THE SIDE OF THE NARCISSIST YOU NEVER SAW

[00:00:00]The side of the narcissist you never saw.

[00:00:05]Think about that for a minute. So, as you're learning, you are healing and as you're healing, you are getting stronger.

[00:00:12]The stronger you get, the weaker the pull from the narcissist to you will become. Eventually, you will go no contact. Eventually, you will block said person.

[00:00:21]You will delete them. You will remove them and all flying monkeys and people associated with them. If you've done that, you know it served you extremely well. If you haven't, you need to ask yourself, what are you waiting for? Now again, I understand that perhaps you're not ready to do that right now and if you're not, continue watch the video, get your cup full, continue to get strong and understand that the person you're considering, they don't love you. The person you're considering, they don't care about you. What they want is they want access to you. They want to learn all about you. Your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations, how much money you earn, where you're going, where you're coming from, why you did this, why you didn't do that. What they want to do is essentially become in your life one big ball of confusion.

[00:01:05]It doesn't stop at confusion though.

[00:01:07]Let's add in manipulation. Let's add in blame shifting, triangulation, ghosting, the silent treatment, gaslighting.

[00:01:14]Should I go on?

[00:01:16]You see, this person you're thinking about, they knew exactly what they were doing and they fine-tuned their skill set of abuse and manipulation and to lure you and other people into that web, that narcissistic fog, if you will. They had done that for years, so they just did the exact same thing with you because they had gotten so good at it.

[00:01:36]And this is why you need to take the narcissist extremely seriously because the narcissist blends into the fabric of society. The narcissist is still marrying people, they're still having kids, they're still dating. The narcissist is still crawling and I do mean crawling all over social media, mainly dating apps. The narcissist is in your building, they're at your work, they're in traffic, they're at the coffee shop, and I won't go on and on and on.

[00:02:03]When you realize that the narcissist has so many different sides to them because they wear multiple masks, and those masks are only for those who are they're performing for at any one moment in time. When you realize that, then you say, "Wait a minute, I wasn't special to them. Wait a minute, they didn't love me. Wait a minute, that pet name they gave me, they call everybody that same pet name," which I will talk about in this video, and I've never talked about that before. I will share it in the video, so stick with the video.

[00:02:33]You realize again that you were just a cog in the wheel of abuse. You were just a cog in the wheel of manipulation. You were a cog in the narcissist's life, and they want that wheel of their own life to go around and around and around, and in that wheel of the narcissist's life, they just insert people just the same way you change your shoes. They don't care about you and your beautiful bright shining light, they want to extinguish it. They don't care about your empathy, they're jealous of it. They don't care about your money, they think it's their money. Remember, side note, pro tip, what does the narcissist love more than money?

[00:03:07]You nailed it. They love your money, and when the money runs out, usually the narcissist is right after the money because they've taken it from you, they've hidden it, they've abused it.

[00:03:17]They have did what done whatever they could to it. So, it's all about with the narcissist, it's all about access, it's about energy, it's about mindset, it's about control and manipulation.

[00:03:29]Now, that's why you have to you have to cut these ties. Now, what are the four ties that must be cut? You should know them by now. They are the emotional Oh my gosh, you're not going to believe this, there is a turtle walking right in front of me. This has never happened. I'm going to turn the camera right now. There is a gorgeous box turtle right here saying hello to me. I'm sorry for doing this, but if you get a chance, take a look at this turtle. Absolutely magnificent.

[00:03:57]Hi, little tortuga. Hi.

[00:04:00]Hi.

[00:04:01]Can you see him? I hope you can. Hi.

[00:04:05]Hi, little guy.

[00:04:07]Hi.

[00:04:09]Hi.

[00:04:11]We picked the right spot today, didn't we? Yes, we did.

[00:04:15]All right, you're beautiful.

[00:04:18]So, that's abundance, and I just wanted to share that with you. I have to tell you, in all my years creating videos, going This is my sixth year, I have never had the privilege, the honor, and the luxury of seeing a turtle, tortuga, and I just did, and now he's walking away at light speed. Oh my gosh, I am so excited. So, I apologize [laughter] about that, but that's why I create my videos in the outdoors, because the abundance is everywhere. So, getting back, as the thumbnail mentioned, what you will never What you never saw with the narcissist, you never saw things like these.

[00:04:50]When you would come home, were they there to give you a big hug? No, they weren't. Were they there to ask you how your day was? No, they weren't. Were they there to help you when you were sick or ill, or you weren't feeling the best, or maybe you had a health challenge? No, no, and no.

[00:05:07]Were they there when you needed a lift from the airport, or when you needed a ride to go to the doctor, or to go to the store or something? Absolutely not.

[00:05:16]Were they there when you were having to deal with the grief of a loss of a loved one? No, they weren't. Were they there when you thought they would be there?

