ASMR ULTIMATE CRANIAL NERVE EXAM MOST DETAILED 3 HOURS MEDICAL ROLEPLAY for SLEEP & INTENSE TINGLES

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:04]Hello there little creature.

[00:00:08]Didn't I see you last week or something like that for a hearing test? Isn't that right?

[00:00:16]Yes, I remember. I remember little creature. It's actually quite difficult to forget someone like you. You know what I'm saying?

[00:00:26]You're ever so small. It makes you kind of unique and peculiar and that sticks out in my little brain.

[00:00:37]Yes, indeed.

[00:00:40]Well then, my little creature, what are we doing today?

[00:00:46]Ah, yes. A cranial nerve exam. Isn't that correct?

[00:00:51]Yes, indeed, my little creature. Yes, indeed. Okay, let's just jump right into it then, shall we? Let's not fuff about or waste any time. The first thing I need to do with you, little creature, is test your ability to taste things. Can you taste things? We're about to find out, little creature. I have got three three bottles of artificial flavors for you to identify. But before I apply them to your little tiny tongue, I need to shake them up. Okay? So, just give me a second, little creature.

[00:01:48]Okay. What I'm going to do as well is transfer them into a little dropper. And then I'm going to drop the flavor into your tiny little mouth. Cuz you know if I pour this directly in there, goodness me. Goodness knows what will happen.

[00:02:02]Your mouth is so small I could accidentally water you. I guess that wouldn't be very good now, would it? No.

[00:02:10]No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

[00:02:15]Let's just transfer this into this little bottle.

[00:02:33]Okay, that's good. That's good.

[00:02:44]Okay. Excellent. I have some of the artificial flavor right here in this dropper. Open up that tiny little mouth of yours, please.

[00:02:53]And it goes plop.

[00:02:58]Okay, my little creature, can you tell me what that is? Like, please.

[00:03:06]Pineapple.

[00:03:08]Pineapple. You are absolutely correct, my little creature. Well done. Well done. Well done. Now I need to prepare the next one. Give me a moment. Please give me a moment.

[00:04:00]Oh, there we go. That's absolutely perfect.

[00:04:07]And here it is, little creature. Flavor number two, prepared just for you. Just for you, little creature. Open up that tiny little mouth of yours. Here it comes. Choo choo. Oh, there it is. There it is. Did I get some on your face there? Did I get some on your face there? One moment. One moment, little creature.

[00:04:33]Let me just clean that for you. Let me just clean that for you.

[00:04:41]Is that bad? Is that better? Is your face nice and clean, little creature? I think so. Okay. What does that one taste like, little Grinch?

[00:04:54]Chocolate.

[00:04:56]Chocolate. It tastes like chocolate. Oh, yes indeed. Well done, little creature. You are two for two.

[00:05:04]Two for two, my little creature. This is going well.

[00:05:07]Let me prepare the third and the final flavor for you.

[00:05:41]Put a little bit of this in the little Here it is, my little creature.

[00:06:00]The third and the final flavor. I'm going to put a little bit in your mouth now. Okay. So, here we go. Put a little bit.

[00:06:07]Oh, there we go. There we go. What does that taste like? Little creature.

[00:06:19]Strawberry cheesecake.

[00:06:21]Strawberry cheesecake. Yes, indeed, my little creature. That is the flavor of strawberry cheesecake.

[00:06:30]Excellent. Excellent job. Very good start to the cranial nerve exam, my little creature. But we must continue.

[00:06:37]We must continue. There are more tests to be done. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Okay. Now then, the second test is quite similar actually. The second test is the smell test. Okay, the smell test. Now, I have three bottles of artificial smells for you to identify for me, little creature.

[00:07:03]Let me shake up each bottle, though.

[00:07:05]Okay.

[00:07:17]Okay, my little creature, are you ready to do a little bit of sniffing?

[00:07:26]I'm going to hold this right next to your little nostril and you're going to have a sniff for me. Okay.

[00:07:36]What do you think?

[00:07:38]That smells like a little creature. What do you think? It smells like mint. It smells like mint. Oh yes. Oh yes indeed it is. Minty fresh. Minty fresh. Delightful. Excellent. Great job little creature. On the smell number two.

[00:08:06]Could you sniff that for me, little creature?

[00:08:27]And tell me, little creature, what does that smell like?

[00:08:35]Lavender. It smells like lavender. Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed it does, my little creature. How absolutely excellent your nostrils and your sense of smell appear to be. However, we must do one more smell. Okay, just one more. Just one more little hang in there.

[00:09:12]Take a little sniffy sniff of that for me, please.

[00:09:22]What do you think the third and the final smell smells like?

[00:09:30]Petroleum. Petroleum gas. Oh, yes indeed, baby. The smell of petrol. Oh.

[00:09:38]Oh, that's in the top five smells of all time in my opinion. I love smelling petrol.

[00:09:46]Oh yeah, baby. That smells good. You know what I'm saying? That smells real good. Okay. Okay. Okay. Excellent start to the cranial nerve exam, my little creature. Excellent start. But for the next couple of tests, I'm going to need to put some gloves on. Okay. So, please sit there nice and patiently.

[00:10:08]Is that okay, little creature?

[00:10:12]Do you mind ever so much if you just sit there patiently?

[00:10:18]Could you do that for me, my little creature?

[00:10:22]Just a little bit of patience. Just a little little bit of patience. A little bit of patience.

[00:10:27]Okay, I get my gloves on. Here we go.

[00:10:29]I'm going to get my gloves on now.

[00:11:21]Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. These gloves are absolutely on perfectly right now. They're so flipping perfect. It's unbelievable. Okay, now little creature. I need to poke and broad your face a little bit. Okay. Now then, my little creature, I am looking for the response of your face. Yeah. As I touch it.

[00:11:50]And of course, whilst I'm touching your face, whilst I'm touching your face, little creature, I need you to tell me if at any point you feel pain or discomfort. Okay. Pain or discomfort?

[00:12:03]Because that should not be happening. Of course, of course not. You should not be in pain or discomfort, my little creature.

[00:12:10]And if you are, then we shall remedy that at once. Remedy, remedyed, remedy it at once. Okay? So that you shall no longer be in any pain or discomfort.

[00:12:21]You shall simply be in a state of blissful existence. Blissful existence.

[00:12:29]What about this creature?

[00:12:34]How does that feel?

[00:12:41]Does that feel okay?

[00:12:48]Okay. Okay, that's good. That's a good sign. But we need to do the sharp or the soft test to be absolutely certain.

[00:12:56]Okay. Let me get my little apparatus.

[00:13:01]my little apparatus.

[00:13:09]Now then, my little creature, I'm going to poke your face with either the fork or the spoon.

[00:13:19]The spoon.

[00:13:21]And the spoon, of course, is going to feel soft. Soft little spoon. Soft little spoon. And the fork. Of course, that's going to feel sharp. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We don't like that, do we?

[00:13:37]No, no, no. But I need you to close your eyes now, little creature. I'm going to poke you on the face, and you just say sharp or soft, whatever you feel. Okay.

[00:13:47]Okay. Here we go.

[00:13:53]Sharp or soft?

[00:13:56]Good.

[00:14:00]Shop soft.

[00:14:03]Good.

[00:14:08]Sh soft.

[00:14:10]Good.

[00:14:15]Sh. Soft.

[00:14:17]Good.

[00:14:28]soft good soft good soft good. Okay, my little creature, you can open your eyes now. I think we have firmly established that the nerves in your face are working in tiptopic condition. Wouldn't you?

[00:14:55]Wouldn't you say so? Wouldn't you agree?

[00:14:58]What do you mean you're not the doctor?

[00:15:00]I am the doctor. I'm supposed to be the one that's evaluating you here. I am evaluating you. I was just trying to include you, little creature. Trying to make you feel like you're included. Is that such a bad thing?

[00:15:14]No. No, it's not. No, no, no.

[00:15:17]Okay, sleepy. I guess I guess I'll just keep being a doctor then, shall I?

[00:15:23]Fine. Fine. Let me get my next implement. Implement.

[00:15:36]Little creature. I'm going to be making some observations of your eyes.

[00:15:41]If you could simply stare directly ahead like you have no thoughts in that brain whatsoever, that should be an easy task for you. Do you know what I'm saying?

[00:15:56]Just a little joke, little creature.

[00:15:58]Just a little joke. I don't mean anything by that. Of course. Of course.

[00:16:02]Of course.

[00:16:05]Okay. Just keep letting me shine the light. Shine the light.

[00:16:11]Shine the light in your eyes. So in various different places I know it's bright. I know it is bright.

[00:16:20]That's the whole point. That is the whole point. So that I can see how your pupils are reacting.

[00:16:28]And so I could illuminate every millimeter, every nanometer of your eyes so that I can see if there are any problems. You know what I'm saying, little creature? You know what I'm saying?

[00:16:45]You don't know, do you? Because you're not a doctor. You're just a little creature.

[00:16:51]What do little creatures like you even do with their lives? What's the daytoday life of a little creature like?

[00:17:01]I do wonder. I do wonder.

[00:17:06]Okay, that's excellent. Now just look straight ahead once again.

[00:17:12]Ignore everything I'm doing. Okay, I'm just making some key observations.

[00:17:57]Interesting.

[00:17:58]Interesting. Stay right there, little creature. Stay right there.

[00:18:08]Open your tiny little mouth for me, please. I'm going to try and use this tongue depressor. It's a bit big, isn't it for you? Probably, but we'll see.

[00:18:16]We'll make it work. Okay, open your mouth. Go on. Go on. Go on. It's okay.

[00:18:20]It'll fit. It'll fit. Let's just get it right in there, shall we?

[00:18:24]Now, just let me make some observations.

[00:18:59]Okay. What about if I cover half your face? Okay. If I cover half your face.

[00:19:03]Hopefully it's difficult. Your face is so small. My face is so small. What if I use this? Actually, is that better? If I use this, is that better? Possibly.

[00:19:12]Possibly. Possibly.

[00:19:29]Okay. The other side. The other side needs to be the other side. The side is put that put that there. Just put that and you'll be cooking. You be cooking.

[00:20:02]Interesting. Interesting indeed.

[00:20:18]Do you know what this is, my little creature?

[00:20:21]Do you know what this is?

[00:20:24]That's an eye chart. An eye chart.

[00:20:26]Obviously, you know what that is. You're not that stupid, are you? No. No. No.

[00:20:31]No. No. No. Okay. I'm going to hold the eye chart. I'm going to point to it.

[00:20:38]You are going to read the letter out and we're going to keep going until I'm satisfied that your eyes work. Okay, let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

[00:22:02]Okay. Interesting.

[00:22:04]Interesting little results there, my little creature.

[00:22:08]How do you feel that went?

[00:22:13]I see. I see. You felt confident that you could see all those letters, did you?

[00:22:22]Okay.

[00:22:23]Yes. Tapping on your face is essential right now. This is a part of the testing.

[00:22:30]Okay. I'm the doctor. or the patient.

[00:22:34]You shall allow me to conduct any and all necessary tests.

[00:22:41]It is medical essential.

[00:22:46]Medical medical.

[00:22:48]You know what I'm saying? You can trust me. I'm a doctor.

[00:22:55]Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed.

[00:22:57]Okay, let me examine those ears of yours. Now, those ears on the side of your head. On the side of your head. I need to get my autoscope to you right there.

[00:23:12]So, I'm just starting to assemble my autoscope. Be patient. Okay. Be patient, little creature.

[00:23:22]This bloody thing is very fiddly, isn't it? It's very small. like you actually.

