I'm calling a 'time out' on sports

Added: 2026-05-31

[00:00:00]Hello children. Welcome to the fantabulous world of Extra Tug. Full of educational and children friendly content. That's definitely what this is.

[00:00:07]So come on in. It's only $4 a month and it's a lot of fun perks. Chris, why would you put that on the screen? You're ruining it. You're ruining it for everybody. Sports. We We all love them, right fellas? Girls drool. Boys rule. We love balls and sports. It's hard to make this video without coming off like a sports ball kind of dork who hates people who enjoy sports. I don't do that. I am in fact envious of people who really enjoy the wide breath of the sporting world. I don't have an immy to learn all of the teams and all of the people on those teams and who you got to look out for and what trades they're doing. And it really it boils down to people who are gambling addicts or people who play Final Fantasy, not Final Fantasy, fantasy sports. I just showed my hand so hard. I'm such a dork. But those two people are very similar.

[00:00:52]They're both gambling in a sense and that's why they know all the little facts about it. Or they're autistic, which is another thing. It's a weird thing in this culture where we respect someone who knows everything about the the Chicago Cubs and not someone who knows everything about Lord of the Rings. They're both equally as dorky and a little bit sad, honestly. So, today I thought I would just talk [ __ ] about every sport cuz I'm already this deep in the hole of sports ball. I might as well keep it going. Now, before you sport heads in the comments come after me for making fun of your favorite sport, just be aware that I don't care even a little bit. Like genuinely, this is gonna like I'm not trying to be like tough here, but like I really don't care. If you really give a [ __ ] about football, all the power to you. I don't give a [ __ ] that you like that. I'm gonna make fun of it and you just you should laugh along is what I'm saying. All right. Up first, football. American football, not soccer. I would never call football soccer or soccer football. I'm an American. I'm not going to do that. I have such a hatred towards other Americans who call football soccer or whatever. I'm You know what I mean? It's so [ __ ] embarrassing. Do you pronounce the dishes at restaurants differently, too? You loser. But I have several issues with American football.

[00:01:56]I'm just going to start saying football because I'm smart. Number one, too many people. Too many. A sports team should have at most 12 people. You know what I'm saying? Why are there 35 guys on the sidelines for this sport? Why do you have special little teams that go out for special little events during the sport? Why? Like, why don't you just get one guy who's good at all of that? It feels like cheating to just keep adding people to the roster. Like, oh, this guy's really good at kicking. We'll make him kick. Hey, you can't just add another guy. That that's Do you know what I mean? Number two, it seems like the most inefficient sport to me of all time. Like I like this is obviously coming from an outsider, but like to have 17 guys on each side of the field, right? I'm sure that number is wrong, but 17 guys on each side of the field, you hot hike, everyone runs into each other and then nothing really happens.

[00:02:39]And sometimes it happens. That's the point of the sport. But like why not just have four people out there? Why do we need 90 people who are pushing and blocking uh and and and and just like coming to a a a standill? That seems so in that you're just wasting energy in space. Just have like three of them. You know what I mean? I also am not a big fan of sports that uh like there's one guy, you know what I mean? Like the the quarterback like there's like the one guy like everyone else is doing their own [ __ ] but if this guy up it's over.

[00:03:06]If your entire team is bad because the quarterback is dog [ __ ] that seems like a bad system. like you should come up with a different system than putting it all on the back of one guy. And finally, I think out of all of the American sports, people give a way too much of a about football. Like it is a religion in a lot of places. And it's just weird to me, especially college football. I don't have time to talk about that now, but the difference between college football fans and NFL fans, it's weird. Like my one of my best friends name is Jerry and he's a Notre Dame fan. He would kill somebody over like I I've seen him get into not bar fights, but very loud bar arguments over Notre Dame. It's like and he he has an encyclopedic knowledge of all the argument points. It's actually very impressive, but like what are we doing? I don't even get that riled up over politics. It's [ __ ] crazy. So yeah, American football football fans, let's take it down a notch. It's just too much. If you are a full adult grown man painting your face and body to go see a sporting event of children like they're like 19-year-olds on the field and you're painting your belly. Reality check. Come on. Where are your Where are your kids? All right. Number two, basketball. Let's go Knicks. Not really.

