This video demonstrates how collective action and community organizing can effectively address shared problems, as shown through the tenants' successful rent strike that forced their landlord to make necessary repairs. The story illustrates that when community members unite with a common goal and maintain persistence, they can overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles, even when facing powerful opponents. The key lesson is that organized, collective action creates greater power than individual efforts, and that communities can achieve their goals through strategic planning, unified messaging, and sustained commitment to their cause.
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[NEW] What's Happening!! 2026 First Class Coach What's Happening!! Full Episode
Added:[music] [music] [music] [music] >> Wow, that was some great meal, D. Hey, I can't believe they taught you to cook like this in home economics.
Me, neither. That's why I wanted to try it out on you guys.
Well, I give you an A+.
An A+? Yeah, an A for what I ate, plus I'm READY FOR DESSERT.
>> [laughter] >> AND HERE IT IS, BLUEBERRY PIE.
BEAUTIFUL.
What are they GOING TO HAVE?
>> [laughter] >> YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO BE FASTER THAN A RERUN. YEAH, faster than a speeding bullet. Able to eat tall pizzas in A SINGLE BITE.
>> [laughter] >> IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE? NO, IT'S SUPERMOUTH.
>> [laughter] >> HI, SWEET CAKES. HI, sugar cakes.
>> [laughter] >> HI, GUYS.
HI, WHAT'S GOING ON, LITTLE EARL? WHAT'S with the outfit? This is my basketball warm-up suit, not that I need it. We'll see in the room. I warm up anyway.
>> [laughter] >> You play basketball on whose shoulders?
Look, baby, I may be short, but we're all short. Our school has a small fry league, and I'm in it.
Oh, that's great to hear, Little Earl.
Hi, guys. What has going on, Little Earl? You know, I was a great basketball player when I was your age. I had a feel of the court. And the shape of the ball.
>> [laughter] >> Sit down and finish my pie before it's all gone.
Gee, all those good looks and she can cook, too.
>> [laughter] >> Hey little Earl, what team do you play for?
The Tigers.
Sounds like fun. It's the pits. What?
All we do is practice, practice, and more practice. Well, it can be rough, little Earl, but you have to practice a lot if you expect to win. But that's just it. We don't win. We get killed.
We've lost every game.
Sounds like to me you've got a rotten coach. Who is the turkey?
My dad.
>> [laughter] >> Great coach, great.
I don't know if he's great, but he sure is tough.
That must be dad. We're going to practice.
Hey Detective Burnett.
>> That's Coach Burnett.
Hi.
Hi guys, D. What's going on, girl?
>> Why don't you fellows open a window? Get some fresh air in here. That's the secret of staying fit. Plenty of deep breathing, plenty of exercise, proper diet. I Son, what's that slop you're eating?
Slop. It's these blueberry pie. Oh, sorry, D. Son, no pie before practice, huh? Okay, Dad. That's Coach. And you just got yourself an extra two laps around the gym.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, gee. Mhm. GOOD SLOP, D.
>> [laughter] >> HEY DWAYNE, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE A PRETTY DARN good basketball player. Is that true? Oh, I don't know. Oh, he's great.
He's just being modest.
>> Oh, no. Yeah, he's been one of the high point men at Jefferson High for the last two years. So what? Who cares? He has a 20-point average. That's 22, Rod.
Hey Dwayne, I'd like you to do me a favor. See, I'm working on a stakeout downtown. We're trying to break up a hijacking operation, and the department needs every man it can get. Oh, well, I'll do whatever I can long as I don't have to shoot anybody.
No, no, Dwayne. What I'm trying to say is that I'll be tied up for a while, and I'd like you to fill in for me as coach.
Wow, me a coach? I don't know. I play basketball, but I don't know that much about coaching.
You couldn't hurt anything. WE'RE OWEN SIX.
>> [laughter] >> NOW, IT'S THAT KIND OF ATTITUDE THAT KEEPS us from winning. Sorry, Dad.
Coach.
>> [laughter] >> What do you say, Dwayne? You can come down to practice, watch us, and I'll show you my system. Should be a breeze.
How about it, Dwayne?
It could be an interesting opportunity.
And fun, too.
How about it, Dwayne? Will you do it?
Okay, Coach. It's a deal.
>> Hey, all right. Thanks, Coach. Well, let's get going. Idle hands never won a basketball game. Come on, Tiger. Up and at 'em. Can't have you standing around here getting soft. Hey, how about you guys? You want to come along? No, thanks, Big Earl, but I'm not that wild about basketball.
>> [snorts] >> Me, neither. Besides, they have to stay here and help me with the dishes, clean the house, and take out the garbage.
Well, small fry basketball sounds very interesting, right? Yeah, [laughter] as a matter of fact, it's my favorite sport. I love watching tiny little people dribbling.
Hold it.
Before you skip out, there's one more course to the meal.
Hey, I think I still got a little room left.
What is it?
The check.
>> [laughter] >> CAN IT.
>> [laughter] >> ALL RIGHT, DWAYNE. THAT'S THE WAY TO RUN A PRACTICE. You ever see all that energy before? Such pep. You see him passing the ball around? Okay, Tigers. Let's look alive. Come on, hustle in.
>> [laughter] >> All right, team. Good practice session.
[laughter] Good good But next time, I'd like to see a little more hustle out there. I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS. THOSE 20 LAPS DID IT. HEY, watch how I handle this.
Hey, okay team, look alive. I What is it, Winslow?
Yeah, but make it snappy, WILL YOU?
>> [laughter] >> OKAY, NOW SOME OF YOU MEN WERE DOGGING IT OUT THERE DURING the wind sprints, especially you, Barnett. I got a charley horse. Where? ALL OVER MY BODY.
>> [laughter] >> GOOD. REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU? WHEN THE going gets rough, the body gets tough.
You might want to remember that, Dwayne.
Oh, yeah, that was a good one.
Okay, now some of you men were messing up my plays out there, especially you, Eddie. I made two baskets. Yeah, two out of 73.
Look, there are no stars on my team.
Stars get the name, but teams win the game.
Okay, hurry it up, Winslow. Get in here cuz I've got some I got some news for you guys. I got good news and bad news.
First, the bad news.
I'm not going to be here FOR A WHILE.
>> [laughter] [laughter] >> NOW, THE GOOD NEWS.
WAYNE HERE IS GOING TO TAKE OVER FOR ME.
GREAT.
GOOD, YOU LIKE HIM. HEY, LISTEN NOW.
DON'T THINK that just because I'm not going to be here that things are going to be easy. Dwayne's going to run practice the same WAY I DO.
>> [laughter] >> COACH NELSON, TAKE OVER.
Where's um Dwayne? Um he hasn't been around in a couple of days.
>> Oh, he's been busy all week. He's uh coaching Little Earl's basketball team.
Hey, that's great. I always knew that Dwayne would be good around little kids.
>> Yeah, I think it's wonderful, you know, working with youngsters, teaching them Hey, HEY, HEY.
HEY, WHAT IS THIS? THE INVASION OF THE ANT PEOPLE?
ROB, GET MY TEAM over there anything they want. It's on me. Yes, sir, coach.
You want me TO DO 10 PUSH-UPS FIRST? I'M SORRY, ROB. I guess I'm getting used to bossing people around. Would you please see what the team would like? And you're a paying, right, coach? Yeah, it may blow my whole allowance, but they deserve it.
>> [laughter] >> Hi, doll baby. Hi, little Laura.
I got something real special for you. A present.
>> [laughter] >> Wow, a torn sneaker. Something I've always wanted. Thanks.
>> [laughter] >> This is not any old torn sneaker. This is the team sneaker. It has the autograph of every single player on the team. There's mine.
>> [laughter] >> A team sneaker? I'm flattered. I've never been given one before. I knew you'd love it. Someday you can hang it from your car mirror.
>> [laughter] >> Thanks a lot.
It's nothing. It's just something a jock does to impress a beautiful chick. You know what I mean.
>> [laughter] [laughter] >> Hey guys, what's up? Hey, coach. Hey, it seems like your team is pretty loose.
Well, I hope so. Tomorrow night's their big game.
Tomorrow night? Shouldn't they be practicing? Hey, well, the guys are tired, man. The game is supposed to be fun. How can they have fun if they're tired? So, I gave them the day off. Keep them loose.
Hey, you better not tell Big Earl, or he'll blow his top and his whistle. Hey, Reuben. I can't do it Big Earl's way.
I've got my own system.
You mean there's more than one way to coach 9-year-olds? Sure. Dwayne's way they'll live to be 10.
Keep them loose right there.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS!
>> [cheering] >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS! SEE, I TOLD YOU. IF WE JUST STAYED LOOSE, WE'D WIN.
YAY!
COACH NELSON, YOU DID IT! ALL RIGHT.
>> THREE CHEERS FOR COACH NELSON!
YAY! DWAYNE! GO! [screaming] GO! GO!
ALL RIGHT. YEAH.
BUT GUYS, GUYS, GO, GO. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP.
HELLO, SPORTS FANS.
I'm here in the winners' locker room.
>> [laughter] >> The mood of these superbly conditioned athletes can only be described as jubilant.
>> [laughter] >> I'm going to try and weave my way through the crusty crowd >> [laughter] >> and try to get a word in with the coach.
Coach Nelson.
Tell this reporter in your own words what the key to this closely fought vicious victory was.
Getting through the game without any of the kids having to go TO THE BATHROOM.
>> [laughter] >> YAY! WINSLOW!
YAY! WINSLOW! GO! GO! GO!
THANK YOU.
WE'RE NUMBER ONE!
WE'RE NUMBER ONE!
HOLD IT, PAL. THIS IS THE PLAYERS' LOCKER ROOM HERE. HERE'S A DIME. Go get yourself A NOURISHING MEAL.
>> [laughter] >> HEY, IT'S ME, GREAT GOING, GUYS. GREAT GOING.
>> SPEAKING OF GOING, GOING, >> IT'S BIG EARL. OH, this is Great GIVE ME MY DIME BACK.
RON, IS THAT YOU IN THERE? OH, YES, ANNA, IT'S ME. I had to rush right over from the stakeout. I didn't have time to change. WE WON, DAD. WE WON!
>> I KNOW. I CAUGHT THE LAST FEW MINUTES.
YOU GUYS WERE GREAT. JUST GREAT. GREAT.
You too, Winslow.
Hey, see, I told you all that hard work would pay off. Hey, Dwayne, thanks a lot. That was some fine job.
>> it was nothing.
>> I know, but thanks anyway.
>> [laughter] >> Hey guys, good news. I'll be finished with the stakeout tomorrow night, and then I'll be back.
Hey Dwayne, listen. I want you to feel free to come by anytime. If you like, you can sit on the bench, huh?
Oh wow, look at the time. I have to run.
Uh fellas, listen. Now, I want you to take five laps, do 20 push-ups, and half a dozen deep KNEE BENDS, HUH?
AND NOW, THAT OUGHT TO BE ENOUGH. You had a hard day. [laughter] Come on, Winslow, I'll drive you home. You can do your push-ups in the backseat.
Hey fellas, I'll see the rest of you next week, and then we can start some real practice, huh? It's going to be work, work, work. Together we can go all the way.
Come here, guys.
Well, it was fun while it lasted. You were a great coach, coach.
>> Yeah, you should be proud of yourself, Dwayne.
Hey guys, congratulations. We had a ball, huh?
Coach, you can stay, man. We don't want you to go. Nah, I have to. No, you don't.
Well, sure I do. You heard Coach Barnett. He'll be back next week. No, he won't.
What? Yeah, regular coach now. We voted him out.
>> [laughter] >> You mean you voted Little Earl's dad out? That's right. We don't want him anymore.
Oh, WOW. THAT'S GREAT.
>> [applause] >> MAN, WHAT A MESS. HOW DO YOU TELL A DAD that his son's team doesn't want him, and then tell his son that his teammates decided to dump his dad? Man.
You need help.
>> [snorts] >> Yeah. From someone with a way with words. Someone with a gift for gab.
A diplomat.
I think I can handle it for you.
Hey, thanks, Vera. Don't mention it.
Go to it, Rod.
I like you, Howard Cosell.
Uh but Dwayne, if you want me to speak to Big Earl, I don't mind.
Hey, thanks, Rod. But what are you going to say to him?
Uh I'll think of something.
Well, you better start thinking. That's probably them now.
Hi, Little Earl. What's going on, Little Earl?
Hey, Little Earl.
Come on in, Dad. DON'T BE SHY.
>> [laughter] >> SORRY, MA'AM. WE GAVE AT THE OFFICE.
OKAY, LOOK. Just don't make fun of the disguise, huh? It's bad enough being pinched by cab drivers.
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, BIG EARL.
NO, WAIT A MINUTE. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Something's all wrong. The purse is too big.
