Upset Mother Claims Dad Is Allowing Their Teenagers To DICTATE Mom’s Custody Time!

[00:00:11]Welcome to Looking at Legal Stuff. Today we have a custody and child support hearing with a woman who says that she and her ex have been separated for 6 months and they've been sharing 50/50 custody of their teenage sons. But ever since dad was ordered to pay child support, she says that he's been allowing the children to stay wherever they prefer. rather than sticking to the custody agreement. She says that she believes he's encouraging the boys to stay with him in order to avoid having to pay. What does the referee think of her claim? Let's find out.

[00:00:43]>> All right, we'll take up file 202358823.

[00:00:47]Candy towiliger and Toby towiliger both are present via Zoom and this the date and time set for hearing in this matter.

[00:00:54]Mr. Williger filed a motion regarding parenting time. Both raise your right hands. You both swear or affirm any testimony you given this cause? Be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I'll help you God.

[00:01:05]>> Yes, I do.

[00:01:07]>> All right. And uh have the two of you had a chance to work any of this out?

[00:01:15]>> Yeah.

[00:01:17]>> Sorry. Go ahead, Kenny.

[00:01:18]>> I was just going to say we were trying.

[00:01:20]Um but it it ain't equal, and that's all I want.

[00:01:28]Okay.

[00:01:30]Uh so I well I guess ma'am what are you requesting and why why are you requesting that?

[00:01:37]>> Um with the separation um the boys have been able to make the choice on where they wanted to stay and stuff. And it started out as 50/50 and we were doing like um every couple days, you know, trying to figure it out. At first we didn't know really what we was doing and then um it was every week with me and then a week off, you know, and then um right after um the whole child support stuff was served to him. I don't I don't feel that he necessarily made them choose to not come with me because of the money situation, but I feel that because of his feelings towards it, they've felt that if they come here less, he don't have to pay as much.

[00:02:31]And so now they only want to come on just the weekends.

[00:02:36]And that's what I I just want 50/50. You know what I mean? I want half the time with my children.

[00:02:43]All right.

[00:02:46]Um, and sir, what are your thoughts? I told the boys it's up to them. They're 17, 16. Tai's almost 18. I said it's completely their choice. Wherever they want to be, if they want to be with their mom, they want to be with here, whenever they want to go, it's all up to them.

[00:03:05]Um, I went through it as a kid. I I know how the it kind of sucks for them. So, I just trying to make it easy as possible.

[00:03:13]Had nothing to do. What I did do is when I got the child support, I sat down and told them that I was going to go for full support, but they still had or full custody, but they still had the right to go there whenever they wanted to. That had no implement on them. You know, it's all their decision.

[00:03:35]So, is it your plan to fight for full custody then or just allow the the children to choose where they're going to go?

[00:03:45]>> Well, I thought when I talked to the the district, I think it's the district attorney, the lady the lady up at the courthouse, she said that that would be the only way to make it so that I didn't have to pay the the child support even being 50/50 because they had me paying like 74% even though the kids were here half the time. And I didn't think that was fair. So I I just asked her how I could get, you know, how would that work when, you know, when they turn 18, does that stop or and she said something about if they're in school. I don't know the whole law about it. I just that's the way I was. So >> they had they had you paying 74% 74% of what?

[00:04:21]>> Of everything. Um I have insurance on them and then I had to pay I think it was 800 $400 and some dollars a child per month. And in the paperwork that I got served, it said that I was going to pay 76% of all costs and child support and Candy had to pay 24%, I think it was.

[00:04:39]>> Oh, that that that's just the uncovered medical expenses. That's not uh >> Oh, >> that doesn't have anything to do with the base child support amount. That's just the amount of medical if there are uncovered medical expenses like co-pays and deductibles and things like that that aren't covered by insurance. That's just your split of that stuff.

[00:04:58]>> Oh, okay. that. I'm sorry. I misunderstood that because on the whole document it said it broke it down per kid and >> Yeah.

[00:05:07]>> So, and I already had medical on them, so that's why I didn't understand.

[00:05:10]>> Oh, does that cover everything?

[00:05:12]>> Yeah, my medical's uh really good at this company. So, I mean, it covers everything. It's like a $10 co-ay for everything.

[00:05:19]>> All right.

[00:05:20]Um, how how did the PA's office get involved in the first place?

