This analysis incisively frames Draco’s "promotion" as a psychological trap, proving that achieving one's darkest desires is often the ultimate form of imprisonment. It masterfully exposes the tragic irony of a character whose only real agency begins at the moment of his total disillusionment.
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Chapter 6: Draco’s Detour | Half-Blood Prince
Added:[music] [music] [music] Welcome, dear listeners. I'm Jonathan Carlin.
>> And I'm Benjamin Carlin, >> and we invite you to join us through the Gryffindor, your one-way ticket to the enchanting world of Harry Potter. So grab your wands and dust off your broomsticks and join us as we unlock the potion stained pages of the Half-Blood Prince chapter 6 Draco's Detour.
[laughter] >> As you're whenever you're reading, I'm trying to like like pantoime along every Do you know that I'm doing that? Yes.
Oh, okay. Okay. Um and you got to chapter six and I was like I I think I was thinking it was chapter five. So I was like hold up one hand.
>> 51 51. I end up doing this, which is just about as far as humanly possible from six >> loser.
>> It was Yeah, like one thumb out and index finger out. So, I got I got like an L going on.
>> Um anyway, so that's the end of that story. But, uh taking a look at chapter 6, Draco's Detour. Um and also just sort of like this chapter as like an overview in general. Um there's there's a bunch of cool things going on. Obviously, we get to go to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.
Uh spend a little bit of time at the burrow. Uh, we get to go back to Borggan and Burks. Um, catch a glimpse of of Draco being up to no good whatsoever.
Um, a bunch of things I'm excited to point out in this one. Tons of trivia.
>> Tons of trivia, tons of foreshadowing, tons of setup happening in this chapter.
>> Absolutely. Absolutely. But then when you look at the chapter art, it's kind of like an interesting one too because you've got Draco's detour, the chap which is going to Borgen and Burks, but what we actually see in the chapter art is the scene at Madam Malcans where he is like wearing the unhemmed robes, right?
>> Um but he is standing before a mirror.
>> Yeah.
>> And I feel like that that particular selection just gives me like kind of mirror of a vibes.
>> I mean I literally wrote very mir mirror of arasedesque next to it.
>> Okay. Well, there there we go. That's I'm glad that we were on the same page for that one. But what I find to be particularly interesting is that like as the book goes on, I think that Draco is going through a massive evolution. And a lot of times I feel like Halfblood really is the I mean, and and this goes without saying, I think for Draco's arc, it kind of is the pivotal moment because up until like now, he has always been able to like rely on his father, right?
you know, and it's it's always like he's never had to really step forward himself completely and put himself like in the line of duty, right, in danger. He's never actually had to like do anything.
He's just kind of like living on the Malfoy reputation. Um, but so if you wanted to just apply the mirror of Edgar said for a moment, the idea would be like when Dumbledore quizzes Harry about it, he says if the happiest man in the world looked into the mirror, he would see nothing but himself. You know, like his own reflection. And the idea is that like just who he is as he is is exactly what this person already wants, >> right? They're perfectly content. They want for nothing.
>> Fundamental contentment. Yeah. Um, so what I think is kind of interesting about this is that Draco is mirrored exactly as Draco is. And so I would almost say like in this moment Draco like and of course it's not the mirror of error said so I'm reading way too much into it but like if you wanted to give it that lens it's almost as if like at this moment Draco is the death eater Draco. He he still hasn't really had to like do it >> right. Um, but I think that like in his heart he believes that is what he is.
>> I know. Well, it's like if you think because I want to in the first book, one of the things Dumbledore tells Harry about the mirror of Ara said is that or or about the the sorcerer stone is that people have a bad habit of wanting the things that are the worst for them or whatever. Yes.
>> And he says like as much life and as gold as anyone could want, you know?
It's like it's like what Hermione says, there's more important things, you Right.
>> Um, and he also tells Harry that men have wasted away in front of it wondering if what they see is, you know, even possible.
>> Right. Yep.
>> Right. But so I think yeah, what the imagery is going for here very much is that Draco is effectively staring back like at the mirror of Arad and he at this moment seems to have everything he claims to have wanted. You know, he is head honcho. He is a death eater. He is fully realized by Voldemort in the way that he feels he was destined to be since the moment he stood stepped foot in Hogwarts. True. You know, like he no longer has to rely on his, you know, father, he is now the man. His dad's in jail, you know, he is like >> this is appar like if young Draco had looked in the mirror that night, this is what he would have seen, right?
>> You know, and now here he is. And I think you're we're going to contrast this particular scene very heavily later when Draco was in the bathroom with moaning Myrtle. I don't know if they do it in the book, but in the movie for sure, Draco is staring in the mirror again. You're absolutely right.
>> And he has recognized the reality of the situation and like what he has is the furthest from what he wants.
>> Exactly. Yeah. And it's like I mean I think a lot of that you know when we talk about Draco it's almost like you you can only empathize with him so much because he is just like unwaveringly horrible. Um but like the the like olive branch I've always been willing to like extend to this character is that like he is he's been brainwashed effectively by Lucius, right? you know, like his entire life as to like what is important and what it means to be a contributor and like whatever. And and probably in a lot of ways, Lucius is even doing the old like former high school quarterback regailing, you know, his son with the glory days of how amazing he is and everything because Lucius is pretty inept honestly in terms of like his ability to get things done.
>> Oh, he's terrible at it. He's the worst Death Eater. He he really is like he he's so unaccomplished. But one way or another, this is Draco thinking he's being bestowed this great honor. Kind of like what Bellatrix says, you know, like that she wishes she had a son who could be granted the right, you know, to to do such a thing or whatever. Um, >> of course, Narcissa, who was also going to be in this scene, knows a lot more, I think, than even Draco himself knows.
Yeah. because she like I think a lot of her confidence in this chapter is sourcing from the fact that she knows she has Snape at Draco's back unbeknownst to Draco.
>> Yes. Yeah, I think you're right. Um it's reminding me a lot of a um a Lincoln Park song actually.
>> Unexpected but well it's like it's it's one of the songs that play a lot in the show um uh Arcane.
>> Okay.
>> Which is just one of it's a really really great show if you haven't seen it. Um, but uh what what the the heavy lyric is, it says, "This is what you asked for. Heavy is the heavy is the crown." And I feel like that is exactly what Draco is going through in this book. It is like, "This is what you asked for. How does it feel?" You know, [laughter] and it's just like it is not good.
>> No. No. He He is about to get like a little taste test of what Harry has been going through for the past 5 years, you know? It's just sort of like it's like oh oh like you you keep making fun of him for all these like whatever scenarios he comes out of and like oh Harry Potter the great hero blah blah blah and it's like yeah you're about to find out just how hard it is and how absolutely miserable it is and how even if you succeeded in killing Dumbledore and if people celebrated you probably are not going to celebrate yourself because you're going to have discovered that you hate this.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Here's here's like the one of the the um what is the section of the song anyway? Here's here's one of the the lyrics. It goes, "This is what you ask for. Heavy is the crown. Fire in the sunrise. Ashes raining down. Try to hold it in, but it keeps bleeding out. This is what you ask for. Heavy is the crown." Just like, "Yeah, this is Draco's life." This book. [laughter] That's Draco's life. This book. Also, you should listen to the song. It is a banger.
>> We are going to absolutely have to make an edit of Draco to this song.
>> We are going to have to make an edit. Oh my gosh. Oh man. E Ethan is going to be all over this.
>> That would be such a good one. That would be such a good one. That feels like a good just sort of like uh like public facing Patreon post. So if you just want to go and like give it a little taste test.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go on over there.
>> There you go. Check it out. Um okay.
Anyway, Jay, so let's go ahead and dive on into the chapter here. Do you want to kick it off with the first sentence?
>> Oh, of course we do. Harry remained within the confines of the Burrow's Garden over the next few weeks and then the dragons arrived. [laughter] Like you know what? I thought I was safe. I stayed by the gardens and nope.
Oh my god. And I literally wrote like, "So, what was even the point?
>> What was even the point?" You know, even the point, you know, you had fun, >> right? [laughter] It's like, "What does Dumbledore tell him that it would be like terribly rude to try to sneak off while they're like under such tight >> Oh my gosh. I know restrictions, which he's going to do. He does it in this chapter."
>> He does.
>> You know, he likes things off. I'm like, "Wow, really not listening to Dumbledore here.
>> Not at all, Harry.
>> Although, to be fair, he is using the invisibility cloak, which Dumbledore did instruct him to to keep on him at all times. And and to make up for it, he's just going to gaslight Molly.
>> It's literally my final note of the chapter is like, ah, good oldfashioned gaslighting.
>> It's like, how dare you, Harry, the chosen one, Potter.
>> Seriously, when it comes to Molly, someone who sees you as a son, you tell her the truth.
>> You tell the truth.
>> That's right. That's right. Um, but anyway, yes, we actually get like what feels like should be this like ultimate summer break. Spending time with your best friends, getting to go and play suicide Quidditch in the orchard all day, every day. Like everything about it sounds amazing.
>> He and Hermione, that's his teammate, though.
>> That that is >> not even This is a great opportunity just to to team up with Jenny. Look who he chooses. How about that?
>> In the name of keeping things fair, >> you [laughter] know.
>> Sure. Could you imagine if it was Ron and Hermione versus Harry and Jenny? I mean, they would absolutely slaughter them.
>> They would. But this is like this is like before Jenny is even a known entity at Quidditch, isn't it?
>> Ah. [sighs] >> Oh, no. She plays last year. Yeah, she played last year. Okay. Okay.
>> Oh, yeah. Cuz she catches the kind of like slow snitch.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. You're right. So, anyway, she is a known entity at this point, but even so, you know, I guess I guess Harry must be really good if it's still even. with Hermione who I have to imagine is just like sort of out there for the laws, >> especially when you consider the fact that Jenny goes on to be a professional Quidditch player. So you've got like an upand cominging professional and Ron who technically is actually pretty good when he's not like under pressure, >> which this shouldn't be.
>> Which this shouldn't be.
>> Unless you try to impress Hermione or something. Maybe that's why this is fair because Ron's like, "Oh wow, Hermione is so good. I can't even stop a goal from you. [laughter] That's quite an arm you've got there." What was that? Like 3 m an hour on the quaffle. [laughter] It's It's reminding me of like the the Hermione like running slow jokes that we've made. It's like >> Yes, it's exactly what it is.
>> Her her sheer athletic prowess is absolutely oozing out of her.
>> You should try out for Quidditch. Then we can hang out all the time.
>> But could you can you imagine like it basically says that like he spent most of his days playing Tuicide Quidditch at the Weasley's Orchard. Uh and it says Hermione was dreadful and Jenny was good. And it's like, can you imagine if you're Hermione and you wake up every morning and everybody's like, "So, what do you want to do today?" And they're like, "To a sad quitage." And Hermione's like, >> it's like, >> "No."
>> Like, I would really rather not. And then be LIKE, "WE'LL MEET YOU OUT THERE."
>> YEAH. It's like, >> "If you don't come, the teams won't be even and everyone will be mad at you."
So, >> Exactly. Yeah. [laughter] Everyone will be mad at you. That's on you.
>> That's on you. It will be your fault.
>> You chose this path.
>> Yeah. There's a lot of gaslighting in this chapter.
>> There is. There is. Yeah. Her Hermione on the other hand is like, "You guys owe me like like 60 library hours when we get to school >> at least."
>> Yeah. Um but yeah, so here he's having fun. He's hanging out with his friends.
Um he's eating delicious, you know, triple helpings. Mrs. Weasley's excellent cooking.
>> Yeah.
>> Um but then of course obviously the scene is kind of sullied by the fact that there is daily news about what is happening out in the world.
Specifically, a lot of it comes down on Harry's 16th birthday. Yeah. Um where we have um grizzly tidings brought to the party by Reis Lupin, who's looking gaunt and grim.
>> Some choice words I dare say for this particular book because Gaunt is of course going to be the family that Voldemort is from.
>> True.
>> And Grim would have been Sirius who just died.
>> True.
>> So yeah. So looking Gaunt and Grim indeed.
>> That's right. Yeah. that I I wonder if this is like one of those things where like the naming conventions kind of get you to like Gaunt is a good last name for these people who are sort of like >> Gaunt, right? You know, >> they're sort of the times.
>> Exactly. Yeah. But then it's sort of like but I need those descriptors for other reasons because they're useful, right?
>> And it's like, well, there you go.
>> Now it's just all, you know, it's all it all sounds so familiar.
>> That's right. That's right. Uh we have a couple more Dementor attacks. Um, and they've found Igor Karov's body in a shack up north, which I just think is kind of like an interesting piece of trivia there because it's like who um who did they find dead or who was reported dead on Harry's 16th birthday, right?
>> Um, Igor Karkerov.
>> Yeah, that's a nice little character to just go ahead and kill off is just like, yep, just close that branch, show how bad the Death Eaters are, even towards their own kind.
>> Exactly.
>> Yep. Easy person to kill off who has some like actual weight to his name.
Isn't it funny though how like Slugghorn is like trying to hide from the Death Eaters but isn't seen in such a negative light as Karkarov who also abandons the Death Eaters agenda. It's like it's like there's something about like the way Karkarov abandons it that just seems like cowardice.
>> Well, cuz he was a Death Eater and he leaves. Slugghorn never was.
