Reese provides a profound look at how systemic manipulation fundamentally breaks the human psyche, proving that the hardest part of leaving a cult is reclaiming one's own mind. Her insights into the "rewiring" of emotional responses are essential for understanding the long-term cognitive damage caused by institutionalized control.
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He Was Honest With Her, But She Didn't Go There For HonestyAñadido:
Hey everybody.
I thought I set this for 4:35 and now I'm really late. I apologize. I thought I was on time. I usually don't I usually do it five after the hour and I'm sorry about that. Hey Stacy.
Uh, hey Jen Finberg. Let me go up a little bit. Oh, good. There's no one here anyway. I mean there's like 10 of you here but usually I'm usually there's a lot. Maybe I did set it for 4:35. Am I late or just no one wants to come here anymore? That could be as well. Uh, thank you, Yadira and Mods. Thank you for being here. Uh, hey Tammy. So, Tammy's here. Stacy's here. Jen's here.
Caitlyn.
Okay, now they're all rolling in. But there was really like five or six people here. I feel better about that because I didn't I'm sorry for those people. I kept waiting. But let's be honest, most of those people are my real friends and they know me. Uh, Thursday before two.
Hey babe. Guys, I'm on fire. Uh, Shark Week started like three hours ago and I'm not going to lie, I fell asleep. I was in so much pain. I had to get my blood work done today and it just hasn't been a great day. And I have deep Steve from Jify Lube Voice because I just woke up a little bit ago. Hey Angie Mo. Hey Rule, just as I am. Hey Chrissy Twig, Charcoal Ninja.
No, you're not late, but welcome Joyce Drager. Hey, Ewa. Margie Bar is here.
Bitsy made it. Donna Cooper, hey DS Kitty, can we all just hug her a little bit today? Today is her wedding anniversary, but he passed away and she posted the most beautiful pictures and I just really loved your post, Diane. It was it really got to me. So, uh, I just want to acknowledge that. tell you thank you for sharing it. It was very raw and it was very lovely. It really was. Hey Wanda, Jennifer Heather, why don't you sit up here little darling Karen Tutti Karen Tutty Greeny. Hey Bohemian Luciferian witch. I feel like I haven't seen you for a little bit. I hope your new job's going good. Hey Audra. Hey Aspire Joanne Holly. Lenora Gray Jojo made it. I feel a sneeze, but it's just like not quite there.
Uh, Kim Leaf.
Hey, Liz Tricks.
Baby Steps. Thank you, baby steps. Wow.
It's only because I just woke up. My hair looks like something out of an 80s music video. So, if you're if that's your thing, it's not my thing. I don't love it, but you do. And thank you. And Tommy does, too. Uh, allergies incoming, everybody.
Thank you, baby steps. Hey, Abdazzle.
Katherine B. Katie did it. Linda Parales, Alicia, I haven't seen you and I've been worried again. I'm happy to see you, Alicia. Maybe I have seen you and I just get clingy about you. Hey, Rachel.
Sandy.
Dang. Really, guys? Thank you. That's such a nice thing to say. Thank you, Lenora Gray. Okay, we're good there.
Hey, Stella.
Nissaul smokes.
Yeah, DSkitty, I just want you to know that. Really love you.
Really hard. It was an amazing, incredible post.
Love that upstairs, Ree. What's that mean? Do I want to know? Hey, Lumen, your new cat. We all love her so much.
Thank you, Ewa. Just so you know, oh god, I just hit my owie. God, you know when I said I slammed my thing in the I've done a good job at keeping this like the skin I pushed it back over even though I know it's going to come off.
When I got my blood work done this morning, the girl was like, "Can you confirm your date of birth?" And I was like, "784." And she goes, "Can I see your um insurance cards?" And I was like, "Yeah, because they haven't changed, but sure." So I go to get into my wallet and I'm digging how you dig for your card, how it's like in a slot.
And I was using this finger where I sliced it and uh I was like, "Why does that hurt so bad?" And I was like, "Oh my god, I hadn't put a new band-aid on."
Oh, Ewa, do I have it in my pocket? This is a new, you know, I don't like the new Sephora uh I don't like their new formulas, the lip stains, but I'm finding that I still like them more than any other expensive lip stains. I just got a House Labs one that I hate and these are super cheap and this is number 133 for anybody that wants to know. I'm testing it out. Hey Maryanne, I probably just got way behind. Hey Marie Marian, maybe not.
