ER * Feeding Tube Issues * Chronic Illness Doesn't Take A Day Off * Day After Amputation

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:01]Hey friends, welcome back to Llama Mama Kayla's craft tube, chronic illness tube. I don't even know what we are anymore. I've been dealing with a lot. Okay, I have been I hope your day has been much much better than mine. I hope you had a lovely day.

[00:00:25]Well, as you all know, I had surgery yesterday and they removed more of my thumb. It looks like it was able to leave still a little bit there. So, I still do have like a little pincher thing there. Okay. So, while I was insert, I'm going to go ahead and tell this little part because it supports something else later. While I was when I was in recovery after surgery, it was throbbing so bad. I could not stand it. I was just like out of my mind. It was hurting so bad. So they called the um surgeon in and he said I told him it was too tight.

[00:01:07]The bandage was too tight. And he said, "I don't think so, but if if you want to take it off, we will. If that's what you want to do." He took it off. He said, "That's fine." and he put this band-aid across it. Um, he put that band-aid there across it.

[00:01:25]And so he's like, "That's fine. Just leave that on there like that." Okay. So then it didn't give relief. Like that has happened before where it really was too tight. And when he took it off, I got like, you know, instant relief.

[00:01:41]But that didn't happen this time. It wasn't that way. And so it still hurt like crazy. Okay. So that's why it's like this and it's not wrapped up with a big bandage.

[00:01:57]And I think because it's not wrapped up with a big bandage, I keep forgetting and treating this hand as I was last week, you know, as I'm trying to do things and use that thumb and all this, you know. Um, as my hand, you know, like as the weeks got as more since last surgery 10 weeks ago, as weeks have passed, you know, I was using this hand more and more and I keep forgetting and using this hand because it was already hurting like last week, week four, you know, it was already throbbing and hurting and so it's still throbbing and hurting and a sharp pains in it and so therefore I think I'm forgetting because it's not wrapped up and trying to, you know, use the hand. Not really use the hand, but the movement of it and such like that.

[00:02:55]Okay. So, I think that's what's part of what's going on. I don't know. But let me just tell you, okay, so had surgery yesterday, right? Came home. My feeding tube has been leaking and I've been having some issues with it, but I was trying to get I knew I was going to have to have surgery again. I knew. So, I was trying to get through this surgery before I went and had that taken care of because that was going to be another surgery with my GI doctor, right? And so cuz I had the GJ tube and she wanted to separate them into two different feeding tubes. I would have the G tube where it is now and then she was going to put the J tube another hole in my abdomen down there in my intestines. So it'd be like far apart.

[00:03:50]One up here and one down lower. Okay.

[00:03:54]Anyway, um like on my ducky here, I'll show you.

[00:04:00]My G ttube is right there. Oh, in the worst place ever. I mean, it is right there. And then I would have the J tube down here. So, I would have two of them.

[00:04:13]I hate that mine is right there. Good grief. Some people's feeding tube, you know, might be down here closer to their belly button or whatever, you know, but mine is worst place ever.

[00:04:29]Okay. And that and this I've had I've had two G tubes. The first one had a lot of issues and we had to move my placement on my G tube and they just moved it over an inch. And I even asked before they did that surgery, could it go lower? And they went up higher.

[00:04:52]I guess they that's what they had to do.

[00:04:54]I mean, they're the doctors, not me.

[00:04:57]Okay. So, I've been having trouble with my GJ tube leaking out around the STO where my tube goes in my stomach. It's been just leaking, leaking, leaking, and just having all kinds of problems, you know. Okay. After I come home from surgery yesterday, it was no longer leaking. It was pouring, pouring, pouring, stomach acid contents out. Okay, remember I didn't drink um I didn't have anything to drink after midnight and then I had my surgery. I came home and I drank a lot of sweet tea and water. I was just drinking because I, you know, had been without drinking and it just felt good to drink something and I normally drink a lot anyway. And so I guzzled and that's why we thought, you know, it was just flooding. It was flooding. I'm talking it was flooding to the point where okay, we put a split gauze on my around my tube and then I was having to put some hand towels up under my breast where my feeding tube is. I was having to put some hand towels up under there and they were just getting soaked soaked. I mean like immediately and stomach acid was just running out all over my stomach. Um running to the side here, running down my side and my back and just from um the underside of my breast, like my breast itself, the underside of it all the way down to the waistband on my pants. And then my pants were getting soaked.

