Started 2 Years Ago - Cookie Interview

本站添加: 2026-05-18

[00:00:12]Hello, Mim.

[00:00:14]>> Hey, >> it's very nice to meet you today.

[00:00:16]>> Nice to meet you as well.

[00:00:17]>> You're speaking with USA Fox. Welcome to the channel. I'm here to give a voice to the voice list.

[00:00:23]May I have your name?

[00:00:25]>> Um, my name is Georgia, but they call me Cookie on the streets.

[00:00:27]>> They call you what?

[00:00:28]>> Cookie. Cookie. Okay.

[00:00:31]>> All right. Cookie, where you from?

[00:00:33]>> Franklinville, New Jersey.

[00:00:36]>> From Jersey, you said?

[00:00:37]>> Yeah. Franklinville.

[00:00:38]>> Franklinville. Okay. All right.

[00:00:40]>> Went to do.

[00:00:41]>> How old are you?

[00:00:42]>> 36.

[00:00:44]>> What was it like growing up out there?

[00:00:46]>> Oh, mom was a bomb. I ain't going to hold you. If you hung out with me as a kid, like you we was always getting in summer. It was always something exciting and I always got we always did crazy stuff. But I liked growing up even though I was always in trouble.

[00:01:01]And uh what led to you coming out here at Camden, New Jersey?

[00:01:04]>> Um I wind uh me and my ex-husband um out here and then um it was more cheaper for us to live out here at the time.

[00:01:13]So that's why I was out here.

[00:01:15]>> Okay. You guys still together?

[00:01:18]Ex-husband?

[00:01:19]>> Um no, we are separated. Been separated for like 5 years now.

[00:01:23]>> Okay. And you've been out here ever since or >> I've been in Camden since 2013 14.

[00:01:31]>> No, 2015 cuz um yeah, I was pregnant with my daughter. So 2015.

[00:01:35]>> What's it like out here in Camden for you?

[00:01:38]>> I used to love Camden when I was working. I used to love it. Like everybody show love. But now that I'm on the other side and I'm homeless and and and in the drug world, it's it's it's it's definitely an eye opener. It's definitely something different for sure.

[00:01:53]When did this happen? When did you become homeless?

[00:01:55]>> I became homeless in October of last year. Um illegally, by the way. Um and um I've been homeless ever since.

[00:02:06]>> How did how did it happen? How did it transpire?

[00:02:09]>> Um I w up moving back to Camden in December of uh 20 well 2024 was it? And um I moved back to my old place that I had and um it was a miscommunication with the person that was staying there that was renting out while I was in Vinland when I bought my house. And um the rent wasn't paid up to where it was supposed to. So I had a little bit backed up rent and then um when I tried to pay it, they refused to take it. And then when they refused to take it, they made a whole bunch of conceptions. I really just think that they were just trying to get me out cuz I was there for 10 years. Because everybody that's been there longer than a certain amount of time, they're out. So who knows? And I never got any of my car paperwork. So I the last time I was evicted illegally and I'm disabled so I shouldn't even be evicted. You >> disabled too?

[00:02:52]>> Yeah, I got MS. >> MS. And then I have a few uh mental issues, but um >> What's it like dealing with the MS?

[00:03:00]>> It's a piece of work, man. Like I'm hurting all the time.

[00:03:04]>> All the time I'm hurting. And then that's one of the reasons why I do what I do.

[00:03:09]>> What do you do?

[00:03:10]>> Um I do hair and um crack.

[00:03:13]So, um, I started off doing dope and, um, I actually started off doing percoets for the pain management and then they w up taking me off the percoets quick. And then when they took me off, it was like they didn't even wean me off. They just took me off cold blood. And you can't do that to somebody that's on medication for so long. So, I'd rather pay $5 for a bag of dope than pay $40 for a pill that's going to only last me for a few hours. So, at least I get a bag of dope and $40 I get six like I can get six bags and I'll be good for a day.

[00:03:43]How often are you using the substance?

[00:03:46]>> All day long.

[00:03:48]>> Like like how many times a day would you say?

[00:03:50]>> Um right now I do about seven eight caps a day of dope.

[00:03:55]>> 78 caps >> and about $200 worth of crack a day.

[00:04:00]>> $200 worth of crack?

[00:04:01]>> Yeah.

[00:04:02]>> How you managing to make money out here?

