It All Started With The Mexicans.

[00:00:01]This neighborhood's changed.

[00:00:04]He used to be nice and quiet.

[00:00:08]Everybody just minded their own business and kept to themselves.

[00:00:16]It was nice.

[00:00:21]But then the Mexicans showed up and they turned the place upside down.

[00:00:29]I don't even recognize it.

[00:00:34]When they first moved into the neighborhood, it was fine. They'd have a few people over from time to time.

[00:00:40]But one night when it started to get warm out, I was sitting on my couch around 9:30 and I heard the music playing and I looked out the window and saw cars parked up and down the street.

[00:00:59]So, I walked over there to see what was going on. And as soon as I step foot on the property, this little old Mexican lady walks up to me and hands me a plate of food.

[00:01:15]So, for the next two hours, I sat on the yard couch next to an old Mexican guy who doesn't speak any English, eating burri tacos, empanadas, and churros.

[00:01:29]I got home around midnight and that's when I knew this is going to be a problem.

[00:01:42]Couple nights later, they had another front yard party.

[00:01:46]Even more people showed up. People in the front yard eating, drinking, dancing, laughing, having a good time.

[00:01:59]And I walked over again to see if I could get them to turn the music down, take the party inside, but I started seeing some familiar faces, people from around the neighborhood that I'd never really met or talked to.

[00:02:18]That's when I met the old onelegged guy from across the street. He was there.

[00:02:24]MIJ, that mean old lady with the jet black hair who lives in the house full of birds and drives that old El Dorado with the dancing Jesus on the dashboard.

[00:02:34]I met Miss Beverly and her husband from the black neighbor's house.

[00:02:40]Somehow my friend Marcus, who just happens to be gay, just showed up. But he can sniff out a good party from 50 miles away. So that's no surprise.

[00:02:56]This redneck couple from down the street, Jimmy and Barbara, they were there, but they had to stand in one spot because Barbara's ankle monitor would only let her go to the northwest corner of the front yard.

[00:03:12]the Puerto Rican neighbors showed up and I didn't even know we had Puerto Rican neighbors.

[00:03:23]Then I met Bill.

[00:03:25]He's this crotchery old man that lives across the street from the Mexicans. He doesn't believe in gay people or Mexicans or flu shots, but he was there wearing his wife's CF tan.

[00:03:42]And I asked him why he's dressed like a woman. And he said because his wife left him for her 45 yearear-old pickle ball instructor and it makes him feel close to her and he misses her.

[00:03:58]I said, "Okay."

[00:04:00]We just kind of went about our business.

[00:04:06]The new lesbian couple in the neighborhood were there and me and Audrey.

[00:04:15]Now this whole neighborhood's like one big happy dysfunctional screwed up family.

[00:04:28]I started going to cookouts at the black neighbor's house. They invited me to church. So now I go to church with our black neighbors.

[00:04:39]My buddy Marcus, he's somehow weasled his way into being a greeter, which is kind of wild because he's hosting drag karaoke on Saturday night and greeting at the black church on Sunday morning.

[00:05:00]I got the lesbian neighbors in my house trying to help me get organized and in touch with my feelings.

[00:05:14]The Puerto Rican neighbors are throwing dance parties every other weekend.

[00:05:18]And Miss Beverly from the Black Neighbors House, every time she hears the music playing, she just shows up and next thing you know, she's doing the Biz Marquee to Ricky Martin and Bad Bunny.

[00:05:34]We're all tied up in Jimmy and Barbara's marriage because it's on again, off again about six times a day. You just have to check Facebook to see what her relationship status is.

[00:05:51]That old onelegged guy from across the street, he'd been dating Mij, that mean old lady with the jet black hair who lives in the house full of birds and drives that old El Dorado with the dancing Jesus on the dashboard.

[00:06:06]And I guess they're getting hot and heavy because I saw them sitting on her front porch yesterday with her dead husband's urn.

[00:06:17]So, she's welcomed him into the family.

[00:06:20]And Audrey, who is a singer, songwriter, musician, and a classically trained trumpet player, has fallen in love with Mexican Cidos music.

[00:06:36]And she's been trying to figure out a way to incorporate mariachi trumpet into all of her music.

[00:06:46]in my house every night.

[00:07:01]You can't even walk down the street anymore without somebody walking up to you just to say hi.

[00:07:11]It's all because of these Mexicans.

[00:07:16]They moved into the neighborhood and turned it into a neighborhood.

[00:07:28]And somehow I'm in the middle of all of it telling y'all all about it.