>> Yeah. You know, I had a little beaded one that was just lovely, but it was too small for my lipstick and blackjack.
I wish the guys on the team could see him now.
Hey, hey Big Earl. Can I talk to you for a minute? It's about something really important.
>> Uh can't it wait, Rod? I'll be off duty in a couple of hours, and I'd really rather talk to you when I'M IN PANTS.
HEY, TERRIFIC. Thanks a lot. I'm due back on stakeout. Hey Dwayne, I just dropped over to find out if you could cover practice for me one more day. Oh, yeah, sure, Rod. Terrific. Thanks a lot.
Hey, you wouldn't mind taking Little Earl along, would you? No, not at all.
>> Good. Listen, give the team a good stiff workout cuz I'll be back tomorrow. You will? Yeah. So, keep them running, keep them moving, jumping. Oh, have Eddie work on his jump shot.
Oh, crap.
There goes my pantyhose.
I'll see YOU GUYS LATER.
>> [applause] >> ROD, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM. TELL HIM WHAT, DWAYNE? HUH? OH, NOTHING.
Nothing at all. It's about my dad, isn't it? Yeah, that's right. It is about your dad. I know you're worried about me being raised by a man in a dress.
>> [laughter] >> No, that's not it, Laura. Hey, I mean, you like Dwayne as a coach, don't you?
Yeah, he's terrific. Yeah, well, you know, the rest of the team feels the same way you do. I know.
And that's why they don't want you anymore.
What?
>> [laughter] >> Uh that's why they voted Dwayne in as the new coach. They did what?
They voted Dwayne in as the new coach.
What about Dad?
They voted him out, Laura.
Hey, look, little Laura. I tried to talk him out of it, but they wouldn't listen.
I can't believe they did that.
Don't take it so hard, little Laura.
They didn't know what they were doing.
They're just a bunch of little kids.
Hey, where are you going? Back upstairs.
Wait, what about practice?
I want to be alone for a while.
Poor little kid.
Hey, look, Raj. I got to do something.
No, you tried, Dwayne. There's not much more you can do.
Maybe there is, Raj.
56, 57, 58, 59, Winslow, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66 Hey, what's happening?
Oh, Winslow, take a break. Take a break.
Hey, what's the matter with you guys?
You're getting soft or something? Soft?
You kidding? This is the toughest practice we've ever had. Coach, can't we quit now? Quit? This is only the beginning. Look at you, Danny. You're in bad shape. Look at all that flab around your middle. Coach, I'm 9 years old.
IT'S BABY FAT.
>> [laughter] >> KNOCK IT OFF, DANNY. Just remember, you'll never be a winner, fellow, if you let your body turn to Jell-O.
Help me, coach. You're killing us. Last week you were cat.
>> That's when you were losers. Now you're on a winning streak, one in a row.
All right, let's go team. Look alive.
Come on, tigers.
67, 68, HI GUYS. Hey Earl, what's up?
You're late, little Earl. Put on your uniform and do 20 laps. Not anymore, coach. I'm quitting. I just came here to clear out my locker. Hey Earl, you can't quit. Yeah, you're our only substitute.
>> Coach Nelson's running our legs off.
>> Come on, Earl. You got to stay.
>> We need you. Well, I'm quitting anyways.
I can't play on the team right after you got rid of my father. Look, Earl. We liked your father, okay? But he was a rotten coach. Maybe he was, but at least he was here. When we needed a coach, he volunteered. I didn't see any of your dads around here. Well, mine is busy. I mean, he would have done it if he had time. Yeah, well my dad's a cop. He's on call night and day. But he found time.
What was your dad, Danny?
Well, busy.
I mean, well, you know. Yeah, I know.
Look, me and my dad weren't so perfect, but at least he came out here to help us and he did his best.
>> He was too tough, Earl. So maybe he got a little carried away, but he tried. And remember, the play he gave us won the GAME FOR US.
>> [applause] >> HEY COACH, WE HAVE A MINUTE?
OKAY. Time out. You got 30 seconds.
That's long enough. Okay, now here it is. Push-ups. I JUST WANT ONE MINUTE, COACH.
>> ALL RIGHT, hurry it up cuz we have to try our new stretching exercises. I want you all 6 inches TALLER BY SATURDAY.
>> [laughter] >> HEY BIG EARL, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE TEAM.
>> YEAH, they're a bunch of kids, aren't they, Rod? Of course they lack discipline, but that's my job.
>> Yeah, Big Earl, >> [snorts] >> a lot of times when adults are coaching little kids, they forget they are they are coaching little kids and and not adults.
>> Hey, Roger, I know exactly what you mean. Look, I've seen some of those kiddie league fathers trying to win at any cost, taking all the fun out of the game for the youngsters.
>> Yes.
>> Well, that's why I took over the team. I don't want one of those jerks coaching my kids.
But, see, what I That's what I want to Big Earl.
Cheer up. Don't take it so hard.
Look at me. I always bounce back. I've been thrown out of plenty of things.
Schools, jobs, friends' kitchens, Thrown out? friends' bathrooms, friends' bedrooms. Thrown out? What are you talking about?
You mean you didn't tell him, Raj?
No, Rerun, you did.
Uh-oh, Supermouth [laughter] does it again.
The team decided to vote you out as coach, Big Earl.
What?
Kicked out?
By a bunch of 9-year-olds?
I can't believe it.
Oh, come on, Big Earl. It's not the end of the world.
>> how could they do this to me, Roger?
You know, I was acting like one of those adult jerks.
Yeah. Don't take it so hard, Big Earl.
They're only a bunch of nutty kids.
Yeah, but one of those kids is my own son. Hey, don't worry about that. He knew nothing about them voting you out.
Oh? He just found out a while ago and he took it real hard. He did?
>> Yes.
He's a great little kid, isn't he? Yeah.
Hey, Raj. All right. Hey, guys. Come on in. Good to see you. Hey, how you doing, coach? That's ex-coach, Eddie. Dwayne's your coach now and he's doing a real fine job of it. Uh-oh, I guess you heard. Heard?
Oh, you mean about the vote? Yeah, listen, it's perfectly all right.
It is? Sure. Look, that's what the game is about, to to try and teach you guys to be men. To teach you to have some guts.
I guess I succeeded. You voted me out and that took guts.
>> We didn't mean it. It was a mistake. We want you back.
You do? Yeah! WE WANT YOU BACK! WE WANT YOU BACK! HEY, [laughter] looks like they want you back in, coach.
>> That's right, they're all yours, coach.
How about it, COACH?
>> [laughter] >> ALL RIGHT.
>> [applause] >> THROUGH THAT DOOR INTO THE RIGHT.
>> [laughter] >> I GUESS I'M REALLY BACK.
>> [applause] >> SPEECH! SPEECH!
>> YEAH, SPEECH!
>> [cheering] >> UH WELL, TEAM, uh look, I realize why you voted me out and uh you were right.
Basketball's a sport, it's supposed to be fun.
So, things will BE DIFFERENT.
>> OKAY!
HOWEVER, WE HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT it's not all fun. I mean, we're still a team, huh? And we're still going after that title. So, we're going to have to buckle down, work hard, practice hard, and play hard.
Yes, we will. Come on, Tigers. Let's get started right now.
Yeah, we got some jogging to do. How far? Eight blocks. What? All the way to the soda shop. Come on, I'M BUYING.
HUP, TWO, THREE, FOUR. HUP, TWO, THREE, FOUR. HUP, TWO, THREE, FOUR. HUP.
Hey guys, I said I'm buying. I'M RUNNING. HUP, TWO, THREE, FOUR. LIFT THOSE KNEES. LIFT THOSE KNEES.
HUP, TWO, THREE, FOUR. HUP, TWO, THREE, FOUR. [laughter] HUP.
WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO? WAIT FOR ME!
>> [applause] [music] [music] >> AH!
>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [applause] >> SHIRLEY, WHAT'S NEW ON THE MENU? WELL, LET ME tell you what's new. Let's see here. Oh, there's a greasy spot over here.
>> [laughter] >> And the new ketchup here, that was yesterday. I can just wipe that off.
See?
And then somebody put a coffee ring here. And this was new. I don't know Yes, it Yeah, I did.
I got that. Here you go. Uh I'll have a burger, well done. Okay. Make it two.
Two. You got any chicken cacciatore?
Make it three. [laughter] Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
Dwayne, it's only a couple of high school girls. Let's relax. Be cool. It's nothing.
No, it's not nothing.
>> [laughter] >> Something two great something. Good try, Nelson. Right?
>> Well, wait. How'd you know my name?
Everybody knows you, Dwayne. You're very popular.
Your dad's a city councilman.
You're on the basketball team. And you're cute.
So, that's how you know me.
Is it okay if we join you? I'll get you a couple of chairs. Oh, here. Take my seat. Wait, BOTH OF CHAIR. HERE YOUR CHAIRS.
I'm Lisa. This is Cindy. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
HI.
>> [laughter] >> HI.
HI. HI. HI.
WHAT Y'ALL GOING TO HAVE, DEAR? Uh two sodas for the ladies.
Uh listen, you don't pay for this? You [laughter] kidding me?
Am I kidding? You see me laughing, baby?
I want cash.
>> [laughter] >> Cash?
Are you hearing your doctor? All right.
Dwayne, do you know Henry Wilson? Yeah, he's in my home room. He's the funny-looking guy, the one who looked like Leon Spinks, except he had his teeth fixed. Now he looks like Leon Spinks with a tooth job.
>> [laughter] >> He's my brother. Oh, I love his teeth.
He's such a cute [laughter] boy.
He was running for student body president. Was? He dropped out. Too many dental appointments. Oh, that's too bad.
Now we're stuck with nobody to support.
Yeah. Here's the plan. Dwayne, you're popular and people like you. Yeah.
That's why you'd be perfect to run for student body president. Oh, hey ladies, that sounds great, but I don't know anything about being a president. Well, look here, neither does Jimmy Carter, but you don't see us following his lead, DO YOU?
>> [applause] >> WHAT IS IT?
STILL DIRTY. WASH IT AGAIN. HEY, COME ON, SNAKE. Hurry up. Eat faster. We got to clean up this place now.
Hey, Rod.
You invite me over for dinner.
Then you start hustling me out. What's the deal, man? Snake, I don't have time to argue with you. Dwayne and his father coming over. We got to make an impression for Dwayne's sake, okay? Now put the ball down there. Okay, this meal is really great, man. It really beats eating at the soda shop. Going to the electric chair beats at THE SODA SHOP.
>> [applause] >> HEY, D, IT WAS NICE OF YOU TO HELP HIM clean the dishes. Well, it was nice of you to invite me to dinner. Hey, it's my pleasure. And this is my business.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, that's the I I got to I get that Grab it and just refrigerate.
It's good to see a young man strike out on his own. Well, as long as he's not an LA Dodger, you see.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, that's a good one, Dad.
Thank you, son.
>> [laughter] >> No, this really is a lovely place. Uh thank you. It's a little small, but Yeah, they're thinking of knocking out that wall and putting in a real apartment.
Raj, you sure you don't mind showing him around? No, I'll give you a grand tour.
All right. This is the kitchen dining room. This is the dining room living room. This is the living room guest room. Look And this is the guest room then THE SITTING ROOM.
ALL RIGHT.
And what is this?
That's the laundry room.
>> [laughter] >> We did the place up in early American.
Right, but they were only able to go as far back as the Depression.
>> [laughter] >> So, Dad, what do you think?
Well, son, I think if you keep up what you're doing at school, someday you might end up with a place like this.
SOUNDS LIKE A THREAT.
HEY, MR. NELSON, WON'T YOU HAVE A SEAT?
WELL, thank you.
You can change your mind, you know. No, I can't and I won't.
Oh, life can be so hateful sometimes.
Okay, okay, now this is enough of this.
Listen, baby, we don't let space people in here after 6:00, SO YOU CAN >> [laughter] [applause] >> I HAVEN'T SEEN A GUY BORING SINCE JOHN BOY. YEAH.
Uh I don't know if I can go through with this. Shape up, Dwayne. Can't you see that guy was scared of you? He was? I'm sure. See, all you need is a few pointers on debating and in no time at all you'll be taking on that Williams character. But I don't know the first thing about debate.
>> Come here, let me tell you something.
See, debating is just like playing basketball. Yeah? Yeah, you play him one-on-one. See, he tosses you a question, you grab that sucker and you toss it right back to him.
>> Mhm. And then you let him take his best shot. BUT DWAYNE IS AT A smack that ball and then then you just take your best shot. Hey, wait a minute. I think I got it. Let's [laughter] see. I fake left and I fake right and then I do my behind-the-back dribble and I give him a head fake. Ooh, can I get another?
>> And I give him another one.
And I give him another one.