>> That's a good point. That's a good point. Um then we get mentioned um because Lupin says that he uh I'm surprised he stayed alive for even a year after deserting the Death Eaters.
Sirius's brother Regulus only managed a few days as far as I can remember.
>> Incorrect there, Lupin. Well, maybe it is. Maybe he turned off and then went to the cave and then he died and they were like, "That was it. Voldemort got him."
>> Um but of course Lupin doesn't know the whole story at all. But more importantly, this is like the third chapter in a row we're mentioning Regulus Black. That was exactly I actually went back and checked it. So we get mention of Regulus because obviously like when we get to like the RAB thing at the end, it's almost like there are the breadcrumbs were left for you. Like this is a solvable theory. Uh and on that exact note, it was the first ever theory that was ever pitched to me about the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
>> And it was correct.
>> And it was correct. Yeah. Um and so uh it's kind of interesting. Yeah. So in chapters 3, 4, and six, we get mention of Regulus. And it's just kind of a way to kind of like continuously keep him on the radar, you know, like it's not it's not like the type of thing that's like in broad daylight, but if you're reading for the first time, you get to the third mention, it's kind of like, okay, this guy's name keeps coming up. Like that's got to be relevant.
>> And he's been mentioned in the last book, too, when Sirius was going over the family tree, >> right? Yeah. Also true. It's a very long like deferred introduction and it's done well so that like when you finally get this full backstory from Creature, you're not just like, "Wait, Sirius had a brother? What?"
>> Also true. Also true. Yeah. So, we'll have three books worth of like, you know, continuity there to kind of keep the keep the ball rolling. It's it's almost the same thing hilariously as Sirius where he is mentioned in the very first chapter of book one, right? You know, because uh Hagrid's borrowing the motorbike obviously. And so it's kind of like then you have Sirius Joe back up later. It's the same thing. It's like well we actually already heard of him before. You know this is this is not first mentioned. So it's that yeah kind of delayed introduction that we always talk about. Uh okay. So then we also get mentioned that uh Florian Forescu has been abducted. Um which also is kind of like one of these things where I was like man when you really start to like zoom back if you want to be like super cynical towards uh Voldemort's plan.
It's almost like step one, abduct the ice cream shop guy. Step two, take over high school, right?
>> You know, it's like it's like we we have Ollivander taken, which I mean, for for obvious clarity, like Ollivander is a huge get in terms of like intel and information and, you know, unknown branches of magic with wand and stuff like that. Florian is kind of like, is it because like his grandfather used to be a former headmaster? Like >> I don't know. It feels like I know it feels like the ambitions of a 12-year-old. It's like I'm going to run this school someday and I'm going to own the ice cream shop.
>> Unlimited free ice cream >> and I'll have as much free ice cream as I want.
>> That's right. But then the other kind of interesting thing about the mention of Florian here is that it's supposed to be not a delayed introduction because we already know about Florian from back when. Um, but the additional lore, if you want to go into like the archives, basically go on to say that Florian was helping Harry with his history of magic homework >> back in year three.
>> Back in year three, which was supposed to maybe like establish him as a mild authority on the subject of history, right? And ultimately what they were intending to do was to have Florian reappear in book seven to explain the Deathly Hallows to Harry. But then Xenophilius was just like an overall better fit because you got to have that like love good cloud cuckoo lander. They believe in things that seem far-fetched but sometimes they're just correct, right?
>> Um and so Florian basically has this moment of abduction which feels just utterly ridiculous but it's because he was meant to have a bigger role. and then just as far as anybody is concerned dies just off page.
>> Yeah. So, it's really just an abandoned plot line that's put in here. But in the meantime, it just sounds like even someone as innocent as the ice cream vendor isn't safe, >> right? Well, there's also that. Yeah.
Take something as innocuous as as that.
And I mean, and then when you get to like the uh the the line from Molly where she's reading like the you know poo thing from the Weasley's and she's like they'll be murdered in their beds.
It's like well maybe honestly [laughter] friend George maybe you should maybe you guys should be careful. Yeah.
>> Um, but this is also going to be a thing where Harry's going to chime in and say that, you know, oh, Florian, he's the one who owned the ice cream place in Diagon Alley. He used to give me free ice creams >> once every half hour.
>> Once every half hour. Exactly. Which I was like, wow, that's big chosen one energy because it's also like Florian, you're running a business here, you know, and it's like everybody else Harry is talking to, it's sort of like it's this is a small humble brag on behalf of Harry because like Harry, you you understand everyone else has to pay for their ice cream, right? Right. You see, it's a little weird that just because you're famous, you don't have to pay, even though you're the richest one here.
All of us who don't have any money have to go pay for ice cream. But no, no, you get it for free.
>> That's exactly right. Yeah. So, Harry is going to have a very Harry is special chapter, and I will continue to point out these moments as we go forward cuz I think that there are maybe four more.
>> Oh, man. Do we need like Harry is special buttons?
>> Yeah, exactly.
>> Oh, I'm special. Oh, I'm special.
>> My mom would have told me so. [laughter] >> Oh my gosh. Okay, so you know though this like my student is like an or you know my child is an honor student at whatever you know it's like uh like my child is the chosen one or something.
There's got to be like a bumper sticker that Lily and James could have owned.
>> Right. Right.
>> That would refer to Harry.
>> Yeah.
>> Old hair bear.
>> Um [laughter] okay. So anyway, >> my child is the chosen one at Hogwarts.
>> Yeah, exactly. [laughter] The chosen one.
>> The >> um but yeah. So then then we kind of get just sort of this like, you know, uh Ron's going to be like, "Well, why?" And I think Bill is just going to be like, "Well, who knows? He must have he must have upset them somehow." Um and >> nope. I mean, that's not why. It's because of the abandoned plot line.
>> Oh. Oh. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.
Yeah, you're absolutely right. I I was like, "Wait, do you know something I don't know?" No. No. Okay. We already covered that. Uh, and then M Mr. Weasel is going to chime in and say like talking of Diagon Alley, looks like all of gone too. And it's almost like should have left with that.
>> Should have left with that. Bigger deal.
>> Bigger bigger deal on the whole. Yeah, absolutely. And she's like the wand maker. And it's like who else? Who else?
>> Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. The wand maker.
>> Yeah. No. Do you know? Do you know another Ollivander or >> is this just us being pretentious because we've read the books like 9 million times and it's like who doesn't know who Ollivander?
>> Who doesn't know who Aleander is? Yeah.
The one maker. No. Nope. It was Hemingway Ollivander actually.
[laughter] >> Did you just make that up? Okay.
>> Yep.
>> Hemingway Ollivander.
>> Hemingway Ollivander sold um bits and bobs better in diagonally.
>> Are your ordinary wizarding bits and bobs?
>> Yeah. Okay, cool. That doesn't seem like a big deal, you know.
>> Yeah, exactly. Um but yeah, so uh shops empty, no sign of a struggle. No one knows whether he left voluntarily or was kidnapped, which is even kind of like ominous in its own right because Harry goes and obviously gets his wand from him. Harry's wand is like deeply connected to Harry, the character himself. Um, and sort of the overall battle between Voldemort and, you know, him. Um, but it the Harry also sort of has this like unsure feeling about >> Elevator, which I feel like could be the kind of thing where like if you were going to like aggressively read into it, it may be like, oh, was he actually like not good? Is that like terrible but great line? Actually kind of like Ollivander drooling.
>> Yeah, he's like terrible, you know?
Terrible.
>> Yeah, he's a baddie. Wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink. Not not terrible but great. Terrible and great. terrible and great. Yeah. Um and then you get this line though. It's like but wands.
What do people do for wands? And Lupin's like, "Ah, they'll make do with other makers." And it's like, "Will they >> will they? Who were who were the other makers?
>> Who who we talking here?" Lupin names.
>> Yeah. You got another wand maker on the shop.
>> Exactly. Because as far as I know, everybody gets Ollivander. So, it's like if you're another wand maker in Diagon Alley, it's like you're almost like, "Heck yeah."
>> Right. This is I business is booming.
>> Absolutely booming. Yeah.
>> I can't help. Yeah. I mean, if I was in like now, not for nothing, but like Ollivander like left in the middle of the war. I was the only one selling wands and we won the war during that time. Yeah.
>> Right. Exactly.
>> That's what I'm saying, >> right? Yes. Yes. Ex. You know, I think the thing that really turned the tides is is all those all those wands we sold.
>> Our wands won this war.
>> Just to keep in mind, I think Harry's wand cost seven gallions. We tend to estimate there are about 40 new students entering Hogwarts each year. basically five boys, five girls for each of the the four houses. So that means he's he I mean whoever this other wand maker is can be making as much as 280 gallions.
>> 280 gallions this year. You know what I'm saying?
>> That's right. That's right.
>> Right. That's like a apparently your whole year's worth of sales.
>> Right. Right.
>> A few occasional breaks, you know. We'll we'll round it up to an even 300 gal.
>> There we go. There we go. Do we remember how much Dobby gets paid?
>> It is like 10 gallions a month, I think.
>> Is it 10 a month or or Okay. Okay. Okay.
So he I mean Dobby's making 120.
>> I know. He's I mean gez, you know, just just working at Hogwarts.
>> I mean, exactly.
>> And he talked him down to that.
[laughter] >> That's right. That's right. Um so anyway, wand making not lucrative although possibly interesting and fulfilling.
>> Yes.
>> Um >> I mean either either way though, like getting rid of Ollivander is a solid blow in many ways to like wizard infrastructure in London.
>> It really is. Yeah. I mean, you're you're talking about like sort of and it's not intentional in that way. Like that's not why he's doing it. But if you were to think of it almost like the curse on the defense against the dark arts position, it's like, hey, wound the very tree that produces the fruit that is opponents, right?
>> You know, and it's like then then, you know, people aren't well trained against me, right? Um, so everybody basically f, you know, after the curse is enacted probably starts to be on this like downward slope because you have no consistency, >> right? Yeah. You have no consistency.
And here with the wands gone, it's like you can see like one year's worth of this isn't going to be like a massive deal. But if you control the only wand maker, the only, you know, weapons manufacturer effectively as well then, >> you know, like some 20 years into the future, then you can force everyone to come to you to get a wand, right? you know, you'll have t and if you don't like them, you just don't give them a wand. Like, you can control exactly who gets them. You know, it's like pure bloods only, death eaters only, maybe.
>> It's a it's a pretty massive regulatory step. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
Absolutely. So, uh but then we also get another uh you know, Harry important moment number two, uh which is that when they get their Hogwarts letters, Harry's included a surprise. He had been made Quidditch captain.
>> Booyah.
>> To which Oh, go ahead.
>> Oh, yeah. It's like Dumbledore was like I thought maybe you had a little too much respons too much on your plate or whatever for why he didn't make him a prefect to which makes which makes me think this is a MC G decision. McGonicle is like, "Listen, listen. You know what?
It's time, okay? You can't you can't keep depriving, you know, it's like, sure, there's the great battle and the, you know, chosen one and all that type of stuff, but like we got to win Quidditch.
>> We got to win at Quidditch." It's like Dumbledore. I understand he's got a lot going on, but think of the real priorities here.
>> House Quidditch.
>> McGonagal's like hiding like behind the apple trees in the orchard just literally being like, "It's suicide."
Harry's got Hermione and he's still crushing them.
>> He's still crushing them. He doesn't even play chaser, you know. Exactly.
>> Play chaser >> cuz you know there's not like snitches out there.
>> Ain't snitches. Just Her just just McGonagal snitching back to Dumbledore.
Like Yeah.
>> It's suicide. Suicide. Harry's like Harry and Hermione are undefeated. You cannot believe this. I'm making him captain. I'm doing it.
>> I'm doing it.
>> You can't stop me. I'm putting I'm putting in the envelope now. Nope. Nope.
I'm doing it. Albus, I'll hang up this owl right now. [laughter] Okay.
>> I'll hang up this owl.
>> The letter is sent. It's done.
>> That's it. It's gone. There's no there's no getting it back, >> right?
>> Dumbledore just shoots the owl out of this guy. [laughter] >> Manurva, >> you can't do it. Harry's already got extra license with me. Like, you can't let Reasley go to the prefect bathroom more than Harry. [laughter] You've got to build his confidence, Dumbledore. He needs the soap bubbles.
Think of the laps he can swim in that pool. It'll make him so strong for seeking.
>> Yeah. Um Yeah. But I love this too because it's like this is such like a big deal. like last year wrong got the prefix badge and it was like this whole plot point and everything and then it's sort of like this year Harry is quiddage captain in the first perk that is mentioned from Hermione is that oh that gives you equal status with prefix you can use a special bathroom and it's sort of like she's [laughter] like oh now we can go to the bathroom together Harry >> you know there's a swimming pool in there [laughter] >> should we take a bath >> oh my gosh >> you're right Yeah. I mean, it doesn't it at least when Harry last went into went in, it does not seem like there's like, you know, divergence or anything >> stalls or, you know, Yeah. It seems like it's meant to be like a large public bath almost.
>> Dude, how much fun would it be to like just straight cannonball into like like a bubble bath?
>> I mean, it'd be so fun.
>> It's an experience that we will probably never have. No, >> think about it like that. Yeah.
>> You will never cannonball into a bubble bath.
>> That's unfortunate. Yeah, I know. need a really big bath or a lot of hot water and a lot of bubbles.
>> A lot of bubbles.
>> So much.
