Do Effing Better

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:04]Two [music] best friends were talking in the past from mistake to arcade. We're having a blast. Teenage dreams, neon [music] screams. It was all right and no one knew me.

[00:00:15]Like, you know, it's like, whatever.

[00:00:18]Together forever. We're never going to [music] separate. Laughing and sharing our stories forever. We'll take you back. It's like, whatever.

[00:00:28]>> [music] >> Welcome to Like, Whatever, a podcast for, by, and about [clears throat] Gen X. I'm Nicole and this is my BFF Heather. Hello.

[00:00:44]So, in case you haven't figured out yet, I'm sick. Very. I'm very very sick. And we we have been trying to record all week, but it has not been going well and who knows if this one's even going to go. So. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to we're going to try. See what happens. Yeah.

[00:01:01]One day, six of the flu.

[00:01:04]So.

[00:01:05]Good times. I know. I I checked her Life360 today and she had not moved from her house in five days and 22 hours. So.

[00:01:14]Yeah. I got home from work Friday and I have not left since.

[00:01:18]It's been glorious. I bet. Sick. Yeah.

[00:01:22]>> [laughter] >> You know. But the whole being in the house for six days, yeah, awesome.

[00:01:29]I'm so jealous. Yeah. The whole heat wave, I was just in the air conditioning.

[00:01:35]So, it's been hot.

[00:01:38]>> [laughter] >> Um not only has it been hot, but it's been ridiculously hot. Uh like, I have terrible sunburn. Um and then today is like 60°, so I I don't know.

[00:01:54]>> Yep. Yep. Yep.

[00:01:56]Yeah, I know.

[00:01:58]Yeah, Mother May Nature's been on a roll here lately. I I don't even I can't even Who the hell knows even.

[00:02:05]So, we're going to get through this as quick as possible so that Nicole can go back to bed.

[00:02:11]>> [laughter] >> That is true. All right, I don't think I have any small talk. I've watched a whole bunch of TV.

[00:02:20]Yeah. And I've slept a lot, so >> Yeah. I don't have anything. Yeah.

[00:02:25]>> [laughter] >> All right, well, then um before we get started, like, share, rate, review. Yes.

[00:02:33]Find us on all the socials.

[00:02:36]>> Yes. Check out our website at likewhateverpod.com.

[00:02:41]Yeah. Oh, um sorry, right real quick. The Tik Tok Uh-huh.

[00:02:46]>> I meant to tell you this earlier. I hijacked the Tik Tok um because the the clothing brand Halara has a thing called the Halara Circle that if you join it, they send you free clothes every now and then, and you just have to review them.

[00:03:01]Ooh.

[00:03:03]And so, they're sending me $50 in clothes a month.

[00:03:06]What?

[00:03:07]>> If I put up two videos. What what? So, if you're on the tickety talk, just go like it. Don't watch it, but just go like it. Yeah.

[00:03:17]>> Yeah. That's awesome. And it's all like athletics not I I do actually like Halara clothes a lot because it's like leggings and [ __ ] so it's very comfortable. But yeah.

[00:03:29]Okay, yeah, I've seen their advertisements. I've never had gotten anything. I like their dresses. I [ __ ] love it. I mean, it's kind of it's a little expensive for like the Chinese stuff, but I feel like it lasts a lot longer, too. Okay.

[00:03:42]>> I'm really not trying to do a commercial, but I really do like the brand. So, >> [laughter] >> it does take like forever for the [ __ ] to get here, but Hm.

[00:03:52]Um it's extremely comfortable, so.

[00:03:55]Okay. I'll check it out. Yeah, so Tik Tok like whatever pod. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:04:02]All right. Um so, let's get started then. Do it.

[00:04:07]Let's [ __ ] around and find out about Lorena Bobbitt. Yeah.

[00:04:12]>> [laughter] >> So, this um idea started out um to make you laugh a couple weeks ago when I first came up with this idea.

[00:04:22]Um at that point that I was feeling kind of Lorena Bobbity.

[00:04:28]Um >> [laughter] >> Uh-huh. Um but um yeah, but then as I was doing it it it became dark and then it became really sad and so it it took a different turn than I expected, but I think it's going to be some good information. Um Yeah, I I've listened to a lot of true crime podcasts on this. And and much like a lot of the things that we experienced in the '90s, um yeah, we were wrong. Yeah. We were just straight out [ __ ] Um Yeah, she was turned into a joke and >> Yeah. And um mu- much like um what's her name? Um Bill Clinton.

[00:05:19]Uh Monica Lewinsky.

[00:05:21]>> Monica Lewinsky. It's the same situation and it's extremely unfortunate and Yeah.

[00:05:28]And it just shows how the media influences. Yeah, it's a we all owe her a big apology.

[00:05:36]Yeah. Yep. Yep. I actually heard something somebody else say that about Monica Lewinsky.

[00:05:43]Maybe a lady wrote a book or something.

[00:05:46]And she said the same thing. She was like, I'm Oh, I think she's I Maybe it was on NPR I heard it and she was reading one of her like old diaries or something and she was like mortified by what she had written about Monica Lewinsky back then. Yeah.