[00:23:28]And it's difficult for someone like me with my massive hands, my giant massive hands to really assemble it.

[00:23:47]Why is that not Why is that not This is what I get for buying autocopes off Amazon, isn't it?

[00:24:05]You know what I wanted to get recently?

[00:24:07]My little creature.

[00:24:10]You know those little chiropractor tools, those adjustment tools? They're like I wanted to get one of those, so I searched for them on Amazon.

[00:24:26]60 was the cheapest one.

[00:24:31]60 bloody pound. Can you believe it? And that was the cheap rubbish one. The actual good chiropractor adjustment tools, they're like hundreds of pounds.

[00:24:41]There's even one for over £1,000.

[00:24:44]Over £1,000. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Oh, there we go. There we go. Managed to get it in eventually, didn't I? Oh, excellent. We're ready.

[00:24:56]We're ready to go. How bombastic. How cool.

[00:25:03]Let me have a look inside that ear of yours, then, shall I?

[00:25:08]Oh, what the hell was that?

[00:25:11]What the What the hell is that?

[00:25:16]That's absolutely disgusting.

[00:25:19]That's absolutely absurd.

[00:25:23]I can't remember the last time I saw that amount of ear wax.

[00:25:29]What are you doing with your life, little creature?

[00:25:32]You seem to be producing an obesene amount of ear wax. That's unusual. Let me check the other ear of yours. Okay, let me check the other ears. Maybe the other ear will be better. Maybe it'll be better.

[00:25:46]Oh, hell no.

[00:25:49]Oh, hell no.

[00:25:52]This ear, I think this one's even worse than the other ear. What the flip? What the flip?

[00:26:01]That's disgusting. That is absolutely disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

[00:26:07]That's foul.

[00:26:08]foul. Okay, what I'm going to do, little creature, is I am going to book you in for an ear cleaning appointment. Okay, I can't do it now. Can't do it now because that alone will take at least 30 minutes.

[00:26:22]Okay, but roughly I would think so. I would think so. Looking at the absolutely foul views. Absolutely fies.

[00:26:30]Okay, but that will be next week, I think. Next week. Something like that.

[00:26:34]Okay, I'll book you in for an ear cleaning. Don't you worry. Don't you worry. your precious little head. You'll be just fine. We'll get these ears cleaned out for you. Okay, let's get these ears cleaned out. But next week, next week, next week. Now, for now, I think I will conduct a couple of very simple hearing tests on you, okay? Just to make certain that you can actually hear because I don't want you to send you out of this clinic if your hearing ability is impaired. You know what I'm saying? That might be dangerous. It might be dangerous. It might affect your safety in your day-to-day life. You know what I'm saying? Hearing is important.

[00:27:08]Hearing is very important indeed. Let me get some objects so we can conduct some hearing tests. Okay.

[00:27:20]Look at this object, my little creature.

[00:27:24]A green spiky ball.

[00:27:26]Green spiky ball. I love green spiky ball. I love it. I simply love it. Now close your eyes.

[00:27:36]Close your eyes, little creature. Do not open them and do not cheat. And don't listen to the rumbling of my tummy.

[00:27:43]Rumbly tummy. Rumbly tummy. I haven't had breakfast yet. Okay. Your appointment is very early for me, you know. Very early for me. So, let's get it done. Let's get it done. Right. Keep your eyes closed. Listen to the sound.

[00:27:55]Tell me what side of your head it comes from. The left or the right. Okay.

[00:28:02]Was that left or was that right?

[00:28:21]Good.

[00:28:39]Was that left or was that right?

[00:28:45]Good.

[00:29:02]Was that left or was that right?

[00:29:08]Good.

[00:29:11]Was that left or was that right?

[00:29:30]Good. Okay, I'm going to grab another object. We're going to do the same test with a very different type of sound.

[00:29:36]Okay.

[00:29:42]Left or right?

[00:29:44]Good.

[00:29:48]Left or right?

[00:29:51]Good.

[00:29:54]Left or right?

[00:29:57]Good.

[00:30:01]Left or right?

[00:30:03]Good.

[00:30:07]Left or right?

[00:30:09]Good.

[00:30:12]Left or right?

[00:30:15]Good.

[00:30:19]Left or right?

[00:30:21]Good.

[00:30:25]Left or right?

[00:30:27]Good.

[00:30:31]Left or right?

[00:30:33]Good.

[00:30:37]Left or right? Good. Okay, let's do another object.

[00:30:52]Left or right? Good.

[00:31:04]Left or right? Good.

[00:31:16]Left or right? Good.

[00:31:27]Left or right? Good.

[00:31:40]Left or right? Good.

[00:31:52]Left or right? Good. And as a bonus test, did you hear the rumbling of my tummy at the end there?

[00:32:01]Okay. Good. Good. That's a good sign.

[00:32:03]You know what? I'm actually quite satisfied that your hearing ability is good despite the fact that you have an abnormal amount of ear wax in your ears.

[00:32:16]Okay. So, despite being abnormal, abnormal. You are functioning just fine.

[00:32:22]Just fine. And I mean, what more can you ask for? We can't all be perfectly normal like me, can we?

[00:32:30]No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no.

[00:32:32]People look at me and they wish they could be as normal as me.

[00:32:38]Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Okay, let me have a little bit of a think, little creature. Is that everything that we need to do today? Put the green on.

[00:32:50]We tasted We tasted. We tested your sense of taste, your sense of smell, your ability to feel, your nerves, the nerves on your face, your eyesight appears to be good. Appears to be good.

[00:33:03]Your hearing appears to be good as well.

[00:33:05]Your ears we found to be very dirty, didn't we? But we will clean those next week.

[00:33:12]I think we're done. I think we're done, little creature. And you know what? I think that that was a phenomenal cranial nerve exam. One of many amazing cranial nerve exams that I have done. Yes, indeed. Because I'm a doctor. You know, I'm a doctor. So, I regularly do cranial nerve exams and all manner of other medical testing, too. And you know what?

[00:33:36]I'm so professional and competent that every single one is an absolute gem.

[00:33:42]It's perfect. It's excellent. It's wonderful. Should you ever need anything else, you come to me right away, little creature. Okay? Right away. And I shall be more than happy. More than happy to perform a little test on you, little test. Okay? Okay. Good.

[00:34:03]Well then, my little creature. Well then, my little creature. I will see you next week for some ear cleaning, shanty.

[00:34:13]Yes, indeed. Yes indeed. I'll see you next week for some e cleaning. And until then, take care, my little creature.

[00:34:22]Take care.

[00:34:25]Goodbye.

[00:34:41]Are you grateful for your life, my friend? Do you feel good about it? Do you feel good about the way you've behaved?

[00:34:49]Maybe these are things to consider.

[00:34:51]Maybe if you do survive this, you could think about how you would like to spend your life in the future. Maybe you'd like to change some of your habits, some of your behaviors. Maybe you'd like to treat certain people a little bit better. Maybe you'd like to treat certain people a little bit worse.

[00:35:07]It's up to you, my friend. I ain't judging. It's your life. You live it exactly how you want and don't let anybody stop you. With that in mind, my friend, I'm going to shoot you.

[00:35:22]Goodbye.

[00:35:33]Are you alive?

[00:35:36]Okay. Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax, relax. I'm the club doctor. Okay. I am the club doctor. I'm looking after you.

[00:35:48]Do you remember what happened?

[00:35:52]Do you know where you are?

[00:35:55]You're in a club. You just played buckshot roulette and it didn't go very well for you. I'll just say that much.

[00:36:04]You're lucky to be alive actually.

[00:36:08]Yes. Yes. I just brought you back with a defibrillator. You know, a defibrillator.

[00:36:15]So, your heart might be a little bit unusual at the moment. You might feel quite bad. I need to do some checks on you, okay? to make certain that you're okay, that you can get up and walk around, you know, and go about your day-to-day life without collapsing or something, you know. Give me one second.

[00:36:39]I'm going to get my stethoscope and I'm going to listen to your heart now. Okay, one second, my friend. One second.

[00:37:01]Okay. This might feel a little bit cold.

[00:37:04]Okay.

[00:37:10]Oh, your heartbeat is a little fast.

[00:37:14]That's quite fast actually.

[00:37:20]I mean, I guess that is to be expected, though. You did just get shot. You became unconscious and you've been zapped by a defibrillator. Zippity zapped. Zippity zapped. Okay. But that just saved your life. Okay. It's brought you back.

[00:37:37]Brought you back from the other side.

[00:37:39]Did you see anything? Did you see anything whilst you were there?

[00:37:45]Technically, you died. Technically, you were dead. I don't know how long for exactly. Probably minutes, less than 2 minutes, I would say total. But surely that would have been enough time for you to have seen what was after this life.

[00:38:04]You didn't see anything.

[00:38:08]That's concerning. That's very concerning indeed.

[00:38:12]Let me get some gloves on and let me do a couple of tests on you. Okay? just to make certain that you're okay. Maybe you're not right in the head just yet after that traumatic incident that you just had There we go. I'm just going to touch around your face, okay? If I might.

[00:39:15]So, do you remember what happened?

[00:39:20]Not really. Everything's a little bit of a blur, is it? A little bit of a blur.

[00:39:25]Do you remember your name? At least.

[00:39:29]Okay. At least remember that much. That is a good sign. That is a good sign. You came to the club and you wanted to play a gambling game, a game called Buckshot Roulette, and we determined that you could play.

[00:39:47]We let you into the back room to play buckshot roulette against the dealer.

[00:39:52]Very high stakes game. Very high reward potentially if you win.

[00:39:59]But unfortunately, my friend, you did not win. You lost all the money you put on the line.

[00:40:07]But luckily, you didn't lose your life.

[00:40:10]And I mean, what a price could you put on that? What price could you put on your life? Actually think about it now.

[00:40:18]What could how much would you value your life at in terms of money?

[00:40:24]Millions? Surely. Surely billions. I don't know. I don't know. A lot of people they could never dream of earning a billion in their entire lifetime.

[00:40:36]Even a million possibly would be very difficult. Although over the course of an entire lifetime, I think perhaps it is possible.

[00:40:44]Maybe if we weren't so brutally taxed.

[00:40:47]Do you know what I'm saying? Maybe then I'm getting off topic, aren't I? Don't worry. I am examining you. I am examining you. It's okay if I waffle and ramble a little bit. You don't mind if I waffle and ramble a little bit, do you?

[00:41:05]No.

[00:41:09]Who am I? I I told you earlier I'm the club doctor. The club doctor.

[00:41:14]I do all the necessary medical things to keep people like you alive. People that play this buckshot roulette.

[00:41:23]Not everyone is as lucky as you, though, my friend. Not everybody is as lucky as you.

[00:41:31]What do you mean you don't feel very lucky? You're alive. That's all that matters. You are alive. Do you know the infinite infinite infinite infinite possibilities that exist now?

[00:41:44]Guess how many possibilities exist when you're dead?

[00:41:48]Zero. Zero possibilities. Unless there is an afterlife. But judging by your near-death experience and what you saw afterwards, which was nothing, it is a little bit concerning, my friend, to think that there may be nothing after this life.

[00:42:10]However, nothing could be blissful as well. You know, it could be blissful forgetting all the turmoil and the difficulty and the struggle of this life and simply non-existent.

[00:42:22]Okay, let me get a light.

[00:42:30]This is going to be very bright. Okay, I'm testing how your pupils are reacting.

[00:42:39]And how do you feel during this?

[00:42:48]Any headaches? Headaches?

[00:42:53]flashing pain, any abnormalities with your vision, perhaps a lingering image of light.

[00:43:14]Now you're feeling okay.