Maybe not. Hey Rick Ricky and Drake, I don't usually you're usually on the replay and thank you to the replay crew.
Bada bing made it.
Okay. Bohemian Luciferian witch. Well, I'm glad that you're here. Thank you.
Abdazzle, Randy Pearson, we made it.
Hey, Lelle. Welcome back. Colorado girls here.
Baby steps. I'm liking as much as you're chatting in here today. I'm liking to see you more. Uh, hey, Linda.
Jenny, she's in Greece, you guys. That is so cool. I want to go to Greece really bad, and I don't know why. I just I think I would love the Did I just flip you off?
No, I didn't mean to, Miss Sunrise. Don, I don't know why, but like Greece is calling my name, and I don't know why that is.
I have not Abdazzle, but I've heard good things. I would like to try it, I guess, is what I'm saying.
Ruby is here. Okay, I just caught up.
Happy thoughts.
Welcome in.
You changed your picture. It's very nice to see you, babe. Thank you, Sophia.
Interesting. I rule. I would not attempt that. Although, I will say this. Hey, Cynthia. Speaking. I rule says you can make heavy cream from scratch. I bet it is. Susan P. Hey, Cindy G. It's good to see you, babe. I know. Abdazzle, I want to try it. I would love to as well, Wanda. What was I just gonna say? Oh, guys. Don't Don't make the mistake I made. So, I was at Costco. I I drink a cup of coffee a day. I'm not a coffee drinker all day long. I've worked for doctors that just like they're making pots of coffee at two in the afternoon.
I don't drink more than one cup of coffee a day. It's not my thing. Unless I'm like on a vacation and somebody made a pot of coffee. I might have a couple in the morning just because I'm with people, but otherwise, no. I love that.
Jenny D. Well, I'm at Costco and that's where I buy my I use heavy whipping cream in my coffee. I don't do half and half. And the heavy whipping cream really went up in price. Okay. Like usually it's like three bucks, something like that at Costco. And a couple weeks ago when I went to get it, it was like $4.89 and I was like, whoa, that's a jump. And the the half and half was right Hey, Cindy cat lover. The uh half and half was right next to it. It was like $2.89. I don't use coffee creamer or Buffy because it's got so much sugar in it. And honestly, I don't like flavored coffee like that. It tastes syrupy to me. Hey Rhonda McNeel. And uh I was like fine, force me to. Hey slot puppy. I thought okay, I'll get the half and half. Whatever. It's not that big of a deal. I haven't bought half and half in years. Hey Puka Vista.
Yeah, I want to check out Greece. I I know I would love the food there. So, uh, don't do it. Just Just take my word.
Don't do it. It's like water. It was sweet.
I don't know. It's probably because I'm just not used to it. But it was um it didn't I don't know. So, this morning I went to Costco, what, a week ago, and I bought a new I was like, "F it. I'll pay the extra two bucks." Hey, Noel. And I got whipping cream. Jeff actually got me turned on to heavy whipping cream. I've never put that in my coffee.
And anyway, what am I trying to say? Oh, I went back to it this morning and I was like, "Yes, I like hot tea as well, Jen Finnenberg, a lot." So, it was delicious this morning. And I had I was fasting because I had to get my blood work done.
So, I was like really really waiting for that coffee when I got home.
Yeah, Buffy. And I just don't like flavored syrups in coffee. Hey, wine a little bit more. I like, don't get me wrong, if I go to like a Starbucks, I'll get um a caramel iced caramel macchiato or I'll get a hot one and that's flavored, right? It's got the caramel in it, but just true straight coffee. I don't want like vanilla flavoring in it.
I do a little bit of monk fruit sweetener. Sometimes I'll do sugar like if I'm in a hotel, but I just like cream in my coffee, but half or not half and half. Anyway, that was a useless conversation and I apologize. I've been having a lot of those lately and I am officially on my period. I'm hooked on oat milk creamer. Sweet cream. Oh, I bet that's good. Ronda McNeel, I'm sure that's not bad. Yeah, Joanne Holly. But half and half.