[00:06:01]So, all right. So, um my resources were biography.com and people.com and trigger warning um domestic violence, rape, and women not being believed. Yeah.

[00:06:16]All right.

[00:06:18]Lorena Bobbitt Bobbitt, formerly Lorena Gallo, was born May 15th, 1969.

[00:06:25]Uh she was an Ecuadorian immigrant.

[00:06:28]John Wayne Bobbitt and Lorena Bobbitt married on June 18th, 1989.

[00:06:34]Uh and their relationship received international press coverage in 1993 when Lorena severed John's penis with a kitchen knife while he was asleep in bed.

[00:06:44]His penis was successfully surgically reattached.

[00:06:48]Lorena, an Ecuadorian immigrant, alleged that her husband John, a bar bouncer and former US Marine, had raped and abused her for years.

[00:06:57]John was charged with rape later that year, but was acquitted and subsequently starred in two pornographic films. Yeah.

[00:07:05]The next year Lorena was acquitted of assault by reason of insanity and went on to start a foundation for domestic abuse victims and their children. And the couple divorced in 1995.

[00:07:19]Um it's wild that that she was found insane to get away with it.

[00:07:26]You know, and it's unfortunate because uh I think at the time there was no such thing as spousal rape.

[00:07:33]Right.

[00:07:34]Just because you married someone does not mean that you gave them carte blanche to your body. Yeah. said you know. Yeah. Cuz sex is still a thing, no matter if there's a ring or not involved.

[00:07:48]100%.

[00:07:49]Yeah, so Mhm.

[00:07:52]Uh in the early hours of June 23rd, 1993, Lorena Bobbitt took an 8-in knife from her apartment's kitchen and cut off the penis of her husband, John Wayne Bobbitt.

[00:08:03]She then drove away from the apartment and threw the severed organ into a field in Manassas, Virginia.

[00:08:10]After her actions became public, the media swept in to cover everything from John's successful penis reattachment surgery to Lorena's trial in 1994.

[00:08:20]Lorena had stated that she was a victim of domestic violence throughout her marriage and that her husband had raped her shortly before she castrated him.

[00:08:28]Though John denied any abuse, Lorena was found not guilty of wounding her husband due to temporary insanity brought on by the trauma she'd endured.

[00:08:38]She was has resumed the use of her maiden name of Lorena Gallo.

[00:08:45]Lorena was born in Bucay, Ecuador in 1969.

[00:08:52]She grew up in Caracas, Venezuela with two younger siblings.

[00:08:57]Her father worked as a dental technician and the family lived a middle-class lifestyle.

[00:09:02]After a trip to the United States that was a gift from for her quinceañera, Lorena wanted to live in the country.

[00:09:09]Though her family was unsuccessful in an attempt to immigrate in 1987, she obtained a student visa.

[00:09:18]To earn money, she worked as a nanny and later took a position at a nail salon.

[00:09:23]In 1988, Lorena met John, then a US Marine, at a club for enlisted men.

[00:09:29]At the time, Lorena was a community college student in Virginia.

[00:09:33]John became Lorena's first boyfriend when they subsequently began dating. The pair were married on June 18th, 1989 and when Lorena was 20 and John was 22.

[00:09:46]Lorena has said that her husband became violent a few weeks after their 1989 wedding as John hit her when she voiced disapproval of his dangerous driving when they were returning home from a bar.

[00:09:58]Per Lorena, the violence in the relationship continued from that point with John striking and raping her.

[00:10:05]Arguments often stemmed from her questioning his spending or habit of having people stay in the apartment with no advance notice.

[00:10:14]Which is also it's also unfortunate because she was so young.

[00:10:19]She was and she like dreamed of living here. Yeah. And and you know of course not saying that only young people are abused but it's a lot easier to abuse keep someone under your thumb like that who's not from here that is probably English not her first language in an area that part of the world. Manassas is a nice area but you know Yeah and she's got no family here with her. Yeah.

[00:11:01]>> She's far from everybody.

[00:11:03]Um according to Lorena, John forced her to get an abortion when she became pregnant. Um she said that at the clinic he taunted her about how the procedure would kill her.

[00:11:15]Nice. Yeah. Sweet guy.

[00:11:19]After John left the Marines in 1991, Lorena's work at a nail salon became the couple's main source of income.

[00:11:26]She also stole from her employer stating that she acted due to financial pressure as she and John were unable to keep up with mortgage payments on a home they purchased in 1990.

[00:11:36]She also shoplifted dresses, which she said occurred because she wanted to improve her appearance to keep her husband from seeing other women.

[00:11:45]Police were called to Bobbitt's home on multiple occasions. In February 1991, John pleaded guilty to assault and battery, though the charges were dismissed after he went through counseling.

[00:11:58]The couple separated in October 1991, but re- reunited a year later.

[00:12:04]In April 1993, they moved into a new apartment in Manassas. On June 21st, 1993, Lorena began the process of filing a protective order.

[00:12:14]John has denied he was abusive during their marriage. In his version of events, Lorena was extremely jealous and the one who hit him.

