Divorce Diaries - Back spasm

Added: 2026-05-30

[00:00:00]Oh my god.

[00:00:01]Welcome.

[00:00:03]I literally in the last hour don't know what the [ __ ] I just did to my body, but it's okay. It's feeling a little better.

[00:00:09]So, let's talk about it. First of all, my house is a mess within a also an hour.

[00:00:15]It's all right. We're going to get it all done.

[00:00:18]I just said I'm just going to [clears throat] say my body is feeling better. I stretched.

[00:00:22]Let me wait for somebody to like Let me wait for her to come in.

[00:00:27]>> [cough] >> And then I'll I'll continue to talk about what I just did to my back.

[00:00:33]And I'm going to have some extra strong coffee.

[00:00:36]Oh.

[00:00:39]Hold on. I have to Oh, no. Sorry.

[00:00:44]I didn't mean it like that.

[00:00:47]Natalie, I didn't mean it like that. Oh, fun girl. I wrote the wrong text message. It was, "Hi guys. I pulled my back a little bit. I'm going to talk about it in a second."

[00:01:08]I stretched in bed and all of a sudden I couldn't move my back.

[00:01:14]Um and literally I'm not even talking about the I'm not even talking about my set from last night. And my set was fine. It's just like I got to do better for those different crowds. Uh so, I stretched in bed.

[00:01:32]And all of a sudden my back started spasming and I couldn't breathe.

[00:01:37]It's feeling a little better now. I iced it and I just took a hot shower, but unfortunately I I I guess I can't do that. I don't know if I could I got to really chill out today. So, I just need uh Montclair did okay.

[00:01:54]Um I feel like there's still some lots of work for me to improve even though I didn't bomb like last time, I didn't do exceptional.

[00:02:04]I pulled my back I I my back spasms this morning. I was stretching on my bed like and then all of a sudden I was like, "Oh my god, I can't move my back."

[00:02:13]Now it's feeling a little bit better, but I have to be low-key today. I have to literally just do not like not I just took a I just iced it and then I heated it.

[00:02:27]Well, I'm also 44 and I don't like to say this, but like [ __ ] it don't work like it used to.

[00:02:34]That's why I need to be regularly in physical therapy so I'm always ready.

[00:02:39]Cuz I that's the thing is like I did a big workout earlier this week and I think I put It's not that I I don't know. I mean, I never scratched my old to my back spasms.

[00:02:50]Oh, come on. I'm just glad I feel a little bit better now.

[00:02:55]My friend just texted oh, it's our age.

[00:02:57]No, Natalie.

[00:03:03]What some D What's DMSO? I got tiger balm, too. I took some ibuprofen.

[00:03:10]I'm going to I do have to get my regular physical done and I want to get I want to get back into physical therapy for my neck and back because when I'm in physical therapy, it they do the massage therapy and it does help.

[00:03:23]That along with the stretching and making sure that now anything I do, I don't hurt myself.

[00:03:32]Puts a lot of things into perspective when you can't get out of bed in the morning.

[00:03:36]Be happy you can get out of bed.

[00:03:40]So, hi everybody.

[00:03:42]Let's go. Let's make this the Let's make this the highest-rated live stream on Divorce Diaries channel.

[00:03:56]>> Oh my god, I was like seriously that was like I couldn't breathe.

[00:04:01]It still hurts a little bit when I breathe, but it's better than it was and it's because I put I put this What were you doing in bed when it happened? I was stretching. I literally was like I can't even do it and then I I read online and they said I stretched and all of a sudden they were like you must have pulled it They said you could have overstretched a ligament.

[00:04:19]Overstretched a ligament?

[00:04:24]All right, that's okay. We're feeling a little bit better. That's what matters.

[00:04:27]I was really scared.

[00:04:29]I was like [ __ ] scared. I called my daughter and I was like help help. I kept saying help help. It took her quite some time to come to the room.

[00:04:37]Cuz all of a sudden I couldn't breathe.

[00:04:40]>> [snorts] >> Thank god. Honestly, that's [ __ ] scary.

[00:04:49]This is where the age gap and me and my boyfriend's going to participate. I'm going to go babe.

[00:04:56]Can't blow my back out cuz I already pulled it out. Oh.

[00:05:00]>> [clears throat] [laughter and gasps] >> He told me I was going to text him something that's corny. He's going to be like that's not funny.

[00:05:10]He says to me sometimes like move on.

[00:05:12]I'll be like what if I physically can't cuz I'm old.

[00:05:17]>> [clears throat] >> I'm not old.

[00:05:19][ __ ] that.

[00:05:22]I know I know women in their 80s dancing and doing gymnastics and [ __ ] We're not letting our bodies take us down. Hell no.

[00:05:30]Oh my god, I don't know what I mean.

[00:05:34]I'm telling you though it was scary like I think I got to keep an ice pack on it now.

[00:05:40]To be honest with you.

[00:05:45]>> [snorts] >> Oops.

[00:05:57]Oh my god.

[00:06:01]It's like right here.

[00:06:06]Ah, it's good.

[00:06:14]Uh good morning. I I sort of slept well and then I stretched and hurt myself.

[00:06:20]So, that's where we're at today.

[00:06:23]Welcome.

[00:06:34]I'm trying to think how I can put this in my lower my upper back.

[00:06:41]Hold on.

[00:06:45]Ooh, it's cold.

[00:06:48]That feels good.

[00:06:50]I think.

[00:06:56]Hold on.

[00:07:03]All right, I'm going to tie it. Ooh, that feels good. Okay.

[00:07:13]I'm like trying to tie it so that it doesn't fall.

[00:07:18]But I don't think it's going to work.

[00:07:21]No, I'm just going to have to lay it.

[00:07:27]Pretty good coffee though.

[00:07:37]I didn't look at the bruise. It just hurt. I got pulled it. It definitely feels better than it did like an hour ago. I just heated it and I iced it.

[00:07:48]Oh my god, what is wrong with me?

[00:07:51]I'm going to do very limited mobile mobilization today just cuz I don't want to pull it more and I have a show tonight.

[00:07:58]And I got to work my set.

[00:08:01]That's going to be my opening line.

[00:08:02]Tonight I'm going to just no [ __ ] given.

[00:08:07]Um I like I said my PCA joke, I'm not sure if that that flew so well, but that's okay.

[00:08:17]I'm going to I also don't want to just try new stuff just because not everything works last night, too.

[00:08:29]So.

[00:08:31]Good morning.

[00:08:39]Let me tell you something, when you can't get out of bed in the morning, puts a lot of [ __ ] into perspective that you were worrying about.

[00:08:46]Right?

[00:08:53]Hold on, I got to move this.

[00:09:06]I'm going to have to sit down and talk to you guys because I'm going to go da da da da.

[00:09:16]Hi everybody.

[00:09:18]I am trying to understand how to fix this back situation.

[00:09:25]Seriously, you're broken. I sprained my back.

[00:09:29]>> [laughter] >> Uh or I spasmed it or something. I went I was stretching in my um bed and all of a sudden I couldn't get up. like I I couldn't move.

[00:09:39]I was like, "Oh my god."

[00:09:42]Hi Chris.

[00:09:43]So, I like I was stretching this way.

[00:09:47]Ooh, let me just make sure I can raise my hand.

[00:09:49]And this is what they also said to do.

[00:09:52]Nope, not doing that.

[00:09:55]Why do they say to do that for mid back?

[00:09:59]Raise your arms over your head. I did that. No, I'm not doing that.

[00:10:04]But um Yeah, it says if you stretch too hard it says if you stretch too hard that it can pull it.

[00:10:21]So, uh I I stretching in bed at 44 and then my back spasmed.

[00:10:29]What happened?

[00:10:32]Here we go.

[00:10:33]A back spasm while stretching in bed is usually an acute muscle strain or cramp.

[00:10:37]When you stretch, your muscles can briefly overextend. If they are tight, dehydrated, or reacting to sleeping in an awkward position.

[00:10:44]I'm in an awkward position.

[00:10:45]Uh they may suddenly contract back to themselves causing sudden intense pain.

[00:10:49]Several factors.

[00:10:55]Dehydration.

[00:10:57]Age-related changes. At 44, the stabilizing structures and discs in your spine naturally begin to undergo minor changes.

[00:11:07]Uh which can make supporting muscles tighter or less flexible.

[00:11:21]No, my boyfriend didn't tear me up. It was me getting out of bed.

[00:11:29]I ain't even text him about it. He's going to be like, "He's spaz."

[00:11:34]I am. I literally spazzed out of bed.

[00:11:37]>> [sighs] >> So, I got to take it easy with the stretches today, guys. It's just going to be like some coffee and talking time.

[00:11:54]So, cuz I want to be able to do my show tonight and not have any pain or have it be conflicting with me getting up on stage. Oh, my toe. [ __ ] come on.

[00:12:10]Daughter spilled Cheerios all over the place and I complained about it.

[00:12:14]And then And [clears throat] then didn't clean them up. Well, she cleaned them most of them up.

[00:12:18]But then left the garbage pail on top of the counter.

[00:12:25]No, I'm not going to even stretch. I Icing and heating and I'm going to sit up straight.

[00:12:30]And then I'm going to I'm going to probably just walk slowly around my backyard later.

[00:12:35]Yes, cleaning up my backyard is not going to happen.

[00:12:39]So, remember I showed you guys this yesterday? My daughter opened this box up upside down and then it spilled everywhere. And she was like mad. I'm like, "But you did this."

[00:12:48]Oh, I'm turning into my mother. I already am my mother, but that's okay.

[00:12:55]I can use my toes to clean up Cheerios on the ground, too. So, there you go.

[00:12:59]Who can't Who can do that?

[00:13:03]That hurt.

[00:13:04]Okay, so let me show you something.

[00:13:08]What I just did is I'm picking up Cheerios from the ground with my toes that my daughter has had underneath the table and that's where my back will hurt.

[00:13:20]So, it's like I lift up the leg.

[00:13:26]It's not It's not going to work, you see? So, going to stop.

[00:13:28]I don't know if my back lags a little bit.

[00:13:31]See that hurts right there.

[00:13:36]And if I take a deep breath like that hurts a little bit.

[00:13:46]Yeah, I I think we're going to have to change wardrobe because yesterday my video said ads I don't know maybe it changed. Suddenly now the ads they can put ads on my live streams, so I don't know. I'm not I'm not down for that.

[00:14:03]I want this is where this where I want my YouTube channel to grow. I don't want people to not put ads on my channel.

[00:14:13]So I did put this set on on the members only.

[00:14:17]Um and I you know, feel free to watch it. It wasn't like I said it was it a really strong set. I will even just play some of it. Um back spasm Oh, I guess it is Hold on. What is it? Posture debris.

[00:14:44]Oh, it is letting me show ads now.

[00:14:49]I I thought it wasn't.

