The video provides a sharp insight into Japan’s implicit social contract, where public silence often masks deep-seated cultural friction. It serves as a necessary reminder that in a harmony-focused society, the absence of a verbal "no" is rarely an invitation to do as one pleases.
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Hey guys, the video for how to do stuff in Japan playlist for those who want to hear it. [laughter] So over the years, I've heard and read lots of people saying that I'm not Japanese. So I'm going to behave in the way that I usually behave and I don't have to behave in a Japanese way because I'm not Japanese. So if I come to Japan, I'm going to do my normal thing and that's that's what I do. Lots of people have heard lots of people say that. I've read lots of people saying that. It seems to be a very common way of thinking amongst uh a lot of people. So that's fine. And if you're one of those people, that's fabulous. And this video is not for you. Um, there's also another uh element or group of people who who come to Japan, do whatever they want to do, and then leave and go home and have tell everybody they had a great time and aren't really aware of anything they did or didn't do [clears throat] right while they were here. And that's fine, too.
That's sort of good really because that it's not going to bother them at all.
However, there's also other people who want to try and come here and and behave in a way that's not going to cause any any waves. Uh and also probably worse the probably worse is when you come here with the intention of doing the right thing and and behaving in a good way that won't make any waves and then find out later and I'll put my hand up for this one. This is I fall in this category category where I I came here with the intention of behaving really well and not causing any waves and and over the years I've found out and continue to find out things that make me realize that things that I did weren't cool that oh man I said that or I did that or and and as time as time goes on that that often happens is you realize oh okay so doing that's not so cool here or a lot of the stuff in Japanese life, in Japanese culture, as you guys would be aware, is really subtle and they don't tell you. Um, they don't tell you you shouldn't do that, you should do this. Nobody sort of points it out because they think that's rude. So, quite often this happens that years later you'll think, "Oh, wow. That's not cool. Hey, I didn't know that. I did that." And that that's happened to me so many times where I've realized things that I've done in the past have been the wrong thing to do. And often that's resulted in a video on on our how to do stuff in Japan playlist cuz I'm going ah I didn't know that. So that's that's what that playlist is all about. That playlist is all about helping people avoid this situation where they do something innocently and find out later it was the wrong thing to do or soon find out it's the wrong thing to do.
That it can happen. It can happen that you make a mistake here and someone points it out to you. Um it does happen.
Um, sometimes every an occasional old guy or a co-orker or a or or something like that or a garden man or somebody might say, "Hey, you're not supposed to do that." It does happen, but it's not so common as it is in other countries. I think in a lot of other countries, you know, in Australia, for example, if you do the wrong thing, someone's going to tell you probably, "Hey, don't do that.
What are you doing? You're not supposed to do that." Or make a comment, you know, that's not cool. What are you doing? you know, so in a lot of countries, people will do that. Whereas in Japan, um, people consider that sort of thing impolite usually. So, unless it's their job to tell you, they usually won't. So, they think it's your job to work it out for yourself. And it's not their job to to be rude and to tell you what you should do and shouldn't.
Fortunately or unfortunately, um, when when when I'm making these videos, I figure I'm speaking to non-Japanese people about Japanese things. And I I feel because I'd like to know these things, I figure some of you guys would like to know them, too. That's what the how to do stuff in Japan's playlist is all about. Having said all that, having said all that, what triggered this video is I live out here in the countryside and I encounter the occasional uh foreigner. Um, some some of them I know, some of them I don't know that I I'll encounter occasionally, not real not real often, but recently I've had reason to uh visit Nagoya a few times and being in the big city and particularly a couple of times went to some places that was sort of touristy areas in Nagoya and as a result of that I encountered a lot more foreigners than I normally do and it reminded me of a whole bunch of stuff most of which I have covered on previous videos and also in our how to do stuff in Japan book which a lot of you guys don't even know about, but there's a link to that underneath every video. But I talked about dress clothing and and and a few of these sort of things in that and and on previous videos, but it was sort of like a what I experienced this last week was a whole bunch of stuff that we've talked about over the years and it was all together in one place and that's what this video is. I'm going to put a whole bunch of this stuff that I encountered all on this video in one place. So, um, the one that comes I made a little list here. There's a whole bunch. There's a bunch more, but [snorts] but one of the ones I saw was this dude and he was just wearing it's sort of a warm day. Today's pretty cool, but that on the weekend it was actually a pretty warm day and and this dude, a foreign guy, I mean, I don't know where all these people come from, right? But I know they're not Japanese for various reasons. It's either their appearance or or what they're talking or their language or whatever. But this guy was wearing this blue singlet uh top. He looks like he spent a bit of time in the gym pumping iron and uh and he's just strutting just strutting along, you know, and you just don't see that.
