yes, sir. We say you're >> one B down here. One B down here. One B down south.

[00:22:03]>> Don't anyone actually say bagel bagel?

[00:22:07]>> Ryan develop.

[00:22:08]>> Just this guy.

[00:22:09]>> IT'S NOT JUST ME. IT'S ALL CANADIANS.

[00:22:11]YOU JUST WOULDN'T KNOW IT CUZ NOBODY'S eating carbs anymore.

[00:22:13]>> I'm Canadian though.

[00:22:15]>> Yeah. No one.

[00:22:15]>> It's cuz they're scooping them. They're scooping them now. They scoop them.

[00:22:18]>> Vancouver. No disrespect. It's not real Canada. What the [ __ ] What the [ __ ] >> Misfit Island or something.

[00:22:28]>> Canadians from like Pawa, they say bagel.

[00:22:32]>> What the hell is that?

[00:22:34]>> Pawa more Canadian than Vancouver. We literally >> Can you drive WHERE THE ARROWS ARE POINTING?

[00:22:41]THIS IS THE WRONG WAY. CORY, >> you see the guys or the the video of the the woman who got pulled over by the cop and then he's like, "Yeah, I pulled you over because I saw you using >> texting with your right your right hand." And then she pulled up her arm with no hand and she's like, "Do you just want to you just want to call this a day then?"

[00:22:57]>> Oh my god, it was good. It was good. She like waved it.

[00:23:00]>> Hello, ma'am.

[00:23:01]>> Hey, good morning. I'm Gala with the Pumpus County Sheriff's Office. This is the way you being pulled over the city of Lake today. We're doing an operation for distracted driving and you drove past me holding the phone with your right hand, manipulating that phone. I mean, I saw you.

[00:23:13]>> Obviously not.

[00:23:15]>> So, you want to just call this a day or >> I don't want to call a day. You had a hand up manipulated.

[00:23:20]>> You just said my right hand.

[00:23:21]>> Well, I thought I saw you with your right hand. You had a hand up.

[00:23:24]>> The right hand. I saw you manipulate.

[00:23:26]>> I didn't >> with the right hand perhaps. Not right.

[00:23:28]But you didn't see me with my right hand. So, you saw you saying that you saw me with my hand.

[00:23:32]>> I know what I just said. I know what I just said. I'm asking you now. Did you Did you or not have your phone on on your hand?

[00:23:37]>> I did not.

[00:23:38]>> You did not have a funny hand. I did not.

[00:23:39]>> Hand to God. You did not have a funny hand. Hand of God.

[00:23:42]>> The other hand to go. You don't have a phone in your hand.

[00:23:43]>> Hand of God.

[00:23:44]>> Cool. You have your driver's license, race insurance with you.

[00:23:47]>> All right, ma'am. So, you're going to receive a citation for uh wireless communication device handheld while driving. You can't We got to put the phone down as we operate a motor vehicle.

[00:23:54]>> Oh, and you put on there that you saw me with my right hand holding it.

[00:23:57]>> I did not put that. No. If you want to take it to court, >> but that's what you said when you pulled me over. Yes. I said that you saw me holding my device with my right hand.

[00:24:03]>> I'm not disagreeing with you. Yes.

[00:24:04]That's what I said. Yes. Yes. So, if you want to take it to court >> and that's what you saw.

[00:24:07]>> That's what I said. I said >> that's what you said you saw. Okay.

[00:24:10]Okay. If you want to take it to court, option five on the back of the ticket.

[00:24:12]That's how you take that ticket to court. You have any questions for me?

[00:24:15]>> No.

[00:24:15]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, "No, I saw you with like he doubled down." She just like, "What are you talking about? I don't have a hand."

[00:24:21]>> She's like, "My right hand." Right. My right hand. She's She's like waving her half arm cuz it's like God at the elbow.

[00:24:27]It was so >> Oh, man.

[00:24:31]>> I liked her I liked her attitude about it.

[00:24:33]>> Absolutely.

[00:24:34]>> There's no There is no fire.

[00:24:39]Oh [ __ ] you sound like the app.

[00:24:45]>> You sound like the app.

[00:24:47]>> My My friend who was like teaching me a long time ago, she said you just have to overdo it to the point where you're a little concerned people are going to get offended and then you like actually sound right. And I was like that I don't know if I want to do that. And she was like no trust >> we need >> Oh, I can give you more ghost.