No, never again. It was too It was super runny. I like also the thickness. Hey, Mrs. Carson. Hey, Caroline in Canada. I love the thickness of um why can't I say it? Heavy whipping cream.
So, I have a specific thing I want to talk about today.
I know, Lenora. I I don't mind fasting.
I don't usually eat until the afternoon.
It drives my mom crazy. She's like, "Why don't you eat? I'm never hungry until at least about 2:00 between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon. That's when I eat my first food for the day. But I got to have coffee in the morning. So fasting for me this morning sucked because again, uh I couldn't have anything. I didn't even drink water. I just got up and drove to the the blood work place.
And she was like, "He also wants a urine today." And I was like, "Uh oh, I haven't I haven't had anything to drink." Uh that's crazy. Angie. Hey, Jamie Palmer. And I was a little bit embarrassed because I peed in the cup.
And you know how you pee in the cup and you write your name on it and it's completely unsanitary and you want to do like a steam shower after to get all the germs off? I don't like public bathrooms, but I especially don't like holding a cup to my vagina and having to write on the cup and touch a pen that other people were touching from their unmentionables. And then you screw the lid on and it's the whole thing. It's just like I I can't I I really hate having to do urine samples. Uh it grosses me out. So then you open the little metal door and Yeah. you write on your cup like it's Starbucks, but it isn't because there's no treat at the end. And you open the little metal door and you go to put your cup in there and usually your cup and you are alone.
There's usually no one in there with you. And I opened the metal door and there's somebody else's cup of piss in it. There was pee in a cup next to my cup. And my cup was like, I'm not going in there with him. And I was like, I don't want you to go in there with him.
And then that cup judged me.
Ree, typically when they do a fasting blood work order, you're allowed to have water. Oh, I know, Alicia. I just hadn't because it was too early this morning. I just didn't do anything. I just got I literally drove on autopilot this morning. I was driving through the country and I was like I was so tired. I just wanted to get it out of the way.
Uh, hey Nora. Happy vacation to Nora.
Hey Yuri forever. Thanks for popping in girl. Uh, yeah. So said cup there's there was a stranger in there. There was another person's urine in the little the the metal thing and it really grossed me out. But it also judged me because I sat it next to my cup. And of course, my cup of pee was like, "I don't want to be in here with him." And then this cup of pee was like, "Yeah, I don't blame you." And that cup of pee, the stranger's pee, was like water. It was so light in color.
And that made me feel judged, right?
Because my pee was super dark. And I mean dark. It, you know, I don't drink a lot of water. So, I just felt as though I needed to share that. It It made no sense. And it didn't need to go. You guys didn't need to hear it, but you there's all kinds of things I share with you that you don't need to know, but you're going to know if you're going to be here, right? Thank you, Yadira. Um, hey, uh, Robin Miners, who just Oh, Lindsay. I was like, somebody just came in that I missed. Hey, Lindsay. Uh, Drake Reese says, "Cindy G. I'm on fire when I'm on my period. I just sweat.
It's so gross. It's not even that hot in here. I don't have the air on. I have the windows open, but it is I'm hot.
I may have to put my hair up, guys. Uh, so I have something I want to talk about today, and it's fairly sad. Okay.
Hey, honey.
A little bit of an eyeopening type situation happened to me in light of all of the hate hatred and the hateful stuff that we've been talking about the last couple of days.
Katherine B has been chosen to represent her store and coffee store. She's one of the CEOs of Starbucks. What's this now?
Chosen to represent my store in our district's barista championship in a couple weeks hoping to make it at le Starbucks. I always drop Katherine Bee's name and they're like they're like tits out. Suck your stomach in. They're like we're so sorry. Please don't tell Katherine B. I'm like, "Well, I'm a close personal friend. Um, I too am kind of a big deal, so I'm gonna tell her."
And they're like, "Please don't tell her." And then they slip me a $100 gift card, and I'm like, "Okay, it's between us." Thanks, Jojo. Why does everybody like my hair today? I feel like I need to be in a paw some sugar on me.
It's pretty bad. It's pretty 80s. Uh, thank you though, Jojo. I'm just rejecting compliments left and right because of Shark Week. Jody, welcome in.
Okay, also I need to blow my nose because of the drugs. Hang on just a second.