[00:06:43]And so we just kept changing it and changing it and changing it yesterday evening. And then at one point I had I had cont stomach contents all all over the living room floor, the kitchen, the bathroom, the bar. I mean, it was just everywhere. Everywhere. It was trying to clean it up. us throwing towels in the floor, scooting towels around with my feet, trying to clean it up, you know, and Big Daddy was helping me, and he's finally like, he's like, "Go get in the shower. Just go get in the shower. Get all this off of you." So, I got in the shower and he showered me off and got me pajamas on. He was He done had it for the day. It had been a a long day anyway for us.

[00:07:34]It had been a long day already. And then he was just ready to like get me ready for bed and put me away.

[00:07:44]Put me away so he didn't have to tend to me anymore. I I'm just picking. But I'm sure he does feel like that sometimes.

[00:07:52]But um anyway, I got a shower, got my pajamas on and all that, you know, and he got ready for bed and he's like, "You need anything else? I'll just go lay down." I'm like, "No, go on. Go lay down." Okay. So, I sat in there and it continued to leak like just I ended up going in there three times during the night and I could have went more to get him to change that. Um, I don't even know why we was putting the split gauze on there cuz it was like doing nothing. It was being soaked in just a second and I was just putting hand towels, kitchen hand towels around it, bathroom hand towels, you know. Um, and it did I did that all night, you know, like I went in there three times. This morning he got up and I was like, "We got to change this."

[00:08:46]And he's like, "Come on." So I went in there and we changed it up. Um, it immediately just was leaking. And I said, I have not drank anything since I took a shower yesterday evening.

[00:09:01]And that was probably around maybe 8. I'm not sure on the time, but it wasn't it wasn't late late at night.

[00:09:12]You know, I took a shower and all that.

[00:09:14]I didn't drink nothing else the that night. The whole night long, I didn't drink anything.

[00:09:20]And I still was just producing so much.

[00:09:24]And so this morning, Big Daddy got up. I said, "Look, I have not drank anything since I got a shower and it is still pouring like this." And he cleaned me up and got a new bandage on it, hand towel around me. And I was just putting towels all in my chair cuz I didn't want anything, you know, to get on the fabric of my chair. So I was trying to protect it. And I did. I successfully was able to have enough, you know, there.

[00:09:52]Um, and Big Daddy even washed clothes last night and so we'd have, you know, clean towels and stuff and I just put several layers in my chair to protect it. Anyway, um I told him this morning it I mean it was just a raw mess. It was so painful, so raw. I could not hardly even most like move without just screaming because when you move like that, you move the skin on your stomach, you know. um any any slight movement I did was just so painful.

[00:10:37]I told him, I said, "We got to go to the hospital. I cannot live like this. We just can't get going like this." He's like, "Well, get ready." And so we went to the ER this morning.

[00:10:52]The doctor came in like I saw triage and all that. Then they put me in a room.

[00:10:57]The doctor came in and he's like, "Well, let me see." And I raised my shirt up and my breast up and four hand towels fell out on the floor.

[00:11:06]They were bloody. Each one of them was just soaking wet. You could have got them and squeezed out water. I'm serious. You know, or acid or whatever.

[00:11:15]You could have squeezed out the liquid.

[00:11:17]And I told him, I said, "And I have not had anything to drink since yesterday evening. And we just changed this before we drove up here. and we don't live that far.

[00:11:31]And he's like, "Wow." And so he's like, "We're gonna definitely have to have the surgery team come look at this." Okay.

[00:11:38]So, some nurses, nurse practitioners, I don't know. It's a bunch of They were all men at that point, actually. They were coming in looking at it and trying to figure out what to do and everything.

[00:11:52]And um and I love a good male nurse or doctor or whatever, you know, nurse practitioner. I think me male nurses are just very attentive and um I don't know. I just I just kind of prefer a male nurse to be honest. No offense to any of my female nurse friends, but in my experience.

[00:12:20]Anyway, um they ended up, you know, trying to clean that. He was like, "You've got a bad chemical burn all on your abdomen." He's like, "We've got to get this acid off your stomach."

[00:12:34]So, he's trying to, you know, like wash all the acid off, but in the meantime, my stomach is raw and it is a mess. I mean, so bad, right?

[00:12:46]And um then one of them went and got some lidocaine and he's like this lidocaine because your stomach is so raw. Your skin is so raw it's going to burn to put it on that open skin. I was like it's burning anyway. I mean I'm crying. I'm crying miserable in pain. And I was he was I was like it's burning anyway. And I said but it'll it won't burn long and it'll make it feel better. And he's like yes. And he also took gauze and with Vaseline on it and put around some spots of it too. Um, and that cooling of that felt better. But the the lidocaine, it burned. Like imagine having an open wound and putting like alcohol in it or something, you know? I mean, it burned bad, but not for long, you know? cuz it eventually, we're talking like a minute maybe, you know, it eventually numbed it. So, that burning, initial burning was bad, but it helped. It was worth it. Well, well worth it. And that's what I told him. I said, "It'll be worth it in the long run. Just do it. Just do it."

