The Most Psychotic Assassination Plots in History

[00:00:00]Here's a video about every single US presidential assassination attempt, I guess. Enjoy.

[00:00:04]>> Take a look at what happened.

[00:00:08]>> At 25 minutes after 2 this afternoon, President Reagan emerged from the Washington Hill.

[00:00:23]>> We have new just confirmed details about the man accused of trying to kill the president of the United States.

[00:00:35]The first documented incident of somebody trying to take the life of a US president happened on January 30th, 1835 and by none other than the king of England himself. On that day, a funeral was being held in the Capitol building for Congressman Warren Davis. One of the people in attendance was Richard Lawrence, an unemployed house painter.

[00:00:57]But Richard wasn't there to pay his respects. He was there to take out his arch nemesis, President Andrew Jackson.

[00:01:05]Jackson was on his way to the funeral while Richard was hiding behind a pillar with a gun hidden in his pants, waiting for his enemy to show himself. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally spotted his mark. Richard jumped out from behind the pillar, pointed his pistol at Jackson's chest, and pulled the trigger.

[00:01:25]So, uh, what the hell was this guy's problem? Well, it could have been a number of reasons. Let's just say old Andy Jackson was, uh, a little bit controversial, especially in his time.

[00:01:36]There was, of course, the infamous Indian Removal Act, which led to the deaths of thousands of Native Americans that were forcibly relocated west. But just in general, Jackson was kind of a dick and he did whatever he wanted and didn't give a [ __ ] about what Congress or the people had to say about it. He expanded executive powers way more than any other president before him, earning him the nickname King Andrew. Even his vice president opposed him after his first term. Damn, this sounds kind of familiar. So, in short, Jackson was a violent authoritarian [ __ ] But that's not why Richard had beef with him. You see, Jackson owed him a lot of money. Or at least that's what Richard believed. Yeah. So the thing is uh this guy was like very mentally ill and became convinced that he was the rightful king of England and that the US government owed him reparations or something. He sent a bunch of letters to Andrew Jackson demanding payment, but when they went unanswered, it only made Richard spiral further. He came to view King Andrew as his arch nemesis and the only thing standing in between him and his money. So let's go back to the day of the assassination. Richard had jumped out from behind the pillar he was hiding behind and was standing just feet away from Jackson. His singleshot pistol pointed directly at the president. By this point, Jackson was a frail old man who needed a cane to walk. So, one shot would definitely be enough to do the job. So, Richard pulled the trigger and bang, when the smoke cleared, Andrew Jackson was standing there completely unharmed.

[00:03:05]The gun misfired. Now, even though Jackson could barely walk, he still had enough strength to beat the [ __ ] out of Richard with his cane. Luckily, Richard had anticipated this and brought a backup pistol. As he was getting his ass beat, he pulled it out and shot Jackson again. Bang! Another misfire. Bro, Jackson must have had all his stat points and luck because this is unbelievable. Uh, a lot of people back in the day had a hard time believing it, too. So, a bunch of conspiracy theories started popping up. most notably one that Jackson himself staged the assassination attempt in the hope of gaining sympathy and improving his public image. Man, time really is a flat circle, isn't it? As for King Richard, his murder trial was as entertaining as you'd expect. At one point, he told the jury, "It is for me, gentlemen, to pass judgment upon you and not you upon me."

[00:03:54]Damn, that's kind of a bar. Bro was actually kind of based. It took the jury about 5 minutes to find him not guilty by reason of insanity and he would spend the rest of his life in a mental asylum.

[00:04:07]Now, as hated as Jackson was, I don't think any president in history was more hated in his time than Abraham Lincoln.

[00:04:15]Pretty much everyone south of this line here wanted him dead. There was countless plots on his life cooked up by the Confederates and their northern sympathizers. Okay, so we all know that John Wils Booth shot Lincoln in 1865, but what you might not know is that he was actually the leader of a secret group of Confederate agents. These people were willing to do anything to help the South's cause, including kidnapping, terrorism, even murder. This is even more insane when you consider the fact that Booth was like really famous. You know, I always thought he was like a bitter D-list actor who took out his failing career on Lincoln, but boy was I wrong. This guy was a genuine celebrity. Like in in modern-day terms, this would be like if Timothy Shalé was secretly plotting to whack Trump. And the similarities with Shal don't end there. Booth was also a Nepo baby from an extremely rich family, which is how he was able to personally finance his conspiracy against Lincoln. Kind of like a evil Bruce Wayne. But the big question is why? This guy had everything. Why would he throw it all away for the Confederacy? Well, it's simple. He really liked slavery. That's pretty much all it boils down to. Booth once wrote in a letter that African slavery was one of the greatest blessings that God ever bestowed upon a favored nation. So during the Civil War, Booth acted as like a secret agent for the Confederates and cooked up all sorts of schemes. One of which was to kidnap Lincoln. Another one was to blow up the White House. Oh, and keep in mind he was still acting the entire time he was doing this stuff. One of his most famous roles was in the play Julius Caesar, which is about a group of conspirators assassinating a political leader who they saw as a tyrant. Yeah.

[00:05:58]So, that's a bit of a, you know, real life foreshadowing for you. Now, none of Booth's plots ever got off the ground, and by November of 1865, all the major Confederate generals surrendered. The South had lost, and slavery was abolished. To say Booth was pissed would be an understatement. What really made him blow his lid though was Lincoln proposing that some black men be allowed to vote. So Booth was actually there when Lincoln was giving the speech about black suffrage and he literally almost shot him on the spot. Booth thought that if he could take out Lincoln, then the Confederacy would be inspired to rise up in rebellion again. Now he missed his first opportunity, but it wouldn't be long before he got another chance. When Booth learned that Lincoln was coming to Ford's Theater to watch a show, it couldn't have been more perfect. Booth acted there on the regular, so he could slip in and out easily. But he didn't want to stop with just the president. So Booth enlisted his buddies Lewis Powell and George Atzerat, who were tasked to kill the Secretary of State, William Seawward, and Vice President Andrew Johnson, respectively. Booth, of course, wanted to take Lincoln himself. For him, it was personal. The plan was to take out all three targets simultaneously. So on the night of April 14th, 1865, Booth was in the theater making his way to Lincoln's box. Meanwhile, Pal had broken into William Seawward's house. But before he could make it to his room, Pal was stopped by Seawward's son, Frederick. The two of them got into a scuffle, and Pal beat Frederick half to death. Then he walked right into the Secretary of State's bedroom and stabbed him. Three separate people tried to stop him, but he stabbed all of them before finally escaping on his horse. At the same time, George Atzerat was sitting in Andrew Johnson's hotel trying to build up the nerve to whack him. He kept drinking, hoping it would give him the courage to go through with it, but instead he got too drunk to walk, let alone shoot. While Adserat was pissing his pants, Booth was making moves. At about a/4 10, he walked up behind Lincoln during the intermission and shot him point blank in the back of the noggin. Then he jumped down onto the stage and said some [ __ ] in Latin before escaping into the night. When it was all said and done, Booth was the only one who accomplished his task, but everyone was on the run now. It took 3 days for Pal to get caught at the group safe house. Bro must have been really bitter because Seawward made a full recovery despite getting stabbed multiple times. After three more days, Azeroth was also arrested, but Booth was still at large. He made it all the way to Virginia where he hid in the barn of a sympathetic former Confederate soldier. It was only a matter of time though. The government issued a massive reward for Booth and every fed in the country was hunting him down. Now, the sad thing is it was all for nothing.

[00:08:43]Booth thought he was going to kick off another revolution and be celebrated like a hero and a patriot in the South.

[00:08:49]But the reality was the exact opposite.

[00:08:51]He was pretty much universally condemned by everyone, including his fellow Southerners. So Booth had a diary and his final entry shows just how depressed he was by this whole thing. I have given up all that makes my life sweet and holy. Brought misery upon my family and I'm sure there is no pardon in heaven for me since man condemns me. So I mean I got to give it to bro. He was kind of poetic. 12 days after Lincoln's assassination, the army finally found Booth hiding out in the barn. They told him to come out and face the music, but Booth refused. So they set the barn on fire, but before getting burnt to a crisp, one of these soldiers shot him in the neck and he died 4 hours later.

[00:09:30]Apparently his last words were useless.

[00:09:34]Useless.

[00:09:36]That's Why do I feel bad? Thankfully, Lincoln was the last president to get shot in the 19th century, but the 20th century got started off with a bang on September 6th, 1901. Six months into his second term, William McKinley paid a visit to the World's Fair in Buffalo, New York. Now, McKinley was already having a bad day because, well, he was in Buffalo, New York. But it was about to get a whole lot worse. While he was shaking hands with some citizens, some polock bastard came up and shot him in the stomach two times. The last thing the shooter said before being dragged away was, "I done my duty." Now, McKinley survived getting shot for now.

[00:10:20]Before we get to the aftermath, let's talk about the assassin. Leon Solgos. I do not know how to pronounce that, bro.

[00:10:27]Why is there so many Z's in there?

[00:10:28]Anyways, Leon was one of those disaffected young men whose bitterness and resentment turned them radical.

[00:10:34]Here's a little excerpt from Leon's confession after he was arrested. Yes, I know I was bitter. I never had much luck at anything, and this prayed upon me. It made me morose and envious. In his 20s, Leyon found an outlet for his anger, anarchy. Specifically, Leon became influenced by Emma Goldman, who was kind of like the Karl Marx of anarchy. Well, not really, but I can't really think of any other good comparison. Anyways, Goldman advocated for something called propaganda of the deed, which was this idea that political violence was acceptable as long as it brought positive social change. It was this idea that led to anarchists murdering several heads of state, including the king of Italy, the prime minister of Spain, and the president of France, among others.

[00:11:18]Leon wanted to add to this list. What started the craze to kill was a lecture I heard some little time ago by Emma Goldman. Her doctrine that all rulers should be exterminated was what set me to thinking. And when I left the lecture, I had made up my mind that I would have to do something heroic for the cause I loved. Now, McKinley was the perfect target. Not just because he was the president, but he was also everything anarchists hated. First of all, he was very pro- big business and anti-working class, but apart from that, he was probably the most imperialistic president in US history. Guam, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, and the Philippines were all annexed under his watch. So, after Leon made up his mind to murder, he started tracking McKinley's movements.