[00:12:22]If he struck her, it was while protecting himself.

[00:12:26]Uh-huh. Yeah, it's what they all say.

[00:12:29]Yeah. His attorney stated that terminating Lorena's pregnancy was a mutual decision.

[00:12:35]Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

[00:12:37]>> [clears throat] >> John has offered the explanation that Lorena was upset that he planned to divorce her, putting her green card and ability to become a US citizen at risk.

[00:12:47]Well, there you have it. I mean, that's the control. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, that's an easy carrot to dangle. Yeah.

[00:12:55]Mhm.

[00:12:57]In 1993, Lorena denied that her marriage took place because she wanted to stay in the country.

[00:13:03]She once told Vanity Fair, "I thought John was very handsome, blue eyes, a man in a uniform, you know, he was almost like a symbol, a Marine fighting for the country. I believed in this beautiful country. I was swept off my feet. I wanted my American dream."

[00:13:20]According to Lorena, in the early hours of June 23rd, 1993, her husband came home drunk. He then raped her in their apartment.

[00:13:28]After the attack, she spotted a knife when she went into the kitchen. She returned to the bedroom and cut off her sleeping husband's penis.

[00:13:37]Lorena, still holding the knife and the severed organ, then drove away from the apartment building. She tossed the penis into a field before ending up at a friend's house.

[00:13:46]At her friend's urging, Lorena contacted the police and told them where she had thrown the penis.

[00:13:53]Police located it and reattachment surgery was a success.

[00:13:57]Meanwhile, Lorena had a rape kit examination in the same hospital.

[00:14:03]News of Lorena's actions resulted in a whirlwind of media attention. Some women's rights activists thought the incident could lead to more awareness of domestic violence, but instead, the case became a tabloid sensation and fodder for comedians.

[00:14:19]In November 1993, John went on trial for marital sexual assault.

[00:14:24]Though Lorena had accused him of rape at the time, Virginia law required couples to be living separately or for serious physical injuries to occur for a charge of marital rape.

[00:14:35]You know, the details of it all. And it's the it's the same thing also with like a restraining order. Like it's so hard to get a restraining order and there and it's like, well, they haven't hurt you. So, yeah, that's why I'm trying to get the [ __ ] restraining order so they don't hurt me. I know. I watch so many of these shows and it is just mind-blowing. Like these women are doing everything they're supposed to do.

[00:15:01]And nobody cares. No, we just have to do better. We just have to do better. We we have to believe women. My god, like >> Yeah.

[00:15:10]Because what is the what is the outlier?

[00:15:14]The How many women falsify rape? Like how I can't be that many that it's I bet it's a very very very small percentage.

[00:15:26]Very small.

[00:15:28]It's just we just have to do better.

[00:15:30]Yes.

[00:15:32]Um so on that during that trial he John was found not guilty.

[00:15:38]Of course. Yeah.

[00:15:39]In January 1994 Lorena's trial began.

[00:15:43]She had been charged with malicious wounding which put her at risk for up to 20 years behind bars and possibly deportation from the United States.

[00:15:54]During the televised proceedings Lorena testified that her husband had raped and hit her throughout their marriage.

[00:16:00]Her defense team argued that she had been tormented by years of abuse and driven temporarily insane and that in slicing off her husband's penis she had been subject to an ear resistible impulse.

[00:16:14]The prosecution's case included a statement Lorena had given to police in which she said he always have orgasms and he doesn't wait for me to have orgasm.

[00:16:25]She later stated that the interview was inaccurate because she didn't have access to a translator. Oh, there you go. Isn't that lovely? I when I read that the first time I was so pissed.

[00:16:38]Um she was trying to explain sex in the best way that she knows how.

[00:16:43]Yeah.

[00:16:44]And they take it to mean that she says he's a selfish lover.

[00:16:48]Um which he probably was.

[00:16:52]Oh, yeah.

[00:16:53]>> [laughter] >> Um during Lorena's trial John testified that he had never committed any acts of violence against his wife.

[00:17:02]However, other witnesses corroborated that Lorena had appeared with bruises and stated that John had been hitting and shoving his wife.

[00:17:11]Friends of John said under oath that they had heard him express a liking for four sex. Huh.

[00:17:19]Outside the courtroom, there was an almost circus-like atmosphere. One radio station served up hot dogs and sliced soda.

[00:17:28]Chocolate penises and t-shirts with the slogan "Manassas, a cut above the rest" were available for purchase.

[00:17:35]But not everyone considered the case a joking matter. Though they weren't the focus of much media coverage, members of the Hispanic community regularly came to the courthouse to show their respect for Lorena.

[00:17:47]Good.

[00:17:48]Yes.

[00:17:50]So in here, I wanted to put in some resources. Um if you are facing violence, um at home or in a relationship, there is the US Department of Justice Office on Violence Against Women.

[00:18:07]Um they have an email [email protected].

[00:18:15]The phone number is 202-307-6026.

[00:18:22]And they also have a website, but I'm not going to read that.