>> Now I'm kind of feeling like we got to like find a way to do it.
>> How do we make it happen?
>> How do we I mean cuz I I can't I can't like make it through my whole life without having to down.
>> Look, doesn't your mother-in-law have like a big above ground pool that you just fill up with a hose?
>> I She does have one.
>> Look, I mean, we could hook that hose up to the sink and you know, it's got enough hot water to fill a swimming pool.
>> No, [laughter] we can get like like 4,000 aquarium heaters and just drop them in there.
>> That sounds so safe. It's safe. And >> I'm sure there's enough like power on her, you know, uh, circuit breaker for that, too.
>> Yeah. Ex. We need to like run extension cords from like every individual. I don't know why we're talking about this right now. It's like >> we're trying to make it happen, Brad.
[laughter] >> We're shipping Hermione here.
>> That's right. That's right. Yeah. So, anyway, we'll take the heaters out before we get in so that there's no there's no risk of electrical shock.
>> Here's what we do. We bake a bunch of really big rocks.
>> That would actually not be a bad idea.
And then we drop those in the water and let them just heat up the pool.
>> If I know anything from some of the camping videos that I've watched on YouTube, it is possible.
>> You can boil water with hot rocks.
>> There we go. We'll do it.
>> We'll do it.
>> We need a lot of rocks.
>> That's right. That's right. Okay. Um anyway, so we also discover, well, I think maybe we already knew this that Charlie was the former Quidditch captain from the House of Weasley. Um because Ron sort of like, "Oh, I remember when Charlie wore one of these." And he's like, "Harry, this is so cool. You're my captain." Nep back on the team, I suppose. H I hate the way Jim Dale reads that sentence.
>> I also It is so uncomfortable.
>> Do and I just wrote like several hahas like down the page.
[laughter] >> I like how this is this becomes such a plot point with Cor Mclagen later on where it's like, "Boy, Cormick should have been the keeper. He had a better try out than Ron or whatever." And it's like when Angelina gets captain, she doesn't try Harry out again. She's just like, "You're on the team." You know, this is like Harry has this authority to just be like, >> "Ron, your keeper."
>> Done.
>> End of discussion.
>> End of discussion. Harry didn't have to like compete for Seeker every single year. Why does he have to try out other keepers at all?
>> It's because MC G is really like she's like the the coach.
>> Listen here, Harry. Potter. Potter. Now, you're captain, but I don't expect you to just feel the team we've got. I want you to win. [laughter] Try out Weasley again.
>> That's the real thing. The triyouts are specifically to undermine Rod.
>> Undermine Rod. Yeah.
>> And then and then like Hermione's out there confundring Mclagen and McGonogal's hiding in different bushes.
[laughter] She's over there like, "Oh no, this is backfiring." Maybe maybe McGonagal is is shipping um Harry and Hermione and she's like she's like reading the card. She's like, "Oh my god, no, no, no, no. Hermione and Rod are getting too close. Too close here."
All right, we got to get Harry right up to the same level as Hermione. And then we got to knock Ron down a peg. We got to get him off the team.
>> Offac keeper. [laughter] Oh boy. Uh but he's like, "Oh yeah, last year I ate a bunch of a pound of doxy eggs on a bet from friend George."
>> From friend George, probably. Anyway, that's a past theory. We'll come back to it probably, I'm sure, when we get to Cormarmac. Um okay, let's see here. So then we get the conversation about the trip to Dion Alley, which they're actually going to take in person this year because I'm pretty sure last year in order of the Phoenix, Molly just went without them.
>> Yeah, I think you're right.
>> Yeah, cuz she went to get uh Ron's new room.
>> That's right. Cuz they were all staying at Grimald Place, but now they want to go cuz they want to see Weasley's wizard wheezes.
>> That's right. That's right. Yep. Uh we also get the additional sort of like detail that um they are going to be under like heightened security. They can't go until Saturday because we want to make sure that Arthur can come with us. Um, and right away Ron's going to be like, "What do you think? Somebody's going to be like peeking through a bookshelf at Porsche and Blots." And it totally sets Molly off. She's sort of like, "Uh, if you think security is laughing matter, then you can stay behind and I'll get things myself." And Ron's like, "No, I want to come. I want to see Fred and George's shop." And she's like, "Well, then you better just buck up your ideas, then young man, before I decide you're too amateur to come with us."
>> There you go. Ron's having a pretty supportive page here where he's just like, "Oh my god, so cool. You're captain." He's like, "Well, I want to see friend George's shop." You know?
>> Exactly.
>> Yeah. He's like really He's really lifting everyone up.
>> He's like wingmanning. But then I I mean I was I wrote down this. I was like this is almost the exact opposite of how the Hogwarts letter scene went in Order of the Phoenix where Ron is made prefix and Molly is so proud and like offers to like get him a gift and everything. And here she is talking about how he's too immature to go to Diagon Alley or possibly also back to school at all.
help but notice that despite saying that um you know Harry is as good as a son, he's not getting some sort of like special reward for becoming Quidditch captain. You know, >> you know what that is kind of surprising.
>> You think he's kind of like, "Hey, Mrs. Weasley, I um I was wondering am I going to are you going to get me anything or what are we what are we thinking here?
What kind >> help but notice you got Ron a broom last year?
>> Give me a price range cuz my broomstick's already nicer than Ron's.
Pretty top of the line. Technically, mine's a little bit older, but still better, which is like an important distinction to like all for all of us to keep keep aware of, you know, like two year older model. Um, although there was a golden cauldron that I really wanted on year one. Hagard was a little unsure about it.
>> Model of the solar system, >> you know, we should probably have that, right? We should probably have that.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll keep it at your place. That's fine. That's fine. You know, but like we'll kind of know it's mine. And when people come over, you'll tell them >> you [laughter] whenever you make my favorite triles, you can use the gold cauldron.
[laughter] >> Oh man.
>> Okay. Anyway, um >> like what if Harry sucked? [laughter] >> What? Oh, >> that's a video just instead of like what if Harry was in Slytherin. What if Harry sucked?
>> Yeah. What if he just [laughter] the worst about everything?
Oh man. So anyway, so after Ron gets threatened to not get to go back to school, you have a scene here where uh Bill reaches into his bag and pulls out a full uh you know, just absolutely full money bag to hand to Harry. And Ron's going to be like, "Where's mine?"
[laughter] And he's like, "That's already Harry's idiot," said Bill. I got it out of your vault, Harry, because it's taking about 5 hours for the public to get their gold at the moment. Um, and this I feel like is is another moment where Harry's kind of getting like a little bit of like that that spotlight special treatment. Yeah. You know >> what is wrong thing is happening here that Bill is just like, "Oh, Harry, by the way, got you a bag of gold for [laughter] fun."
Wink wink. Hey, I guess uh happy birthday. You know, [laughter] Ron's like, "Well, you bags of gold."
>> I want one of those bags of gold.
>> You got another one of those for me, Harry. Let's play. [laughter] You want to trade? I'll give you a couple sickles for a few gallions. Good deal. Good deal. One time only. Um >> guys, speaking of gallions, >> yeah, >> the through the Gryffindor gallions arrived in office today and they are gorgeous.
>> I could not be happier with how they turned out. Like there there's like all these like little embellishments and everything that like are included in the design. And I was I was so just like death like deadly curious to see how it was going to turn out. And sure enough, they are beautiful. Like I am I am so proud that it's like something we get to be affiliated with. Yep.
>> So anyway, if you if you want to get one, you can sign up for the Patreon page and annual membership sometime between now and July 31st, 2026.
Uh and we will go ahead and mail you one starting uh early August. So um >> sign up before then to get one cuz you want one cuz they're like they're so cool. Yes, they are. They're so cool.
>> Check the pat we'll post a picture on Patreon so you can see them >> of the official ones.
>> Of the official ones. So go check that out. Yeah, patreon.com/thegroupar.
>> Um, okay. Anyway, so then we also we're hearing basically that the uh like there is a 5h hour wait for the public to get to their gold at the moment. The goblin subtitan security so much. Two days ago, Ary Philpot had a proity probe stuck up his >> phil pot. Yeah.
>> Nailed it.
>> Yeah. [snorts] >> Nailed it. I was I was like I was like where where do you think he's going with this? Stuck up his what? Because I have no guesses. No guesses.
>> No guesses. Yeah. Um, also I was sort of like who who is this Ary Philpot? And so I just went ahead and searched the entire book to determine whether or not he is brought up at any other moment.
And this is the only mention of Ary Philpot. However, there is also a Ary Alderton who is a supposed broomstick [clears throat] designer. Oh.
>> Um, which comes up during the like muggle registration commission, you know, or whatever. Um, muggleborn registration commission. Um, somebody's claiming to be related. So anyway, just two archies. Uh, which is kind of one of those like two nickel moments where it's like >> like Ary, >> is that even a name?
>> It's weird that it happened twice.
>> Yeah.
>> Although maybe short for Archabald.
[laughter] >> I I mean, no, Archie would be like Archabald.
>> Archabald. Okay. Yeah. Um, I was like, "Oh, no, that could be it." Um, anyway, I just thought it was an unusual name, but maybe maybe in in, you know, Britain, it's not.
>> Yeah, there's like a bunch of people named Arch listening like, "Hi."
>> Yeah. [laughter] Wait, wait, wait one second. Yeah, I'm Arill Pot.
>> Yeah, that character's named after me.
>> That's right. That's right.
>> He is always so thoughtful. Purd floor accordingly, stroking Bill's nose.
Stroking his nose.
>> Okay, sure.
>> All right. [laughter] >> You know how people stroke each other's noses?
>> Must be a French thing. [laughter] >> Our French listeners are like, "Don't put that on me.
>> Don't do that."
>> Yeah.
>> They're like, "Don't do that." it. Maybe it's a VA thing.
>> Maybe it's a VA thing.
>> That's a good way to offend no one.
>> Yeah. Right. Yeah. [laughter] >> Um Okay. So then, uh yeah, we kind of get the uh description of making our way to Dagon Alley where one of the special Ministry of Magic cars um was awaiting them in the front yard and Ron's like, "Well, it's good that dad can get us these again." And then right away Mr. Weasel is like, "Don't get used to it.
It's only because of Harry."
>> Right? He is much more important than you, Ron. See, another important >> is I wrote that [laughter] down, too. I was like, cuz he's more important than you, you see.
>> It's like subtext.
>> So, you've got like two situations on the same page where Harry's handed a bag of gold and Ron's like, "Hey, where's mine?" And it's like, "That's Harry's, you idiot." And then you have another one here where Ron's like, "Ah, love these cars." And his own dad is like, "It's only because of your best friend."
>> Yes. So, in the Yeah. And the past two pages, Ron has been like, "Oh, you're captain. I can be on the team." Right?
And Harry's like, "We'll see."
[laughter] Bill's like, "Here's your money. Where's mine?" Well, you don't have any.
Remember, >> you don't have any. Harry does.
>> Nice cars. Not for you. [laughter] >> Don't get used to it.
>> Don't get used to it.
>> Yeah. Um, he's been given top grade security status and will be joined up with additional security at the leaky cauldron 2. Um, which is like one of those things where Harry's just immediately like, h, I don't want to be surrounded by a battalion of orars.
>> Yeah. Right.
>> Sounds miserable.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> But it's not a battalion.
>> No, it's not. It's not. Maybe the size of a battalion, though.
>> Indeed.
>> Yeah. You get it. You get it because it's it's a half giant. [snorts] Um, let's see here. But yeah, so then Harry also includes his invisibility cloak in his repertoire, which is actually something that's Dumbledore specifically told him to keep on him at all times going forward. He's having one of those center of his own universe things. He's like, "It ought to be good enough. If it was good enough for Dumbledore, it ought to be good enough for the Ministry. I don't see what their problem is." And it's like, "I don't think they know about your cloak, Harry."
>> Right. Right. Yes. And he even says that now like though, now that he came to think of it, he was not sure the Ministry knew about his cloak. And I was like, Harry, you barely know about your cloak.
>> I know, right?
>> I drew a little Deathly Hallow, too. You have no idea.
>> You don't even know.
>> That's right.
>> Yep. Um, so then we get to Leaky Cauldron and we find out the security is actually Hagrid. Yay.
>> Yay. And so, so begins. If you'll remember in the last book, they during the train ride to Hogwarts and the train ride from Hogwarts, we had an almost mirror image of what happened but like reversed where everything that went wrong on the train ride there was reversed on the train ride back.
>> Right. So he's like embarrassed in front of Cho because of the stink sap on the way there and then on the way back you've got the cruning uh Mimulus Mimalonia of Visav Neville and Cho comes by and Harry's like I don't even care.
>> Don't even care.
>> And he means it.
>> He means it. And the first time he's like I wish I was sitting with cool people. And now he's like look at my five cool friends.
>> My five cool friends.
>> My five cool friends. We just fought off a bunch of death eat theaters. NBD.
>> Plus we have a cool name. It's called the platinum sex tent.
>> The platinum sex. Exactly.
>> Did you becoming a thing? Was there an N in that word? It's like who's to say?
>> Who's to say? Maybe >> it's becoming a thing. It's on.
>> I didn't stutter. You heard me.
[laughter] >> Anyway, um that's what that's what that's the next coin we have to we'll have we'll have the we'll have like we we'd have a through the Gryffindor like you know nut, a sickle, a gallion, and um a sexment, you know.