[00:04:05]>> Well, I um for the most part I I'm cool with a lot of the uh the dealers. You feel what I'm saying? like I work for them. Like I do store runs, all types of stuff. So I'm not not just somebody that's sitting on her ass all day long.

[00:04:16]Like >> I really be out here trying to get money. Like I'm not somebody that weeds off somebody. You know what I mean? It's a struggle sometimes, but I'm cool with a lot of people and a lot of people, you know, they look out and they make sure I'm straight.

[00:04:28]>> Mhm.

[00:04:30]>> How long have you been in this type of turmoil? As you say, >> I've been as far as like do what? Doing drugs?

[00:04:37]>> Yeah. and like consistently like daily.

[00:04:41]>> Um, where I'm at at this moment?

[00:04:45]>> Yeah, you on this run.

[00:04:46]>> Um, I've only started doing drugs two years ago.

[00:04:49]>> Two years ago.

[00:04:50]>> That's it. I've never done I was a pie head all my life. I just started doing hard drugs.

[00:04:55]>> You say your did your your ex-husband start you up or how did it >> No. Um, I I would just say a friend. Um, I actually saw my friend happy and it made him look and he looked happy and I wanted to feel how he felt. So, I know it sounds weird to be saying that cuz I'm like I'm like, "Oh, you're 36 years old. You grown as hell. Why would you do that?" Like, when you see somebody else happiness and you've been in such depression and hurt, like you want to be happy, so you want to take that chance.

[00:05:27]And I mean, I took the chance and I liked it. So, like I'm not going to sit there and say that I liked it.

[00:05:32]Obviously, if I'm still here, you know, >> you still like it.

[00:05:36]>> Um, honestly, to keep it real, like it takes my pain away. So, yes, I do like it. Um, I'm a person that doesn't like to face her pain. And there's a lot of stuff that I have not healed from over the last I'm 30ome years old, so there's a lot of things that I've been through that I haven't even dealt with that I just swept underneath the rug. It just so happens that when my children were took it from me, that was it. I've always, anybody that knows me, anybody that's ever been around me will tell you that I was always a mother first. And I always said if they ever took if anybody ever took away my kids, I was going downhill. So it was like, you know, when they took my kids from me, it was a wrap for me. So now I'm just doing anything and everything. And I know that sounds selfish, but like this is the only thing that's keeping me alive right now.

[00:06:21]Seriously.

[00:06:22]>> Isn't it more painful? Don't you think?

[00:06:24]like >> using everything.

[00:06:27]>> I know you you get like a little good feeling.

[00:06:30]>> Oh yeah. Like if I don't use I'm in pain. Like MS I already my body's already deteriorating in front of you.

[00:06:35]You know what I mean? So it's like when I don't use it's painful as hell. Like I there's days that I just wake up and I don't want to wake up no more because it's it be that much pain that I be in.

[00:06:44]But it's like on days like today like today was a good day. You know what I mean? Like I'm it was a good day. I was I was with you know my sister-in-law that I miss so dearly. You know, we just we be chilling. So days like today will make me this is why like I'll still continue.

[00:06:58]You know, I don't let my hard times overpower it, which is stupid, but you know, >> it was a good day today.

[00:07:07]>> Yeah, it was. It was a good day.

[00:07:09]>> It was day.

[00:07:11]>> Yeah, it's it's beautiful outside. It ain't raining. I ate today. Usually when I eat, it's always a good day. I ate. I have to, you know, >> grateful.

[00:07:19]>> I ain't have to be out here doing [ __ ] you know.

[00:07:23]So, it was a good day today. Honestly, >> you miss your old life.

[00:07:27]>> You damn right I do. Hell yeah. I was a [ __ ] baddie my whole life. Like, I don't even mean to say it like that, but like, you know, the way that they treat you out here is crazy, bro. Like, I never I was the type of person that like I worked so much. I was making I was making so much good money. Like, I was making like three grand every two weeks cuz I was working so much. I did 160 hours every two weeks. like I was a a a manager for group homes for individuals that were autistic, non-verbals, you know what I mean? So, it's like I enjoy my job, you know what I mean? Um, I miss my money, the real money. I was the one that would get out the gas station and give the homeless people $20 and food at the same time. Like, to be on this end and to be treated the way I be treated, y'all, it makes me hate canon so much. I swear to God, there's something wrong with people out here. Like, people are weird as hell. They treat people like [ __ ] A lot of people act like they can never be in this position when the tables could turn so easily. Like people be forgetting that [ __ ] >> So, uh, I peeped, you know, I seen you on my Facebook. I guess we was friends probably from back in the day or something like that. You know how people interact and everything around the way.