[00:18:25]Um there is the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

[00:18:31]And so all these I did were are these ones I did national cuz I And then every state, everybody, I mean, everyone has I think is it 211?

[00:18:43]311?

[00:18:43]>> so. I don't remember what the number is, yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:47]Um that one, too, will work. Uh so yeah, so the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799 and the word safe, s a f e.

[00:18:59]And you can talk to a live advocate. Um or you can text start, s t a r t, to 88788, and someone will reach out to you.

[00:19:10]That's probably a better option. A text.

[00:19:13]Oh, well, a text or the the national hotline rather than going to the DOJ because I did think of that when I put it in.

[00:19:22]>> [laughter] >> I know.

[00:19:25]Maybe not.

[00:19:26]>> is not run Yeah. The lunatics are running that asylum, so You've got that right. You've got that right. Maybe go with a different domestic violence hotline.

[00:19:40]>> Yeah, definitely.

[00:19:42]All right. Should we do the diary real quick? Yeah, go ahead. All [clears throat] right. We're also going to probably run this raw, guys, because I don't know how it's going to go, so Yeah, we're long >> There's no edits today.

[00:19:57]No, we're Yeah, we're long-distance, uh, um, cuz I can't stay awake long enough to drive the hour and a half to get over to her and then get back, so And I don't I don't really want to be in a room with her. No.

[00:20:07]>> [laughter] >> I don't want to be in a room with me anymore, either.

[00:20:13]>> [laughter] >> All right. So, last time was September, and that was my plans for when I got older, and I was way off on most of it. Yeah.

[00:20:22]Uh, now we're on December 27th, 1984.

[00:20:26]Wow, we are jumping. We're going to change years soon.

[00:20:30]It won't be the '84 diary anymore. This is a short short one, so um, this is my X-mas slumber party. Oh, I must have put a picture in here.

[00:20:41]My friends are Daphne, Yes.

[00:20:46]I've heard.

[00:20:48]Sammy, Christie, and Tina. Oh.

[00:20:52]We exchanged gifts and ate snacks. Merry X-mas.

[00:20:57]Merry Merry X-mas. Yeah.

[00:21:00]That's right.

[00:21:01]>> I'm surprised you were allowed to write X-mas and not I was probably rebelling.

[00:21:06]Keep the Christ in Christmas. Oh, had it hidden deep in my diary.

[00:21:10]>> [laughter] >> All right, I was going to try not to cough, but there's one coming. Sorry.

[00:21:19]Okay, on to the story. Yeah.

[00:21:22]On January 25th On January 21st, 1994, Lorena was found not guilty due to temporary insanity, meaning she did not have to spend time in prison for wounding John.

[00:21:34]Following the acquittal, she was sent to a hospital for a 45-day psychiatric evaluation as required by Virginia state law, after which she was released, which is hilarious because no psych hospital holds you for 45 days. No.

[00:21:49]>> Unless you're a woman that's done something to a man, and then They hold you forever. And we need to punish you.

[00:21:55]Yeah.

[00:21:56]Um despite her notoriety following the attack and trial, Lorena chose to remain in the Manassas area.

[00:22:04]When asked why by the New York Times in 2019, she responded, "I live here. This is my home. Why should he have the last laugh?"

[00:22:15]You're not wrong. That's right, girl.

[00:22:18]Lorena became a US citizen in the summer of 1994. Oh, it just started pouring rain outside. Sorry.

[00:22:26]>> [laughter] >> Probably not where you are. No.

[00:22:29]Not yet.

[00:22:31]Um her divorce from John was finalized in 1994. Right.

[00:22:36]She accepted money for some of Huh?

[00:22:40]Dog is barking. Oh.

[00:22:43]>> [laughter] >> You know he always likes to join in.

[00:22:46]>> I know. I I don't He lays here the entire night without saying a single [ __ ] word. The [laughter] minute we start recording, he's got so much to say.

[00:22:59]>> [snorts] >> Uh let's see.

[00:23:02]She accepted money for some appearances in South America, but has said she rejected the million dollars offered if she would pose for Playboy.

[00:23:12]Again, another great exploitation. Yep.

[00:23:15]Um, to earn a living, she worked as a cosmetologist, an administrative assistant, and a real estate agent.

[00:23:24]Uh, with the Lorena Gallo Foundation founded in 2007, Lorena created an organization to help victims of domestic violence and their children and to raise awareness of the issue.

[00:23:37]She has explained she didn't know of the option to seek refuge in a shelter during her marriage.

[00:23:43]She has also revealed as an immigrant woman, I was often too scared to call the police for help.

[00:23:50]My abusive husband always threatened that he would have the police detain me and have me deported back to my country.

[00:23:57]Yep, there's the control.

[00:24:00]Um, and then here I wanted to throw in a couple of shelter resources.

[00:24:06]Uh, national, there is the domesticshelters.org, uh, where you can go to find a shelter near you at www. dot domesticshelters.org.

[00:24:18]Um, and the National Women's Shelter Network.

[00:24:24]Uh, and with that one, you go on the website and submit a form and someone will contact you. And that's um, nationalwomensshelternetwork.org.

