Seattle Stories - Josh, person experiencing homelessness

本站添加: 2026-06-03

[00:00:03]Well, I was born in Eugene, Oregon.

[00:00:07]Um moved to uh Eureka, California when I was two with my mom. Just with my mom.

[00:00:15]Um she didn't marry my dad.

[00:00:18]They They split. Didn't get Didn't get along.

[00:00:21]Um lived in Eureka for 19 years.

[00:00:27]Did what Did what any regular guy would do.

[00:00:32]Baseball, skateboard.

[00:00:33]>> Oh, nice.

[00:00:34]>> Skateboarding took over.

[00:00:35]>> Yeah, I skated. I I grew up skating as well.

[00:00:37]>> Yeah, it's great.

[00:00:38]>> Yeah, totally.

[00:00:39]>> It's a There's no other real like camaraderie like skateboard.

[00:00:45]>> Man, I did uh I haven't thought about that in a while, but I just remember >> Yeah, it's it's a it's like a whole fraternity It's like a fraternal fraternity.

[00:00:53]>> Yeah, you get in your group of your car with your friends and go to skate spots and >> Yeah, or just skate [snorts] to a spot.

[00:01:00]>> Yeah.

[00:01:00]>> You know? Like Eureka's like that. It's a It's a total um >> [clears throat] >> skater-friendly town.

[00:01:07]>> All right on.

[00:01:07]>> Yeah, it's a >> Do you have any siblings growing up?

[00:01:10]Just you?

[00:01:11]>> I have I have a half-brother.

[00:01:13]Brother.

[00:01:14]Yeah, my mom married my ex ex-stepdad when I was uh about 5 and 1/2.

[00:01:21]>> What was home life like growing up?

[00:01:25]>> It was all right.

[00:01:26]Um can't complain too much.

[00:01:30]I had what I needed.

[00:01:32]Um when as my brother got older got a little I got more distant from my stepdad.

[00:01:40]>> Was he older or younger?

[00:01:42]>> Six years younger.

[00:01:43]>> Okay.

[00:01:44]>> Yeah, I'm almost six years younger.

[00:01:46]Um when when he came in when he came into the scene and when he got older I became less important to him.

[00:01:52]But I didn't I was I wasn't ever too into him anyway.

[00:01:55]Really, I was really into my dad.

[00:01:57]Cuz my his his mom, my grandma, made sure that I was in his life and her life, you know, big time.

[00:02:07]But you know, I I'd fly on I'd fly on jet planes, you know, when I was like three or four, four.

[00:02:13]>> Yeah.

[00:02:13]>> You know?

[00:02:14]Cuz they live in LA.

[00:02:16]>> Okay.

[00:02:18]>> Um >> [clears throat] >> step dad got abusive.

[00:02:22]>> Mhm.

[00:02:23]>> You know, just uh but with him he But uh that that just made me stronger.

[00:02:32]Um I can I can take a punch.

[00:02:37]That that don't even phase me.

[00:02:39]You know?

[00:02:40]>> No, I don't know, man. Like that it sounds [ __ ] brutal.

[00:02:45]I mean >> It is.

[00:02:46]>> I >> It is.

[00:02:47]>> You should not have to learn how to take a punch when you're a kid, ever.

[00:02:52]>> I guess it's true, but then at the same time I'm not a fighter and I'm not scared.

[00:02:58]You know?

[00:03:00]Because other people who are scared fight.

[00:03:04]>> But it became like normalized where you just >> Yeah.

[00:03:07]>> could take it. You just >> Well, when I was a kid I couldn't take it. I cried and hurt my hurt my feelings.

[00:03:13]You know?

[00:03:14]But it would you know I don't know I don't know I don't know what it did to me then but I was I was very social.

[00:03:26]Always social.

[00:03:28]You know? Not not the number one, but number two or three, always.

[00:03:33]One sometimes.

[00:03:35]You know?

[00:03:36]>> Tell me more about that. What do you mean?

[00:03:37]>> Well, in vocalization and um people followed me a bit.

[00:03:44]You know?

[00:03:45]Um I I was I was kind of quiet.

[00:03:48]But I spoke up, also.

[00:03:50]You know?

[00:03:51]But my uh his [clears throat] dad my step grandfather, when he wanted to get get my brother into uh when he wanted to see his son, when his son to see his his dad, um he really took to me.

[00:04:11]>> The grandfather.

[00:04:11]>> Yeah.

[00:04:12]>> For whatever reason?

[00:04:15]>> He just he just liked me.

[00:04:18]Um and then also see, he married my grandmother.

[00:04:24]It's kind of kind of different. Um my grandfather killed himself.

