The Cost of Being Single in America.....

Added: 2026-05-22

[00:00:00]Oh, girl. Yeah.

[00:00:02]>> Saw a quote today that said, "Being single isn't the problem. It's the cost of existing alone. One person's income against full mortgage, full you I know that we're not going to be out here telling single people that they have it easy when they're doing life alone on one income." Sure, sure, sure. Sure. I might not.

[00:00:20]>> The hardest part about being single is 100% being able to afford it. It's expensive to be alive. It's expensive to be healthy. It's expensive to live alone. And it's expensive to be a woman.

[00:00:29]I know I'm not alone in this. I think I'm just the one willing to say it. But as a 35-year-old woman, I'm like pretty much over my strong, independent, boss ass, badass era. Like, I would love for someone to just sweep me off my feet and say, "Quit your job. Here's my credit card. Here's the keys to a brand new car. I'm just taking care of everything." Like I need dependence on another human at this point in my life.

[00:01:00]Like like I'm really proud of myself. Like pat on the back. You did it. You did it for a long time, girl. But like I'm tired. I'm tired and I just want somebody else to take care of me. And if you judge me for this, like, move on.

[00:01:19]This is the internet. I can say whatever I want.

[00:01:22]To be honest, I'd like that too, baby.

[00:01:26]Shh. Sign me up.

[00:01:28]>> Hey, boy. Who would have thought that all it would have took was $5 gas for y'all to shut the [ __ ] up with these 50/50 conversations with the with the provider man conversations with the I'm not going half with a man or I need a man that's going to pay all my bills or you know what I'm saying? I need a I don't need not a man that make it just as much as me, but I need a [ __ ] that make more more money than me. I ain't heard nothing, boy. Them conversations be quiet.

[00:02:01]He ain't wrong. I've truly never been single.

[00:02:05]Like, I've never just footed it all alone.

[00:02:10]I couldn't even imagine.

[00:02:12]>> Just get a second job. Okay, so you're already working 40 hours a week. you're already stressed out and you're already not making enough and then the solution is to just work more. Like at what point does that become your whole life then?

[00:02:25]Because even if you do get a second job, that's not stability. That's survival.

[00:02:29]Because at that point, you're not actually building anything. You're just spending more time trying to stay afloat. And the reason this advice bothers me so much is because it's sidestepping the actual question, which is why doesn't one full-time job cover a basic life anymore? That's the part that nobody actually wants to answer. And instead, we just keep telling people to work more and act like that's a solution. And honestly, >> or instead of getting a second job, you get a second person or you go like the Mexicans, man.

[00:03:03]Just five of y'all up in there. Yeah.

[00:03:07]Uno.

[00:03:11]Just throwing it out there.

[00:03:13]>> You're not struggling. The structure just isn't solo friendly. The US economy was not designed for any one person to tackle it alone.

[00:03:23]If we're being honest, the structure is very much married couples built. It assumes shared responsibility. It assumes households.

[00:03:36]That's the reason why the economy even works for two people. It either works for single mothers who get the benefit of government benefits, welfare, and that type of thing, or married couple.

[00:03:48]>> But he's not tripping. It is built for two.

[00:03:51]>> I know >> it's built for two girls. Story of Noah's Ark.

[00:03:56]Two animals at a time.

[00:04:00]Yeah. Something to think about.

[00:04:02]>> Know that we're not going to be out here telling single people that they have it easy when they're doing life alone on one income. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I might not be paying for soccer games and like paying for kids and stuff, but there is a price, A HIGH PREMIUM PRICE that you pay doing life alone. I just came across this today from boston.com.

[00:04:21]Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. This is the average uh one-bedroom med.

[00:04:26]>> You know what's crazy though?

[00:04:29]The single life thing is preached quite a bit.

[00:04:34]It's preached a lot.

[00:04:37]like a lot. A lot. I get it. Peace and quiet. You don't have to um I don't get it. Being alone. Alone and broke.

[00:04:53]Alone and broke.

[00:04:56]Now, that's a TV show right there. This this comment here goes, "I'm 38. The only reason I would want to be in a relationship right now is because I'm tired of the financial burden of being single. Just get a roommate. This is why living alone in a tiny apartment is considered a luxury. I think it's always kind of been that way. If if if anything, it's more now more so now than ever. You got to think about it though.

[00:05:22]It is kind of set up for two. Everybody has this in uh this uh this love for Europe and Spain, foreign countries and the Philippines and um you know moving to Mexico. Well, you know what they do there? They all live together. I'm not saying it's the right. I'm not saying don't live alone. I'm saying uh I get it. I've tried living alone before. Not that great.

[00:05:47]>> The hardest part about being single is 100% being able to afford it. It's expensive to be alive. It's expensive to be healthy. It's expensive to live alone and it's expensive to be a woman. But when you hear those things, I want you to recognize what's your automatic reaction to them because for the longest time, mine was, I wish I had a boyfriend to split the bills with or I wish I had a boyfriend who paid the bills like a man. And when I sat with that and I pulled back the layers that were there, it exposed the fact that I was taught, it's a learned behavior. It's a learned thought pattern, learned belief, whatever you want to call it. I was taught that in order to improve my financial situation, I had to get a man.