[00:05:26]Um because when we separated, I had the house and I was only working part-time jobs, so I had to apply for assistance.

[00:05:36]So they they did all that.

[00:05:40]>> Well, I mean, I'm not trying to stick it. You don't have the house. I mean, I still pay for the lawyer and all the payments.

[00:05:45]>> You left the house and I had to resume all responsibilities, the bills and everything is what I meant. Everything was getting ready to be shut off. I had to have help getting that paid.

[00:05:56]>> I lost my job in was it November, I think it was. And so I got behind on the bills. We got into our situation.

[00:06:07]And then, you know, it was just it wasn't a good situation. So, I went to stay with my mother for a little bit. I did not move out or, you know, we just we just needed some time apart is what I thought.

[00:06:19]>> All right. You're still apart?

[00:06:21]>> Yeah.

[00:06:21]>> Yeah. I'm just Sorry, Toby.

[00:06:25]>> What's up?

[00:06:28]>> I view [laughter] I view it a little bit different than than he does, but in in the end, I'm in the house and he's staying at his mother's and the boys stay there during the week and they come here every weekend, which I don't quite think is I mean, I'll take them anytime I can get them because that's they're my children.

[00:06:48]I want them with me. I didn't I don't even want to share half, but I know that that's what I should do for the children's sake and for his sake. It's he's the father.

[00:06:58]>> But every weekend limits me when I have to work during the week. You know, I only have the kids during the weekend, but when am I supposed to also have my adult time? Because what the children told me was because I'm working so much during the week that they don't want to be here during the week because I'm not even here. And I was like, you do realize that I'm busting my butt so I can provide for you guys to have a home to come home to. I'm doing this for you and why am I getting punished? You know, so that's when it went to every weekend.

[00:07:34]And now I'm like, okay, so I'm not being punished, but the only time that I have any little bit of time off and I work Sundays or I mean Saturdays. So I only have, you know, a little bit of time with them on the weekends, too. When adult time do I get or when free time do I get, you know? So it's I only want I only want fairness and I want my children as much as I possibly could have them. And I'm okay with 5050.

[00:07:58]>> All right. Um, so ma'am, where are you working? I work for Magic Touch Professional Cleaning. It's a It's a cleaning company that cleans um in different areas around where I'm at here.

[00:08:12]>> How much do you make there?

[00:08:14]>> $12 an hour.

[00:08:16]>> How many hours a week?

[00:08:18]>> Um it went from when I first started or when he first left, I was making about 20 around 25 at the most every two weeks. And now I'm at almost 60 hours for two weeks because I had to take on everything my boss would give me.

[00:08:37]>> All right. You said you're working a lot. Is it the intent that you work? Is this considered full-time then?

[00:08:43]>> No, not full-time. It's still part-time.

[00:08:45]>> Oh, could you work full-time?

[00:08:48]>> Uh, not in that position. He I've got everything he's given me extra. I've asked him for extra. I'm traveling extra distance so I can try to, you know, take care of myself. Um, I've been looking for another job, but I am struggling with everything trying to stay afloat and trying to get a vehicle. I've been borrowing a vehicle. Um, because he took the only running vehicle that we had.

[00:09:13]So, I kind of had to figure all this out. It's been a process. You know, I got to do one thing before the next.

[00:09:21]>> But that is been my intention. That's why I've been trying to get as many hours. I've been I I'm doing what I have to do. So, >> right. And sir, uh, where do you work?

[00:09:32]>> I work for Butler Communication as the director of engineering.

[00:09:36]>> How much do you make there?

[00:09:38]>> 80,000 yearly.

[00:09:42]And what the boys told me it's not that I mean it's just they go to school and then when they get home from school she leaves you know so what's the point of them being home or them alone there when they can be with me is kind of the you know and I don't if she has a day off they it's more they're more than welcome to go there. It's not that it's a fight it's to me it's common sense I guess they might as well be with one of us. So, ma'am, where are you going at night?

[00:10:11]>> Um, that's when I work. I most of the businesses we clean, I have to wait until after 5 for everybody to leave to clean them. Um, but there are some like we have apartments that we can do the stairwells, you know, at like 3 3:30.