[00:13:58]So, he was trying to get that in all the places. And I was telling him, you know, like over here, over here, you know, like this spot, you know, and he was kind of getting up under the bump.

[00:14:09]um getting up under the button trying to get it all in there. Okay. So then they had asked for the surgery team to come and so a lady doctor from the surgery team finally did come and she was like um I don't know right off the bat she wasn't listening to me. She was like um talking about my G ttube and I said it's a GJ tube. And she's like no it's just a J. A G. I said no it's a GJ. And she's like no it's just it's it's just a G.

[00:14:48]It's not a GJ. And I was like there's a tube that runs down in my intestines to my dadum. I said it's G J tube also. I said you know I said look at it. This is the G. This is the J. and this is where we put the water for the balloon. And she's like, "Let me go look in your chart." And so she goes back and look at my chart. And I guess she saw that was in there. And so she come back and let me just tell you, I haven't had no pain medicine. No pain medicine. Okay.

[00:15:24]She took the She asked how much water was in the balloon. I told her nine. So she I guess took that nine out. I don't know. I felt like she didn't, but surely she did.

[00:15:35]She pulled all that out right then.

[00:15:37]Right there. The G button, the G button, plus all that that was in my intestine. She just pulled that out.

[00:15:48]Y'all, I was screaming.

[00:15:52]I was in so much pain.

[00:15:55]Later, Big D Big Daddy said, "I thought you was about to levitate off that table."

[00:16:02]I mean, I was screaming and crying in pain. That was the worst.

[00:16:07]Probably not the worst pain because this is pretty bad, but it was horrible, intense pain. And I was like, "Why didn't you give me pain medicine?" And she's like, "I don't know." I guess she just jumped in there to do it and didn't think about pain medicine. They gave me pain medicine afterwards after. They gave me pain medicine and I was like, "Well, why didn't you give me the pain medicine before?"

[00:16:39]And yeah.

[00:16:43]Anyway, she just pulled all that out of my stomach.

[00:16:48]Um, it was bad. It was bad. Okay. And so then they put a G tube in. So now I'm back to a PEG tube. I no longer have the J tube. I just have the G tube, which is fine.

[00:17:04]We'll make do, you know, with that. And my doctor was wanting to separate them anyway and put a G tube a J tube in my intestines.

[00:17:14]So yeah.

[00:17:20]So now I have a tube hanging out of my stomach like I had before. I've had that before. Um and my my abdomen the whole area there is just on fire red raw bloody mess.

[00:17:41]So, we're we've got lidocaine to put on it and Vaseline to keep the gauze from drying in the blood.

[00:17:53]It's like a protectant thing, but it's no longer leaking. So, it's going to heal now. It'll heal up. It There's no way it could have healed before while it was still leaking all the acid.

[00:18:06]So yeah, my whole area, my whole area here is just a huge chemical burn.

[00:18:16]That's painful. But with that lidocaine, it helps a lot. It does help. Now, when Big Daddy goes to change out the dressing around it, that's painful.

[00:18:28]And at times, it's just painful if I move certain ways. But I am able to move and it, you know, it pulls my skin, but it's not. So, that lidocaine helps.

[00:18:39]Okay.

[00:18:41]That lidocaine helps. Let's just put it that way.

[00:18:45]Okay. So, they discharged me from the ER with prescriptions to pick up from Walmart.

[00:18:54]So, I called Walmart. They weren't going to be ready for a little while. So, Big Daddy had not ate anything. And so we went to get a quick lunch.

[00:19:03]Now, keep in mind, I've had a lot of pain medicine, like major pain medicine, morphine, delotted, and all this kind of stuff in the last few days. Um, you would think I'd have the opposite issue, but I did not. I had, this is way too much information. This is TMI, TMI, TMI. But let's just say I had bathroom issues.

[00:19:28]I had to call Big Daddy and tell him to go get clothes out of a car and come help me. And it was bad. It was bad. I'm just going to skip over that. Just know that I've had issues all day. Okay. Then we got home and I had to get in the shower and Big Daddy, you know, gave me a shower, washed me up good.

[00:20:00]I said, "I'm tired of doing hard things." You know, like I was telling a friend, there was a movement here back, I guess, when Dakota was in high school or maybe a pre-teen. I don't know. There was some movement about do hard things.