Put it between my legs, fake left, right, go down, drive to the basket, spin and give him my Dr. J's super-duper double slam dunk.
I'M READY.
>> [applause] >> SHOOT ME A QUESTION, SHIRLEY. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS QUESTION? OKAY, now let's see. What is your position um student-faculty relationships?
TIME OUT.
>> [applause] >> DWAYNE. HUH?
LOOK, I DON'T MIND helping you, but you got to pay attention. Oh. Okay. All right. Now, in the opening remarks of debate, it's important to plan what you're going to say ahead of time. Okay. Shoot.
>> [clears throat] >> Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, Go, Dwayne, go.
All right.
Thank you and good night.
>> [laughter] >> That's it? Well, yeah, Rerun. That's all had time to plan. All the time to I get it.
Hey, little Earl. Happy girl.
>> Hey, Dwayne. HEY, LITTLE EARL.
>> [applause] >> HI, SWEET CAKES.
>> [laughter] >> HELLO, LITTLE EARL. WELL, Detective Bonnett, how's the crime business?
Murder.
Well, today's not bad. I got the day off. Uh Where's Rerun? Uh he's working odd hours at ABC.
>> Oh.
Dad and I are going to Disneyland. Want to come with us, baby?
Sorry, little Earl. I'm helping Dwayne and Raj. I'll go. No, you won't.
See, Dwayne is running for student body president.
>> Right. And he's got a big debate to get ready for tomorrow. So, what's the problem? I can't debate.
Well, yeah. Not being able to debate could be a problem.
Especially during a debate.
We felt that, too, baby Earl. Oh, tell me, Dwayne, do you have a good opening remark? Yeah. Hey, okay. Sit down, Earl.
Lay it on us. Come on.
>> [clears throat] [laughter] >> Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen. Good start. Good Great start. Great start. [laughter] And you got an ending? Uh-huh.
Thank you and good night. Dynamite.
Dynamite. You're on a roll. Okay, now what's in the middle? [laughter] That's it. He's got a roll with nothing in the middle.
Yeah, well, Dwayne, why don't you get right to the issues? Now, why should the students elect you their president, huh?
Beats me.
>> [laughter] >> Yeah. Hey, big Earl. You've been a big help, pal, but we'll work it out.
>> Good, cuz we have to go anyway, yeah.
What do you say, D? You sure you can't come with us?
Well, I'm kind of helping It's okay. We can we'll we'll work it out. By the time you come back, Dwayne and I will have a great speech worked out.
Come on, sugar.
We got a ride in Disneyland that's almost as thrilling as you are.
>> [laughter] >> They also have a dog who's almost as goofy as you are.
Good luck, you guys.
>> Okay. ALL RIGHT. TAKE CARE.
>> HAVE FUN NOW. See you later. Okay. AND COME BACK.
>> [laughter] >> RIGHT. FROM THE BEGINNING. OKAY.
>> [clears throat] [laughter] >> OKAY.
DWAYNE. YEAH.
We got a long night ahead of us. All right. All right.
I have to go TO THE BATHROOM.
>> [laughter] >> HI, SHIRLEY. WHAT'S UP? WELL, WHAT ARE YOU doing here? Isn't this supposed to be your big debate night? Yeah, I just thought I'd get there a few days late.
>> [laughter] >> Well, hey, don't be getting all negative now. You said you was going to do it, so you got to do it. So, just get yourself together and go on back to the Oh, Shirley, I'm scared to death.
Yeah, well, you know, I can understand that. Yeah, I was scared doing my first debate back in 1976.
Wait, you were in a debate?
No, no, I was watching one on TV. It was that um >> [laughter] >> What's his name? That Ford and um Carter presidential debate. Why were you scared to watch a presidential debate? Cuz I knew one of them would wind UP PRESIDENT.
NOW, YOU GO ON AND GET OUT OF HERE AND MAKE YOUR DADDY PROUD OF YOU. GO ON.
>> SHIRLEY, can I just stay a few more minutes?
>> Uh-uh, no way. You can't stay here.
Well, I got to at least got to think of something to say first. Wait, wait a minute. You mean you don't know what you're going to say yet? No, see, Raj worked with me half the night, but I'm so nervous I've forgotten it all. Well, see, ain't nothing to it. You just Just stay loose. Just shake it off. See?
Yeah, but what if I'm loose and I sound like a fool? You won't sound like a fool, Turkey. Come on. Yeah, what if I sound like a turkey? You won't sound like a turkey, fool.
>> [laughter] >> Listen, speech making is easy. All you have to do is just be yourself, and your father will very proud of you. Your mama will be there too, you know. Uh-huh. And you know she's pulling for you. Uh-huh.
And so it is. Shouldn't be a problem, right? Uh-uh.
>> Uh-uh. Yeah, that's right.
See, all you need is a little self-confidence. See, you just got to keep telling yourself you got it. Just keep saying, "I got it. I got it." Let me hear baby. "I got >> I got it. Louder.
>> I got it.
>> I got it. I got it.
>> I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.
Keep saying it. I GOT IT.
NOW, YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO GET IT, DON'T YOU?
KEEP SAYING IT. "I GOT IT." YEAH, I GOT IT.
I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
>> [laughter] >> HE SAID HE'D MEET US HERE.
>> SWEETHEART, DON'T WORRY. He's probably doing some extra research. Oh, there he is.
I got it. I got it. I got TO HAVE MY >> [applause] >> SEE, LITTLE EARL?
CALL ME KID.
KID.
That kills me. He's just like Lauren Bacall talking to Humphrey Bogart.
I rolled a five and a four. I moved this one five and this one four. Got it?
I got it.
Okay, you go. I go what?
You go, kid. Got it, baby.
Double sixes.
Double sixes.
I don't believe it. The only possible way you could have won and you did it.
[laughter] No way in the world could you have beat me.
A brand new player and you win.
This game is dumb. It's not skill, it's pure luck.
Dumb, dumb, DUMB.
>> [laughter] >> DWAYNE, LET'S STOP. WE'VE PLAYED four games already. We'll play till I win one.
Set them up, kids.
Right on.
YOU KNOW, RAJ, YOU'RE RIGHT. Give me an older woman every time.
Yeah, you just SET THEM UP.
>> [applause] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> HEY, HEY, SHIRLEY. SHIRLEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE other half?
>> [music] >> Well, it's only 3:00. I got so busy, I didn't have time for lunch.
HEY, WOULD SOMEBODY TELL me what all those kids are doing here? Oh, well, that couple over there is doing the riot. Mhm. Yeah. And over there, they're doing a real nice hustle. And they're doing the spank over there. Mhm. Dwayne.
Dwayne, can you eat and talk at the same time? Huh? No. Good.
>> [laughter] >> I'll tell you what they're doing here, Shirley. here because they have no place else to go. Our teen center closed down cuz they ran out of money. Oh, they ran out?
That's right. So, the kids elected me head of the committee to raise money for our teen center. Well, they certainly chose the right person for the job because D stands [music] FOR DOLLAR.
>> [laughter] >> HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
>> [cheering] [applause] >> EVERYBODY, THIS IS GINGER. GINGER, THIS IS RAJ, this is D, and this is Dwayne.
This is Ginger's first visit to California, so I'm kind of showing her the sights.
Tomorrow, he's going to show me around ABC where he works. Did you know he's best friends with some of the biggest stars in Hollywood?
Oh, he is, is he? Yeah, he even knows Charo by her FIRST NAME.
>> [laughter] >> BEST FRIENDS AND OLD FRIENDS, TOO, with Sammy Davis Jr. Sammy Davis Jr.?
>> Uh-huh.
The Sammy Davis Jr.? That's right. You know, [music] I saw him at a benefit performance one time and he was marvelous. A benefit?
That's right. That might be a great way to raise money for our teen center. Hey.
That's a great one. Yeah, but we need a big name star.
That's where Re-Run comes in.
D, I'm flattered, but I'm not really a big name star yet.
>> [laughter] >> I guess you could call me a minor celebrity.
You see these people? They all worship me.
Not you, dummy.
>> [laughter] >> They worship in strange ways.
I'm talking about Sammy Davis Jr. Yeah, Re-Run, since you're such good friends, it would be a cinch to talk him into doing a benefit. Wait a minute.
>> Oh, you can do that easy. After all, what are friends for, right, Re-Runny?
RERUNNY?
>> [laughter] [applause] [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [clears throat] >> MR. FREDERICK J. STUBBS TO SEE MR. Sammy Davis Jr. Do you have an Just tell Sammy that Freddy is here. Or you can say that F.J. HAS ARRIVED. DO you have an appointment?
>> Well, no, not exactly. But me and Sammy don't bother with appointments. We go too far back.
>> Mr. Davis is very busy. Well, is he in?
I'm sorry. He just left for Las Vegas.
He He just left? But he can't. I've got to talk to him. I'VE GOT TO TALK to him about this benefit. If Mr. Davis could just make an appearance, he could help us raise money to save our neighborhood teen center.
Oh, I know Mr. Davis cares an awful lot about young people. But he just can't do it. He is booked solid. But he's got TO DO IT. PLEASE.
LOOK.
MR. Davis may be back in town later in the week. And perhaps he can spare a few moments and talk to you.
That's the best I can do.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
>> You're welcome, MR. STUBBS. OH, YOU DOESN'T HAVE TO CALL ME MR. STUBBS. YOU CAN CALL ME FREDDY.
OR YOU CAN CALL ME FREDDY. OR YOU CAN CALL ME >> [laughter] >> F.J. OR YOU CAN CALL ME F OR YOU CAN CALL ME RERUN. OR YOU CAN ME AH. YOU CAN CALL ME AH. ALL YOU DOESN'T HAVE TO CALL ME FELLA. YOU CAN CALL ME FRIEND or you CAN CALL ME PAL OR YOU CAN CALL ME BUT YOU DOESN'T have to CALL ME FELLA.
>> [applause] >> HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
HI RERUNNY.
Well Well what? Where were we? Here, well Oh YEAH SHIRLEY, A HAMBURGER AND FRENCH FRIES. FRENCH FRIES WE GOT YOU KNOW WHAT we're talking about. The show, is Sammy going to do the show? Oh the show. Well Sammy had this big date in Las Vegas.
>> You mean he isn't going to do the show?
Do you know how busy a big star like that is? But I thought you two were the best of friends. We are, but his secretary said it was out of the question. No way, no chance, NO HOW, IMPOSSIBLE. You phony. You know I almost believed all those stories you told me.
I was ready to do almost anything that YOU SAID.
ANYTHING.
>> [laughter] >> LET ME FINISH.
She said because of Sammy's schedule it was out of the question for ANYONE BUT ME.
OH WOW, THANKS.
WHY?
>> [screaming] >> HUH? Thank you baby. Sorry.
Now look, I'm sorry Miss Lord, but we are auditioning for a variety show not a circus. But this happens to be a very talented bird.
In fact, HE'S >> [laughter] >> HEY, I DON'T CARE NOTHING ABOUT HIS PRIVATE LIFE.
JUST TELL me what he says. Well, he gives a great impression of Howard Cosell.
Now why would he want to do a thing like that?
THANK YOU, MRS. LORD. IF YOU CAN JUST wait in there with the others, please.
Thank you so much.
Uh excuse me, Mrs. Lord. Uh could you take this bird with you?
>> [laughter] >> Please, take the bird. Thank you.
I know you're not going to get no attitude ABOUT THAT BIRD.
>> [applause] >> HI, SWEETIE.
HI, LITTLE LAURA. HEY, I'm not too late for your auditions, am I?
>> Well, see, the Laura, we You know, I do some great impressions.
I got Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind.
Go ahead, Laura.
Frankly, Scarlett, I don't GIVE A DAMN.
I CLEANED IT UP FOR YOU.
>> [laughter] >> WELL, NOW, SEE, that's terrific, Laura, but see, we already >> Rich Little. I got Lass Moore. I do a great Howard Cosell.
>> We've already got one.
>> [laughter] >> Can you wait in there, please? Sure.
Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn.
Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn.
Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn.
Yes? This is Mrs. Stubbs again.
Has [clears throat] Mr. Davis made it back from Las Vegas yet? I got to talk to him. It's urgent.
What?
He had to leave for New York?
When will he be back?
Will you have him call me, please? It's a matter of life and death.
Mine.
Good news, everybody. The ad for the benefit is all set to run in tomorrow's paper. Great. And we've been putting these posters all over town.
Why, this thing is really shaping up. It sure is. And it's going to be a great show, even if we didn't get Sammy.
>> Please, Reardon, don't even mention that. Really, I mean without Sammy the show would be a total flop. THIS WOULD NOT.
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF CLASSY ACTS RIGHT HERE. Roger is going to sing, the Whalen is going to play the drums, and we have Mrs. Lloyd and her talking birds.