[00:10:26]So, on a couple of my days, I have to leave, you know, I have time to pick up the boys and get them home and then I would have to go to work. And then other days, I don't have to leave. They'll be home for I'll be home with them for an hour before I have to leave and then I'll be home. Some of them I only work, you know, just a few hours a night and then I got a couple hours with them at night before they go to bed.

[00:10:51]But that is the same for I work every Saturday. I get one Saturday off a month. I clean Chevy. I'm gone for three hours. So every day is going to be interrupted because I this is what I have to do. This is this is the only option for work for me right now. You know, I've been there for four years.

[00:11:09]So, it was never >> How long have you guys been separated?

[00:11:15]>> Since the day before Thanksgiving last year.

[00:11:19]>> Oh, so we're talking like six months.

[00:11:21]>> Yes.

[00:11:22]>> Yeah. We've been trying though. I mean, it's been an off and on thing.

[00:11:26]What uh what were you doing as far as uh parenting time for the for the five months up until the child support recommendation got mailed out?

[00:11:40]>> We were trying we're trying week by week. It just, you know, for trying to pick them up and remember who picks them up every other day and then the kids not knowing, you know, they have to grab their, of course, kids these days, they got to have their phone, their charger, their, you know, games for their computers and then they had to run back to the other house to grab it and it just was, you know, so they made a decision to do week by week and then, you know, one wanted to go one week and we were trying to keep them together because, you know, they're they're close in age, so they feed off each other.

[00:12:12]I I do believe they feed off each other, but Ty being the oldest, he he's been, in my opinion, he's been making all this decisions and then Cole just kind of goes along with it because you don't you don't want to he don't want to rock the boat. You don't want to do anything to cause any problems. So, he's just doing whatever Ty says to do. And no offense, Toby, but Ty and Toby are pretty close.

[00:12:35]So, I don't know what is said when I'm not there. I don't know what impression is being put, you know, upon me, but I don't know if that plays into any of that, but I know that Ty feels a lot of Toby's weight because they're they are connected in that way. So, he like, you know, feels for him more than what I think he would feel for me. So, I don't know.

[00:12:58]It's that I don't know if that's why it's changed so much. You know, we started out doing this. Nope, I don't want to do that. Nope, I don't want to do that. Nope, I don't. So I'm like I just I don't know what's even going to happen until it's already done and I'm being told um we're not going to come only but on the weekends. And I was like well Ty that's not fair. And he's like well I'm not changing my mind and that's it. And I'm like you know what do I just cry? That's all I can do. You know >> so uh why are the kids on Medicaid if they have health insurance through their dad? because he wasn't working when I when I got on all of that stuff.

[00:13:36]>> Has that been updated with the Department of Health and Human Services to show that Mr. Turwilliger is working and the kids are covered by his insurance?

[00:13:43]>> Am I supposed to report that to them?

[00:13:46]>> Well, yeah. I mean, you're not supposed to get Medicaid for kids that have health insurance. That's not what Medicaid is for.

[00:13:52]>> I thought that that's where like they would pay like certain percent and then Medicaid covered the rest or vice versa.

[00:14:00]Well, >> I I didn't know I had I can report that.

[00:14:03]I didn't know specifically that I would have to report that. I don't know. I >> They provided Medicaid for kids that didn't have any health insurance, and now the kids do have health insurance.

[00:14:11]That should certainly be reported to the department so you don't risk uh having to pay some of that back. They don't take too kindly to people that receive public assistance on false pretenses.

[00:14:22]And >> if you reported that they didn't have insurance and now they do, that needs to be reported.

[00:14:27]>> Right. Okay. I guess I just >> any different than if your income changed. It's based on income and a situation. If that situation changes, you have the absolute duty to update the department so that uh so that the services are based on what's going on in the home. If they have insurance now, that has to be disclosed.

[00:14:48]>> Okay. I I guess I just was under the assumption that they would know through the state. I or through the system. I don't I'm not I I will let them know though. Definitely.

[00:14:58]>> I don't think they would know through any system other than than them them being told.

[00:15:05]>> Um, but I mean the bottom line is I I don't know why why the two of you wouldn't share parenting time on an equal basis. I mean these two boys are children. They do what they're told.

[00:15:16]They don't get to necessarily make the rules in these types of circumstances.