[00:05:25]Absolutely not. You see, the narcissist was showing you exactly who they are, over and over and over again.

[00:05:32]You didn't know what they were doing, because you were not educated on this, and most likely, you were either in love with them, or you loved them, or you cared about them deeply, and they knew that, and they weaponized that against you.

[00:05:44]The narcissist will weaponize anything they can against anybody, including love, time, money, energy, everything I've talked about. But what they won't do is once they have a built-in supply source, just like you were and I was, what they won't do is they will never, and I mean never, lay off the gas pedal of abuse. This is the meat and potatoes of the video. This is the main part, and you need to watch it. Although that turtle and he's walking she is walking so fast, it's amazing.

[00:06:11]Uh they won't ever uh lay off the gas pedal of abuse. And the reason they won't lay off the gas pedal of abuse is because the narcissist was competing with you every single minute you were with them. They were competing with you when you were raising the kids or step kids. They were competing with you on how much money you earned. They were competing on how well you looked, how well you dressed, what car you drove.

[00:06:33]They were competing uh with you with if you woke up at a certain time. Think about that when you would wake up in the morning. Would the narcissist already be awaken up and gone? Yeah, most likely they'd be long gone. Why? Cuz it was a competition. Oh, you slept in till 5:45 a.m. I've been up since 3:30 doing push-ups, sit-ups, and saving everything, and you haven't done a thing. You haven't lifted a finger.

[00:06:54]That's the kind of rhetoric you will get from the narcissist. The truth of the narcissist is all they want to do is have people doubt themselves and blame themselves because the narcissist is a coward. They're a bully. They're shallow. They're hollow. There's no core to them. There's no substance to them.

[00:07:10]What you have is a huge void within the narcissist, and they have to fill that up with a with with what is known as supply. You were supply to the narcissist, and the narcissist fed off of you. Very disgusting, but it's true because the narcissist is a parasite, and they're looking for a host. You are no longer a host, and unbeknownst to you way back then when you were in the relationship, you were a host. I was, too. But you didn't know back then what you know now. Once you see it, you can't unsee it, and once you experience it, you do not want to experience it ever again. And that's why once you hear it, you can't unhear it. Other things that you never saw from the narcissist, think about this one. How about just one time?

[00:07:50]Just once. Putting one of their three smartphones down and actually saying, "Hey, you know what? I want to make today about you. I wanted to sit down and talk about you. Or I want to learn what you're doing. Or I want to figure things out with the two of us."

[00:08:03]No, no, and no. What you get with a narcissist is you get short spurts of a person, which was you, and it definitely was me. You get short spurts of that person have to report back to the narcissist. And once the narcissist is caught up to date with the reporting, then they want nothing to do with said person. Then they'll just give them the silent treatment or the cold shoulder or whatever, claim they have to go visit their sister who lives 15 hours away, even though they haven't talked to their sister in 10 years. They'll do whatever they need to do because all they want is to get the bare bones of updates with people. Once they get it, then they know what the next objective will be. And that's all they want. They want people to report back to them. That's why I've shared with you for years in videos, the narcissist has uh they give people endless to-do lists. And once somebody completes an endless to-do list, you're given another one, and another one, and another one, and another one. And the endless to-do lists, they will never stop until you are out of this. What is this, you may ask? It's the narcissistic abuse of cycle. It's the trauma bond.

[00:09:02]It's the devaluation stage. It is talking or connecting to a narcissist.

[00:09:06]If you are even communicating with them whatsoever, and you shouldn't be. You should have gone no contact. But if you are, you're going to be stuck in this loop because they will steal your time, energy, money. They'll steal everything they can. That's why I create videos.

[00:09:17]But having said that, when you wrap your head around the fact that the narcissist was never there for you. They were there when it was important to them. They were They were there when you were doing things for them. And they would They would give you lip service, and they would tell you, "Oh, yeah, when I I'll be there when you need help. Or I'll be there. Don't I'll never forget you.

[00:09:36]You're my soulmate. You're the love of my life. You're my bestie. You're the yin to your my yang. I'll never leave you high and dry. You're my number one person. They'll say things like that.

[00:09:45]Well, maybe they would have in the love bomb. And then it all falls apart. Once something pivotal happens with the narcissist and anyone they're targeting, meaning the target falls in love with the narcissist, marries the narcissist, moves in with them, gives them money, goes in a business, whatever they do, it's too late. Now that person's committed and the narcissist now has full control. Unbeknownst to the person who just committed to the narcissist.

[00:10:10]Now there are there's so much wisdom I can unpack. I'm going to create this video another 3 minutes and cut it short. And I'm going to try and find our friend over there the turtle. And I think I can see her moving a little bit.

[00:10:20]But what I want to share with you is this.

