Wheelchair users answer ANY question | You Can't Ask That | Full Episode

Added: 2026-06-01

[00:00:03]Okay. All right.

[00:00:05]Should we take a look? First question.

[00:00:07]Or as they say Parliament, questions without notice. Why are you in a wheelchair? This is a pretty common question. I'm in a wheelchair because I love the parking.

[00:00:17]>> Why would they ask someone that anyway?

[00:00:19]Why are you in a wheelchair? Why would anyone ask that? Yeah. Mhm. I can see a kid on the street pointing at me and asking questions to the mom or the dad and you see the mom or dad sort of saying, "Shh, you know, don't don't don't point, don't look, don't ask." And they think they're being polite, but really what they're doing is teaching their child that my disability and my wheelchair is something to be ignored.

[00:00:41]>> I find that people find me a bit confronting.

[00:00:44]>> Mhm. I think it's really important that I just let them know, so I explain that I had a motor car accident, not broken my back and I can't walk, can't use my legs. If we weren't in wheelchairs, I'd be lying on the floor looking terribly like [ __ ] No, I'm in a wheelchair cuz I've got a muscle wasting disease and I was born with it. I can walk shorter distances, so some people only know me in a wheelchair and then my friends would probably only know me walking.

[00:01:12]>> Um well, I had a brick wall fall on top of me when I was at a swimming carnival and the [music] the wall collapsed and there was a bunch of us and I was pretty much the most injured. It's not funny you have to sit there and it's not as if you're sitting there and Not at all.

[00:01:24]>> I stood up after an hour of sunbathing and I walked to the ledge and I just fainted. Simple as that. Fainted off a cliff. And fell 25 m. That's not funny, sorry.

[00:01:33]>> No, it's I love that attitude. Okay, for me, I have cerebral palsy.

[00:01:39]And it affects both my legs and my left arm. I have a condition that uh affects the collagen in my body, meaning that >> [music] >> everything dislocates.

[00:01:49]>> And then when I was 10, I had an operation on my hip.

[00:01:53]Through that operation, I sustained significant nerve damage and haven't been able to walk since. I actually wake up in the morning with my collarbones dislocated. So, the first thing I do each day is pop my collarbones back into place. Cuz they're looser than the average person, it probably doesn't hurt as much, but it still feels like being punched solidly in the chest from the inside out kind of thing. And then it settles into a base level of pain that you just kind of distract yourself from.

[00:02:21]>> It's uh one of those things where Yeah, if I No, if it was 10 minutes, I'd tell you.

[00:02:28]But I don't, so none of your business. I just wish people wouldn't want to know so badly why I'm in a wheelchair all the time. It's not offensive, it's just boring, guys. I don't want to be bored anymore.

[00:02:42]Oh, what are the perks of life in a wheelchair? Do you use it to skip lines all the [ __ ] time?

[00:02:49]The best thing is that you can buy shoes, and they will never wear out.

[00:02:55]That's a perk. That's a perk. That's a perk.

[00:02:58]If I'm walking, which is when I need the help the most, and I can't stand, I can't jump lines. But if I'm in a wheelchair, people are like I'm Moses, you know, I'm parting the sea of lines.

[00:03:08]People jump out of lifts.

[00:03:10]>> I remember when I traveling on airplanes in the days when I had to actually be lifted, physically lifted, and often I got traveled first class.

[00:03:23]First class.

[00:03:25]On the plane. I am notorious for not just skipping lines, bringing my whole posse with me. All these 50 people are also my carers. They can come with me.

[00:03:35]And the other thing that I I I find is that, you know, you can sit on Yeah, you steal things from shops. Yeah, there's so many places to hide stuff. People just don't think people on wheelchairs are naughty. It's It's funny cuz people what people think are a perk are often not a perk. There are some people that get really annoyed when people treat them differently and do things like offer them to skip a line. I get it. They don't want to be patronized. [music] At the same time, just appreciate a kind gesture.

[00:04:08]>> And yet, you see, there's that little bell rings. Poor unfortunate [ __ ] you know. And that's a that's a dilemma.

[00:04:18]I'm still very embarrassed, but it's the one time I've snapped at at a member of the public and it happened to be a child and I still feel terribly about it. It was kind of like a typical thing of like, you know, why do wheelchair users get to go first? And I just, you know, I I just turned around and just went, "Happy to swap any moment."

[00:04:36]>> Next question.

[00:04:37]Geez, this is exciting. Can you shower yourself? Hey.

[00:04:44]Oh, really?

[00:04:46]Yes.

[00:04:47]I don't know what other information to give you.

[00:04:50]>> I love sitting in the shower. I don't know why you guys stand. You should all sit in the shower. I have people come and help [music] care for me in the mornings and evenings and it's not the actual showering. I'm perfectly capable of doing that, but um my fingers dislocate just squeezing a bottle of shampoo.