[00:14:51]What's up, Dustin?

[00:14:54]Oh, no, it's not. No ads earning. What?

[00:15:17]Whatever, I want to let it be for that now.

[00:15:21]Good morning.

[00:15:22]So I'm going to keep drinking water right now because I want to keep hydrating myself. If you guys are just tuning in, I pulled my back out. I was stretching in bed. All of a sudden my back started spasming. So, I heat iced it and then I took a hot bath just now or hot shower.

[00:15:45]>> [sighs and gasps] >> See like if I Oh.

[00:15:54]So, that's where we're at.

[00:15:59]I'm trying to see how I can change areas to this. Done.

[00:16:04]Good morning. So, we are just having coffee and talking about the set from last night.

[00:16:10]And um where I go from here with the show.

[00:16:17]I'm sorry if I stand up. All right, now I see it. This is going to be difficult.

[00:16:22]This does not hurt at all. That did not hurt.

[00:16:27]But Michelle relaxers muscle relaxers and ice. Yeah, I don't have muscle relaxers.

[00:16:33]I took an Advil pain. I just iced it.

[00:16:36]Put the ice pack on again.

[00:16:40]I might sit down with you guys and and drink the coffee so that I can ice my back.

[00:16:45]See?

[00:16:47]Um >> [clears throat] >> Yeah, I mean >> [snorts] >> this is like the ice pack is like what is this? It's not even so like Ah, this is good.

[00:17:03]>> [sighs] >> Let me get this set up by the couch. I feel like I'm going to need that. This is the um >> I'm going to set this up over here on my couch so I can go over here cuz I could definitely use ice it. Um so if you're just tuning in it I spazz into my back out. The the thing about stand-up is you got to be able to stand up. Everything has to be comedy.

[00:17:36]I can't wait to get married so I can be like you. Have a bottle of Malbec.

[00:17:41]What?

[00:17:42]I don't have muscle relaxers. I I'd be pro-choice.

[00:17:46]So here we go. We're going to We're going to go over by my couch so I can ice and have a walkie with you guys.

[00:17:59]Hang tight for a second.

[00:18:03]And I got to move.

[00:18:05]I'm Thank Thankful it's not as bad as it was when I got my daughter in the car for school.

[00:18:10]I'm going to throw up home.

[00:18:13]Throw up home today.

[00:18:18]I'm a [ __ ] The show went okay. I think it was much better than last time. I still felt like there was some weak areas. Um I could have done better in So today's dedication is fixing my set for tomorrow for tonight I mean.

[00:18:35]Good morning. I also just pulled my back out. So it's like not even I don't even at this point I'm like I might just I might just go into my set and be like I'm 44 years old.

[00:18:46]And I I couldn't get out of bed this morning.

[00:18:50]No, I don't know.

[00:18:52]I just want to I want to start my set differently tonight because like I could almost didn't get out of bed this morning because I I stretched. When I was 24 I would wear 3-in heels and walk 20 blocks in Manhattan and get up and do dance class. This I'm I'm 44. This morning I did a weird stretch and I couldn't move for 5 hours.

[00:19:13]So, life is taking a different turn.

[00:19:16]Um no, I'm fine actually, but you know, I'm going to make that joke. But I am a happy person.

[00:19:27]So, I'm going to be in Jersey City tonight. So, it might be a just a lot of 30-something olds or 20-somethings.

[00:19:32]And the [ __ ] I can't handle you.

[00:19:38]>> [snorts] [clears throat] >> Well, Justin, I'm not doing my stand-up for you right now. I'm just going over to sit down because I'm in pain.

[00:19:48]Actually, I'm I'm not not in that much pain. I'm just it just feels like I need to ice it. That's all.

[00:19:58]So, I I just I don't want to stray too far from my set tonight, but like I feel like some of the I can play it for you guys, too. Let's listen to some of the material.

[00:20:13]Did you guys watch my set?

[00:20:20]Of course, no. Of course, I'm going to stand up later. I won't sit down.

[00:20:28]But also, there's people there's comics who are in wheelchairs. Do you realize that, right?

[00:20:35]I stretched and then my back spasms and then I couldn't move.

[00:20:39]And it was difficult for me to breathe.

[00:20:42]I was trying to um learn how to stream on Streamlabs and I can't see my camera. And then all of a sudden, I was doing this for a while.

[00:20:53]Oh, so Matt Matt says somebody said something. Good morning.

[00:20:58]Uh I'll be live at 12:00 p.m.

[00:21:03]Trying to figure out trying to figure out uh Streamlabs.

[00:21:08]Does anyone ever use Streamlabs?

[00:21:16]I You met me last night, Dustin?

[00:21:19]How do I watch my set? You got to be a member.

[00:21:23]So, my set is on is on uh for members only.

[00:21:27]So, and you can actually I can I can play a clip for you.

[00:21:35]First of all, the lighting was horrible in that video.

[00:21:42]Here it is. Beginning now.

[00:21:53]That woman looked me up and down.

[00:21:56]First of [clears throat] all, I don't know if Did I do my high kick? I'm probably not going to do a high kick today.

[00:22:01]Who is that?

[00:22:05]You can't really play this because they're going to copyright me.

[00:22:09]There's So, there's I'm There's a song playing.

[00:22:17]So, I did the So, I The song is still playing. The song is still playing. Okay, there you go.

[00:22:31]Yes, thank you. Hi, guys.

[00:22:37]>> I'm so happy to be here. Give it up to the MC Hotel in Montclair.

[00:22:45]I am such a happy person. Like, but I wasn't always this happy. A long time ago, I was very miserable. I was very depressed. I wouldn't get out of bed.

[00:22:55]I was married.

[00:23:02]And And I'm into divorce.

[00:23:04]>> [screaming] >> My milkshake brings all the boys from Louisville.

[00:23:12]Don't worry, married couples. You can't catch it.

[00:23:15]No, I am excited. I >> Not a bad start, right? Not a bad start.

[00:23:20]>> I'm going to show all the divorce diaries. I'm very proud of my show. I have a fine.

[00:23:25]Done a lot of hard work with it. But you know, you still get some hate. When you people hear the word divorce, I get a lot of comments. This is my favorite comment.

[00:23:33]What's so funny about divorce?

[00:23:36]Divorce leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

[00:23:40]Yeah? What's so funny?

[00:23:42]>> [laughter] >> Now, I've already in the set gotten further than I did in my last time there. So, I was like, all right, at least I'm getting them laughing. Now, the problem was um I'm not like Good morning. I got to find a way of like tuning in to say, "Hey."

[00:24:05]Like I don't want to go with all new openers if the crowd is younger. But and they weren't younger, but I like to freshen it up a little bit.

[00:24:17]Like right now I feel like, uh I don't know.

[00:24:21]Um I can't do jumping jacks today. I pulled some my back spasmed. So, I have to take it a little bit of an ease. I have to take it easy for a second. So, I'm sorry about the disappointment for you.

[00:24:34]I'm going to sit up and ice my back now.

[00:24:55]So Oh my Okay. Oh, [ __ ] So, I'm going to put the light on over here so you can see me better.

[00:25:06]Okay, hang on.

[00:25:19]Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

[00:25:23]Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

[00:25:27]Ow.

[00:25:29]This is pathetic.

[00:25:31]Oh, [ __ ] >> [sighs and gasps] >> Oh, this is This looks like geriatric.

[00:25:37][laughter] This looks so geriatric.

[00:25:49]This isn't even enough. This is not enough like coldness either. So, hang on.

[00:25:58]Like, I don't know.

[00:26:04]>> [snorts] >> This is definitely not enough coldness in the uh >> [snorts] >> Sorry.

[00:26:30]Oh god. Okay.

[00:26:33]This is insane.

[00:26:36]Okay, I pulled my back.

[00:26:38]>> [gasps] >> So, I'm icing it. I hope this is like enough cold This [snorts] is not cold enough, but that's okay.

[00:26:47]All right. I just I should just probably wait to heat this up.

[00:26:55]There we go.

[00:26:57]Okay.

[00:26:58]So, >> [clears throat and snorts] >> it's not like the ice packs. It's not big enough.

[00:27:12]I need like multiple ices.

[00:27:16]Without the light was better. I didn't think so.

[00:27:19]All right, that feels a little bit better now. Okay. So, Yeah, no, I did Google it. No, my boyfriend can't give me a massage, but you got to be careful when you have a back spasm. You have to like go to physical therapy cuz you you have to like know what I was saying I'm just saying like it's not the kind of massage where oh, that feels good like you pulled your back. This is like woo, I [ __ ] it up.

[00:27:45]Without the light looks younger. Thanks.

[00:27:48]Cuz what? I was in the dark?

[00:27:50]Um so, this bit was funny.

[00:27:53]>> [laughter] >> I am a single mom. That's why I dress like the manager at Forever 21.

[00:28:04]>> [laughter] >> Forever 44. Um >> [laughter] >> I can't keep up with the school moms, you know?

[00:28:13]Anyone Anyone You guys are some moms here, right? Any of the school moms here?

[00:28:17]You know, all the school moms are on juice cleanses. I'm on a vodka cleanse.

[00:28:24]>> [laughter] >> Okay, just me.

[00:28:26]So, see, that didn't work.

[00:28:29]And then I was like maybe and then I was like I use sometimes I get like a reaction.

[00:28:35]So, I just did okay, just me. So, I like to have like a setup after if it doesn't work or just like respond to them.

[00:28:48]But I don't know.

[00:28:51]>> [laughter] >> You know you know that group of women they're called the PTA? Parent Teacher Association.

[00:28:58]I like to call them [ __ ] to avoid.

[00:29:02]>> [laughter] >> Nothing.

[00:29:03]>> It's okay. In the corner.

[00:29:05]>> Ah, nothing.

[00:29:06]>> I know you're I'm sorry. Yeah, I just can't. It's like they're all standing there at drop-off in the morning showing off with their teeth all brushed.

[00:29:17]>> [laughter] >> None of you All right, then everyone in the back there has great hygiene. Fine.

[00:29:25]>> [laughter] >> Stick one up.

[00:29:26]>> No, but you know the the head of the PTA I call her you're the >> So it wasn't as bad as January. It wasn't as great. There was the one day with the bartending was the bar the part that got the most >> I go Oh, you got to buy like a mini skirt.

[00:29:48]They're all mean 21. I was a happy drunk 21 year old. I would still like drink all over people and then buy them shots.

[00:29:57]Put it on my >> This is more storytelling. This is where I'm like I don't know if this is going well.

[00:30:02]But then >> That's great content.

[00:30:05]>> [laughter] >> And now these girls would come into the bar where I was working in my 30s and they were nasty and mean and drunk and they would get even mad at me for being there.

[00:30:17]You're standing in my selfie light.

[00:30:21]I have I have to see the drinks.