[00:24:35]All right.

[00:24:37]I have to I have to just interject one second. I'm sorry. No, go.

[00:24:41]>> I'm getting text message because I text my sister earlier and of course she can't be timely in her texting. Um, I don't know if you saw the list of you probably didn't cuz you don't care, but the 2026 hurricane season storm names are out. Oh.

[00:24:59]And my niece's name is on it.

[00:25:02]Get out. Her nickname, but yeah.

[00:25:05]Oh, that's so fun. I don't know. If we get up that high, we're all in trouble.

[00:25:13]>> [laughter] >> You live on the East Coast and we get to the ends, you're in trouble.

[00:25:18]>> [laughter] >> She's just texting me now and I said I sent her a picture of the list and she just said back, "Oh, no."

[00:25:26]>> [laughter] >> Sorry. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Well, your niece is a bit of a hurricane. Yes, she is.

[00:25:34]>> [laughter] >> Um While attending Northern Virginia Community College after her trial, Lorena met David Bellinger.

[00:25:44]The two were friends before a romantic relationship developed. Their daughter, Olivia, was born in 2005. Though Lorena has sometimes referred to Bellinger as her husband, she opted not to marry him.

[00:25:56]Wise. Smart. Very smart. Very, very smart.

[00:26:00]>> [snorts] >> Uh Lorena took part in Lorena, a 2019 documentary that was produced by Jordan Peele, which I didn't realize he did that. So, I'm going to have to go watch that.

[00:26:11]>> Yeah, I didn't know that. I didn't know he did documentaries, yeah. Mhm. Yeah, and I love everything he does. Yeah. Um the program revisited how her claims of domestic violence had been swept aside in 1993 as the media focused on John's severed penis.

[00:26:28]Lorena also served as an executive producer and narrator for the 2020 Lifetime bio-epic, I Was Lorena Bobbitt.

[00:26:36]"People used to judge me before saying that I they don't believe my story. To tell the story again is more than a blessing. To me, it is an opportunity to tell it right." Lorena told Entertainment Tonight ahead of the 2020 premiere of Lifetime's I Was Lorena Bobbitt.

[00:26:55]Lorena Bobbitt's story is one of the most infamous alleged crimes in American history.

[00:27:02]Following Lorena's accusations, John was charged with marital sexual assault, an offense that also faced a maximum sentence of 20 years. John claimed that he did not remember having sex on the night of June 23rd and denied all allegations of abuse and rape.

[00:27:19]His trial, which was not televised, spanned two days. He was ultimately found not guilty.

[00:27:25]Um let's see.

[00:27:32]Lorena is an advocate for domestic violence and the founder of the Gallo Foundation.

[00:27:39]"One of my missions is to educate the public and young women about the red flags in dating an abuser.

[00:27:45]I go to colleges and talk to sororities," she told Time in 2018.

[00:27:50]"I volunteer in local shelters for victims of domestic violence in northern Virginia. I'm a facilitator. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a psychologist, but we teach them to set boundaries, so eventually they end up figuring out the answer themselves."

[00:28:07]I love that she I mean, she really did get her American dream. She thought the American dream was to get married and have a family.

[00:28:15]But she came here, had a terrible thing happen to her, and then made something beautiful out of it. Yeah. And is using it to help other people, and I mean, that really is the American dream. Yeah.

[00:28:30]Um after his trial, John went on to have a short-lived porn career and was a recurring guest on the Howard Stern Show. No pun intended.

[00:28:41]Short. [laughter] He's such a classy guy.

[00:28:47]He now lives in Sarasota, Florida. Of course he lives in Florida.

[00:28:52]Uh, in the years since John has been arrested [clears throat] several times and served jail time for violence against two different women.

[00:29:00]Mhm.

[00:29:02]He has denied those allegations. During an April 2024 interview with The Sun, John revealed that he was diagnosed with toxic peripheral polyneuropathy, a condition linked to his time at Camp Lejeune Lejeune, uh, a notorious military base in North Carolina where the water was severely contaminated in the 1980s.

[00:29:27]John claims that the condition caused him to develop both nerve damage and osteo- myelitis, a bone infection that leads to ulcers and requires skin grafts.

[00:29:39]In 2023, he had his remaining toes amputated, which he said left him unable to work.

[00:29:47]The former Marine also attributes the downfall of his marriage to Lorena to the side effects of the contamination at Lejeune. "I wasn't behaving the way I should have," he told The Sun. "Maybe I would have made better decisions if my cognitive functioning wasn't distorted by the chemicals."

[00:30:06]So, did you abuse her? Did and it was the chemicals or did you not abuse her?

[00:30:12]Mhm. As you said previously that it didn't.

[00:30:17]All right, so we have a little issue.

[00:30:20]That's the end of my story. Uh-oh.

[00:30:25]Raffi. Oh my god, the dog.

[00:30:28]Um, and they're they're running the go-karts right now, too. So. So, we're going to have a little short one this this Probably. I was trying to find I thought I heard somewhere that Howard Stern came out and apologized to her.

