Best HFY Stories: Human Compliments

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:01]Captain Steven Moore glanced over from his screen of cargo infantry tables to see a blue forearmmed reptilian figure hurry out of the station side airlock and speed walked down the passageway towards his room. Uncle Steve, I'm back.

[00:00:16]Jeeves, you're back early. Is everything all right? Yep, everything is fine.

[00:00:22]Scrinting his eyes at the face of the adolescent rapidly retreating down the hall, he called out just before the figure rounded the corner. Hold it.

[00:00:31]Getting up from his chair, he walked over to take a closer look. On the left side of his face was a patch of scales that were slightly discolored. The color of the root shifting from blue towards purple. Even more suspiciously, the pattern of the discolored area had the distinctive outline of the shape of a hand.

[00:00:49]Looking directly into his eyes, the man spoke, "Jes, did you get into a fight?"

[00:00:56]G shuffled nervously, hardened scales chiming with the motion. No.

[00:01:03]The man's eyebrows bounced up as he pointedly stared at the handprint, then back.

[00:01:09]It doesn't really count. It was only once, and she did say sorry.

[00:01:14]With a sigh, the man guided him over to the table and sat down, motioning over to the chair on the other side. So, how did the not really a fight happen? Well, there was this lady who was looking sad with a drink. A drink? Wait, you were at the bar? Well, you never specifically said I could. Stuttering to a stop at the look. He cleared his throat before continuing. I promise I didn't try to drink any ethanol. Also, I had a good reason to be there. Go on. Well, you said it would be a good idea to get some practice with some other languages besides standard. I did. And you said I could spend the evening on the station as long as I stayed in the public areas of the outer ring. Yes. Well, I used a compliment at the bar and then they got mad.

[00:02:00]A compliment? Are you sure that was it?

[00:02:04]I promise. And I think she might have hurt her hand on my scales, too.

[00:02:10]The man put his head on his hands with a groan. Jeeves, you better start at the beginning and leave nothing out.

[00:02:19]One hour earlier, Jack Tavas Tantoaf Jeves stood in the corner of O'Neal's pub, letting the din of dishwear and conversation wash over him. But even as he enjoyed the environment, he kept an ear out for one language in particular because he was here on a mission. After all, where else would you find people speaking old Earth languages in general, and Interstellar English in particular? Sure, he could talk to the shopkeepers in the prominard, but they were probably busy.

[00:02:48]And yes, he could just talk to uncle on the ship, but where was the fun in that?

[00:02:55]So, he stepped forward, walking down the rows of tables filled with sentience of every type. Ship's crew conversing with traders and travelers over bowls and mugs, adding their own streams of sound to the ambiencece.

[00:03:07]Then he heard it from the barrel on the back wall, populated primarily by humans in their ones and twos.

[00:03:13]Walking over, he nodded as he heard the barkeep taking orders in English.

[00:03:18]Looking over the people seated on the stoalls with their drinks, he saw a human woman sitting alone, wearing a ship's cruise jacket, flanked by empty stools to each side and staring into a freshly refilled glass.

[00:03:30]He was almost vibrating with excitement.

[00:03:32]This one will work great. He just needed something good to cheer her up and get a conversation moving. Perhaps some kind of compliment. But which one to use?

[00:03:43]appearance. Beautiful. Maybe great smile. No, very much not smiling. Maybe he should just say hi. Nah, where was the fun in that?

[00:03:55]Standing off to the side, he thought through a list of compliments he had heard humans use. Perhaps something about confidence.

[00:04:03]There was one he had heard before, and it had certainly cheered them up. Then holding his translator up in his lower left hand, he typed out his command to avoid it being drowned out by the noise of the room. Translator, show definition of stud. Hm. Male four-legged pack animal from Earth related to animal husbandry. Famous for use as a mount, strong and fast. He nodded. Compliments based on famous animals were pretty common among several different species.

[00:04:31]This should work. and translator display closest related word for female equivalent. Show definition.

[00:04:39]He glanced through the listing. Earth creature similar references to animal husbandry. Oh, it was one of the human's famous companion creatures. This would be great.

[00:04:51]Ignoring the warning shake of the head from the bartender, he hopped onto one of the stools and turned to the human who was giving him a sideon look with a single blurry eye.

[00:05:01]Leaning in with his best attempt at a human smile, he gave the human a wave with both right hands and raised his voice over the den. Hi, Whap.

[00:05:12]In the present.

[00:05:15]The man took a deep breath and lifted his head from his hands. Jeeves, that wasn't a compliment. But they mean the same thing. Well, they aren't exactly.

[00:05:25]Is it the animal? Are the reputations of male horses and female dogs that different? I thought humans liked dogs.

[00:05:33]He shrugged with a sigh, raising both hands. This is one of those cases where your translator won't be much help to you. Sometimes there is what a word means and then there is what a word means. In this case, stud is used as a compliment while is used as an insult. Usually. Usually.

[00:05:54]The man leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. Well, sometimes it is used within some friend groups within some cultures as a kind of compliment. Wait, the friends insult each other on purpose. Yes and no. In that particular context, what would normally be insults instead became signals of commodery.

[00:06:12]Sometimes, because being called a name like that shows they are part of the friend group, it can even be a slight to not give them an embarrassing name as it marks them as an outsider from the rest of the group.

[00:06:22]After a pause, he continued, "Well, unless the name is being used in a mean-spirited way, then it is an insult again, but seeing that mostly comes down to tone and body language, and you will be able to tell that with experience."

[00:06:36]Jeieves stared at him, all four palms pressed against the table. "So, you are telling me that a word that is a compliment can become an insult, despite nobody caring what the word actually means. But only sometimes because if the insult is used in the right friend group, it becomes a compliment. Because if the insults that become compliments aren't used, then they might be accidental insults.

[00:07:01]Unless they are used differently in that same context, at which point the insults that become compliments go back to being insults again.

[00:07:09]And you figure all this out through experiencing it.

[00:07:15]After a long pause, the man hummed and nodded. That sounds about right.

[00:07:19]G's threw up his hands. Well, that's stupid. What about the other old Earth languages? Do at least they make sense.

[00:07:27]With a chuckle, the captain rose from his seat. Nope. All the Earth languages I know of do similar things of their own. Now, come on. We're going for a walk on the station.

[00:07:37]Jeeves froze. I'm not grounded. Well, that depends on if the bartender agrees with you or not. In any case, it has been a while since I last talked to him, and now seems like a good time.

[00:07:48]The captain turned around holding his jacket, a playful smile on his face, to give him my compliments.