Well, they say I'm back on the stuff again. And uh you know, whatever they say must be true. Lydia. Um hey babe.
might fall asleep, but here. Love you tons. Mom had another fall today. But okay, Lucas bought an accordion with his pocket money. I now need earplugs, but he is heaven. It's too soon to want the Zoom call. That's so cute. I can just picture that with Lucas. That's adorable. Oh my god, Lydia. I mean, I'm sorry. I know you're you're probably not enjoying it, but I think it's adorable from afar over here in the Americas. Uh, and thank you for being a member and sharing that baby stuff. Sorry, Reese, but you need to drink more, please.
Also, glad to have been here from the beginning. Me, too. I'm so glad you were here. Hey, T. I'm going to start calling you Tea, as if we're pals. I used to call her Scientology up north, but I feel like I know her now. Uh, Baby Steps, thank you, babe. I'll try. I really will. I will say this. This is my second one of these today, and this holds quite a bit of quite a bit of fluid. I also drank some chia seeds today. That's better, right? I think so.
Uh, thanks for being members, guys.
So, something depressing something depressing has come to light for me. And uh I got to walk I got to walk and talk through it. We need to talk through this. I need to get it out. I talked with Hey, Sharon. I talked with Tommy about it a little bit today. Oh, that's not tea. WHO'S TEA?
It's embarrassing, but it's also classic Ree. Tea is your Valentine, Jojo. Well, you're cheating on Yadira right before her very eyes. Unless you guys have a uh polygamous. Maybe you guys are polygamists, and that I understand. Uh, sorry about that.
Oh, chia seeds. Chia seeds, not Cheeits.
Chia seeds. Chia seeds help you poop.
And I know I knew you were going to say that, Sophia. Verbally process away. Uh, nice to meet you, Scientology up north.
And I apologize. I'm going to just keep calling you guys by your YouTube names because we don't want that to happen again. And if we could edit it out, we still wouldn't. But uh I need to blow my nose because of the drugs. The drugs they say I'm on. Chia seeds are wonderful. And I'm a texture girl and I like I like the texture of them. Uh Meredith Lynn, welcome in girl.
I meant beginning of the channel, not today's stream. Oh, again, shark week has commenced, and you're going to see a lot of this bubble-headed bleach blonde for the next few days.
So, uh, thank you for clarifying and paying to clarify, baby steps. There's not a lot that I can say. Hey, Archie's mom. Me too, Rodney McNeel.
Chia seeds have a lot of uh, good qualities. Hey, Debbie Zto. And my cholesterol is really high. They're supposed to help with that. Uh, thanks, Slot Puppy. And, uh, T is a voice down under. Okay, I know who that is. But I'm still never going to try it again. So, we'll just stick with the names because I'm embarrassed.
Not as embarrassed as like my mom putting me on the spot in public or anything going, "She can't have that because she doesn't have a gallbladder.
She'll poop her pants." It's not that bad, but uh or like at the Verizon store the other day when the guy went through my videos and saw all the Tommy and Reese porn that you could ever imagine seeing and it just straight into he saw everything.
That was also incredibly embarrassing.
This is not that embarrassing. I'm just trying to give you guys like a a comparison of what's embarrassing. And that was fairly embarrassing for those of you that didn't know that happened at the Verizon store. The guy was like, "Let's make sure that you got all of your videos back." And he pulled up my videos. Hey, Kspace.
Oh, I love that KS face. And immediately he just saw Tommy's swinging pain. And I was like, "Dude, you open up somebody's phone and go through their videos, there's a good chance you're going to see tits, peen, just a whole just a plethora of things.
Especially if if they are in a relationship or if you're someone like Jojo and Yadira, several relationships, you're probably going to see a lot of tits in their phones if I had to guess.
Taints, tits, and flaps." So, uh, and hey, I'm not judging. I'm not judging because I like to get down. They like to get down and uh they're polygamists and I don't see I don't see why that's wrong. Do I take statins? Hell no. And I'm not going to. And he would like me to be on a statin. And he said quote last time, uh, your cholesterol is high.
And I went, yeah, I've been tell someone's been telling me that for years. And he said, okay, but like if it was like a speed limit, you'd be doing 90. And I was like, well, I like to I was a Scientologist.