[00:25:04]>> Hi YouTube. You don't know that this run's making it to YouTube yet. We could still [ __ ] this up somehow. It's been known to happen, man. First two [ __ ] up runs always make it in the video. Now that's damn true. Give me 53 gold and a Hey, it does kind of sound like a the same uh I'm in love with you. You're in love with me and my sweetheart.

[00:25:27]Hey, we should do that. Next time we see that, next time we see join forces, we got to do that. I belong the game. Hey, now I'm jumping up again.

[00:25:39]I think that's an L track. Uh, it's in the running for probably, in my opinion, worst song of the 2010s. Yeah, I would I can't disagree with you on that one. I do think that the worst song of all time is definitely I don't know if it would be the worst song of all time, but in the running for worst song of all time is uh The Chaa Slide. The Chaa Slide is truly absolutely god-awful. There's a reason you only hear it at weddings and like uh middle school sporting events. Truly just a aorant piece of music. You have no whimsy. No, I just [ __ ] like good stuff, man. Instead of stuff that sucks, like the chaa slide.

[00:26:22]And then bag of marbles. Bag of marbles with scythe. Oh, and then a turn one scythe.

[00:26:30]Chowo dei. That's huge, man. Sounds like Italian Dexter. Could be worse. Could be Italian Deb.

[00:26:40]Remember from uh from uh Dexter the TV show?

[00:26:48]Holy [ __ ] Panagraph, too. Deb was chill. She [ __ ] was the opposite of chill, bro. She was permanently pressed.

[00:26:56]Jesus [ __ ] Christ, Dex.

[00:27:00]She was always saying [ __ ] like that.

[00:27:02]He does seem hard to live with. They didn't [ __ ] live together. He had his own apartment. He He had to have his own apartment. He was doing all those murders. He was a [ __ ] serial killer.

[00:27:12]Yeah, but you're like, the thing is you're going, "She's valid. He's He's an asshole." She was the ONE WHO WAS [ __ ] WITH HIM, BRO. He was always like, "You're my sister. I don't think we should." She was always like, "Jesus [ __ ] Christ, Dex, why are you hitting me with question marks? You clearly did not watch the entire series of Dexter.

[00:27:33]She went [ __ ] crazy in in like season 6 or something like that. She went insane. When did she try to [ __ ] him? It it happened, MAN. LOOK IT UP. READ A BOOK. There was Thank you. There they did in the last season. There was romantic tension between them. Then you got all the freaks that are saying, "Yeah, but it turns out they weren't related." Still [ __ ] a little frowned upon at a minimum. Writers [ __ ] up killing do so early. Bro, the writers didn't do that. That was Dex. That was the Bay Harbor Butcher, man. You seem to be [ __ ] confused. Don't kill me.

[00:28:08]Got to be honest with you. I think we take nothing, man. You're confused. It was Lyla. Oh [ __ ] it [ __ ] was Lyla.

[00:28:14]I got to be honest with you. I feel like starting with a Can we say she ruined everything? Dexter kind of had his [ __ ] under control after he took out the ice cream truck killer, but then season two, it all went wrong, man. He did fly to Paris, just a murderer. He was having kind of like a Francis Haw sort of moment. Was the ice truck killer, not the ice cream truck killer. I I seem to recall that whenever he was on the screen, it was going like That's not the ice cream truck song. It is in Virtual Bart for the Super Nintendo Discovery. Oh my god, it's the two greatest cards in the game, bro.

[00:29:04]Man, what do you mean, man? This This not exhausting makes it better. It's random cards instead of random cards from a different class or random attacks from a different class, man. Splash is so much better. Splash doesn't exhaust either. Yeah, but I don't want my hand filled with like [ __ ] attacks. I want it filled with [ __ ] that I [ __ ] chose, man. Also, I don't care cuz as far as I'm concerned, if you disagree with me on anything, you're literally just going off a tier list that you watched because you have infinite free time and I don't cuz I have one child.

[00:29:33]So, counter that. Counter that argument.

[00:29:36]Splash. You choose two. But it's ONLY ATTACKS.

[00:29:40]MM- JOE, I'm beefing with you. I'm beefing with you, Joe. I've played against you in video games and I've I'VE MOPPED THE [ __ ] FLOOR WITH YOU. OKAY?

[00:29:48]SO, as soon as you start this Joe saying Splash is much stronger, okay, buddy.