[00:05:05]>> I've got handrails and stuff in my shower. Most of the time I can do it myself. It just depends a little bit on the day.

[00:05:12]>> I was doing everything myself still till about a year ago and I was so exhausted by the time [music] I had undressed, showered, squeezed bottles, dressed again, I was wiped out for the day.

[00:05:24]>> In the early days, that was one of the most difficult things. End up in hospital and suddenly I have become almost childlike.

[00:05:35]>> And when I started to get um carers come in and help with that stuff, [music] I really found it confronting and I felt like it was more disabled than I really am.

[00:05:46]>> It's very undignifying. It's dehumanizing. And then I realized, no, hang on a minute. I'm now able to go to work fresh because I'm not feeling exhausted. I've never showered a man, so it would be really weird. I wouldn't know who to talk to. What kind of conversations do you have in the shower when someone's actually showering?

[00:06:06]>> want to see my first thing?

[00:06:08]>> [laughter] >> Is that too much information? Not at all. Only if you show me. Well, they asked. And they kind of have to cuz it's a bit of a bad for the client they have I think. Ryan, do you get mad when you see other people with legs being lazy?

[00:06:24]Legs being lazy? Hell yeah.

[00:06:26]Yes, I do. When I see other people with legs being lazy, are they implying that I don't have legs? I cannot stand it when my mother will just take the car for something as simple as the shop that you can walk to. Just use your legs. Just get up and walk over there.

[00:06:44]I feel like that about people in lifts.

[00:06:46]Okay.

[00:06:47]>> [laughter] >> There's like 10 people squashed in it.

[00:06:49]Every single one of them can take the stairs and you're like, you're on the fifth floor having to just bum all the way down going, really? Look, if people want to be lazy, that's fine. Look, I'm lazy sometimes. It's not unique to people who walk.

[00:07:04]>> No, if people don't want to go for a run or don't want to go for a surf, which are the [music] things that I would kill to do if I was cured just for one day.

[00:07:11]The first thing I would do is run onto the beach and surf.

[00:07:14]>> I often look at people running and it's funny because like I haven't always been in a wheelchair and I look at people running and think, that looks pretty easy. Like, I can't believe they're that that's that tired or that sweaty or whatever. I'm like, can't be that hard.

[00:07:27]Completely lost touch.

[00:07:31]Does the wheelchair ruin the romance?

[00:07:34]Yes.

[00:07:35]Next.

[00:07:37]Yeah, it does. Well, like, I'm sorry, I tried to kiss you but your wheelchair just got in the way. Like I can't >> I think people don't find people in wheelchairs maybe as attractive or maybe they just think oh, she's in a wheelchair relationship would be complicated.

[00:07:54]>> I think what you're probably asking is does the wheelchair make it harder to find relationships? The answer is yes.

[00:08:01]But the thing is it makes it harder to find relationships with [ __ ] >> I've had guys ask me not to bring my wheelchair out. Oh, don't bring your chair. You can walk that far.

[00:08:11]>> I always get no, but you know, it'll just take a special person, someone great that won't see you as in a wheelchair or whatever, you know. And I'm just like, well, where is this special person? I don't know where they've gone, but they don't seem to know I exist.

[00:08:27]>> There are people who are attracted to people with disabilities because of their disability. They look kind of like really interesting things like I got really skinny like limbs and stuff and I I I get asked to put pictures of them on the internet. Really? Yeah, people want to pay money for that [ __ ] So you know, if I if I if I come over Awesome. So, internet dating's interesting because I have two options.

[00:08:55]I can either be on the internet dating site in my wheelchair in a photo or I can be on the internet dating site out of my wheelchair. I've chosen to be out of my chair cuz like I said, I walk and I wheel, so I'm not lying.

[00:09:10]And then I have to obviously figure out how I'm going to tell the guy.

[00:09:15]Like how do you bring that up? I can remember one of the first things I said was who's going to want me, I'm no longer a man.

[00:09:23]And somehow in my early formative years, I picked up the the message people with disabilities aren't real men. Oh, this one I I I knew this one would be in here.

[00:09:37]>> [gasps] >> Can you have sex?

[00:09:39]Yes. But I want to answer this for everyone watching. Mhm.

[00:09:43]We can all have sex. Who else are we like are they thinking this about? Is it just people in wheelchairs or are people just going around constantly thinking, [music] "Can you have sex? Can you have sex?" I think probably the question you're more asking is >> [music] >> how? Whether you do it with a penis or your tongue or whatever. Now it it's different than than [music] before. I can get an erection, but I don't ejaculate, so I don't have an orgasm. I'm not able to jump up and down, but yeah. People can jump up and down on you.