[00:12:01]And when he saw that he would be visiting the World's Fair in Buffalo, he knew that was his chance. So he pulled up on McKinley and shot him in the belly twice. Ironically, one of McKinley's cabinet members begged him to cancel his visit specifically because he was afraid of an anarchist assassination attempt.

[00:12:18]But McKinley didn't listen. He said, "Shut up, fool. Security's for [ __ ] pussies." That is historically accurate, by the way. That's exactly what McKinley sounded like. Now, if this would have happened today, McKinley would have been fine. But unfortunately, they hadn't figured out antibiotics yet. though. He passed away 8 days later from an infection. 58 years old. He was a [ __ ] kid. Before getting the electric chair, Leon said, "I don't regret my act because I was doing what I could for the great cause." Isn't that what life's all about? Not having any regrets. After McKinley's death, the Secret Service and FBI were both established to prevent stuff like this from happening again.

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[00:14:59]Most of the violence was reserved for the peasant class, labor unions, and indigenous people. So, yeah, he was not very popular in most of his country.

[00:15:10]Despite that, Taft chose to support the Diaz regime to protect the billions of dollars that the US had invested in Mexico, which turned the Mexican people against him, too. So, it's safe to say that when Willie Taft arrived in El Paso for the summit, tensions were pretty high. A lot of people wanted both of these men whacked. They were both aware of this and security was beefed up accordingly, but maybe not enough. On the day of the meeting, Taft and Diaz were walking down the road surrounded by US Secret Service and Army Rangers, but they all somehow missed a guy sitting in the middle of the road holding a loaded handgun. Julius Bergerson, doesn't sound very Mexican, was standing just feet away from Taft, ready to fire. And let's be honest, he would be a hard target to miss. But right when he got into position, he was grabbed by a Texas Ranger and disarmed. Yeah, honestly, kind of uneventful at the end of the day. had to include it. I did say every assassination attempt. Anyways, let's get to Teddy Roosevelt. This one's a lot funner.

[00:16:11]Theodore Roosevelt was a progressive Republican, which is a bit of an oxymoron these days, but basically he really liked war, but at the same time, he was into environmental protection and regulating big business. After serving two terms, Teddy handpicked William Bigbody Taft as his successor, who easily won the 1908 election. But the relationship between the two quickly deteriorated. Teddy felt that Taft betrayed him by abandoning the progressive agenda that they ran on. So, he decided to run against his former protege in 1912 in the Republican primaries. And Teddy absolutely destroyed Taft's ass. But it didn't matter because the Republican establishment chose Taft as the nominee anyways. But Teddy wasn't finished. He started his own party, the Progressive, aka Bullmoose Party. So he hit the campaign trail. On November 14th, Roosevelt was at a stop in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where he was scheduled to give a speech that night. As soon as he stepped out of his hotel room, he suddenly got severe chest pains, probably because of the bullet that was now lodged in his chest. He had been shot from just a few feet away. The gunman was a fellow by the name of John Shrank. But wait, hold on. Wasn't Roosevelt like super popular? The teddy bear is literally based on him. Why would anyone want to whack him? Well, uh, it's actuallying insane. Literally, John claimed that the ghost of William McKinley visited him in a dream and told him that Teddy had orchestrated his murder so that he could become president. So, in John's head, this was confirmed when Teddy broke with tradition and decided to run for a third term, and that's when, you know, he decided he's going to shoot him. So, yeah, he shot him. Despite that, though, Roosevelt still went on to give a scheduled speech. Here's how he opened it. I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot, but it takes more than that to kill a bull moose. Holy [ __ ] bro. They should have just canceled the elections right there and made him king. Absolute goat.

[00:18:07]This man talked for almost an hour with a bullet lodged in his tit before finally going to the doctor. Turns out that Teddy's penchant for long speeches actually saved his life. He had a 50page manuscript of his speech in his shirt pocket which stopped the bullet from going into his lung. So yeah, he was pretty much completely fine. After he shot Teddy, an angry mob formed and actually tried to lynch Shrank, but Teddy pleaded for the mob not to hurt him. Later at his trial, Shrank pleaded guilty, but the judge wouldn't accept his plea because he was clearly insane.

[00:18:39]So, he was sent to a mental asylum instead of prison where he lived out the rest of his life. Oh, and speaking of hospitals, Roosevelt only spent two weeks in one recovering before he hit the campaign trail again, and he ended up beating Taft again. But the vote was split and Woodro Wilson ended up winning the presidency. And surprisingly, you know, despite being the president during World War I, uh, nobody came close to whacking him. So, we can skip ahead.

[00:19:06]In the leadup to the 1920s, the US got involved in multiple military interventions across Central and South America.

[00:19:18]We invaded Mexico, Haiti, Cuba, and the Dominican Republic, annexed Puerto Rico, and basically created the country of Panama just to have a shorter route for transporting our stuff. The US was rightfully seen by Latin America as an imperialistic bully. That's why after Herbert Hoover was elected in 1928, he decided to do a goodwill tour through Central and South America with the final stop being in Argentina. But there was some people who wanted this to be his final stop in life. Now, throughout history, Italians have had some really bad ideas. Fascism, the mafia, skinny jeans, and anarchy. In the early 20th century, anarchism was really big in Italy. And since Argentina is mostly made up of Italians, it gained a lot of popularity there as well. This is where Severino de Giovani comes in. He was basically a terrorist who had carried out multiple bombings, including the US embassy in Argentina and a Ford motor factory. He even bombed the house of the police chief who was investigating his little terrorist cell. So when Severino heard that Herbert Hoover was coming to his town, he knew he had to act. Now, aside from Hoover being the representative of the capitalist imperialist state that was diametrically opposed to his own ideology, killing Hoover was also personal. Just a year earlier, the US executed Sako and Venzetti, two Italian-American anarchists, on charges of murder and armed robbery. This case was extremely controversial, and a lot of people thought that the trial wasn't fair and was biased against Saco and Venetti.

[00:20:49]just because they were Italian or in other words >> anti-Italian discrimination.

[00:20:54]>> So Severino wanted justice for his comrades who he thought were unfairly killed. And what better way to exact that justice than to cut off the head of the snake that killed him. So Severino joined forces with Alejandro Scarfo who was tasked with planting a bomb on the railway that Hoover would be riding. As soon as his train passed over the bomb, it would blow up and stuff. But this plan would never come to fruition.

[00:21:18]Argentinian police had been cracking down extra hard on anarchists in preparation for Hoover's visit. Dozens of them had been rounded up and their home searched. Eventually, Scaro himself was arrested and the police found a railroad map with Hoover's route marked on it and a stash of explosives. Doesn't take a genius to connect those dots.

[00:21:37]Okay, he might as well have written I am going to murder Herbert Hoover in a diary, which he basically did. So, at the end of the day, Hoover's whole journey went off without a hitch, and his tour did a lot to improve relations with our neighbors to the south. And the US would never again interfere in Latin America's affairs. But what about Seino?

[00:21:57]What happened to him? Well, Scaro pretty much ratted him out. And after a massive three-year long manhunt, he was arrested and executed in 1931. And just 2 years after that, another Italian anarchist would try to assassinate the next president.

[00:22:15]February 15th, 1933. Franklin Roosevelt is two weeks away from his inauguration.

[00:22:21]He wasn't even in office yet, and he was already a target. And to be honest, kind of an easy one. What's he going to do?

[00:22:26]Roll away? I'm sorry, that was bad taste. At the time, the US was in the middle of the Great Depression, and everyone was mad at the government, especially Joseeppe Zangara. He was a brick layer born in Italy. After a lifetime of backbreaking labor, Zangara developed an extreme hatred for rich people and politicians, he started dabbling in anarchism, which once again was all the rage at the time. And he also suffered from lifelong crippling abdominal pain, and he was 5t tall. So, we got a pissed-off Italian [ __ ] with chronic tummy pain. That's a recipe for disaster. On February 15th, FDR was in Miami giving a speech when all of a sudden, Zangara spawned in and started shooting at the president from the crowd. A total of five shots went off.

[00:23:12]None of them hit the president, though.

[00:23:13]Instead, one of them hit Chicago Mayor Anton Surerach in the stomach. Before he could get any more shots off, though, Zangar was tackled to the ground.

[00:23:21]Initially, he was sentenced to 80 years, but when Serach died of his wounds, he was retrieded and sentenced to death instead. Afterwards, there was a whole conspiracy theory that Zangara was in the mafia and that Sir Mack was the true target as a part of a mob related hit, but that was never proven. Now, FDR was our longest serving president and a lot of people hated him, but somehow that was the closest anyone had ever gotten to actually whacking him. His successor, Truman, on the other hand, had two close brushes with death. And surprisingly, none of them were by Japanese people.

[00:23:54]You know, you would think nuking Japan twice would get a lot of him after his ass, but November 1st, 1950, President Truman was staying at the Blair House, which is typically used to house visiting foreign dignitaries. But at the time, the White House was undergoing renovations. So Truman and his family were staying there in the meantime. Now, here's the thing about the Blair House. It was much less secure than the White House. A perfect opportunity for an assassin or two. In comes Oscar Coyazo and Gracelio Torosola, two Puerto Rican nationals who were hoping that whacking Truman would bring attention to their cause of Puerto Rican independence from Washington. The plan was as simple as it was stupid.

[00:24:36]They were going to shoot their way in past security and eventually take out the president. Basically, they were going to do like a hitman mission without stealth. At 2 p.m., armed with automatic pistols, the pair opened fire on Truman's security detail. They caught the guards off guard with the element of surprise. A well-trained duo could have easily taken out at least a couple of them, but these Schlam didn't even bother to like practice shooting or or anything. They just kind of winged it with their Stormtrooper ass aim. They missed like 90% of their shots.