[00:29:53]Literally, I went I went toe-to-toe at Tet with a [ __ ] rendevu with you in Rumbleverse. So, I I should know to discount your opinion when it comes to strategy in video games.

[00:30:06]Shiao DD, how do you feel about that?

[00:30:09]That was an action game, not a strategy game. Action is just real-time strategy, bro. I hate all these cards. I don't want them. They make our deck worse. I'm going to Hawaii. So L for you. It's actually L for you cuz they don't want you there. Truth Nuke, don't you go to Hawaii? Yeah, they don't want me there either.

[00:30:28]We're not so different, I'm guessing.

[00:30:30]Would you buy the $500 ultrasonic knife?

[00:30:34]Uh, I feel like I'm missing something.

[00:30:37]$500 ultrasonic knife. Is it in Counterstrike or is it for like cooking?

[00:30:42]It cuts stuff without sawing. I just have a knife for that that cuts without sawing. I mean, I guess I just kind of use my arm to be fair. You can definitely get like a $500 knife that still like requires you to saw.

[00:31:00]I know because as with every like fake hobby that I try to get into that my chat tells me to get into, um, I took a look at like, oh, I should buy like one really nice knife and then I was like, what the [ __ ] These really nice knives are like $300 each and they don't even like have a leather pommel or anything.

[00:31:22]And the same people who were telling me to buy a really really nice Japanese knife are like McDonald's is too expensive these days. It it just doesn't make any sense. And they're saying some [ __ ] like I can't go back to coach cuz I flew in first class once and I'm lo I'm losing my mind. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[00:31:40]Why do good girls like magic guys?

[00:31:45]That's but like it's funnier if you imagine that it's a Yu-Gi-Oh player saying it.

[00:31:51]The city of angels lonely as Sing it with me if you know the words. Lonely as I am, together we cry. I have a theory, by the way, and I think it's kind of coming true.

[00:32:08]Starting to learn the four tones of Mandarin has actually made me a better singer in English because I'm like learning about pitch a little bit. I actually think it's making me realize that like there's different pitches in This is why Chinese music sounds so good to me. This is why it always sets me free. This is why Angular banjos sound so good to me. Would you let Chibi crash at your house? Unironically, absolutely.

[00:32:34]Yeti. No. And that's honestly, don't take this the wrong way. Um, anybody who's not Yeti, but Yeti is 19 years old. I am not letting a 19-year-old stay at my house. They're going to [ __ ] it up. It's like they're a child essentially. They're not they don't know. I'm not saying no 19 year olds are like taking good care of their living spaces, but on average, you know, you're you're you're dealing with people who are, you know, their moms are still like doing their dishes for them and stuff like that.

[00:33:10]I know cuz I've been there. I'm [ __ ] dead, by the way. Maybe you guys are right. Maybe uh maybe Splash clears.

[00:33:19]I I always enjoy going to the shopping mall. Wait, I'm in love with you. You're in love with me and my sweet heart.

[00:33:28]>> I'm in love with you. You're in love with me and my sweet.

[00:33:34]That was We [ __ ] hate We even gave it that [ __ ] pause. Did you see how we gave it that pause? That was kind of awesome.

[00:33:42]Overhated song. N man probably like literally uh in my opinion underhated song. What's that song called? Can someone help me? Uh, all I know is that uh in the parentheses after the song name, it says heyi ho. And I'm not even trying to be like an [ __ ] I literally don't know what it's called. I just know that it has hey ho. Oh, it has it's hoi. My bad.

[00:34:08]I apologize. Apparently, it's Hoi.

[00:34:11]It's a deckload of fun.

[00:34:14]I do I have to see AVGN's opinions on Slave Aspire, too, man. It's like a deckload of fun. Who made this game?

[00:34:22]Chris Cards.

[00:34:25]Fred Funs is also good, but I feel like Chris Chris Cards just has a certain Juniqua.

[00:34:31]The lead engineer is literally called Jake Card. No way, man. No. Seriously, this is not the A9 boss.

[00:34:42]I understand why you're saying that.

[00:34:43]You're saying that because it's it only becomes A10 in your head once you kill this boss. No, bro. We made decisions throughout this [ __ ] run that we would not have made on A9. We buffed up our max HP like crazy because we knew there was going to be a second boss. So, there's a [ __ ] knock-on effect from every single decision we've made on this run. We've been on A10 the whole time.