[00:04:04]Let's go Celtics. But I know people get really mad when you say that. It's not my fault I was born in a place that just happened to have really good teams. Like it wasn't like that before I was born. I promise you Boston was a terrible place to root for sports. And then once I was born, baby, once I was like conscious, like 2003, like we just picked it the up, dude. I don't know. I don't know. It just happened. Sorry. It's very fun as someone who doesn't give a [ __ ] about sports to get other people riled up by saying Boston's better because they are generally from the numbers. And then they get all you don't know about this, this, and this. I was like, I don't, but I do know we have a lot of trophies.

[00:04:32]Whoops. Basketball is one of my least favorite sports. It always has been. Uh I find it unbelievably boring, stupid. I hate it so much. I'm going to talk about later about the best sport ever, which is hockey. But I'm going to use hockey as an example to show you why basketball sucks. In hockey, when you score a goal, it's a big deal. There's probably like five in a game max, and it's like you had to really work for it. In basketball, there's a million of themers. Like, it really it's it's boring. Oh, someone just dunked a basketball. Let's put that on top 10 ESPN. Hey, the guy's 6'11. He didn't even have to jump. Why are we watching a replay of this? And yes, the people who play basketball are super athletes, but like if you are running back and forth on a court for an entire game and you're not absolutely winded, you don't need to take you don't need to change shifts seems a little easier. That's going to get me in a lot of trouble saying that, but I that's a true belief of mine. Just jogging back and forth on the court. And I know it's like a lot of work, but like still like if LeBron James is out there for four fifths of the game, that's like is a little easier than other sports.

[00:05:28]>> It's LeBron James.

[00:05:29]>> Once again, freak athletes. I don't know. But still, it's it's a pet peeve of mine. And once again, just constantly get just like the fact that Steph Curry can shoot from the middle of the court and get it in. The game's been solved, gang. It's either so back and forth that it doesn't matter until the last 15 seconds of the game every single time.

[00:05:45]Just do one quarter or it's a blowout, so who gives a I guess that's every sport, but it's way more annoying in basketball. I just hate basketball. Oh, and also the fact like I like contact sports. I'll give football a pass on that one. Beat the [ __ ] out of each other. CTE up until you give a but the way basketball players aren't really allowed to touch each other and then when they get touched these fullgrown 69 men flopping on the floor. Aren't you embarrassed? And the way they cry to the refs every single play. Come on. Could you not see that? This game is so unfair. Like what are you doing? Be a man. Punch somebody in the face if you're that mad. And it's such a ref based game, too. It's such an easily rigged game. There's so much they could call cuz there's so many little baby rules in this game. And then when they do call it, it seems unfair because they missed 90 other calls that game.

[00:06:32]Basketball needs a full refresh. I want to see a whole new set of rules for that game. Golf Golf is not a sport. It is a event or a game in my mind. It's really it's that's going to get me in trouble, too. But it's not a sport. It's not you.

[00:06:46]You could be you look at John Dailyaly.

[00:06:48]You tell me that's an athlete or they're really good at hand eye coordination.

[00:06:50]Golf is a sport if video games is a sport. Can we leave it there? It's about technique. It's not about being strong and it's a little about bibs being strong, but it's not about being in shape. Doesn't take a lot toinging tea off and then get in a golf cart. You know what I'm saying? It's also really fun to play, but anyone who watches golf is insane. Unless you're watching like Tiger Woods do the coolest [ __ ] ever.