>> There you go.
>> We'll have the platinum one.
>> The Yeah. [laughter] >> A little bit of platinum. And it'll be like triangular shaped for no reason.
>> Right. Right. Maybe like a neon sign attached to it as well.
>> Right. Yeah, [laughter] >> that was that was a joke about what you know the the subtext of the Oh, you got it. I got it.
>> All jokes are best when explained.
>> Of course. Of course.
>> Right. Right. Um anyway, then it also says that uh Hagrid is wearing his long beaver skin coat, which I was like, how many beavers do you think?
>> How many beavers? Hundreds of beavers.
>> Hundreds of beavers. [laughter] >> That's a movie you should watch. Also, sorry I brought up the train thing because >> Oh, yeah. Good call. Um, the reason the reason I brought that up is because now that we have Haggard inside the Leaky Cauldron, we are doing the same thing but for Harry's first trip to Diagon Alley. So, every single thing that Harry does on his first trip shall be reversed on this trip. And it feels like, oh, why didn't we do that in book seven? That's cuz in book seven, this won't happen again. Exactly. They'll return to Diagon Alley to break into Gringots, but the return to Diagon Alley before school, this is the last time it will happen.
So, this is why during this book, you're going to get the mirror image effect going on.
>> You're so right. Now that you mention it, like there then there's so many details that are like very specifically like on point for for that particular comparison.
>> Right. Actually, even the one of the first thing Hagrid says is, "I know just like old times, isn't it?" And it's like they're closing a loop here because the same thing has happened um the same thing won't happen in the next book. So they're closing the loop with the first book here.
>> Right. Right. Yeah. Um and then you you Yeah. He even says, "Yeah, like I know just like old times in it." And then he said, "The Ministry wants to send a bunch of ores, but Dumbledore said I do." And this is like, you know, it's another moment where like in the beginning you have or in book one you have like that line from Dumbledore who sort of says like I would trust Hagrid with my life, you know, and then sure enough like going even into the the next little paragraph we have here we go through the leaky cauldron where um again Hagrid is going to be like not today Tom on official Hogwarts business.
>> I think he almost says the exact same thing last time. I think he might just um >> it even says the leaky cauldron was for the first time in Harry's memory completely empty. Only Tom the landlord um was there which is the exact opposite of the first time he enters where Harry comes in. Still just on Hogwarts business but it is bustling with people.
Tom is there. He greets them and then every person in the shop or in the bar notices Harry >> and comes over to >> comes over. Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Doris Crockwood. Pleasure to meet you. I can't believe I'm meeting you in person.
>> That's right. That's right. Um, the other thing I just kind of like not as a little scribble here is that uh it's interesting to me that Ollivander and um Florian are both taken, but Tom is not.
>> It does seem odd.
>> Yeah, because Tom Riddle as a young boy specifically was quite upset about there being a lot of Tom. So, this is the intro to the wizarding world. Go ahead.
any theory because I wrote down something cuz it always mentions Tom being toothless and I'm like wizards can just like magic things back unless they've been like super cursed off or something like why are you toothless I was like why like what happened why is he toothless and I'm like [gasps] >> it's Voldemort Voldemort did something to this guy >> you think so >> because he's another Tom >> cuz so he tried to make him like less special >> right yeah he's like there's only one Tom good enough to be Tom [laughter] and it's not even me I'm changing my name now >> to Voldemort on. But don't say it.
>> Don't say it.
>> You got it.
>> What would you like to call us?
>> Yeah. What What would you like us to call you?
>> Yeah.
>> The the dark lord. Yeah. Dark dark cape.
Bald man. His evil baldness. No. No. Keep going. Keep going. We'll We'll get to that. It's not Tom.
>> I think if we all just kind of have like a little uh >> let's have a little brainstorm sesh. You know, we've all decided what my real name is that we won't be calling me by.
>> Exactly.
>> Everyone good, but we of course still need to address me as something that isn't Tom. So, what do we got? Lucius, you're first.
Never mind. That's a terrible No.
[laughter] Not. What have you got to say? Not [laughter] >> I love the uh the not punching bag.
>> Yeah.
>> Just right there.
>> It's too good. It's too good. Um, but yeah, so then we we make it into he even uses the pink umbrella, which obviously makes sense because it's heard's wand.
Uh, wrapped a certain brick in the wall, which opened at once to form an archway into the winding cobbled street. Diagon Alley had changed. The colorful glittering window displays of spell books, potion ingredients, and cauldron were lost to view, hidden behind the large Ministry of Magic posters that had been pasted over them. Most of these somber purple posters carried blown up versions of the security advice on on the ministry pamphlets that had been sent out over the summer. Yeah. So, just a complete 180 from the first time Harry gets in here and every the street is bustling, the shops are open, there's like lots of commotion and fun happening everywhere. And now it is just completely abandoned, shut down, glum, purple, everything.
>> That's right. Yeah. Uh then you you do see some of the people like the street vendors that Arthur has been going on about selling amulets that are supposedly effective against werewolves, dementors, and infuriating up the cave later.
>> Yep. Yep. So kind of like one of those things. I would say that on the whole I find this to be a detail less well executed is the idea of the Infury because they never really seem to be like Well, they're obviously very big inside of the cave, but it feels like that is like the moment. That's that's their Yeah.
>> That's where they are, >> right? They don't have like there's not like an army of them that helps attack Hogwarts, >> right? And and then even once you go into the cave, it's not like they are the point of the cave like is like fighting or defeating them. They're just sort of like the alarm system that goes off if you beat his challenge, right?
>> So, I don't know. I tend to find the inferior thing to just sort of be inferior.
>> Very good.
>> I was set up too much for that. Um but either which way. Yeah. So, uh, you kind of got this sort of what feels like skezy salesmany type person who's like, "One for your little girl, madam.
Protect her pretty neck." To which I'm just like, "Yuck." Yeah.
>> Quit looking at Jinny's neck.
>> Yeah. Stop admiring her skin. That's Harry's thing.
>> Exactly. Exactly.
>> Then Mr. Whis is like, "If I were on duty and I'm like, you haven't caught this guy yet who's up in broad daylight on the street you work on or you [laughter] know."
>> Exactly.
>> Come on, man.
>> It's like Arthur, he's right there.
>> He's right there.
>> He's not even in hiding, right? He has a cardboard sign tacked to the wall, >> right? Like I mean this is this is like day one on your job is like first thing we're going to do is go to Diagon Alley and stop those guys.
>> Exactly. You you know what? And probably you could just have one of the people who worked for you go do that one.
That's pretty easy.
>> Yeah. Call them on the old owl and um you know get them down here right now.
>> That's right. That's right. Um but then you've also got like a little line here from Mrs. Weasley who I feel like has adapted to Arthur's newfound privileges rather quickly and she's like, "Yes, but don't go arresting anyone now, dear.
We're in a hurry, you know. It's like it's like, oh boy.
>> Wow. Wow.
>> Don't go doing the >> status changes a person, you know.
>> That's right. The old Arthur Weasley one, two, today. We're not arresting Arthur. Come on. We're just buying things for the children.
>> That's right. That's right. Um, but yeah, then we have Madam Malcans first because Hermione wants to do dress robes. To which I was like, for what?
>> I guess I guess Lorn's party.
>> I guess. But she doesn't know about that yet.
>> She does not know about that yet. Maybe it maybe it would come up later. I I have I have no idea. And like also dress robes for whatever reason feels like like I don't feel like what she is described as wearing at the Ule ball is dress robes. I feel like she is wearing a dress.
>> A dress a dress robes. You're right.
>> Um although I'm reading too much into that, I think, you know. That's okay.
That's okay. I think the real point is that um of course when Harry first comes here his first stop is in Gringox because they have to get his gold but Bill already did that. His second stop is Madam Malcans which is now the next stop he's going to again.
>> That's right.
>> Last time he was in Madame Malcans he ran into Draco Malfoy and was completely by himself. This time he will also run into Draco Malfoy but Draco will have his mom and Harry will have Ron and Hermione. That's right.
>> So we everything is different again.
>> Everybody has way more friends than they did last time.
>> Exactly.
>> Draco is his mom. Right. Yeah.
[laughter] Draco is like his only friend.
>> That's right. Best friend. Narcissist, I might say.
>> Yeah. Best friend.
>> Best friend.
>> That's right. Yes.
>> I'm Draco's mother and best friend, Narciss Malfoy.
>> Here's my card.
>> Here's my card. Got it right there.
Draco's mother and BFF.
[laughter] Besties for the resties.
>> I added the stars myself.
>> The stars myself. Draco helped me, of course. He's very good at crafts. Very good at crafts. Maybe you noticed his buttons last year. [laughter] his buttons.
>> Mom, you make me blush.
>> Oh man. So then we there we have um Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Obviously, as for mentioned, uh breaking off with uh Hagrid to go to Madam Falcons where everybody else is going to go to um uh Flourishing Blots. And I feel like this is just like one of those classic instances where it's like you, you know, if it's going to be the trio going off on their own, something's about to happen.
>> Oh, things are always going to happen.
Yeah.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Um, and of course Hagrid was the one escorting Moran last time as well. But so they uh they go over to Flourish and Blot to head inside.
Hagrid, of course, is going to do just the greatest security job ever. He's like, "Don't worry, I'll just stay outside." And they like walk and immediately run into a death eater inside.
>> That's right. [laughter] >> I mean, it's just Malfoy, but still.
>> But but still, he's been branded, I believe.
>> Yeah. Yeah. He's got it. Yeah.
>> Yep. Yep. Um All right. So, let's see here. Yeah. So, yeah, I'll just stand going outside. All right.
>> Yeah. What's going to happen in there?
>> This This is almost funny, too, because it is it not the case that when Harry goes to Madam Malcols the first time, or is it all? No, I think it's Madame Malcans. Hagrid has just gotten off of the uh the little cart going down into the uh to get Harry's cold.
>> Goes over to the leaky cauldron for a pickme up.
>> That's exactly it. Yeah. So, he he also doesn't go in on that occasion, >> right? Yes. But and of course, Harry knew nothing cuz that's when Draco was like, "Of course, I'll be in Slytherin.
Imagine being a Hufflepuff.
>> That's right.
>> And this time, of course, Harry has tons of wizarding wiz wizarding knowledge.
>> He's got that wizarding knowledge.
>> That wizarding. Yeah.
>> Right. Uh then you kind of get like the first drolling voice of Draco Malfoy. Um and it's kind of ironic because literally one paragraph ahead, we have a line uh that says, "Nobody seemed to be shopping alone." And then we cut to uh Draco Malfoy. He's like, "Not a child, in case you haven't noticed, mother. I am perfectly capable of doing my shopping alone." Mhm.
>> And it's sort of I mean some of that probably is like because Draco is like not in danger probably the same way that other people are at Diagon Alley because he is part of the people who are causing the threat.
>> Well, and the irony is that the last time this whole scene played out in year one, Draco was here alone.
>> Oh wow. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Cuz his mother was up the street looking at wands.
>> How about that? Yeah.
>> There we go. There we go. Um Yes. And so then Madame Malcin is going to have basically no control over the scene that's about to unfold uh despite her best efforts. Uh because she's like, "Now dear, your mother's quite right.
None of us are supposed to go out wandering around on our own anymore.
It's nothing to do with being a child."
And Draco's like, "Watch where you're sticking that pin, will you?"
>> Of course, this is offensive to Draco, in any case, as a death eater now because the reason you're not supposed to go out is because of the death eaters. And he's like, "Hey, hey, hey, I'm a death eater.
>> I'm a death eater." Wait, what? What do you think about that? because you think I'm a child.
>> You think I can't make that choice by myself? Okay. All right. All right.
>> Yeah. Um Yeah. So then it says that he stroed over to the mirror and examined himself. Uh and this is obviously the chapter art, so that's what kind of makes it like of of any note whatsoever.
Um and sure enough, he turns around and notices Harry, Ron, and Hermione and says, "If you're wondering what that smell is, mother, a mud blood just walked in." And Madame Malcolin, I don't think there's any need for language like that. Um, and sure enough, Ary and Ron are sort of like, "Yeah, no, I don't think there's a need for language like that either, and we'll just threaten you about it." Yeah. So, they've got their wands out pointing at Malfoy. Hermione, on the other hand, is like, "No, don't.
Honestly, it's not worth it." Yeah, exactly. And he's like, "Yeah, you dare like you dare do magic out of school.
Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers." He's like, he is in full jerk mode right now. He has been rude to his mom, to the shop owner, to Hermione, and then to Hermione again.
>> Yes.
>> Every single thing he has said has been rude.
>> has been rude. So, this this kind of goes back to like what I was saying about like Draco seeing himself as he is in the mirror right now. Like he is just being Draco, you know, like at I mean maybe at like his typical, which is also his worst. Um, and it's like so I I feel like he's not delivering these things out of like, you know, insecurity or something like that. like this is him like embracing who he believes he's meant to be. He just hasn't actually been faced with any of the challenges yet. It's it's almost as if like you've been issued your like your uniform before you've actually gone through like boot camp and so you're like I'm a soldier and it's like well >> yeah I mean as far as he's concerned you know he is basically in the inner circle of the new world order. It just hasn't claimed power yet >> right >> but it's like to him it's just like it's literally a matter of time. This is the winning side for sure and I can do literally whatever I want with no consequences. So, >> exactly. Yep.