[00:04:28]>> Wow.

[00:04:30]So, you're so just so I understand, your biological grandmother >> Yeah, married my >> step >> my step step grandfather.

[00:04:37]Um they hit it off when when when he went when we took my brother to meet him.

[00:04:45]Uh and that that's how that went.

[00:04:50]And I started coming down every every summer.

[00:04:54]And uh that was an norm for you many years.

[00:04:56]>> To >> You're in Sacramento.

[00:04:58]>> Sacramento.

[00:04:59]>> Yeah.

[00:04:59]>> Central, yeah.

[00:05:00]>> And uh that for my my life growing up, I equated any problems I had, realized it as distance from my mom, although my mom and I had a great relationship.

[00:05:15]However, um >> Real quick, gosh, pull Can you pull that the mic's hitting your chin and it's going to make a bunch of noise.

[00:05:24]>> Yep.

[00:05:24]>> It's on your It's like on [clears throat] your top collar. Yeah, yeah, just pull it down a little bit or something. There you go.

[00:05:32]Perfect. Thank you.

[00:05:35]>> Um >> Sorry [clears throat] about that.

[00:05:37]>> That's cool.

[00:05:39]>> You had a good relationship with your mom.

[00:05:42]>> Yeah, still do.

[00:05:44]Just uh I I seen her in 10 years.

[00:05:47]>> Oh, wow.

[00:05:48]>> But I'm I'm used to that.

[00:05:51]Um >> She's in Eureka now?

[00:05:53]>> Yeah.

[00:05:54]>> And then but Sacramento, you're going back and forth.

[00:05:56]>> Yeah, I was. Um Because my grandfather killed himself, I realized that any uh issue any any of the things I didn't get from from my mom were because of that.

[00:06:12]You know, she found him.

[00:06:15]I I saw the first attempt or walked into a kitchen where he was to try to kill himself.

[00:06:22]Blood everywhere.

[00:06:24]It was just weird.

[00:06:25]>> How old were you?

[00:06:27]>> Not even five.

[00:06:30]I I I remember it I remember like now.

[00:06:33]>> Yeah, you know, something I taught I have three little girls >> He was he was he was a sorry. He he was a he was a police sergeant.

[00:06:40]>> A police sergeant?

[00:06:41]>> Eureka police force for 25 years.

[00:06:43]>> Wow.

[00:06:44]>> So, my mom grew with that.

[00:06:46]>> Wow.

[00:06:47]>> With with with a brother that was like a twin brother. He wasn't a twin.

[00:06:50]She was I think she was older.

[00:06:52]But maybe.

[00:06:53]Um [snorts] And I remember her telling me she treated him like the daughter and him like her like the son.

[00:07:02]Hm.

[00:07:03]So, she took to he took to her.

[00:07:08]And yeah.

[00:07:11]>> Yeah, you you can't unsee things.

[00:07:15]>> Yeah, you can't.

[00:07:16]>> You cannot unsee things. I tell my girls that.

[00:07:19]Especially when they're watching like YouTube and all this whatever. I was like, "Listen, you cannot unsee something. Once you see it, you you know, you're 5 years old. I don't know how you all you're all How old are you you're all are now?"

[00:07:30]>> I'm 52.

[00:07:31]>> But it's like you still probably could >> Yeah, it'll always be the same brightness.

[00:07:35]>> Yep.

[00:07:36]Trauma.

[00:07:37]>> Yeah, it's it's like it's like this one picture.

[00:07:40]>> Yeah.

[00:07:40]Sorry. I'm sorry you saw that and were in that position to I mean, no 5-year-old shouldn't ever ever ever see that.

[00:07:48]>> Well, I disagree.

[00:07:50]>> Tell me more.

[00:07:51]>> I disagree with that because um it may be hard for some people to visualize something like that.

[00:07:59]But we all see it in movies and listen and so and and in our own ways and uh intercept and transfer our feelings and thoughts via what we see.

[00:08:17]What we see, we feel.

[00:08:20]>> That's true.

[00:08:22]Real life and movies are two different things.

[00:08:26]>> They are but they're not.

[00:08:29]Because the one who writes it is lives.

[00:08:34]The one who directs it lives.

[00:08:38]It's a depiction.

[00:08:40]>> Yeah.

[00:08:41]>> I understand what you're saying.

[00:08:43]But there's not It's a fine line between what you said.

[00:08:46]And that's true.

[00:08:48]You're right.

[00:08:51]>> I My response is, "So are you."

[00:08:55]I hear you, man.

[00:08:56]>> Yeah.

[00:08:57]So it's like what affects what affects those from the screen seems to usually affect more from from real life.