[00:08:36]>> But, uh, I think you know my boy Need.

[00:08:40]>> It's my baby.

[00:08:41]>> He your baby?

[00:08:42]>> Yeah.

[00:08:43]>> Is he locked up right now or something?

[00:08:45]I haven't heard from him in a while.

[00:08:46]>> Um, yeah, he is.

[00:08:50]>> He is. Okay.

[00:08:51]>> Yeah. But I'm glad he is though cuz we're going to get knee back.

[00:08:56]>> What?

[00:08:56]>> The real need. DJ need >> me back.

[00:09:00]>> Okay. Okay. Yeah.

[00:09:01]>> Happy for that.

[00:09:02]>> Yeah. Come on sober though.

[00:09:04]>> Yeah. He sounds really Oh, he sounds so good. So so good. It just sound like his voice is back to who he used to, you know what I mean? Like his voice is back to who he is. Like I'm just I'm I'm happy. Like, of course it sucks that he's in jail, but I'm happy because like he not out here, yo. Like, >> yeah.

[00:09:21]>> He's safe and I ain't got to worry about him, you know?

[00:09:23]>> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm glad you uh still kicking rocket for >> you already. That's Look, I don't care what anybody says. We might talk [ __ ] about each other. We might do. That is my It's always going to be cookie and like I'm not going to wor my That's always going to be mine.

[00:09:39]Period.

[00:09:40]>> Mhm.

[00:09:41]>> And vice versa.

[00:09:42]>> Yeah. I see people on uh Facebook and he had too many good words to say about him.

[00:09:47]>> A lot of people are disappointed because um when I started dealing with him, I definitely wasn't the same person. Um more so my son.

[00:10:02]>> Mhm.

[00:10:09]My kids are really taking us all. But you know, like my kids don't understand or people don't understand that um uh people don't understand like, you know, being at this age right now, going through [ __ ] and then having to deal with MS and then have to deal with other sicknesses. You feel what I'm saying?

[00:10:31]Like I only have a short period of time, you feel me? So it's like I have to get plan made. You feel me? There's a lot lot of stuff mentally that I have to deal with. So like my son my son's really upset with me. But you know one of these days he's going to understand when you have to make decisions >> that um you don't want to make but you have to. You feel me? But um I want my like everybody says that I'm being selfish cuz I'm not getting clean for my kids. But what people fail don't realize is like I have to worry about me and I'm not I can't just go into rehab because if I'm not ready I'm going to be right back out here in the street. So, why would I want to waste my time, money, and somebody else's time if I know that I'm not ready? You know what I mean?

[00:11:07]Like, everybody keeps saying like, "Get clean, get clean." But people not asking like what's wrong or what I'm really going through. Like, people are just assuming cuz of the little things I do tell them.

[00:11:18]You know what I mean? Like, nobody really knows what's going on mentally.

[00:11:20]You feel me? But my son, I'm proud of him. He's such a good dad.

[00:11:27]>> Oh, your son is a dad. I'm a >> Yeah, he's a Oh my god, he's amazing.

[00:11:32]Like he's so I'm so proud of him. Like for the most part, I raised him good, you know, and I understand like he's mad at me. But um he's a he's an amazing [ __ ] dad.

[00:11:44]That's one thing I can say. And he's handling his business and he's he's 17 years old. He got a job, taking care of his daughter. My granddaughter is beautiful and he's you know what I mean?

[00:11:54]He's doing his thing with his girlfriend. Like my my that's my god daughter. my other child that I didn't birth, but like I raised, you know what I mean? Like they're both mad at me. But you know what? I'm hoping one of these days they will understand like I'm hurting. You know what I mean? I'm really going through something and I have to be selfish right now. And it sounds [ __ ] up to say, but I have to be selfish. Like >> where do you see yourself in the next 6 months?

[00:12:23]>> I'm hopefully clean, honestly. Um, I'm just waiting for Ne to come home.

[00:12:30]>> Um, once he get home clean.

[00:12:31]>> Yeah. Once he come home clean, we out.

[00:12:33]Like I'm I'm a lot of things like we we getting out of Camden. You know what I mean?

[00:12:38]>> Cuz if we don't get out of here, we either going to die or we going to die one of these days. Like it's it's not all peaches and cream out here. You feel me? Like we just wait for him. Me and his sister. We just we keep saying it.