Now let's face it Rewind, the people are coming to see Sammy, so Okay, let's get this benefit moving.
Let's get to work. You all waiting ON THE BUS OR SOMETHING?
>> [laughter] [laughter] >> HEY.
POLLY WANT A TWINKIE?
>> [laughter] >> CAN you sing like Sammy Davis?
Come on, what do you say?
I I'll give you some gold rings and gold chains and everything.
>> [laughter] >> Come on, you know Candy Man.
Who can take a rainbow Come on, pal.
GET LOST, TURKEY.
>> [applause] >> HEY, THAT'S SURE IS SOME TURNOUT. The place is packed. Really? Hey Rewind, when is Sammy getting here? I mean, it's time to get this thing started. I can hardly wait to meet him. I'm so excited.
Well, he probably just got held up, right?
>> Yeah, yeah. That That's it. He got held up and mugged and robbed and tossed IN THE TRUNK OF THE CAR AND KIDNAPPED.
>> [laughter] >> I BET HE'S DANCING IN THE TRUNK RIGHT NOW.
REWIND, THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES. Where is Sammy?
Well, I don't know how to tell you guys this.
Sammy isn't coming. Oh, great. I would have stretched it a bit.
But that about says it.
Rewind.
I'm sorry. You're sorry? When did you find out? He was never coming. Never?
>> Never. No, you see Sammy Davis is out on the road and his secretary never got a chance to tell him. I just didn't have the guts to tell you guys. Oh man, I don't believe it. Neither do I.
You are such a a phony.
I bet you weren't EVEN AN ASTRONAUT.
>> [applause] >> SEE YOU HEAR THAT? RERUN, DO YOU realize what you've done? And there's a crowd of people out there who paid money expecting to see Sammy Davis Jr.
Actually, it's more like a mob.
>> [applause] >> Yeah, I know I did it. I know. I messed up again. ME AND MY BIG MOUTH, I ALWAYS DO IT.
>> [applause] >> HEY RERUN, WHEN'S THE SHOW STARTING? I CAN'T wait to be on the same stage as Sammy Davis. Little Earl.
Hey, YOU KNOW IT'S NOT OFTEN I GET TO PERFORM with someone my own size.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, he is about the same size. Maybe with the lights down low Hey Little Earl, can you sing Candy Man?
Sure. Who can take THE RAIN NO ROD, ROD, I'M TIRED OF all these lies. I'm going to go out there and tell that crowd that Sammy's not coming.
Rerun, wait a minute, wait a minute. I I think I have a better idea. Why don't we just put on the show and then you can tell them.
Maybe if they have a good time, they won't tear the place apart. It's our only chance, so let's go Rerun. You're the stage manager, get things rolling.
Okay. Mr. We're on in 5 minutes. Mr. Byrd, you're on IN 5 MINUTES.
>> [music] [applause] >> WELL.
>> [cheering] >> HI, I'M SHIRLEY WILSON AND THE FIRST THING I want to do is welcome you TO OUR SHOW.
>> [applause] >> LISTEN, I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME, so just relax and enjoy yourself.
>> [cough] >> No, the man's coughing, you're going to have to clear that up in about 5 seconds, BABE. NOW.
>> [laughter] >> NOW, MOVE AROUND. I SAID THIS IS GOING TO BE A GOOD show and it's for the teen center, so that's a good enough reason right there. RIGHT, GANG?
>> [cheering] >> OKAY, NOW WE'RE GOING TO BRING OUT THIS FIRST ACT. It's a couple that's from the neighborhood and they're going to sing for you. They're known as the Donnie and Marie of Watts.
Yes, they are. So, please bring on D AND ROGER THOMAS.
>> [applause] >> IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT and our mama is out OF TOWN.
>> [music] >> TOLD ALL our friends at school that tonight we're going to get down.
>> [music] >> We all have been spreading the word all over the neighborhood.
SO, COME [music] ON AND BRING YOUR FRIENDS. THIS PARTY HAS GOT TO be good.
>> [music] >> We're having a party.
Going to dance [music] and play.
We're having a party.
While >> [music] >> mama's away.
Having a party.
Going to >> [music] >> DANCE AND PLAY.
HAVING A PARTY.
>> [music] >> WHILE MAMA'S AWAY.
>> [music] [music] >> ROGER AND [applause] D THOMAS.
[cheering] >> [music] [applause] >> YES, THOSE TWO ARE GOING TO GO VERY FAR.
I MEAN, they have a lot of ambition.
Rodge wants to sing at Carnegie Hall and Dee wants to own it.
Hey, what do I WANT TO TELL YOU? LISTEN, we're going to move right along. This next act is um will prove to you that good things do come in small packages.
WRONG PACKAGE, OKAY?
>> [laughter] >> NOW, THIS IS A KID THAT YOU ALL KNOW and I'm sure you're going to love. He's going to come out and do a little Steve Martin. So, let's bring on, please, LITTLE EARL BARNETT.
WELL, excuse me.
EXCUSE [applause] ME A MINUTE SO I CAN SLIP INTO my Playboy outfit.
>> [laughter] >> RIGHT.
TA-DA!
>> [cheering] [applause] >> YOU LIKE IT?
LIKE IT?
LOVE IT? WELL, THAT'S okay for me cuz I AM A WILD AND CRAZY GUY.
>> [applause and cheering] [applause] [cheering] >> OKAY, NOW, DON'T GO AWAY CUZ WE HAVE really got something a treat coming up for you next. We got Dwayne Nelson ON DRUMS.
>> [cheering] >> YEAH, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.
>> [applause] >> HEY, OKAY, so what we going to need now from you all is a little hand clapping. Can you do that for me? JUST GO LIKE THIS.
>> [applause] >> YOU DIDN'T COME HERE TO LET'S GO. COME ON.
EVERYBODY.
YOU TOO, BABY. LOOK.
DWAYNE NELSON.
>> [applause] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [applause] >> OKAY. NOW, COMING UP IS THE show stopper. We This is going to get you. This is a guy from the neighborhood who we all love and respect, and he's going to come out and sing a song, and I know you're going to like it because I like it, so you're going to like it. So, please, let's bring on Mr. ROGER THOMAS.
>> [applause] [applause] [music] >> IF YOU believe >> [music] >> within your heart, you'll know that no one can change. [music] >> [singing] >> The path that you [music] must go.
Believe what [music] you feel.
And know you're right because [singing] the time will come around >> [music] >> when you'll say [singing] it's yours.
>> [music] >> Believe [singing] in yourself right from the start.
You'll have brains [music] and you'll [singing] have a heart.
And you'll have courage to [music] last your whole [singing] life through.
>> [music] >> Just believe [singing] in yourself.
>> [music] >> If you believe in yourself >> [music and singing] >> just believe in yourself as I believe [singing] in you.
>> [music] [applause] [music] [music] >> CONGRATULATIONS, ROD. THAT WAS TERRIFIC.
Listen to that applause. They're having a great time. Yeah, MAYBE THEY FORGOT ALL ABOUT Sammy Davis. WE WANT SAMMY. WE WANT SAMMY. They remember. Yeah, they want Sammy. What are we going to do now, Rod? There's only one thing to do. I've got to go out there and tell them the truth. Right on, brother. Go ahead, BABY. WE WANT SAMMY.
WE WANT SAMMY.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
The truth is that uh Well, the truth is that due to a mix-up, Mr. Sammy Davis Jr. will not be able TO APPEAR TONIGHT.
>> [cheering] >> I DID IT.
I'M SORRY. IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I LIED. HE he was never going to be here.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
>> [cheering] >> QUIET!
>> [laughter] >> OKAY, OUR CHAIRPERSON HERE HAS A few words she'd like to say, Dee Thomas, and we're going to listen. Go ahead, Dee.
Tell them.
Okay, everybody, you heard the bad news.
Sammy can't be here tonight. UH-UH, WHAT? WHAT?
I DON'T HEAR NOTHING, DO I? I DON'T HEAR NOTHING.
OKAY, GO AHEAD, DEE.
NOW, the good news is the money you gave will enable our teen center to reopen.
That means that the neighborhood kids will again have a place to meet, to talk, and to dance.
Now, if you only gave money to see Sammy, and you don't care about the teen center, then you don't deserve Sammy or the center.
So, anyone who feels cheated, will you please step up here on stage? I'll be happy to give you your money back.
Not even one person?
That's wonderful. Thank you. And I want to thank all the people in this show who have given their time and talent.
And I want to thank especially this man here on stage with me.
Me?
Because none of this would have happened if it weren't for Re-Run Stubbs and HIS BIG MOUTH.
>> [applause] [applause] [music] >> WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.
Going to dance and play.
>> [music] >> We're having a party.
While mama's away.
WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.
>> [music] [applause] [music] [applause] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> IT'S STUCK AGAIN, RAJ. DON'T JUST Let me in. You got to lift. Pretty close.
THAT'S THE ONE.
TWO.
>> [laughter] >> THREE.
I HATE THAT DOOR.
RERUN, A DOOR is a thing. You can't get emotionally involved with a thing.
You can't hate a door.
>> [music] [laughter] >> What are we going to do, Raj? Ever since Mrs. WATSON SOLD THIS BUILDING, IT'S JUST FALLING APART. MAN, THE PIPES LEAK, there's no heat, AND THE PLASTER'S JUST FALLING OFF THE WALL.
OH, NO. WHAT IS IT NOW?
>> THE refrigerator's on the blink.
EVERYTHING IS FROZEN SOLID.
>> [laughter] >> LOOK, MY CHICKEN IS TURNING INTO A CLUCKSICLE.
>> [laughter] >> WHAT'S GOING TO BE OUR DINNER, RAJ?
>> [laughter] >> WE'VE GOT TO GET THAT NEW LANDLORD TO DO SOMETHING. RERUN, would you just take IT EASY? TAKE IT EASY, WE'LL STARVE.
>> [laughter] >> WHAT DO ESKIMOS DO?
THEY rub noses.
>> [laughter] >> It doesn't HAVE A NOSE.
RERUN, PLEASE. I'M TRYING TO STUDY.
HEAT, RAJ, I NEED HEAT.
>> [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> Come on IN, DWAYNE.
DWAYNE, YOU GOT TO lift and push. LIFT AND PUSH.
>> [laughter] >> LET ME OUT OF HERE. DWAYNE, NO.
OH, RAJ, THIS IS JUST LIKE THE FUNHOUSE.
>> [music] >> Believe me, Dwayne, this house is no fun. Yeah.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, Rerun, man, what are you doing, ironing a chicken?
>> [laughter] >> I'm trying, but it's not working. Well, I bet it's real hard to get nice creases IN A BIRD.
>> [laughter] >> I KNOW WHAT I'LL DO. I'LL PUT IT IN THE STOVE. THAT should thaw it out. Yeah.
>> [clears throat] [laughter] >> This new landlord can't push us around like this. I'm fed up and I'm not going to take anymore. That's right, me either. Sit down, Dwayne. You don't even live here.
Yeah, but I love A GOOD FIGHT.
>> [laughter] >> LOOK, YOU guys are my pals. If you're in trouble, we're all in trouble. I mean, if I could, I'd come over here and fight with you side by side, just like the three musketeers.
You mean it? You do that for us? Sure.
If you didn't live in SUCH A DUMP.
>> [laughter] >> OH, RAJ, I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
>> [laughter] >> RAJ, I GOT BIG NEWS.
THE bathtub blew up?
No.
Well, then get a wet cloth for me, I am tired. I had a rough day. I just want to relax and take it easy.
>> [laughter] >> The tub was murder.
But Raj, remember what you said yesterday about us standing up for our rights. Yes, I know. I called the landlord. He wasn't in.
Well, I did something about it. I called a tenants meeting.
Oh, yeah? Well, just count me out, Rerun. I don't want any part of it. I've been on those committees at school and nothing ever gets done. So, if you don't mind, I'll just lay here and relax and take it easy. No, I don't mind, but that doesn't leave much room for the others.
Others? What [laughter] others?
Well, you know, I thought since I called the meeting, I should have it here.
Rerun. You don't have to thank me, Raj.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU, SO MUCH. MUCH.
ORDER ORDER.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT, RAJ?
Order order everyone.
NO, BIG DEAL. DON'T.
>> [laughter] [laughter] >> IS THIS A PARTY?
SORRY ABOUT THAT, FOLKS.
YEAH, THAT'S NUMBER THREE. SO, I CAN PLAY THIS. TIGHT DOOR AND LOOSE WINDOW.
AT LEAST JUST THERE are your works.
>> You know, our fumes keep blowing all the time. I'm sitting up here in the dark.
DID YOU HAVE WATER?
ORDER ORDER ORDER I'M GLAD EVERYONE CAME and let's not waste a moment.
>> Right, let's get right down to business, OKAY? RIGHT, WHAT SHALL WE HAVE FOR REFRESHMENTS? TWINKIES OR DING DONGS?