[00:35:03]Sometimes you lose against the first boss and people go, "Oh, that wasn't even an A9 victory. WE WEREN'T ON A9. I WAS GOING FOR AN A10 VICTORY." There's a slightly different suite of decisions that you have to make as a result of the changing parameters.

[00:35:16]But they don't they don't [ __ ] get it because they're they're addicted to this like [ __ ] reductive mindset. They don't even understand.

[00:35:26]Make another Reeve.

[00:35:28]What is a Reeve anyway? When chat doesn't talk for 3 seconds. Wait, wait.

[00:35:32]We're going to get him back. Streamers, when chat doesn't talk for 3 seconds, what's your favorite gun to your head?

[00:35:38]What's the first fruit you pick up in the in the produce section of the grocery store? I belong with you. Do you belong with me in my sweetheart?

[00:35:49]>> I belong with you. Why is someone aiming a gun at my head in the grocery store?

[00:35:54]Do you want me to make the obvious joke or is that beneath me?

[00:36:00]I'm going to say that's beneath me. I'm going to say we don't need to stoop to that level.

[00:36:04]We are not American.

[00:36:06]Statistically not true based on my uh my own analytics. Statistically not true.

[00:36:13]Many of you, many of you are American.

[00:36:17]Now, du duen.

[00:36:20]I don't know. I simply don't know. Uh, and I also don't know how to say I don't know in Mandarin, which I think I should work on because that seems like something that is really relevant to do a show. Whatever.

[00:36:38]Yeah, it's pissing me off that so many of you know Mandarin. I'm supposed to be the only guy who knows Mandarin.

[00:36:45]And don't say some [ __ ] like I'm Chinese.

[00:36:51]I'm supposed to be the only guy. Okay.

[00:36:54]I'm supposed to be the only guy who knows it. Supposed to be the only guy learning it.

[00:37:00]How I forgot that. That could be Chinese zezy top, man. How how how picturing a bunch of old bunch of old Chinese guys with like really long beards.

[00:37:14]A how how it is the wrong tone.

[00:37:19]How how I can't do it. I can't do it that fast. If you say three hows in a row, do you still have to adhere to tone? Sandi, does does it become uh how how?

[00:37:32]Nobody's ever done it before. They need they need a Chinese Matthew McConna and then they'll need it. How do you know they don't have one already? Oh [ __ ] Spinny boy, good to see you. By the way, I've never seen you and Yeti in the same room at the same Wait, that's literally the opposite of what I'm trying to say.

[00:37:53]I'm I've never seen you without Yeti, so I'm happy to see you're still you're still in here chilling. Yeti hasn't been here today.

[00:38:03]probably found another home because we weren't live for like the first three hours when we normally are. Don't call him Yeti's minion. That's That's actually so [ __ ] up.

[00:38:15]That's insane.

[00:38:18]Didn't Yeti get banned. There's a whole You wish is what I'm trying to say.

[00:38:21]There's a There's a whole thing going on there.

[00:38:25]Now you're [ __ ] I got my strength back.

[00:38:28]There it is.

[00:38:34]And now you're all going to pay. I mean, that's like that's on site. Now you're all going to pay cuz that you [ __ ] [ __ ] me before. Get ready to eat [ __ ] More. More. There's one soul. That's all we need.

[00:38:49]That's all we [ __ ] need.

[00:38:54]One of these. One of these.

[00:39:02]Guys, that was less than we [ __ ] needed.

[00:39:06]NO, it seems unbelievable. It seems unbelievable. And yet, here we are. Um, I don't know. I guess I'm going to guess I'm going to raid my wife now that we're at the end of the stream here. A deck that didn't improve at all in act two dies in act three. Shocking. Can you take atlian out of your uh your handle?

[00:39:32]You take at Ellien out of your handle.

[00:39:34]You're not cool enough to like an album that good. You're talking like someone who's not Well, now that I think about it, you're not talking like an Outcast fan in like 2001, but you're talking like an Outcast fan in 2026. So, that actually you're valid for that truth nuke.

[00:39:57]So, I don't know. I don't know. I said it, but I don't know because anyway, I'll send you over there. See you tomorrow later.

[00:40:12]Heart and soul.

[00:40:14]It's got a lot of heart and soul. I don't know the rest of the words, but it's got a pretty good baseline. Pretty good baseline. Heart and soul. My wife is streaming Mod Monday's Pog. I'll send you right over to her stream. Hope you have a great rest of your Monday night.

[00:40:41]I'll see you tomorrow for dome keeper.