[00:12:50]Countdown, countdown, countdown. And when he get home, the day he come home, we out. I'll have we'll have a run on.

[00:12:55]We we going to a different state. We getting the hell out of here. You know what I mean? God rest his mom stole.

[00:12:59]Like she passed away and they they don't have nothing else that's keeping them here. And >> my kids is my one kids is in Virginia.

[00:13:07]My other kids is in Rland. And you know I need to get out of Jersey. I need something different.

[00:13:13]>> Yeah. I heard that. How long did you uh know Ne for?

[00:13:18]>> I used to change his diapers. You >> to change his diapers?

[00:13:21]>> I used to change Neie's diaper. Yes, I did. I know him. Me and his sisters been friends since we were like 10, 11 years old. Like he's 8 years younger than me, which is don't judge. But um I'm just saying he persuaded me and stalked me for like 5 6 months. But no, he didn't stalk. But he was very consistent. But um yeah, I didn't know it was fat ass he uh cuz he was a little fat porker when he was younger. So it was like I didn't know it was him until I seen a picture of him and his sister online. And I was like, "Wait a second, that's your sister?" He was like, "Yeah." I was like, "You know your sister was my best friend for like ever. So yeah, I used to change E's diapers. Me and his sister talked about the one time he he had an Instagram where he [ __ ] everywhere and his sister couldn't pick it up and she made me do it. But yeah, it's been I've known him for years.

[00:14:05]>> So So basically he he started talking to you. You ain't even know it was him.

[00:14:10]>> I did. He lost so much weight. Like he looked so different and I didn't know I didn't I don't know him as DJ Ne, >> right?

[00:14:16]>> I know him as a [ __ ] Like you know what I mean? I know him by his real name. You feel what I'm saying? like I know him as so I didn't know him as DJ knee but >> um yeah and then when I started talking to him >> con artist now he's a slick mouth but you know what he's a sweetheart um him the way he ra the way he treated his mom and his grandmas what made me fall for him was such a good he was so good to them like he respected them like he was just a mama's boy for real >> so it was cute so I liked him surprisingly Right.

[00:14:51]>> Is it scary out here on these streets?

[00:14:53]>> You damn [ __ ] right it is.

[00:14:55]>> And I live in a graveyard. I'd rather be a whole bunch of dead people than a whole bunch of alive. Let me tell you that.

[00:15:00]>> You live in a graveyard.

[00:15:01]>> I live in a graveyard. Yes, I sleep in a graveyard.

[00:15:04]>> I ain't going to lie. That just kind of spooked me out a little.

[00:15:07]>> Why? I'm a medium. They don't You didn't hear about me. I talked to the dead. I'm a real medium. Like, I've done 43 readings out here and I've been on point with every single one of them. Anybody that knows that never had a reading by me will tell you I'm a beast with that.

[00:15:19]And I'm really a real one. Like I'm not out here saying that I talk to the dead and I'm really not. Like I really I really get to talk to your family and I'm really good at what I do.

[00:15:29]>> So So what you got? Something set up in there to sleep? You got >> um um I do I have a little little something something in there. At night time I bring it out and daytime before it hits time before the police and stuff come I put it up.

[00:15:41]>> You say you do readings. Are you religious at all or? No.

[00:15:44]>> I'm spiritual.

[00:15:45]>> Spiritual.

[00:15:46]>> I was raised Catholic. I was Christian for a while. I was Muslim for a little bit too and I'm just I'm just religion.

[00:15:51]Everything's the same to me. Everything was I feel like everything was handmade.

[00:15:55]Like the only thing that makes sense is just I know there's a God up there and I know there I think there's a different god for everything. Um but there's definitely something out there and there's definitely another world.

[00:16:04]>> Is it a form of witchcraft what you practice or something?

[00:16:06]>> Um I mean if that's what you want to call it. Um >> but I mean everything's the same. If you pray like we manifest, we pray if we you know what I mean? It's everything's the same to me. Like it's just different words for different things. So, I wouldn't necessarily call it uh witchcraft. Like I just >> I don't know.

[00:16:22]>> Just into different things. I ain't mad at you. Yeah.

[00:16:25]>> Yeah.

[00:16:25]>> Sounds cool.

[00:16:29]>> Um what's your thoughts for Camden? You think it'll ever change?

[00:16:32]>> [ __ ] no. I think it's going to get worse. And then the generation, new generation that's coming up.