TWINKIES WILL BE FINE.
WELL, YOU ELECTED CHOOSE SPOKESMEN. YOU WANT the Ding Dongs?
>> No, let's get going. Okay, LET'S GO.
LET'S STEAL THE CARD.
>> [laughter] >> ISN'T THIS THE WEDNESDAY NIGHT POKER GAME?
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE EVERYBODY. MR. WING HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT to say. What is it, Mr. Wing?
>> Make a magic golden burrito. GOLDEN BURRITO TWINKIE.
>> [laughter] >> WELL, A TWINKIE IS LIKE A large oblong fortune cookie. But, only instead of a fortune inside, there's a LOT OF GOO.
>> [laughter] >> OH. GOO.
FORGET THE GOO. I want some action.
Don't look at me. I'm 82.
>> [laughter] >> How much younger do you jog? OH, MY GOD.
WHO CARES ABOUT JOGGING? MY KITCHEN STOVE is 82.
>> Oh. Look, why don't we just have Fig Newtons? It really [laughter] doesn't matter. IF I SAID LET'S HAVE FIG NEWTONS PLEASE!
PLEASE!
PLEASE!
>> [laughter] >> NOW, WE'LL NEVER ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING standing around yelling at each other.
>> Yeah, you're right, I guess. We need for one person to be in charge.
All right, all you need is for one person to stand up to the landlord and tell him we're sick and tired of HIS LAME EXCUSES.
ALL RIGHT? AND FORCE HIM TO LIVE UP TO HIS RESPONSIBILITIES.
CONGRATULATIONS, ROGER. GO TO IT.
MAN, YOU GOT IT. YOU ELECTED HIM.
>> [laughter] >> IT'S UNANIMOUS, RIGHT?
I DON'T WANT IT.
NAHOY YAN.
>> [laughter] >> GOO?
GOO BYE.
>> [laughter] [music] [cough and clears throat] [laughter] >> YOU CALLED?
>> [laughter] >> COULD YOU PLEASE make a little less noise?
>> [laughter] >> Sorry, Raj. It's not easy to eat frozen spaghetti.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Well, hopefully today will be the last day we'll have to put up with that dumb refrigerator. You think that landlord will show up?
Oh, hey, don't worry, he'll show up. I went down to his office and I told his secretary that I represent the entire building and if he better come down here personally to answer our complaint, so he'd be in big trouble.
>> [laughter] >> I'm glad we elected you president, Raj?
You're a real powerhouse.
Yeah, but what if he refuses to listen to you?
Then I'll just have to get tough.
>> [laughter] >> And I'll tell him that he's a greedy fool with no respect for the rights of others, and demand that he make THE REPAIRS NOW.
>> [laughter] [laughter] >> WHAT IF HE STARTS A FIGHT, RAJ?
A FISTFIGHT? MHM. We're all grown-ups.
Grown-ups don't fight with their fists.
We're not lawyers.
I bet you that's him.
You Roger Thomas? I haven't seen him.
ROGER THOMAS WITH THE BIG MOUTH?
>> [laughter] >> YES, SIR.
ROGER THOMAS WITH THE BIG MOUTH, I'm Sam Logan with the bad temper. I own this building. You got something you want to say to me?
>> No, sir.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, Raj, tell him the part about the lawyers.
Uh I I had something to say earlier, but I don't I forget what it was.
>> [laughter] >> Don't you remember, Raj? You said that you WERE GOING TO DEMAND THAT he make repairs. Oh, yeah? I said that?
>> [laughter] >> Yep, and then IF HE SAID NO, YOU WAS GOING TO TELL HIM what kind of fool he is.
WAYNE.
I DIDN'T SAY I said I wanted to see the man and tell HIM HOW COOL WAYNE IS ON THE SWIMMING TEAM. HE gets water in his ears. Listen.
>> [laughter] >> I'm no fool, and I'm not cool. I just don't want any trouble in my building.
No all troublemakers.
>> [laughter] >> Troublemakers? Us? Oh, come on. Why don't you just take it easy and visit Do you want some coffee or tea or A little spaghetti?
>> [laughter] >> I didn't come here to kid around.
Yeah.
Of course you didn't.
I know exactly why you came here.
You came here because you have a valuable piece of property and you want to take good care of it.
I do? Of course you do.
Look at this workmanship. You don't see many buildings like this these days. I mean, solid construction. NO, GO BACK TO HIM.
>> [laughter] >> SORRY, MR. WAYNE. WAYNE, ANOTHER COMPLAINER. Believe me, Mr. Logan. You made a wise investment. You could This place could triple its value in just a few years if you just make the repairs.
You know, you fellows might be right.
I do have a valuable investment here that could be worth a lot more but just by making a few repairs. Yeah. See, and then everybody will be happy.
Tell you what I'm going to do.
>> Yes.
>> [laughter] >> Make me out a list of those few little things that need fixing and I'm going to take care of it. Well, I've got OUR LIST RIGHT HERE.
>> [laughter] >> HE SURE IS FAST, RIGHT?
>> [laughter] >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR PRESIDENT has something to say.
Thank you, Rerun.
The reason I called you all here is because I have some very good news.
OUR BATTLE IS WON.
>> [screaming] >> MR. LOGAN HAS DECIDED TO MAKE ALL NEEDED REPAIRS IMMEDIATELY.
>> [screaming] >> UH THIS IS 3A. ROGER THOMAS AND Frederick Stubbs.
>> Yes. Uh got a delivery. A MICROWAVE OVEN. A MICROWAVE OVEN?
A MICROWAVE OVEN!
MR. Logan really came through. How about that? And we just told him our stove was on the blink.
You got a new refrigerator coming, TOO.
A NEW REFRIGERATOR?
A NEW REFRIGERATOR?
HERE he comes, Mr. Logan, now. Good old Mr. Logan.
>> Hey, bless his heart.
Well, looks like everybody's here. Mr. Logan, I can't tell you how happy we are about that microwave oven. What a surprise that was.
Yeah, a whole modern nice kitchen's going in. New stove, refrigerator, dishwasher. This place is going to look like a real luxury apartment.
THE MAN'S A FAKE. AND A LUXURY APARTMENT SHOULD bring in almost double the rent.
Now, wait just a minute, Logan. What?
Sir, are you going to raise our rent?
We can't pay it.
Oh, too bad. Here's your eviction notice. Eviction? You're throwing us out? No, you can't do it.
>> Do you have a lease? No, we rent month to month. And the end of the week is the end of the month. GOODBYE, TROUBLEMAKERS.
DOES ANYBODY ELSE WANT THEIR PLACE turned into a nice luxury apartment? Oh, no, no.
No, no, no. Good. Good.
And good day.
Is Rod still in the bathroom? YEAH.
>> [laughter] >> MORE PANCAKES, SHIRLEY?
WOW, WHEN YOU GUYS MOVE IN, you really move in.
>> [laughter] >> Have you seen my books? No.
Rod, get out of the bathroom. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN. I'M SHAVING. 10 SECONDS AND I'M GOING TO KNOCK THAT DOOR DOWN. MORE PANCAKES, SHIRLEY?
YOU WANT MORE PANCAKES, SHIRLEY?
I'll give you more pancakes.
SHIRLEY, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED to do with this? The recipe's on the box. So, let's cook.
It's up to me.
Well, I guess it's just as well. All this moving and apartment, honey, has got me too upset to eat.
Rerun, you've already put away a dozen pancakes. Not to mention two cantaloupes, three helpings of scrambled eggs, and six pieces of toast. Now, you weren't that upset when you ate all that.
Shirley, I said I was upset, NOT UNCONSCIOUS.
>> [laughter] >> WELL, JUST LOOK AT THIS PLACE. OH, WHAT A MESS. I mean, Rerun, you didn't even put up your bed. I'm sorry, Shirley. I'm just too tired. I DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL LAST NIGHT. THIS lumpy couch just did terrible things to my body.
>> [laughter] >> Don't hand me that food. You came IN WITH THAT BODY.
HEY, HEY, ROB. IS THERE ANY GOOD APARTMENTS listed in the classifieds?
Oh, there's plenty, Shirley, but they're too expensive. Well, hey, listen. Just sit down and relax, and I'll fix you a nice breakfast. I mean, for you, I'll cook.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, no, Shirley. I really got to go. I got to find these places to live. Don't worry, Rob. We got to go out and find a place to live. We got six places to check out. Let's move. Got to go. Got to go. GOT TO GO. IT'S ALL YOURS. I'M OUT.
I'm out. I'M OUT.
>> [laughter] >> COME ON, RERUN. WE GOT A BIG DAY AHEAD OF US. NOW, come on.
Hey, Shirley. I'm sorry about the stuff on the floor. We'll get it when we come back.
>> right. Just go ahead. I'll fix you Shirley, would you mind putting up my bedding for me? Yeah. Yeah, you know, you know, while you're at it, these pants right here need pressing, Shirley.
Oh, yeah. And this shirt right here that was in the box over there needs a couple of buttons.
Oh, one one one other thing, Shirley. My sock has got a hole in it.
>> [laughter] >> You know, and my extra BERET NEEDS BLOCKING.
I'LL NEED A FEW EXTRA PILLOWS, AND WE'LL BE home by 6:00. I don't want to miss that great big wonderful dinner you're going to cook for us.
You want me to find you a apartment FOR YOU?
>> [laughter] >> OH, NO, SHIRLEY. TODAY IS YOUR DAY OFF, BABY. You stay at HOME AND RELAX.
>> [laughter] >> RELAX? RELAX? WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS PLACE? And you know who we owe it to?
That old turkey landlord. I know. He messed up Roger and Rerun's lives and our house.
>> Yeah, somebody ought to tell him WHERE TO GET OFF. You're right, Shirley. I mean, and what about those old food attendants? I mean, they just dropped Roger and Rerun like two hot potatoes.
Somebody ought to tell them off, too.
You're right, Shirley. I mean, I JUST EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT, IT JUST STEAMS ME UP. I JUST GET SO MAD.
>> [laughter] >> I GOT A FEELING THERE'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER MEETING. MHM, and it's going to be right here, so help me clean the path. I mean, Shirley Wilson has just elected herself president of the STSS committee.
STSS?
>> Mhm, SIT THEM SUCKERS STRAIGHT.
>> [laughter] >> NO, NO, THERE WILL BE NO REFRESHMENTS, NO DING DONGS, no Fig Newtons, no nothing.
I mean, let's get back to the reason why we're here. Now, I'm going to say it to you one more time.
Roger is your president. Roger talked up for you.
Roger got evicted, and y'all just copped out.
Now, you're going to un-cop out and do something about it.
Any questions?
Yeah. Neekon Mat Yet Galfon Dukma Goo goo gon Woo woo gon Yeah, thank you. It's just a little cheap something I PICKED UP DOWNTOWN.
>> [laughter] >> LOOK, SHIRLEY'S RIGHT. I MEAN, WHEN THE GUYS GOT EVICTED, we all clammed up. We let that landlord intimidate us. Yeah, I mean, you turkeys chickened out. Yeah, she's Oh, I don't feel like getting Oh, yes, she did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look, we're all very sorry about what happened. But, what do you expect us to do? Well, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU.
I THINK YOU OUGHT TO TELL LOGAN SAY, "HEY, WE'RE NOT GOING TO STAND for that."
Oh, you can't blame us because Roger's immature. I mean, he talked too much, and his big MOUTH GOT HIM IN TROUBLE.
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
That's my brother you talking about. He got himself thrown out of his apartment sticking up for his rights and yours.
And if that's immature and growing up means learning to cop out, then I hope I stay A KID FOREVER.
>> [applause] >> THAT'S TELLING HIM, LITTLE LADY. I thought you were deaf.
If anything makes sense, I CAN HEAR IT.
>> [applause] >> HOLD IT. HOLD IT. HOLD IT. WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE? WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, TURKEY? YOU GUYS ARE IN A MIX UP, RIGHT?
NO ROGER, NO RERUN, get back to your apartment or we don't CARE ABOUT RENT.
>> WHAT? NO ROGER, NO RERUN, NO RENT.
>> [laughter] >> NO ROGER, NO NO ROGER, NO RERUN, NO RENT.
NO ROGER, no rerun, NO RENT.
THE LANDLORD IS TRYING TO SHOW THE APARTMENT TO A NEW TENANT. NOW, GET ON OUT OF HERE. BEAT IT. HELL NO, WE WON'T GO. HELL NO, WE WON'T WE WON'T GO. NO ROGER, NO ROGER, NO RERUN, NO RENT. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. LISTEN. LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS. AIN'T NOTHING YOU CAN SAY. OH, you want to say something, Mr. Weenie? Mayday, hoy, mayday, mayday, mayday, mayday, mayday, mayday, mayday, mayday, mayday. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mayday.