Actually, be better be careful. You rarely see that here. So all these behaviors and observations I'm about to make um you do occasionally see them here but it's not normally these behaviors and things are not normally by people that are generally admired here right or respected here you know and and they're not usually considered sort of uh attractive behaviors or um or pleasant behaviors or whatever you know so so Again, this this is not a criticism of any of these people I'm about to talk about, but it's just as I said, as I said, when I first came here, I made lots of mistakes and I did lots of things that that cause waves. And again, just repeating again, not saying there's anything wrong with these behaviors. This video is for people who want to avoid doing stuff that might be might be causing waves or ripples or turning heads. And and the thing is in Japan because everybody behaves in a most people behave in a certain way.
There are individuals that behave differently and that's fine but but usually in Japan if you behave in a different way to everybody else it does cause a little bit of waves. People will look they're really subtle. Quite often what what I saw um on Sunday in particular this day that that I saw this guy was that quite often when when when foreigners come here and behave in in a way that's sort of different. What what you'll see is Japanese people look at them and then they'll look at each other. So the two friends sitting together look they'll see the foreigner doing something they'll look at each other and then look back at the foreigner again and it's really subtle.
That's as that's as much as it is. In another country you might get a guy calling out you know hey gym boy or [laughter] hey t-shirt boy put on a shirt or you know something like that. Hey singlet guy put on a shirt. You know you might get some overt comment like that.
Whereas here they're way more polite and way more subtle and and but you'll see them look at each other. I saw this a lot on Sunday. They'd look at each other and they'd look back at the the person and not say anything because even saying something to your friend in a case like that, if I said something to my wife, if I said, "Hey, check out singlet boy or something," she wouldn't like it very much because that's rude for me to do that, right? For me to say something to her about that guy is rude. So, I wouldn't do it. But, but I might look at her, she might look at me, that would be the end of it. We wouldn't say anything.
But but what's happening there what what's happening there is the Japanese people going check that out right check him out and it was just the whole thing it was the singlet I mean you do in summer I mean not in the Goya but um you know if we're at the beach or something of course you'd see guys in singlet tops but not in a Goya but bigger than that bigger than the singlet top was this was the strutting and you do see Japanese guys do it here but it's not real common and it's not really admired. I mean, just the way people walk here tends to be much more much more less big, [laughter] sort of quiet. I made a video once about about fast small running or something like that. Even when they run somewhere here, they tend to make little steps and it's not sort of this big this big, you know, show of show of power walk, you know, they they just don't do that here, you know. They you just don't see it. You rarely rarely rarely see it. And if you do, it's from not from cool guys, you know. Cool guys, you just don't do that big strutting power. Don't do it. Um, on the walking thing too, the other thing that really struck struck me on the weekend was when Japanese people move as a group, if it's a family or if it's a if it's a group of people moving together, walking together somewhere, usually they're they're pretty tight and pretty considerate to other people. Um, usually, but what but what I saw on Sunday is groups of groups of foreigners and sort of spread out walking along and talking really loud to each other. Look at that. Look at that. Look at this.
Look at that. Not necessarily in English, in all sorts of languages, including English, but really sort of big, you know, big big and loud is is the image you get with these behaviors, you know, which is just not normal here.
It's sort of considered to be self-centered, childish, um, inconsiderate to others because you're sort of disrupting the peace, you know, with the big struting loud thing and and the big groups spread out all over the place talking really loud to each other. And particularly particularly if it's not in Japanese, when when you hear different languages here loud, it really stands out. It really stands out because people here are pretty quiet. You know, even in the Goya, a big city, they're not calling out to each other and carrying on, you know. They're usually pretty quiet, you know, and and so when you get a big group all spread out, all being really loud. Look at that. Look at that. Look at this. Look at that. Ah, take photos.