[00:15:21]if you raised them together for 16 or 17 years and and did week on week off or a relatively equal parenting time for for five months after your separation, uh you don't just get to change the rules because the support obligation didn't come out favorable. Um that that really doesn't drive the parenting time determination. the parenting time determination or custody determination is what's in their best interest. And if there's really nothing uh other than their opinion, um which I haven't talked to them. I'm just taking your word for it. Uh them saying what they want to do.

[00:15:59]I mean, there are a whole lot of other factors that go into determining custody and parenting time than the than the children's opinion. That's just one. And uh if everything's been equal for, you know, a decade and a half or almost two decades with these kids, um I'm not seeing why any recommendation uh would would come out to make things unequal now, unless there's something I don't know about uh one of you or the other that would tip the scales uh for some reason other than um than the children's preference.

[00:16:34]I I didn't I didn't change anything because of the the child support or anything like that. The only thing I did is say I was going to go for full support and I wanted them to understand why because I didn't I tell them all the time that they need their mother in their life and >> Yeah. I don't know what that means. You told them you're going to go for full support. I don't know what you mean by that. That's not familiar with >> what the lady or I think she said full physical custody.

[00:16:59]That's what it was. He said if full physical custody then they would make a reettermination on the child support and >> the overnights would change. So that would change that. But what are you basing your full physical custody on?

[00:17:13]>> That they were here with me.

[00:17:16]>> But but you both have agreed that they splent an equal amount of time with both of you up until like a month or so ago.

[00:17:23]>> No, they they were with me for the first month and then um they started trying to do the day by day. We've been just trying to work it out. It's been all over the place, you know, >> so that they're with both of us, but it hasn't been exactly equal. It's just been trying to figure it out as we figure us out, >> right? But you got to understand there's 16 or 17 years of history of equal time.

[00:17:47]I mean, unless one of you's abusive or a drug abuser or or you know, >> things that would severely tip the scales in favor of one or you or the other. I mean, you both live uh relatively close to each other, both in the same school district. You know, if if there's nothing really to say um that they should live with one of you over the other, other than that they're just kind of gravitating toward one. I mean, like I said, that's one factor out of 12 that I have to consider when I determine custody. And then after custody is determined, we talk about parenting time. But, >> um I don't I don't know. I I don't see why after all that time it wouldn't be uh equal if that's what it was for all those years you were together and then for some period of time after you separated.

[00:18:37]I guess I'm trying to wrap my mind around what you're what you're going to try to prove to prove that it shouldn't be or that you should have full physical custody as you've indicated. got the relationship between the parties, the home environment, the uh the the um the family unit, uh the children's preference is one um you know, there are 12 factors. I got to look at all of them when I determine where kids are going to live.

[00:19:02]>> Oh, and I haven't, you know, done any of that. I just I don't I don't even know the laws. I didn't I mean, I just was going off of what she said and what it made sense to me. So, I mean, >> it sounds like that was driven by child sport. didn't like the child sport. So, you talked to her about how you could get that in. She said, "Well, more overnights would would reduce it and and then you kind of tailored your your argument because of that." But that's really not a determination. I mean, you you determine the custody first, which you guys all kind of did on your own, and then the overnights fall where they may when you go ahead and you and you do child support. Now, I did pop the new numbers in because she was running minimum wage before. I put in the $12 an hour and I can if the kids are taken off Medicaid, I can back out that ordinary medical and it would be $3.49 which is a little bit less than I think the original recommendation. But you make a whole lot of money and uh I I I don't know. Um >> yeah, but I mean honestly when we broke up I let her have the car. I paid for all that. I paid for her phone. I'm still paying for the house. I seen on the paperwork she put on there that she's saying paying 710, but I'm the one supporting all the bills for the house >> who left me the car.

[00:20:13]>> At first I was, but I'm the house is the big thing. I I'm you know, I got four grand into the lawyer right now and he wants another four grand and I I mean that's a lot of >> lawyer. Is one of you filing for divorce?

[00:20:26]>> No, it was our our our land contract.

[00:20:30]the lady, she can make a lot of money if she gets the house back after we just paid $200,000 for it.

[00:20:36]>> Um, >> we're in the middle of lawsuit with her because the daughter took over PR for the lady we were um buying it from because she has dementia and so she wanted to sell it and we're we hired a lawyer. So, we're trying to be compatible and work with the lawyer to save the house, but I am in the house and he's not right at the >> You got to understand if in a this is a DS case uh filed by the prosecutor. That's a case to determine child support. Custody and parenting time can go along with that. Property settlement does not. If you want to settle any property issues, who's going to pay for what during your separation?