[00:16:36]>> Mhm.

[00:16:39]>> I Man, I feel bad for it.

[00:16:41]>> And I I feel bad for my kids as well because it's just getting worse and worse and worse. Like the way these kids is being raised, half the things they do, I would I wouldn't even think to do it. So, you know, >> what's the craziest thing you've seen out here or experienced?

[00:16:59]>> I've seen a lot of stuff out here, trust me. Um, I don't even know. There's so much [ __ ] that go on here. It's crazy. I just seen a girl get beat to death.

[00:17:09]Literally beat to death.

[00:17:11]>> Literally beat to death. I didn't even know she was dead. I just walked away.

[00:17:13]Like cuz at this like out here there's certain things you can't do. You feel me?

[00:17:17]>> Lit by the hand. Like literally bare hands beat the [ __ ] out of her. So I felt bad like we like you could only say stop stop but there's no these cops don't give a [ __ ] out here. I'm going to keep it a beating. They do not care.

[00:17:29]Like you can call the cops all day long.

[00:17:30]They are not coming. The only way they are going to come out here is if it's something that they got they're going to benefit from. And I I hate to say it but like you hear gunshots all day. They ain't coming.

[00:17:39]>> Shoot. They not coming.

[00:17:41]>> So what that mean? That guy is still roaming the streets.

[00:17:44]>> I don't know. I have no idea. I have no idea. God rest the girl soul. You know what I mean? Like I have no idea. I I haven't seen him. You know what I mean?

[00:17:51]But you know I again I don't really I be in one spot. One stop. One spot only.

[00:17:56]Like >> I don't deal with a lot of people.

[00:17:58]>> Be careful out here if they out here just beating women. She must have stole his money or something. But that's still not >> what she did. I I like I said I go to a very small area. I am near Brown and Indicator and then I go around the my old apartment complex and that's it. Like I stay in a graveyard like I don't put myself in positions anymore.

[00:18:20]Trust one thing for sure or two things for certain being out on these streets that'll make you realize some [ __ ] You can't trust a damn near soul. That's for sure.

[00:18:29]>> Why do you choose to stay in a graveyard over a shelter?

[00:18:32]>> I have tried getting into shelters. Um I I and I'm disabled, but I have gotten I got help like 10 years ago. So in Jersey, they only do a year like you only get a year in New Jersey to get help. Um I have reached out and don't get I'm not saying that I've had to have a lot of people help me out, >> but um a lot of the things is a lot of people want to help me out, but they but they rules and I don't like other people's rules. I'm grown as I'm not going to listen to somebody else. That's that's that's my stubbornness. You know what I mean?

[00:18:59]>> Right. Right. Right.

[00:19:01]>> I don't like authority figures. Period.

[00:19:04]Hm.

[00:19:04]>> I don't like authority figures.

[00:19:09]>> What advice would you give a youth out here ripping and running the streets following in your same footsteps?

[00:19:13]>> It's not worth it. If you can go home, be home with your mom. Enjoy your mom and dad's. Enjoy their time. Stay home as long as you can. Go to school as long as you can. Do not come out on these streets. And guess what? These streets is not They don't love nobody. We just another number out on these streets. So be with somebody that you love. Be with your mom and dad. Cuz I wish I can go back home with my mom.

[00:19:31]>> Mhm.

[00:19:31]>> For real.

[00:19:32]Have you ever overdosed?

[00:19:34]>> 11 times in the last year. Four of them was purposely tried to commit suicide four times.

[00:19:38]>> You said 11 times.

[00:19:40]>> 11 times in the last year. Yes.

[00:19:42]>> The last four was purposely.

[00:19:46]>> Last four times is purposely.

[00:19:48]>> The la the last experience that I had.

[00:19:50]The last experience I had was the one that scared the [ __ ] out of me.

[00:19:54]>> Okay. You say you purposely went in the alleyway. So >> yeah, I went to a dark alleyway. Um cuz I didn't want nobody to find me. I was already I'm like I'm I I suffer from really bad depression like bad depression and I just I was over it and I specifically got two bags of the fox dope and went to the alleyway and took both of them. But the way the crazy thing is when I woke up I didn't know who this man was. I I never seen this man day in my life. I don't even know how the hell he failed. Like I was in a dark alley. I don't even know how this man found me. He lked me. I looked down.