>> Yep.
>> Yep. Absolutely.
>> So, then she's uh Narcissus is gonna come try and break it up and says, "If you attack my son again, I shall ensure it is the last thing you ever do." But, um, one, Harry will attack him again later this very year. And in the end, it is Narcissa who will end up saving Harry's life.
>> It is indeed. It is indeed. Uh, and also the phrasing if you attack my son again.
I feel like this is kind of coming on the heels of the train ride home from Hogwarts and Order of the Phoenix where uh Malfoy Crab and Goyle attempted to ambush Harry but did so in front of a uh train car full of former DA members that kind of like >> and they turned them into like a pile of goo.
>> Pile pile of goose slugs.
>> Yeah, goose slugs.
>> That's it. Yep.
>> They're doing nothing for the decor.
>> Exactly. Um but yeah, so uh yeah, so we get the line, I shall ensure that is the last thing you ever do. And Harry's like really going to get a few death eater pals in here, are you? And Madam Malcolm squealled and clutched at her heart, right? Yes. Clutching her pearls.
>> Really? You shouldn't accuse. [laughter] >> Of course, Harry is exactly right. Not only that, it's exactly what Malfoy is planning for later this year is to going to get a few Death Eater pals to do us in.
>> That's right. That's right.
>> Yeah. Yeah, Harry did not lower his wand. Nurses from Malfoy smiled unpleasantly. I see that being Dumbledore's favorite has given you a false sense of security, Harry Potter, but Dumbledore won't always be there to protect you.
>> This is of course alluding to the plan that they have not revealed to us yet.
But as far as narcissis is concerned, she's like, "Look, I personally have ensured that he's going to die cuz either Draco is going to do it or Snape is going to do it and that's that."
>> Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. which I mean maybe does demonstrate a little bit of the amount of faith she places in Snape, right? Like that she is like so certain that he is capable of like >> winning, right?
>> Uh which is which would otherwise I would argue is unlikely. Um but also it's like she's like but Dumbledore won't always be there to protect you.
And it's sort of like as if this isn't also causing you like enormous stress right now. I know. Like the idea of like Dumbledore being defeated is like the number one thing on your mind because if it doesn't happen then Draco's gone.
>> Exactly. Exactly. And then Harry's of course just on fire right now. He's like oh wow. You know it's funny you should say that cuz he's not here right now.
You want to go? You want to go Narcissa?
They might be able to find you a double cell in Asaban with your loser of a husband which I'm like oh [screaming] the backhand.
>> Got her.
>> Got her [laughter] big time. Oh my god.
So good. So good. Malfoy made an angry movement towards Harry but stumbled over his overong robe. Um, this feels like a rare instance where things go poorly for Draco. I feel like where I feel like a lot of times it's like the other way around where this this is the equivalent of like Snape magically appearing.
>> I know. I'm surprised it wasn't like to Harry's horror Snape walked into the shop at that exact moment. Potter, what are you doing? Causing trouble again.
>> That's 50,000 points from Gryffindor.
>> From Gryffindor, right? like you can't do that. So the school hair isn't sorted. Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Potter.
Uh I like how Malfoy retorts though. He says, "Don't you dare talk to my mother like that, Potter." Um but he doesn't really defend his father in this situation. [laughter] >> That's true. That's true. It's like my father might be a loser, but my mother's okay.
>> Okay. Okay.
>> To be fair, that actually is fairly true.
>> That's a pretty Yeah, exact. That's true. Yeah. I don't think Lucius ends it really any better. Narcissa ends the story a little better.
>> She does end it a little bit better.
She's also not a death eater. Um, and she she actually always kind of like interestingly rounds out our uh motherhood trifecta with Lily and Molly where it's like the importance of mother's love in the story. So, um, as much as we don't like Narcissa right this moment, I tend to actually not have a horrifically negative feeling towards her by the end of the story. Yeah, she kind of, if you've watched Toy Story 5 or Inside Out 2, she has a real like anxiety slash lily pad relationship with the characters where it's like she's just doing what's best for her son um at the cost of everyone else. But from her point of view, she's doing what's best.
>> That's exactly it. Yes. Yeah.
Absolutely. So, um but yeah, then then she does throw a pretty aggressive line out there. She says, "I expect Pasha will be reunited with Dear Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius." False. to which I was also like is this kind of like a selfown like right >> like I mean >> you think yeah like don't shouldn't there be plans to get the Death Eaters out of Aszkaban like >> right >> pronto exactly yeah it's like you know it'll be a while before I get my Lucius back you'll probably die >> but you'll probably be dead >> right Harry weighs his wall entire Harry no moan Hermione think you mustn't you'll be in such trouble and it's like no no no I got Dumbledore on my side again is talking to me again and everything. We're taking private lessons like I can get out of anything.
>> The ministry just gave us private cars, Hermione, right? They're not about to expel me.
>> That's exactly it. It's like all all that would happen is Scrim like, "Look, I'll let you off the hook if you just tell the public we're doing a good job."
>> And he's like, "How about you let me off the hook or I'll tell them you're doing a bad job?" [laughter] And he's like, "Oh, crap. I didn't see that one."
>> It was like, "Master negotiator.
>> Master negotiator out. See you later.
See you at Christmas probably, right?
You come to the burrow, everyone's going to be there.
>> I'll be there.
>> Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be awesome.
>> It's gonna be awesome. Jenny might even feed me a cookie and tie my shoes.
>> Sorry.
>> Oh my god. They have got to make Jenny cooler in the TV show.
>> They do. They do. That being said, though, we did just record a episode of our Jay Versus Ben where we have cameos uh of the different Harry Potter cast members coming in to ask us questions.
And we got Bonnie right this time, which we were unable to get the first time because she was like on a trip or something. And it was such a starruck. I was like, >> I was like, yeah, >> I couldn't I mean, it was like, you know, I mean, >> we're watching a recording. It wasn't even like we were talking to her.
>> Exactly. [laughter] But it was still like, oh my god, she she's she's spoken near us.
>> I was like, oh my god.
>> Yeah.
>> She spoke about us to us.
>> Exactly. Yeah. So anyway, no shade towards Bonnie.
>> No. No. Bonnie, right, is amazing. Yeah.
Um, but yeah, the the Jenny can be a lot cooler.
>> Absolutely.
>> In the movies.
Anyway, uh then Draco and Narciss have officially decided that we will not be shopping at this establishment anymore and they're going to go to Twilit and Tattings, which is just good trivia.
What's the other robe shop in Diagon Alley?
>> Man, I feel like you always remember this one, and I always forget this one.
>> Twill fit and tattings.
>> Do you have a way to remember it? Twill and tat. Um, >> it will fit.
>> It will fit. That's probably it.
>> Yeah, it will fit.
>> Yeah, it will fit.
>> And what is the tattings, do you think?
>> And tattings.
>> There's got to be a word play going on there. I mean, it's like it it is after all like Diagon Alley, right?
>> Like diagonally.
>> Nocturnally.
>> You know what I also noticed about Diagon though is that it's just if you if you switch the I for an R, it's just Dragon Alley.
>> Oh, very good. Which if you ever went to Diagon Alley at Universal and you like came around the corner and didn't know any better, you could easily call it Dragon Alley.
>> That would be such a thing. I feel like if I was a kid and went to that street and like hadn't read the books, I'd be like, "Dragon Alley?" Yeah. And then I would grow up and realize that it was Diagon Alley and I'd be like, "No, but wasn't it Dra?" Did like didn't most people think it was Dragon Alley?
>> That's exactly what would happen. It's like you have this misconception that is so supported by so much evidence that it's like, "No, it's Dragon Alley.
Dragon Alley. No, it's Diagon Alley. And he'd be like, "No, it's not." It's like, "It absolutely is."
>> Like, cuz they there's the dra there's the dragon escape. You go to the park, you can see the dragon. It like breathes fire. It's Dragon Alley. It's like so cool. It's like, "No, it's Diagon Alley." Like diagonally like the like a like a shape.
>> Yeah. Right.
>> Like a direction.
>> And like, "No, that doesn't make sense.
Why would it be diagonally?" Like was like It's like noturn alley. Like nocturnally, right? [laughter] >> Like Oh, no. Oh man, >> your arguments are becoming better than mine.
>> Be unfortunate. Be an unfortunate position to be in.
>> Yeah.
>> Um but yeah, so then uh then the Malfoys leave and uh Madame Malcolin's like, "Well, really?" And moves the tip of her wand over them like a vacuum cleaner, which I just think is kind of like a funny thing.
>> Exactly. Yes. And then uh then then she's just like all in a tizzy because of everything that just like went down.
And so she's kind of messing up everything with Ron, Harry, and Hermione's, you know, new dress robes and and the sort. And by the time she finally bowed them out of the shop, it was with an air of glad to be seeing the back of them, >> right? [laughter] So I guess they eventually leave and they go back and talk out to Hagrid and they're all like, "Do you see the mouth?" He's like, "Yeah, but they wouldn't die or make trouble in middle of diagonally Harry. Don't worry about them." And I'm like, "Then why are you even here?" Like, you know, >> who are you worried about?
>> Who are you worried about? That was the Malfoys. Okay. Right. It's like we're we're talking about an actual death eater who hates Harry.
>> Actual death. I mean, you don't know Draco's a mouth like a death eater, per se, but like Lucius was in the department of mysteries. He >> he just attacked Harry like four weeks ago.
>> Right. Right. Harry just imprisoned their father. Like, you know, you don't think they're going to be a problem to Harry? [laughter] Yeah. That was that was You're right.
That was weeks ago at this point. A judge would be like, was there motive?
And it's like obviously there was >> Yeah.
>> All right. Good thing you're there, Hagrid.
>> That's exactly it. But it's also so classic Hagridge. I mean, it's the same way I feel like he always is about like Snape, you know, or like how safely protected the philosopher stone was or whatever in book one. It's just sort of like he's like, "Ah, nah, nothing's probably going on. Nothing to worry about."
>> Right. It's like, well, there were things happening there, Hagrid.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Your house is going to get on lit on fire about it later, too.
look forward to that or actually don't cuz that's kind of upsetting. Um anyway, so uh then we get like another little mention of the fact that uh when they go to the apothecary that Harry and Ron don't actually need any ingredients because they're not going to be studying potions or at least as far as they know.
>> That's what they think.
>> That's right. And it says Mrs. Weasley was checking her watch. Um, which and it says every minute or so, which obviously like we do have like a time frame type situation going on because they told the driver of the cars that it was going to be about 2 hours. But it's also kind of interesting because Molly is carrying her Weasley clock around her house. So just even like checking the watch to me almost wonders if it's like got like the little Weasley hands on it or Yeah.
>> Like it's not like a time watch.
>> Oh yeah, that could be that could be.
You're right. Like could it be like a similar watch that has like mortal peril everywhere? Or is she just so used to looking like at a clock out of like nervous energy?
>> It's got It's like a nervous tick, >> right? Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Nervous tick tock.
>> Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Thank you. Thank you. You got what I was going for there.
Um Yeah. So, but then they do make it or they they are heading towards Weasley Wizard Wheezes off in the distance, which I guess nobody has been to yet cuz every single person seems to be experiencing it for the first time.
>> Yeah, I know. I know. I love when M. We like just have a quick look around the shop and then back to the car. Like a quick look as if. Come on. This is your son's. You got to check this place out.
>> That's exactly right. And plus >> I want to like Yeah. If you're their mom like I want to I want to go upstairs. I want to see where you're living. You know.
>> Yeah. Show me everything. Yeah.
Absolutely right.
>> Uh so they turn the corner though and you kind of have like almost like that that scene from the movies where it's like whoa. And you know it says set against the dull poster muffled chops fronts around them. Fred and George's windows hit the eye like a fireworks display.
>> Yeah. So, it's just sort of like this is like bright colors, packed windows, you know, like things happening >> dazzlingly full of an assortment of goods that revolved, pop, flashed, bounced, and shrieked.
>> It sounds like a lot of fun to me.
>> Sounds like a lot of fun. Yes. Yes, it is. Um, ironically, I think in the movie, the shop is purple.
>> You might be right. Purple and orange.
>> Yeah, purple and orange.
>> That's a good point. That's a good point. And then we have the sign of course that is sort of like the uh it's it's like an oversized um you know ministry pamphlet type thing on that same purple poster board that says why are you worrying about you know who you should be worrying about you no poo the constipation sensation that's gripping the nation [laughter] I just wrote in it's a excellent use of the word gripping gripping the nation.
Oh, you know what the hilarity is that um at this exact moment in the real world, we're having the exact opposite problem >> wherein there is like a real like explosive um sensation >> happening in the nation. Yeah.
[laughter] >> Don't go to Taco Bell right now. You know what I'm saying?
>> I had literally no idea where you were going with that when you started and I was like, what are you about to tell them?
>> You don't know. You know what I'm talking about.
>> I absolutely You know what I'm talking about.
>> Yes. Yes. Now, now that you mention it, I do I do actually know what you're talking about. Um, but yeah, then I I actually really love from just a pure writing perspective the inclusion of this line. Um, Mrs. Weasley gazing dumbfounded at the poster, her lips moved silently, mouthing the name, you know, Pooh. Um, because I feel like this is like a thing you could just imagine Molly doing. It's like so easy for me to just picture the like like just >> like no no no no >> it can't be.
>> They have not done this.