[00:21:14]Pay the bills, pay the house, who gets the house, who gets the stuff, who gets the car. None of that falls under the jurisdiction of the case that is currently open. One of you would have to file a a divorce action for any of that to be decided by the court. Okay. I think what he was trying to say is that he couldn't afford the child support and stuff when he has to pay the lawyer fees because I can't pay the lawyer. He's been paying the lawyer to try to save the house, I think, is what he was meaning.

[00:21:41]>> All right.

[00:21:43]Is am I right, Toby?

[00:21:45]>> Yeah. And I mean, I was off for almost four months, so I've just been trying to catch up and it's just been rough. All right.

[00:21:58]Um, well, I guess you've got another hearing with me on Wednesday, right? For with >> Yes.

[00:22:04]>> child support. Yeah.

[00:22:07]I was hoping to kind of be able to wrap it all up at once. But that's set for 9:30 on Wednesday.

[00:22:13]>> I thought they were going to combine the two. I I have no idea. I've never done this before. It's blindly in the blind for me as well.

[00:22:24]I guess. Ma'am, are you going to go to the department and see about taking the kids off Medicaid now that they're >> Yes, I will definitely do that. Yeah, if >> Yes.

[00:22:33]>> I think the date was uh 213 I signed them up and I think it effective after 30 days should have been 3 313 I think is dates.

[00:22:43]>> All right. And then sir, if child support was 3.49 49 a month. Are you are you all right with that or would you still be objecting to that?

[00:22:51]>> I I mean is I'll pay whatever wherever they want to stay. I mean I just don't want to pay alimony if they're here and I'm paying for everything for them.

[00:22:59]>> You can't pay any alimony in this case.

[00:23:00]You could only pay that in a divorce case. This is strictly child support.

[00:23:04]It's not alimony. Alimony is spousal support. That's separate and different totally from child support.

[00:23:11]So, can I ask you a question? I mean, I don't want to be the jerk, but is it because if someone's on assistance, they they go after the money, or because I mean, if the kids are here 50/50, you see, even if it was exactly 50/50. I'm paying for them here, they're paying for there. How does one person have to pay like I wouldn't expect Candy to pay me child support if I had them 50% of the time? If if she made 80,000 a year and you were making 12 bucks an hour, we'd be having the exact same conversation except she'd be the one recommended to pay.

[00:23:42]>> So it Oh, okay. So it's just Okay. So it's equaling out the the parenting. I guess >> it's it's equaling out the uh the financial resources available in both homes. And it still wouldn't be equal. I mean, if you're paying 350 a month and you add that to her 12 bucks an hour, that doesn't come close to 80 grand a year.

[00:24:03]>> No. but >> to compensate for me not working enough to pay for my part is what he's that's where his head is.

[00:24:10]>> It's it's just to make sure that both houses have the financial resources to sustain the children for the time they're there. And mainly it comes down to income and overnight is are the two big contributing factors to child support.

[00:24:24]>> Well, I had to talk to the prosecuting attorney. Um, I had to make a call to her because Toby, he he wanted me to drop the child support. And I said, Toby, I didn't actively go after you for child support. I can't drop it, you know. And so I talked to um Linda and she no, you you know, it's not up to you. She said that's not even a possibility. I said, I know, but you know, I just had to ask you because he's on me about, you know, and I I don't want to. We've been trying to figure out how to make it work. You know, I mean, it's next month will be 18 years. This is never what our plan was to be separated.

[00:25:04]>> Um, now we just have to figure out how to deal, you know, and it's been left up to the kids, which the kids, they're boys. They side with their father. And I get that. I'm not I'm trying to not hold a grudge against that, you know, but at the same time, they're naive. their children, you know, they they don't know the underlining factors of what's going on. They seen a lot of our arguing, but they seen a lot of his reactions and they didn't see mine because I was hiding away crying, not bringing them into my feelings because it's not their problem to bury or carry, you know? I didn't want them to see it. So, they see they would see what he was going through, but they wouldn't see what I was going through because I'm a closet crier or a bedroom crier, you know. And so when it all happened, they thought I was just, for lack of better terms, the you know, kind of. So I don't know if that had something to do with it or I don't I don't know because I can't be, you know, that fly on the wall when they're having conversations over there. I just know that they their their relationship is closer with him than it is with me. But I don't think that should factor into parenting time. You know, that's great.