[00:20:16]Somebody wrote a book. There was signs everywhere. It was shirts. It It was this movement where, you know, do hard things.

[00:20:29]Well, I'm tired of doing hard things.

[00:20:32]I'm sick and tired of doing hard things.

[00:20:34]I need some easy things.

[00:20:37]Oh, I do. I just I'm tired of it.

[00:20:47]Chronic illnesses is not for the weak.

[00:20:50]It's not for the faint of heart. It's not for the weak. I've been through some stuff today. I told Big Daddy I was crying and I mean I was just like I said I have been through some crap today. He said yes you have. Yes you have. I don't think I said today. I just said I've been through some crap. And he said yes you have. Yes you have.

[00:21:13]Oh, it has been hard. Okay, so anyway, I have on clean pajamas.

[00:21:22]My stomach is not leaking anymore. It's going to heal now. So, that's good. But after all that, okay, I keep my thumb like my hand right here. I don't know if you can even see, but I keep it red hair all the time.

[00:21:40]Like um for one thing, it's it's about as high as I can get it unless I you know stick it on top of my head. It's about as high as I can get it. Um I know several people say you need to raise your hand up like where else am I going to put it? I can't hold my arm up in the air. This is it. This is it. So I keep it here to keep it up so it's not hanging down. And also, um, I keep it close to me to try to protect it. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to hit anything to hit it or me hit anything. So, I'm trying my best to protect it. So, I just keep it right here on my chest. Um, whether I'm sitting here or in my chair or if I'm asleep, if I'm in the car, whatever, I'm keeping it like this.

[00:22:31]Um, but you know, let me let me say this. I will say that my hand doesn't seem that swollen. Okay, slightly, but in the past finger amputations, my hand would swell up like a huge sausage. It would be so big and fat, so swollen, and it would be that way for, you know, two weeks or so.

[00:22:57]Um, after surgery, I would say that this is only slightly swollen. Really and truly, it's not swollen like any of the others have been.

[00:23:09]But I tell you what, it is so painful in there. And also I think I'm just so tense and um I'm not relaxed and so I am just tensed up and it it's hurting through here and I don't know if that's from the surgery or if the way I'm holding it or what but now after all that today and what happened at the restaurant and having to clean myself, you know, clean me up, change clothes, clean the whole bathroom.

[00:23:49]Then I was like, it was hurting the whole time, but it's it's been hurting.

[00:23:53]It's never stopped hurting. And then I'm like, oh great, it's bleeding now. So, it's been bleeding and bleeding and bleeding.

[00:24:07]Is it going to stop? Like for real, am I gonna catch a break somewhere? Anywhere?

[00:24:15]I just need a break. I just need I need something to be easy. I need one thing to be easy, y'all.

[00:24:26]So, yeah, that's what I'm doing is just trying to protect this hand. And I think the bleeding has stopped.

[00:24:39]cuz it it was spreading. I could tell under the bandage, you know, it was spreading and everything, but um it seemed to have stopped bleeding now. It doesn't seem to be getting bigger, but yeah, it's it's bled down.

[00:24:53]Yeah, but I done cried my eyes out today. I mean, seriously, I was screaming in that in that ER exam room like Big Daddy said, you know, like he's like, "I thought you just levitate off that table." I was like, "It hurt."

[00:25:17]He's like, "I could tell it hurt." He said, "It would hurt anybody. It was bad." And they, the nurse, doctor, nurse practitioner, and even the lady's surgeon was apologizing.

[00:25:31]But still, I don't know why she did that without giving pain medicine before like I don't know what she was thinking whether she she was not thinking. That's what it was. But anyway, it's done. It's over with.

[00:25:47]Move on. But he's taking a little nap. He's like, "Do you need anything else? cuz I need to go lay down and rest. Well, he's in his chair. He He never does. He never goes and takes a nap in the bed. He'll get in his chair and fall asleep. So, he's back there relaxing. And um I just thought I'd come in here and make this quick little video and let you guys know what what happened today. Like, I just want to have a lowkey, no, you know, uneventful day.

[00:26:27]Is it going to happen? I don't know.

[00:26:33]Hopefully, this is going to just hold on up. I'll go back to the doctor Wednesday with this. So, we're just going to take it easy with it. And I'm going to keep an eye on it. If it continues to bleed, I will go to the ER. Good grief.

[00:26:57]I do not want to do that. But if it continued to bleed and bleed and bleed, I would. But it stopped now. I think just trying to get my clothes, my, you know, on and off and all that. I think it just probably bumped it too much, doing all that.

[00:27:17]But I plan to just keep it on my chest and find something to watch on my tablet.