>> They'll be murdered in their beds. She whispered no they won't. This is brilliant. [laughter] >> Ron gets it.
>> He does. Absolutely.
And they love their way into the shop.
So apparently no one's in the streets because literally everyone shopping is just in this one store. there is sort of like an anomalistic nature. I don't even know if that's a word to uh to what's going on here because it's sort of like do you mean to tell me that literally literally every person who is currently shopping at Diagon Alley other than Harry Ron Hermione Jenny >> Draco and Narcissa >> Draco and Narcissa are in this shop >> are in the shop.
>> It's like everyone's like well we should go down to Diagon Alley and it's like you mean for books and stuff? It's like no the joke shop.
>> The joke shop. It's really good. And frankly, we actually know Draco does go shop here. So, >> he actually does. Yes. Because he gets some Peruvian instant darkness powder >> that he does >> that he is going to use during the battle of the lightning struck tower or the astronomy tower, however you want to call it. Um, >> so anyway, we get to finally get to look inside the shop that Harry has financed um and is, you know, get uh, you know, I guess co-owner probably has stock options, I imagine. I >> I mean, almost certainly something, >> right? You think he's getting dividends or >> he's certainly getting free product.
>> Getting free product. That's something.
>> That's right.
>> Yeah. We're sharing that with Ron.
>> I wonder how much he would have to spend over the years to where he like cleared $1,000 worth of product and friend George were like, "All right, man. We might need to start like charging you for some of this stuff. Starting to get a little out of hand.
>> I funded 100% of this shop." Okay. All right. You would be making nothing without me. I'm Harry the chosen one potter and I'll be taking whatever I want. Okay. Mr. and Mrs. Mr. and Mr. Weasley >> or I guess more likely in the future just Mr. Weasley.
>> Oh no, because Ron fills in.
>> Oh, good point. Yeah, Mr. and Mr. Weasley.
>> Yeah, >> Mr. Weasley.
>> Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley.
>> That's it. That's it. Yeah. Um, so then we get kind of like a description of various things including like the trick wands and and the uh reusable hangman.
Uh there's also the box of the quills which came in self- inking, spellchecking, and smart answer varieties.
>> Ooh, they have AI.
>> I literally wrote that. I was like chat GBT trick Wong >> Quill form. Yeah. Do you think people are like where are they getting the information? Where's the magic getting the information? Every time you write an essay, it's stealing it from you, >> right? Yeah. [laughter] Do you think >> magic is tracking your every move?
>> I wonder though if like they're only as smart as like Fred and George's ability to write an essay might be. is like clearly Fred and George are very good at magic, but it's like they're not phenomenal students and they're probably the ones who have programmed the wands.
>> Yeah, that's true. That's true. Um I don't know who's to say.
>> Um the other thing that they're selling that I think is really cool is the patented daydream charms. Uh w simple incantation and you will enter a top quality, highly realistic 30inut daydream. Virtually undetectable. Side effects include vacant expression and minor drooling.
>> I mean I mean come on though. How hard is it to daydream [laughter] motiv? This is like I don't know. Part of this is like the this feels like screens, you know? It's like no, remember when people had to daydream themselves? Now I just cast the spell, you know.
>> Right. Right. Yes. You used to have to use your own imagination and and hopeful ambitions. No, to have a good day dream.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you remember when you have to just sit in class and just like think of something that wasn't school? Like it was impossible. So, so basically Fred and George have written the manual here because we have effectively AI answering your questions.
Uh, and also screen time.
>> Yeah. And screen time. Yeah. You know what? You know what? I don't as I don't know if I love these these charms, you know.
>> Okay. Okay. So, we're we're maybe passing on these.
>> We're passing on these.
>> Fair enough. Fair enough.
>> Wizarding products. Is it a pass or fail? [laughter] >> This is a big thumbs down, guys.
>> There you go. Um, but yeah, so Hermione is going to pop in and say that really is extraordinary magic. And Fred's going to pop in and say, "For that, Hermione, you can have one for free."
>> So little Fredy action. A beaming Fred stood before them. He's like, "Oh, Hermione is here."
>> Goodness me, I'm so excited.
>> You can have something for free. Ron's like, "Oh no, me. Do I get free stuff?"
And he's like, "No, >> I'll knock off a canut."
>> A canut?
>> Yeah, >> that's a canut. It's such a bad Why don't they even have coconuts?
>> Yeah. Why do we even have >> 29 to a sickle? I mean, >> yeah, [laughter] it's >> it's pretty complicated.
>> Pretty complicated math.
>> Yeah. Uh they're wearing magenta robes just as a little piece of trivia there and you can kind of remember it because they clash magnificently with their flaming hair.
>> Do you think this is why Molly can't remember that Ron doesn't like maroon?
Because Fred and George are like magenta.
>> Why not?
>> It looks great on us. [laughter] >> The color choice or the color of choice.
Yeah. Um, and then they immediately pop over to Harry, who they're very excited to see. Yes. Um, they asked Hermione about her um her black eye, to which she uh explains was the result of one of their punching telescopes. And Fred's like, "Oh, blime me, I forgot about those." And then sure enough, he pulls out a tub of some type of thick yellow paste that can uh get rid of the bruise in just under an hour. Uh, and then they further explain that they had to find a decent bruise remover because they're testing most of their products on themselves. Are we assuming this is the Mertlap again? Some kind of Mlap paste?
I could see something like that because then it's sort of like going full circle because Hermione uses it on Harry's hands who tells Lee to use it on his hand, who tells Fred and George to cure the plush jewels who are now giving it back to Hermione to get rid of the black eye. So, we like we're like full circle now.
>> We have made it full circle. I guess I guess there's no way to specifically knows to specifically know because it says we had to find decent bruise remover. Uh, and they do use the word find, which would maybe would suggest that they bought it. Um, I suppose all the idea of Fred and George inventing it feels much more satisfying.
>> It does. It does. Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> But I mean, fine could still be from like, "Yeah, Lee Lee tipped us off."
>> True, true, true, true. Yeah. Uh, Hermione looked nervous. It is safe, isn't it? Of course it is, said Fred bracingly. Like I read the word bracingly and I'm like, >> is that like reassuringly? reassuring to who himself. Of >> course it is, [laughter] >> right? Yeah.
>> Yeah. Laura's like bracing sort of like, "Yeah, of course it's safe."
>> Yeah.
>> What could go wrong anyway? Go ahead and try it.
>> Yeah. Rub that right on your face. Rub that yellow paste on your face, Hermione. It'll be fine.
>> It'll be fine. Although, I guess if you're if you've known Fred and George for as long as Hermione has, she's like, "This is a prank, isn't it?
>> She's going to make it worse."
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> I'm going to have another black eye >> on the other side, even though I put it on this side. Yeah. [laughter] >> And just another telescope punches you.
That's our telescope punching paste, you idiot. [laughter] >> I love the you idiot.
>> It's her >> and Hermione. [laughter] That's what makes it so funny.
>> How many OWLs do you get? [gasps] >> Couldn't figure THAT ONE OUT, DID YOU?
[laughter] >> OH, MAN.
>> OH, MAN. OKAY. uh we get like a little reference to the uh the various other things that they're selling in the shop, including muggle magic tricks for freaks like dad. Um it's not a big, but you know, we do fairly steady business.
They're great novelies.
>> I mean, slight of hand feels like it could be useful either way, you know.
>> True. True. Yeah. Um and then yeah, George comes over and he's like, "Give it to the tour. Come through the back, Harry. That's where we're making the real money."
>> This feels like every firework shop you've ever been to where it's like, "Yeah, we got the fountains back here, but you want to come in the back? That's where we keep the mortars.
>> That's where we keep the mortars and the good stuff.
>> That's right. You got to you got to go through this like chain link fence to like a trailer we have in the back where we keep all the mortars.
>> Yeah. Keep all the good stuff. And I mean for all intents and purposes, Fred and George are fireworks manufacturers.
So, >> that's a good point. That's a good point. Um Yeah. So, uh they they've developed a more serious line. Um and then he goes on to say, "You wouldn't believe how many people, even people who work at the ministry, can't do a decent shield charm, said George. Of course, they didn't have you teaching them, Harry.
>> That's right.
>> Which we we recently just made a video that was about like other professions that Harry could have had other than going on to be an orurer, which is something that we just think is ridiculous. Um, but one of them that we really buy into the most is just defense against the dark arts professor. And it feels like this is just another piece of contributing evidence that like Harry is not just like not not only can he teach, he's like a good teacher.
>> A good teacher. Yes. Cuz like now they're able to like transfer the shield charm into other objects. Uh then it says, "But the ministry bought 500 for all support staff and we're still getting massive orders, meaning that Harry's teachings are literally making the world a safer place."
>> Yeah.
>> Not just that, Harry's teaching of the shield charm to Fred and George and his investment in this company has made the world a safer place.
>> Which is also hilarious because it's like Um's whole thing was there was no need to actually do real defensive magic, right? and she was like under the idea that this was making the world a safer place. And here's Harry defying her. And ultimately the the own the ministry that Dolores herselves work works for is now buying the product, >> right? You think she's wearing one?
>> That'd be rich.
>> That would be rich.
>> Oh, that's rich.
>> I doubt it. I >> doubt it. I know. Yeah. Uh, I said, "And then we thought we get into the whole area of defensive against the dark gods because it's such a money spinner." To which I'm like, "And for more noble reasons hopefully."
>> I felt the exact same way. I was like, I was like, I mean, sure, maybe it's profitable, but like can we can we see it just as like a good thing for the sake of doing it, >> right? Like it's just like everyone maybe needs it cuz there's a genuine threat out there, >> right? Right. Yes. Uh, so then we get the uh the instant darkness powder, which I guess technically they're not inventing, but importing from Peru.
>> Peruvian instant darkness powder. That's just an setup cuz that's what Draco is going to buy from them. This whole chapter from here on out is going to be a giant bucket of like plot devices.
>> Yes, it absolutely is. Uh we got the decoy deton decoy detonators.
>> Those come back. Speaking of which, in book seven, Harry uses them against Umbrage.
>> Yep. Yes, indeed. Um the decoy detonators are one of those when like if you remember the the like app that was like Pokémon Go >> Wizards Unite.
>> Wizards Unite. I feel like the the decoy detonators almost look like those like little like bells you press at like a hotel office, you know, like when you're like requesting service with like little black legs. And I was like, that's not really how I ever pictured that. I mean, maybe it is even how they're described, but it's just not how I pictured it.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Um, but you just drop one uh surreptitiously and it'll run off and make a nice loud noise out of sight, giving you a diversion if you need one.
Yep. Handy, said Harry, impressed. Um, and then sure enough, George just throws a couple of them at Harry and is like, "Hey, why don't you just have these?"
>> Yeah. He's like, "All right, cool.
Thanks." Um, then, uh, Varity, their employee, comes in, uh, addressing them as Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley.
>> Yeah. There's a customer out here looking for a joke cauldron. Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley.
>> A joke cauldron.
>> Varity though, man. Talk about a hard piece of trivia to remember. I even read it like you know an hour ago to prepare for today's episode and I had already forgotten it.
>> Oh man, her name means truth.
>> Truth.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, I guess that makes sense.
Yeah.
>> Okay. Okay. I wonder what the It feels to choose that name.
>> I know.
>> Feels like like you could have just gone with Sarah, >> right? It feels like it means something.
It's like they're such jokers but she's like more of a straight shooter or something >> maybe. So, you know, kind of an unusual selection for this particular environment.
>> Yeah. Not that we're going to run into her ever again, so it doesn't really matter.
>> Right. Right. Um, so here's another one of those like Harry is special moments, though, because we have the Harry, you help yourself to anything you want. All right. No charge. Right.
>> Um, which is going to be in deep contrast to what they tell uh Ron. Ron, >> you know, which is that you have to pay for everything and you're basically nicking our stuff if you don't, >> right? Yeah.
>> And then Harry and Ron's opinions are the exact opposite. Harry's like, they're like, you can nick anything you want for free. And he's like, I can't do that. And Ron's like, "Can I have everything for free?" And they're like, "Not a chance.
>> No way." Yeah.
>> Yeah. And Fred's like, "You don't pay here. You gave us our startup loan. We haven't forgotten."
>> Can you imagine? [laughter] >> All right, Harry. And that'll be full price. And we're like, "Oh, okay." Yeah.
I mean, cuz that makes sense. You just start. It feels like I don't know if you remember that or anything, but >> feels an awkward time to bring it up.
It's like, "Hey, remember how I gave you like a thousand gallions?" I don't want to say I've got like an ownership stake in this, but I think I'm your boss's.
[laughter] >> I think I could fire you.
>> I'm pretty sure that's how it works.
Yeah, maybe. I'm about to invoke uh the the legal term of takes back seis.
>> Yeah, I'm about to invoke that. I'm about to invoke um board of directors.
How does that sound?
>> That's right. That's right. [laughter] Yeah. Right. Um, uh, Hermione and Jenny when they go back outside are still pouring over the patented daydream charms, which which I I find I wrote this down as like a little piece of trivia because in my mind if you were to ask us what they spent time looking at, I would have said love potions.
>> I know. Yeah. Um, and so it's mostly that like I can imagine being asked the question and getting it wrong for that reason. But then sure enough, where they are then guided away from the patented daydream charms is directly over to the best range of love potions you'll find anywhere >> from our special wonder products, which is a giant pink section of the shop, which I'm like, okay, all right. A little leaning a little into some gender norms here, guys. Okay.