[00:20:25]I was like I woke up pissed. Like why would you wake me up? Like why would you even know? Like why would you even do that [ __ ] Like I purposely I'm back here for a reason obviously. I literally turned this way cuz I heard commotion stuff at the end. I looked and looked looked when I turned back the dude was gone.

[00:20:39]>> But before he left and turned he told me I said when I asked him why would you do that? He was like it's not your time to go baby. I was like the [ __ ] Like what you mean? I'm I'm in control of that.

[00:20:48]Like I'm going to go. And when he said that like I turned like I said I turned that way before but for the commotion.

[00:20:53]When I turned back he was born. And I still been looking for this guy. I have not seen this guy yet bro. Not yet. And then gives me chills because like really I've never seen a guy go a day in my life. And for him to me and tell me that it wasn't my time to go like that [ __ ] scary as like that's a scary situation.

[00:21:09]Like that's what scares me.

[00:21:10]>> Mhm.

[00:21:10]>> I can't even see you again. I'll be out here looking for you. I can't find you.

[00:21:13]That's crazy.

[00:21:15]>> How you think your kids would feel if you was to go out like that?

[00:21:21]>> I don't be thinking about that when I'm in my feelings like that. You feel me?

[00:21:25]your feeling.

[00:21:25]>> Like I don't not to be selfish, it's a like I don't even want to call it selfish, but when you in a mind frame where you just done with life, like my kids is good where they at, you know what I mean? Like they with they my oldest son with his girl like with Tiffany and and his girls family like Lamaya, like they good, you know what I mean? Like and the only one I can't find because you know what I mean is my son Lazarus.

[00:21:51]>> For the most part, my kids is good. You ever worry about them like you know for the most part um that loud loud truck. You ever worry about them falling in depression like you?

[00:22:03]>> Absolutely. My kids suffer from that.

[00:22:06]>> Yeah. See, >> but it's like >> that could happen. They be strong. You the You're the one that got to be strong.

[00:22:12]>> I'm tired of being strong. I've always been the strong one. That's why right now that's why I'm going through it as bad as I am right now for the last year because I'm always the strong one. It's always Oh, Georgia got you. Cookie got you. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. She'll give you a place to stay. She'll give you some money. I've always been that one. She'll give you money. She'll do this. And then when it was my turn and I was going through, I couldn't do that. I had to sweep my [ __ ] underneath the rug. I'm tired. I like this last year, I've been going on this run for so long because I'm really tired and I'm tired of being strong. You know what I mean? Like I'm weak right now.

[00:22:40]You know what I mean?

[00:22:41]>> You can help everybody, but you know, you got to focus on yourself.

[00:22:44]>> And that's my problem. And that's what I'm trying to do right now. Right now, I'm trying to focus on I know it's I'm doing what I'm doing right now, but right now I am focusing on I'm being selfish right now. Like I've helped everybody all my life. All my life I've helped every single I've had people stay in my house rentree eat my food. Like literally I've helped so many people in my life. Anybody that knows you to tell you I helped everybody >> and the only person you should have helped was you and yours. That's the problem.

[00:23:06]>> And I didn't. And that's why right now I'm in the way that I am. And I'm being as self as I am right now because I never was able to deal with a lot of the stuff that I've dealt with my ex my ex-husband that relationship. I have not been able to heal on [ __ ] And right now, that's what I'm trying to do. And that's >> stop trying and just go do it. You can do it.

[00:23:24]>> Yeah. I mean, >> you can do it.

[00:23:28]>> I'm getting there. You feel me?

[00:23:29]>> Focus on that and that only, you know?

[00:23:31]>> Yeah.

[00:23:32]>> On yourself. Nobody else.

[00:23:35]>> You're right. I That's >> If you got to cut everybody off, do it.

[00:23:38]>> That's where I'm at right now. I don't talk to nobody. The only person I've actually had conversations with is the dish and obviously me, but I only get to talk to him once a day. You know what I mean? Once if that if you know what I mean. But the only person that I've had been around and my other people's food has been helping me out a lot. But other than that, like I don't talk to people.

[00:23:56]Like I really am like I'm solo dooo.

[00:23:58]Like I don't trust a damn soul.

[00:24:00]>> You got to do what's best for you, Cookie.