[00:06:23]I wasn't taught in order to improve my financial situation, I need to improve my skills and therefore market myself in that way and advocate for myself. Now, consciously, I do those things. I have learned to do that. But the deeprooted childhood I've carried for so long was just like, "Oh, you have a problem, a man will fix it for you because you're just a girl and you need princess treatment." And I don't know who needs to hear this, but that is designed to keep you as an idiot, respectfully, as a woman. And it, oh, that's brutal. This comment right here kind of sums it up. Comment right here. It goes, I figured my peace cost me at least 70k a year. I too was taught that to get a man to survive, to survive. I'm 70 and have never been married or live with a guy. Yeah, but lady, you're 70. You grew up in a time where if there was a time to live alone, you grew up in that time. Figured out how to take care of myself and my child.

[00:07:22]It was hard. Lived on the edge of poverty for many years. I highly recommend it. No, I'm just kidding. But with love and support from my mom and sister, I raised my son. See right there? You didn't do it alone, did you?

[00:07:35]You didn't do it alone. Didn't do it alone, girl.

[00:07:40]You never did it alone.

[00:07:44]There you go. We got it. The verdict's in. She didn't do it alone. Pretty simple.

[00:07:49]>> So, I turned 30 this year and I think I thought that I would be more of an adult at this age. And I think this is a feeling shared by a lot of people in my age cohort and is very reinforced with the cultural trends that we are seeing on social media, whether it be things like girl dinner or, you know, the embrace of whimsy or nostalgia. And I think there's actually a financial reason behind this. And in my newsletter last week, I talked about the rise of like the Peter Pan economy and kid adulting and like why so many adults, one don't feel like they are true adults yet, and two, the kind of embrace of these like childlike, you know, products and activities. And I think a lot of it is structural. You know, we're not buying houses, we're not getting married, we're not having kids, you know, and I think for a lot of people those milestones really laded up to this idea of adulthood. And when that breaks down, and a lot of the reason that has broken down is because of the economy, what's left? How does that shape how young people think about adulthood? And also think about their own money in relation to that. And so if you, let's see, you end up, let's say you're 33, you're single, living in an apartment by yourself.

[00:09:01]That can seem successful after what we've heard. Uh, no children.

[00:09:08]Better yet, now you have a roommate. Uh, kind of hard to feel like an adult. And honestly, I just looked this up. Let me see. I get it. Peace, tranquility, alone, peaceful, and broke tonight at 11. This one goes, "Who makes more money, couples or single people?" I I think it's pretty easy to guess. Married people, particularly men, generally earn significantly more money than single people. With married households often accumulating much higher net worth, married men roughly earn 11 to over 30% more per year than single peers uh amounting to 30,000 or more higher in annual earnings. Married couples also benefit from combined incomes. Wow, this genius math here. I'm I'm really happy we're having this talk, guys. I really am. Who would have thought?

[00:10:05]Married women. While married couples have higher household incomes, the marriage premium, higher pay, is less pronounced for women than men. Married men often earn significantly more than married women. Okay. Well, that just sucks, right? But who makes more money?

[00:10:24]Single people.

[00:10:28]I don't know why we're even having this conversation. It's kind of dumb now that I think about it. Single households, single individuals often have lower incomes and have to manage all living costs alone.

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[00:12:09]>> How are people doing it? How are people living in the million-dollar homes? How are people having brand new vehicles as I'm watching an Escalade pull out right in front of me? How are people wearing all the name brand clothes? How are people doing all of this traveling, going on these fancy trips, having giant families, affording everything in today's world? How are people doing it?

[00:12:31]>> Some people just got it like that, honey.

[00:12:35]Some people make risky decisions.

[00:12:39]And most people don't got don't have it like that. They just don't. They just don't. And I'm willing to bet most people doing what she just said have a strong family system, maybe even generational wealth.

[00:12:59]Definitely more than one income.

[00:13:03]It's not that crazy. And other people doing it simply are just on borrowed time, just borrowed money. You can't really judge it nowadays.

[00:13:13]You could have one guy making five grand a month and another guy making 20 grand a month, and you could think the guy making five grand a month makes more than the guy making 20 grand a month.

[00:13:24]By 2030, 45% of women aged 25 to 44 will be single. 20 million homeowners in the United States are single women. That is more than single men. There was also a study that showed that post-menopausal divorced women live longer than married women in that.

[00:13:40]>> Okay, this is just becoming a competition. I think I've heard enough.

[00:13:45]I got to go through some comments here.

[00:13:48]>> I think I've heard enough of this crap.

[00:13:50]We've already proven single people are are make less money than coupled people.

[00:13:57]Even if you have a roommate, you don't even have sex together, still going to save more money.

[00:14:04]Like, it's pretty basic math. Like, in the hardest economy in all times, the wisest decision is to go, I'll do it all alone.