>> Exactly. Why don't we just like, you know, take a step back. Take a step back on that one. You know, it's not required. It could be any color.
>> You guys are inventing AI. You're reinfor reinforcing gender norms. Like what's up with this shop?
>> And and you're selling you're you're war profiteering.
>> Yeah. And you're [laughter] war profitering >> on the whole not the best friend in I'm not going to say guys. Yeah. You know where where do your you know what are your motivations these days?
>> Right. Right. [laughter] >> This is the worst spin ever.
>> We're we're taking some weird weird approaches today. Y >> um but then uh yeah J like do they work?
And certainly they were, for up to 24 hours at a time, depending on the weight of the boy in question, and they attracted them to the girls, said George, reappearing suddenly at their side. Uh, but we're not selling them to our sister. Not when she's already got about five boys from what we've Whatever you've heard from Ron is a big fat lie, said Jinny calmly. Oh, so sorry. We should try THAT AGAIN. WHATEVER YOU'VE HEARD FROM RON IS A BIG FAT LIE, SAID JENNY CALMLY.
>> Said Jenny calmly. Was that really loud in your ears?
>> No, it was fine. Yeah, we did. Yeah, you did a good whisper yell. Oh, yeah. I've been practicing. Yeah. Guaranteed 10-second pimple vanisher, said Fred. To which I'm like, I feel like they are um you know, fast and loose enough with the rules so they could be like, yes, it vanishes your pimples for 10 seconds.
>> True.
>> Not in 10 seconds, for 10 seconds.
>> For that would feel so Fred and George' be like, wait, it was supposed to go away in 10 seconds. Like, no, no, no, no, no.
>> Read, read where the comma is.
>> 10second pimple vanisher.
God, >> it's been 10 seconds. [laughter] >> You know, Marietta Edgecomb has been through here.
>> Yeah. She's like, "Oh my god, >> does it work?"
>> It's like for 10 seconds. [laughter] >> Don't change the subject. Oh, you are you not currenting out with a boy called Dean Thomas? And I'm like, what? Like, you don't know who Dean Thomas is, dude?
Like, you've been at school with him for the last 5 years.
>> I I know. I find this to be absolutely ridiculous. And it's like it's like he lives with, you know, Ron. Yeah. It's like you you know Dean and like Dean is even like the one who I feel like in like a lot of the parties and stuff like draws the lion posters and banners. It's like and and I mean of course this is always just us sort of like you know ripping off the cuff a little bit but the idea that there are you know five boys across you know each year that's that means there's 30 35 boys. This would be like getting to the end of like you know 8th grade and not knowing all the people's names in your English class, right? You know, it's like it's just not that hard.
>> You've just come across them, you know?
>> Yeah. You just see them that often.
>> You see them that often >> and you're only one year apart. It's like for No, one year. Two year.
>> One year.
>> One year.
>> One year apart.
>> No, two years. Two years. I'm sorry.
Right.
>> Yeah. That's right. Because Because in Harry's first year, Fred and George have already been on the quiddage as of their second year. Yeah.
>> Two years apart. But even so, even so.
Um, but I love how Jenny has just no embarrassment. Like how Ron is always like real like embarrassed and stuff about girls and she's like, "Yes, I am."
And last time I looked, he was definitely not one. He was one boy, not five, you know, just like she's like not abashed, not ashamed, not embarrassed at all about like having a boyfriend, which is very like I mean that's such a relatable thing when you're a teenager to feel like very like guarded about that information.
>> It absolutely is. Yes. Yeah. Um and so yeah, she then just immediately too she's like, "What are those?" And she's pointing out the uh pygmy puffs and then you know they're sort of like but don't change the subject. What about Michael Corner? And Judy's like I dumped him. He was a bad loser. Um, and then she's right back to Biggy Puffs. She's like, "They're really cute." And Fred's like, "They're fairly cuddly." Yes, but you're moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren't you? Two, >> it's not that bad.
>> Not really that bad.
>> Could be worse, >> right? Like dated one guy like all of last year and then broke up with him for a pretty legitimate reason to date someone else. And that's just just sort of happening now. So, big deal.
>> Right. Right. Right. But she will be dating at least a third person by the end of the year.
>> I know, right?
>> For at least a little while. Then he's going to break up with her >> sort of save the world or whatever.
>> It's for some noble reason, isn't it?
>> That's right. I I feel like she understands it.
>> Yeah. I mean, it's like like we're broken up, but like like not like don't, you know, don't settle down with anyone else.
>> But like, you know, like like wait for me.
>> Oink wink. If I die, if I die, you're good.
>> Then you're good.
>> But if I die and come back, right? like like wait to see cuz like the chosen one [laughter] like who knows what that means. Maybe I've got special powers or something.
>> Oh man, I'm sure there are people out there who are like Harry only says the I'm the chosen one thing in the movies and we harp on it so hard. And it's just because that one line is like it's almost so out of character for Harry that we bite on it.
>> Oh yeah. It's very funny. I love that.
>> Yeah.
>> Yes. Um anyway, they are not wanting to let the thing go and she's just going to tell them it's none of your business and I'll thank you pointing back to Ron not to tell tales to me about me to these two. Um so and then Fred's going to start running up Ron's tab like that's three guys lickles on a canut and he's your brother. All right, I'll knock. So this is great cuz in the movie they increase the price for that. True they do >> which is a better move. That's the funnier move.
>> Hey how much for this? Five gallions but I'm your brother. 10 alensions.
>> They're like, "Fine, I'll knock off the canut." Which I'd be like, "Harry, why don't you check out with these things?"
>> That's right. Harry, could I add it to your pile, please? Yes.
>> However, I'm pretty sure Ron does end up taking this stuff anyway.
>> Oh, does he?
>> I I believe so. I think you're right.
Yeah. Um Well, it says that he dropped several boxes, swore, and made a rude hand gesture at Fred that was unfortunately spotted by Mrs. Weasley, who had chosen that moment to appear. Uh >> very Snapeike. Yeah, it is indeed. If I see you do that again, I'll jinx your fingers together, she said sharply. And it's like Ron is having a rough day.
>> A rough day.
>> Like I mean I feel like his morale is maintaining pretty good despite the fact that like Bill was called him an idiot over the gold. Fred and George are charging him while not charging >> his best friend. The car that is given to them that he's like admiring is only because of Harry. Right.
>> You see what I mean? Like >> everyone's preferring Harry.
>> Exactly.
and he's just being a total champ about it right now.
>> He's rolling with it.
>> He's like, I'm taking this stuff. This is mine now. [laughter] >> Yeah, I know. You're just giving me a hard I knew you were just giving me a hard time.
>> And they're like, we weren't.
>> We were not. You were. Yeah, you guys are so funny.
>> I get it. I get it. I'm your brother.
All right. See you later. You have to pay for that. I'll see you next time.
[laughter] >> Oh, man. So, anyway, there then, you know, we have a little bit more of a distraction. and pizza be the uh pygmy puff there. And uh Harry, Ron, and Hermione look out the window and see Draco Malfoy hurrying up the street alone.
>> And Harry, Ron, and Hermione are going to be like, "Oh boy, time to go do some sleuththing."
>> That's right. That's right. We can't We can't miss out on this. No way. No way.
>> Did you guys bring your detective pants?
Cuz I brought my detective invisibility cloak.
>> I'm going to throw it on right now.
>> We're going to do it right now. Get under here. [laughter] >> Yes. Uh, and then we get like a funny line too as well because it says Harry knowing and loathing Malfoy was sure the reason could not be innocent that he's off on his own. But I love that it's like the knowing Malfoy could be the re like that the reason could not be innocent. But the fact that he loathes them is just >> in addition to >> that just feels biased. It's like loathing Malfoy as he did he was positive he was up to no good.
>> Exactly. [laughter] Like, well, I mean, that's sort of Yeah, that's bias. Like, knowing Malfoy, I was sure it was up to no good. That makes sense.
>> That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. If anything, this is another like like I am the chosen one moment because Harry's like, "Listen, I'm so good and I hate him." Which must mean whatever he's up to isn't good.
>> Isn't good. And I've been very correct about this in the past. Okay. Remember when I thought it was Snape and it was Quirrel? Right. Right. Remember when I thought we could trust Tom Riddle?
Right. Okay. I'm good at this. Yeah. I was pretty sure Draco was the heir of Slytherin, >> right?
>> Wasn't.
>> Wasn't Wasn't. Pretty sure Sirius killed my parents. Didn't [laughter] pretty sure Moody was my teacher. Wasn't >> wasn't. [laughter] >> I'm so good at this game.
>> I am great at this.
>> He does have a bad track record, doesn't he?
>> He does a little bit. Yeah.
>> Uh so anyway, we get the uh get the invisibility cloak out. Nobody saw them vanished and they immediately get outside the store and Harry's like he was going in this direction. Uh and they they catch him pretty quickly. It says, "That's him, isn't it?" She whispered, turning left. Big surprise, Mr. Brun.
From Malfoy had glanced around and then slid into Nocturn alley and out of sight.
>> You think it's like a slide getting onto the street. [laughter] >> I would love that. Just like a like a dark street, but it is a bit whimsy getting in there, >> right? It's like you you know like those twisty slides they used to have at like uh like fast food eeries. It's like that.
>> It's like that. It's like, look, the dark arts get a bad rap, but like they are also quite whimsical. Okay, >> we have fun.
>> We have fun, right? You know, people are like, why do you go to the dark arts?
It's like, I mean, it's fun, you know?
>> It's a It's a great time. It's a great time.
>> You should see the parties.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Entrance. It's a slide. It's like we can't help that people don't think it's okay to use like blood for magic and stuff, but like you can do cool stuff with it, you know?
>> Exact. Exactly. Yeah. Like slides, >> right? Like slides. That was a blood slide. Did you have fun? What?
>> [laughter] >> What do you mean by blood slide? Explain more.
>> I didn't say blood.
>> You did.
>> Okay.
>> Sure. Sure.
>> Right. Uh Hermione is worried that their feet will be seen under the invisibility cloak. I feel like this is like another one of those things that has slowly started to like reemerge more and more and more is that like they're just getting bigger and there's three of them and it's a cloak meant for one person.
Um but Harry's like it doesn't matter just hurry. And yeah, so Harry Harry is just like ab for him. I feel like at this point it's just like a I will be validated eventually. Draco will be up to no good and I will catch him.
>> I will. I will. Exactly. Um and then so Hermione hesitates for a second longer then ducked under the cloak with Heron and nobody noticed them. Vanished. They were all too interested in Fred and George's products which I mean Fred and George are just like a walking set of decoy detonators themselves, you know.
>> They truly are. Yep. Yep. Um Yeah. So then they they go down Noctcturn alley and they find Bulgan and Bucks which sold a wide variety of sinister objects.
Um, and it said, uh, let's see. There in the midst of the cases full of skulls and old bottles stood Draco Malfoy with his back to them just visible beyond the very same large black cabinet in which Harry had once hidden.
>> Uh, it's the first thing mentioned in the shop.
>> It is. It is the cabinet. That cabinet is the reason why they are there. And they're going to make reference to it a good couple of times. And it's like, "Oh my gosh, so close."
>> It's like the thing blocking our view is the thing.
>> Yeah, >> man. If only.
>> If only. And then Hermione is like, "If only we could hear." And then Ron comes through here. He's like, "We can hang on." Drop a couple more of the boxes. He was still clutching. So, yes, he did take the stuff, including apparently some extendable ears, which he opens on the spot. And Hermione in true book six form is just like, "Yes, fantastic. Not only did you steal stuff, we're using it to spy on Malfoy.
>> Exactly. Yeah. This will come up later, I believe.
I'm trying to think of when this does happen. Um, at some point in time, Hermione will go on to use Muffly Auto.
Uh, and she will basically be like, "You know what? Dark times. We got to just use this stuff.
>> You got to do it."
>> Um, because she like I think Harry's going to like, "I thought you didn't approve of the Half Blood Princess spells." And she's like, "Well, you know what? Kind of do now." You know what?
It's like, hey, you know how uh like Draco is not too um proud to not shop at Weasley Wizard Weasels to get what he needs.
>> Exactly.
>> You know, or to copy their ideas, >> right? Right. Or for that matter, Hermione's ideas. Yeah. Exactly.
>> Because he does the gallions thing with uh with Rose Murda. Um so the first thing that we get to hear the moment the extendable ears go under the door is, "You know how to fix it?" "Possibly," said Borggan. "I need to see it though.
Why don't you bring it into the shop?" I can't, said Malfoy. It's got to stay put. I just need you to tell me how to do it.
>> Yeah. Borggan is like, I'm not liking this exchange at all.
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's like it's like I I don't think I can do it and I'm not going to guarantee anything.
>> Right. Yeah. Uh without seeing it, I must say it would be very difficult job.
Perhaps impossible. Couldn't guarantee a thing. And now this is where Malfoy gets to finally reveal his dark mark and he's like, "No, perhaps this will make you more confident." And indeed it does.
Borggan is like, "Oh crap."