[00:30:24]And they would order drinks I don't know how to make. They look at me and can I get five green tea shots?

[00:30:32]>> [laughter] >> What's in a green tea shot? I don't know how to make that. I'm looking at them like I'm like I don't know how to make that. Can you just take the shot of Jameson?

[00:30:40]And she looked back at me like I I like the way that tastes.

[00:30:47]I'm like, "Honey, you're drunk. In about an hour you'll have some guy's dick down your throat. You think that >> [laughter] >> tastes good?"

[00:30:56]Shovel the shot of whiskey down your Botox bloated platypus lip face and shut the [ __ ] up.

[00:31:04]>> [laughter] >> I'm also a teacher.

[00:31:09]>> [laughter] >> So, yeah, thank you. Anybody a teacher?

[00:31:14]>> That got like the most laughs there.

[00:31:16]Thanks, Wheeler, for the super chat. Um it You can watch the whole set if you're a member. You can see like what what I was talking about last night. It was like, okay, I got to like figure out tonight what am I going in with because I'm I'm just I'm just doing a I don't know how much time I'm doing, either.

[00:31:36]I need more pause.

[00:31:38]I think I'm taking too long.

[00:31:40]I think I just have to get to the punchline here uh quicker.

[00:31:45]Like the bartending bit is when I I would I liked being a bartender in my 20s cuz it was fun.

[00:31:52]You know, you got paid to dick shots to hot guys.

[00:31:55]You know, and then in in the 30s when I went back to bartending, I had a kid.

[00:31:59]I was broke.

[00:32:01]Like every drink was rent money, you know, like now and and and the the 21-year-olds I was serving were like are worse than I was.

[00:32:11]They have They had like they This is the thing is that the the the It was the shots. The the shots I don't know how to make.

[00:32:18]And then it would be annoying to deal with these girls.

[00:32:28]I don't know.

[00:32:31]I got to keep playing with it.

[00:32:33]Um Initials GC says the school mom dick doesn't work when you're more attractive and fit than them. Interesting. You think that's what it is?

[00:32:49]Extended pause a lot draws you in more.

[00:32:51]You may have gone too fast.

[00:32:53]I don't know.

[00:32:54]I felt like I was Also, like she like she lit me twice and she told me I had 15 and I I stopped my camera. I was like, I was only at 14.

[00:33:02]Why did she let me twice?

[00:33:05]So, that was the other thing. I didn't get to do my closer.

[00:33:08]>> He's white.

[00:33:09]>> [applause] >> Should have never did the write up write me up jokes. That did not work. The the student joke did not work.

[00:33:19]Where's the bien venidos?

[00:33:22]>> I date that guy.

[00:33:24]>> [laughter] >> Yeah. So, I was like sick of it. Like, I'm going to a therapist. I want I want to >> Fire.

[00:33:31]>> Wait.

[00:33:33]I know.

[00:33:34]It only goes off though if it's triggered.

[00:33:37]What did she do?

[00:33:39]She looked through your phone? Crazy.

[00:33:42]I know with dates. They always were like the first date they would go, "Yo, my ex is crazy."

[00:33:48]Spanish while choking me while we make love.

[00:33:52]And every time I would date these these these specific black guys. I'm saying your leg. I'm saying this specific you know, like they can serenade me in Spanish while choking me while we make love.

[00:34:03]>> [laughter] >> And every time I would date these guys, you know, like they can serenade Right there. Hi guys. They're like corporate America. They I know. I feel like, "Okay, my house is the best."

[00:34:16]Yeah, there's something about the Latin guys, you know, the big Latin guys from the street, you know, like they can serenade me in Spanish while choking me while we make love.

[00:34:26]>> [laughter] >> And every time I would date >> What did she do?

[00:34:31]>> [laughter] >> And then like 10 years of dating this They're like four >> [laughter] >> I've been with so many Latin men that I have a tattoo above my vagina that says "Bienvenidos."

[00:34:43]>> [laughter] >> Waiting for that table. Is that table alive back? That one was all right. I mean, I just feel like it was okay.

[00:34:53]Everything was okay, and I feel like I'm just I feel like I just feel like I it's just I don't know.

[00:35:07]I think the head like so basically I have to I want to attempt it tonight. I don't want to shift so much, but I want to look at my set and be like, "Okay.

[00:35:16]So, if we go into this crowd should I I just go be my I I I don't want to shift too much cuz I'm going to throw myself off because I can't write a whole new set and see what works. I got to tweak things.

[00:35:29]I know that that do Danny says, "Do more bits of comparing being older to younger." This is a bit right now you're sitting with ice in your back from doing a high kick.

[00:35:38]That's funny. Yeah, and I'm not even sitting with ice in my back from doing a high kick. I stretched out of bed. And now I can't move.

[00:35:48]I'm not trans. [ __ ] you. Okay?

[00:35:51]And honestly like I I don't if you're trying to insult me, there's been a lot worse. Just say I look like a man. I would tell you if I was trans. I am not.

[00:36:03]My [ __ ] face looks like a man cuz I look like my dad, but I'm also a beautiful woman. So, shove it.

[00:36:14]I do. I had heat on it for a little bit.

[00:36:18]Are you trans? Shut the [ __ ] up.

[00:36:22]Jerk off.

[00:36:30]>> Yes, I just and I already established that. Thank you, though.

[00:36:35]We got to figure out a different challenge when we get to 100 jumping jacks because I can't do the 100 jumping jacks. I could, but I don't want to hurt my back more and then you guys are out a whole week of jumping jacks.

[00:36:47]Stop in the name of love.

[00:36:51]Ow.

[00:36:53]>> [sighs and gasps] >> Hi, Joan. Um So, All right. Today is a show in Jersey City.

[00:37:02]Um I can't Oh, Manny. Manny has the set.

[00:37:06]I want to ask him if there's any way he could send me the set.

[00:37:09]I can listen to it, too. Hold on.

[00:37:12]Listen to the difference from Okay, let's try this out. Hang on. What day was it that I I did Manny's show?

[00:37:27]What day was it that I did Manny's show for May 3rd or something?

[00:37:32]Uh I'm going to have to Manny's show is what day?

[00:37:39]I think it was this day, right?

[00:37:42]>> [clears throat] >> You know those school moms they're called the PTA, parent-teacher association?

[00:37:55]I used to call them [ __ ] to avoid >> All right, so it works there or is it not working?

[00:38:06]>> You just clap for everything. I love you, Sarah.

[00:38:08]There's a most too. How many years?

[00:38:10]>> That was at the dojo.

[00:38:12]Um I got to just go in tonight and be like, "I'm so happy to be here." Uh I turned 44 this year.

[00:38:22]If I could go back and tell my 24-year-old self one thing, it would be this.

[00:38:27]Love yourself.

[00:38:29]Go out and buy yourself a really good vibrator and figure it out because most 24-year-old men don't know how to figure it out.

[00:38:41]And I'm putting them down. I'm just saying it's real. Like they don't know how to pleasure you cuz they their system is a little different than ours. Like it's a lot It's like we need a you need like a user manual for ours.

[00:38:54]Do you know what I mean?

[00:38:56]Theirs isn't as complicated. Theirs is like I It's Theirs is like a a three-step [ __ ] system. Oh, that's what you have to do for it to finish. Great. Okay.

[00:39:08]But for us, you feel like you need a user manual because not everybody's is the same. And it's the same thing for a guy, but it's pretty much the same. Do you know what I mean?

[00:39:21]Going vulgar on the first letter throws everyone off.

[00:39:25]Getting a vibrator I will see what the crowd's like.

[00:39:33]Parents to avoid.

[00:39:35]Um I like [ __ ] to avoid. I don't know.

[00:39:39]They're mostly women.

[00:39:41]Cuz men know to stay away from those [ __ ] Or the men are married to them and want to stay away from them.

[00:39:50]I don't know.

[00:39:51]We'll We'll keep figuring it out.

[00:39:53]As long as I can walk life is good.

[00:40:00]Uh I don't know what you're saying, Joan.

[00:40:05]I used to say parents I used to say parents parent-teacher organization or what I like to call cult.

[00:40:13]Uh This was another one I wrote yesterday, but Oh god. Okay.

[00:40:31]I was trying to figure out Streamlabs before and I don't know how. Does anyone use Streamlabs by any chance?

[00:40:43]You got a massager to help with the back pain. I have one, but it's it's not like it's it it spasmed. I don't want to massage it. I think that's going to hurt it more.

[00:40:55]So, we're just going to ice it for a little bit.

[00:40:58]Calling them a cult is funny.

[00:41:00]Parent-Teacher Association or I like to call cult.

[00:41:07]I have another label for these women.

[00:41:11][ __ ] No, see I like [ __ ] to avoid. But you guys So, I don't know.

[00:41:21]I don't know. I just I felt I did feel I did feel better that it was better than the time before. So, I was like, "I'm doing something, right?" And then I watched the headliner and he was really funny. And I was like, "And that's what I want to be like when I grow up." But [ __ ] you 44.

[00:41:36]It shouldn't hold genuine hatred. It seeps please to the comedy if it isn't subtle.

[00:41:41]Whatever your issue with women authority shouldn't be so obvious unless it's scathing.

[00:41:50]I don't know. I still think it's funny.

[00:41:52]Ah.

[00:41:56]I don't really have The issue I have with these women is that I always feel judged. You know, like they're standing there at drop-off.

[00:42:07]Out the gate showing off.

[00:42:10]You know?

[00:42:11]With their teeth brushed.

[00:42:13]And sometimes people get it and some people don't.

[00:42:17]I did get some good laughs, but that's not See, now when I you've been in the game for a while, you're like that's that's like mediocre laughs. And also, you can hear some of it's just one person laughing, which is really loud.

[00:42:31]Initials. Also, punching down on a woman as a woman is always going to get you a cooler response. I honestly feel like I've always gotten good responses from that bit.

[00:42:41]But maybe I cuz I've gotten women in the crowd that are like, "Yeah, [applause] I hate those [cheering] bitches!"

[00:42:50]I don't know. I can't please everybody, but maybe Where's Manny's set? I don't know where What was the day?

[00:43:07]>> [laughter] >> No, what day did I do Manny's show? I can't remember.

[00:43:25]No, it was, but I mean, there's you you got to make you got to make it for everybody. Like, uh I may be saying, you know, I can't keep up with the school moms as hard as I try, I don't feel like I fit in.

[00:43:39]And I know that's a group of women called the PTA.

[00:43:45]Parent-Teacher Association.

[00:43:48]I like to secretly call them [ __ ] to avoid.

[00:43:52]Because they're always asking you for some [ __ ] Which you don't have it, you know? You got money for Boardwalk Bingo? You going to be a chaperone at the dance?

[00:44:04]Why aren't you wearing a bra? Like, shut you know?