[00:25:07]Unfortunately, one of the few bullets that did connect fatally wounded police officer Leslie Coughfeld. To his credit though, Coughelt didn't go out before taking his killer with him. He fired one shot straight into Torosola's dome, instantly taking him off the senses.

[00:25:21]Meanwhile, Cayazo was in a full-on firefight with three other officers.

[00:25:25]Somehow, up to this point, the pair had managed to wound two officers and kill one of them. Luckily, it would end there with Kayazo getting a slug right in the chest. Now, he would actually survive this, but he was sentenced to death for the whole, you know, trying to kill the president thing. At his trial, he said he had no regrets and used the publicity to draw attention to the cause of Puerto Rican independence. Weirdly enough, right before he was set to be executed, Truman himself commuted his sentence to life in prison, probably as a thank you because his poll numbers were slipping.

[00:25:56]And 20 years later, Cayazo would receive a full presidential pardon from Jimmy Carter and later moved back to Puerto Rico where he was received as a hero.

[00:26:07]So, I think by now everybody knows about the Kennedy assassination. You know, the two guys on the grass, you know, who blamed it on Lee Harvey Oswald.

[00:26:16]Everybody knows it. So, there's no need for me to rehash it again. But what I didn't know prior to this video is that in the short time that Kennedy was president, there were at least four other plots on his life before he finally got whacked in 1963. The first of said plots actually happened right before JFK took office. When Kennedy defeated Nixon in 1960, many Americans were mortified. How could a Catholic be president of the United States? They said, "Surely he would just do the Pope's bidding at the expense of the American people. Even today, Protestants say [ __ ] like this and then vote for Apac funded politicians." Anyways, one person who was particularly pissed off about the new papist press was a guy named Richard Paul Pavick or RPP. Pavick was a retired post office worker and World War I vet. The guy was basically your typical conservative schizounk who had a reputation for going on unhinged political rants, particularly against Kennedy. Now, Pavle didn't have much. He was 73 with no family and he lived in a shack and drove an old beat up Buick.

[00:27:25]Basically, the guy had nothing to lose.

[00:27:27]So the day JFK was elected, he decided that he was going to dedicate his entire life to ending his. So Pav gave his house to some youth camp and disappeared from town. The only evidence that he was still alive came in the form of postcards that he would occasionally send to his old friend Tom Murphy, who was the postmaster in his hometown. But pretty soon, Tom noticed a weird pattern. The dates and locations they were being sent from matched up exactly with Kennedy's. What made him even more suspicious was one particular postcard that said the town was going to hear about Pavick in a big way. So, it became abundantly clear to Tom that Richard Pavick was trying to murder the president. Tom immediately called up the Secret Service who started investigating and what they found out was explosive.

[00:28:16]Pun intended. RPP had purchased a bunch of dynamite and the guy just could not keep that information to himself. He would just go around telling everybody that he had a bunch of dynamite and you know what? I don't blame him. Dynamite's cool, but not when it's used to blow up the president, which is exactly what Richard was about to do. On December 11th, 1960, he finally had his chance.

[00:28:36]Kennedy was in Florida at the time attending mass at St. Edward's Church in Palm Beach. Pavick was sitting just outside in his shitbox Buick. His trunk was loaded up with more dynamite than an episode of Good Times.

[00:28:48]>> Dynamite.

[00:28:51]>> His plan was simple. He would crash his car into Kennedy's and hope that the dynamite would blow up. But like, why would you put in a trunk then? It's like a stupid idea. Just before he was about to become the world's first Protestant suicide bomber, Pavick started having second thoughts. Not about killing JFK, mind you. He still definitely wanted to do that. But when he saw Jackie Kennedy and their two daughters, he decided to abort the mission cuz he didn't want to kill them, which like, you know, I got to respect the guy. He might have been a villain, but he wasn't a monster. So now Richard had to wait for another opportunity when Kennedy wasn't with his family. So he continued following Kennedy around, but unfortunately for him, he would never get his second chance. 4 days after the aborted bombing, a police officer spotted Pavick's car. 15 minutes later, he was surrounded by cops and arrested. Police found seven sticks of dynamite in his car and a handwritten note which was supposed to be released after the assassination. Quote, "I believe that the Kennedys bought the presidency and the White House and until he really became president, it was my intention to remove him in the only way it was available to me." Wait, but if the car blew up, then the note would have been destroyed. What kind of Scooby-Doo [ __ ] was this [ __ ] on?

[00:30:03]Clearly, the man was insane, and the government agreed. 10 days after Kennedy was actually assassinated, all charges against Pav were dropped and he was sent to a mental institution, mental institution in New Hampshire. The next uh big assassination attempt came on November 2nd, 1963, just 3 weeks before Kennedy's death. The president was scheduled to attend the Army Air Force football game at Soldier Field in Chicago. The plan was for him to ride in a parade on the way to the field. But those plans were completely thrown out the window after the feds discovered not one but two plots to whack Kennedy while he was in the second city. Just a few days before Kennedy's scheduled visit, the Secret Service received a tip about a guy named Thomas Valley who was going around town talking about how he was going to whack Kennedy. The SS, okay, I'm not going to abbreviate that anymore. The Secret Service started looking into Valley and they found out he was a member of the John Burge Society, a radical right-wing group known for hating Kennedy. He also had taken the day off work when Kennedy was supposed to be in town. But, you know, that's not evidence enough on its own.

[00:31:11]The guy could have been just talking [ __ ] So, the feds started tailing Valley for the next few days. At around 9:00 a.m. on November 2nd, just 2 hours before Kennedy's plane was set to land, Valley was pulled over for making an illegal left turn. Police searched his car and found an M1 rifle, a pistol, and 3,000 rounds of ammunition. An hour later, it was announced that the president's visit to Chicago was cancelled due to reasons. Now, the crazy thing is Valley was basically the right-wing version of Lee Harvey Oswald.

[00:31:41]He was a former Marine marksman with mental health issues, and he also had pretty much the same exact plan as Oswald. Ali worked at an office building overlooking the route Kennedy's motorcade was supposed to take, so he could easily post up there and snipe Kennedy when he passed by. One of the president's Secret Service members in Chicago later said that if Valley hadn't been pulled over, he likely would have killed the president before Oswald.

[00:32:06]Given that information, it's really odd that he was never really prosecuted at all. He was basically let off with a slap on the dick. And to make things worse, none of this information was passed on to Kennedy's security team in Dallas. Oh, and this is just the tip of the iceberg because a week later, the same thing pretty much happened again in Florida. November 9th, 1963, Miami police officer William Somerset had spent the better part of the year undercover, infiltrating right-wing extremist groups in the greater Miami area. One of said groups was the NSRP.

[00:32:37]In the process, Somerset befriended the group's leader, Joseph Miltier. Somerset had been wearing a wire and recorded hundreds of hours of conversations between Miltier and himself. In many of them, Miltier had talked about his hatred for Kennedy and openly fantasized about killing him. Here's where things get really freaky. Two weeks before Kennedy got whacked, Miltier predicted pretty much exactly how it would go down. He told Somerset that one of his NSRP buddies was going to shoot Kennedy with a high-powered rifle from an office building as his motorcade drove down the street. Somerset immediately relayed this information to Miami PD who responded by cancelling Kennedy's motorcade because the risk was too high.

[00:33:18]Four days later, Kennedy got shot with a high-powered rifle from an office building as his motorcade drove through downtown Dallas. Pretty much exactly what Miltier described. The only thing that was different was the location.

[00:33:29]Once again, this information was not passed on to the president's Dallas security squad. Now, the official consensus is that Miltier was talking [ __ ] out his ass, but he wasn't actually involved with Kennedy's death in any ways. And you know that that's that's probably true. That sounds about right.

[00:33:45]But uh here's here's where things get a little bit muddy. Okay, pay attention to this photo of Joseph Miltier. Okay, really burn this man's face into your mind. Now, here's another photo of Kennedy's motorcade right before he got his melon popped. Okay, see this guy back here? Looks an awful lot like mil tier, don't it? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Let's move on.

[00:34:09]All right, let's talk about Dick Nixon.

[00:34:12]It's hard to imagine today given what we know about Watergate and all that stuff, but after his first term, he was one of the most popular presidents ever. At least according to the re-election results where he won 49 out of 50 states. But no matter how popular you are, there's always going to be people that want you dead. In my case, it's my old high school rival, Cooper, but I don't have to worry about him for another three to six years. In Nixon's case, it was a guy named Arthur Bremer.

[00:34:37]Most of you are probably familiar with the movie Taxi Driver, where Robert Dairo, plays a mentally ill loner who tries to whack a politician. The movie's main character, Travis Bickl, is based on Arthur Bremer. So, Arthur was a typical socially awkward kid who didn't have many friends. Despite that, he managed to finally get himself a girlfriend when he was 21 and she was 16. The relationship didn't last long, though. She broke up with Arthur because she couldn't handle how cringe he was.

[00:35:05]He was embarrassed by the way he yelled and stamped his feet at a blood, sweat, and tears concert and broke up with him on the spot. Pretty rough. Now, you know, anybody would be upset, but Arthur really did not take this breakup well.

[00:35:17]He shaved his head and became suicidal.