[00:43:17]Excellent. Excellent sign. Let me cover one of your eyes. Okay. A bit difficult with you lying on the floor here, but I don't want to get you up just yet.

[00:43:35]And what is that like?

[00:43:40]Very bright. Yes, indeed. I imagine it is.

[00:43:46]But hopefully not too strenuous.

[00:43:51]or unpleasant for you.

[00:43:56]It's a little bit unpleasant.

[00:43:59]Well, I'm just going to repeat the test with the other eye and then we should be done with this particular test. Okay.

[00:44:38]What do you mean I'm a little bit shaky?

[00:44:40]Yes, I'm a little bit shaky. Do you know what it's like to be the club doctor?

[00:44:46]I have to work 12hour night shifts every day, seven days a week. Do you work 12 hours 7 days a week? I don't think so. I don't think so. Looking at you, you look like a rep probate. I'll be amazed if you even work 40 hours a week. Although, why should we place our value upon how many hours per week we work? The number of hours is absolutely redundant.

[00:45:17]The actual productivity that we do, you know what I'm saying? What we actually manage to create and do that is much better mark a measure for our value. But even then that is stupid because we all have inherent value. Don't you think so?

[00:45:39]Don't you think so? You don't think we have inherent value, do you? You think we create our value by what we bring into the world? Just adjusting just adjusting your neck a little bit there. Is that painful?

[00:45:56]No, that's okay, is it?

[00:46:01]So, what did you just say? You don't believe we have inherent value? You don't believe we're just born with value?

[00:46:08]So what? You don't believe that? like a bunny rabbit has any value because obviously a bunny rabbit is not productive, is it? It's not going to the office for a 9 to5, is it?

[00:46:19]That's different. How is that different?

[00:46:22]We are all God's creatures, my friend.

[00:46:24]We are all God's creatures. You are just like the bunny rabbit. We have inherent value, inherent beauty. We bring something unique to the world, each and every one of us. You should remember that, my friend. You should remember that. Maybe then you'd spend less time drinking and gambling.

[00:46:43]Although I'm not sure. Who knows? This world is crazy. This world is crazy. You do what you want, my friend. I'm not judging you. I'm not pretending that I have all the answers. I'm just as confused as you. Just as confused as you. Except obviously I don't go around playing ridiculous gambling games where I shoot myself in the face.

[00:47:05]Let me do a couple more tests on you.

[00:47:07]Okay.

[00:47:17]Open your mouth for me.

[00:47:20]I'm just going in there. Yes, I am using the light again. Okay. Yes, I am.

[00:47:40]Okay, let us do that again. Your head seems a little bit wobbly, but you're not feeling too good.

[00:47:48]Feeling a bit weak, is it? Struggling to keep your neck upright. I understand.

[00:47:52]You didn't just get shot, you know, multiple times, I think. I'm not even sure. You don't remember how the game went. It's probably for the best. I'm going to stick this back in your mouth now. Okay.

[00:48:32]Okay. Okay. I'm going to give you a little liquid solution medicine for you to swallow. Okay. This is going to make you feel a lot better. Don't worry.

[00:48:41]Going to relieve you of the pain as well. Okay. So, it's an allin-one medicine. It is perfect. I use it on everybody. Don't you worry, my little friend. Don't you worry.

[00:48:56]I'm just going to shake it up.

[00:49:27]Let me transfer it into a little dropper. A little dropper. Do I have a little dropper here? Ah, yes. Yes. Yes.

[00:49:34]Indeed I do. Indeed I do. Let me transfer it.

[00:49:46]Okay, I need to get the precise measurement. The precise measurement.

[00:49:52]The precise dosage. You know what I'm saying? The correct dosage. It is absolutely paramount that I get the correct dosage. I don't want you to OD on medicine. Just because it's medicine doesn't mean it's universally good for you. Too much of anything is bad. You know, that's what you need to learn, isn't it? That is what you need to learn, my little friend. Moderation.

[00:50:16]Moderation. Self-control.

[00:50:25]Do a little bit.

[00:50:29]Okay. Okay. That should be excellent.

[00:50:42]Okay.

[00:50:52]Okay. Is that good? There we go. You ready, my friend? Open that little mouth of yours. Open the little mouth of yours.

[00:51:00]Oh. Oh, goodness me. I made a bit of a mess there, didn't I? made a bit of a mess there, but we did get some in your mouth. Let me wipe your face, you poor little thing. You stay still. Stay still.

[00:51:20]Oh, goodness me. Look at this. Made a mess all over yourself, didn't you?

[00:51:27]What do you mean I made the mess? I made the mess. Are you crazy? Are you out of your mind? I missed your mouth, did I?

[00:51:35]With the dropper. How could I do such a thing? I'm a skilled doctor. Do you know these hands have performed surgeries?

[00:51:43]Your mind couldn't even comprehend. You couldn't even comprehend the things that these hands have done. The things that these fingers are capable of.

[00:51:56]You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? That's just a little joke.

[00:52:00]Okay, that's a little joke. Relax.

[00:52:02]Relax. Relax.

[00:52:03]We're just here to do medical stuff today. Just here to do medical stuff today.

[00:52:17]Let me just very quickly test how your hearing has been affected by your activities.

[00:52:25]I want you to close your eyes, my friend. I'm going to make a clicky sound, okay? And you're going to tell me whether it is coming from the left or the right side of your head. Is that salute?

[00:52:38]Good. Let's go, my friend.

[00:52:43]Left or right?

[00:52:46]Good.

[00:52:50]Left or right? Good.

[00:52:56]Left or right?

[00:52:58]Good.

[00:53:03]Left or right?

[00:53:05]Good.

[00:53:10]Left or right?

[00:53:12]Good.

[00:53:16]Left or right?

[00:53:18]Good.

[00:53:23]Left or right?

[00:53:25]Good.

[00:53:29]Left or right?

[00:53:32]Good.

[00:53:36]Left or right?

[00:53:38]Good.

[00:53:42]Left or right?

[00:53:44]Good. Okay. Okay. Excellent. Excellent.

[00:53:49]Excellent. It looks like you can hear very well. You can open your eyes now.

[00:53:53]That's fine. Or you can keep them closed. It doesn't really matter.

[00:53:57]Whatever feels better to you, you know.

[00:54:01]Now, what I'm going to do is I'm going to place an object on your face, and you're going to tell me whether or not you can feel it. Okay?

[00:54:11]Does that make sense?

[00:54:13]Okay, here it comes.

[00:54:19]How was that? Did you feel that? Okay, good.

[00:54:27]What about that? Did you feel that?

[00:54:30]Good.

[00:54:34]What about that? Did you feel that?

[00:54:38]Good.

[00:54:42]What about that? Did you feel that?

[00:54:46]Good.

[00:54:50]What about that? Did you feel that?

[00:54:54]Good.

[00:54:58]What about that? Did you feel that?

[00:55:02]Good. And how would you describe the feeling, my friend?

[00:55:08]Kind of sharp. Yes, that does make sense. There's a lot of little spiky things on here. Little spiky things.

[00:55:14]They feel a little bit too sharp against your face. Okay, that is excellent. I think to really see if any damage has been done to you, we need to check your ability to taste and your ability to smell. Okay. So, I'm going to use a couple of little artificial flavors and smells and see if you can correctly identify them for me. Is that okay? Does that make sense?

[00:55:41]Excellent. Excellent. Excellent.

[00:55:47]Let us begin with the smell. was okay.

[00:56:08]Now then, could you take a little sniffer of that, please?

[00:56:19]And what do you think that smells like?

[00:56:24]Chocolate. You think it smells like chocolate? Chocolate. Chocolate.

[00:56:29]Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Yes indeed. Well identified. Well identified. Let us move on to another smell.

[00:56:55]Get ready for another sniffer.

[00:57:08]And tell me, what does that one smell like?

[00:57:14]Coffee. It smells like a coffee. Indeed.

[00:57:18]Coffee. Coffee. I think coffee and chocolate are actually very similar. I think they're related both from little brown beans. You know what I'm saying?

[00:57:27]Little brown beans.

[00:57:29]Something like that. I don't really know. I'm a doctor, not a food expert.

[00:57:35]You know what I'm saying?

[00:57:37]Let us move on to the third and the final smell for you to identify.

[00:57:56]Are you ready?

[00:57:58]Have a little sniffer with those nostrils.

[00:58:10]And what does that one smell like?

[00:58:14]Body odor. Yes, indeed. That's a bit of a funny smell for you to identify body odor.

[00:58:22]No, no, no, no, no. That's not me. That is not me, my friend. I shower daily.

[00:58:28]Daily with soap. With soap. Okay. And I use deodorant. Okay. So, that's not me.

[00:58:36]There's not me that you can smell.

[00:58:38]That's the artificial smell. Okay. Good.

[00:58:41]I'm glad we cleared that up. I'm glad we cleared that up. Now, let us move on to the artificial flavors.

[00:58:52]Let's go.

[00:59:12]Open your mouth, my friend. I'm going to put just a little droplet of this flavor on the on your tongue.

[00:59:22]There we go.

[00:59:29]What does that taste like?

[00:59:34]Lemon.

[00:59:36]It tastes like lemon. You know, I don't like the flavor of lemon. Actually, not on food anyway. Lemonade. That is good.

[00:59:47]Delicious Sprite. Oh, what a top beverage.

[00:59:53]Adoptier beverage. Sprite. I love a little bit of Sprite, baby. Let us do the next flavor.

[01:00:22]Open up that mouth. You know how it goes. You know how it goes.

[01:00:35]What does that taste like, my friend?

[01:00:42]Mint. Mint. Are you sure it took you a little bit of time to identify that, didn't it? Mint. Yes. Yes, it is mint.

[01:00:51]You are correct. Yes. Yes. Okay. Well, even if it took you a little bit of time, that's okay. I guess you did just get shot in the head, haven't you?

[01:01:00]You've been shot, haven't you? You poor little thing. You poor little thing.

[01:01:04]Actually, yes. I'm amazed that you're in this good condition at all now that I think about it. Anyway, let us do the third and the final flavor. Okay.

[01:01:36]Here we go. Here we go. In the mouth it goes.

[01:01:48]Now then, can you tell me what does that third and final flavor taste like?

[01:01:57]It tastes like defeat.

[01:02:00]Well, that's uh defeat. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what's on the bottle there. That's chocolate. That tastes like chocolate.

[01:02:08]Defeat. I think you might be having some residual taste in the back of your mouth of the defeat that you just suffered whilst playing bugshot roulette. I think that might be interfering with your judgment, my friend. Your judgment.

[01:02:26]Okay, listen, listen, listen, listen.

[01:02:29]Let me take one last little look at you.

[01:02:31]A couple of little observations.

[01:02:46]I'm just going to get really really really up close and personal with you. Okay. As opposed to the far distance that I've been examining you from previously.

[01:03:10]Okay. You know what? You know what?

[01:03:13]Considering everything that you've been through, you're looking pretty good, actually, considering everything that you've been through. And I've patched you up as best as I can.

[01:03:33]and a few tests on you.

[01:03:44]And I do believe I do believe that this is as good as it's going to get. Okay.

[01:03:53]Yes. Yes. I do think that that is as good as you're going to get today. Okay.

[01:03:59]Obviously, go home, rest, don't drink anymore, don't abuse any substances. I know what you reprobates are like. Doing all these sort of degenerate activities.

[01:04:16]Dut everything in moderation, my friend.

[01:04:21]Everything in moderation. One or two is fine. You know, one or two is fine. But not an endless bend. Not a multi-day bender. No. No. That's too much. That is far too much. Okay. Go home, rest, drink something that isn't alcoholic. Have some real food, some actual nourishment.