Mayday.
No Roger, no rerun, NO RENT.
>> [applause] >> D, SHIRLEY, WE'RE HOME.
I wonder where they are. Man, I sure hope we don't have to fix our own dinner. I'm exhausted. Me, too.
Hey, Dwayne. We really appreciate your help.
Situation seems hopeless, though.
Doesn't seem to be any apartment we can afford. Well, the rent on that last one was pretty cheap.
Dwayne, would you like to live on the bowling alley?
>> [laughter] >> Sure, if I can have THE SPARE ROOM.
WELL, TOMORROW'S SUNDAY. WE JUST HAVE to get up early and try again.
Hello, everybody.
Any luck? No.
Things don't look too good.
Hey, Mr. President. What happened to all that energy, drive, and charisma that swept you to victory in your last election?
Oh, please, Dee. I wish I never heard of the Tenants Committee.
>> Would it cheer you up to know that we found a place for you to live? You did?
WHAT? YOU'RE KIDDING.
OH, that's wonderful. Surely it doesn't look anything like our old place.
>> Just like your old place. How about the rent? Same rent. Nice neighborhood? Oh, man, you're going to love it.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, this key looks just like our old key. Yeah.
3A, it is our old key. You mean you got US OUR OLD APARTMENT BACK?
>> [laughter] >> HOW'D YOU DO THAT? Shirley called a rent strike.
>> Yeah.
A rent strike?
>> we did. We got these signs, and we were saying, "NO ROGER, NO RERUN, NO RENT."
"NO ROGER, NO RERUN, NO RENT."
"NO ROGER, NO RERUN, NO RENT."
>> [laughter] >> "NO ROGER, NO RERUN, NO RENT." THAT IS FANTASTIC. And And it worked? I mean, Logan gave in, huh? Sure it did. He really panicked. Oh, Dee, you're wonderful. Thanks, Shirley. Now, WATCH IT NOW.
YOU'RE WONDERFUL, TOO, SHIRLEY.
WONDERFUL. What do you say, Roger? Let's pack. YOU BET.
>> [applause] >> YES, GOOD TO BE BACK IN our old place again, huh, Ruby right? Yeah. Shirley must have really terrified that landlord. Look like he fixed everything.
Mhm.
>> [laughter] >> Beautiful.
Hey Raj, where did we have this calendar hanging?
Uh by the spice rack, remember?
Sure, I'mma put it right back in the same place. There, there's the old nail hole. Yeah.
WELCOME HOME.
>> [laughter] [applause] [applause] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> OKAY, THAT'S TWO HAMBURGERS, A BOWL of chili, a couple of frankfurters with some sauerkraut, a chocolate shake, and three apple pie la modes. Now, Dwayne and Dee, what can I get you?
Hey, what's happening? Hey, what's happening? RAJ, have I got some exciting news for you. Now, I've been working on the sociology project at school. OH, THAT'S EXCITING, RAJ. Wake me when he finishes, Dwayne.
>> [laughter] >> Will you knock it off? Now, listen to this, Dwayne, and D, you and Shirley in particular.
>> listening. You are now living in a very famous house.
Uh you are talking about your mother's house. That's right. I found it out going through this 1927 newspaper.
Wow, and I thought our paperboy was slow.
>> [laughter] >> Now, LISTEN.
DUKE MORGAN, ONE OF AMERICA'S most wanted criminals, was captured within hours of a daring daylight robbery of the West Lake Trust Bank.
Morgan was surrounded by police and forced at gunpoint from his hideout at 534 Oakmont Avenue.
That's our address.
>> That's what I said. Oh, and listen to this.
The $2,500 taken from West Lake Trust Bank was not recovered.
>> Mhm.
Wait a minute. If he had the money when he went into the house, and he didn't have it when he came out, the money is STILL IN THE HOUSE.
OH, MAN. OH, WOW. $2,500. WHAT I COULD DO with $2,500.
Wait a minute. [laughter] Now, calm down. You're talking about something that happened 50 years ago. And second of all, there couldn't possibly be any money in that house.
Look.
OH, THERE IT YOOHOO. MONEY. IT'S YOUR FAVORITE RERUN.
>> [laughter] >> YOOHOO. $2,500.
COME, COME, where are you?
I know you're hiding someplace.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
COME TO DWAYNE-Y, MONEY.
RUN.
RE- RERUN.
>> [laughter] >> WHAT ARE YOU POUNDING? RAJ, I THINK I GOT THE BOTTOM STEP LOOSE. HEY, LOOK. WE HAVE TO GO about this Then we've got THE WRONG GROUP.
>> [laughter] >> CRAP, I GOT THE STEP LOOSE. RERUN, YOU PUT THAT BACK BEFORE SHIRLEY COMES IN.
YOU KNOW SHE'LL BE mad if she sees a step like that.
Hi beautiful.
What have you done TO THE PLACE? WHAT'S going on here? Uh I lost my contact lens.
>> Let's see if we can Wayne, you don't wear contact lenses.
>> [laughter] >> Maybe that's why I couldn't FIND ONE.
>> FINE.
LOOK AT THE MESS YOU ALL MADE. I mean, YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.
I mean, I THOUGHT YOU HAD MORE SENSE, especially you. Then you go hunting for some money. Just look Look at the furniture. Look Look at it. And look at the step. Oh Oh, don't Wait, don't mess this. Look at this rug. LOOK, I SEE SOME GREEN. OH, RIP THAT SUCKER OUT OF THERE.
>> [laughter] >> GREEN, MY FAVORITE COLOR. YOU SEE ANY PRESIDENT'S FACE?
NO, it's just a uh candy bar wrapper.
Mr. Chocolate Chew.
Uh it contains uh egg white, uh sugar, starch, malt.
>> Rerun, what else is in there? Oh, peanut, vegetable oil.
Step Step, right here.
Oh.
It's another candy wrapper.
WESTLAKE TRUST BANK. WESTLAKE TRUST BANK?
>> [laughter] >> THIS IS A MONEY WRAPPER. THIS IS FROM THE SAME bank that was held up by Duke Morgan, that brute. What is it?
Brute what? The money is still here.
Sounds logical to me. Uh Raj, you're sounding logical to Dwayne. Now, that should tell you something.
Shirley, the money wrapper is the clue.
Yeah. Clue? You want a clue? I'll give you a clue. Okay. Guess who's going to be on the outside of that door in about 5 seconds.
You [laughter] mean uh Good work, Sherlock. Yeah.
Okay, 5 SECONDS UP. LET'S GO. THAT'S IT.
>> [laughter] >> OUT! I SHOULD I WANT TO THANK YOU, BABY.
Go out! Later.
Hey, well, it wasn't a total loss. I found this quarter on the couch.
>> Yes, we did. BYE, BABY.
LOOK AT THIS MESS, D. HEY, IT JUST GOES TO show you what fools people can turn into over little money.
I can take it or leave it alone.
You can leave money alone? Sure. If you leave it alone, you earn 7 and 1/2% and you avoid substantial penalty FOR EARLY WITHDRAWAL.
>> [laughter] >> WHAT KIND OF FOOLS BE KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR this time of morning?
>> [laughter] >> You know, um, we got to thinking, Shirley, it's not safe for you girls to be here by yourselves.
Yeah, with no man to do the heavy work.
Yes, so we just thought we'd help out with the dusting a little bit, okay?
Yeah, I'll dust over here by the bookcase. And I'll dust over here underneath the carpet.
Who do you clowns think you're fooling?
Fooling? [laughter] I know you're after the money.
What money, baby? Now, listen. Since I'm in charge of this house while your mother's away, I think you you should stop this nonsense right now. Just stop it.
Stop it.
>> Miss Wilson, here are the tools YOU ASKED FOR.
>> [laughter] >> UH, EXCUSE ME, SHIRLEY, WHO WAS THAT? What what what? The tool man. Oh, yeah, that's that's Barney. Yeah, he's the new handyman in the neighborhood and I just borrowed some of those tools right there. I was going to make a spice rack.
Excuse me, he's a nice guy.
Yes. I almost forgot, UH, YOUR SLEDGEHAMMER.
>> [laughter] >> HEY, NICE PLACE YOU GOT HERE.
REAL NICE.
BYE. BYE, BARNEY. HAVE FUN.
>> [laughter] >> BYE, BARNEY. THANKS FOR THE TOOLS, BONNIE.
Uh little spice rack, Miss Wilson. So, you were planning to look for the money, too, huh, Shirley? Hm, a grown woman.
>> [laughter] >> And you, Dee, A GROWN KID.
Y'ALL OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED of your grown self.
We all ought to stop playing games. I mean Hey, I couldn't agree with you more. Now, let's just split it five ways and get down to some real looking. All right, I'm with you. All right, let's grab a tool now. Okay. And spread out.
And and holler. The first one that hit something that's green and it doesn't have roots.
HEY, FIGHT.
YEAH.
YEAH.
WELL, I SEARCHED THE ATTIC AND THE UPSTAIRS BEDROOM. So far, big zero.
>> [laughter] >> OH, MAN.
IT'S A MESS.
WHAT HAVE WE DONE? NOT AS MUCH AS WE SHOULD HAVE DONE.
>> [laughter] >> YOU KNOW, WHAT? THE FLOOD KIND OF SLOWED US UP A LITTLE BIT. What flood? Yeah, yeah. UH DWAYNE HIT A WATER PIPE.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER. I'M PUTTING AN END TO THIS RIGHT NOW. IT'S OVER.
>> [laughter] >> OVER IS IT?
HUH?
NOW, WE'RE GOING TO BE OVER.
NOT FOR ME. NO, I'M GOING TO FIND THAT MONEY.
THEY THINK THEY CAN HIDE IT AWAY, BUT THEY ARE WRONG.
THEY CAN'T HIDE IT FROM FREDDY SCOTT.
I'VE COME TOO FAR. I'VE STAYED TOO LONG.
IT'S GOING TO BE MINE.
>> [screaming] >> MINE, DO YOU HEAR ME?
>> [cheering and laughter] >> HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
ALL RIGHT, $20.
IT'S GOING TO BE MINE.
>> [cheering] >> YEAH. [laughter] UH-HUH.
THIS IS THE BREAK WE'VE BEEN waiting for.
Those five pigeons found the money for us.
Yeah.
You want to move in on them?
Great.
>> [laughter] >> Believe me, IT'LL BE LIKE OLD TIMES, DUKE.
RIGHT.
WE'RE IN THE MONEY.
>> [laughter] [applause] >> BEAUTIFUL MONEY.
>> [laughter] >> YEAH, SOME PEOPLE CAN have the hustle and bustle of the city, but give me a mountain of GREEN EVERY TIME.
>> [laughter] >> WELL, LET'S DIVIDE IT.
ALL RIGHT. Of course, uh I know you all agree that since I found the money, I deserve a little bonus.
>> [laughter] >> You know, you were all ready to give up, but not Frederick Stubbs.
Uh Stubbs. Oh, that's a good name. Yeah, that's what your arm's going to be. You put it BACK IN HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT. WE SAID WE WOULD SHARE EQUALLY, and that's what we're going to do. That's right. Share equally.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, you know, I am one time treasure hunter?
Oh, I guess you all want a whole bed, huh?
No.
I'm not sleeping all myself.
Funny thing, Raj. You don't neither might. Yeah, this is the kind of night when I love to stay up. When the moonlight is on the trees, the dew is on the grass, and the money's on the table.
WELL, WE HAVE A CUSTOM IN THE Wilson family.
We never go to bed until the guests leave.
>> [laughter] >> Looks like it's going to be a long long night.
>> [laughter] [laughter] >> Put the seven-layer cake in the Mercedes, James.
Tell Diana Ross I'll be over at 8:00.
Make that an eight-layer cake, and tell Diana I'll be over at 7:00.
DIANA?
HEY, WHERE'S D? I DON'T KNOW. HMM, I DON'T KNOW. SHE must Hey!
>> Where's the money? ARE YOU SHIRLEY? YOU HAD IT. NO, SHIRLEY HAD IT.
>> THE MONEY IS GONE, AND D IS GONE. D, how could she? Oh, Dwayne D didn't take that money.
Wrong, Raj.
I took it, I counted it, and I divided it. The newspaper was right. There's $2,500 here. That's 500 a piece. All right.
Hey, I'm going to get ME A MOPED.
>> [laughter] >> I THINK I'LL TAKE A CRUISE TO HAWAII.
>> [screaming] [laughter] >> HEY, I'M GOING TO GET ME ONE OF THOSE MOO MOOS, HUH?
SHIRLEY, YOU'RE TAKING A COW TO HAWAII?
You know, I'm going to make a dinner reservation at Fat Burger's.
Double king cheese egg with everything.