[00:35:19]At one point, even threatening to commit sapuku if his girl didn't get back with him. but she didn't take the bait. As time went on, Arthur became more and more depressed. He felt like a neglected, unlovable Chud who nobody cared about. After months of contemplating a visit to the rope store, he came to a realization that if he wanted people to care about him, he would have to do something to get their attention. Something big, something like assassinating the president. So, he purchased a 38 snub-nose revolver, got in his car, and started stalking Nixon, who was in the middle of his re-election campaign. Bremer would show up to Nixon rallies dressed in an American flag suit and sunglasses, standing out like a sore thumb. Now, Secret Service members later wrote about noticing Bremer at these rallies, but I guess they didn't think much of it. So, he was pretty much able to track Nixon unimpeded. Bremer's first real attempt was on April 3rd. Nixon was in Ottawa, Canada on a 3-day long state visit. Bremer was in the crowd ready to rumble, but security was tighter than usual. There were a lot of Vietnam war protests going on in the area and tensions were hot. So, the Secret Service amped up the precautions. Arthur couldn't get close enough to get a clear shot. Over the next two days, he had multiple opportunities to take out Nixon, but every time he got close, his line of sight would get blocked by security or something else. I guess bro never heard of the high ground. After multiple missed opportunities, Arthur decided this was going to be way too hard. So, he switched his target from Nixon to George Wallace. the Democratic Party's front runner. He figured Wallace's security detail wouldn't be nearly as tight. And he was absolutely right. On May 15th, 1972, Arthur Bremer showed up to a George Wallace campaign rally and shot him five times. Wallace survived, but he was left permanently paralyzed from the waist down, which pretty much put an end to his presidential aspirations. However, he did still serve as governor of Alabama until 1987. And I think like the getting shot made him like way less racist somehow. As for Bremer, he tried to plead insanity, but no one bought it, so he was sentenced to 53 years in prison.

[00:37:25]Though he was released after 35 for good behavior. Funnily enough, the movie character that's based on him would later inspire another wouldbe presidential assassin that is way more famous than he is. Now, there's a lot of conspiracy theories surrounding this whole situation, including one where Bremer was speculated to be an MK Ultra Manurion candidate tasked with killing Wallace because he was a threat to Nixon's re-election. But I mean, that theory pops up with literally any political assassination. But there's another more realistic one that says Nixon tried to plant evidence in Bremer's house to try to link him to George McGovern, who was the other Democrat running for the presidency.

[00:38:01]Honestly, that's not even a conspiracy theory. That's just something that happened. Like the Nixon administration actually planned on doing that. It just didn't pan out. Either way, George Wallace getting forced out of the race was really good for Nixon. With Wallace gone, Nixon was easily able to steamroll George McGovern in the 72 election. Now, there were plenty of other little plots and threats on Nixon's life in the following years, but most of them never got off the ground. That is until 1974.

[00:38:28]Watergate had just happened and the Vietnam War was still raging. Nixon was almost universally hated. You know, cancer had a higher approval rating than him in ' 74. So, as you can imagine, a lot of people wanted him dead for a bunch of different reasons. But it's possible that no one wanted Nixon dead more than Samuel Bick. On the morning of February 22nd, Bick was making his way onto a flight to Atlanta from Baltimore International Airport. He had a 22 tucked inside his triple XL trench coat.

[00:38:58]When he saw this security at the gate, he realized there was no way he was going to get his gun on the plane. So, he pulled it out and the security guard in the head, killing him instantly.

[00:39:07]Next, he jumped over the gate and boarded the plane. His objective, crash the plane into the White House and kill Dick Nixon. Bro really came up with 9/11 before 9/11. But why did Bick want Dick's head so bad? Well, you see, Samuel was kind of a lifelong schmuck who pretty much failed at everything in life. Other than a short stint in the army, he never really amounted to anything. By the late60s, his marriage was falling apart, and he had a hard time holding down a job. In 1968, he applied for a federal small business loan in an effort to open up his own tire shop and turn his life around, but the loan was denied. This was basically Bick's Hitler getting rejected from art school moment. This rejection caused him to have a mental breakdown that would set him on a collision course with the president. Instead of blaming his problems on Jews like most people do in his situation, Bick pointed his frustration towards the Nixon administration, which he saw as corrupt and evil. He plastered his car with impeach Nixon stickers and started attending protests dressed up as Santa Claus. But as time went on, Big grew more mentally unhinged. In 1972, he was investigated by the Secret Service after threatening to kill the president. But after talking to him, they decided that he wasn't a threat. Oh, how wrong they were. On Christmas of 1973, Bick was alone. His wife wouldn't let him see his kids, and he had nothing left to live for. The only thing he wanted to do was kill Nixon. That night, he came up with his plan to kamicazi the White House. He called it Operation Pandora's box, which is kind of cool. On February 22nd, 1974, he sent a tape with a recording reciting his entire plan to a journalist. Then a few hours later, he shot the security guard and boarded the airplane.

[00:40:54]Afterwards, Big forced his way into the cockpit and told the pilot to take off, but they told him it was impossible because the wheel blocks were still under the plane and it couldn't move.

[00:41:03]Enraged, Bigshot the pilot and the co-pilot. Then he grabbed a female passenger and held a gun to her head.

[00:41:11]The plan was to use her as a hostage. As the woman pleaded for her life, another gunshot shattered a nearby window and the broken glass cut her. But the shot didn't come from Bick. The police had finally made it to the scene. But before he could think of what to do next, two more bullets ripped through the window and hit him in the chest. It was Jover.

[00:41:30]When the cops finally entered the plane, they found Bick lying on the floor with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He was also carrying a briefcase with a bomb which luckily didn't go off.

[00:41:41]You know, this is going to sound a little bit weird. I'm glad he wasn't able to pull this off. Not just because it saved a lot of people's lives, but imagine if instead of 9/11, it was 222.

[00:41:50]That doesn't have the same ring to it. A lot of people wanted to kill Nixon so they could put an end to his political career. But all they would have to do is wait for Nixon to commit career suicide.

[00:42:00]After he resigned from office, Gerald Ford took his place. and Ford actually survived backtoback assassination attempts.

[00:42:11]In the span of about 3 weeks, two women would try to erase Ford's hard drive.

[00:42:16]The first attempt was on September 5th, 1975. Ford went to California to speak at the annual Sacramento host breakfast, which was like this gathering of rich California businessmen. From there, he went to the state's capital building to meet with Governor Jerry Brown. As Ford was making his way into the Capitol building, a large crowd had formed outside. Ford walked past them, shaking people's hands as he passed by when he noticed an oddlooking hippie girl dressed in all red. Now, most of the people in the crowd had their hands stretched out in the hopes of getting a handshake from Big Gerald. But this particular woman had her hands stretched out for a completely different reason.

[00:42:53]Despite standing just two feet away from Ford, the president was too distracted by all the people in the crowd that he didn't even notice. She was pointing a gun right at him. Luckily, somebody else in the crowd noticed and he yelled, "Gun!" The woman was then quickly tackled to the ground before she could get any shots off. But it turns out that this wasn't just some random hippie. It was Lynette Squeaky from who was a member of the Manson family, the same group of people who were behind the gruesome murder spree that left multiple people dead in California. Despite being one of Charlie's most dedicated disciples, Squeaky herself wasn't directly involved in the murders. By this point, though, Manson and the members who had participated were all behind bars. From motive isn't exactly known. The most obvious answer, though, is that she wanted to impress her idol, Charlie Manson. But according to her, the whole thing was a publicity stunt to bring attention to the environment or some [ __ ] and she never actually intended on killing Ford. Either way, she was sentenced to life in prison, was actually released on parole pretty recently, and even now, 40 years later, she says she doesn't regret what she did. It's hard to be sorry if you're going by your heart, she said. Now, Squeaky from was the first woman in American history to try and assassinate a president, but this is a distinction she would only hold for about 3 weeks.

[00:44:09]On February 4th, 1974, 19-year-old Patty Hurst was kidnapped from her apartment by the Symbian Liberation Army, a leftist militant group. She was targeted because she was the granddaughter of media mogul William Randolph Hurst, who was very rich. The group demanded millions of dollars worth of food donations in exchange for releasing her.

[00:44:30]So Patty's father used $2 million of his own money to set up the People in Need, a program that would provide food to, well, people in need. Unfortunately, the SLA still didn't release Patty. And even worse, her dad indirectly set in motion a chain of events that would lead to President Ford almost getting domed. Not long after its inception, a woman named Sarah Jane Moore started working for people in need. While she was there, she became interested in socialism and befriended a lot of far-left Marxist types, including people tied to the SLA.

[00:45:02]It was these contacts that landed her on the FBI's radar. One day, the feds approached her and asked her to be an informant, hoping that her contacts could help them find Patty Hurst. For some reason, she agreed. I don't know like how they talked her into it, but it wouldn't be long before she started feeling very guilty about spying on her friends. Eventually, the guilt was too much for her to handle and she confessed to one of her friends that she was an informant. And then everybody dropped to like a bag of doodoo. And let me tell you guys, it's not fun to be abandoned by your whole friend group, okay? I can say this from experience. All my friends stopped talking to me after high school.

[00:45:36]I mean, to be fair, I did steal one of their cars and sold it to a Bulgarian chop shop in Staten Island and then spent all the money on nitrous oxide and Nintendo 64 games. But enough about that. When Sarah Jane heard about the attempt on Gerald Ford's life, she got a brilliant idea. If she could succeed where from failed, all her friends would like her again. By the way, you guys are probably imagining like a young girl right now, but she was like a middle-aged woman with five children. In the leadup to the assassination attempt, Sarah Jane started sending threatening letters to President Ford. On September 20th, she took things a step further and called San Francisco PD basically saying, "Hey, I'm going to like kill the president." Okay, she didn't say that exactly, but I mean, she might as well have. The police officer she talked to immediately alerted the Secret Service.

[00:46:22]The next day, cops went to her house and discovered a revolver along with 113 rounds of ammunition. She was arrested and later questioned by the Secret Service. And it went something like this. Hey Sarah Jane, you've been threatening to kill the president and you have an illegal firearm. Is there a chance you're planning on killing the president? What? Me? Kill the president?

[00:46:42]I would never do that. I was just joking around. And here's what's absolutely [ __ ] insane. They let her go. I'm not even joking, bro. They straight up let her go. Apparently, her former status as an FBI informant saved her ass. Bro, somebody in the Secret Service must have hated Ford or something. That's that's the only explanation I can think of.