[00:09:08]Cuz they don't really see that stuff.

[00:09:10]>> Yeah.

[00:09:10]>> See what I'm saying?

[00:09:11]>> Yeah.

[00:09:11]>> So it's like which is the which is the stronger?

[00:09:17]>> Yeah.

[00:09:17]>> And so that's that's real life.

[00:09:19]>> Yeah.

[00:09:21]>> You know, which one weighs more?

[00:09:23]>> Yeah. It's not black and white. We're talking about some gray.

[00:09:26]>> Yeah.

[00:09:27]>> In reality and perception and all that stuff. Yeah.

[00:09:31]>> how that's how I am. That's how I see things. Oh, I see things.

[00:09:34]>> And yeah, in the gray. I think I I think that's a an amazing attribute [snorts] and more people should think in the gray more than black and white.

[00:09:45]>> Yeah.

[00:09:45]>> There is so much gray in life.

[00:09:47]>> Yeah, that's why >> Way more.

[00:09:50]>> That's why I know a lot of people um and have a few friends.

[00:09:55]>> Mhm.

[00:09:57]I like that.

[00:09:59]Um So, you go to high school in Eureka? Go >> going to say?

[00:10:05]>> I interrupted you. Remember something about daughters or something?

[00:10:08]>> Oh, I was just about the unseen thing.

[00:10:10]Like I tell them like you can unseen things.

[00:10:12]>> Mhm. Um >> So, you go to high school in Eureka?

[00:10:17]>> Mhm.

[00:10:18]>> And what happens? You're skating during high school?

[00:10:22]>> For the first for the first year and a half.

[00:10:25]>> So, you're 52, so let me think what's happening. Jason Lee and Mark Gonzales are big.

[00:10:31]>> Peralta Peralta >> Peralta >> H Street hasn't started yet.

[00:10:35]H Street was H Street. Pretty much changed it.

[00:10:37]>> Matt Hensley Yeah, Matt Hensley H Street.

[00:10:40]Yeah, Ray Barbee.

[00:10:41]>> Those guys are all >> all the the legends from Santa Monica.

[00:10:44]>> The double tail board kind of came into effect as I as I was winding out as I was getting as getting into girls and and and and drinking and smoking weed.

[00:10:52]From Humble County.

[00:10:54]Yeah.

[00:10:55]And it's a big thing when you're when you're social you smoke really good weed.

[00:10:58]>> Yeah, well at that time >> [snorts] >> you know, weed's illegal.

[00:11:01]>> Yeah.

[00:11:02]>> But Humble County is like producing a >> It's different.

[00:11:05]>> It's Yeah, a lot of >> in Yeah.

[00:11:08]I had a few problems because of that. I got kicked out of high school 2 weeks before graduation for getting caught with Never getting caught. I got caught, but um I I fought it.

[00:11:21]And the vice principal vice principal took it to heart and made an example out of me. Expelled me from Eureka City Schools for 1 year.

[00:11:29]And and didn't allow me to graduate.

[00:11:33]So, that was a big one.

[00:11:35]>> Yeah.

[00:11:35]>> It was a real big one.

[00:11:36]>> a big one.

[00:11:37]>> All right, change the >> It changed the course of everything.

[00:11:39]>> Yeah. What what what did you do? How did it change the course?

[00:11:42]>> Well, I stayed I stayed around and got I got my diploma.

[00:11:48]>> [snorts] >> You know, um I I was just short a few credits cut type deal.

[00:11:52]And uh and then things don't work things got kind of hot.

[00:11:59]Um I I I I worked I worked so I had money for I'm I'm really really really into music.

[00:12:05]So, I had tons of cassettes, you know.

[00:12:09]I still still I'm into music. It's my favorite thing.

[00:12:12]Um So, I had money for that and and weed and what have you. Beer.

[00:12:19]And uh I would uh I would also steal pot from my step uncle.

[00:12:26]And uh eventually I I admitted to it when he when he thought sort of he never thought I I did he thought my friends were or something.

[00:12:34]And uh coming down off an acid trip he called me on my private phone and uh said that and I felt it got a complex and called him back and and admitted that I did it.

[00:12:47]And that became a that was a thing.

[00:12:49]And I just I was just fed up with everything and I ended up going to live in with living with my dad.

[00:12:56]>> Okay.

[00:12:57]>> In in Oregon.

[00:12:58]>> Okay. Oh, that's so you moved from >> From Eureka when I was 19 I moved from Eureka to Eugene, Oregon.

[00:13:05]>> [snorts] >> Um >> And uh >> And you didn't know anybody.

[00:13:10]>> No.