[00:44:12]No 4-year-old can high kick. Yes, they can. There's 4-year-olds that can high kick.

[00:44:17]I'm just playing around with the bit to see what I can shift differently.

[00:44:23]Okay.

[00:44:25]Um so, if you're just tuning in, guys, I pulled my back a little bit.

[00:44:37]Yeah, this hurts.

[00:44:46]All right. So, today's a little different stream because I woke up and stretched my back and literally couldn't move.

[00:44:53]So, now I had to ice and heat. Ow.

[00:44:57]And I am icing my back now so that I can be okay for being on stage tonight.

[00:45:05]So, initials says, "You aren't showing your own vulnerability though. How do you feel about people laughing at you versus with you? Is that something you're comfortable with?"

[00:45:14]I mean, I'm a stand-up comedian.

[00:45:17]Yes, I've been doing that. Doctor, open your eyes. Thank you. It's a group of chicks just trying to take a break.

[00:45:23]Good morning.

[00:45:36]Okay, hang on.

[00:45:56]Do we like the PTA joke?

[00:45:58]I thought that was my stronger joke, but I was going to use that on Kill Tony.

[00:46:02]Good thing I didn't even get on.

[00:46:04]That's not my good I just felt like the [ __ ] to avoid I've I've gotten laughs from that one. Let's see. Let me listen to the dojo one.

[00:46:22]Like um [ __ ] Okay, let's see. Here it is. Is it here?

[00:46:28]Like I thought the ex lottery ticket was a good joke. Now I sound Nothing I have is good. All right, shut up, Shell.

[00:46:34]Uh here it is.

[00:46:38]>> I got one challenge for you. Try with >> No, I don't.

[00:46:47]school mom? Yeah, which is why I'm dressed like the manager at Forever 21.

[00:46:53]>> [laughter] >> Yeah, I'm not your typical school mom.

[00:46:56]Oh, school moms are on a juice cleanse. I'm on a vodka cleanse.

[00:47:02]Yeah, thank you.

[00:47:04]There they are. Every morning at school drop-off, standing there showing off with their teeth all brushed.

[00:47:14]>> [laughter] >> Michelle, are you drinking from a plastic straw?

[00:47:23]Do you know what plastic does to the planet?

[00:47:26]Yes, the same thing it does to your face.

[00:47:30]Oh, I forgot. I didn't use the PTA one here. I didn't use the PTA [ __ ] to avoid joke.

[00:47:37]Uh I'll just do it again tonight if it happens. I'm just keep reworking [ __ ] This is what I just feel like this is the year where I'm going to have to keep reworking [ __ ] And um Whatever works works. Whatever doesn't, we keep we keep trucking along, you know?

[00:47:56]Um I think Oh, like for example, this was the St. Mark's show and I felt like it was one of my strongest. Um, but What is this one?

[00:48:15]Which one better?

[00:48:17]The St. Mark's video?

[00:48:20]That crowd was great, too.

[00:48:23]That was a good crowd.

[00:48:38]I just got to keep tweaking it until it's like right. And it is if it's not going to work for um, the plastic bit The plastic bit, yeah.

[00:48:50]So, this was a another um, This was something I also, let's see, man, I also was doing I'm going to tell you, I don't I don't even care anymore. I'm just going to have fun tonight. The fact that I was scared I wasn't able to move this morning freaked me the [ __ ] out.

[00:49:10]Uh, I date Latin men.

[00:49:14]No, where is it?

[00:49:18]Mm, hang on.

[00:49:21]Hang on, hang on.

[00:49:24]Okay.

[00:49:28]The Aristocrats joke? I'll look it up.

[00:49:39]Sorry, so We're going to move back to this video.

[00:49:53]I definitely I definitely feel a lot better than it was before.

[00:49:57]Ooh, thank god.

[00:49:59]It really scared me.

[00:50:02]Good morning.

[00:50:03]Guys, it's a little bit of a different stream because I pulled my my back spasm this morning. So, I'm just I iced and heated my back. It's feeling a lot better, but it was a little scary.

[00:50:18]You're Latino. Good for you. When the end benitos.

[00:50:23]Feliz Navidad, [ __ ] I want to text my mom so she doesn't worry cuz she just worries.

[00:50:38]Like me.

[00:50:45]I just want to start this my saying that I'm so happy to be here. This morning I stretched and something happened in my back. I couldn't move.

[00:50:53]When you're 24, you can wear heels, slide down poles.

[00:51:02]>> [clears throat] >> 44 you you yawn and something gets pulled and you can't walk for a week. And it's not 44 is not old.

[00:51:13]It's just It's just God being like, "Bitch, you about to Like I don't know what it is. It's not even that old. It's just like the universe telling you, "You're moving to the back of the shelf.

[00:51:30]You're not the first picked."

[00:51:33]>> [sighs] >> Just I don't know. I'm playing around with that.

[00:51:44]>> [clears throat] >> The cougar bit did not work, by the way.

[00:51:51]Did not.

[00:51:54]Uh I got to play with that one, too.

[00:52:05]The thing is, I think that the guy who that guy who headlined, he's the uh he he's the he warms up the crowd for The Daily Show.

[00:52:15]He was great.

[00:52:17]I got to text Karen and thank her for last night, too.

[00:52:22]Let me text her, actually. Hang on.

[00:52:25]Thank you again for the spot.

[00:52:30]Uh thank you again for the spot, Mama.

[00:52:43]I I can't watch it now. This is going to get a copyright thing.

[00:52:47]Uh that's what Karen said her name is.

[00:52:49]Her name is actually Karen.

[00:52:57]This is one of the other jokes I was going to do.

[00:53:00]Uh perfect mom. She tries to give backhanded compliments. Maybe I have to do the PTA, Parent Teacher Association, or what I like to call cult.

[00:53:12]And there's the head of the PTA. I call her perfect mom. I do everything organic. I cook organic. I clean organic. My pussy's organic. That's maybe what I should try tonight. I've done it that way, too. Should I try it that way tonight? I don't know.

[00:53:31]She tries to give backhanded compliments. Did you get your hair done?

[00:53:36]I see the roots.

[00:53:43]Is that a new t-shirt or a hand-me-down?

[00:53:47]I have a bunch of clothes from when I was a lot heavier if you want them.

[00:53:54]And I don't understand why she says that to me cuz I'm like 50 lbs.

[00:54:01]Uh, that's what I want, lady. Your Lane Bryant t-shirts wear as a blanket. I don't know, I just wrote that down yesterday.

[00:54:14][ __ ] it, just do it. Yeah.

[00:54:21]I will. I'll watch it later. Don't Don't worry. I'm not I'm I I'm I'm sure Okay, hang on.

[00:54:32]I have heard of it. I just forgot.

[00:54:44]I'm good about this. Okay. So, I just want to Ah, it feels a lot better.

[00:54:53]It really does.

[00:54:54]Like a lot better.

[00:54:57]Ah, it still hurts a little bit there.

[00:54:59]We're not We're getting used to the high kicks.

[00:55:02]I'm going to text my mom. It says it feels a lot better now. I I Hasten Heeded it.

[00:55:08]I Hasten Heeded.

[00:55:20]Tell my boyfriend to go easy. It's not from him. I pull I I stretched.

[00:55:26]That's what I should say in my opening.

[00:55:27]Be like, "I'm so happy to be here because this morning I stretched and I couldn't get out of bed."

[00:55:33]What a Friday. Can you imagine waking up and you're like, "It's a beautiful" It's like, "This is how I I can't get up."

[00:55:46]Why divorce? Why not? Can't help but to laugh, I mean. It comes off hostile.

[00:55:52]You've got to switch that joke 180 and make yourself the antagonist. Which joke?

[00:55:57]Got my hopes up.

[00:56:15]Some audience like that PTA joke, others don't. Now, my friend was there last night. She's not a mom, but she's a professor and a teacher, and she's watched me perform Haven't seen me perform in a while. They liked the college bit, but that didn't get as many laughs as I hoped.

[00:56:35]Except towards the end.

[00:56:39]But let me see. Where was the What was the video I did 12 minutes somewhere? Is this it?

[00:56:45]>> Uh she won't be live streaming this.

[00:56:47]>> No, this is uh When did I go to Yes, this is it.

[00:56:59]>> Hey you guys.

[00:57:02]>> I can't keep up with these women. There they are. Every morning at drop-off, standing there with their Stanley cups, >> [laughter] >> their clipboards, showing off.

[00:57:16]Like their teeth are brushed.

[00:57:19]>> [laughter] >> And there's a gaggle of them, you know?

[00:57:22]And I like to say that they're soccer moms. She told them, "We got >> Wait.

[00:57:26]>> Hey you guys.

[00:57:28]>> Wait.

[00:57:30]>> Oh, is that This is Thursday night. It's not Friday. Hi, guys.

[00:57:34]>> Hey you guys.

[00:57:35]>> [laughter] >> Yes, excuse me.

[00:57:40]I want to get your attention right now.

[00:57:42]There's got to be a a joke about the fact that I have to just go in and have fun tonight cuz I I my back I literally almost couldn't walk today. Like I don't know the [ __ ] happened.

[00:57:55]Um and I got to really just take lean into my confidence. I just want I want joke joke joke joke joke. I don't want to have small pauses.

[00:58:04]Sometimes comedy isn't about quirkiness or toxins, it's just about love. What the [ __ ] are you talking about?

[00:58:11]What is it? Uh bong hole, I didn't know what you said before.

[00:58:19]That was to God.

[00:58:26]I don't know what your last comment and then your other comment are part of the Tony Hinchcliffe senior in Austin. Are you in Austin because I was just there?

[00:58:33]And I did my show in Austin.

[00:58:36]Think you can work something in about so much life where they look like Power Rangers.

[00:58:41]Ah, that's funny.

[00:58:46]Well, let's talk about it. This is what used to bother me is that they would email Oh, you know what? There was a joke I did that they would email you incessantly about stupid [ __ ] Oh my God, sign up for the And it's not stupid because it is stuff that you care about for your kid, but when you don't Like in other words, the PTA doesn't mean harm, but I'm going to cause them harm if they don't stop emailing me.

[00:59:16]I get it. I didn't sign up to volunteer at the dance and I'm never going to.

[00:59:25]I don't want to be at the grade dance. I I I don't want to be there. I don't want to remember it. In eighth grade, I was flat-chested.

[00:59:35]I I didn't grow my boobies yet. I mean, I started to grow them. They were little A cups.

[00:59:40]But like, I don't want to remember the fact that I didn't get kissed yet by a boy. Like, [ __ ] you.

[00:59:47]Now, you see how it triggers me?

[00:59:49]I did actually like my eighth grade dance a lot. It was a lot of fun. I had a new best friend and we used to have That kicked off my fun I feel like the end of eighth grade kicked off my fun and amazing high school experience like with my friends. But Did you know one of the Power Rangers is in prison for murder? No, what?