[01:04:43]Have some sleep. You will feel 100 times better, my friend. You need to look after this little physical earthly vessel of yours. You know, you can't just do what you want. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are all constrained by the parameters of reality. Unfortunately, as much as we wish we weren't, we simply are. That is it. We need to look after this physical vessel. Otherwise, we shall simply cease to exist entirely. And we don't want that now, do we? No, we don't. No, we don't. Okay. Well, I think you're good to go. I think I may have somebody else to look after in a minute. judging by what I can hear through the door. So, I'm going to send you off now. I'm going to make sure that you leave this club, you naughty little thing. You naughty little thing. And you'd better go straight home and go straight to sleep.

[01:05:41]Is that understood? That's doctor's orders. Go to sleep. Go to sleep, you silly little sausage. You silly little sausage. Go to sleep.

[01:05:55]Go to sleep.

[01:05:57]Goodbye.

[01:06:09]Hello again. I saw you very recently, didn't I?

[01:06:15]Yes. Guess what? Guess what?

[01:06:20]That's right. It's still raining in my office.

[01:06:26]It is still flipping raining in my office. Can you believe it? Can you absolutely believe it? I can't. I cannot believe it. And frankly, I'm going to say it. I am pissed off.

[01:06:46]Yes. Yes. I know I shouldn't say that word, but I just did. Okay. I just did because that is how I feel. You don't understand what it's like having to come into work every single day and it is raining. It is raining inside the office.

[01:07:05]I have to wear this ridiculous raincoat and goggles just so that I don't get soaking wet.

[01:07:15]You understand that I'm here for 8 hours a day, right?

[01:07:20]Eight hours a day in this internal rain.

[01:07:24]This infernal rain. You know what I'm saying? Internal infernal internal internal rain. This internal rain.

[01:07:33]Absolutely. I am so grumpy. It is unbelievable.

[01:07:37]Unbelievable. But regardless of all that, regardless of all that, my friend, it's not your problem, is it? And it's not your fault. So I should not be making my problems your problems. Isn't that correct?

[01:07:57]Absolutely. Absolutely.

[01:08:00]So what I'm going to do is I'm going to remain a professional professional. I'm going to remain a medical professional as I am a medical professional. A medical professional. And we're going to do your cranial nerve exam appointment today. Okay. That's what you're in for, isn't it? Cranial native exam. Yes. Yes.

[01:08:19]Yes. Yes. Okay. Cranial native exam. We shall do that. We shall do that poste.

[01:08:25]Let me quickly examine you though. Okay.

[01:08:27]Let me quickly examine.

[01:08:36]I'm just going to use my magnifying glass to get a really good look at you. Okay.

[01:08:45]Oh, that's it, isn't it? That is the business.

[01:08:50]That is the absolute business.

[01:08:56]The business. You might say the business.

[01:09:04]Okay. So, if you could keep them relatively still for me, please.

[01:09:10]I'm just checking a few of the the closeup minor details to begin with before we really get into the meat of the green. Exactly. The meat.

[01:09:23]Just sort of getting this this little section out of the way really so that we can concentrate on the important stuff.

[01:09:32]The important stuff.

[01:09:38]Just take a look there. Just take a little look.

[01:09:44]Okay, that's interesting.

[01:09:47]That is actually quite interesting. That is actually quite interesting. Interesting.

[01:09:58]Interesting.

[01:10:04]Okay.

[01:10:08]Okay. Okay, I think I'm happy with the observations I made.

[01:10:14]Clicky squeaky little magnifying glass.

[01:10:16]Isn't it silly, silly? I should get a new one, but you know, I have an emotional attachment to this one. An emotional attachment to this magnifying glass. We've been through so much together. We have been through so much together.

[01:10:30]Bless you, you little magnifying glass.

[01:10:32]Bless you. Bless you. Okay, let us let's actually start with the crunch exam. Let us do the taste test to begin with. The taste test. Okay, one moment. One.

[01:10:53]What I'm going to do is I'm going to shake up a couple of different flavors.

[01:10:59]Let's do three three different flavors.

[01:11:01]And then I need to transfer it into the little dropper. The applicator. The applicator. And then I'll I'll drop a couple of the little droplets of the flavor into your mouth. And then it's your job. It's your job to try and identify what the flavor is. Does that make sense?

[01:11:21]Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

[01:11:23]Good. Good. Let me just very quickly, very quickly, very quickly shake up the business. You know what I'm saying?

[01:11:29]Shake up the business.

[01:11:57]I just need to very quickly, very quickly transfer it to a little drop.

[01:12:11]Okay. Just very quickly. Just Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's go.

[01:12:19]Here is the Here's the You know, I can't see very well with these goggles. I can't see very well with these goggles.

[01:12:30]They obstruct my vision a little bit.

[01:12:32]They're a little bit more a little bit Okay. Okay. If you're ready, if you are ready, could you open your mouth, please? Tickle your tongue for me.

[01:12:47]There we go. Could put Okay. And what do you think that tastes like?

[01:12:58]Chocolate chip muffin.

[01:13:01]Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. It tastes like chocolate chip muffin. Excellent job.

[01:13:08]Excellent job. We have two more flavors to go. Two more flavors to go. Let me prepare the next one for you.

[01:13:48]Oh, did I splash a little bit on your face? Is that Was that No, I think it's okay, isn't it?

[01:14:00]I think you're fine. I think you're fine. Don't worry. You're fine. You're absolutely fine.

[01:14:20]Okay. Okay. Are you ready to identify flavor number two for me?

[01:14:28]Open up that mouth. Here it comes. Here comes the choo choo train. Choo choo.

[01:14:33]Choo choo. There it is. And what do you think that one tastes like?

[01:14:44]Banana bread. It tastes like banana bread.

[01:14:50]Correct. You are so flipping correct. It is unbelievable. Great job so far. But we have one more. One more to identify.

[01:15:01]Okay. One more to identify. Let me prepare that for you at once.

[01:15:53]Okay, are you ready to identify the third and the final flavor for me?

[01:16:00]Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

[01:16:05]And what does that taste like?

[01:16:22]That's a bit like is it a tongue twister or is it just nicer to say?

[01:16:31]Well, well done. Well done. Well done.

[01:16:34]You correctly identified all three flavors. But now we need to test your sense of smell. Yes, indeed. We need to do the smell test next. Same same thing really, but with smells instead of flavors. But let me get everything prepared. Okay, just I won't be long. I won't be long. I promise. One moment.

[01:17:01]One moment.

[01:17:28]Okay. With this one, I'm simply going to hold it up to your nostril and you are going to sniff. Okay.

[01:17:41]Excellent. Now, what does that smell like?

[01:17:48]Lime. Yes, indeed it smells like lime.

[01:17:53]Very good. Very well identified. On smell number two, we shall be doing the total of three. The same as the flavors.

[01:18:02]Okay, let's go.

[01:18:21]Are you ready? Are you ready? Prepare those nostrils and have a little sniffer, my friend.

[01:18:35]And could you tell me what does that one smell?

[01:18:41]Coconut.

[01:18:43]Coconut. Yes, indeed. That one smells like coconut. This one smells like lime.

[01:18:48]That one smells like a coconut. Do you know that you put the lime in the coconut? Do you know that you put the lime in the coconut? You put the lime in the coconut. You put the lime in the coconut. Do you know that? Do you know that? Okay. Okay. Right. Yes. My apologies. I will get on with it. As you say, I will get on with it. The third and the final smell. Here we go.

[01:19:28]Here we go. Have a little sne this one.

[01:19:37]What does that smell like?

[01:19:40]What does that smell like?

[01:19:44]It smells like an espresso martini. Oh, yes it does. Yes, it is. Espresso martini. You know what? I love espresso martini. I'm not even going to pretend like I don't cuz I do. I do, baby. I love espresso martini.

[01:20:02]Oh yes. Maybe I'll have one after work today. Maybe I'll have one in my lunch break. Who's going to stop me? Who's going to stop me? You. You're not going to stop me, are you?

[01:20:15]Okay, that is the smell test done.

[01:20:18]You've done the taste test. And the smell test. And you have passed both with flying colors. Flying colors. 100% success rate so far. Mar, you're doing so well. Doing so well. But now we must move on. We must move on. What shall I do next? Shall I look into those eyes of yours? Those beautiful little eyes.

[01:20:45]Let me get my light.

[01:20:51]Okay, if you could stay perfectly still for me and try not to close your eyes.

[01:20:58]But if you do need to blink, that is fine. You know, it is what it is.

[01:21:05]I'm just observing how your eyes are reacting to the light.

[01:21:15]Observing your eyes are reacting to the light.

[01:21:23]Interesting. Interesting.

[01:21:28]Do you feel any sort of discomfort at the moment?

[01:21:33]I know the light is bright. It is very bright. But is it like excessively uncomfortable? Does it cause you pain or headache? Anything like that?

[01:21:46]Not excessively. So, okay. That is good.

[01:21:49]That is what we That is what we look interesting.

[01:21:58]Can you hear that? Can you hear that infernal noise outside? Some sort of building work. Some sort of construction going on like on a nearby office. Maybe they should come to my office and fix this rain problem that I have. this bloody real problem.

[01:22:20]But nobody knows how to fix the problem.

[01:22:24]Nobody knows how to fix it. Nobody knows what it is. What is causing it? How peculiar, don't you think? Peculiar.

[01:22:31]Peculiar. Peculiar. Peculiarly.

[01:22:33]Peculiar. Peculiar.

[01:22:38]Could you open your mouth for me, please?

[01:22:43]I'm going to put this tongue depressor in your mouth and I'm going to use the light to look in there. It's just for convenience sake. You know, I've got the light so I may as well do this now.

[01:23:38]Okay, one moment. One moment. Let me just check your head. Okay. I'm going to touch your head a little bit.

[01:23:46]Okay. I did notice something else whilst I was observing your mouth. Okay. I think what I'm going to do now, I'm going to take a little break from examining your eyes. I shall return to that in a moment. But whilst I'm here, I'm going to ask you to do some facial expressions. This is part of the cranial nerve exam. I noticed something a little bit peculiar with your face then. Okay.

[01:24:12]So, what I'm going to need you to do is I'm going to need you to copy me and my facial expressions.

[01:24:18]Okay. So, the first thing that I would like you to do is a big smile for me, please.

[01:24:24]As big as you can possibly make it.

[01:24:27]Biggest you could possibly make it. And keep your mouth closed.

[01:24:31]Good. Now, I want you to frown, please.

[01:24:34]Frown as much as you possibly can. I want to see anger in your frown.

[01:24:42]Yes. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

[01:24:44]Good. Now, I want you to make a sad face.

[01:24:50]Make a sad face. Please. I want to really see the sadness in your mouth in particular. That's what I'm looking at.

[01:24:58]Okay. Good. Good. Good. Good. Now, I want you to puff out your cheeks.

[01:25:03]Imagine you're some sort of puffish.

[01:25:05]some sort of above your shoulder although getting ready to bl balloon or something like that.

[01:25:13]Excellent. Excellent. Excellent.

[01:25:14]Excellent. I want you please now to flare your nostrils. Play your nostrils over and over again. Make them wiggle for me. That's right. Shake it for me, baby. Wiggle it. Wiggle it. Wiggle it.

[01:25:26]Wiggle it. Wiggle it.

[01:25:30]Very good. Very good. Can you raise your eyebrows for me now, please? Raise your eyebrows for me.

[01:25:37]Good.

[01:25:38]Can you raise just the one on its own?