[00:30:41]Um, he may have. I feel like after his fame, he really regretted a lot of the things that he did. It said the chat GPT said around 2019, Stern discussed his shift away from his shock jock persona citing therapy and a desire to make amends for past behavior. Though he did not issue a specific public apology to Lorena.

[00:31:04]But I feel like he has spoken about it and has said that he I don't like Howard Stern. I don't either. I never did. No, I never did either. Um but I think a lot of this I think he has changed some and has gone back on a lot of [ __ ] >> think he got caught up in the fame and in hindsight, he thinks a lot of that stuff wasn't such a great idea.

[00:31:35]Yeah, I think so, too. And not to toot him, but you know, people can people can grow. They can. Give credit where credit is due. Yeah.

[00:31:46]I don't know a whole lot about him. I just I thought I had heard it in one of the one of the many um podcasts that I listened to about the the situation and Mhm. Mhm. It's just It's just so unfortunate that you know I mean, I guess we are getting better about it.

[00:32:09]Um believing women and Mhm.

[00:32:14]I said better.

[00:32:16]Okay. It's a low bar.

[00:32:18]>> [laughter] >> True.

[00:32:20]Like believing any women would be a Like doing absolutely [ __ ] nothing Mhm. is where we were. Yeah. And you know, like the half step up to Mhm.

[00:32:33]sometimes we do [ __ ] correctly. Yep.

[00:32:37]Yep.

[00:32:38]But it's you know it's such a I I am glad that we no longer think like well when women are being abused or you know they say they come out and they say that I was being abused we're no longer like why the [ __ ] did you stay? Like what is wrong with like what Yes.

[00:33:01]Because that's sometimes there's no other option. Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees and sometimes there you don't these men you know it is very easy to be beaten down physically and mentally so that you are incapable of leaving.

[00:33:28]Well, yeah and not only that but there's not only the threat that he will kill you but a lot of men do kill. The most dangerous time is when you're trying to leave. Yes.

[00:33:39]And it happens a lot.

[00:33:42]A lot. And not just kill like there there's the woman that had acid thrown in her face in the middle of of a AT&T store and you know gasoline and set on fire and you know in public in the middle of a a street. Because these men be get become so enraged they don't even know what's going on around them. Their whole focus is just on hurting this person.

[00:34:07]And they're so they're so empowered.

[00:34:11]Mhm.

[00:34:12]And that's part of the problem too is that you know of course not all men.

[00:34:17]Right.

[00:34:18]>> Um but but a lot of these men are so empowered to do whatever the [ __ ] they want because they've gotten away with it.

[00:34:27]Exactly.

[00:34:28]Exactly. That that is the big problem right. That's the other huge problem of not believing women is that when the woman does finally find the strength to say something and they poopoo her and he's gotten away with it like why wouldn't he continue and get worse? Yeah.

[00:34:50]Nothing's going to happen and and you see that in people all over the place.

[00:34:54]And you see it in spoiled kids, you know, no consequences, they're just going to do whatever they want. Yep.

[00:35:00]President keeps breaking the law, nobody does anything, keeps doing it. Keep doing it. Why not?

[00:35:05]Have you watched the Netflix documentary The Crash? Speaking of.

[00:35:10]I did. Wow. Did you watch Oh my god, I just watched it two nights ago.

[00:35:18]That that and that's the that's the other side of the coin. Like, you know what, you know, it for women that get abused, the other side of that coin is men who get abused and are not believed at all. Yeah, I mean, no one had any idea that kid was being abused. It's a thing. It's a [ __ ] It's that >> Friends, family, no. And the dad was even crying like I can't believe he didn't Oh, no, it was his brother-in-law. I can't believe he didn't say anything, but I almost didn't watch that show. I was like how are they going to prove this was her fault? This is dumb. I'm not going to watch it. Like but then I was like, I'll just turn it on. I was engrossed and like, what in the world? And her parents, like, what the I mean, and that's that is the epitome of entitled.

[00:36:10]They let her do whatever she wanted.

[00:36:13]No consequences ever. You never did Oh, you were bad in school. Were you really bad in school? No, I believe her. Yep.

[00:36:22]Yep. Yep. Okay, first of all, what kid is not bad in school? We were all bad in school. We're all had terrible days and we all did terrible things and Yes.

[00:36:33]Our brains weren't developed yet. We made stupid decisions.

[00:36:36]It's literally every kid.

[00:36:38]That's the one thing um I I have to watch the There's a Hulu documentary also that apparently is a little bit more in-depth than the Netflix.

[00:36:47]Um But one of the things I did want to say about her was um I understand why the judge didn't give her a longer sentence. Mhm. Um and why I think maybe she shouldn't have been charged as an adult.

[00:37:07]Um Because of the underdeveloped brain.

[00:37:10]Exactly. Like Mhm. Yes, she was a spoiled rotten brat.

[00:37:15]Yes, she was a horrible person, but she was 17. Yes.

[00:37:21]Yes.

[00:37:22]>> And the thought process First of all, you don't have the ability to understand that your actions leading to someone's death is final.

[00:37:37]Right.

