John Gottman's 40-year research at the University of Washington revealed that when someone goes silent during conflict (stonewalling), their heart rate exceeds 100 BPM, triggering the fight-or-flight response that physically prevents the brain from processing complex emotions; this is not a choice or manipulation but a physiological shutdown where the person is overwhelmed and drowning, not winning the argument.
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John Gottman studied couples for 40 years. #relationshippsychology #attachment #mentalhealthAjouté :
John Gottman studied couples for 40 years at the University of Washington.
He found that people who go silent during conflict [music] aren't being cold. Their heart rate is literally above 100 bpm. The body is in fight or flight. The brain physically cannot process complex [music] emotion at that state.
He called it stonewalling. Not a choice, but physiological shutdown. The person who goes quiet in an [music] argument isn't winning. They're drowning. They just look calm from the outside.
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