[00:24:02]>> Absolutely. That's why right now like people probably say I'm selfish but I'm going through this right now because I've done pushed so much stuff underneath the rug that now now that I'm being selfish for me people are saying oh you're being selfish you need to take care of your kids bro I need this right now you know what I mean I need this right now cuz if I I'm not going to be the best mom I could be in the mind I have been now I'm not going to be able to like I'm [ __ ] up in my head right now like there's some things I haven't been able to deal with and I need to >> you know you know the reason they push you though >> I know they love me. Don't give me Listen, I never like I know I got a lot of people out there that love me and I and I don't want nobody to think I don't appreciate it, but it's like sometimes just please lay off cuz like a lot of people are using my drug addiction as a reason why they don't help me. Oh, we're not going to help you drug addiction. I don't like at the end of the day what like that's a whole another story. You feel me?

[00:24:54]>> Listen, they love you, but the main reason is they don't want to see you die. People are dropping like flies.

[00:25:02]Younger than me and you. You know, >> I know. I get it. You know what I mean?

[00:25:06]I mean, it is what it is.

[00:25:07]>> And you just told me you overdosed 11 times last year, you know? Only take one.

[00:25:12]>> I just I don't know. Like, then people need to understand that I'm really going through mentally. You know what I mean?

[00:25:17]I understand that. And that adding and they're being selfish telling me that I need to get clean because they miss me.

[00:25:22]Like, they're being selfish. That's how I feel. Like, they're being selfish when they like I understand they just want me to get clean. I get that. You feel me?

[00:25:29]like I just need them on the stand right now.

[00:25:31]Like I'm I need this right now. You feel me? I need it.

[00:25:36]>> Yeah. You You got to sit back and you got to brainstorm. You like you do you meditate. You meditate. You You talk to them spiritual guides you have and you figure it out.

[00:25:47]>> Trying to You know what I mean? I like everybody said go through therapy. I did that all my life. I got to find a different routine cuz I done therapy.

[00:25:54]I've been in program all my the state of New Jersey. technically my mom my mom and my dad gave gave up. They write to me when I was like >> so it's like I've been in programs and stuff all my life. So it's like I got to find a different route and right now that's what I'm doing and sorry it's taking way too long for everybody else.

[00:26:09]It's too long for everybody else. It's been it's been a year and everybody keeps Oh, it's been a year getting it together. You can't tell me how long my process is if you're not in my shoes.

[00:26:16]>> Right.

[00:26:17]>> So >> these shits these streets ain't got these shits these streets ain't got [ __ ] to offer you. You know that though.

[00:26:25]You know, they ain't got [ __ ] to offer you. And these drugs ain't doing [ __ ] for you. Just a waste of money when you think about it.

[00:26:31]>> Now, honestly, >> they keeping me alive right now. That's what I run for every day. And I know that sounds horrible to say, but they're the ones that's keeping me alive right now. Cuz my mind mentality is I don't even want to be here, but I'm here. So, if that's the only thing that's going to keep me alive, people better be happy that the drugs keep me alive because guess what?

[00:26:50]>> You don't think the medication don't work? It was It was working years ago.

[00:26:53]>> No. Hell no. medications make me feel more [ __ ] up.

[00:26:56]>> It was years ago though.

[00:26:58]>> Yeah, I know.

[00:27:00]>> Okay.

[00:27:01]I'd like to thank you for your time, Peach.

[00:27:04]>> I haven't been called Peach for years.

[00:27:06]That's when I was used to live in PSboro.

[00:27:08]>> Was that Is that the name you just told me? Nah, you ain't even know. 2014 call me Georgia Peach. I got tattooed on my chest. Yeah, sure did. Georgia Peach.

[00:27:18]>> She been around the block, huh?

[00:27:20]>> Listen, >> Paul, Franklinville, Kansas. I was everywhere. It's Paul's brother, Frank, Vinland, Milville, North Jersey. I used to be in New in Newark and Seven Fast, Seventh Street. I used to be everywhere.

[00:27:30]Listen, all over.

[00:27:33]What's the craziest hood?

[00:27:35]>> Oh, man.

[00:27:37]Craziest hood.

[00:27:40]I got to say Cam is probably one of the craziest. Like, New York is crazy, but I got to say Cam is one of the craziest ones to me. And I can't I mean, I got to admit to that, but I've seen some [ __ ] in a lot of places, bro. Like I've seen a lot of stuff, but I got to give it to Kim. The Cam is crazy. They just weird out here.

[00:27:56]>> God bless you. I'll be praying for you.

[00:27:58]Get the hell out of here.

[00:27:59]>> Thank you, babe. Appreciate it.