>> Yes. Yes, indeed. Um, so I mean that's that's a pretty big threat being, you know, levied at here. And it's also kind of interesting and maybe it would actually fit with a theory that we already have about Morgan and Burks because you would think that a store so designed to sell like materials of the dark arts that they would just be death eaters, >> right? you know, it's like this is not a very like nice place, right? At least in terms of like vibes, >> right? I mean, all the stuff they sell is pretty expensive though, so maybe they don't need a ton of sales.
>> I mean, maybe not. Maybe not. But the the point I'm trying to make here, though, is that like we have gone back in time and looked at the death attached to the locket. Yeah. uh where each of the deaths that Voldemort supposedly engaged with in order to create his horcruxes are meant to be um like significant deaths. And the one that we think like never really stands out is the locket, which I can never remember if that's the Albanian peasant or the hag. One of them >> I think it's Albanian peasant.
>> Okay. So, we have often gone back in time and said that we actually think that it's Burke, >> right? And the idea is that Burke is the one who purchases the locket from um >> Marop Gaunt.
>> Marop Gaunt for just 10 gallions and describes it as like the best deal he ever got or something like that. Um and it's like this would almost be after having worked at Borggan and Burks himself, Tom Riddle ultimately like makes Burke pay the price, right, for having like swindled his family, >> right? Yeah. and he gets back the locket and kills him and then as far as he's concerned he was just a peasant.
>> That's right. Because it's always Borggan and Burks but otherwise in the modern age it's always Borggan.
>> Yeah. So that's the theory anyway. Um let's see. Then Malfoy says you know Fener Greyback. He'll be dropping in from time to time to make sure you're giving the problem your full attention.
By which he means thinking about how to fix the other cabinet, >> right?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Because he's not going to be doing it in the shop. I also always find it kind of surprising that Fenrirer is involved at all. I mean I I guess Fener I mean he's a terrible person and a very aggressive werewolf but like it just doesn't feel like the kind of thing that would like fit with the Death Eaters but maybe it's another one of those things where it's sort of like the Giants 2 where it's like they would show bias but it's like we'll use you until we don't need you anymore, >> right? Yeah. Um Frener of course it's one of another thing that doesn't come to fruition very well. is like, you know, he's this terrible scary werewolf, but not once in the entire series has he transformed, >> right?
>> Yeah. The only time you know him to have transformed and like done something is when he bit Lupin as a kid like, you know, 20 years ago, >> right? Yes. In like 1965 or something.
>> Yeah.
>> Um and of course it's 19 years ago six now. Yeah. Right away, uh Borgan's going to be like, "Well, there will be no need for and M's like, I'll decide that and don't forget to keep that one safe. I'll need it." And Morgan's like, "Well, perhaps you'd like to take it now." And so, of course, he's just sort of like, "How about I'm not involved with this."
>> He wants to get as far away from the situation as possible. He doesn't want to be dealing with Fener. He doesn't want to be dealing with the Death Eaters.
>> Right. Right.
>> Yeah.
>> He doesn't want to help with whatever project this is.
>> Right. Yeah. And Malfoy is going to be like, "No, of course I wouldn't, you stupid little man. How would I look carrying that down the street? Just don't sell it." Right. And [clears throat] but I mean like that that phrasing makes it sound like it would be possible to be carried down the street, but in my mind this cabinet's like big.
>> Yeah, I think it's pretty big.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. And then uh you I mean you already saw sort of Malfoy talking to Madame Malcin who you kind of I don't know I picture as like maybe a more like neutral party, but now he's like straight up bullying like Borggan. So he's really graduated from just bullying the other students like people his age to like really I'm more superior to just everyone.
>> He's he's attempting to command all rooms for sure. Yeah, absolutely.
>> Um not a word to anyone Borggan and that includes my mother. Understand?
Naturally naturally murmured Borggan bowing again. Um and so you know then Malfoy leaves the shop and Borggan remained frozen. His anxious smile had vanished. He looked worried. M um it looks like he's more afraid of Draco than he ever was of Lucius even. Cuz when Lucius left the shop last time, Borggan immediately starts talking to himself and he's like, "If the rumors are true, you haven't even sold me half of what you've got hidden in that mana, Malfoy or whatever."
>> That's a good point.
>> He's like big eye roll.
>> Right. Right. May maybe maybe it's the locks by Lucius that's that's sort of like people are like we're not going to take you seriously. Like are you kidding me?
>> Right. Yeah. You're big and scary.
Voldemort's not even powerful. Draco is like, "Listen here, bud. I've got a dark mark. My dad's in prison. Voldemort's back. Listen up."
>> Exactly. Exactly. Or maybe that's even like where like Lucius is like needed to like save face with like the ministry and stuff and Draco's sort of like I don't really care. I'm just going to like full-blown threaten you.
>> Right. It's like save face for what?
We're the ministry. Exactly. We're the power that be.
>> Yes. Yep. 100%. Um what was that about?
Whispered Ron. Uh reeling in the extendable ears. Don't know, said Harry, thinking hard. He wants something amended and he wants to reserve something in there. Could you see what he pointed at uh when he said that one?
No, he was behind that cabinet. Oh, this is such a good sentence as far as Mr. X go. No, he was behind that cabinet. As if the cabinet was blocking whatever it was so you couldn't see it and the cabinet itself was not the object.
>> Exactly.
>> I know. It's It's hiding in plain sight.
Come on. Um, Hermione is ducked out from underneath the cloco. And she walks into the shop and it's like, um, hello.
Horrible morning, isn't it? And I'm like, is this the polite introduction in Nocturn Alley? It's like, hello.
Horrible morning. Anyway, I'll have a look around. You guys want a sale?
Right. Yeah, I [laughter] know. I just like, hello. Horrible morning, isn't it?
Is that necklace for sale?
>> Yeah. Right. [laughter] Yes. Right away.
Uh, do you think this is is this the opal necklace? This is the oppo necklace that Katie will touch later.
>> Okay. So, >> how I mean, do you figure like I mean, we know the Malfoys are wealthy. He's going to say if you've got 1 and a half,000 gallions, >> right?
>> Do you think that's what Draco pays for this necklace?
>> I think they have the money to do that.
But also, he can I think he can just do the same thing and threaten his way into give me that necklace.
>> I mean, that's probably true. Um, yeah.
So, I love though that he's like, "Yes, if you have one and a half thousand gallions." And she's like, "Oh, uh, no, I haven't got that much." And it's like, [laughter] I don't know. I'm trying to think of like what an example of this like would be like if you like walked into like a showroom and there's like a Lamborghini and it's like, "Oh, is this for sale?"
And it's like, if you've got half a million dollars and it's like, "No, no, I haven't got that."
>> What about uh that one?
>> Yeah. Like about the same. [laughter] >> Although then she does look at something else. She's like, "What about this um lovely skull? 16 gallallions."
way more reasonable.
>> Way more reasonable. Okay, >> I can maybe swing that.
>> Yeah.
>> So, it's for sale then. It isn't being kept for anyone. Wow. Hermione. Be a little more obvious.
>> Yeah. Not Not the most covert. Um the thing is that the the boy who was just in here now, Draco Malfoy, well, he's a friend of mine and I want to get him a birthday present, but if he's already reserved anything, I obviously don't want to get him the same thing. So, um um yeah, [laughter] Harry's like, "Oh my god, I should have gone in." No, actually I couldn't cuz I'm me. Ron.
Ron.
>> You should have No, you shouldn't go in either. You're Ron.
>> You're Ron. Where's Jenny?
>> Where's Jenny?
>> Jenny could have done it.
>> She could have done it. She could do anything.
>> Yeah. [sighs] >> Um, yeah.
>> Borggan would have looked at her neck and been like, "Wow, that necklace would look good on that girl's pretty little neck." [laughter] >> Oh, no.
>> I know.
>> You're right, though. You're right. Oh, man. Out. He said, "Shop, get out." So right away obviously and of course if you're a Morgan in this situation you just had Draco come in and be like I've reserved something do not sell it and then Hermione walks in it's like anything reserved >> right by that guy >> but but him >> by him.
>> Yeah. Um so right away uh Ron's going like ah well worth a try but you were a bit obvious.
>> Yeah. She's like well next time you can show me how it's done. Master of mystery. And to Ron's credit he does get uh scooped up by the snatchers and he does successfully lie to them. So, hey, that's a good point. That's a good point. So, look at that. Ron's sort of like, if only there was a drama department here at Hogwarts, I would be super popular.
>> I would have done it. You know, they didn't have theater when I went to Hogwarts. But, you know, >> coming soon.
>> Coming soon. You know, there was frog choir, but I can't frog sing. So, what was I supposed to do?
>> That's too bad. Too bad.
>> Yeah.
>> What an unusual decision to be like, "Oh, yeah. We have a choir and not Flitwick is the conductor."
>> Right. Exactly. Yeah. What a random thing to put in the third movie.
>> Yeah.
>> Don't like it.
>> It's a It's a strange one.
>> Don't think we needed that.
>> Something wicked this way comes >> right. They're singing like isn't that's like from like from a muggle play, right?
>> I think so.
>> Yeah. I mean, yeah, almost certainly.
>> Double trouble. Anyway, um so we make it back to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes uh where they were uh forced to stop so that they could dodge undetected around a very anxious looking Mrs. Weasley and Hagard, who had clearly noticed their absence. Once in the shop, Harry whipped off the invisibility cloak, hid it in his bag, and joined him with the other two when they insisted in answer to Mrs. Weasley's accusations that they had been in the back room all along and that she could not have looked properly.
>> Oh, come on now, guys. Come on.
>> That is gaslighting.
That is the actual definition of somebody uh basically finding you in the wrong and then you lie to them and make them feel dumb about it, >> right? They're like, "No, I'm not in the wrong. You were just dumb.
>> Yeah, exactly. It's like, you know how I think I probably You know how you think I probably did something wrong? How about you just don't know enough?
>> Yeah. How about you don't know enough?
How about you did something wrong? How about you lost track of us? Aren't you supposed to be looking out for me, Mrs. Weasley?
>> I thought you cared. I thought you were getting me a A GOLDEN CAULDRON. WHERE'S THAT?
[laughter] OH, >> nowhere to be found. Nowhere to be found. Nowhere to be found. So, really, how about this? How about actually I'm mad at you? That's that.
>> Frankly, >> boom.
>> Frankly, Mrs. W.
>> Mrs. W.
>> Oh, no. Harry, don't [laughter] >> don't go there.
>> Don't go don't say that.
>> Oh, man. That does bring us to the end of chapter six, though. Looking forward to chapter 7, the slug club. But before we close out today's episode, JD, do you have a review for us?
>> I sure do. This one's from Anthony. Long string of numbers.
>> All right. Um, it says, "I slemly swear this podcast is up to something good."
>> Oh, that's so sweet. Yes. Through the Gryffindor is a must listen podcast for Harry Potter fans. As someone who loves diving into the details of the wizarding world, I look forward to listening every week. The hosts do an excellent job analyzing the books, characters, themes, and fan theories while keeping the conversation engaging and entertaining.
One of the podcast strengths is the host's knowledge and passion for Harry Potter. Their discussions often highlight connections and details that I missed during my own readings of the series. They balance thoughtful analysis with humor, making each episode enjoyable, whether you are a casual fan or a dedicated Harry Potter nerd.
Overall, Through the Gryffindor is an informative, entertaining, and wellproduced podcast that deepens my appreciation for the Harry Potter series. I would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys exploring the wizarding world beyond the pages of the books.
>> I feel like if we had like a you know how sometimes on the back of books they have like the quotes, >> the blurbs.
>> The blurbs. I feel like that could be one of our blurbs.
>> That could be one of our blurbs. Yeah.
That whole thing.
>> That's so generous.
>> That's I know. I was like there's not there was no question in this particular review, but I was like this is just so nice. I'm just going to read this one.
>> Well, thank you. No, no, no. I I really love that. That's that's just amazing.
Um, so thank you guys so much as as always for tuning in. And if you ever do want to ask us a question uh to potentially be answered here at the end of one of the episodes. Uh just go and leave us a review and and drop the question in there and we will comb through them and we attempt to answer one at the end of every episode.
>> Yes, we do. And uh if you would like to submit a question to the Owlry, which is the after show we do over on Patreon, um where each week we we have like a like 15 to 20 minute dedicated episode to answering a single question. Um you can do that as well. We have a giant list of questions over there. We're working through them as best we can where I think we're at like over a thousand.
>> Yeah, we have we have quite a many at this point in time, but uh not I mean the Patreon is just kind of jam-packed with perks. I mean like if you do the ally setup that's at the uh $10 a month tier, but if you sign up on an annual basis, uh you will get a page from one of our books complete with like markups and we sign every single page that we send out. Um so that's kind of a fun thing. You will get adree listening which is just already included at the $5 tier. Uh, and then at the annual tier as well, if you sign up before July 31st, you will additionally get a gallion that we designed here in house. Yes. Um, and has got like a bunch of like fun little like Easter eggs kind of hidden in it.
There's a couple pictures of that. I think we mentioned it earlier in the episode over on uh the Patreon page right now.
>> It's got a dragon on it.
>> It's got a dragon on it if you want to go and check it out. Uh again, that's patreon.com/th throughthegriffin door.
>> Yes. Uh so please check that out. But otherwise, that is going to do it for us this week. Make sure you join us next week for chapter 7, the slug club through the Gryffindor. Today's episode was edited by Ethan Edgeill. Van Brandon does our art. Katherine Stein is our production manager. And the show is hosted by me and Jonathan Carlin.
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