[00:47:01]After she was released, Sarah Jane immediately got herself another gun. On September 22nd, just 17 days after his first brush with death, Gerald Ford was back in California, specifically in San Francisco. He was only in town for a day to do an interview at the St. Francis Hotel. Sarah Jane was standing across the street from the hotel, hiding in a crowd of people who wanted to see the president. At 3:30 p.m., Ford exited the hotel, and Sarah Jane quickly pulled out a 38 revolver out of her purse and squeezed the trigger. The bullet narrowly missed the president. Now, Ford was extremely lucky. This lady knew how to shoot. The only reason the shot missed was because the sights on the gun she bought weren't calibrated yet. But she took that into account and adjusted her aim. This time she wouldn't miss.

[00:47:46]But right as she was about to take the second shot, a guy in the crowd spawned in and grabbed her arm, causing the bullet to hit the side of the building and ricochet. And just like that, Gerald Ford was 2 and 0 on surviving assassinations. Pretty impressive for a guy who was only president for like 2 years. Sarah Jane was sentenced to life in prison and actually briefly escaped in 1979. When Ford was later asked about Sarah Jane, he basically said, "That [ __ ] crazy." Luckily, this was the last time anyone would try to shoot Gerald Ford and he would live a long healthy life, which cannot be said about his political career, which was dead as dog [ __ ] In 1976, he would lose the election to political outsider and former Georgia governor.

[00:48:30]That same year, the movie Taxi Driver starring Robert Dairo was released. Now, if you've never seen this movie, shame on you. I know I briefly talked about it earlier, but let me give you a quick synopsis again, just because it's important to what's about to happen.

[00:48:43]Taxi Driver follows Travis Bickl, a lonely Gooner who feels alienated from society and becomes fixated on an underage prostitute named Iris, played by Jodie Foster. Eventually, Travis's alienation and resentment turns violent and he tries to assassinate a politician. Now, a lot of people watch this film and they're like, "That's literally me. I am Travis Bickl." But one guy named John Hinckley Jr. took this to the extreme. Like, he actually became Travis Bickle. He started dressing like him, talking like him. He would even stand in front of the mirror and say, "You talking to me? You talking to me?" Like Travis, he also developed a very unhealthy obsession with Jodie Foster, who was like 14 at the time. Try try not to think about it. Anyways, it was bad. Hinckley stalked Foster and wrote her a bunch of love letters. When that failed to get her attention, he decided to take more extreme measures.

[00:49:35]In true Bleian fashion, he decided that the best way to get her attention was to shoot the president of the United States, Jimmy Carter. So, Hinckley spent the better part of 1980 trailing Carter around as he was campaigning for the presidential election that year. On October 9th, Carter was in Nashville that same day, Hinckley was arrested at the Nashville airport after trying to board a flight with handcuffs, rope, and three unloaded firearms. And just to put into perspective how insane the pre 911 world was, all he had to do was pay a $50 fine and they let him go after like 40 minutes of being detained. Also, the incident wasn't reported to the Secret Service for some reason. Meanwhile, I'm on the [ __ ] no-fly list just cuz my tube of toothpaste was too big. Okay.

[00:50:22]Also, I did have several Fanta bottles filled with bootleg Albanian moonshine.

[00:50:26]But still, man, come on. After leaving Nashville, Hinckley was broke and severely depressed, so he went back home to Colorado to live with his parents.

[00:50:35]Not long after, he overdosed on anti-depressants. After that, his parents convinced him to go see a psychiatrist. But this must have been like the worst psychiatrist in the world because after 4 months of seeing him or her, Hinckley's mental health didn't improve at all. In fact, it only got worse. By 1981, Hinckley's obsession with Jodie Foster had reached critical levels. He decided once again that he had to do something extreme to get her attention. This time though, instead of assassinating President Jimmy Carter, he would assassinate an actor by the name of Now, I don't know if you guys are students of history, but believe it or not, Ronald Reagan wasn't just a famous actor. He also served as president of the United States from 1981 to '89. So that's why Hinckley chose him as his next target. On March 29th of 81, Hinckley wrote a final note to Jodie Foster that said, "You [ __ ] How could you sleep with my uncle while I was at rehab detoxing from nitrous?" Oh, wait. That's a note I wrote to my ex-girlfriend.

[00:51:44]Dear Jodie, there is a definite possibility that I will be killed in my attempt to get Reagan. It is for this very reason that I am writing you this letter. Now, as you well know by now, I love you very much. Over the past 7 months, I've left you dozens of poems, letters, and love messages in the faint hope that you could develop an interest in me. I will admit to you that the reason I'm going ahead with this attempt now is because I just cannot wait any longer to impress you. I've got to do something now to make you understand that in no uncertain terms, I am doing all of this for your sake. By sacrificing my freedom and possibly my life, I hope to change your mind about me. I love you forever, John Hinckley.

[00:52:23]Honestly, you got to respect this on some level. Okay, this man was a true yearer. In a day and age where people are constantly ghosting each other, it's refreshing to see someone put this level of effort. Remember ladies, if he wanted to, he would. The next day, Reagan was scheduled to give a speech at the Hilton in Washington, DC. The building was surrounded by a cheering crowd of supporters. No one had any idea that there was a murderous ch among them. At 2:25, Reagan finished his speech and walked out of the building towards his limo. And then, Hinckley fired six shots. The first hit Reagan's press secretary, James Brady, in the head. The second hit a policeman in the back. The third shot missed completely. The fourth hit Secret Service agent Tom Deah Hunt in the chest. The fifth bullet also missed. Now mind you, Hinckley was using a sixshot revolver. And so far, every single shot hit damn near everyone but Reagan. It wasn't looking good for the Hank. If Jodie Foster was ever going to let him crack, Hankley was going to need to make that last shot count. So, he composed himself and summoned the life essence of every Chud around the globe, pointed his gun, and pulled the trigger. and the Schlam missed again. The bullet hit the side of the limo. Hinckley was then tackled to the ground while Reagan was rushed out of the area. Everyone in the limo with Reagan was freaking out, but they were relieved that the president was okay. And then Reagan started coughing up blood. Yeah, it turns out Reagan like fully had a bullet lodged in his lung now. Even though Hinckley's aim was worse than an extra in a John Wick movie, one of the bullets that ricocheted off the side of the limo went right into his chest, just narrowly missing his heart. But at the end of the day, surprisingly, everyone, including Reagan, survived. Although, James Brady did suffer permanent brain damage and was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. As for Hinckley, a jury found him not guilty due to insanity, and he spent 41 years in a mental hospital, finally being released in 2022. After his release, he apologized to Jodie Foster for turning her gay. And I'm being 100% serious.

[00:54:27]Hinckley thinks that he traumatized Jod so bad that she became a lesbian. So, that guy's based as hell. Now, I think the Secret Service must have gotten their [ __ ] together after this because there wasn't any close calls in the rest of Reagan's presidency, but there was one that happened right after he left office. And it's so insane that I had to include it even though he wasn't president at the time because Reagan's assassin was none other than Jesus Christ himself. The year is 1990. Ronald Reagan had been out of office for a year and moved back to his mansion in Bair.

[00:55:00]One day, Reagan was sitting by the pool enjoying a nice bowl of jelly beans and reflecting on his greatest hits. You know, Iran Contra, the crack epidemic, AIDS, the savings and loan scandal, lying about having Alzheimer's, that kind of stuff. But his stroll down memory lane was interrupted by an African-American fellow who jumped the fence into Reagan's backyard and started running around screaming something about the Antichrist. The Secret Service quickly subdued the man and one of the agents reported that he said, "He must be killed and I must kill him." The man in question was Gregory Stewart Gordon, but the GEO and D and Gordon were capitalized because according to him, he was the second coming of Jesus and he came back to Earth to eliminate his arch nemesis. He later said that he had been trying to kill Reagan for 10 years and that as soon as he was out of prison, he would try again. The jury must have really hated Reagan because Greg only got two years in the can. Now, Greg would never get his chance to destroy the beast, but he did write a whole book called Ronald Reagan, Antichrist. You You guys should check it out. I think it's on Amazon or something. Anyways, this is probably like one of the most interesting assassination attempts that I've read about personally. But let's move on to Reagan's vice president who later became president, George Bush, the prequel.

[00:56:19]George HW Bush. Not sure what the HW stands for, but it would be really funny if it was huge wiener. Imagine that.

[00:56:28]Huge wiener Bush.

[00:56:31]Oh man, I need to grow up. Once again, this was after Bush had already left office. Now, you guys are probably familiar with something called the Gulf War. Quick refresher. On August 2nd, 1990, Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait. The Chad Iraq easily overwhelmed the virgin Kuwait and took over the entire country within hours. Now, some people argue that the invasion was justified and that the Kuwaitis kind of brought it on themselves. I'm some people, but George H. Dub didn't see it that way. He was afraid that if Saddam took Kuwait, then maybe Saudi Arabia could be next. So, he had to send a message. And let me tell you, that message was loud and clear.

[00:57:13]The US put together a coalition of countries including Saudi Arabia, Egypt, France, and the UK. A total of 700,000 troops gathered in Saudi. And on January 17th, 1991, they absolutely blasted Saddam's ass. Coalition troops devastated Iraq's army. After just 42 days, Iraq and the US agreed on a ceasefire. But this was an embarrassing loss for Saddam. So, as you can imagine, a lot of people loyal to Saddam wanted HW Muerto. Fast forward to 1993. HDub lost the election to Bill Bubba Clinton.

[00:57:46]He was back in Kuwait to commemorate the anniversary of Desert Storm. The day before he arrived though, Kuwaiti authorities discovered a car full of explosives and arrested 17 people who were apparently plotting to blow up the former president. The DOJ and CIA later concluded that the conspirators were connected to Saddam's government. Bill Clinton responded by bombing the [ __ ] out of Baghdad. Now, it's unknown if he did this in response to the assassination attempt or because he got confused and thought it was Belgrad.

[00:58:18]Either way, he bombed Belgrad just for good measure. Speaking of Bill Clinton, on Saturday, October 29th, 1994, he was standing outside of the White House when all of a sudden, bullets started spraying all around him. A total of 29 rounds were fired at Clinton and a crowd of tourists who were around him.

