Teenager With Dwarfism Shares How Being Bullied Turned Him Into A Bully

Añadido: 2026-06-04

[00:00:01][music] >> I want to thank you for coming back to the table this very candid conversation about bullying. We are here with Audra Upshaw. Her 12-year-old son Silas took his own life in April of 2025 after months of bullying at the hands of fellow middle schoolers in Kentucky. And joining the conversation now is Terra Lynn Towns. She is an anti-bullying advocate. She's also the author of Are You Raising a Bully? And her son, Oncore Hunt, is also here, 17 years old, here to share his personal experiences about bullying. And get this, how he turned to music to cope and thrive. I want to welcome the two of you to the show.

[00:00:46]>> Thank you. Um Audra, and before the break, you were telling us how your 12-year-old son sadly ended up taking his own life the same way his father did many years ago.

[00:00:57]Uh but you turned this heartache and and this grief into a passion for helping others.

[00:01:04]Um it's a it's a beautiful testimony. And it happened somewhat at the help of Terra Lynn, who reached out after you saw the story. Tell me more.

[00:01:15]So, um because that is what I do in my nonprofit Tiny Be Mighty, I help families um who have lost children between the ages of 7 and 17 nationwide.

[00:01:25]My team is always finding stories, or if they come about, they send them to me.

[00:01:29]So, I just I Googled because I was going to be on the news, and I was on the news in Louisville um promoting what we do, the app, the book, and everything that we have for the resolution. So, when I uh Googled the story myself, I said, "Wow, um we lost another child."

[00:01:46]Ironically, I was coming here anyway to Louisville, I'm saying. Mhm. So, when you reached out to Audra, what did you say? What do you do? I mean, it's such a heartbreaking set of circumstances. It's the worst case scenario with bullying. It is. And so, what I what I did was just let her know that I'm a mom on a mission.

[00:02:06]Um I was bullied tremendously about being interracial. My son was bullied for having dwarfism. So, I connected with her as a mom and that's that's how I reached out to her and then she reached back out to me. What did that connection look like and mean for you in such a difficult time?

[00:02:26]You know, when she reached out, I I did I messaged her back and I honestly, at that point, I wasn't really thinking too much about it. Sure. But, we scheduled a conversation. So, she gave me a call and we just clicked.

[00:02:42]Everything that I was looking to do, she had already done.

[00:02:49]And her mission aligned perfectly with what I wanted to see. And you're both looking for changes in policy, right? At state level, at the policy, at the federal level. I want to talk about that in just a moment, but I've got to bring in Encore here.

[00:03:05]This I know this is hard for you to hear, but you completely understand what it is like to have people coming for you.

[00:03:13]>> Correct.

[00:03:14]Tell us your story. I feel like growing up, I was always the little homie, you know, I mean height and [clears throat] shoot. And stature >> And stature, but people didn't understand how to respect the little homie and I was always trying to figure out how to gain my respect in a way.

[00:03:35]I felt like I had to get myself in a certain crowds that would that were like bigger people than me, you know, to get that status in a way. So, I could be respected like that. So, I understand when you were in elementary school, it was things like, you know, kids trying to like walk on your shoes to get you to stumble and fall. But then as the kids get bigger and you were not getting bigger, it became physical. To what What were people doing?

[00:04:02]Mostly when I was The physical stuff was mostly when I was like younger.

[00:04:07]Like I would say probably like 5th to 5th grade.

[00:04:12]And I was more of like probably like stepping on the back of my shoes, trying to make me fall, pushing me. But then at a certain point it's like you stop wanting to take all that disrespect, you know? Mhm. And Did you become somewhat aggressive?

[00:04:28]>> Yes, ma'am. Would you describe yourself as a bully at some point?

[00:04:32]>> definitely describe myself as a >> Tell me more cuz I think some people don't recognize that sometimes the bullies come from having been bullied, from having been teased, having uh been the target. I feel like once I was at that point where I didn't want to take no more disrespect, I was starting to disrespect them first in a way. You know, if a person looked at me, I would be like, "What you looking at?" Start the problem before the problem even occurred. The preemptive strike, if you would. Yeah. And I feel like that's where I had to realize like, "Okay, sometimes people just don't understand what you are, you know?" Mhm. So you have to like sit back and analyze them before you react.

[00:05:09]>> Right. Charlene, your book In your book you talk about the different types of I don't want to say characters, but really the people who are involved, right?

[00:05:19]>> Yes. You've got the people who are bullying, you've got the people who are observing. Right. Nowadays you've got the people who are recording.

[00:05:24]>> Yes. Um cheering it on. There are all types of people. For the parents, and I want Audrey for you to weigh in here.

[00:05:30]For the parents, what do you want people to understand about how this is really a community effort of bullying? It's not just one person throwing punches.

[00:05:40]>> You're correct. Um I want people to understand that there's power in the numbers of the scenario to begin with.

[00:05:47]So, the bully himself is a child who definitely has a low self-esteem. If the watcher, I call him in my book, that's the bystander, and the person who promotes, that's the promoter in the book, saying, "Hey, meet us in the bathroom at 3:00." And the assistant, if these children coupled with the target, I don't use self-defeating words like victims, the targets. And I like kids when I go into schools, I I've definitely addressed that with the kids.

[00:06:15]Your your power's in your voice. It's not just speaking up about it. But, I need people to know that they're raising these There's certain parenting, you know, types that raise certain types of children. You a part of the problem or you part of the solution? And we've got to parent accordingly. Andrea, let's talk about what the the work that you want to do in terms of changing federal legislation. Mhm. Absolutely. So, I started the Silas Project, and our goal is to to create that legislative change, to fight for that legislative change.

[00:06:51]At this point, if a These kids, these bullies, they're not being held accountable.

[00:06:57]The children that bullied my son are not being held accountable.

[00:07:00]The The children that assaulted my son, if you will, they're not being held accountable. You're saying beyond suspension or maybe expulsion, there needs to be more. Correct.

[00:07:11]>> Mhm.

[00:07:12]We have to be holding them accountable.

[00:07:15]But, not only do we want to see a legislative change, but one of the things that my organization is going to do is partner with Tara and utilize the tools that she has created. While we can hold these kids accountable to their actions, we really need true reform. And that comes with the power of education. And that's the bottom line. The mentorship, the education, and the parenting. Listen, we are out of time for a conversation, but you'll be able to find on our website how you can learn more about the work that both of you do, and but I don't want to run out of time because you have turned your experiences of your past into the music of your future. And so, coming up after the break, you are going to hear from Encore, who raps under the stage name E N C. Stay tuned this conversation. You ready? I was born ready, right?

[00:08:05]>> born for this. Yes, indeed. We'll be right back.

[00:08:13]>> [music]