[00:13:12]But I was so used to do I was so used to doing that. Cuz I also went down to you know, I went down to LA to see my dad and grandparents and then I'd go to my my other grandparents in Sacramento every summer. So, I was used to leaving.

[00:13:26]>> Got it.

[00:13:27]>> And and just very social and pretty confident.

[00:13:33]>> What part of LA did you they live?

[00:13:34]>> Chino.

[00:13:35]>> That's it.

[00:13:36]>> Yeah.

[00:13:37]Um Yep. What what What if they're blind?

[00:13:44]And uh got a job um in the summertime in Idaho, Sun Valley, Idaho.

[00:13:54]That was cool.

[00:13:55]Um was there for the entire summer doing housekeeping, taking care of the the condos and such.

[00:14:00]>> How did you get that connection?

[00:14:02]>> Um just looking for a job in the paper.

[00:14:04]It was like a a job fair.

[00:14:06]>> Okay.

[00:14:06]>> For Sun Valley, Idaho.

[00:14:07]>> Okay.

[00:14:08]>> And it was like dorm living.

[00:14:10]Girls upstairs, guys downstairs.

[00:14:13]You know, lots of what you can imagine.

[00:14:15]>> Yeah, you're 19.

[00:14:16]>> Yeah.

[00:14:16]>> Sounds great.

[00:14:17]>> It was great.

[00:14:18]>> Good adventure. Amazing adventure.

[00:14:19]>> Yeah.

[00:14:20]And then uh the following fall, I got a job with called Northwest Northwest Youth Corps.

[00:14:27]And uh It's like groups of 20.

[00:14:33]No, not 20. Groups of like nine or 10.

[00:14:37]Um and the age was like 16 to 20.

[00:14:40]And you'd go around you'd have a crew leader.

[00:14:43]Then the owner of the company would sanction jobs from US Forest Service.

[00:14:49]So go around and do trail maintenance and >> Oh, yeah.

[00:14:51]>> And anything that the forest that they hired the company to do.

[00:14:57]Cheap labor.

[00:14:59]Adventure, you know.

[00:15:00]They dole out food and yeah everything everything you needed. You make like a six six $700 when you when you're done.

[00:15:08]That was a lot of money then.

[00:15:09]>> Yeah.

[00:15:11]>> So I made a really good friend from New Orleans.

[00:15:15]>> [snorts] >> And uh traveled around with him.

[00:15:19]Made it to in Mexico.

[00:15:20]>> Oh, yeah. I don't know.

[00:15:22]>> Where uh the Cimarron Boy Scout Ranch is. It's right near there. Um um Angel Fire.

[00:15:30]It's like it it's uh like 8,000 ft.

[00:15:33]It's near Taos.

[00:15:35]>> Sounds gorgeous.

[00:15:36]>> ski area there called Angel Fire.

[00:15:38]And uh I left there.

[00:15:44]Went back to Eureka.

[00:15:47]For a minute to see my mom. Went back to my dad's.

[00:15:51]Lived then the following fall I did did that again.

[00:15:55]And uh [snorts] JJ was there.

[00:15:58]We're on the same We're on the diff- different crews.

[00:16:01]But uh um When that was over we made plans to meet up JJ and I in in New Mexico again. That's who I traveled with the previous previous time.

[00:16:22]And [snorts] uh my uh crew leader I ended up traveling the country with her.

[00:16:31]And uh I made it back to New Mexico and ended up living there for a year with JJ.

[00:16:40]And that was pretty cool.

[00:16:41]Worked at the ski area.

[00:16:43]Snowboarded the whole time.

[00:16:45]For free.

[00:16:47]Worked at the ski rental shop.

[00:16:50]You know, fit skis on tourists.

[00:16:52]Never once have I put on a ski.

[00:16:54]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:16:54]>> Too cool for it.

[00:16:56]Wish I would have tried it.

[00:16:57]>> That sounds awesome.

[00:16:59]>> It was.

[00:17:01]Yep. And uh then I met a girl.

[00:17:05]Fell in love at the end of ski season.

[00:17:06]Stayed there for the summer. Worked at a golf course. Then we moved to North Carolina.

[00:17:10]>> You and the lady.

[00:17:11]>> Yeah.

[00:17:12]>> Cool.

[00:17:12]>> Where she was going back to.

[00:17:13]>> Okay.

[00:17:14]>> Where she had come from with her parents. But she was actually born there.

[00:17:20]And uh I lived in North Carolina for 18 years.

[00:17:24]>> It's a big chunk of life.

[00:17:25]>> Yeah.

[00:17:27]That was cool.