Take a photo of me. Really stands out, you know. And again, nothing wrong with any of this stuff. Just telling you this is the this is the image, you know. I've been here for a couple of decades and I tend to this stuff tends to hit me like that, you know, and I do. And then I see the Japanese people, it hits them, too.
They're sort of looking at each other.
Oh, you know, it doesn't look good, guys. I'm just being honest. This sort of stuff, it's just like, h, it's cringey. It's really cringey. As I was watching all this on the weekend, I knew I had to make a video about it because like, ah, dudes, you know, and it's not their fault. It's not their fault, you know. It's just cultural difference.
It's not Nobody's bad. Nobody, you know, I'm not being critical of anybody. It's just that the culture, it's a cultural clash, you know, that the dude in the singer. I I I had guys I loved in Australia that was like were like that.
Guys are great guys, you know, really good guys, but that's what they're like, you know, spend a lot of time pumping on and hey, how you going? Hey, good day.
And and the the single top and the muscles and ah, you know, and it's in that environment, it's sort of yeah, it's pretty common, but not here. It's not here. is like, "Oh no, what are you doing?" Um, oh yeah, I got um too much skin. I said in this note, too much skin. Um, the clothes thing. I talked about that in the in the book and also on previous videos.
Um, too much skin, you know, guys and girls and girls with with midrift tops and cleavage and, you know, too much skin. Too much skin. I mean the the ironic thing is that Japanese fashion and Japanese girls legs you know as a lot of you guys would be aware and you know and approve of totally. Um, short skirts and and small shorts are really common here. And legs, you know, you see legs all over the place here.
Particularly as the weather warms up, there's legs all over the place, you know. Um, I'm talking about female fashion, usually the guys, not so much.
But for girls here, short short skirts and and and shorts and lots of leg is really really common here. But cleavage isn't cleavage isn't so common. I mean, you get it. You do get it. And again, it depends where you go. I mean, if you go into one of the night nightife areas of big city at night, uh it you you'll be you might see cleavage and you might see more skin. But but in a in a in a city surrounded by people in the middle of the day on the weekend, you know, you don't see so much. You just don't you don't you don't see cleavage. You don't see midrift tops.
You don't see all that skin. Just came to me now. I used to have to go to the immigration center u I've got permanent residency now so I don't have to go anymore but I used to have to go every year or two to renew visas and things and I couldn't believe how what I saw everything I just said to you I used to see all the time at the immigration center you know what are you doing they're going in there to renew a visa and there's skin hanging out all over the place it just again you can do it all these things I'm talking about all the things I've talked about so far and these ones here you can do if you want There's nothing wrong with doing it. There's no one's going to complain.
It's all fine. But it just doesn't look good. It really doesn't. It just stands out and it's cringey. It's like, "Oh, what are you doing?" You know, low cut cleavage with skin all over the place.
That one that one you'll see girls, a girl will walk past with that, a foreign girl walk past with like that. And Japanese girls will look at each other, you know, and they won't say anything, but they'll just look at each other and or they might say something to that one.
They might say something, but you'll see them look them up and down and then say something to each other or look at each other, you know, because it's just it's just not cool. I mean, you do see Japanese girls occasionally do that in the wrong place, but it's in the wrong place. What are you doing? You know, families everywhere and skin hanging out. It's just again, it's just a cultural difference. It's a fashion difference. And and it seems that a lot of pe foreign people that come to Japan just are not they're not they either don't care. those people that I mentioned at the start of the video that I'm not Japanese. I want to do whatever I want. They just don't care or they're just not aware. They're not paying attention to see what the standard here is for fashion and and how people are dressing and behaving, you know, and skin all over the place. And then of course that means tattoos too often, you know. And and and again, I'll just mention this again. My one of my dearest friends who's been a friend since kindergarten, who I love dearly, um is fully tattered up. He's sleeved. He's just absolutely covered in tats, you know, and and I appreciate his art and and he's been here to visit me in Japan.
And and I told him about the tattoo thing here. And and again, there's some Japanese people here into tattoos now.
And maybe it is slowly changing, but it's slowly changing. And and historically, I made a whole video about the tattoo thing. Historically, tattoos are related to uh criminals in Japan.