[01:00:06]What?

[01:00:08]Let me guess.

[01:00:12]The white ranger?

[01:00:15]I only say that because I don't know No, the red ranger.

[01:00:21]My prom was great.

[01:00:24]The day after my prom, I met my one of my best friends in life we in doing musical theater. Him and his girlfriend What?

[01:00:38]Go go to jail, Power Rangers. Which Power Ranger is that?

[01:00:45]I'm trying to figure out where Oh, here this is. Okay.

[01:01:00]>> [laughter] >> All right, this is a definitely something I will do for [ __ ] $1,200.

[01:01:10]The prison ranger?

[01:01:25]>> 6:15 can be flexible. What's the week of 6:15?

[01:01:29]calendar for June the 26th.

[01:01:34]Uh I am available 15th through the 19th.

[01:01:42]6:15 through 6:19.

[01:01:47]Choose a photo.

[01:01:52]Um so I get these like uh UGC commercials from a casting agent and um a casting director and some I'm always like no, no, no, but this is like $2,000. I was like, okay.

[01:02:08]What does it say?

[01:02:12]Confirm your interest.

[01:02:14]Uh must be willing to have the shoot pay your home.

[01:02:21]Oh, wait a minute. I thought it was Oh, I think I just did the wrong thing.

[01:02:31]Oopsie. Oh, well.

[01:02:33]I thought they were paying $2,000. It says like they're going to install a water filtration system into your home.

[01:02:45]What is it?

[01:02:47]A retired couple is selling a boat and they came to look at their boat and took it out for a cruise.

[01:02:58]Oh, all right.

[01:03:29]>> It's okay.

[01:03:30]Um Thank you. So guys, I don't know what to do when it comes to the set tonight. Do I just stick with what I had planned?

[01:03:42]Do I do something different? I'm not different, but like I got to go back and look cuz I'm just getting like now I got to I got to do the work today.

[01:03:54]You know like my PTA jokes didn't work.

[01:03:55]The bartending joke wasn't great. No, well, the bartending joke, my friends liked the college. They were like the college bit. They said, "Oh."

[01:04:04]Um I guess I got to start with the Friday joke I usually do.

[01:04:13]Uh I may need to do my Italian mom. I don't know.

[01:04:19]So neurotic I give Pepto-Bismol the shits.

[01:04:22]That's not funny. Just starting to think I suck completely. Stop being negative, Michelle. No, I can't help it. Our brains were born this way. Oh, you were born this way. Now I'm just talking to myself. Well, I am talking to myself on the mic zoom, but out.

[01:04:42]Boom, boom, boom. Can't you jump in jacks today cuz I had a back spasm.

[01:04:51]Good lord, that was really [ __ ] scary.

[01:04:55]Uh No, I don't know.

[01:05:02]What do I write with? I have my computer and then I I write with this as well.

[01:05:09]Mic out.

[01:05:14]My new joke book, everybody.

[01:05:17]We got to 100 likes.

[01:05:19]1 2 3 4 5 I can do this. 7 8 9 10 No, I can't, guys. I don't want to hurt myself more.

[01:05:33]>> [sighs] >> Thank you. I hope so, too.

[01:05:35]It does feel a lot better than it did before, so I'm happy about that.

[01:05:41]All right, let me just show you what I just did that hurts.

[01:05:45]Watch, ready?

[01:05:47]I went like down here.

[01:05:50]That's where it hurt. Now, we're going to We're going to keep icing it.

[01:06:03]Ah, this feels good.

[01:06:09]Thank you so much. We got to 105 likes.

[01:06:11]What should we do in place of the jumping jacks? Suggestions welcome.

[01:06:17]Maybe we could use some hips. 1 2 3 4 5 This is just weird. 6 Um all right, so I have a show tonight in Jer- Jersey City.

[01:06:31]Uh happy to do uh can you twerk?

[01:06:36]I can barely move my back right now. I can't twerk, but I I can try.

[01:06:43]Push-ups? I feel like this is kind of what led to the back spasm. I don't know. I was so proud of myself doing the Merzbow challenge, and I'm like, uh-oh.

[01:06:57]Maybe I have to put a piece in there of that.

[01:07:01]Trying to keep up with my younger self here, and I'm pulling my back out.

[01:07:07]No, I refuse to I refuse to blame age.

[01:07:09]You can take care of yourself and still be mindful and know that you have sometimes stuff like this happens you have to make sure you ice and heat and take stretches. That's why I want to be in physical therapy regularly so that I can always have a backup when I feel that when this kind of stuff happens.

[01:07:30]>> [snorts] >> I don't know why we're on the Power Rangers bit, but that is funny and interesting.

[01:07:35]Got to get with younger men. I am with a younger man. He's 8 years younger than me.

[01:07:41]I'm just trying to help, girl. I don't know about the push-ups. I'm not about to do them.

[01:07:45]All right, you can go to Oh, can you do like straight in cam?

[01:07:49]What?

[01:07:51]Just got out of a 5-year relationship a week ago. How do you keep the mutual friends but she wants to be friends or at least friendly?

[01:07:59]Uh 5 years.

[01:08:02]I don't know. I I That would be hard. I I I don't know.

[01:08:08]I'm not a big like keeping the exes around in your life unless you have a child to be honest with you. Like I just after 11 years of being divorced I like my uh ex-husband's wife is now just following me on Instagram.

[01:08:25]I would I would not have allowed that like couple years ago. I'd be like, "No, keep the world separate."

[01:08:31]Now they're like married and I'm like, "All right."

[01:08:35]I just don't like people I mean, look, I'm out here. She's watching me stand up and it's fine, but it's just like you know, when you're playing for the other team, I don't like you knowing my business. I don't know if that makes sense to a lot of you, but it's just like Like even last night I was finishing in my show and they were here at my apartment with my daughter cuz they had brought picture from practice and I was like, "I can't post any pictures yet cuz they're going to be like, 'Well, what is she doing with her kid?'" Like I In my head, I know. I already making no sense, but I don't know. I still don't have to keep my world separate, but I would be happy to wake up next to that every morning. Thank you.

[01:09:15]Five and a half years I was married.

[01:09:18]Dustin says it makes sense.

[01:09:20]Not everybody agrees with that and that's fine. I I just Coffee.

[01:09:26]I just like having the worlds separated.

[01:09:32]You know?

[01:09:34]Ouch.

[01:09:36]Oh.

[01:09:45]See like if I do that, it hurts a little bit, but let's hug ourselves. Give ourselves a big hug.

[01:09:54]So, the stretching and all my normal like challenges have to be on pause today because I spasmed my back out.

[01:10:03]Make your bed my bed. I'm not going to be making it today. Things are going to have to stay a little messy. Okay.

[01:10:09]Uh she she's some work, sir. 44-year-old high kicker.

[01:10:16]Yeah, I'm a high kicker.

[01:10:33]Wait, what did you say about the bartender bit?

[01:10:39]I don't know what you said about the bartender bit.

[01:10:46]I must be 6 ft tall. No, I'm 5'4.

[01:10:51]I'm trying to see how Does anybody Has anyone ever used Streamlabs? Because I was trying to use it and um um It's all right. I'll figure it out later.

[01:11:13]Undo the right now.

[01:11:15]Um I'd say she's short. I'm 5'4.

[01:11:17]Uh how many years of marriage were you happy?

[01:11:21]Hm.

[01:11:23]Favorite bar joke?

[01:11:26]That's Okay.

[01:11:28]Yo mama horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

[01:11:33]Um Well, yeah, but I have my I'm 5'4.

[01:11:43]That's it. Some people think I'm taller, too. They be like, "I thought you were taller."

[01:11:47]I was like, "No, I'm short, honey."

[01:11:50]5'3 and 3/4.

[01:11:57]Okay, so sometimes things happen in life and you have to be grateful for what you have and this morning was a reminder that I'm grateful I can walk because my back spasmed and and I felt like I I couldn't move and I couldn't breathe.

[01:12:11]I feel I feel like a a lot better than I did at 7:50 when I was like screaming help for my daughter.

[01:12:22]So, uh the show tonight, what are we doing with it? What am I doing on stage?

[01:12:29]Cuz some bits did not work and some bits worked and now I feel like going in just improving it.

[01:12:35]Uh except I don't want to improve it. I want to be prepared.

[01:12:40]Uh nice shoes should be able to flip them upside down. You can't when they are too tall.

[01:12:47]Oh, [ __ ] >> I also like don't like when the producers don't tell you how much time you're doing until you get there. It's like I need to be prepared, but you should be prepared no matter what. Like have your 5-minute, your 10-minute, your 15-minute. Like if I'm going in with a 10-minute set tonight, I know what I'm ending with.

[01:13:14]You know, and I'm not The thing is like I thought I had a lot of teaching material stuff. It's just not working. It's not blending together.

[01:13:22]So, I'm getting depressed. I suck. No, I'm kidding.

[01:13:26]I don't suck. I just I'm realizing how much work I need to do, and that's good because that's going to help me be stronger. How many minutes is your set tonight? I don't know. I'm going to I'm going to uh ask right now. Uh eyes up here. Let's see.

[01:13:44]Hi, boo.

[01:13:46]What day is the show? Sides 8:00 p.m.

[01:14:02]How much time?

[01:14:14]You're short and stout you dude. Well, all right.

[01:14:18]So, I just asked how much time I'm doing.

[01:14:22]I have my sets written out 5, 10, 15.

[01:14:27]So, I think I'm just going to play around with that.

[01:14:31]I look like such a generous and responsive lover. Thank you. I take that as a compliment. I think I am.

[01:14:42]I'm not Are they Yeah, of course.

[01:14:50]Sorry. Yes, some things some spots are not if they're guest spots, but yes, yes, both of them did. Paid paid spots, yes.

[01:14:59]Very very much so.

[01:15:05]Uh what time I have this meeting on the phone? It's going to be at 11:30, I think.

[01:15:10]You know, this guy never contacted me back. I need Okay.

[01:15:37]Come to the UK.

[01:15:39]Uh yeah, I would love to get booked in the UK. Ooh, there was like Of course, yes, I've done paid I've I've done spots with no pay for for workout time, yeah, absolutely. I also am trying to get a 5-minute a strong 5-minute on tape for auditions and submissions for comedy festivals, so I will be doing that and asking. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[01:16:06]People do it for just to work out their material, yes, 100%.

[01:16:10]Now, if you're like Sebastian Maniscalco, he gets still gets paid for those kinds of things. They give him money.

[01:16:16]They take me for granted so they realize it's so funny to watch back on time. I'm sure I don't think you can go on that.

[01:16:21]Messing with me crazy, huh? Okay.

[01:16:24]Um So, I I have to just See, I Just when I think it's feeling better.

[01:16:32]No, I know you weren't trying to be rude. I know.