[00:17:28]>> Did you stay stay with this gal?

[00:17:30]>> No, it was for three or five years.

[00:17:32]>> Okay.

[00:17:32]>> But she was always the best friend afterwards.

[00:17:34]>> Oh, yeah. Fantastic.

[00:17:38]>> But uh Yep.

[00:17:42]It was uh It's a uh weird weird weird time of life to look back on.

[00:17:54]>> 18 years?

[00:17:56]Why do you say that?

[00:17:57]>> Well, it was sta- it was stable.

[00:18:00]You know?

[00:18:01]>> You You were stable, and that's a weird to you?

[00:18:05]>> I don't know.

[00:18:07]>> [snorts] >> Somewhat.

[00:18:08]>> Yeah, tell me more. Like, what do you I don't I don't quite get that.

[00:18:12]>> Well, >> [panting] >> you know, I had I had the five the five year five year relationship with her.

[00:18:19]>> Mhm.

[00:18:20]>> And automatically, I needed a job, so I started house painting.

[00:18:25]And eventually, that's what I did.

[00:18:27]>> Mhm.

[00:18:28]>> Or not eventually, that's what I did, and then eventually worked worked for myself.

[00:18:33]20 years.

[00:18:33]>> Yeah.

[00:18:34]>> You know?

[00:18:34]>> You own painting company?

[00:18:36]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:37]>> More or less, yeah.

[00:18:38]>> Just me, you know?

[00:18:39]>> Yeah, right.

[00:18:39]>> Word of mouth.

[00:18:41]Not even a paint Not even a company name.

[00:18:43]No license. Just >> Referral, man. This is the best best type of >> Yeah, and made all the money I needed.

[00:18:51]You know? Didn't have to work if I had a job, you know?

[00:18:55]>> Well, when you weren't working, what was occupying your time?

[00:18:59]>> Uh hangovers.

[00:19:02]>> [laughter] >> That's an honest answer.

[00:19:05]>> I mean, I'd go music. I'd go go I saw hundreds of shows.

[00:19:09]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:19:10]>> You know, North Carolina's really good for music.

[00:19:12]>> Play music, too?

[00:19:13]>> No.

[00:19:13]>> Just >> I played trombone when I was a kid. So, that's one time I could read music.

[00:19:18]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:19:18]>> But, um I was I wasn't good at anything I do.

[00:19:22]>> What what Who'd you see?

[00:19:24]In South Carolina, you said?

[00:19:25]>> North Carolina.

[00:19:26]>> North Carolina.

[00:19:27]>> Who'd I see?

[00:19:27]>> Any bands stick out?

[00:19:29]>> I mean, everyone would come through.

[00:19:31]>> Yeah.

[00:19:31]>> You know, just all the stuff I was into.

[00:19:33]Flaming Lips to, you know, just just all I I'm into obscure obscure music.

[00:19:39]>> And what else? Tell me more.

[00:19:41]>> Well, just uh lots and lots of shows. I mean, doesn't even matter naming the names of of the era, you know? Pavement, you know?

[00:19:54]>> Yeah.

[00:19:54]>> Stereolab.

[00:19:56]>> Yeah, fantastic.

[00:19:58]Those are good bands.

[00:19:59]>> They are.

[00:20:00]>> You know, there's something about live music, there's nothing like that. Like, the energy and the it's just there's so much happening.

[00:20:10]>> Yeah, it's it's that like camaraderie and >> Yeah, camaraderie, art, expression, collaboration, rhythm. It's just like incredible.

[00:20:26]>> [snorts] >> What's what's that What's What's coming up, Josh?

[00:20:36]>> Hm?

[00:20:36]>> What's coming up?

[00:20:38]>> No nothing really. Um >> [snorts] >> I'm getting emotional.

[00:20:43]>> Yeah.

[00:20:44]How come?

[00:20:47]>> [snorts] >> Excuse me.

[00:20:52]>> It's all right.

[00:21:12]>> [clears throat] >> No real reason why I'm emotional.

[00:21:16]Just am.

[00:21:17]>> Fair enough.

[00:21:18]>> Good times.

[00:21:19]>> Yeah.

[00:21:20]Yeah.

[00:21:21]>> Still is good times.

[00:21:23]Really is.

[00:21:25]But I'm not I'm not sad.

[00:21:30]It's really not tears of emotion of sadness.

[00:21:36]Hard to describe them.

[00:21:38]>> Interesting.

[00:21:41]>> Nope.

[00:21:42]>> Um North Carolina, you moved back you moved back to At some point you got to Seattle.

[00:21:49]>> Yeah. Um I had another girlfriend after after 9 years of being single.