[01:25:42]What about the other one?

[01:25:45]That's okay. Some people struggle. Some people struggle. Can you wiggle your ears for me, please? Wiggle ears. You can't do that. You can't wiggle your ears. That's okay. That was actually just a joke. That's a joke. You don't need to wiggle your ears. Okay. But you do need to try and make your tongue into one of these.

[01:26:04]That thing, that thing there. You know what I'm saying?

[01:26:08]It's difficult for me to do actually.

[01:26:10]Difficult. I haven't done that in a long time. Can you do that with your tongue, please?

[01:26:15]Okay. Okay. Good. Good. Good. Good.

[01:26:17]Good. That's good. Okay. I was worried for a moment that I observed an abnormality in one of your cranial nerves. But after going through those facial expressions and those exercises, I have been relieved of my concern. Okay. It appears that everything is absolutely okay.

[01:26:39]And with that in mind, we can return to observing your eyes. Okay. Observing your eyes. Let me move on to the next part of the eye examination.

[01:26:57]Are you ready to do the eye test? The eye chart? It's classic. I don't need to explain it to you. No. I point to a letter. You say what it is. Pretty simple. Pretty simple. Let's go.

[01:28:18]Okay, that was very good. Very good indeed. Especially considering that it is raining. No doubt the rain is impeding your vision, making this a little bit more difficult. But you still did perfectly.

[01:28:34]I'm just making a couple of key observations right now on your face. I just noticed something right there.

[01:28:43]Right there.

[01:28:45]That is interesting actually.

[01:28:50]What do you think about this? What do you think about this?

[01:28:54]Can you Can you use your eyes, please, to follow the tip of the stick? The tip of the stick as it moves here.

[01:29:05]Okay, we're moving the other way.

[01:29:08]Is this clockwise or counterclockwise? I can't tell because I'm stupid. I just changed it anyway, didn't I? Changed it.

[01:29:15]Keep following it. Keep following it.

[01:29:17]Keep following.

[01:29:18]Okay. Did you notice any pain or discomfort then when you were rolling your eyes around like a lunatic?

[01:29:26]No. No pain or discomfort.

[01:29:29]Excellent. That is exactly what I wanted. Can you Can you Can you please tell me what color is that? Red. What about it?

[01:29:41]What about green? Is it? Green is it? Let us just confirm whether or not you can truly see color.

[01:29:50]Okay, let us just let us just confirm it.

[01:30:02]What color is that?

[01:30:05]Okay, good.

[01:30:10]What color is that? Okay, good.

[01:30:17]What color is that? Okay.

[01:30:24]What color is that? Okay.

[01:30:31]What color is that? Good. Good. Good.

[01:30:35]Okay. You did very well.

[01:30:39]Very willingly. Very willingly.

[01:30:43]You know what's funny?

[01:30:46]I got this to use as a medical prop in my exams.

[01:30:52]But it's just so delightful that I can't help but play with it.

[01:30:57]I can't help but play with it. It's also got these little poppy things. Little poppy things. Poppy.

[01:31:06]The sounds. Sometimes it can be unsatisfying. The pop. The pop is not quite There's not quite enough pop to the pop. You know what I'm saying? Not quite enough pop to the pop.

[01:31:22]It's also the technique with which you finger it.

[01:31:28]No, no, no. I shouldn't say that. I mean, it's the technique with which you push the poppy thing with your finger.

[01:31:35]Okay, that's what I meant. That is what I meant to say. Okay, look. Look.

[01:31:44]That's what I'm talking about. That technique, the the finger technique. I really need to think of a better way to phrase it, don't I?

[01:32:01]And I must work on my my technique. I'm not going to say it again. I'm not going to say it again.

[01:32:08]Let's move on quickly, I think. Let's move on quickly.

[01:32:15]Okay. Okay. Okay.

[01:32:19]Focus on my fingertips. Focus on my fingertips.

[01:32:39]Tell me when my fingers leave your field of vision. Focus on my nose, please.

[01:32:44]Okay. Tell me when my fingers leave your field.

[01:33:01]Okay. Very good. Very good. Now, focus on my nose. Focus on my nose. Focus on my nose. I'm going to wiggle one of my fingers. Wiggle. And you're going to tell me which one wiggles left or right.

[01:33:11]Which one left or right?

[01:33:36]I mean, that's perfect, isn't it? I don't think we need to spend too long looking at your peripheral vision because your peripheral vision, it's clearly fantastic.

[01:33:47]It's clearly absolutely wonderful.

[01:33:50]Absolutely wonderful. But you know what?

[01:33:54]I do need to look inside those ears.

[01:33:56]Actually, that is something that I have neglected so far. Your ears. Let me get my autos open.

[01:34:08]Sorry, it's going to take me a second just to assemble the otocope. It's tricky for me. It is very tricky for me to assemble the oscope because it's so small and so fiddly. So small and so fiddly.

[01:34:42]Okay. Okay, that's that's done.

[01:35:00]Okay, there it is. That is perfect, isn't it? Let me get it to the right position so that I can look inside those ears.

[01:35:09]Okay. Okay, let us see. Let us see what is it like inside those ears. What is it like inside those ears?

[01:35:20]Oh goodness me. Look at that.

[01:35:24]That is some serious ear wax build up.

[01:35:29]Serious ear wax build up.

[01:35:32]Have you been using a cotton pad inside your ear?

[01:35:36]Tell me.

[01:35:38]Tell me.

[01:35:40]Be honest with me. Have you been sticking a cotton butt inside your ear a whole time?

[01:35:47]You have, haven't you? You have, haven't you? Your ears are saying everything.

[01:35:52]Your ears are telling me everything that I need to know. You have compacted. You have compacted your ear wax. Compacted.

[01:36:02]Compactity.

[01:36:03]It is practically a brick of ear wax in here. You're basically making bricks.

[01:36:10]You're basically making cement. actually can smell inside your ears. This is very bad indeed. Actually, I'm not even joking right now. This is quite serious.

[01:36:21]It's quite serious. I am absolutely going to have to clean out your ears. I don't have the time to do it now, though. I do not have the time to do it now. So, we shall we'll arrange an appointment for you as soon as I have availability.

[01:36:39]But you know what? Before I send you off, we're basically at the end of the appointment. Okay. The cranial myth exam, it has gone very well indeed. And you have passed most things. The only thing that I'm concerned about are these ears of yours.

[01:36:54]These ears of yours.

[01:36:56]Absolutely filthy.

[01:37:00]Absolutely bloody filthy. Okay, let me just very quickly do a test, a hearing test. Okay, close your eyes for me and do not open them. Do not open them because I will see obviously I will know if you open your eyes that it's cheating and I don't like cheaters. Okay, I don't like them. So, I'm going to make a sound. It's going to be a little click sound. Okay, little click. And it's going to be either to the or to the right to the left or to the right side of your head. And you're going to tell me left or right. Okay, let's begin that now.

[01:37:43]Left or right?

[01:37:45]Good.

[01:37:49]Left or right? Good.

[01:37:54]Left or right? Good.

[01:38:00]Left or right? Good.

[01:38:04]Left or right?

[01:38:06]Good.

[01:38:10]Left or right? Good.

[01:38:15]Left or right? Good.

[01:38:20]Left or right? Good.

[01:38:25]Left or right? Good.

[01:38:30]Left or right. Good.

[01:38:35]Left right. Good.

[01:38:40]Left right. Good.

[01:38:45]Left right.

[01:38:47]Good. Okay. Okay.

[01:38:50]You know what? You know what? Despite the absolute impaction of that ear wax, despite the absolute impaction of it, your hearing ability seems to be relatively okay. And I think that means that it is okay for you to, you know, leave the office today and go about your daily life. I think you're absolutely fine in that regard. However, as I mentioned before, I shall book you in for an ear cleaning appointment.

[01:39:20]Probably it will be next week. Okay, let me look at my diary and let me get back to you. I'm very busy, you know. I'm a very busy man and despite all the the things that plague me like rain inside my office, despite these curses that have been set upon me, do I allow them to hinder me in any way?

[01:39:42]No. No. I will prevail against absolutely anything. Any obstacle that is set in my path, I shall simply set it aside. I shall absolutely smash right through any obstacle. I shall turn any obstacle into rubble into dust.

[01:40:03]Regardless of all that absolute nonsense, you've done very, very well with your Korean exempted very well indeed. You passed everything basically everything with flying colors. And once I get those ears views cleaned out next week, you will be in tippity condition.

[01:40:21]Tippity dippity condition. Okay.

[01:40:24]So, I'm going to say goodbye to you now and I'll see you next week.

[01:40:30]Goodbye. And take care.

[01:40:34]Goodbye.

[01:40:53]Let me take a look at that little thump on your head.

[01:41:05]Oh yes, I spotted this little lump the last time I saw you.

[01:41:17]It's still there.

[01:41:19]How come the little lumpy bumpy hasn't gone down yet?

[01:41:33]That must have been quite a severe little lumpy bumpy that you gave yourself.

[01:41:40]How did you do that?

[01:41:42]How did you give yourself this lumpy bumpy on your head?

[01:41:53]You silly little sausage.

[01:41:56]You silly little sausage. Getting yourself into these little accidents.

[01:42:02]Bumping your head. That's no good. You know, that's no good. A bump of the head, it can be quite serious, you know.

[01:42:09]It can actually be quite serious.

[01:42:20]Okay. You know what? Let us do a cranial nerve exam so that we can determine whether or not the lumpy bumpy on your head has done any sort of permanent brain damage.

[01:42:36]Let's hope not. Let's hope not. Let us run a few tests on second.

[01:42:46]We shall do the taste test first. Oh yes. Oh yes. Let me shake up this little bottle of artificial flavor.

[01:43:22]What I am going to do is I am going to transfer some of this artificial flavor liquid into a little dropper bottle. A little drop a bottle. Okay. And this is going to allow me to easier apply the flavor to your tongue. That's how these things work. You know, you put something on your tongue and then you you can taste them. You can taste them. And that's what this test is today. We're testing your taste. Okay. We're going to see if your taste works. Yes. Let me transfer. Let me transfer. One moment.

[01:44:08]Let me transfer. Transfer. Transfer.

[01:44:10]Transfer.

[01:44:13]Okay. Very good. Very good. Very good.

[01:44:15]Now then, let me get a little bit of the the flavor. Little bit of flavor.

[01:44:24]Okay. Here we go. Stick your tongue out for me, please.

[01:44:29]Yes. Just like that. Well done. Now, I'm going to put a little droplet of the flavor on your tongue.

[01:44:38]There we go. And can you tell me, please, what does that taste like?

[01:44:48]A blueberry muffin.

[01:44:51]A blueberry muffin. Yes, indeed. That flavor was the flavor of a blueberry muffin.

[01:44:59]Excellent job. Excellent job indeed. You appear to be doing well so far.

[01:45:11]But however, we must do that test again at least two more times. We shall do two more flavors. Okay? And this repetition, it is necessary to make certain that the accuracy of the result is indeed accurate. You know what I'm doing? You know what I'm saying?

[01:45:30]That's science, baby. That is science.

[01:45:59]Yes. Let me transfer this one as well into little dropper applicator. Little dropper applicator.

[01:46:08]Little dropper.

[01:46:10]trying to do things as nice and neatly and as professionally as neatly and professionally.

[01:46:24]Okay, there we go. We've got the second flavor. Are you ready? Stick out that for me, baby.

[01:46:32]Oh, yes. Looking good. Let me put some of this flavor on there.

[01:46:39]And now, what do you think that one tastes like?

[01:46:48]Custard donut.