[01:16:36]He was asking. I love the questions about the the stand-up and the logistics of it. I'm open to That's why I'm sharing the pieces of it here. So, um Yeah, I'm a I'm a Sebastian Maniscalco fan as well. Um this this looks so droopy on me, but I I want to keep the robot. So, I'm going to put um I'm going to keep icing and then heating my back. And I'm going to tell my daughter she's going to have to help me with putting the stuff away. Um Cody, I'm okay. I had a back spasm this morning. And so, I am not doing jumping jacks or high kicks today.

[01:17:14]Well, I guess I could stretch a little bit, but I'm trying to be very careful.

[01:17:21]What did I do before? Hi Ace, how are you? What did I do before what?

[01:17:27]Um I started in theater. That's what I started in. I was a dancer from a as a kid. I started taking dance classes.

[01:17:34]And then I I studied theater in college.

[01:17:39]Got a a BFA in acting.

[01:17:44]That's why I'm so dramatic in relationships.

[01:17:47]Hoho.

[01:17:49]John's going to love that one.

[01:17:51]>> [laughter] >> So, listen.

[01:17:55]I'm just kidding. Um uh and then I I also am a very good like I I I had I was a major in acting and I was a minor in communications, which is why I'm such a good communicator and why I love to talk.

[01:18:09]She's just joking.

[01:18:12]Just busting. Yeah, I majored in pole dancing, correct. Joey Diaz and Carly Cameron and Thompson girl are one of the tenth ones. Joey Diaz and I were going to gym tonight. That's awesome.

[01:18:21]Yeah, Joey Diaz performs a lot at the Dojo. I have not met him yet or worked with him, but I would love to.

[01:18:27]Uh And so, I studied theater in college and then I toured with children's theater musical theater. I took improv in New York City, which is what started the the I actually did improv in college. I was I was cast in a cabaret, an improv cabaret. Or actually we didn't call it a cabaret, they called it the improv show. And at first I was like, "Oh, of course I didn't get cast in the main stage or the black box, but I got cast in the cabaret." And the cabaret this that's one semester was an improv show. And I was like, "I don't want to be in the improv show." Like I I felt like I was I felt like they picked me because I was the like they couldn't put me in the other two shows. Like it was like not good enough for the other two shows. But what in reality in hindsight, that was the best thing that could have happened to me.

[01:19:16]Because I fell in love with improv.

[01:19:18]I learned improv. Number one, I learned it. And I actually Rob Reese was my director. He saw Divorce Race years later.

[01:19:25]I stayed in touch with him.

[01:19:27]Uh Oh, really?

[01:19:33]I twitch, too. Follow me on Twitch. I just started doing the Twitch stuff.

[01:19:37]Uh So Hold on. Let me just put that in the My boyfriend's going to help me this weekend, but do you know how to set up Streamlabs because I can't seem to My boyfriend's going to help me with this, but I just I can't get the camera for some reason.

[01:19:52]Um And Yeah, like this guy has a Like see how this guy has a background overlay on his? I'm trying to do that on Streamlabs, but it won't show me the camera.

[01:20:08]What's my Twitch? It's Michelle Trachtenberg. Hi.

[01:20:12]It's not like I I I've only been going live to test I've been going live every day to test it, but please come follow me because I I or I'll be doing gaming tweets tw- We'll just We're going to have fun there, too, just like we have fun here.

[01:20:27]Cody, you adopted a 5-week-old baby girl.

[01:20:37]>> Hold on. I'm putting the Twitch in my chat.

[01:20:45]I was not rich. I'm rich I'm rich in love and affection.

[01:20:52]So So AU Tiger, I I started out in theater and then I went into improv and then um years later I went into stand-up because I wanted to take an improv class again. I studied improv also at Second City's Brigade.

[01:21:06]So when I was in college and I was casted in this improv show, I thought I was like I was bummed because I wanted to be on the main stage of the black box. But being in that improv show and it's funny my friend Steve was in it too and he became a stand-up as well. That was probably the best thing I could have done because when when casted because I learned the rules of improv, it was my first about in in comedy and I felt really proud of myself.

[01:21:31]That was probably one of my favorite shows in it at Delphi.

[01:21:36]Uh and also I remember there was a moment on stage.

[01:21:40]Joe Manoso who's in Chicago Fire became famous. Um I went to college with him.

[01:21:45]He was a two years or three years ahead of me. At the time I think he had to take another year cuz he was behind in credits and he I'll never forget there was a scene I was doing and somebody had used we were pretending we were in The Wonder Years and all of the sudden I started to act like Winnie with the hair toss and everyone like went wild. I forgot the premise. I forgot everything but just remember it in that moment I made the choice when they said something with Wonder Years, I did the I did the Winnie slow motion and it got the crowd started going crazy. I remember Joe Manoso specifically cracking up laughing and in that moment I was like I started to feel the adrenaline that came from the audience laughing at your physical comedic choice. So, it was it was starting to get that that's that moment I was like, "Well, I like this."

[01:22:35]>> [sighs] >> Who's your my favorite female comedian?

[01:22:39]Um I have favorite comedians. I like try not to genderfy them anymore cuz it's just like Jessica Kirson, if I had to choose.

[01:22:47]I like Yamaneika. Um I like uh I like Nikki.

[01:22:53]But, I have to choose Jessica Kirson right now.

[01:22:57]Uh without a doubt. I will watch her stuff all day long and and repetitively.

[01:23:02]Uh I like Chris Distefano a lot, too.

[01:23:05]But, if I'm if I'm specifically choosing a female, I'm going to choose her.

[01:23:13]I just think she's a brilliant writer and a performer.

[01:23:22]So, hit that like button, guys. We can get to 200 likes. There's no jumping jacks when your girl has her back pulled. We can do something else. We can do like ton dues. How about that? We'll do ton dues. 100 ton dues.

[01:23:35]See.

[01:23:38]1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 plié. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 plié.

[01:23:54]1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 plié.

[01:24:03]First side.

[01:24:04]Hold on. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 side again. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 plié. 1 2 3 4 5 six, seven, eight, plie back, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, plie.

[01:24:37]How how many did I just do? I think I I did one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. So, 64. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Yes, those are ballet moves.

[01:24:52]Tondues.

[01:24:56]Yes, King Conden. Yes, she does. So, you're in Austin, huh?

[01:25:02]Has anyone ever told me I look like that person? No. I don't know who that person is. It's like, listen.

[01:25:11]It sucks getting older.

[01:25:14]Um Hey, somebody else followed me. Thank you.

[01:25:27]No, I have never been told that. Who is Abigail Spanberger? Is that like a hermph?

[01:25:33]I got some weird comments yesterday.

[01:25:36]Governor of Virginia?

[01:25:38]Come on.

[01:25:46]I mean, I can see it, but like I can't see it. She's much older than me.

[01:25:52]Actually, she's not. She's 46.

[01:25:56]Do I look that old?

[01:25:58]No, I'm not even kidding. She's 46.

[01:26:06]I'm sorry. This is I'm Okay, she's not ugly. I'm sorry. That's not nice.

[01:26:11]I just give up.

[01:26:22]>> And there was also this woman at the show last night. She's like she they keep saying I look like her.

[01:26:28]And like I've had people like you don't look like her. And when people say it, I'm like this is actually very very insulting.

[01:26:37]Oh my god, guys. I Do I look She does not look She looks older than 46.

[01:26:44]Is this what I look like? Probably.

[01:26:49]Let me see.

[01:26:50]Okay, she doesn't look too bad. She doesn't look She looks older though.

[01:26:54]Like she's dressing to You guys, come on. Really?

[01:27:16]I give up. I'm honestly this is why I come on the live streams and do jumping jacks. Like I'm just kidding.

[01:27:23]>> [gasps] >> I kind of do. I'm just I look like Michelle. All right, I'm over it.

[01:27:44]It's okay.

[01:27:45]I I am who I am. That's what it is. This is who I am.

[01:27:50]It's fine.

[01:27:53]Oh, tiger says her with her $300 makeup can't make up for you in your natural state. Thanks. Yeah, I don't I don't know about that. I I got to just stop like enjoy it.

[01:28:07]Yes, I know Michelle Obama is black.

[01:28:09]What does that have to anything to do with anything. But, okay.

[01:28:15]So, a little catch-up on the stream today. I pulled my back, but it's feeling better.

[01:28:23]Thank god.

[01:28:24]Um and we have the show tonight. I wasn't like super thrilled with my set last night. And I'm feeling like it wasn't and I felt prepared, but I was like, all right, at one point what should I be leaning into the crowd, stepping away, going back to my set, not making sure I get to my closer because I didn't want to veer off task too much.

[01:28:48]Uh thanks, Ace. Okay, at least you don't look like our Queen Camilla.

[01:28:53]Oh god.

[01:28:55]Okay, she's in her hundreds.

[01:28:58]Or no, Camilla is in her 80s, right?

[01:29:02]Camilla the mistress. That's a story where the sidekick makes it.

[01:29:08]Well, you have a beautiful heart. Thank you.

[01:29:11]Um Yeah, so I think that I got to figure out tonight what it is I'm going to do with certain clips and bits. And it's like, am I starting off with the divorce joke? Am I If I start off with a divorce Like for me, it's like when I come out, I just got to come up with a new opener. I'm so excited to be here.

[01:29:40]Like the headliner last night came right out and started insulting the hotel lobby that we were performing in, but not in a way that it was funny.

[01:29:48]And I think Sheryl Underwood said that when she was on with Shane Gillis on Shane Gillis's podcast about like the whole thing that everyone was upset about with Tony Hinchcliffe and the George Floyd joke, but she said the thing was if you're going to go out with a joke like that, it's got to abroariously laugh the whole room has to come up and laugh like that. She He if you're going to push the line that much, it's got to be so funny that nobody is like they're just laughing so hard kind of feeling like And what the and and like what this guy did last night with his when he was insulting the room, like that there was these lamps that look like mosquito uh catchers. He was doing it in a way that the owner was laughing. And at first I'm like, do you do it? Do you make fun of the room? But when you have the confidence and it is funny because it's true, then you don't lose anybody.

[01:30:36]So, I don't know. He's really good.

[01:30:38]People are too sensitive and soft.

[01:30:48]So, I I got to I also think that the practice of improving certain lines and with around my set is important. So, as much as my like this week I didn't have as many reps because all the the mics would the mic was canceled on Tuesday at Dojo. Monday was Memorial Day.

[01:31:12]And Sunday I didn't go to the workout room. So, I got to I don't know. I don't know if that's it or it's just the crap like I just See what happens tonight. We're going to go for it tonight. We're just going to have fun. We're walking. We're able to move right now and that's the goal is to have fun. Give it up for yourselves.