[00:07:07]You know what I mean? But besides that, who the cares? Also, why do we have to be quiet whenever someone's doing [ __ ] I know they That's a goes to my first point. It's all about focus and little itty bitty things. It's not really about raw power, but at the end of the day, you for telling me to be quiet when someone's playing a game. If that's the case, we should be quiet for every other sport. You know what I mean? How come it it's so unfair when someone's shooting free throws and the whole stadium's going woo? Like how about if you don't like someone playing golf, you go woo whenever they're playing. No, it's about class. It's about structure. And that's the thing. It's such a class [ __ ] sport. Did you know the Masters you're not allowed to call like the like they have so many dumb little rules? Like they Chris, put up what I'm talking about. Like they just have so many rules they can't say certain words cuz it's not classy or something. And the amount of green space, the amount of space we waste, and the amount of water we waste just to keep those greens good for the rich people who play golf. Golf. Moving on. Baseball. Another snoozefest. Holy [ __ ] Oh my god. Baseball is the best way to get drunk in America. That's what I believe. You go to a baseball game, pre-season, mid-season, nothing that important. You go to Wrigley Field, you get a bunch of beers, no one is paying attention to the game, and you just get drunk. That's the best way to get drunk in America. You have a little bit of a show, you hang out with your friends, that's it. Baseball is soing boring and everyone is aware of that. We all understand how baseball is boring.

[00:08:20]Straight up. It's the definition of being sexually teased but in sport form.

[00:08:25]Like you just sit there going, "Come on, do something. Please, please." Oh, he almost hit it. No. Okay. No, we got to wait 20 more minutes before something happens. And then when something does happen, they just catch it and it's over. And then that then we go go to the next inning. It's [ __ ] a nightmare. I don't want to say that thing that everyone always says, but the most exciting thing in baseball that can happen is a no hitter, aka a game where nothing literally happens. Like that's baseball to a te. It's so to a tea.

[00:08:48]There's a joke. I will say though that playoff baseball or I guess any sport, the playoffs are always better. So I'll give playoff baseball a pass. But if you give a about the regular season of baseball, no thanks. And I know I'm always wearing a Red Sox hat and it's because I'm a man and I either have a choice between sports hats or [ __ ] Batman hats and I'll choose sports. Uh hockey. Best sport ever made. Best sport. They nailed it. Never need to make another sport. The fact that it's on ice is a barrier to entry that confuses people and I understand that.

[00:09:12]But if we just like, you know, I wish street hockey was more popular because then people would get more into it. But even being on skates, it's so impressive. It is the hardest sport to play in my opinion. You have to learn how to skate well. You have to learn how to handle a puck. Oh my god, there's so many things you have to shoot. You have to be and it's never not boring. Every time you go up the ice, there's a chance to score. It doesn't happen. You have to really eek it out. Something goes wrong.

[00:09:32]You beat the piss out of somebody. They clear the benches. Everyone's beating the puss out of each other. And the way they score, too. It's not just like a [ __ ] oh a really good three like they'reing backhand forehand back behind the back pass it get it back he's open bare ass over toping chatter baby it's so sick and no one hasing style no one has theing aura like a hockey player Chris put a picture of Lungquist when he was he was doing that the goalie oh my god even Charara put up a picture of Charara the ugliest man ever he's just like he's a man from the woods like that's just scary I'm not I'm I literally have to I'm going to just like walk away from hockey except for the fact that uh whenever the 1980 team American team won the Olympic uh gold or whatever and the guy on the announcer says do you believe in miracles that's why the movie is called Miracle that uh ever since then every announcer has been trying to get their own version of do you believe in miracles and it's embarrassing like every announcer every time something cool happens they try and like they wrote some [ __ ] down before the game and they're like maybe this will be my do you believe in miracles it's annoying that ruined announcing since then because it was so perfect >> I made a comment earlier tonight that um I guess u went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart, I'm so very, very sorry.

[00:10:49]I pride myself and think of myself as a a man of faith as there's a drive in a deep left field by Castellanos. It will be a home run.