[01:46:51]Custard donut. You know what? That is correct, by the way. That is correct.

[01:46:56]Well done. I had a custard donut the other day. Treated myself. I thought I would treat myself to a little custard donut. And you know what? It was absolutely rubbish. Absolutely rubbish.

[01:47:10]My disappointment was unbelievable.

[01:47:14]It was I mean, I can't even describe it.

[01:47:17]I can't even describe it. That's how bad That's how bad the disappointment was.

[01:47:21]The custard itself, it wasn't even like custard. It looked like some sort of neon yellow processed rubbish. Terrible, terrible experience, I say. Terrible experience, I say. Okay, I apologize. I apologize for coming off topic there and for rambling. Let us check the third and the final flavor. Can you identify it?

[01:48:18]Yes, I'm transferring it once again into the little rubber. The little rubber applicator. The little rubber applicator.

[01:48:28]Transfer a little bit.

[01:48:35]Okay. Okay. That's excellent. That is absolutely excellent.

[01:48:47]Here we go, my friend. The third and the final reliever. Are you ready to identify it for me?

[01:48:55]Stick out that tongue for me, baby. You know the drill. Here it comes.

[01:49:06]What does that one taste like?

[01:49:14]Banana bread. Banana bread. Yes indeed.

[01:49:19]Yes indeed. Well done. Well done. Well done. Well, it does appear that the lumpy bumpy on your head has not affected your ability to taste and that is absolutely fantastic.

[01:49:39]Coming message from the big giant head.

[01:49:44]This is a high priority message for employee ears only.

[01:49:52]The big giant head is currently under investigation from the IFBI, the Intergalactic Federal Bureau of Investigation.

[01:50:07]Apparently, we assessed the human beings on planet Earth incorrectly.

[01:50:15]According to the IFBI, the human beings on planet Earth have an intelligence level higher than we estimated.

[01:50:27]It does appear that according to intergalactic law, the human beings can in fact be classified as sentient individuals and as such they are protected by the rights of sentient creatures.

[01:50:47]What does this mean? Valued employee of the big giant head. This means that if you were allegedly harvesting human organs any time prior to this message, all activities must cease. And you must put these organs back inside the human beings immediately, ASAP, as soon as possible before the IFBI can detect such activities.

[01:51:20]Allegedly, of course. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly.

[01:51:24]Please, this is of the highest priority.

[01:51:28]All employees of the big giant head must put the organs back inside the human beings.

[01:51:36]And please be careful to put the correct organs into the correct human beings.

[01:51:41]This message will selfdestruct in three, two, one.

[01:51:55]What just happened there? What just happened there? I feel a little bit laded.

[01:52:01]I feel a little bit laded. Maybe my blood sugar is low. Is that what it is?

[01:52:06]Silly me. Silly me. Not taking care of myself well enough, am I? Oh, silly me.

[01:52:12]Okay, regardless, we just completed the taste test. Now we must do the smell test. Okay. Very similar. Yes. Very similar. You're going to sniff some smells for me and you're going to identify them. Okay.

[01:52:30]Let me get everything I need and we can begin.

[01:52:37]I've got some smellers here.

[01:52:42]They're in some bottles.

[01:52:46]Smelly bottles. Smelly bottles.

[01:52:56]Are you ready to do some sniffing?

[01:53:00]Okay, then get those nostrils ready and take a little sniffer, baby.

[01:53:14]What do you think that smells like?

[01:53:20]Dirty socks.

[01:53:22]Dirty socks.

[01:53:25]Oh my god. You're right. Hang on. Let me have a little sip of it.

[01:53:32]That is appalling. That is absolutely appalling. I can't believe that they made that a smell. I didn't make this smell. I did not make this smell. Some sort of medical agency made these smells. That is disgusting. That is foul, dirty socks. Who thought of that?

[01:53:49]Who thought of that? Foul individuals.

[01:53:52]Let's do the second one. And let's hope that this one doesn't smell so putrid.

[01:54:15]Are you ready for smell number two?

[01:54:19]Get a sniffing, baby. Get a sniffing.

[01:54:28]What does that one smell like?

[01:54:33]Freshly baked bread. Freshly baked bread.

[01:54:39]Now that is a good smell. That is a good smell. We got blessed with that one, didn't we? Oh yes, we did. Oh yes, we did. Let's move on to smell number three.

[01:55:04]Now then, this is the third and the final smell, so you'd better be ready.

[01:55:11]Have a little sneeze.

[01:55:19]What do you think that one smells like?

[01:55:23]Alcohol. Yes, indeed. Alcohol. Do you know what type though?

[01:55:30]Vod. Vodka. Well done. Well identified.

[01:55:34]That's impressive. Are you Are you uh familiar familiar with the smell of vodka?

[01:55:41]A little bit too familiar? I think perhaps a little bit too familiar. Okay, regardless of that, you've performed excellently well so far. The smell test, the taste test, aced. Now, we need to move on to examining some of your other nerves. And for this, I simply must put on some gloves because I'm going to need to touch you.

[01:56:08]Oh, yes.

[01:57:04]Oh, yes. I got my lovely little latex gloves on. These feel so nice. These feel so nice. Maybe I could just wear them all the time, 24/7.

[01:57:16]Okay, let me do a little bit of a physical examination of you. Let me do a little bit of a physical examination. A little bit of a physical examination.

[01:57:28]How does this feel here? How does that feel?

[01:57:34]Does it feel painful?

[01:57:36]Okay. What if I apply a little bit of pressure?

[01:57:41]Did that hurt?

[01:57:43]Okay. What about this?

[01:57:47]Okay. Let's do a little bit more rapid fire.

[01:57:58]Does that hurt at all? No. Good. Good.

[01:58:02]Good. Good. Good. Let me try again though. Okay.

[01:58:09]What about that? No. Okay. Good. Good.

[01:58:12]Good. Good.

[01:58:16]What about that? That doesn't hurt.

[01:58:19]Okay. That's great. That's great. That's great. That's great. I want you to make some facial expressions for me now. I want you to copy me, basically. Okay.

[01:58:28]First things first, I want you to puff at those cheeks.

[01:58:35]Oh, good. Look at those cheeks. Look at those chubby little cheeks. So adorable.

[01:58:41]Can I pinch them? Can I pinch one of your cheeks, please?

[01:58:49]So adorable. I love pinching those chubby little cheeks. What can I say?

[01:58:54]You got some fantastic looking cheeks, baby.

[01:58:59]Okay, sorry I got a bit distracted there and momentarily distracted.

[01:59:05]Let's move on. The next facial expression I want you to do a big grin, a toothy one, please let me see those nashes.

[01:59:18]Oh my, what big teeth you have. What big teeth you have. Excellent. Excellent.

[01:59:23]Excellent. Now try and make a sad face.

[01:59:27]a sad face.

[01:59:31]Okay, good. That does look pretty sad.

[01:59:34]What about those eyebrows? Can you raise your eyebrows, please? Raise them.

[01:59:41]Oh, good, good, good, good, good. Can you frown? Can you frown? Try and make yourself look as angry as possible.

[01:59:49]Oh, that's intimidating.

[01:59:51]Oh, you got a you got a hell of a frown on you. Darnest intimidating. Okay, that's good. That's good. Open your eyes as wide as possible, please. Wide. Wide.

[02:00:01]Wide. Wide. Wide. Wide.

[02:00:04]Okay, just like that. Just like that.

[02:00:06]Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Now, shut your eyes really tight. Really tight. I want to see some wrinkles around those eyes.

[02:00:20]Now, can you just wink wink one of your eyes? Wink. Wink. Wink. You know what I'm saying? Wink wink wink. What about the other eye? Wink wink wink wink wink wink. Okay, that's good. That's good.

[02:00:33]That's good. You're looking good.

[02:00:34]Actually, you're looking good. Now, I'm going to place my hand here and I'm going to push down and you're going to push your head up against my hand. You know, you're going to like a resist to me. Do it. Do it. Yes. That's it. Now, underneath, I'm pushing up against your chin. I want you to push down, please.

[02:00:53]Push down, please.

[02:00:55]Good, good, good, good, good, good. To the side. To the side. Push against my hand. To the side. Go on. Push. Push.

[02:01:00]Oh, yes. Well done. Push to the other side. Push against this hand. Push against this hand. Oh, excellent.

[02:01:08]Excellent. Well done. Well done. Well done. Looking good there. The next thing I need to do is I need to examine these eyes of yours. Okay, let's see here.

[02:01:25]You know what this is, don't you? Oh, yes. You know what this is?

[02:01:34]This is an eye chart.

[02:01:37]And this is a chopstick. A singular chopstick.

[02:01:41]Going to be using it for a pointer today. Okay. Is that okay with you? Is that okay with you?

[02:01:48]Good. Now then tell me what is this letter good good Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, Good.

[02:03:00]Good.

[02:03:03]Good.

[02:03:07]Good.

[02:03:10]Good.

[02:03:14]Good.

[02:03:18]Good.

[02:03:21]Good.

[02:03:25]Good.

[02:03:30]Good. Well done. Well done. Looks like your eyes are working at least to some degree, but I must continue to examine them. Okay. There's other tests that I need to do to check the efficacy of your eyeballs.

[02:03:49]One second.

[02:03:57]Look at that. Look at that. Look at that.

[02:04:01]Look at that. Look at that. Look at that.

[02:04:05]Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. That's a light. That's a light.

[02:04:10]Could you tell?

[02:04:12]Okay. Could you know that that's a light? That's a good start.

[02:04:17]Yes, I do need to shine this light right in your eyeballs. Okay. In fact, I think maybe a little further back might give me a better look.

[02:04:33]Okay, you can just look straight ahead if you'd like.

[02:04:37]It doesn't really matter, honestly. You look wherever you want. Okay, you look wherever you want.

[02:04:44]I'm just trying to get a good look, a good look at your eyes and at how they are reacting to the light. Okay, reacting to the light.

[02:04:57]Okay, that's that's interesting there actually. That is interesting.

[02:05:04]Okay, could you look up for me please?

[02:05:07]And keep looking up. Keep looking up.

[02:05:09]Okay, keep looking up. Keep looking up for me. Okay, keep looking up. Keep looking up. Now, can you look down for me, please? Okay, look down for me. Keep looking down. Keep looking down. Keep looking down. Keep looking down. Keep looking down. Keep looking down.

[02:05:32]Can you look to the left for me now, please? Look to the left and keep looking to the left. Okay. Look to the left. To the left. To the left.

[02:05:42]To the left. To the left. To the left.

[02:05:50]Okay. Now, can you look to the right for me, please? Look to the right. Look to the right. Look to the right. Keep looking to the right. Okay. Look to the right.

[02:06:07]Excellent. I'm making some good observations here. Now then, what I would like you to do next, I would like you to follow the light as it moves.

[02:06:16]Okay?

[02:06:26]Do your best. Okay? Keep following the light.

[02:06:32]Just do your best. Do your best to follow it. Okay?

[02:06:39]Okay.

[02:06:42]Okay. Is that hurting you at all? Did that feel difficult to do? Maybe you felt some sort of ice strain.

[02:06:53]You felt good. You felt good doing that.

[02:06:56]Okay. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent.

[02:06:58]Can you tell me though, how many fingers is that?

[02:07:08]How many fingers is that?

[02:07:12]How many fingers is that?

[02:07:17]How many fingers is that?

[02:07:23]How many fingers is that?

[02:07:28]How many fingers is that?

[02:07:31]No, that's a thumb. That's a thumb. Hard trick question. Trick question. But I got you.

[02:07:37]I got you. That was a thumb, not a finger.