[00:27:28]and enjoy the night.

[00:27:32]Oh, it is hard just doing everything with one hand. Like I sat down here and I really wanted to fold this paper a certain way.

[00:27:42]But I'm I'm not able to do it right now, but it's okay. I will be able to do it later.

[00:27:51]I'll be able to do it at another time.

[00:27:54]But guys, I just I really need your thoughts and prayers big time. Need some prayers right now just to get through, you know, get through this and that this thumb heals and the skin around it doesn't die and it heals on up.

[00:28:16]So, I do want to tell y'all something. I never I didn't tell y'all this at the time. I don't think I ever mentioned it.

[00:28:23]Okay. So, I have some syringes of morphine as my pain medicine. And so, Big Daddy and Paige will go ahead and draw those up for me. And this when I first started taking it, and I'd have it on I had it on a paper towel on that cart right beside me where and my where my chair is. And I have my drink there and my phone will be laying there. And then we had a paper towel and my syringes of morphine. Okay. So, I was asleep and I woke up and I was like, "What is what's going on? What are you doing?" Sassy was sitting there on that cart licking the end of the morphine syringe.

[00:29:15]Now, I was like, "What are you doing?"

[00:29:18]and and I I made her go away and I was like, she was licking my morphine syringe. Now, if you lick I did take the take it later and licked it. You know, you do get a tiny bit out just by licking it. I mean, you're not getting a whole lot, but there was a little bit coming out when I licked it. So, Sassy was up there licking my morphine.

[00:29:41]Now, obviously, she's fine. uh realized then that like how long she been doing that like has she been doing that every day or was it the first time she done it? I don't know. Isn't that crazy? But obviously she's fine. It didn't affect her any. I did keep a close close eye on her that whole day just to make sure, but she did she was fine. She obviously didn't get enough that did anything to her. But now I keep them in a I have a wash rag in a lunch meat container, a plastic lunch meat container, a wash rag in it, then the syringes, and then the wash rag folded over and then the lid on it. So, she can't get to them. The lid's not mashed down all the way because I wouldn't be able to get it off and on by myself, but it's just on sitting on there. But yeah, is that crazy or what?

[00:30:43]Oh my goodness.

[00:30:46]Oh, Sassy. She is all about getting into getting into trouble.

[00:30:55]Anything she can find to do that's trouble, she's there, right?

[00:31:02]Anyway, all right, guys. So, I am going to get this video up and I'm going to go relax and maybe even just call it a night.

[00:31:12]It's still daylight. It's not even late.

[00:31:15]I don't know what time it is.

[00:31:18]My computer changed. I don't know what it did. I hate it when things update and it just changes. My computer screen don't even look the same.

[00:31:29]And then I think YouTube changed some formats. It doesn't look the same either. And I'm having to double check, triple check things to make sure I did things right on there when I'm uploading a video. And I hate change. I do. I like for things just to stay the same.

[00:31:49]But my computer updated and just and my phone too. They both updated at the same time and they just look different. Things are different. And then YouTube decided to change its stuff up, I guess.

[00:32:08]Surely I'm not the only one, but um yeah, it's trying to get used to that. Like by the time I get used to it, they'll be changing it again. You ever feel like that? And Facebook changes sometimes, too. And didn't they recently have a change also?

[00:32:28]So, and it depends on different, you know, whether you look at it on your phone or a computer computer or um a tablet or whatever, you know, it looks different going different ways.

[00:32:42]Anyway, guys, it's going to get better. It's going to get better. Repeat it with me. It's going to get better.

[00:32:52]I hate this. I hate just going through this, but that's, you know, I don't know.

[00:33:04]I do hate going through this. I'm ready for some easy days. Easy days. I'm tired of doing hard things. I don't want to be stronger.

[00:33:16]those memes that say um I don't know what they say, but something about doing hard things makes you stronger or whatever. I don't want to be stronger. I'm fine the way I am.

[00:33:31]Just leave me alone. Let me have some easy days, easy stuff.

[00:33:38]M I love you guys and I appreciate you coming along this crazy journey of my life. The chronic illness stuff. It just seems unreal. Like how could all this happen? Like seriously, the chemical burn, you know, like I get my finger cut off and then the next day I got chemical burn. It's just overwhelming. It's too much.

[00:34:03]It is way too much for one person to like just bear all of this. So, I need you guys. I need you to come along with me and just be here for me.

[00:34:16]Thankfully, I do have Big Daddy. And I'm sure he gets tired of it, too.

[00:34:25]But I appreciate you all so very much.

[00:34:28]And I will see you in the next video, friends. Love you. Love you. Bye friends.