[00:10:22]You never saw the good side of the narcissist. Now you may say, "Well, no, actually I did. I saw a little twinkle in their eye every once in a while and I saw them acting like a relatively decent human being a few times." Well, that may be true. At the end of the day the narcissist is a human being.

[00:10:38]Others may say the jury's out with that one, but it's up to you. You can make up your own decision. But yes, there are good times when you're with the narcissist. But those good times all fade away over time. They become more and more uh they become further and further apart.

[00:10:54]And they don't last.

[00:10:55]And what is a good time with the narcissist? Now, get your mind out of the gutter. I'm not talking about that.

[00:11:00]I'm talking about just peace.

[00:11:03]No triangulation. No drama. And you did get that every now and again when you're in the relationship. The only times you received that though was when the narcissist was full of supply. Whether it was from you, their job, them destroying their siblings' lives, whatever they were doing. But if things were going well when you were in the relationship with the narcissist, it's because they were topped up with supply.

[00:11:24]And most likely that supply didn't even come from you. And you may think, "No, it did come from me." Well, not so fast.

[00:11:29]Remember, you were one cog in a wheel.

[00:11:31]You thought it was all you, it wasn't you. There were dozens of other people the narcissist was talking to and you may say, "Well, no, they only talked to me." Well, that's what you think, but think about this. When you went to work and paying the bills of the house and the mortgage and raising the kids and the tuitions and all these things that narcissist was downstairs on that spaghetti stained couch with the the t-shirt from the 1980s with some old t-shirt from with neon or the neon glow, whatever it is, day glow. When they were doing that, they were still on social media. So, you may have thought, "No, they were only they weren't talking to anybody. They were only talking with you." Well, no, that's not what it was.

[00:12:08]When that front door would close and you would go to work, then what would they be doing? They'd they would pull out all the stops. They would start doing all the vices or the partaking in all the vices that they liked and you weren't supposed to know about any of that. That's a whole different video series that I can talk about and I've never touched on it yet, but I will in the future. But, you need to understand that everything isn't how it appears to be on this planet called Earth and everybody reveals themselves.

[00:12:34]I have, you have, the narcissist has.

[00:12:36]That's why you need to understand you never saw the goodness in the narcissist consistently because there is no goodness in them consistently. Once they get what they want, they're topped up with supply, they're on cloud nine, they think it's never going to get better. I mean, they think it's going to last forever and then just like a balloon, the picture a balloon, you blow up a balloon and then over time the balloon loses its air, right? Well, that's supply for the narcissist.

[00:12:59]Picture one big balloon when they're on top of the world because that let's say when you married the narcissist, if you did, well, they were on cloud nine there because now they had all the free gifts, all the attention, all the pictures, all the honeymoon, if you had a honeymoon, all those things, but as soon as the wedding goes away and the wedding bells have stopped ringing and the cake is cut and people go home, what happens? It's just the two of you and that's when the abuse really, really starts and ramps up.

[00:13:24]Just like that balloon I shared with you. The balloon loses its air over time. Every narcissistic relationship does just that, which is why they all end in uh in a place called Destructionsville.

[00:13:35]And that's a place where you want to never, and I mean never, go to again, which is why you need to go no contact and block the person. So, you never saw so many things in the narcissist. What you saw were little hopes, little glimpses of what could be, but what would never be consistently consistency consistently. And the narcissist knew that. Remember, the narcissist has a sixth sense, a predatory instinct, and they knew exactly what they were doing.

[00:14:02]They're doing it right now if they're still living, and they will continue to do it as long as people are still buying their song and dance and believing that their false rhetoric or false narrative is legitimate, and it's not.

[00:14:12]So, everyone, that's the video. I hope you liked it. I loved doing it from the beautiful Carolinas. This is Andrew.

[00:14:17]Namaste.

[00:14:18]Have a great afternoon, evening, or morning, no matter where you are on the planet. You are not alone. I love you all, and I'll talk with you tomorrow.

[00:14:25]I am still amazed at that turtle I saw.

[00:14:28]That is a prime example, and I created this turtle created this video twice, once a month and a half ago, I believe, in in 2021 called The Tortoise and the Hare.

[00:14:37]There is your tortoise. I am a tortoise, you are a tortoise.

[00:14:41]In Aesop's Fable, The Tortoise and the Hare, who wins the race?

[00:14:45]You do.

[00:14:46]I do. The narcissist is the hare. They lose every single time because speed doesn't equal empathy. Speed doesn't equal love. What speed equals in the world of the narcissist is toxicity, and the faster the narcissist can move, the easier they can trap people. So, just like that beautiful box turtle, when she was walking around, and I will find her again in a moment, she's plotting along, doing her thing, just like I am, and just like you are. Continue in the high vibrational state, and continue to focus on yourself. Remember, you are the priority. You come first, second, and third. Love you all. God bless you and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, everybody. Bye. Time to find that turtle. Bye.