>> [laughter] >> Security is always good. I'll go into security. Uh wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it. Now, we don't know that this money is ours. Huh, IT'S IN MY HAND.
IT'S [applause] OURS.
NO, D. THE money was taken from West Lake Trust Bank and it may still belong to them.
Raj, the bank doesn't have a claim. It doesn't exist. West Lake Trust Bank folded in the crash of 1929.
>> Well, all right.
Are you sure?
How do you know?
It's all in my history of banks, volume nine.
That's our D. We're rich. Well, I am ready to start spending.
Oh, that's probably Jackie Onassis asking me for more money. Wait a minute, Sherri.
Uh before you open the door, maybe we should hide this money.
That's right. The Internal Revenue never sleeps.
Yeah, baby. I'm coming. You ready? Yes.
Okay.
>> [laughter] >> You ready?
Oh, I was upstairs. I had to run down.
Oh, Barney. I guess you want your tools.
No.
I came for the money.
Money? What money? I mean, you loan me your tools, Barney. Oh, I don't want any tool money. I want the money money.
Don't give me no trouble. Just hand over the dough.
He seems a little upset, Raj. Give him a dollar. Hey.
HEY, I DON'T WANT NO DOLLAR. I WANT THAT BANK MONEY. He knows. Now, hand it over or there's GOING TO BE TROUBLE.
Handle this. Trouble?
>> TROUBLE? TROUBLE? TROUBLE?
YOU KNOW, RAJ, NOT TELL HIM WHAT YEAH.
TELL ME, RAJ.
Or better yet, TELL IT TO DUKE MORGAN.
Duke Morgan? Duke Morgan? That's right.
Come on in, Duke.
Duke Morgan is here? You got to be kidding. Duke Morgan himself?
Duke Morgan, the bank robber? You heard me.
I said, COME ON IN, DUKE.
>> [laughter] >> WHAT YOU SAY?
I SAID, COME IN. I'M IN ALREADY, YOU DING FOOL.
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, OR YOU AIN'T LISTENING GOOD?
I want you to do just exactly what I tell you.
>> [laughter] >> What did he say? Hey, now look, gentlemen, I CAN'T BELIEVE NOW, NOW JUST HAND IT OVER, OR ELSE.
Nothing doing. We found it, IT'S OURS.
WE STOLE IT, IT'S OURS.
FORK IT OVER, OR ELSE. HEY.
You don't frighten us. Hey, it's five of us, it's just you and the OLD MAN.
>> [laughter] >> NOW, DON'T YOU LET HIM HEAR YOU say that.
Shame on you.
THAT'S DUKE MORGAN.
>> YEAH. I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU JUST ONE MORE chance now. One more You give me THAT MONEY YEAH, PUT THAT MONEY RIGHT HERE.
You give ME THAT MONEY.
NO WAY, MR. DUKE. WELL, then I'm going to bring in my mob. He brought his mob?
>> The mob? YES, SIR, I DID. AND I'LL BRING THEM IN HERE. COME ON IN, BOYS.
>> [cheering] >> EVERYBODY FREEZE.
WELL, I I I THOUGHT I I THOUGHT I WAS supposed to say that.
>> Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's that's all right, Al.
Everybody makes mistakes. Now, every everybody freeze. WHERE'S LEFTY?
WHERE'S MY HATCHET MAN?
HERE I AM. [laughter] OH.
That first step was murder.
Oh.
>> [laughter] >> Oh.
All right, everybody.
Freeze.
>> [laughter] >> We already did that.
Huh? Yeah, already did it.
>> Oh, all right. You sit down.
>> [laughter] >> Um Who are these people? That's the Duke Morgan gang.
The gang that held up West Lake Trust.
What do they steal these days? Denture grip?
>> [laughter] >> ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY BACK IN THE BUS.
Come on, gentlemen. We've got to get back to the home. That goes for you, too. All right, beautiful. Okay. Now, you take over.
>> [laughter] >> But watch out first and give us a cleat now a 5-minute HEAD START.
>> [laughter] >> THAT OUGHT TO GET US TO THE SIDEWALK.
>> [applause] >> You see a What's that?
That's a cutie.
What in the world was that, YOU LITTLE I told you that was Duke Morgan and his gang.
Sure, I know they don't move so good anymore.
But you should have seen them in the old days. Um I don't understand this whole thing, Bonnie. I mean, did you expect us to just hand over the money to a bunch of old men?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess it was crazy.
But I was just hoping they'd get a break.
They've all been in prison most of their lives, and now they out there in old folks home. Wow.
And that that home they're staying at there's no entertainment.
They only got one game, and most of it's missing.
Who Who are YOU GOING TO JUMP WITH ONE CHECKER?
>> [laughter] >> THAT IS BAD.
YEAH.
THAT'S why I got this nutty idea.
It was dumb.
But I was a kid on this job.
I was a lookout.
We all knew Duke hid the money here in the house.
But none of us knew exactly where.
Yeah, but Duke knew.
He was the only one.
But he forgot.
WE KEPT TELLING HIM, "WRITE IT DOWN.
WRITE IT DOWN."
YEAH, HE DID SEEM like a nice old gentleman to be a bank robber. They all did.
Yeah, they paid their debt to society.
I go up and see Duke and the boys once in a while.
Do what I can to make it easier for them in these last years.
That's why I wanted the money.
But I guess you kids will put it to good use.
I'm going over here to get my tools now.
I won't be bothering you anymore.
Hey, you don't have to worry about us putting it to good use. See, I'm going to get a moped, and Shawna's going on a cruise to Hawaii. Meanwhile, he's going to clean out Fatburger's. And Rod, he's going to get a whole bunch of new clothes, right? Nah, I don't need any new clothes. Well, I'm sure you'll enjoy it whatever you do with it.
Mr. Dunn, we would really like to help those old guys. We really would.
Hey, then why don't we? I mean, all that money is done just bring out the worst in all of us. Yes.
You're right, Shirley. You can count me in. Me, too.
I'm for it.
Uh Oh, well.
>> [laughter] >> Okay, who wants to take a girl to the driving on a moped anyway?
We all agreed. The home gets the money.
Hey, I can't believe it.
OH, THANK YOU.
You folks are terrific. They'll never forget you for this. With their memories, I'm not so sure.
>> [laughter] >> So long and thanks again. All right, you take it easy.
>> [laughter] >> That's just dandy. No money and we still have to get the house fixed up.
Oh, by the way, one good turn deserves another.
You don't have to worry about this house. I'll fix it up for you.
For free.
Thank you, Ronnie.
Hey, now that's good. At least we know the house will be fixed up. Yeah, Ronnie's got quite a job.
Hey, what?
I found another wrapper.
ALL GOLD. GOLD? GOLD!
RUSS, THERE'S GOLD IN THIS HOUSE. RERUN, THIS DON'T BE SILLY. This is a candy bar. See peanuts, dextrose, SALT.
>> NO, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT, RUSS.
THERE'S GOLD IN THIS HOUSE. GOLD! RERUN, WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD IT. HOLD IT. HOLD IT. IT'S OVER.
>> [laughter] >> OVER?
IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE OVER. NOT FOR ME.
NO. RERUN.
CALM DOWN.
>> [applause] >> I KNOW.
HEY, HEY, HEY, SHEL. WHAT'S UP, SHEL?
HEY, SHEL. HEY, YOU GUYS GOING TO BE COMING UP HERE TODAY? WELL, WE STOPPED by the old folks home to see Duke and the gang. Oh, that's nice. So, how they DOING UP THERE? OH, GREAT. THEY BOUGHT A lot of nice things with that money, too.
You know, a record player and plenty of games.
>> Yeah.
Oh, they having a ball with the color TV. Yeah, I bet they just having fun, sitting there watching it, huh? No, they don't watch it.
Wait a minute, they got a brand new color TV and they're not watching it?
Uh-uh, they take TURNS STEALING IT.
>> [laughter] [applause] [applause] [music] [music] [music] >> DWAYNE!
DWAYNE! WILL YOU GET THE DOOR? I'M not finished dressing yet.
>> [laughter] >> Well, I'm glad to hear that, Raj, because I don't think the world is ready for those legs.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, Shel. Hi, Dwayne.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WELL, WHERE'S RAJ AND RERUN? WELL, ReRun should be here any minute. Raj is dressing his legs. His legs?
I've seen them, Dwayne. Those aren't legs. Those are two skinny pencils with the erasers in the middle.
Yeah, well, they better hurry up if we going to make it to the TV studio in time for the show.
Hey, don't worry. ReRun will make sure we get in. Hey, well, you know, that's the advantage of living with a TV executive.
Hey, Sugie.
HEY, MAN OF THE HOUR. ALL RIGHT, MAN.
Let's go. We're all ready.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Great.
You don't sound so excited.
Well, why should he be? I mean, this is just another show for you, right, pal?
No, it's not just another show, Raj.
It's my last show.
What is he talking about?
What are you talking about? I've decided to quit. QUIT? WHY?
WELL, I thought THAT BEING A PAGE WOULD HELP me get into acting, but so far the only lines I've gotten to say are step this way, no smoking, please, and the ever popular ladies room to the left, men's room TO THE RIGHT.
IT'S DULL, BORING.
HEY, RERUN, why don't you switch it say, ladies room to the right, men's room to the left? I mean, it would liven things up, huh?
I'VE HAD IT. I'M THROUGH WITH THAT JOB.
NOW, wait a minute, ReRun. Have you really thought this over? Yeah. I'm trapped in this uniform. Inside, there's an actor struggling to get out. Well, maybe if you let him out, that uniform WOULD FIT BETTER.
>> [laughter] >> RERUN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE HAPPY BEING A PAGE.
YEAH, but becoming an actor is a full-time job.
As long as I was a page, they never took me seriously.
For 6 months, I went to that casting office every day asking THEM, BEGGING THEM.
They've been turning me down. Maybe that's part of being a page, getting turned down.
>> [laughter] >> OH, COME ON, RERUN. LISTEN, MAN. FORGET ABOUT THE show and just go out and have some good eats.
>> No, no, no. That's been one of my problems, too. Every time things get tough, I EAT. IT'S TIME I GREW UP.
WE MADE A DATE TO SEE that show, and I'm sticking to it.
Hey, as a matter of fact, I'm going to take you on that backstage tour I've BEEN PROMISING YOU.
>> [laughter] >> OH, WOW, MAN, THAT'S TOUGH. I mean, it's your last show and your last tour. I mean, even though you're down and out, you still have time for your friends.
>> That's right.
>> I mean, even though tomorrow you'll be out of work, no job, no money, no rent.
[laughter] Finished, washed up, a loser.
>> Knock it off, DWAYNE.
>> [laughter] >> UH STEP THIS WAY. CAREFUL, WATCH THOSE CABLES. Watch those cables. Hey, that was great, Rerun. Yeah. Hey, watch Wait a minute. Come on, come on, come on, come this way. Rerun, I never laughed so hard in my life, man. Yeah, The Gong Show is always terrific.
>> [laughter] >> You know, my favorite was that dancing GOLDFISH THAT SANG.
I FELT KIND OF BAD WHEN HE DROWNED, THOUGH.
>> [laughter] >> YEAH, but if that fish had been a good swimmer, he wouldn't have been on The Gong Show.
Hey, man, this is all so exciting, Rerun. Did you see those dressing rooms?
Um Cindy Williams, Penny Marshall, and Ron Howard.
Rerun, how could you leave all this hair? Yeah, man. It's the only way there'll be a dressing room marked Frederick Stubbs. Hey, let's get going.
Come on, step this WAY, STEP THIS WAY.
FREDERICK STUBBS, I LIKE THAT. WATCH THE CABLES OVER THERE. OKAY, WATCH THE LIGHT. OKAY. Let me through, let me in the front. I need to be in the front.
Okay, let me be in the front.
>> [laughter] >> Okay, for the first stop on our tour, I'll show you the wardrobe room.
JUST LET ME GET the lights IN, OKAY? I KNOW. OKAY, THEN, come on, step right in. Fantastic stuff.
Fantastic stuff.
You know, this is where they keep all the clothes for all the ABC shows. Oh, here are the scripts they used. Hey, look at those racks over there. Barney Miller, Laverne and Shirley, Starsky and Hutch. Racks. Look Look over here. Ooh.
>> [laughter] >> CHARLIE'S ANGELS.
UH LOOK OVER HERE.
HAPPY DAYS. And of course, you know who this belongs to.
Oh, sure, Bent Man, the Fonz. He's great. You know, it's all IN THE BREAKS YOU GET. If only they'd given this leather jacket to me instead of Henry Winkler, I bet I could have been the Fonz. Yeah.
You sure could.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, yeah, right. Sure he could. You could have been the Fonz, right?
Yeah, yeah.
>> [laughter] >> If only I had a chance, a chance at the Fonz.