[00:21:55]>> [snorts] >> I had another girlfriend, Erica.

[00:21:58]Lasted 4 years.

[00:22:00]>> [snorts] >> Um That ended.

[00:22:06]She started to follow, didn't.

[00:22:10]Um Eventually made my made my made my way back west to my dad's.

[00:22:17]>> [snorts] >> And then he wasn't doing so well, so I went went and lived with him to help out.

[00:22:22]>> [snorts] >> Started stealing from him.

[00:22:25]You know.

[00:22:27]His coins and stuff like that to so I had some extra money.

[00:22:30]>> How come?

[00:22:34]>> Just still was you know didn't have work.

[00:22:38]The same way wasn't so easy. It was a time in my life where >> [snorts] >> things weren't flowing.

[00:22:46]You know.

[00:22:48]Because I grew up in North Carolina.

[00:22:51]You know, even though I grew up in Eureka.

[00:22:53]Um [snorts] I was very popular, you know.

[00:22:59]And you know whether I was in a relationship or not.

[00:23:06]>> [snorts] >> And uh you know I don't know.

[00:23:16]It's just uh >> [snorts] >> the lack of some stability growing up you know what's wrong or right.

[00:23:26]It's like there's a gray area again.

[00:23:29]You know when you're hurting anybody when you take [snorts] a few things. It you know it does but it doesn't.

[00:23:36]You know, people always understand because I've I've I mean I still you're still you're still true to yourself.

[00:23:48]You're true to true to yourself when you're not really hurting anyone physically.

[00:23:54]I think.

[00:23:56]>> Yeah, I think I think like you said gray area.

[00:23:59]>> [snorts] >> What is what we were talking about earlier?

[00:24:01]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:24:02]>> You know, just with with anything in life. Um you know, if you take something that isn't yours it seems like the repercussions are different when you don't when you don't grow up with a lot because in our society a lot means more.

[00:24:25]You know?

[00:24:26]And you want to feel that instant instant cash, instant this, instant that rather than deep-rooted construct you know?

[00:24:40]And it seems like a lot quote unquote deep-rooted construct what's instilled in those who say they don't steal you know?

[00:24:52]Or what have you?

[00:24:54]And have a persona like that.

[00:24:59]You know, politicians and things of the such in the in the limelight or not, but just bigger houses and cars.

[00:25:09]They still do the same things.

[00:25:14]What's wrong, you know, like stealing or whatever, whatever.

[00:25:19]Just mask it better.

[00:25:21]But they that they seem to have an error of more, you know?

[00:25:28]It's just somewhere in that, you know, that's no reason to go deeper into that. But somewhere in that is where you justify things that you do that people say are wrong.

[00:25:38]Whether it be, you know, taking coins from your dad and cashing them in or whatever.

[00:25:42]>> Yeah.

[00:25:43]>> You know, it's hard to explain.

[00:25:45]>> No, no.

[00:25:45]>> It can be explained, but there's no reason. I think everybody understands.

[00:25:49]>> You're thinking out of the box and out of the norm, which I appreciate and I hope and wish more people did. Again, not so black and white.

[00:25:59]>> Yeah.

[00:25:59]>> There's a lot of nuance in life.

[00:26:01]>> And and the reason why is people don't People don't understand.

[00:26:06]So, you know, you never learned that.

[00:26:10]Whether you, you know, and you have to you have to employ it to learn it.

[00:26:15]>> Yeah, I mean, a lot of including myself, we just do things and we for just cuz we just do things and we never stop to go like, why am I just going this way or that way?

[00:26:27]>> Especially when when you haven't learned yet why.

[00:26:30]>> Hence, yeah, especially. Yeah, another angle or >> that's that's separate for each person.

[00:26:36]>> And then hopefully eventually you become self-aware enough to go, why the hell am I doing this or working working here or why is money my >> Why am I homeless?

[00:26:46]>> [snorts] >> You know?

[00:26:47]>> Yeah, whatever.

[00:26:48]>> Yeah, and I know why.

[00:26:50]You know, it's just things came to a head.

[00:26:53]And uh >> [clears throat] >> You know. [snorts] Um I I came to Seattle um at my dad's. I got on a Facebook.

[00:27:07]You know, through being somewhat lonely.

[00:27:10]And I've always been a drinker.

[00:27:13]I'm not last 10 years or so, 8 years.

[00:27:18]>> [snorts] >> Cuz of other things.

[00:27:21]It just kind of stops that for some people when you're when when you're a certain type of person.

[00:27:26]Um >> Like the other things stop the craving or the >> Yeah.

[00:27:30]>> Okay. Okay.