[00:37:39]And I do think she meant to kill herself as well. Do you?

[00:37:42]I do.

[00:37:44]Although there was a lot more damage on that side of the car, but I think in her little brain underdeveloped, wrecking that car was going to take her out, too.

[00:37:54]I don't even know if she meant to kill anybody.

[00:37:57]I don't even if know if she realized in the rage that she was in the consequences of her actions.

[00:38:07]But I think the only reason I'm good with her being in there as long as she is, well, not the only reason, but she never admitted to anything. No. I mean, not even close. And then even the mom when she got up there and was doing her final plea, the judge was like, I don't hear anything about the families who lost their loved ones here. You're just talking about her.

[00:38:31]And then the poor mom I I actually felt kind of bad for because you can't really judge her on that. Your kids getting ready to go to jail. Like that would be crazy. But then she just kept saying the two boys names. Like she wasn't saying like if they were just you could tell she was just not even thinking clearly.

[00:38:49]But the dad of the friend, not the boyfriend.

[00:38:55]Um Right.

[00:38:57]I didn't care much for him in in some of the stuff, but he was definitely the more mature parent, the more responsible parent.

[00:39:06]Um and I forgot what I was going to say about him.

[00:39:12]I've been talking so long my brain is like, what is happening here? [laughter] You're supposed to be laying on the couch staring at the TV right now.

[00:39:20]>> [clears throat] >> Um man, he had said something at the end.

[00:39:25]I I just think um she obviously did it intentionally. Like whether she meant to kill them or not, it was intentional. And I think the I think I understand the thought behind doing the bench trial instead of a jury trial.

[00:39:48]Because that jury trial could have gone either way. Like there was like a She had a better chance with a jury trial just because she was pretty. I mean and unfortunately that gets you a role. And she would have been sitting there being pretty with those big doe eyes and crying and somebody would have taken sympathy on her. I just >> just it. I just wasn't having it. The the reasonable doubt that she meant to do it would have been I think where the jury could have Mhm. Like I said, that jury could have gone either way. I think the bench trial was a bad idea because the reasonable doubt was removed when they said the car had been put into neutral and then back out. Yes.

[00:40:33]That was those boys trying to put that car in neutral and her putting it back into drive. Yep.

[00:40:40]>> That That was the intent right there.

[00:40:43]Yep.

[00:40:44]Exactly.

[00:40:46]Yeah, and the fact that she I mean just you it's done. Like you can't be recharged.

[00:40:52]Tell the families what happened. Like they want to know what the final seconds of their children's lives were.

[00:40:58]You know, and exactly what went down.

[00:41:01]But yeah, it was it was really, really sad. It was sad.

[00:41:07]>> mom. Just Oh, I remember that dad he he really did not like her parents.

[00:41:15]Um I don't think anybody did. No. But when he was >> [laughter] >> Yeah. But when he was like, I just he said they're not doing her any good pumping her up for the next 15 years telling her she did absolutely nothing wrong. She doesn't deserve to be there.

[00:41:30]The system was against her.

[00:41:34]He's like, when she gets out, she's going to be worse.

[00:41:37]Yeah.

[00:41:39]Cuz she I've I've seen a lot of people on Tik Tok that were in jail with her at the time and apparently this jail is um not like a max security.

[00:41:50]The one girl kind of called it camp cupcake. Okay.

[00:41:53]>> And um you can you can buy like gift boxes to give them. Like family can send in and it's like through a third party. Mhm.

[00:42:04]>> And you can like makeup and like all kinds of But I think I think women's prisons are a little bit more relaxed than men's prisons to begin with.

[00:42:17]Um So, [snorts] the one girl said, you know, it's not hard time. She said it's uncomfortable time, but it's not hard time. Right.

[00:42:28]>> So, especially the lifestyle she came from.

[00:42:32]Yeah. Where she had what she wanted when she wanted Yeah. at all times.

[00:42:38]>> the whole situation it's just a very unfortunate thing and and like I said, it is the flip side of the coin. You know, men get abused, too, and It is. and they get they get taken seriously less than women and but we have to do better there, too.

[00:42:58]We do. I thought it was very powerful in her trial when they showed the video of her screaming and trying to break down the door and he was just staying calm, you know, like please stop, like Yeah.

[00:43:10]stop doing this. You know, he she was clearly the violent one.

[00:43:16]And he was clearly calm. And he wasn't recording that to prove anything. I think he was on the phone with his mom or something at the time. Yeah.

[00:43:25]So, yeah, I the thing that struck me as funny though when she talked at the end, she developed a thug voice real fast.

[00:43:33]>> Uh-huh. And it's so And it's so different. I was like, what?

[00:43:37]The one girl on Tik Tok was like, that's not who she was when I was in there with her.

[00:43:44]>> [laughter] >> So, apparently she's learned something somewhere. Oh, lord. It's just it's, you know, with with with any and all domestic violence, the whole it's just so unfortunate and you know, this is a person that you trust. You sleep next to this person.

[00:44:07]Mhm. You know, and then to to have to come to terms with the fact that, you know, you're you're not in a safe environment or whatever whatever. It it's just Yes.