[00:58:37]Miraculously, none of the shots connected and the assassin was tackled by a good Samaritan before he could pop off more rounds. The wildest part about this is that the target of the assassin wasn't even Bill Clinton. It was just a guy who kind of looked like him from far away. While this was going down, Bill was inside watching football, oblivious to what the hell was going on. The would-be assassin was 26-year-old Francisco Martin Duran. Duran was a former member of the US Army until he was dishonorably discharged for drunkenly hitting a woman with his car after getting into an argument at a bowling alley. I think that kind of tells you everything you need to know about this guy. After the whole uh hitting a woman with his car fiasco, Duran was court marshaled and sentenced to two years in a military prison. After his release, he developed an extreme hatred for the US government. If he had been born 10 years later, Duran would be a typical magard QAnon type, you know.

[00:59:34]Now, this guy really hated Bill Clinton in particular. But the question is why?

[00:59:39]I mean, these days that question would be very easy to answer, but this was long before we knew how much of a degenerate Bubba was. Okay, like the guy was super popular at the time. Well, according to his defense attorneys, it wasn't personal. Duran was trying to save the world from aliens. According to Duran, he had been contacted by an alien who told him that the White House was enveloped in an invisible mist that was connected by an umbilical cord to an evil alien spaceship thing. And this mist was controlling the White House.

[01:00:13]So, it was his duty to destroy it and save the planet. You cannot make this stuff up. Well, actually, you can because I mean, he made it up. He was trying to get off on insanity, but the judge wasn't buying it, so he got life in prison instead. I wanted insanity. I compromised. I got life in prison instead. Sorry, I've been watching the Sopranos too much. On November 23rd, 1996, shortly after winning his re-election campaign, Bill Clinton was on his way to the Philippines for the Apex Summit. Before his plane landed in Manila, the Secret Service received a report that someone had planted a device somewhere along the path where Clint's motorcade was supposed to pass through.

[01:00:51]Specifically, it was said to be on one of the three bridges along the motorcade path. This came right after an agent intercepted a call that said that there was going to be a wedding across the bridge, which was a code for bomb.

[01:01:04]Luckily, this plan didn't go anywhere, and the motorcade simply took another route and avoided the bomb entirely.

[01:01:11]While the motorcade made its way through the city, the Filipino security forces found a bomb on a bridge along with an SUV with multiple AKs planted inside.

[01:01:20]The plot was linked to al-Qaeda, who had a strong presence in the Philippines at the time. The weird thing is that the entire thing was almost immediately swept under the rug. The Secret Service agents that went to Manila, who'd usually be deeply involved in the investigation, were told to leave just a day after Clinton did. Kind of weird.

[01:01:39]Speaking of war criminals, sorry to interrupt, but I gotta shill the Patreon and YouTube memberships. I'm sorry. I know it's annoying, but unlike a lot of people on this platform, I actually put a lot of time and effort into these videos and it's been very annoying because a lot of them have gotten demonetized. So, if you guys want to help out the channel, completely optional, by the way, uh you can become a YouTube member or join my Patreon and you get access to longer uncut uncensored videos. Also, you get early access and uh if you get the top tier, you get your name in the credits of the videos, which is kind of cool, I guess.

[01:02:24]Anyways, uh sorry to interrupt. Let's get back to the video. In 2005, W. Bush paid a visit to Georgia. Upon landing in TLI, he apparently remarked, "Now, wait a second. This don't look like Atlanta."

[01:02:36]Once it was explained to him that Georgia was actually a country in the caucuses, W decided that hey, since he was already there, he might as well meet with the country's leader, Mikail Sakashi. So on September 12th, 2003, President George met with the president of Georgia. Bush attended a rally held by Sakashi that he was set to speak at.

[01:02:57]This was the first time a US president had ever visited Georgia, so a large crowd had gathered to hear the president speak. Among them was Vladimir Aratunian who was standing in the audience. In his hand, he was holding a handkerchief which he was going to use to kill the two presidents. Vlad was sitting in the sun for hours waiting for his opportunity. And then finally, Bush took to the stage. Without hesitation, Vlad tossed the handkerchief on the stage.

[01:03:25]Oh, hang on. I forgot to mention. Inside the handkerchief was a hand grenade and it was now sitting just feet away from the two presidents. Now everybody was pretty confused because it looked like a guy just like tossed a rag on stage. But when they finally figured out what happened, everyone started freaking out.

[01:03:43]The crowd dispersed. The Secret Service put Bush up on their shoulders and started running away. It was absolute chaos. And under the cover of this chaos, if Vlad was able to escape, but the question now is why' he do it? Well, Artonian was very pro-Russia, so just by default, he's a psychopath. And he saw the president of Georgia as a puppet of the United States. It's as simple as that. Oh, and you've probably figured this out by now, but the grenade didn't go off. Vladimir pulled the pin, but the handkerchief was wrapped so tightly around it that it was actually holding down the safety lever, preventing it from going off. So, Vlad escaped and went on the run. And since he was wearing a foolproof disguise of sunglasses, it was very hard to track him down. Georgian police were hunting this man down, but he was very elusive.

[01:04:30]That is until they got a tip and then they showed up to his apartment.

[01:04:34]Unfortunately for the cops though, Arttonian saw them coming and fatally shot one of them before going on the run again. After searching his apartment, police found that Artunian was making chemical weapons in a bunker for god knows what reason. Luckily, he was eventually caught and put in the slammer for life. Now, that was pretty crazy, but believe it or not, that was only Bush's second closest brush with death.

[01:04:57]On December 14th, 2008, George W. Bush was speaking at a press conference at the Prime Minister's Palace in Baghdad when all of a sudden, a deadly weapon was hurled at his head.

[01:05:15]A pair of size 10 loafers narrowly missed the president. Luckily, W had quick reflexes and he was able to dodge the attack and the Secret Service quickly subdued the wouldbe assassin.

[01:05:26]The president was quickly escorted out of the room and the shoes were analyzed.

[01:05:31]Was there a bomb inside? Were they coated in anthrax? No, they were just shoes. The only biological agent found was athletes foot fungus. But still, man, at the right angle, it could have given him like a small bruise that could have triggered an aneurysm and killed the president. Thankfully, the president was safe and the war in Afghanistan could continue for 10 more years.

[01:05:51]Unfortunately, though, there was one casualty that day. The press secretary, Dana Perino, wasn't so lucky. In the chaos, she was hit in the face by a boom mic and given a black eye. The asalent was later revealed to be an Iraqi journalist by the name of Mutadar Al- Zedi. I'm having trouble putting together a motive, though. Like, what the hell was this guy's problem? I mean, George Bush literally fixed Iraq, you ungrateful bastard. Of course, I'm kidding. The Iraq war was such a disaster that the American people voted for a guy named Hussein.

[01:06:26]Now, Obama was uh very controversial, okay? Definitely not because he was black or anything. Other than Donald Trump, Obama was probably the most assassinatedly attempted president ever.

[01:06:38]I I'm not going to read through that line. Obama probably had the most assassination plots and attempts on his life. You guys remember ISIS? They used to be like the world's biggest bad guys before um us. On March 20th, 2003, the US and its allies invaded Iraq because Saddam had some very real weapons of mass destruction. After quickly taking over the country, Saddam was eventually captured and later executed in Iraq.

[01:07:06]With him gone, the people of Iraq would finally see peace and prosperity.

[01:07:12]Oh, wait, no, that didn't happen at all.

[01:07:14]Now, there's no denying that Saddam was an evil mother sucker, but ISIS made him look like the Keebler elf. Actually, that's a bad comparison because the Keebler elf is actually a war criminal.

[01:07:25]Okay. Ernie J. Keebler, real name Ilia Yoseph Klurovich, ordered the ethnic cleansing of a rival elf clan so he could consolidate his cookie empire. You would never tell just from looking at him, but this mother sucker is a straight psychopath. Anyways, ISIS was responsible for some of the worst atrocities you can imagine. Terrorist attacks, genocide, slavery, you name it, these guys were doing it. Despite this, people all over the world were flocking to the Middle East to join ISIS. They had a very sophisticated propaganda and recruiting network that attracted people to their cause. Some people served as soldiers helping ISIS expand its territories while others committed terrorist acts abroad. ISIS was at its most powerful around 2014 2015 when they captured Mosul, Iraq's second largest city as well as part of Syria. Here's a map of their caliphate at its peak.

[01:08:16]That's a pretty good amount of territory. So around this time, a lot of terrorist attacks and assassination plots were being carried out around the world in ISIS's name. One of the main targets for these plots was none other than Barack Obama. Now, one of the main ways that ISIS recruited people to their cause was through internet message boards. This post on an ISIS message board includes bomb- making instructions and pictures on how to use Christmas tree lights, bleach, sugar matches, and clocks to build homemade bombs for use in America.

[01:08:49]>> That's how two roommates in Brooklyn got radicalized. 24year-old Abdul Rasul Cherabov, just going to call him AJ from now on, was born in Usbekistan, but grew up in Brooklyn. Like many young men his age, he felt a lack of meaning and purpose in his life. He was broke and felt alienated from the world around him. That is until he found his calling, jihad. ISIS propaganda was particularly appealing to people like AJ because they promised to destroy the old degenerate world and build up a new society with Islam in the center. AJ wanted to be in on the ground floor of this new caliphate. His whole life he'd been searching for something to live for. And now he found something better, something to die for. In August of 2014, he made this post on an ISIS message board. I'm in the USA now. Is it possible to commit ourselves as dedicated martyrs? Anyway, while we're here, what I am saying is to Obama and get ourselves. Will it do?

[01:09:47]That will strike fear in the hearts of infidels. As you can imagine, the FBI was heavily monitoring these message boards. And this schmuck uh didn't know about a VPN, I guess. So, this immediately put him on their radar. The FBI through an informant started secretly recording AJ and his roommate, 19-year-old Akor Sidakmetov, who I will refer to as AS. Both of them talked extensively about terrorism or taking out Obama. The two roommates eventually decided to travel to Syria to officially enlist as members of ISIS. Luckily, both of them were arrested before they got the chance. But this wasn't the first time Obama was threatened by terrorists.