[00:27:30]>> One craving stopping another.

[00:27:34]Excuse me.

[00:27:35]Oh.

[00:27:37]>> [snorts] >> And uh that uh >> [clears throat] >> There's There's users There's users and there isn't.

[00:27:47]>> [snorts] >> What Why that is, I think it's genes.

[00:27:52]I know it is.

[00:27:54]And uh everyone's a user.

[00:27:57]But some are able to escape the lure because they're familiar they're familiar familiar familiar familial realities.

[00:28:09]And [snorts] whether it be church or or it be this or that, what's instilled as right or wrong does have a stronger sway growing up.

[00:28:20]From what you're sheltered from.

[00:28:22]I wasn't [snorts] really sheltered. I was I kind of just did what I I was allowed to flow into what I wanted to flow into.

[00:28:29]And that's that's where the drinkers and the drug users come from.

[00:28:34]Cuz it's fun.

[00:28:36]It's fun to It's fun to not just be the same.

[00:28:40]>> You think it's like a I [snorts] mean I think we all My guess is everyone kind of experiments and >> Right.

[00:28:49]>> is intrigued >> What what is it's fun for a while. What is one person go one way and one doesn't? That's that's a very interesting thing to me.

[00:28:56]>> Yeah.

[00:28:57]>> You know.

[00:28:58]>> [snorts] >> Uh you were saying something about a Facebook account. You made a Face a new Facebook account cuz you're lonely.

[00:29:06]>> Facebook is how I re-linked with older friends from where where I'm from.

[00:29:11]>> Okay.

[00:29:12]>> Lots lots of friends.

[00:29:14]Always been a friend person.

[00:29:16]Um yeah.

[00:29:18]It's got me through everything.

[00:29:20]And so one friend he had been up here for like time that I was away in Carolina.

[00:29:28]He's trying to get people to move move to Seattle.

[00:29:30]It's ideal. Sounded good. I'd been here before.

[00:29:34]So I did >> What year was this?

[00:29:38]>> 10 years ago.

[00:29:40]>> And earlier you were saying you've been unhoused for 8 years.

[00:29:46]>> Yep.

[00:29:47]>> So the first couple years you were I don't know working or I don't know.

[00:29:50]>> Yeah, I was uh >> Painting?

[00:29:54]>> Well, I painted the house he partly owned. I mean moved moved into that house.

[00:29:58]Did that.

[00:30:00]And then I got a job working for for a professional um gardener.

[00:30:06]>> [snorts] >> So I did that for a year.

[00:30:09]And then uh lived in two different neighborhoods in Seattle. Last place was Seattle.

[00:30:15]Then where I was there just kind of came to a head. Lost lost that job.

[00:30:20]Couldn't live where I was living anymore.

[00:30:22]And uh I'd been to Ballard a little before that.

[00:30:26]The friend my friend who I was with kind of said Ballard was a Mecca for homeless people Mecca for homeless people.

[00:30:33]>> Oh, really?

[00:30:33]>> Yeah, somewhat at that at that time and um where I was I was I was I was in Ballard and girl I was seeing um that was ending whatever and walk walk to a Ballard Commons Park, met somebody there and eventually became homeless.

[00:30:56]>> And this is the first time you'd ever been.

[00:30:58]>> Yeah.

[00:30:59]Ever.

[00:31:00]>> Unhoused.

[00:31:03]>> Yep.

[00:31:04]>> What was what was like going through your mind?

[00:31:08]Like >> Uh just uh less responsibilities, I guess.

[00:31:15]>> [snorts] >> Um lots of people in the same situation.

[00:31:20]Instant comradery.

[00:31:22]You know, this is uh same situation.

[00:31:26]I was being social.

[00:31:28]I was a backpacker and and hiker in my life.

[00:31:31]Used to being outside, used to being inside. Love cities like I love no cities.

[00:31:38]So a well-rounded person, one big experiment.

[00:31:42]Nothing scary about it.

[00:31:46]>> [snorts] >> That's why I'm still doing it.

[00:31:47]>> Yeah, so >> But but I need I need to not do it cuz I'm I'm older.

[00:31:52]My back's messed up from not basically laying down for 5 years.

[00:31:57]First 4 years um First First 4 For the last 5 years.

[00:32:08]For the first 4 years of being in this situation or 4 years 4 years not laying down basically.

[00:32:14]4 years of having a spot, a tent, you know, laying down in the bed of falling asleep sitting up and leaning forward.

[00:32:21]>> Yeah.

[00:32:21]>> And it's messed up my lower back.

[00:32:23]>> Just a bit. Yeah.