[00:10:19]>> So. Mhm. When I touch my leg, I can't feel the surface touch, >> [music] >> but I can feel the muscle being touched underneath. And I can feel the muscles that that it contracts. It's a real misconception to say that paralysis it does mean you can't feel anything.

[00:10:32]>> In in some ways I think it's possibly made me a better lover as a person [music] in a wheelchair than I would have been if I wasn't in a wheelchair. I think there's something about being disabled that increases the sex drive. I think I'm much more able [music] to give pleasure rather than relying on or being the recipient of being pleasured. Do you care if people use the disabled toilet? Good question.

[00:11:03]This is a tough one cuz I get It's not a disabled toilet. You don't want to use a disabled toilet, it won't flush.

[00:11:10]It's an accessible toilet. At those concerts where there's massive lines for the able-bodied toilets, I get if they look if people look around and there's no people in wheelchairs, I get if you just run in and run out.

[00:11:23]>> But don't do that. That's just that that's not right.

[00:11:27]>> Yeah. The funny thing is where people put on a limp for like for the 100 m beyond the toilet. They're like like and then they just walk off. For some reason able-bodied people are really shocked when a person in a wheelchair comes out of a wheelchair toilet. They're like, "Oh, you actually exist."

[00:11:42]>> Most of the time, too, when I see people who don't necessarily need to use the accessible toilet, you're not even using it to go to the toilet. You're in there with a shopping trolley full of clothes.

[00:11:53]Half the time, if someone is using a disabled toilet and they're not disabled, it's cuz they want to poop in privacy. And so, pretty much all disabled toilets smell. And it's usually people with disabilities don't have the control, and that's the thing that you kind of often don't know.

[00:12:08]>> that control. Yeah, totally. Like, the least of my issues is walking. If I'm busting to go, >> [laughter] >> I don't want somebody else to be there, whether they have a disability or or not. So, people don't realize that one, you can't access anything else in there, you're only option. And two, that you don't actually you often don't have the ability to be able to hold on while someone's doing their hair. Or having sex. Or having sex.

[00:12:33]>> That's right.

[00:12:34]Really that's something people use it to have sex. Yeah, I know they're really roomy, and there's a lot of room for your limbs to be flying about and stuff.

[00:12:41]But, the thing is, you've also hopefully hopefully got your own bed for that.

[00:12:48]How do you feel when someone says you're an inspiration?

[00:12:51]I have to say that this is something that really divides people with disabilities. If someone feels inspired by someone else, who's to say that that's wrong? I personally hate it. Not when I'm walking, not inspiration when I'm walking.

[00:13:04]Not inspiration cuz I'm a Paralympian, that would make sense. I often get congratulated just for being out.

[00:13:09]Just for being out in the street.

[00:13:11]>> When I got my PhD, and people said to me, "Yeah, you inspired me to um study more to do this or to do that."

[00:13:20]I'm like, "Sweet. Awesome."

[00:13:22]>> Yeah. But, when they don't know you, they just see you in the street, they're like, "You're an inspiration." And something clearly you're just in the street. by the fact that I'm breathing. I I've been to a Christmas lunch with my family, but I was pushing down the street, and a a grandmother and a a grandchild, I assume, were chatting in the middle of the street. I had a little bit of a chat, Merry Christmas, that sort of thing. And that as I was pushing away, I heard the older woman say to the young girl "Poor man." I had one person come up to me in a car park, an older man. He takes my hand and puts some money in it. Part of me thought "All right, I'm going to slam this.

[00:14:08]Like, this is not cool." And then I just thought, "Hang on, he's just giving me money. I'm just going to go buy a drink." I don't consider myself to be a poor man.

[00:14:18]I consider my life to be a rich one. I try and like see all sides of that and not get too just annoyed by that question. But when I was 20, I'd be like, For for several days afterwards, I I was just going through supermarkets or going places, and I just in the back of my mind was, "I wonder what these people are thinking about me. Are they thinking that I am a poor man?" Yeah, I don't mind being told that I'm inspiring if I'm, you know, donating my kidneys to someone who's dying or like, you know, rescuing someone who's stuck on the top of Mount Everest. But am I inspiring for getting out of bed in the morning?

[00:14:58]There, I've to cover everything.

[00:15:00]That's the whole box and dice.

[00:15:03]That's your blooming lot. Thank you.

[00:15:05]Well done. All right. Cheers. Thank you, boys.

[00:15:09]Um that was all right? Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah? This is just how we chat.

[00:15:14]Yeah. This is just This is everyday.

[00:15:15]Pretty much just everyday. Thank you.

[00:15:18]>> Well done. It was a lot of fun. It's a pleasure. I'm kind of used to it.