[00:14:19]And a lot of people get help from their family. It's grandparents, their parents. They're single, though doing it all by themselves. I don't think so. I don't think so, man. I never got anywhere by myself ever. I would never claim to go. I did it all on my own.

[00:14:36]Come on, dude. I had a great upbringing.

[00:14:39]Car at 16.

[00:14:42]No. No.

[00:14:45]All right. The system didn't stop accounting for single people. It never considered them to begin with. I lived alone with two kids for nine years. I make more money than I ever have and I'm poorer than I've ever been.

[00:14:57]It's the classic. The best is when you're coupled up or you got a roommate and you're still broke. That's the worst, dude. I've been there. It's terrible. Yes. I would love to meet someone and be in love, but honestly, I I want to not have to pay for everything myself, plus the constant decisionmaking.

[00:15:16]Yeah. I I don't I don't see the appeal of like I don't see the appeal of the just being alone forever thing.

[00:15:28]I don't get it. I don't really care.

[00:15:32]I don't care. I don't care what you do.

[00:15:34]Doesn't matter to me. I don't I just don't see the appeal. That's all. I don't get it. And not that I understand being in a bad relationship, but even if I wasn't in a relationship, I don't think I would live alone, if that makes sense.

[00:15:51]Uh maybe I would, but not if not if I'm only making five grand a month. And I don't mean to say only, but that's the world we live in.

[00:16:01]The thousand bucks a week thing used to be like the gold standard. That's gone.

[00:16:04]I hate to tell you that.

[00:16:07]I didn't make it up. Okay, that's the truth. That's the truth. I'd be roommating up. You know, they got like the rooms for rent. Uh, I'd probably be doing that. But then, do you want a stranger living with you? I at some point something's got to give. When people in a dual income household complain about money, it makes me want to scream. Well, yeah, they've just overextended themselves or they're just not making enough. You could be broke and in a relationship, too. It's It happens every day.

[00:16:37]Uh, the single income household part is the only part where I think for a moment I'm jealous of partnered people. Lol.

[00:16:44]Like we should be able to claim head of household on our tax returns at least.

[00:16:49]It's not going to help you that much.

[00:16:50]I've done it. Took care of my dad for a while.

[00:16:55]You don't save that much. Honestly, it's like it's nothing. It's not necessarily that you have to be jealous. is just when you're in your 30s with a roommate, it's like, "Oh man, I'm 30 with a roommate."

[00:17:07]It's kind of like loseresque, but then also alone and broke.

[00:17:14]This kind of sucks, dude. I love this guy's take.

[00:17:19]I want to hear him out. I ain't heard that, boy. Them conversations be quiet. Yeah, >> because the end of end of December going into January, y'all spent about two, three weeks talking about classism and dating in the black community conversation, right?

[00:17:38]>> I was in the white community, too. Hell, it's even gotten a the Chinese, the chinks, squiny folks are involved now, too. The ones that seem to be doing it the best are the Mexicans and the Indians, Middle Eastern. But you're forced to get married out there. They already picked your wife when you were five.

[00:17:58]Think about that.

[00:17:59]>> Complaining about dating down, right?

[00:18:02]These men don't make enough money to date y'all and the issues, right? And you need to date within your class.

[00:18:08]Y'all was just arguing about that and and and all y'all women made all this money. So educated and all the money was just everywhere. Y'all was talking about it. Now, fast forward three three four months later, everybody broke. Agents of disclosure.

[00:18:28]Everybody's struggling.

[00:18:33]I I thought everybody.

[00:18:36]This guy's hilarious. Benny Ray.

[00:18:39]I will say something though. A lot of times in relationships, not to make this about relationships, but a lot of times someone else ends up kind of paying more.

[00:18:51]Um, and I feel like a lot of people are just selfish about that. I would say women probably more than not, but there's a lot of couples out there, woman's footing a lot of the money. Like the women are paying up more. You know, they're still doing better because the husband's bringing in income, but I could see that kind of um men just don't think that way.

[00:19:10]Most men, a lot of men, they just be like, "You pay everything." You know, kind of the bad boy, good-looking dude getting away with murder. You just come in. Women will be like, "Yeah, I pay for everything, honey." It's the loser type.

[00:19:22]Women like that for some reason. But, uh, there is that thing where someone's going to foot a little bit more money.

[00:19:29]But, there is that time like my relationship, she pays all the food, she pays all the electricity, all the uh, utilities, things of that nature.

[00:19:39]I handle the big ones, but I also make more money.

[00:19:44]But when we lost our income last year, her ass working double time, went and got went got a serving job on top of it while I was also doing something. So, it's kind of like, are you willing to, you know, if need be, are we going to split this up? Are we willing to go all the way downtown to not stress about the money?

[00:20:07]So anyways, whatever. Getting the hell out of here. Hell of a talk. I think we've come to a conclusion. Uh being single is just way more expensive.

[00:20:16]It's that simple. Unreal.