[01:31:32]Now, the bullet spot I talk about how the bullet spot's the hardest spot. I want to do really well when I'm in the bullet spot. It is a comfort if you're not in the bullet spot or at least the crowd's warmed up. But then if you do bad, then what the [ __ ] is wrong with you?

[01:31:48]People are too sen- oh, um I know I need to stop thinking about what spot I'm in and just boom, go in. React to the crowd, say hello, talk to them, feel out the energy, take in that moment of feeling out the energy, right? What shirt are you going to wear today? I don't know.

[01:32:08]I might put the Nirvana shirt on.

[01:32:17]I also don't know Excuse me, I don't know what shirt I'm wearing tonight, but I'll figure it out.

[01:32:38]I know, I was like super scared yes this morning when I felt that pain.

[01:32:44]White t-shirts are my favorite.

[01:32:47]Wine mom comic.

[01:32:49]No.

[01:32:51]No, it's not. I mean, maybe I should just open the joke what with open my set with like I I stream on YouTube.

[01:32:57]And um the other day get some weird comments. And the other day this guy says to me on the there was this see I'm already [ __ ] up the joke.

[01:33:11]Any goth jokes? No.

[01:33:14]I think I should just have some fun tonight and try out a few things a few things.

[01:33:18]But then my friend Oscar's like, "Do your I'm going to text Oscar now like, "What if your entire set that you that normally is good doesn't feel right?"

[01:33:27]>> [snorts] >> Com- uh writing question.

[01:34:17]>> I'm good. So, thank you for subscribing.

[01:34:22]So, the PTA joke, I don't think I want to shift it too much. I mean, I think if I say, you know, I can't keep up with the school moms.

[01:34:34]I'm on a They're on juice cleanses.

[01:34:38]I'm on a vodka cleanse, you know? They put Botox No, I ain't on Botox. They have like summer homes.

[01:34:48]I rent. I mean, that's not even funny, but I'm just saying like I can't keep up with that. They're always doing something to show off, you know? Like They got Stanley cups. I got a solo cup.

[01:35:01]They have BMWs. I have a Bronco that's behind on payments.

[01:35:06]Good morning. Hi.

[01:35:10]They're on Botox cleanses. Yeah, but I do the Botox thing in in my bar tending bit.

[01:35:17]So, I got to figure that one out. It's like They're on keto on a I'm not on ketamine.

[01:35:24]I just look like a horse.

[01:35:27]Oh.

[01:35:29]But, that's funny.

[01:35:48]No, most people would think I'm on it because because I'm so energetic. You just had a cup of biscotti. Good job. Ma me myself and I.

[01:36:00]Vodka cleanse. I'll try that. Maybe I'm on a whiskey cleanse for years. I don't think it's working.

[01:36:09]So um should I put the pad now? I'll do this later.

[01:36:17]Sorry.

[01:36:21]>> [clears throat] >> Don't forget to hit that like button, guys.

[01:36:24]Um yeah, I don't know. I think dealing with the uh let's see what did they say?

[01:36:31]We're sending it in a few minutes.

[01:36:32]Wonderful. Thank you so much.

[01:36:34]Wonderful. Thank you so much.

[01:36:38]They should be sending it in a few minutes.

[01:36:59]All right, I'm going to ask the stream the poll.

[01:37:04]Do I go in with the same set or change?

[01:37:19]Here we go.

[01:37:22]Vote what you think. So, do I go in with a whole new set, which I'm not going to do. This I don't have time to fit I I won't want to go with a whole new set, but I do think I'm going to just go back write everything that worked.

[01:37:37]What time is it? 10:34. So, I have a meet I have a phone call 11:30.

[01:37:41]I got to call my accountant again at 12:00. What time Yeah, let me call my accountant at 12:00. This is another problem. Who's This is supposed to get back to me and it did not.

[01:37:54]You're going to just like a cartoon character.

[01:37:57]Good for you.

[01:38:00]Thank you for following me on Twitch. I appreciate you. If you do follow on Twitch, does anybody know how to get the this camera working?

[01:38:08]Cuz I I was going to do both at the same time. What's that on the same shirt?

[01:38:14]I'm going to do a get ready with me on Twitch later. So, maybe I'll do it on both if I can figure it out. But, I'm going to you guys get the post show stuff. So, don't worry. You guys are always my number one, but I'm just trying to build the brand on all platforms. And Instagram and and [clears throat] Tik Tok have been taking a backseat.

[01:38:33]But, I'm going to I'm going to figure it all out and go on to get on a content schedule. So, you guys have so much content, you don't know what to watch first.

[01:38:43]My her night out stuff from last year, I am going to throw that up on Instagram.

[01:38:47]I'm just going to start throwing [ __ ] up like that.

[01:38:53]Are you blue-eyed and blonde hair? I'm green-eyed and fake blonde hair.

[01:38:58]So, anybody in here, do you know how to do this on Streamlabs?

[01:39:05]Everyone's saying I should improv at the top.

[01:39:10]Go in with what? Recognition of what everybody looks like?

[01:39:14]Everybody looks very happy to be here.

[01:39:17]Um Look like it came off a like it came off a hard week.

[01:39:25]Still want to [ __ ] suck.

[01:39:32]Thank you, Marley.

[01:39:37]Now, someone says completely new set.

[01:39:40]I can't do a completely new set. All right, look.

[01:39:43]This is like where's the camera?

[01:39:47]I'm so confused.

[01:39:49]I'm being impatient.

[01:39:54]Uh wing and a prayer Uh halfway there.

[01:40:04]Oh, good morning.

[01:40:06]I wet my nose.

[01:40:09]Get help.

[01:40:17]How do I do a tutorial?

[01:40:20]All right, I'm just going to stop. This is going to take it too much. That's what caused my back spasm. I was on it for too long and then I was stretched and I [ __ ] hurt myself.

[01:40:35]So, everybody is saying improv it's top or completely new set.

[01:40:52]I would love to get to do one.

[01:41:06]That during the weekend when they do laundry, he listens to the game and he doesn't like put his ear buds in and I can hear it. It's very [ __ ] annoying.

[01:41:15]I mean All right, I'm going to shut up complaining.

[01:41:25]But like you can obviously hear everything. All right.

[01:41:29]Like if they're going to do I'm really telling you right now. If they do laundry, you'll hear it.

[01:41:35]Like it's [snorts] very loud.

[01:41:38]Here, see?

[01:41:39]All right, so I put my ice pack back on.

[01:41:43]So Aaron only thinks that you have a completely new set.

[01:41:47]Okay.

[01:41:49]That's going to be Here, like they're doing laundry.

[01:41:56]He just doesn't realize like, why are you Do you ever listen to your music?

[01:42:02]Like he has he doesn't have earbuds in.

[01:42:04]What are you doing?

[01:42:11]Like look, you can hear it.

[01:42:14]If you have the game on or something, don't you listen to your earbuds? Do Why are you Why are you listening to it where I can hear it?

[01:42:22]I'm going to say something.

[01:42:38]Yeah, like we we have paper thin walls downstairs, and like when they do laundry, they listen he listens to like like a serious or something, but listens to it to the point where it's like he's just listen like doesn't have earbuds in.

[01:42:54]Why are you doing that?

[01:42:59]Sorry, kind of irks me.

[01:43:02]I don't know, it's kind of like but like if you go outside, are people listening to music on their phone? It's like, I don't know. You're not.

[01:43:14]He's Who is it?

[01:43:21]Like but like why not? Yeah, so like when you listen to your music, do you put your earbuds in or do you like just listen to it out like that?

[01:43:30]Or usually you have like if you have a speaker, that's one thing, but this is someone who's going to go do laundry and listening to podcast and everything. Just out there as opposed to in the ears.

[01:43:43]So, you're not distracting other people from what they're doing.

[01:43:50]Granted I'm doing the laundry, but it's just like Good afternoon.

[01:43:56]I'm not doing a whole new set, so completely new set, everyone's saying.

[01:44:03]Okay, well, I guess I have to figure that out then tonight.

[01:44:10]That's going to be a little difficult, but I can I can figure something out. I got I can't do a completely new set.

[01:44:20]But I can play around with some things. I don't I have I do like the mom the mom joke or how my mom's interaction is anxiety. Although, I'm a little hesitant to do that tonight because you know, my mom had a scare last week and she's a little neurotic and I just don't want to put that energy out there making fun of my mom at the moment. But I'm definitely turning into my mom if not already am my mom.

[01:44:52]Yeah, there's you can't I can't do a whole new set first paid spot. It's It's not You can't do that. I got to I got to work with what I have and tweak it.

[01:45:01]Um so, I definitely want to maybe go in with an like an opener I know I can get the crowd pumped. I'm not hosting though, so I'm just I got a spot. It could also be just a 5-minute.

[01:45:17]Basically, what last night reminded me of is you still have a long way to go, lady.

[01:45:21]You still have a long way to go to tweak your material and get it to to you want it to be.

[01:45:26]And that's okay.

[01:45:30]Like We were talking about how divorce is depressing and how I was always adamant that like no, my brand is going to be positive even though it's called Divorce Diaries cuz I liked the I liked the name and I was living at home and I was working seven jobs, literally seven jobs. There was within the seven jobs, there was a multiple teaching jobs there, performing, stand bartending.

[01:45:57]Um I worked at one, two, three, four, five different schools.

[01:46:05]Yeah, I know crowd work is the only way to do all new sets, but I don't want to do a whole new set and just be crowd work cuz I'm not there yet.

[01:46:13]I can try.

[01:46:17]Keep working at it, read the reactions from audience and work from there. Yeah.

[01:46:22]Read the reactions from the audience.

[01:46:24]Yes, that is always a good thing to take a pause and read the reactions.

[01:46:29]So, um Yeah, I just texted uh Thank hi DR2PA, what's going on?

[01:46:47]Let's go guys, we can get to 200 likes before the end of the live stream. I know we can.

[01:46:54]I just That's a pet peeve of mine when they do laundry.

[01:46:58]Oh, thank you. I don't know chess, but I know a queen when I see one. Thank you, No Way Brett. Wow, that's so sweet of you.

[01:47:05]I do a mini high kick. Wee, ouch.

[01:47:11]Aw, this is so sweet.

[01:47:14]Hey, I'm happy to have done it on Oh my god, that was really sweet of her.

[01:47:18]Uh Thank you so so for coming on and for that show. Without you, it would have never gotten it.

[01:47:23]All these all you You got some I'm so happy.

[01:47:45]You were all worked out and of course I'm I'm I know her night out didn't manifesting more more stuff. I think Um so Karen uh was the comedian I brought on to the show and then she took over as like um kind of like a producer, booker and she's she's good at what she's doing. She's really good at knowing where everyone lies. She was a producer for MSN NBC. Yes, absolutely.

[01:49:09]Yes, I pulled my back out.

[01:49:19]>> [laughter] >> So, What is it? Is a comedy club good for finding chicks? I guess for some people.

