raumatic birth story #BirthStory #TraumaticBirth #PostpartumJourney #CSectionRecovery #birthtrauma

Added: 2026-05-07

[00:00:00]I wasn't okay. Eventually, they had me on a morphine drip and it kicked in and I found some relief, but it had been over an hour of the most excruciating, terrible pain I'd ever felt in my life.

[00:00:12]Um, at that point, I was so overloaded with pain medicine and drugs that I was delirious and I didn't know what was going on. This was probably about 11:30, 12:00 in the morning. Um, I don't remember anything after that until there's this slight blip of a memory um, that afternoon where I remember them helping me hold the baby. I hadn't held my baby at this point. Um, and the baby was born about 10:00 a.m. about 5:00.

[00:00:42]They helped me hold him, but again, I was so drugged I couldn't hold him by myself. Um, and it wasn't until the next day that I was well enough and with it enough to be able to hold him. I continued on the magnesium feeling really sick. Um, stayed in the hospital for 4 days and then was able to go home.

[00:01:00]My son was born 5 pounds, but he was totally fine. My blood pressure eventually after a few weeks got back to normal again and things were okay. Um, but looking back, every time I told my birth story, I would get pale and my hands would physically shake and I would sweat and I didn't really think a whole lot of it, but I was having a trauma response. Um, and it didn't really kick in until a couple years later, my sister had her first baby and she went into labor and I picked my mom up and I drove her to labor and delivery. This was the first time I was back at the hospital in that area. And as I dropped my mom off, I had a full-blown panic attack. I had to pull my car over. I couldn't breathe.

[00:01:39]I was hysterical. And that's when I realized that that was more traumatic for me than it should have been. And I think for so many reasons, because of the pain, because everything that I had hoped for and planned for was the complete opposite and flipped around. I felt out of control, it was awful. And it was not the doctor's fault. They did a great job. It just went horribly wrong. In hindsight, few things I've learned. Sometimes when you're on magnesium, it can counteract the effects of the epidural. So, be aware of that.

[00:02:10]And just know how am I reacting to the epidural if I'm on mag. Um, I know that if that ever happens again, that will be really important to me. Um, I should have said something to my nurses that I was having to push the epidural button all the time. I didn't know that that wasn't normal. Um, I thought I had never had a baby before. So, in hindsight, that was important, too. And I think the biggest lesson I learned from that was I had a birth plan that I was determined to stick to and what I wanted to do. And when it was completely flipped upside down, it it threw me for a loop. Going into my second baby's delivery, I said, "I don't care what happens. Get us out smoothly and get the baby out smoothly.

[00:02:49]Get me out of here healthy and smoothly." And it was just such a more pleasant experience. So, I'm not saying don't have a birth plan, but know in your heart that things can change, and that's okay. So, as I head into C-section number three, um things are hopefully going to go better. I know what to expect. I know what to be prepared for and what to watch for. And here's to hoping things go so much better um than the first time. So anyway, that's my traumatic birth story.

[00:03:18]So, as I head into C-section number three, um things are hopefully going to go better. I know what to expect. I know what to be prepared for and what to watch for. And here's to hoping things go so much better um than the first time. So anyway, that's my traumatic birth story.