[02:07:42]I got you. I'm smarter than you. I'm smarter than you. I mean, that's obvious. I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor.

[02:07:47]You're not a doctor, are you? Didn't think so. Didn't think so. I'm a doctor.

[02:07:52]You are not. I'm smarter than you. Okay.

[02:07:56]Okay. Let's move on to the next test.

[02:08:05]Now, I need you to close your eyes, please. We are going to be testing your hearing capabilities. Okay?

[02:08:15]I'm going to make a sound. It's going to be a little click. A little clicky sound. Clicky clicky sound. Okay. Clicky clicky sound. And I want you to tell me when you hear the click. Okay? It's quite simple. It's quite simple.

[02:08:33]Good.

[02:08:38]Good.

[02:08:43]Good.

[02:08:48]Good.

[02:08:53]Good.

[02:08:58]Good.

[02:09:03]Good, good, good, good, good, good. Okay. Okay, that is good. That is excellent. Let me get another object.

[02:09:35]And now I'm going to start making a sound. And I want you to tell me when the sound stops. Okay? And obviously you've got your eyes closed and you're keeping them closed right now, aren't you?

[02:09:48]Yes. Good. Good. Good. Good. You need to behave yourself. Okay. Let us begin.

[02:10:03]Yes, good. The sound stopped. Excellent.

[02:10:06]Let us do that a few more times. Okay, good.

[02:10:27]Good.

[02:10:39]Good.

[02:10:52]Good.

[02:11:06]Good.

[02:11:17]Good. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent.

[02:11:19]Excellent.

[02:11:22]Now, I need you to listen very, very closely indeed for the next hearing test. I'm going to be making a number of sounds and I need you to count the number of sounds and tell me the total number that you hear. Okay, let's give it a go first. See if you do it. Okay.

[02:11:49]Yes. Four. That was four. Excellent.

[02:11:52]Okay. So, you understand? Let's do it a bit more rapid fire now. Okay.

[02:12:05]Five. Good. Good. Good. Good.

[02:12:17]Eight. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

[02:12:19]Good. Good.

[02:12:26]Three. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

[02:12:27]Good. Good.

[02:12:38]Eight. Good, good, good, good, good.

[02:12:50]Seven.

[02:13:00]One good good five. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Excellent. Okay, you did really well there. I actually thought you might struggle with that one, but you did perfectly. You did perfectly indeed. Okay, let me have a little think. Let me have a little think. We have tested your sense of taste, your sense of smell. We've taken a look at your eyes. We've taken a look at your hearing. And we also check the nerves around your face to see if they are working too. What else is there?

[02:13:44]Ah yes. Ah yes. I want to check your sense of sensation on your face whether or not you can feel the difference between different things. You know I I shall explain now. Let me get my necessary tools.

[02:14:07]I've got two water globes here. Two water globes visually identical.

[02:14:14]However, one of these water globes is hot and the other is cold.

[02:14:22]Don't worry, not excessively hot. It's just been kept in small water for a little bit. Okay. The other's been kept in the fridge for a little bit. Okay.

[02:14:32]I'm going to place them on your face one at a time. And I want you to tell me hot or cold. How does it feel? Okay.

[02:14:41]Actually, you know what? Close your eyes as well. Keep them closed just in case you somehow cheat. Okay. I know you're a little bit of a cheater, aren't you?

[02:14:52]I can tell by looking at you. Little bit of a cheat. Okay. No cheating with me though. Understood.

[02:15:00]Understood.

[02:15:03]Good. Now then.

[02:15:07]Hot or cold?

[02:15:10]Good.

[02:15:15]Hot or cold?

[02:15:17]Good.

[02:15:22]Auto cold.

[02:15:24]Good.

[02:15:28]Auto cold.

[02:15:30]Good.

[02:15:35]Auto cold.

[02:15:37]Good.

[02:15:42]Auto cold.

[02:15:44]Good.

[02:15:50]Hot or cold?

[02:15:52]Good.

[02:15:57]Hot or cold. Good. Oh, that's excellent.

[02:16:00]That's excellent. You can open your eyes now. You can open your eyes now.

[02:16:04]It does appear that you can identify the difference between hot and cold.

[02:16:11]How wonderful is that? How wonderful is that? The sensation in your face is working well.

[02:16:17]But there's one last thing. One last thing that I want to do with you again.

[02:16:23]One second. One second.

[02:16:31]Yes. I have this soft soft little brush.

[02:16:36]Soft little brush. I'm going to brush you. Okay. I'm going to brush your face.

[02:16:43]How does that feel?

[02:16:46]Good.

[02:16:53]That's brilliant.

[02:16:59]You have completed the cranial nerve exam successfully.

[02:17:06]Successfully. Okay.

[02:17:09]So, there's no need to be concerned about that little lumpy bumpy on your head.

[02:17:15]No need to be concerned about the little lumpy bumpy on your head.

[02:17:20]In fact, there's no need to be concerned about anything.

[02:17:24]Nothing to be concerned about at all.

[02:17:28]Everything is okay.

[02:17:32]Everything is okay.

[02:17:35]It is okay to relax now.

[02:17:39]All responsibilities have been dealt with.

[02:17:44]Everything is in order.

[02:17:47]Just relax for a little bit.

[02:17:51]You've earned it.

[02:17:54]You've done very well.

[02:17:58]Very well indeed.

[02:18:32]Hello there.

[02:18:34]How are you doing today?

[02:18:38]Are you ready for your great little nerve exam?

[02:18:43]You look ready. You look nice and comfortable then. That's excellent. The first thing that I need to do as part of today's cranial nerve exam is I need to put some electrode pads on your scalp and on your head, various different locations.

[02:19:04]And these are going to be connected to my computer. We're going to be monitoring your brain activity.

[02:19:15]Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. Although, I have to admit, now that I look at you, I'm thinking there might not be a lot of brain activity.

[02:19:28]But that's okay. Don't worry about that.

[02:19:32]Stay still for me whilst I get these electrodes attached.

[02:19:59]Let me just see where is a good place for the first electric road.

[02:20:07]Maybe here. I think maybe here.

[02:20:11]There we go. That's looking good there.

[02:20:14]Let's get electric number two on the go.

[02:20:36]Now liquor road number two. Where are you going to go?

[02:20:43]liquid road number two. I think here on the side over here.

[02:20:48]Yes. Look at that. Look at that.

[02:20:51]Fantastic application so far. Let me just put two more electrodes on you. Okay. Just two more.

[02:21:22]This electric road.

[02:21:27]This is a liquid road. Where should I put it? Where should I put this electric road?

[02:21:33]I think here. I think right right there.

[02:21:38]That is optimal optimal placement for electrode number three. But now we must do the fourth and the final electrode.

[02:21:47]Okay. The fourth and the final electrode.

[02:22:10]Okay, I think this the placement of this electrode is absolutely obvious. It is obvious and it is clear that it must go here. Obvious and clear that it must go here.

[02:22:23]But let me double check. Is that placement good enough? One second.

[02:22:35]I'm going to use this handy dandy little magnifying glass in order to check if I put the electrodes in the correct positions.

[02:22:49]There's a lot to consider. There is a lot to consider when considering the electrode placement.

[02:23:02]Obviously they need to be in a position where they will pick up any brain waves and activity going on.

[02:23:14]But there is also the matter of practicality. The matter of practicality. Practicality.

[02:23:24]For example, I must conduct some tests on you today as part of the cranial nerve exam.

[02:23:33]And we can't have these pesky little less getting in the way now, can we?

[02:23:38]Pesky little roots.

[02:23:42]And of course, I should also consider your level of comfort.

[02:23:50]Are you comfortable?

[02:23:52]Are you comfortable right now? Are you comfortable right now? Are you comfortable?

[02:23:57]I think you look comfortable.

[02:24:01]I think so. I think these electrodes are actually perfectly perfectly positioned.

[02:24:07]Perfectly positioned.

[02:24:10]The next thing that I need to do, I need to set them up on my computer. Okay, you do need to just give me one minute to to set this up. Okay, stay there. Stay still. Stay comfortable. Stay chill. You know what I'm saying? Baby, take it easy. Let me just set up these electrodes.

[02:25:52]Well, I think I have correctly set up the electrodes, but looking at the computer, there doesn't seem to be any brain activity whatsoever.

[02:26:05]Oh, wait a second.

[02:26:08]Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. I did just see a tiny blip, a tiny tiny blip of brain activity, which means that the electrodes are working and they are correctly set up. That's fantastic. That's absolutely fantastic. So, we can set out the cranial exam. Let me get some gloves on first though. I need to keep everything nice and hygienic. Of course.

[02:26:36]Of course. Of course.

[02:27:44]Excellent. Look at that. We're ready to begin the cranial nerve exam. And you know what part one of the cranial nerve exam is?

[02:27:55]It is the taste test.

[02:28:00]Yes indeed. Yes indeed. The taste test.

[02:28:07]Okay. I need to shake up a little liquid solution that tastes like something. And after I apply it to your tongue, you're going to tell me what it tastes like.

[02:28:19]Okay. Give me one second to prepare flavor number one.

[02:28:48]Now I do need to transfer this into a dropper bottle for perfect application.

[02:28:57]Everything needs to be controlled and precise and measured highly technical. It's highly technical. You wouldn't understand. You're not a doctor like me, are you? No. No. No. No. No.

[02:29:10]No. No way. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

[02:29:30]Right. Right. Right. Right. Are you ready? Stick that tongue out for me, baby. You know how I like it. Oh yeah.

[02:29:39]Here it comes. Flavor number one. Flavor number one.

[02:29:45]Okay, that's enough. Have a little think. What does that taste like?

[02:29:55]Cucumber. You think it tastes like cucumber? Let me double check.

[02:30:01]Correct. Correct. It does taste like cucumber. How did you guess that so well? Cucumber. It's almost tasteless.

[02:30:10]Well, I think so. Anyway, I think so.

[02:30:13]Bit boring, isn't it? Cucumber. A little bit boring. Okay, let us move on to flavor number two.

[02:30:55]Slimy, slimy, slimy.

[02:31:01]Are you ready? Are you ready to guess flavor number two? Here it comes once again.

[02:31:10]There we go.

[02:31:14]What do you think flavor number two tastes like?

[02:31:21]Mango. Yes, indeed. Mango. I had a mango yesterday. Oh my goodness me. How flipping delicious?

[02:31:33]How flipping delicious are mangoes?

[02:31:37]Absolutely top tier fruit. Got to be in the top five. I would suggest top five fruits. Mango.

[02:31:46]Let's move on, shall we? To flavor number three.

[02:32:25]Excellent. Absolutely. Excellent.

[02:32:29]Oh, yes. Yes.

[02:32:32]There we go. Are you ready? Are you ready? Get that tongue out once again, baby. Here it comes.

[02:32:42]That is flavor number three. What does that one taste like?

[02:32:51]Coconut.

[02:32:53]Coconut. Tastes like coconut. Coconut.

[02:32:57]Coconut. Coconut. You are so flipping correct once again. Coconut. Coconut.

[02:33:03]Coconut.

[02:33:05]Excellent job. Looks like your sense of taste is working. A okay.

[02:33:12]But what about your sense of smell?

[02:33:17]That's right. That is the next part of the cranial reef exam today. The smell test.

[02:33:26]The smell test.

[02:33:30]Give me one second to prepare everything.

[02:33:56]Are you ready to take a little sniff of this flavor for me? Or rather scent, not flavor. Sleepy. It's a scent, isn't it?

[02:34:08]Get those nostrils sniffing, baby.

[02:34:18]What do you think that smells like?