[01:10:28]Not by a long shot. Specifically, Obama was threatened by an Irish terrorist.

[01:10:33]No, no, not that kind of Irish terrorist. Although, this guy would cause some troubles of his own. An Irish convert to Islam, Khaled Kelly, aka Abu Osama al-Ili, threatened Obama's life before he was scheduled to make a visit to Ireland. In an interview with a British newspaper, he said, "Personally, I would feel happy if Obama was killed.

[01:10:53]How could I not feel happy when a big enemy of Islam is gone? I don't know why, but like the thought of a guy with an Irish accent being a diehard Islamist is so funny to me for some reason. Kelly went on to say that he expected al-Qaeda to kill Obama during his upcoming visit to Ireland and that he would do it himself if he wasn't so well known to the police there. Bro, why is this guy snitching on himself? I don't understand. The same day, Kelly was arrested and questioned for 3 days straight, but released with no charges.

[01:11:21]Later, he moved to Iraq to join ISIS.

[01:11:24]And in 2016, he blew himself up on their orders. Damn, bro really had one of the worst character arcs I've ever heard of.

[01:11:31]Now, Islamic terrorists weren't the only ones after Obama's neck. There were also some good old-fashioned homegrown right-wing anarchists. I don't know why I did that accent. In 2011, a group of army buddies in Georgia got together and formed the Fear Militia. Part anarchist terrorist group, part cult. The Fear Militia had one goal, destroy the US government. It all started on July 17th, 2011 with the mysterious death of Deardra Aguigui, a US Army sergeant stationed at Fort Stewart. Her husband Isaac was obviously devastated, especially since she was 7 months pregnant with his son at the time. In the months following his wife's death, Isaac spiraled out of control. He started using hard drugs and developed a deep hatred for the US government. His hatred was only amplified when he started befriending other disgruntled soldiers. Him and his army buddies would get together a few times a week to drink beers, shoot guns, and talk politics.

[01:12:25]One day, Isaac turned to his buddies and said, "Hey, you know what would be cool?

[01:12:29]If we like overthrew the government or something." And just like that, the Fear Militia was formed. The group became especially popular with soldiers suffering from PTSD. Isaac filled their heads with ideas of giving the government back to the people, aka anarchy. One of Isaac's top recruits was 19-year-old Michael Rooric, who kind of became like his protege. Now, at first, the whole thing was kind of a LAR, but over time, Isaac got sick of laring and decided he wanted to take action. At first, the whole thing was kind of like Project Chaos from Fight Club. The gang plotted to blow up landmarks and poison crops to create civil unrest. But eventually, the scope grew to completely taking over Fort Stevens and, oh yeah, assassinating Barack Obama.

[01:13:15]Isaac Aguigi had a particular hate boner for Obama, who he viewed as socialist, globalist, and uh worst of all, black.

[01:13:22]Now, pulling all of this off wasn't going to be cheap. But Isaac recently got a huge cash injection after his wife passed away. Up to this point, he had spent most of the money on strippers and drugs, but now he shifted the cash flow to guns and bomb-making materials. But despite the violent plots, Isaac insisted that he never wanted to kill civilians. He just wanted to spark a revolution. Fortunately though, none of Isaac's plans would ever come to fruition. But unfortunately, civilians would end up getting killed. One of them was Isaac's own protege, Michael Ror.

[01:13:54]Isaac started freaking out Ror and he began having doubts about the whole murdering the president idea. So, he distanced himself from the fear militia and Isaac, who by this point was a completely unhinged lunatic on a power trip exacerbated by his drug use. Isaac felt betrayed by Ror and decided that he had to go. So, he had met with the Fear Militia's inner circle and convinced the other members that Ror had stolen money from him and that he was liable to talk to the police about their little gang.

[01:14:24]Now, Isaac had fostered a bit of a cultlike atmosphere. And most of the members were fully on board with offboarding Ror, all except one, that is. Michael Bernett, one of Fear's founding members, was apprehensive about, you know, homicide. He pleaded with the rest of the group not to go through with this, which really pissed Isaac off. Eventually, though, he was convinced to get on board after Isaac threatened to murder his one-year-old son. Now that the whole crew committed, Isaac put his plan into motion. He called up Michael to go shooting in the woods. Now, this kid had no clue that he was about to be bumped off. He didn't even know Isaac had a problem with him, so he agreed to go. But when he showed up, there was a problem. He brought his girlfriend without telling anybody. But it didn't matter. Isaac had decided that his fate was sealed. So he ordered two of his henchmen to take out both Ror and his girlfriend, to which they gleefully complied. When Isaac gave the go-ahad, fear officers, Chris Salmon and Mike Pettin, walked up to Ror's car and pulled out their pistols. They both took turns eliminating Ror and his girlfriend execution style before quickly fleeing the scene. On the car ride home, Salmon remarked, "I can't believe I did that.

[01:15:32]It felt amazing." Now that they had a taste for blood, it was only a matter of time before they went for the president.

[01:15:37]But they would never get that opportunity. These idiots just left the bodies there in the car on the side of the road. No attempt to cover it up at all. The police immediately zeroed in on Isaac and his henchmen, but they all had an airtight alibi. They were at Salmon's house drinking beers and barbecuing.

[01:15:54]Pretty good. But investigators discovered that Isaac had purchased a huge arsenal of weapons and explosives, which at the very least is a little suspicious. And to make matters worse, it turns out that Isaac was already being investigated for murder. The murder of his wife. Yeah. It turns out the dude killed his wife after they got into an argument. Like this guy was a straightup psychopath. But it still wasn't enough. So military police kept looking. After a few days though, Isaac had a feeling that the walls were closing in on him. So he packed a go bag and was ready to run away to Washington state so he could hide out. But before he got the chance, the MPs came and arrested Isaac, Pedin, Salmon, and Bernett and took them in for questioning. Now fear was like the mafia. They were like a family with a code of silence. It would take a lot to make these guys turn on each other.

[01:16:39]Check notes.

[01:16:41]Oh, no. They they immediately turned on each other. Bernett, who was basically forced into the situation under duress, immediately spilled the beans. Pedent followed soon after placing all the blame on Aguigi and claiming that he only did it because his son was also threatened. Then in a very unsurprising twist, Isaac tried to place the blame on Pedin and pointed out that he never actually killed anyone. Well, except his wife. But the judge wasn't buying this Charlie Manson [ __ ] so he gave him life in prison. Obama was spared once again, but it wouldn't be long before he would become the target of a racist mad scientist. a high-ranking KKK member invented a death ray which he planned to use on American Muslims and eventually Obama himself.

[01:17:25]I know this sounds like some [ __ ] straight out of the Onion, but I'm being deadass serious. Glendon Scott Crawford, who was apparently part of the KKK's Mad Scientist division, created this remote controlled truckmounted X-ray weapon that he dubbed Hiroshima on a kill switch. The idea behind the device is that it would release so much radiation that anyone nearby without at least 20 rad resist would die within days. His plan was to park the van outside of mosques and Islamic centers in New York to rid the US of Muslims, including the president of the United States, Barack Obama.

[01:18:03]I need to stop ripping nitrous between takes. Now, you're probably thinking, "Uh, this sounds ridiculous and it would never work." But you're only partially right. X-ray weapons are real and they have been used to like give people cancer in the past. But even those require more prolonged exposure. You're not just dead within 24 hours. But even if it was possible to create a Chernobyl gun out of a box of scraps, Glenn Crawford was no Tony Stark. Okay, the guy was kind of a putt. His friends described him as a mix between Darth Vader and Forest Gump, which is pretty spot-on, I think. To make things even funnier, he was like very pro-Israel for some reason. Yes, folks, you heard me right. We got a a KKK Zionist, an archetype I did not think was possible.

[01:18:44]Now, I'm bringing this up because Glenn went around Jewish organizations in New York trying to raise money for his death ray. I guess he figured that the Jews would be chomping at the bit to destroy the enemies of Israel. But instead, they called the feds on him. And it didn't take long for him to get arrested because he was not very subtle. bro was like openly talking about using a death ray on the president. On August 21st, 2015, Crawford was sentenced to 30 years in prison on charges of conspiring to use a weapon of mass destruction. You know, he's lucky he didn't do this [ __ ] under the Bush administration or they might have bombed the entire state of New York.

[01:19:21]Now, I almost skipped Biden because like honestly his presidency was kind of a filler arc, you know, like not much happened, but there was actually quite a few attempts on his life, which is not surprising considering the fact that his predecessor said that he, you know, stole the election and whatnot. May 2020, Canapapolis, North Carolina.

[01:19:41]Police received a call about a van that was left abandoned in the parking lot of a local bank. When police showed up, they looked inside the van's windows and saw a rifle sitting on one of the seats.

[01:19:51]Probable cause. What? This schmuck never heard of a window tint or like not leaving your gun where it's visible to anybody walking by? The cops impounded and searched the van and they found half a dozen firearms, hundreds of rounds of ammunition, drawings of swastikas and planes crashing into buildings, and $500,000 cash. The next day, a guy walked into the bank and asked one of the tellers, "Hey, uh, what happened to my I mean, what happened to that van that was outside? That's definitely not mine." The police were alerted and he was arrested soon after. The guy's name was Alex Tman, and he looks pretty much exactly how you would expect. Straight [ __ ] Chud. Let me tell you, this guy was every lawyer's worst nightmare because when he was brought in for questioning, this mother sucker sang like a freaking toucan. He immediately confessed that he was plotting to remove Joe Biden from the census. He also had an obsession with mass shootings and terrorist attacks. I don't even want to imagine what's happening to this guy in prison. Bro, Donald Trump is a bit of a polarizing figure. I don't think I'm telling any tales out of school when I say that.

[01:20:57]People either love this man to the point of retardation or think he's the spawn of Satan. So, it shouldn't surprise you at all to know that Trump takes the number one spot when it comes to assassination attempts and plots. Even when you take out the scops and false flags, he's still up there. Listen, man.