[00:11:00]I don't know if I'm going to be putting on this headset again, >> but moving on. Lacrosse where I love I played lacrosse. I was really good at it. I'll say that. But it's it's just like hockey for total douchebags. It's hockey, but you're not skating. You're running. And you're just beating There's no rules against this. You are beating the piss out of each other with sticks.

[00:11:17]Just whapping them. Chris, put a picture of like a a good defense in lacrosse.

[00:11:21]You're just beating the [ __ ] out of them. Just bruising them. And that's fun. But it's just like the people who play it [ __ ] sucks. So, we'll move on. Running. Running is in here because Anna, the producer of the show, is a runner. And she pretends like that's a sport. Um, that's not a sport. We're going to move on. I mean, runners, I I'll stay on it for a second. Runners will always let you know that they're runners. And I remember in high school, like the run team or whatever, the cross country that had shirts that said, "Our sport is your sports punishment." Hey, maybe that's because it's not a sport.

[00:11:47]Just running. I just don't understand.

[00:11:49]Like, why would you go to a running event? Like, why? We have technology now. Just time yourself. Oh, you're the fastest person. Sick. If you have an opponent in a sport and you cannot affect the outcome of what they're doing, it's not a sport. So, like if you're like, you know, if you're just like running alongside each other and you can't throw a [ __ ] elbow, roller derby is the perfect encapsulation of what that sport should be. Should be able to stand in the way of that person trying to run as fast as they can and try and stop them. Soccer, I don't get it, but I'm pretty sure it's just hockey on the ground, so I won't give them any [ __ ] I just didn't give a [ __ ] about it as a kid, as most Americans didn't, but I understand the appeal. It's like hockey except for the fact that, well, they do dive. There's no contact. And it's kind of embarrassing that they act like babies about that, but all you need is a ball and two nets and you have soccer. So, I understand why it's so unbelievably popular all across the earth. But the fact that the game can end in a tie, get the [ __ ] out of here. Go to overtime.

[00:12:41]Where do we Where do we have to be?

[00:12:43]Like, is are they changing into a a festival field later? What are you talking about? Don't end in a tie. I also don't understand how the time goes up and not down. Whatever. I'm just I am ignorant of lacrosse. I mean, soccer.

[00:12:54]And finally, we'll end it on tennis. I don't know. I don't know. Tennis is like golf to me. It's very bougie and I don't like the people who play it. I would say that the worst people I've ever met are like kids who are trying to make it in the tennis world if that makes sense.

[00:13:06]It's just like a very egotistical thing because you don't have a team. You don't develop team skills. It's just you out there. There's other sports like that, but with that one specifically, it's like that on top of daddy's money. So, it's gross to me. And I'll also say that when I watch tennis highlights, it's probably because I don't understand the finer things about tennis. They're not as exciting. You know what I mean? Like you just like he hit it, he hit it. He hit it. He hit it. He didn't hit it.

[00:13:27]Fred Rudder wins. Like I'm always just like I don't give a like I wish this was more exciting honestly. And they're also always yelling at that person up in the chair. They're always mad at that person in the chair. I understand that's the ref of the game, but like shut up. It's hard. It's hard. You know what I mean?

[00:13:39]Those are all the sports I want to talk about today. If you wanted me to talk about more sports, I can in the future.

[00:13:43]Um we also have MMA and motorsport. I don't know. But I can talk about other things. If you're interested, let me know. Did I make fun of your sport?

[00:13:50]Sorry. You also like, comment, and subscribe. New videos every Saturday and sometimes Wednesday. Check out Extra Talk. $4 a month. My battery is about to run out, so I might just fade away right here. But check outing Extra Talk. $4 a month. You get a new video every week.

[00:14:01]They're all runchy. They're all dirty.

[00:14:03]We just talked about UFOs and we just talked about orgies. Going crazy over there. And you get your name at the end of the video. Isn't that fun? God bless you. I'll talk to you all later. Have a good one.