[00:26:16]You guys have a bond. What about me?

[00:26:18]When do I get a chance to establish a bond without them him there since that's the case? So I can learn to, you know, be able to talk to you guys and stuff.

[00:26:30]They'll have a conversation with him D and I'm like, "Hey, how's it going?"

[00:26:34]"Good. What would you do today?" "Oh, no, not much." And I'm like, "Um, I don't feel like we've had that chance to get that connection because they had that connection with him, if that makes sense." You know what I mean? So, all I want is that time. Ty is 17 years old.

[00:26:50]He'll be graduating next year. I get literally in my mind one year before he's he's an adult and he's on his own.

[00:26:56]This is my last time to connect with him. You know, it's a crucial time in their lives, both of them. But my time is running out and I don't I don't want to lose it.

[00:27:08]>> Yeah. So, is he a junior right now or a senior?

[00:27:11]>> Junior.

[00:27:12]>> All right. So when he turns 18, he's not really subject to the custody or parenting time orders anymore. Once he's do what he wants. Support can go until the end of his senior year as long as he's doing all right and living with one of you.

[00:27:26]>> But uh but 18year-old, like I said, he's an adult. He can decide where he wants to go. He wouldn't be really subject to the custody or parenting time orders any, >> right? Well, he can do that now and begin 17, can he?

[00:27:40]>> No, really not until 18.

[00:27:43]Yeah.

[00:27:44]>> Well, in my mind, that's what I mean, I know 17 or 18, but you can, you know, be an adult and leave home and do all that stuff when you're 17. So, I think that's where his mindset's at. Like, I can make my own decisions, you know?

[00:27:57]>> No. I What do you mean he can leave home at 17 just >> Well, if he got emancipated, he could, can he? But >> if he got emancipated, sure. 14-year-old could get emancipated if the judge ordered it. But um absent that 18 is the age of majority um if uh if you didn't provide for your child, your 17-year-old child uh up to a certain standard, the department could step in and file a neglect action. So I mean 17 year olds are still kids and they're still subject to the court's order.

[00:28:28]>> That's how I feel, but that's Yeah, I don't think that's how he's viewing it quite.

[00:28:33]>> Yeah. So, at this point, you know, based on the evidence I've heard, the the history and uh and what's led us to to this date as far as uh the two of you and your parenting of the kids, I I don't see anything that would weigh heavily uh and one in favor of one of you or the other to um order anything temporary on a temporary basis other than 5050 as that's been the uh the status quo essentially up until very recently.

[00:29:03]Um and uh the parenting time uh would be does week on week off work best or some other arrangement?

[00:29:15]>> I'm open to whatever I can get. I will I will figure it out.

[00:29:20]>> Okay.

[00:29:22]Set this for review in a in a while and see how things are going. I mean is it is it likely to I mean we got the the summer coming here. They won't be in school.

[00:29:31]Yeah, that was one my that was my question I was just about to ask. Well, there's a couple of them actually. Um because Toby occasionally works out of town and it's just, you know, a week to maybe sometimes three weeks. I had asked him when the when he's out of town if the boys could stay with me because I don't think it's fair that they stay at the house at his mother's house. And he said, >> "They should certainly be with you while he's out of town."

[00:29:58]>> That's what I said, too. but he thinks that that's going to like hinder the child support that he has to pay. And I told him, I said, "I don't I don't even care. We can just set the custody agreement at equal time, 50/50, and then you know, when they come with me, I'm not going to go after you to try to, oh, I had him for three weeks." You know what I mean? I'm not vindictive. I just want parenting time. And if if he's gone, they should be with me. Even if I only get to see him an hour a day, guess what? That's an hour a day. agreed with you.

[00:30:29]>> Huh?

[00:30:30]>> I agreed with you with that. I said that and because I told you >> I know >> chose they wanted to stay at the house during the week because it was easier for them. So, all I did is do what they wanted to do. Candy, >> I know. I know that's what you're saying and I know that's I mean I can't I can't prove otherwise. I just know what happened and I didn't get up. That's what I know and I don't think that's fair. I don't know.