[02:34:22]Lavender. You think it smells like lavender?

[02:34:28]Correct. Correct. Correctly identified.

[02:34:31]Excellent job. Let us move on to smell number two.

[02:34:53]Are you ready? Are you ready? Get sniffing, baby. Get sniffing.

[02:35:08]What does that one smell like?

[02:35:13]Strawberry.

[02:35:15]Smells like strawberry. Oh, yes indeed.

[02:35:18]Oh, yes indeed. What a fantastic scent.

[02:35:22]What a fantastic scent.

[02:35:26]Let's move on to the third and the final smell.

[02:35:45]You're ready. You're ready. You know the drill, man. Now get to sniffing.

[02:36:00]What does that one smell like?

[02:36:04]Freshly baked bread. Oh yes, indeed.

[02:36:08]Bread straight out of the oven, baby.

[02:36:11]Straight out of the oven. That smell, it is divine. Absolutely divine.

[02:36:20]Did I get something on your face? Did I make a mess on your face?

[02:36:26]Goodness me. Goodness me. I apologize. I apologize. Let me wipe your face clean.

[02:36:38]Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.

[02:36:44]Is that going to help?

[02:36:48]Sorry. I'm just trying to breathe on your eyeballs so that I might wipe them cleaner. You know what I'm saying? I think it helps. I think it helps.

[02:37:00]Still a little bit of a mark there, isn't there? Still a little bit of a mark. I made a right mess on you, didn't I?

[02:37:08]Sorry about that. Sorry about that.

[02:37:11]Can't be helped sometimes. Sometimes it just happens.

[02:37:16]Okay, enough of that. Let's move on with the cranial diff exam.

[02:37:23]Let me look inside those ears of yours next.

[02:37:34]Two seconds. I'm sorry.

[02:37:41]This thing is so bloody fiddly.

[02:37:53]There we go. That's part one.

[02:38:04]There we go. There we go. Sorry, these autoscopes, they're so difficult to assemble. Sometimes my hands are so large and these otoscopes are so small.

[02:38:17]Troubles with being an absolute gigantic beast like myself. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Okay.

[02:38:25]I'm just looking inside your ear right now. And I've got to say that is quite a bit of ear wax you got in there.

[02:38:33]What are you doing? Are you trying to start an ear wax collection or something? and trying to sort out your own personal earwax collection or something.

[02:38:43]Basically, I would advise against that.

[02:38:46]What the heck is the point in an earwax collection anyway? What is even the flipping point?

[02:38:54]You've got a lot of earwax in this one as well. You've got a lot of earwax in this one as well.

[02:39:03]Well, I've got to say, other than the excessive amount of ear wax that you've got, for some reason, it looks okay.

[02:39:11]Everything looks a-okay and healthy. But I mean, we cannot go on looks alone, can we? No, we can't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We must do some hearing tests to make absolutely certain.

[02:39:29]Close your eyes now. And don't cheat because I will be able to tell if you cheat. Okay, close your eyes and tell me when this sound stops.

[02:39:57]Good.

[02:40:15]Good.

[02:40:32]Good.

[02:40:41]Good.

[02:40:52]Good.

[02:40:55]Next, I'm going to make a number of sounds with some scissors, and I want you to count the total number of sounds that you hear and tell me how many you hear. Okay? Does that make sense? Does that make sense? Okay, let's try it now.

[02:41:19]How many was that?

[02:41:22]Good.

[02:41:32]How many was that?

[02:41:35]Good.

[02:41:43]How many was that?

[02:41:46]Good.

[02:41:57]How many was that?

[02:41:59]Good.

[02:42:08]How many was that?

[02:42:10]Good.

[02:42:12]Same test but using a different object.

[02:42:16]Now I want you to count the total number of clicks that you hear. Okay, good.

[02:42:41]Good.

[02:42:51]Good.

[02:43:01]Good.

[02:43:16]Good.

[02:43:27]Good.

[02:43:30]Next, I want you to tell me when each of these sounds stops. Okay.

[02:43:43]Good.

[02:43:51]Good.

[02:43:59]Good.

[02:44:07]Good.

[02:44:15]Good.

[02:44:22]Good.

[02:44:29]Good.

[02:44:36]Good.

[02:44:44]Good.

[02:44:45]Same test but with a different object producing a very different sound. Please tell me when the sound stops.

[02:45:04]Good.

[02:45:15]Good.

[02:45:27]Good.

[02:45:37]Good. Now, I'm going to be making a slightly different sound with the same objects. And I want you to tell me this time when you hear a sound being produced. Okay.

[02:45:54]Good.

[02:45:58]Good.

[02:46:02]Good.

[02:46:06]Good.

[02:46:10]Good.

[02:46:14]Good, good, good.

[02:46:25]Now for the final part of the hearing test segment of today's green little nerve exam, I am going to whisper some words very very quietly into your ear and you're going to repeat back to me the word that you hear. Okay, good. Let us begin that now.

[02:46:53]Sausage.

[02:46:55]What did I say just then?

[02:46:58]What did I say just then?

[02:47:02]Sausage. That is correct. I said sausage.

[02:47:07]Next word.

[02:47:12]Hunulus.

[02:47:14]What did I say just then?

[02:47:17]What word did I just say?

[02:47:21]Amunulus. Homunculus. Yes, I did. I said homunculus.

[02:47:26]Next word.

[02:47:31]Bird.

[02:47:32]What did I say just then?

[02:47:35]What did I say just then?

[02:47:38]Bird. That is correct. Bird. Bird is the word. Bird is the word. Okay. Next word.

[02:47:46]Next word.

[02:47:51]Zen no more.

[02:47:53]What did I say just then? What did I say just then?

[02:47:59]See no move. Yes, indeed. See no move.

[02:48:03]Let's do another word.

[02:48:08]Sarcophagus.

[02:48:11]What did I say just then?

[02:48:13]What did I say just then?

[02:48:16]Sarcophagus. Yes, indeed. Sarcophagus.

[02:48:20]Sarcophagus. Sarcophagus.

[02:48:23]Let's do one final word. Okay, let us do one final word.

[02:48:31]Alien.

[02:48:33]What did I say just then?

[02:48:36]What did I say just then?

[02:48:40]Alien. Yes, indeed I said alien, didn't I? Alien.

[02:48:46]Goodness me. your hearing capabilities.

[02:48:49]They're impressive. They're impeccable.

[02:48:52]They're amazing. That's what I'm saying.

[02:48:55]That's what I'm saying. So, so far today, we have established that you can taste, smell, and hear. So, we're doing very well indeed. I think it might be time though for me to check your eyeballs.

[02:49:15]Can you see this? Can you see this? It's an I chart. If you can't see the chart at all, then we're off to a bad start.

[02:49:21]Indeed. I'm going to point to a letter.

[02:49:24]You're going to tell me what the letter is. Okay. Okay. Good.

[02:50:29]Great job. Great job. That's 2020 vision.

[02:50:34]What was that? That took a long time.

[02:50:37]What? You got somewhere to be, have you?

[02:50:38]You've got somewhere to be. Oh, I didn't realize you're so important. You're so important. Your life is so busy. Oh, my apologies. My apologies. I'm just a doctor. I'm just a doctor. So, obviously, my time isn't important. I haven't got a lot of stuff that I need to do. No, no, no, no, no. Your time is so much more important. So much more precious than mine. I'm sorry. I should have known. I should be going much faster, shouldn't I?

[02:51:04]Come on now. Get real. Get real. Relax.

[02:51:09]Take it easy. Go a bit slowly. Enjoy life whilst you can. You know what I'm saying? Take it easy, man. Stop and smell the roses, baby. The roses.

[02:51:22]Let's move on to the next part of the cranial nerve exam.

[02:51:28]Eyes open.

[02:51:30]Stay tally ahead. Stay tally ahead.

[02:51:35]Directly ahead. Ticket ahead.

[02:51:39]Don't blink. For goodness sake, I'm checking your eyes. Well, how am I supposed to look at your eyes if you're blinking all the time? If you're blink blink blinking all the time. Blink blink blinking. Like an absolute lunatic.

[02:51:54]But you can't keep your eyes open for a very short period of time. Is it?

[02:51:59]Blink now. You can blink now. Have a little reset.

[02:52:04]Blink. And now we're doing it again.

[02:52:06]Okay. So, keep your eyes open. Keep your eyes open. Open. Open.

[02:52:14]Open. Open. Open. Whilst I observe them.

[02:52:18]Okay. I'm observing them. observing your pupil, your title, your response, the whites of your eyes as well. Of course, I'm even taking a little look at your irises whilst I'm here. Taking a little look at your irises.

[02:52:38]Very good, actually. Very good indeed.

[02:52:41]Very good indeed. Very good indeed.

[02:52:44]Healthy little eyeballs there.

[02:52:48]very healthy.

[02:52:52]Now then, there really is only one thing that I want to do with you left now.

[02:52:57]Okay? I need to check that your facial nerves are working correctly. And in order to do this, I'm going to poke poke poke poke your face just a little bit to begin with.

[02:53:11]And then I'm going to ask you to make a series of facial expressions. Okay?

[02:53:17]Facial expressions for me. It might seem like I'm being silly when I ask you to make some of these expressions, but they are entirely essential. Okay? Entirely essential. So please do put a little bit of effort in and take it seriously.

[02:53:35]Okay? Okay. So, first expression, I need you to puff out your cheeks.

[02:53:45]Yes, just like that.

[02:53:48]What do you mean? What? That's not an expression. Why you never express yourself like this, is it? Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.

[02:53:56]Okay, stop it. Stop it. Stop derailing me. Next expression. A big smile.

[02:54:04]First, keep your mouth closed. Okay, very good. And now show me those teeth.

[02:54:13]Absolutely. Give me that most insane smile possible.

[02:54:18]Good. Good.

[02:54:21]What do you mean my teeth are yellow?

[02:54:22]What do you mean my teeth are yellow?

[02:54:25]I'm sorry. I'm the doctor here and I'm examining you. Okay. It's not the other way around. Okay. Next expression.

[02:54:31]Frown.

[02:54:34]frown as hard as you can. Show me the anger.

[02:54:40]Okay, good. Good. Now, be surprised.

[02:54:44]Raise those eyebrows.

[02:54:48]That's a surprise. That's a surprise.

[02:54:50]Okay, good, good, good, good. You know what? You know what? I'm happy. I think I'm happy with your facial nerves and your facial muscles. Everything appears to be working in tiptop condition.

[02:55:05]Tiptop condition. Now your performance today during the crane ner exam, it has been phenomenal. Absolutely phenomenal.

[02:55:17]Okay. I think that you have passed with flying colors. But obviously what I'm going to do is I'm going to go away and I'm going to closely examine your brain activity that was being recorded throughout today's criminal nerf exam with the electrodes that I placed on you at the start. Yes. Yes, you remember.

[02:55:39]Yes, indeed. Now, I was checking the computer screen throughout today's cranial ner because I'm just casually glancing and I must say I didn't see a great deal of brain activity. Not a great deal. So, I'm not expecting to see any errors or anything concerning when I examine it later. But, you know, if I do, I will be in contact with you. Okay?

[02:56:03]But, as far as I'm concerned, you're in tippop condition and tippop health. So you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about. You can go to sleep tonight. Rest assured that everything is a okay.

[02:56:23]Everything is okay.

[02:56:25]So I'll say goodbye to you now and I'll probably see you again in the future for something else, won't I? Yes, indeed.

[02:56:34]Yes, I will. I hope you had a good time today.

[02:56:39]and I'll see you again.

[02:56:41]Goodbye.

[02:56:44]Goodbye.