[01:49:30]So, Karen, I'm I've had on my live stream, Karen Grance, she's a comedian.

[01:49:35]She kind of when I when I helped the guy Jeremy like book the first show, I went which I bombed by the way as a headliner, she then took over as like a producer. I don't know if you call it I guess like a booker producer of that lineup. And she's been she's been doing great. And I asked her for a spot and then she gave me one and she's like, "Thank you." Because she's like, "I guess the connection led her to the role she's in there now." And I'm glad because uh she's a good producer. She's a good producer.

[01:50:05]>> [snorts] >> Yeah. So, I'm just happy because cuz her and I I I wanted to >> [cough] >> connect with her this year and I it worked So, it all worked out.

[01:50:16]Uh is So, we're Oh, that's Okay. So, I'm just worried that I don't want my back to start tingling. That's the other thing I'm afraid about is when I hurt myself a couple of years ago and then my neck started tingling, that was scary.

[01:50:40]I just want to Okay.

[01:50:44]I'm going to heat and ice my back again and hopefully I'll feel a little better.

[01:50:52]I might go get a bagel, too.

[01:50:56]I guess Friday that they stay home from like they work from home upstairs and like which is great. Good for them, but like I just don't know why you would like do you listen to your podcast on your phone without earbuds?

[01:51:18]Like there's been times where I'm like, you've got to turn that off.

[01:51:22]In my head I'm like, I want to say something but like we can hear it.

[01:51:27]And I don't.

[01:51:28]Because there's no need to do that, Michelle.

[01:51:31]There's no need to do that, Michelle.

[01:51:38]Okay. So, nobody knows how to uh to work StreamYard.

[01:51:46]So, nobody knows how to work StreamYard.

[01:51:49]That's fine.

[01:51:51]I'm going to learn I'm going to learn from my boyfriend later.

[01:51:56]You You You do? You listen to your podcast with like no earbuds?

[01:52:02]But it's like there's other people in the house and that's not only that, you can do that. But like I can hear every [ __ ] thing.

[01:52:13]It's just like if I was downstairs right now and we walk around, it's super loud.

[01:52:18]Like they can hear me right now. Yeah.

[01:52:22]It's not going to annoy me.

[01:52:26]Okay.

[01:52:30]We have 20 more 21 more likes to 200. We can do it.

[01:52:35]We can do it. We We We We can do it. Um Yeah, okay. So, catching up. I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. I'm going to have to really sit and Here goes my stomach.

[01:52:48]play around with the set I want to do because I don't want to [ __ ] up.

[01:52:54]Um But maybe I just take a moment too and say like, "Hey, everybody."

[01:53:02]Yeah. I think I might I was like, I don't sit downstairs to do laundry.

[01:53:10]I put my laundry in and then I come back upstairs.

[01:53:15]Like, I don't know what you're doing.

[01:53:16]It's not a laundry mat.

[01:53:21]I'm not from Texas, I'm from New Jersey.

[01:53:34]Dr. Gonzo, um I got Yeah, I it went, you know, I didn't get picked, but I got to I signed up for Kill Tony, I signed up for the Mothership mic.

[01:53:45]And that was it.

[01:53:47]And I did not get picked, but I I had a great time.

[01:53:51]Maybe they think their earbuds are in.

[01:53:53]They don't.

[01:53:54]They don't. They don't. It's happened so many times where I've gotten this close to being like, "Can you lower that?"

[01:54:01]Cuz it's not even like it's loud bad.

[01:54:03]No, it's like you're playing your phone right underneath right by my bedroom.

[01:54:11]Where it's like, I had I had an audition I had to like, "You have to turn that off. I can't record with you watching me Yankee me."

[01:54:18]And also, your apartment's upstairs.

[01:54:20]Like, throw the laundry in and go back upstairs to watch it.

[01:54:26]I just got to still annoyed about the whole parking spot thing.

[01:54:33]I'm sorry. I'll let it go.

[01:54:36]I feel like my boyfriend gets mad at me when he listens to these live streams where I'm like being petty about something.

[01:54:44]No, I'm kidding. I'm not being petty, but like something's bothering me and I talk about it on here.

[01:54:50]I don't know.

[01:54:51]Maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong.

[01:54:56]I just I get like right underneath It's just that [snorts] like you have the hammock in the backyard that's supposedly only my backyard just like the parking spots are only ours. So, it's very difficult to park on my street. And but at the same time, that's the deal. But they put their hammock back there. I said it was okay.

[01:55:19]And now my girlfriend will find out. If I can't like park here or just drop some stuff off, then I'm pulling that hammock out. But I don't want to say that.

[01:55:27]So, I'm just waiting.

[01:55:29]And then I think you know like every little thing is annoying me a little bit.

[01:55:33]And I should just shut up because I'm very I am very blessed where I live. So.

[01:55:39]Shut up, Michelle.

[01:55:42]No, they're not. They're like the opposite. They're younger than me.

[01:55:45]Like 10 years younger than me.

[01:55:48]So, Jay Man says those construction workers.

[01:55:52]What about those construction workers?

[01:55:55]All right. So, anyway, let's be grateful I can walk and shut up, Michelle.

[01:56:07]Cuz cuz when you have back pain like that and you think, "Oh, I'm not going to be able to move."

[01:56:12]Life things take a little difference. It takes a It's just It's different.

[01:56:19]All right. So, for tonight, I'm doing a set. I'm going to just do my set and maybe improv a little bit more.

[01:56:28]I I don't want Like the thing is, I don't want to veer too far off what I was doing.

[01:56:33]But then I fear Is she answering? No, she didn't answer.

[01:56:40]I'll just show up 30 minutes earlier.

[01:56:43]We'll see what happens.

[01:56:52]No.

[01:56:58]Uh I uh what?

[01:57:49]This is annoying when you get those emails you're like, "What is this email about?"

[01:57:53]What was Dr. Bronzo? What did he do?

[01:57:56]Oh, yeah.

[01:58:00]Um Well, I also wanted to just say that I want the set to go really well tonight. I want it to be better than last night, but I just can't control my I can't control anything what I say or do. So, I'm going to take breaths. I'm going to listen to my set again from last night, write what worked, write what didn't work, tweak to see what could have worked, and and then play with the audience tonight. If it's a group of 20-year-olds, with the PTA bit, I got to I got to fix it because I have done the PTA jokes with 20-year-olds, and it's worked, but I don't know. I don't I don't I I you know These These women are your moms. All right.

[01:58:53]Or I do my with 13-year-old joke that I can say, but I don't know. I got to figure that one out because I don't want to bomb.

[01:59:04]I think that's where I'm I'm at. Like that's a big That's the big thing is like if I have my I have my tight set ready to go.

[01:59:12]And my tight set may not appeal to the masses. So, how do I make the tight set appeal to the masses? That's what I think I have to fix.

[01:59:21]Like I do I mean here, like this is this was the St. Mark's is a great example of why it worked and it was all younger crowds.

[01:59:32]But they set me up good. This guy said something about the horny divorcee before my set. Where is it? I need to find it.

[01:59:41]It was it was like the perfect setup and it worked.

[01:59:47]Let's see. Can you guys hear this if I put it You like the joke about the men's wrestling being gay?

[02:00:04]TJ says, "I'll always be a fan of your joke about men's wrestling being gay."

[02:00:09]I think my boyfriend liked that one, too.

[02:00:15]Are you a wrestling fan?

[02:00:50]>> Sorry.

[02:00:51]They were like exceptionally loud.

[02:00:53]Watch.

[02:01:10]>> [laughter] >> There was an intro that led to that.

[02:01:15]Now, look at this guy coming in and then I Look, so like I respond to that.

[02:01:21]>> [laughter] [laughter] [screaming] >> Like this girl is having fun. You know, she was in her early 20s. Like it's I just felt myself this night. This was a great feeling when I came off stage.

[02:02:05]My boyfriend was there that night, too.

[02:02:06]I was felt really proud for him to see that moment.

[02:02:28]You look at your family, your parents. You're like, "Man, I got to move out, man.

[02:02:34]I'm 40."

[02:02:38]You're You're married. You look at your spouse. You're like, "Damn it.

[02:02:42]I can't sleep with anyone because of you."

[02:02:46]>> [laughter] >> You look at your kids and you say, "Oh, God, I wish you'd leave."

[02:02:54][ __ ] 40.

[02:02:56]Now, but um I'm a happy person. I'm really happy. Like I I wasn't always this happy though. A long time ago I was very miserable. I was very depressed. I couldn't get out of bed. I was married.

[02:03:07]>> [laughter] >> Again, this is a crowd that was younger.

[02:03:11]So, I was like, "All right." Um Oh.

[02:03:16]My watch is going off again.

[02:03:19]I don't never I don't I don't know how to turn that alarm off. It's very annoying, too.

[02:03:27]Uh so, I'm going to have to figure out what exactly I'm doing with the set tonight.

[02:03:32]But, um I'm going to say 11:00. I have a meeting at 11:30.

[02:03:38]The good news is that I can move my body.

[02:03:41]Right now, it's not heavily intense pain that I'm in in. I feel much better than I did before, thank God. I was a little scared. I was like freaking out. I'm like, "What if I can't breathe? What if I can't sleep?"

[02:03:56]It does hurt when I breathe, but it's okay. It feels like I pulled a strained something when I was doing Let me just see something.

[02:04:04]Yeah, see, like if I bend down, I can feel it still, but it's all right.

[02:04:11]It's not cold. It's fine.

[02:04:14]So, here we go.

[02:04:17]Uh I realized this is not really a good display of study.

[02:05:09]>> Um it didn't happen randomly. I was I was like stretching. I was sitting trying to figure out the the Streamlab camera, why I couldn't see my myself on the street on Streamlabs.

[02:05:21]Even my camera's working on it, but all of a sudden I I had to get up to take my daughter to school and I stretched like a You know when you stretch in the morning? Yeah, like that.

[02:05:31]It I pulled something cuz all of a sudden I couldn't move.

[02:05:35]It was like a muscle spasm and I couldn't breathe.

[02:05:39]So I knew it was like a spasm cuz I was like, "Oh my god, I can't breathe right now." It was it was freaking me out. So Yeah, that's actually really intense. I can't even imagine. So but here I am. I'm fine. I'm feeling better.

[02:05:53]I had put heat on it. I put ice on it when I got back from taking my daughter to school. I was really nervous cuz when I was like driving, it was causing me pain, too. I do I will say I feel I'm feeling a lot better than I did before.

[02:06:04]So let's just pray that it goes away and to be careful.

[02:06:09]I do not vape. That's disgusting. I'm sorry. I don't smoke or vape or anything like that.

[02:06:14]Guys, thank you so much for tuning in today and let's fingers crossed tonight goes well, BetterSet, and I