[00:30:54]>> Right. and I guess I'll qualify my previous statements about uh them still being minors and being subject to the orders of the court and uh you know doing what you tell them. But uh you know I we in these types of cases we regularly run into kids that um are a little more strong willed and don't always do what their parents tell them.

[00:31:14]And you know I don't know how I if if they really want to stay there I don't expect Mr. too williger to, you know, tie them up and throw them in the back of the car, take them over to your house, dump them in the front yard and say, "You're going to your mom's just like I said." I mean, they're probably uh, you know, almost grown men, too. So, you know, I don't want to create a situation where it's going to cause, you know, physical confrontation just to get, >> but I'm um but but based, like I said, based on the you've raised them together for all these years, you've not really either either of you told me anything that could cause me to favor one of you over the other and making a determination that that they should stay with one of you more than the other. So it just makes sense to continue the the equal time.

[00:32:02]>> So how do we make them, you know, not like you said, I can't tie tie up. I mean, he's about as big as I am.

[00:32:09]>> Yeah.

[00:32:10]>> I mean, and like Candy, she's like, "Well, persuade him." I'm like, "How am I supposed to persuade a 17-year-old that wants to game and is all gaming stuff's over here?" And I'm out of town.

[00:32:19]I mean, I'll go out of town to start a work in South Carolina for a week and I'll come back.

[00:32:23]>> Tell them I don't want you staying home alone by yourself. Go over to your mom.

[00:32:27]Well, grandma.

[00:32:29]>> Exactly. Well, you he said I told him we had agreed that when he was out of town, they were going to come with me. And then when he was going out of town, well, they said they wanted to stay here. I told them they could stay here or they could go with you and they chose to stay here. That shouldn't have been ever been in damn excuse me. That should have never been an option because his mother's house is she I'm not sharing custody with her, >> right?

[00:32:50]>> Oh, I mean, they should have been it should have never been an option. Put to him.

[00:32:54]>> Come get them then and tell them that. I mean, that's all I mean, they're good kids. They would have listened to you if you told them that.

[00:33:01]>> That's fine. You can go get them. That's usually how it works. The parent who's starting their time goes and picks them up from the other parent.

[00:33:10]>> And I just like Toby said, you know, if Ty don't want to go, I can't make him.

[00:33:15]And I don't want to be the one that is like making him come when dad's out of town. All I'm all I ask for is my 50/50.

[00:33:22]You know what I mean?

[00:33:23]>> They they need to be made aware. It's a court order. It's a it's a little set of rules that applies just to you guys and the expectation is is that they comply with it.

[00:33:31]>> I believe that the only one the only one that can get that through to him. The severity of it would be to >> Okay. You don't want to force them, but you want me to force them for you.

[00:33:41]That's the pro then he's >> I'm >> You should both just tell him what the expectation is and tell them there could be consequences if they didn't do what I mean it wouldn't be any different than if they didn't uh do their homework or they stayed out too late, stuff like that. I mean it you tell them what to do and if they do it great if they don't then there could be a consequence >> and play take their games away take take their girlfriend away I don't know whatever it is >> I'm not trying to force the children to do anything I am fighting for my time with them there's a difference >> I wasn't mean it like that >> all right well at least on a temporary basis I'm going to enter an order of parenting time on a 50/50 basis I'll say as the parties agree so the expectation is is that it equals out. But, uh, I'll let the two of you work out the semantics of that and I'll see you back here on Wednesday for the child support determination.

[00:34:30]>> Okay. What time was Wednesday?

[00:34:32]>> Uh, 9:30. I guess if you guys both agree to that 3:49, I could get done with that today. But if if you don't, then that's the date and time set for a hearing on that.

[00:34:43]>> I'm good with whatever.

[00:34:45]>> I'm too.

[00:34:46]>> All right. Uh, I'll go with that 349 then. Ma'am, that's incumbent on you getting the kids off of Medicaid, though, because that does not include the 55 for the ordinary medical. That would be the amount that would go to the state to to recover that.

[00:34:59]>> Okay. As soon as we're off this call, I will call my case worker.

[00:35:03]>> Okay, sounds good. You guys are all set then. And uh don't worry about Wednesday then. That would take care of that.

[00:35:09]Okay.

[00:35:10]>> Thank you.

[00:35:11]>> All right. You bet.