[00:32:25]Your vertebrae just eventually >> And it's it's not because of the drugs.

[00:32:28]It's it's it's it's it's it is.

[00:32:33]>> I mean, it could be.

[00:32:34]>> Is it Is it Is it a reason. It is It's indirectly because of it.

[00:32:39]Yeah. you sleep wherever you sleep cuz of the homelessness, because of the drugs.

[00:32:43]And Yeah.

[00:32:46]And I'm tall.

[00:32:48]Always had a little bit of a problem with my posture.

[00:32:50]>> [snorts] >> But uh Like I can't walk right now. Very well.

[00:32:55]>> Cuz of your lower back.

[00:32:57]>> Oh, yeah. I mean My my diaphragm can't support the spine the way that it is. So, I have like that and just it's exhausting. So, if I don't have a crutch of some sort, I'm I'm I become The whole time I've been out here I've been a biker.

[00:33:10]So, I love bikes. When I don't have one, then I have to resort to anything that keeps me erect.

[00:33:17]And [snorts] as long as I have this up, you know, or walking stick helps. I can I can move decently, but bike is what I have to have.

[00:33:25]>> Yeah.

[00:33:25]>> Cuz I can ride anywhere, go anywhere, and I can walk with it.

[00:33:28]>> Yeah. Use it as a walker as well.

[00:33:30]>> Yeah. And a stroller can use a cart, you know, everything's fine.

[00:33:34]>> [snorts] >> But uh When the time comes that the physical physical therapy therapy can help that.

[00:33:40]>> Yeah.

[00:33:40]>> You know, it doesn't hurt.

[00:33:43]I have like almost less back pain than I did in did in my life from work.

[00:33:49]You know, it's weird.

[00:33:50]>> [snorts] >> But anyhow >> How Josh, how are you surviving out here?

[00:33:58]>> I don't know.

[00:34:00]Well, there's there's lots of uh I know. I mean, there's there's lots of opportunities here for food.

[00:34:07]And There's there's there's lots of common ways and means that people do, you know.

[00:34:23]Um I I get I get food stamps and ABD.

[00:34:29]You know, little little bit little bit of cash and um I want to get housing or I I may leave Seattle.

[00:34:38]>> Yeah.

[00:34:39]>> And go see my mom. She's still She's still alive.

[00:34:42]You know, I got got in touch I hadn't talked to her in 8 years and finally got back up with her.

[00:34:46]>> All right, good.

[00:34:47]>> And yeah.

[00:34:49]Who knows?

[00:34:50]>> Yeah.

[00:34:51]>> But I could leave anytime. There's nothing holding me here.

[00:34:55]Overall, I won't say nothing, but I mean >> [snorts] >> but it's life life's events are a series of changes transitions and I wouldn't change a thing.

[00:35:09]>> One last question, well, two before I wrap up. Is there anything, Josh, that you would want to say to the people of Seattle?

[00:35:20]>> Um I think the people of Seattle know.

[00:35:28]You know, I don't even know.

[00:35:32]What >> [panting] >> It's just like anywhere else.

[00:35:38]You know, um there's social issues.

[00:35:43]And I think people get lost in an image they want to they want it to be and just so many people turn their turn their heads, you know, to what it is they don't want to happen to them.

[00:36:01]And then following a leader is a big thing, whether they're appropriate leader or not.

[00:36:09]And [snorts] uh they form opinions and just I think people should just uh remember who they are.

[00:36:18]Who who who who people are.

[00:36:22]You know?

[00:36:23]>> Yeah.

[00:36:25]>> Not everyone's pretty.

[00:36:30]>> Yeah, we all have our sides.

[00:36:32]>> you know.

[00:36:34]I think I would People say they would turn it turn you know turn a >> [snorts] >> turn a harsh eye to it like homeless citizens and such.

[00:36:45]They're just scared.

[00:36:48]>> Yeah, fear.

[00:36:51]>> [sighs] >> Man, if people are more curious than fearful >> Yeah.

[00:36:57]>> be a different [snorts] place.

[00:36:59]>> Just talk to people.

[00:37:01]>> That's right.

[00:37:03]What do you want, Josh, for your future?

[00:37:18]>> [snorts] >> Good luck with your future.

[00:37:35]Good luck with your future.

[00:37:36]>> Yeah.

[00:37:49]>> Good.

[00:37:54]>> [snorts] >> Thanks for your time, man. Appreciate it.

[00:38:02]>> Didn't mean to be so snotty.

[00:38:05]>> It is what it is.

[00:38:07]>> Yep.

[00:38:07]>> It's okay.

[00:38:09]I'm going to grab that little mic and uh take a couple photos, pay some money.