>> [laughter] [music] [laughter] >> Hi, Potsie.
Hi, Richie.
The Fonz, where's the Fonz? I got to talk to the Fonz, Potsie. Oh, gee willikers, Richie, he's not here yet. Is it important? Yeah, it's about a girl.
That's important.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, that must be the Fonz now.
>> [laughter] >> HEY.
HI, FONZ. WHO SAID YOU COULD SPEAK, NERD? HERE, POTSIE.
Try not to SMUDGE THE CHROME.
GOSH OH GOLLY, FONZIE, can I have permission to talk to you? IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. HEY, WATCH THE leather condiment. I'm >> Fonzie. I'm sorry.
Seems to be the problem.
Fonzie, it's it's about a girl, Fonzie.
I need a girl, Fonzie. No problem, Cunningham.
Come over Monday night. That's when I put out the leftovers. Hey.
>> [laughter] >> Fonzie, I can't wait till Monday, Fonzie. I promised tomorrow night, Fonzie. I got to get a date, Fonzie.
It's a matter of life or death.
Life or death?
Yeah, if I don't get a date, I'll just die. And can [snorts] I watch?
Potsie?
>> [laughter] >> Yeah?
Sit on it.
Sure thing, Fonzie.
Where's my chair? GET ME A CHAIR, CUNNINGHAM. GET ME GET ME A CHAIR.
>> [laughter] >> ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO GET CUNNINGHAM here a date.
Maybe you got a spare, Fonzie.
>> A SPARE, FONZIE? IMPOSSIBLE. THERE'S only one Fonzie. When they made me, they broke THE MOLD. HEY.
>> [laughter] >> RICHIE. RICHIE. MOTHER says you have to come home RIGHT NOW. BUT WHY? It's almost 7:30. Time for bed.
OH, GEE. GOSH, GOLLY, GOSH, GOLLY, GOSH, GOSH, GOLLY, GOSH, GOSH, GOSH, GOSH.
>> [laughter] >> I HAVE THREE MORE LEFT, FONZIE. GOSH, GOLLY, GOSH.
SIT.
>> [laughter] >> FONZIE, WHAT AM I GOING to do now?
Well, I just noticed a beautiful young lady sitting over there by herself drinking a soda.
>> [laughter] >> OH, JUMPING GRASSHOPPERS, FONZIE.
OH, she's she's beautiful, Fonzie. She's a teenage dream.
Why don't you ask her for a date, Rich?
I don't even know her.
I know her.
You do?
Would you introduce me to her?
You're my brother, of course I'll introduce you to her. Oh, thanks, sis.
FOR FIVE BUCKS.
>> [laughter] >> ONCE YOU'VE SEEN ONE SISTER, YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL.
>> [laughter] >> SO RIGHT HERE, KENNY, THE FONZ IS HANDLING IT FOR YOU, absolutely gratis.
What does that mean, Fonz? I don't know, but it's so classy.
Now watch this. You're about to see a master, the ladies' man, do what he was put on this earth to do.
I'm watching, FONZ. I'M WATCHING.
>> [laughter] >> EXCUSE ME, MY BEAUTIFUL, exquisite June.
I couldn't help but notice your shiny face across this crowded room.
I was drawn to it like a moth TO A FLAME.
>> [laughter] >> AND I KNOW YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY, RIGHT?
HEY.
WRONG. HEY.
OH, tell me, who's your good-looking friend over here?
Hi, handsome.
Hi, beautiful.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, I'm Fonz. Hey, don't you remember me?
I'M THE FONZ. I'M THE FONZ. HEY. HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
HEY.
>> [laughter] >> YEAH, you're right. You make a great Fonz. Yeah, that's a part I can REALLY GET INTO.
>> [laughter] >> WELL, FIRST YOU GOT TO FIND A JACKET YOU CAN GET INTO.
HEY.
I feel like that goldfish on the Gong Show.
Wow. Hey, hey, hey. Three's company.
Maybe that's the show I could have done.
>> [laughter] >> Well, you already ripped a leather jacket.
Well, you guys been careful. You were liable to ruin Suzanne Somers' entire wardrobe. I could really do something with that part. Imagine sharing an apartment with two beautiful girls.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, Janet.
Janet.
Jack, what is it?
Can I have a kiss?
Please. What would Chrissy say? Well, I asked her last night and she said no.
The answer is still no. That's right.
>> [laughter] >> Is this Three's Company or Nothing's Happening?
Well, I guess you girls will loosen up on the cruise.
What cruise? I booked us on a swinging singles cruise to Acapulco. I can see it now.
The warm, glistening sands, the swaying palm trees, the moonlight shining on the rippling water. [laughter] And our rent money drifting out to sea.
BUT, WHAT A WAY TO GO.
WOW.
JACK, don't tell me you spent our rent money on those cruise tickets. Janet!
It's my shuffleboard on.
But, Mr. Roper said he's coming up in 5 minutes to collect the rent money.
Maybe Chrissy has some money.
Chrissy. Oh, Chrissy.
Chrissy, come out here.
YES, JACK.
YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL, I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY.
The rent money? Oh, yeah. Chrissy, do you know where I can get $250?
>> [laughter] >> Search me.
I'D LOVE TO.
THAT MUST BE MR. ROPER. I'LL GET IT. NO, NO, NO, NO. I think he wants to rent >> We don't have it. It might not be him, Jack.
See, you're wrong. It's not Mr. Roper.
It's Mrs. Roper.
And her husband.
Hi, Mr. Roper. Yeah, hi, kids. We're here, the redhead and the deadhead.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, Mrs. Roper, your hair looks wonderful. Who does it? Earl Shy.
>> [laughter] >> Oh, it's not bad for $39.95, huh?
Looks like prices are going to somebody what thrown in.
>> [laughter] >> I mean, your hair looks lovely, too.
Thank you. I do it myself. I tease it every morning. Girl, how do you do that?
Well, I stand in front of the mirror and I go, "Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na."
>> [laughter] [clears throat] >> Look, I come for the rent, 250 smackeroos, please. We don't have it.
Oh, too bad. I'm afraid I got to throw the three of you out. PLEASE LET US STAY. PLEASE LET US STAY. OUT! ROPER, OUT YOU GO!
OUT YOU GO!
OUT YOU GO. COME ON, YOU guys don't belong here. Now, let's move it. Let's get out of here. Please let me explain.
>> You get out of that page's uniform.
>> Now, hold on there, officer. This is mine. I just happen to be employed by this network.
>> Oh, yeah?
Prove it.
All right.
Step this way. No smoking, please.
Ladies room to the left, men's room to the right.
YOU'RE A PAGE.
OKAY, STUBS, BUT UH FINISH UP fast and get your friends out of here, okay?
Right. Thanks. Thank you.
Sorry, guys. I guess the tour is over.
Yeah, well, we really had a great time.
>> Mhm. Yeah, we should do And the next time we come backstage, it'll be to visit Frederick Stubbs, the actor.
Really?
>> Hey.
Hey, let's get out of here. Is everything back where it belongs?
Hey, wait a minute. Who does this belong to?
>> [laughter] >> Who has two legs, come from another planet, and says nano nano? Mork.
>> [laughter] >> Hey, that wasn't too bad, Weeron. Yeah.
Hey, maybe if you gotten a break, that's who you could have been.
Me?
Mork.
>> [music] [laughter] [laughter] >> Hi, Mork.
Hi, Mindy.
I just got a hot flash from planet Mork.
Says or sizzle.
>> [laughter] >> Thanks, I needed that.
Now, what are you talking about?
Have a seat. Okay.
Some close relatives are coming to visit. All the way from Mork? I guess you could call them DISTANT CLOSE RELATIVES.
>> [laughter] >> MORK. I THINK THEIR EGG IS ARRIVING.
>> [laughter] >> IT'S taking them a long time to get here.
>> No, it was a 3-minute egg. Mork. Mork.
>> [laughter] >> Why are they coming? To make sure I'm living with the right Earth person.
To observe and to report on these things you Earthlings call emotions.
Are they coming here to check me out?
BUT I'M NOT PREPARED. I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT to say or to do, Mork.
>> Don't worry, Mindy.
I'll have time to brief you before they get here so that you don't embarrass yourself.
Sorry, Mindy. You're on your own.
>> [laughter] >> Come in.
Mindy, I like you to meet my relatives from Ork. This is cousin Stork and cousin Gork.
Hi, Stork. HI, GORK.
>> [laughter] [laughter] >> WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID? OF COURSE NOT, MINDY. What they're trying to say is, may our friendship last for as many years as there are pieces on the floor.
Oh, yeah? Well, we have a saying here on Earth. When a turkey breaks a dish, HE CLEANS IT UP.
YOU MUST BE TIRED FROM YOUR LONG JOURNEY. WOULD YOU like a refreshment?
>> [laughter] >> Do you have any cork, Mork?
>> [laughter] >> Coming right up.
Mindy, some cork for Gork and Stork. I don't think we have any cork, Mork. SURE WE DO.
RED OR WHITE?
>> [laughter] >> I'LL HAVE A LITTLE OF BOTH.
>> [laughter] >> Nanoo nanoo.
Shall I play 77?
>> [laughter] >> Would you play 78?
Close game.
Gork, start. No, thanks. I'm driving.
>> [laughter] >> He is looking AT YOU.
>> [laughter] >> GREAT. OKAY, SMOOTH AND DELICIOUS.
We have come for the show of emotions.
Let us begin.
Begin what? This is very important, Mindy. You must give Gork and Stork all the emotions they ask for.
Where's our list, Gork?
Our list.
Where's our list of emotions?
>> [laughter] >> Laughter, anger, fear, passion, and sorrow.
>> [laughter] >> I can't turn my emotions on and off just like that, Pork.
That's Mork.
I'm sorry. You have to try, Mindy.
Laughter. That should be an easy one for you. You mean just laugh? Sure. Tell yourself a funny story.
>> [laughter] >> I got one.
Okay, I got one.
A man came up to me on the street and he said he hadn't had a bite all day. So, I BIT HIM.
>> [laughter] [laughter] >> SORRY, MINDY. I HAVE TO GO. GO?
It looks like the end for us. They say all your emotions are phony.
Heavy sigh. Heavy heavy sigh. Oh, [laughter] I'm going to miss you, Mork.
>> I'm going to miss you, too, Mindy.
Heavy heavy sobs.
>> [laughter] >> Heavy.
Heavy.
Heavy.
Heavy.
Heavy.
>> [music] >> Heavy.
Heavy.
What do you mean, Who you CALLING HEAVY, FOOL?
>> [laughter] >> I'M SORRY, SHIRLEY. FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT I WAS MARK and you were Mindy.
Mindy?
Rerun, come on, pal. Pull yourself together. You get your break yet?
>> [laughter] >> Oh, Rerun, don't worry. You'll get a break.
Thanks for the tour, Rerun. It was great.
>> Yes, ma'am. We had a good I guess we better put everything back. Okay.
>> Put everything back, everybody. Let's get out of here. Okay, we can go. We had a lot of fun. Did you enjoy it? It's about this way. It's not A BAD JOB.
IT WAS FANTASTIC, wasn't it? And I had a good time. Nice place.
Hey, Rerun, I bet you someday they'll have your name up here on these walls.
>> You bet. Yeah, all I need is one brick.
That's one brick. Just Just coming in.
What? Stop. I've been looking all over for you. I'm glad I caught you here.
What is this? A summons? No, no, no. A message from the studio casting office.
It's marked urgent.
>> Studio casting office? Urgent? Oh, yeah, that's what it says. LOOK AT IT.
THE ENVELOPE, LEE.
>> [laughter] >> IT HAPPENED. IT FINALLY HAPPENED. I GOT A JOB AS AN ACTOR.
HEY, IT SAYS I START first thing in the morning. I finally GOT MY BREAK. FOLLOW THE STARS.
>> [laughter] [screaming] >> WHAT A TERRIFIC SHOW.
AND WHAT A great idea for a TV movie, The Network Murders.
>> Yeah.
When do you come in, Rerun?
>> Soon. Soon. Hey, well, I hope so. We rented this color TV in your honor.
Ooh, I just can't wait. Just think, your first acting job.
>> Yeah.
Look, there's the killer.
Oh.
He's getting away from the cops. Hey, he's breaking into THE TV STUDIO. LOOK, [laughter] LOOK, LOOK.
WHERE ARE YOU, RERUNS? SOON, SOON.
THAT'S A MEAN DUDE. Look at him toppling those people.
Look, look at >> [laughter] >> Hey. Hey. You.
I'm looking for the boss of the network.
Don't look at me. I'M JUST A PAGE.
UH STEP THIS WAY. NO PARKING, PLEASE.
Men's room to the right. Ladies room >> [applause] [music]
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