And and although the thinking about this is slowly starting to change, it's very slow. I saw a thing recently online, some foreigner complaining that he'd come to Japan and he wasn't allowed to go in the onen and he wasn't allowed to do this, he wasn't allowed to do that because of his tattoos. And you know, that's the case. that is still the case that it is but it might be slowly changing and young people might be slowly starting to change their thinking about it but overall Japanese society doesn't approve of tattoos. So my my friend listened when when he came I I mentioned that to him and to his credit he wore long sleeve shirts the whole time he was here and he couldn't see any of his tats and it was a good thing because we we went all over the place and we didn't have any any problems and no one was looking sideways at him or anything like that, you know. So fair or unfair or cool or not cool, whatever, it's just the facts. It's just the facts that tats are still not cool in Japan.
And if if you go hanging your tats out here, it it it's people are going to look. Um and the other thing is it could stop you doing stuff because you might not be welcome some places because of it. So fair or not fair, cool or not cool, that's just the way it's just the facts, guys. Sorry. Sorry, but it's just the way it is. There's a whole video about that on this channel if you're interested. Check that out. Um Oh, talking loudly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the spread out groups. So, that's sort of that's [laughter] that's just a little fraction of what I saw on on that was Sunday in particular, but there was another day last week where I was out. I kept noticing this stuff.
Um the it happens whenever we go somewhere where there's lots of foreigners. This sort of stuff stands out. But I think Sunday it just really hit me because there was so much of it going on and I kept seeing the Japanese people looking at each other.
Incidentally, that was at that co cosplay event.
So it it's it's sort of ironic, isn't it, that that we're at this thing where there's a cosplay event going on where there was Japanese people walking around with purple hair and all sorts of cosplay outfits on. But that is part of Japanese culture. So that didn't turn heads, [laughter] right? Ironically, ironically, that's all normal here, cosplay stuff. So, all these people with purple hair and dressed up like anime characters and stuff, that that didn't turn heads in a critical way at all because it's normal here because that's part of the culture. But this foreigner behavior, it was just cringey. It's just cringy. And and I'm seen as being as part of that team, too, right? So, so when they see me, they see a foreigner.
So, they see a bunch of foreigners behaving badly. They see me. They see a bunch of foreigners being loud and carrying on. They see me and we're lumped together. We're lumped together.
So again, some people really object to these types of videos because, you know, I'm not Japanese. I don't have to behave like a Japanese person. What's wrong with tattoos? What's always people that misinterpret what I said, right? That I'm not being critical of any of these people. I'm not being critical. All I'm pointing out is that these things are different to what they normally are in Japanese society and Japanese culture.
And you can come here and do all those things I just mentioned, no problem at all. You come here, do all that, and go home. And often under these videos, I get comments like that. That's not true.
I was in Japan and I showed everybody my tattoos and they said I was really cool.
[snorts] Yeah, of course they did. and and you can do that if you want to, you know, but this is just a sort of a bit of an insidider uh heads up um of this is what it's like, you know, and again, it depends. I mean, I've known guys that have lived here for a couple of decades that have done all that stuff. I I know a guy that lived here for a couple of decades and actually got tattoos while he lived here. So, I couldn't believe he did it. It was like, what are you doing?
because straight away it excludes him from the water parks and from the onsense and all sorts of stuff, but he wanted to do it so he did it. So, you can do it. You can do it if you want to, but it excluded him from the water parks and the onens and it'll limit his job opportunities. But, you know, you can do it if you want to. There's nothing to stop you doing it. All this is that all those how-to videos are just for that small group of people who who want to come here and get the most out of their time here because that's the other thing. these things can those sort of behaviors can limit your your opportunities here. So, so these videos are aimed for people who want to um not limit their opportunities while they're here, not cause any waves, sort of blend in as best as possible and and and and be part of of what's going on. Um people who just want to come here and do their own thing, don't care about any of that.
Ah, I don't care about any of that. I'm just going to I'm not Japanese. I want to do my thing. That's fine. You can do that, too. This video wasn't for you. I don't know why you're still watching it.
[laughter] [snorts] Anyway, that's more than enough of that. More videos coming soon.
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