[01:21:12]It's just part of the territory of making America great again. So, yeah, I'm just going to talk about the more interesting ones. I'm not going to talk about all of them, even though that is the title of this video. Well, before he got into office, Trump was a divisive figure, not just in the US, but around the world. His rhetoric against undocumented immigrants in particular was pretty spicy. So, it should come as no surprise that the first ever attempt on Trump's life was made by an illegal immigrant. Now, you're probably picturing someone who looks like this, but the illegal immigrant in question was 20-year-old Michael Sanford from Dorking, England, which was a fitting place for this guy to be from cuz, you know, he's kind of a dork. He also had Asberers, but instead of being obsessed with like Sonic the Hedgehog or something, he became obsessed with Donald Trump. Michael visited the US in 2015, supposedly to meet a girl that he'd been chatting with online. But while he was there, Michael's mother said his behavior started to change. Her normally sweet and quiet boy had become angry and erratic. Most of his anger was pointed directly at Donald Trump. At some point, the hatred became so intense that Michael started plotting to take DT off the census. After his visa expired, Michael remained in the US illegally, and he had completely given up on living a normal life. His only priority in life was to take out the Donald. In July of 2016, he was finally ready to act. He went to Las Vegas the day before Trump was slated to do a rally there. When he arrived, Michael went to the gun rage to practice shooting, which was the first time he'd ever shot a gun. He shot around 20 rounds from a pistol and decided, "Yep, that's enough. I'm ready." The next day, he showed up at the Trump rally, ready to shoot. Uh, only one problem, though. Uh, he didn't have a gun. So, basically, Michael had two options here. He would either have to blow Trump up using telekinesis or somehow find a gun. He tried the first option, but that just ended up giving him a headache. As he was rubbing his throbbing temples, a police officer walked in front of Michael and a light bulb went off in his head, which only made his headache worse. But there was no time to worry about that. Mike walked right up to the cop and asked for an autograph. But it was just a ploy to reach for the officer's gun, but he wasn't quick enough. The cop tackled the [ __ ] out of him, and he was marched off the premises. The rally went off without a hitch. The whole plan was so silly that no one could really seriously take it as a threat. At first, the prosecutors were pushing for 10 years in prison, but presumably after seeing how unstable and awkward Michael was, they went easy on it. His whole family flew over from England to attend the court hearings and they went on a public tour defending their son's character, claiming he was a sweet boy with no history of violence. His father actually came out claiming he believed Michael may have been coerced or groomed into the assassination attempt.

[01:23:59]>> Been coerced. Groomed.

[01:24:02]>> Now, that's interesting. When the dust settled, Michael was sentenced to just 12 months in prison. But this was only the beginning. In his first term alone, Trump probably had like 7 billion threats against him, but he survived unscathed. He was also safe during his second term since the election was stolen. Fast forward to 2024, though, Trump is back on the campaign trail for round three. July 13th, 2024, Trump was speaking at a rally in Butler, Pennsylvania. Now, since he's become president, and especially in his second term, Donald Trump has had a bad habit of surrounding himself with incompetent sickopantics.

[01:24:37]So, I guess his Secret Service was no exception because this incident was one of the biggest blunders in Secret Service history, even worse than the Gerald Ford Sarah Jane Moore fiasco from the 70s. The wouldbe asalent was 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Krooks. He lived in Bethl Park, just a short drive from Butler. When he saw Trump would be holding a rally, he started plotting.

[01:25:01]For about a week before the event, he kept going to the site of the rally and flying his drone around to scout the area. He also made several visits to the shooting range. This is when the cracks in the Secret Service started to show.

[01:25:14]Apparently, they had received intel about a threat to Trump's life 10 days before the Butler rally, but pretty much ignored it. According to a Senate investigation, they also denied multiple requests to beef up security at the event. And it gets worse. Thomas figured out that the AGR International Building had a perfect line of sight to the stage where the former slash future president would be speaking. That building with the perfect vantage point was left completely unsecured. Then on the day of the actual shooting, things got even worse. Krooks was spotted multiple times around the rally. About a half hour before the first shots rang out, a local police officer reported seeing a suspicious character using a rangefinder. Now, there's only one reason you would be using a rangefinder at a political rally. But still, nothing was done. Apparently, the FBI, Secret Service, and local police weren't communicating with each other, and they all lost sight of Crooks, giving him the perfect opportunity to climb on top of the AGR building undetected. Now, it wasn't just the feds who spotted Crooks.

[01:26:18]Multiple people in the crowd saw him on the roof and tried to alert the Secret Service, but once again, nothing was done. Bro was up there for like half an hour trying to get in the perfect position. 20 minutes before the first shot rang out, he was actually spotted by a member of the Secret Service. And once again, nothing was done. Just before 6:00 p.m., somebody finally decided to do something. Two police officers tried climbing on top of the AGR building, but they failed. and Krooks was able to get a direct shot at Trump, just narrowly missing his head and grazing his ear. He then fired two more shots, which both missed their target, instead wounding two people and killing a fireman that was attending the rally. Luckily, after three shots, the SS finally decided to wake up, and Krooks was quietly dispatched before he could get any more shots off. Now, what's absolutely insane is that not a single person was fired for this. Six people were just suspended. That's it.

[01:27:14]It was later revealed that Thomas Krooks had spent months meticulously planning this whole operation. Why?

[01:27:22]Nobody knows. No clear motive, no clear political affiliation, no clear opinions on anything really. It's like this dude was made in a [ __ ] lab. And this whole thing kind of got swept under the rug pretty quick. Also, I got to say it's impressive how miraculously fast Trump's ear healed. And no scar either, especially when you consider that he's like 80. You know, like my grandfather's around his age and he gets bruised when the wind blows too hard. After this, not even 6 months would pass before Trump was involved in yet another shooting incident. In comes Ryan Ralph, a 50-year-old North Carolina man with some of the most insane lore I've ever heard.

[01:27:57]In 2002, he was charged for possessing a weapon of mass destruction. But it's not like the kind of weapon of mass destruction you're thinking of. The guy didn't have like a fat man from Fallout 4. Let me explain. Basically, this guy was driving without a license, as one does, and he got pulled over, and the police officer asked him for his driver's license, which obviously he didn't have. Instead, he pulled out an automatic rifle, which I guess is considered a weapon of mass destruction, or it was at the time. Then, he sped off and pulled up to his roofing business and barricaded himself inside. After a three-hour standoff with police, he was finally arrested. The the insane thing is though, he didn't even go to prison for that long. By the way, this was his second runin with the law in less than 6 months. So yeah, this is the type of person we're dealing with. Not exactly the most mentally stable lad. Over the next 20 years, his mental instability would get even worse. In 2022, Ryan became obsessed with the Russo Ukrainian war. So much so that he flew to Ukraine with the goal of recruiting people to join the International Legion fighting against Russia. Or at least he tried to.

[01:29:09]When the Ukrainians actually talked to him, they quickly realized that he was a few nuts short of a sack. He spent two years in Ukraine trying to help, but the only thing he accomplished was pissing everybody off. According to one Ukrainian officer, the cats and dogs on the military bases did more than he did.

[01:29:28]He contributed no logistics, no help, no donations. He just talked. He didn't give a single bag of rice. Didn't donate a single sock. As far as I know, he didn't even get a single recruit into the Legion. Despite all of that though, Ryan was still desperate to help the Ukrainians. That's when he realized that aside from Putin himself, Trump was the biggest threat to Ukraine. So, he felt like he only had one choice, to whack Donald Trump. He figured his best bet was to do it at Trump's golf course in Palm Beach. On September 15, 2024, Ryan pulled up and propped himself up by a fence near the sixth hole and waited for the perfect time to pull the trigger.

[01:30:07]But before he could get a shot off, Ryan heard a bullet whiz by his head. He looked over and saw a Secret Service agent aiming right at him, so he took off running. Didn't make it far, though.

[01:30:16]During his trial, Ryan opted to represent himself because of course he did. You know, that's such a Ryan move.

[01:30:23]He then asked the judge for a 27-year sentence, but he compromised. He got life in prison instead. I don't have a good segue for this next one. In September of 2017, Trump was in the presidential limo on his way to give a speech in North Dakota, but he had no idea what was waiting for him. The most brilliant plot to assassinate a president in the history of the world.

[01:30:45]As Trump was driving on the freeway, a man named Gregory Lee was heading straight towards him, driving a stolen forklift. The idea was that Greg would use the forklift to flip Trump's limo over. But this genius plan was foiled when the forklift uh got stuck and couldn't move anymore. Man, this is like the type of [ __ ] you come up with after staying up all night drinking lean and watching Coyote and Roadrunner cartoons.

[01:31:11]All right, moving on to the last and most recent assassination attempt on Donald Trump. This was actually the thing that set me on the course of doing this video. After skipping the five previous ones, Trump finally decided to attend the White House correspondents dinner, which was hosted by Israeli magician Oz Pearlman. The dinner was then cut short by a series of gunshots.

[01:31:39]said shots actually came from the lobby of the Washington Hilton Hotel where the event was hosted. Once the Secret Service got word what had happened, they immediately evacuated the president, the first lady and vice president, and uh you know, [ __ ] everyone else, I guess.

[01:31:54]Now, the shots came not from the wouldbe assassin, but from the security trying to stop him. The man was Cole Thomas Allen, a teacher from California. I think that background alone gives you enough context to know why he wanted to whack Trump. Armed with a shotgun and a 38, Allan had taken a train all the way from LA to Washington DC to take Trump out. Before arriving in DC, he left his family a message where he called himself a friendly federal assassin. They're calling him the most cringe assassin ever. When Allan got to the Hilton, his brilliant plan was to Naruto run past all the guards until he made it into the main hall and then somehow he would no scope Trump from across the room. He made it like 10 ft before getting tackled to the ground. But he did manage to shoot a guard with his shotgun, but didn't really do any damage. Now, this situation was not taken seriously at all. Partly because Trump almost gets assassinated every other day, and partly because the dude was just like so cringe. It was funny.

[01:32:57]I don't know.