[00:44:23]Yep. It's very unfortunate. Yes.

[00:44:27]And we need to We need to do better as a as a nation.

[00:44:31]Yes, as a society. Yes, we need to be more supportive.

[00:44:37]I don't know what the answer is. Like some people are just evil. They just are. They're awful awful.

[00:44:46]Their brains are broken, you know, and Like you said, it is hard. When you're in it, you can't see out of it.

[00:44:54]You can't see a solution. Like this is just your life now. And it happens gradually, too. Yeah. So by the time it is so bad, you don't even realize what's happened.

[00:45:05]Well, you're financially, you know, it's it's financial, it's emotional, it's physical, it's it's everything. So, you know, you can't get >> shame.

[00:45:17]It's shame. You have to admit to people that you have been in this relationship, that you've been being abused, that you're scared. And you Like you said, people are why didn't you leave?

[00:45:30]It's not that easy. Well, and then that's That's where we need to do better as a society. We need to say, don't be ashamed of That's not your fault. It's not It's not It's not your fault. It's something that someone else did to you.

[00:45:47]That's it. And we should be more supportive and empowering to women and men who have been abused to to say, you know, you are brave for leaving. You are brave for telling someone. You know, you are brave for staying knowing that any minute could be the last. Now we're going to have [ __ ] up. The dog is now going to have things up.

[00:46:12]I can't hear it, so.

[00:46:14]>> Okay. Maybe now I can hear it.

[00:46:16]>> [laughter] >> But yeah, I think that's as a society what we need to do. We need to learn how to empower people and not and not add to their issues by well, why didn't you leave? Well, you know, good for you for for talking about it and good for you for, you know, taking a step, any step at all.

[00:46:44]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:46:46]Yeah, and I actually read something in the past few weeks of a lot. So, that's now what I read was what I want to say is people are feel weak or feel like they're going to be seen as weak or they are seen as weak when they're in the these positions. But I read an article a few weeks ago that men, well, probably women, too. They actually pick stronger-willed people because you have to be strong to be able to put up with that. Right. So, a weak person is just going to crumble.

[00:47:23]Like they're not going to handle it, but somebody strong who's either had previous trauma or, you know, is able to take these little things and keep going. Right.

[00:47:34]>> And stay strong. Like so, you actually it's a sign of you being a strong person if you've been chosen, unfortunately, by Right.

[00:47:42]>> by an abuser. So, yeah, it's it's very interesting when you get into the psychology of all of it. Yeah, it's just it's it's we just need to do better as I'm just going to keep saying that. I'm going to name this episode do [ __ ] better or something like that.

[00:47:56]>> I'll go for it. Just >> [snorts] >> I don't know. I I have been lucky enough to never have to have dealt dealt with that, you know, I've never um but I know I've worked with people who have used our safe at the restaurant to hide money.

[00:48:18]Um I walked her significant other right the [ __ ] out the door. Mhm. With his little tiny punk ass. Mhm. Explaining to him how maybe he should try taking on someone his own size and then I would be more than happy >> [laughter] >> to pony up.

[00:48:40]Um and of course like the little pathetic weakling piece of [ __ ] he walked right out the door. I backed him right the [ __ ] out the door. Mhm. Um because you know, um and of course my opinion is if you abuse a woman, then you should have to go on TV and go rounds with a professional female boxer, but you know.

[00:49:01]>> Ooh. That should be your punishment.

[00:49:03]Let's Let's humiliate these people on [ __ ] TV. Like Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

[00:49:08]I don't know what the answer is because obviously um trying someone and putting them in jail, they come back out and they just do it to somebody else and Yeah.

[00:49:19]I don't know what the answer is it is.

[00:49:22]Mhm.

[00:49:23]>> you how you stop these people from from being like this. Mhm. But we really need to find Yes.

[00:49:31]find the answer there. Mhm.

[00:49:34]Yep. I agree.

[00:49:37]So, that's our social commentary for Do [ __ ] Do [ __ ] better. Do [ __ ] better.

[00:49:48]>> [laughter] >> All right. Well, we're going to let poor Nicole go back to bed. Yes.

[00:49:53]And yeah. So, sorry about the sound, everybody. Yeah. Hopefully this episode airs. If not, Yeah. it'll be our little secret.

[00:50:05]>> [laughter] >> The game that never was. Yeah.

[00:50:10]So, you can like, share, rate, review.

[00:50:12]Uh-huh.

[00:50:13]Uh you can find us on all the socials.

[00:50:16]Uh-huh. Uh like whatever pod. Um you can go to TikTok and uh listen to me talk about Halara leggings. Yes.

[00:50:26]You can go to our website Uh-huh. uh www.likewhateverpod.com.

[00:50:35]Okay. Uh-huh. Um you can go and read more about all the great domestic violence charities and um helplines.

[00:50:46]Yes.

[00:50:47]And you can send us an email about how you would punish someone who abuses Nice.

[00:50:58]a significant other Yeah.

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[00:51:08]Bye.

[00:51:09]>> Bye.

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