I'm efficient. I like to get things done quickly, sir. And he was like, I see that this isn't uh this isn't getting through. And I said, it's not. Can I get some hydrocodones, though? Because I like those things. If you're looking for a fun Friday night, pop one of those.
Pop a hydrocod.
And then just call your call your man and be like, because that's what happens. You just get your Twitter paded.
I love when you read out the YouTube names. Some of them are downright funny, aren't they? Uh, yeah. Margie Bar, you open my phone, you're going to find some things that uh that I've tried out in Ecuador.
It is interesting. Your mom will freely embarrass you, but uh doesn't like you to embarrass her.
You know, I never thought of it that way.
I never thought of that. But pretty much every time I'm out in public with my mom, I say something and she goes, "Reace."
And I go, "Diane, nice to meet you." I love the Hydra Coties. Um, I'm not going to say any more about it because Alicia is in here and I don't want to get in trouble, but I love them. And I'm not trying to promote them in any way, but I'm just saying that I've had a good time with them. Uh, take one of those and call the lifeboat.
Got it. Yeah. I don't think the lifeboat's going to answer, but he does for me. Animal mother, and that's a sweet man there. Hey, Neptunes and baby steps noted. Going to bring this up to her. Don't worry, you'll remain anonymous. However, I think it's important and worth bringing up. Thank you again for paying to say so.
Uh, well, thank you. The real Peppermint Patty. That is so cute. I love your name. I loved Peppermint Patty. Okay, sir. watch you and Tommy about Scientology. Appreciate you. Well, we're going to get into that today, so please stick around and thank you for coming over. Hey, Castrol. I hope you're doing a little better. Um, okay. So, I want to talk about something that's a little bit more not as funny as what we've been doing in the last few minutes.
Um, can I first tell you guys, so I just got a text. My sister had a uh double mastctomy last week. My sister has breast cancer and they also removed her lymph nodes because they were worried about that. And she just sent this text that said, "I got my pathology report and it sounds good. Lymph nodes were cancer-free and they got the entire cancer.
All things considered, I feel good.
Never had to take anything stronger than the Tylenol, which is best. Love you.
That is such good news. I love when we get good news like that. That gives me gooseies. That makes me think of like when DNV told us that Josh was in remission from his uh tumor in his brain. That is really wonderful news. It is. I was really I've been very worried about that that something was going to spread kind of like my dad's cancer. we haven't gotten that kind of good news.
So, that's incredible and I'm really happy to hear that. So, thank you. I'm glad we could celebrate that moment together live. I'm super super happy about that. It is weird. It just popped into my head. Baby steps. I've never looked at it that way, but that's why I love this channel. Everybody gives me a different perspective. And thank you again, Baby Steps. Thank you for this one as well. Yes, that's really amazing.
That is crazy amazing. I My sister's had a rough life, guys.
She's had a really, really rough life.
And it's weird because I was just talking about that yesterday. Thank you, baby steps. Uh, with my mom and I said, you know, it's great that she is good with God at this point in her life. She knows where she's going. And I kept worrying, thinking because she may end up going there, right? like there's a potential to get bad news here and I don't want to have to go to a funeral for my sister, right? So, yes, God is amazing and uh I love that. I absolutely love that. I feel like that's God giving her another shot. The first She's 12 years older than me. I'm going to be 42.
She was born in 1972.
How old does that make her? March of 72.
Is she 52?
Hang on. 54. Wow. Okay.
54 is really young. Hey, Chrissy Lynn Wilson.
Yes, Amanda 54 is super young to me and um this is she's entering the first part of her life where she is drug-free.
She's had a life similar to Tommy's. She uh did drugs starting at early childhood, like early teens, uh meth and then it became heroin. She did time.
She's had a very rough life, but she is a very beautiful, strong person that I believe just didn't get a chance at life. She did not get a shot at life.
And uh I read the email that she had sent to me. I haven't talked to my sister in almost 20 years. And we finally just mended fences for the first time. And uh it's incredible. Her story is incredible. And um I kept thinking, I don't want it to end here for her, right? like she just got out of the weeds. She's clean and sober, right? Like she's she's a hard worker.
She deserves a shot at having a life that's not being a slave to drugs.
And uh what day is her birthday? March 6th.
She's a Pisces.
Hey, Tyler. Thank you. Yeah, I I should read her email again because not all of you know about Sam and her email was so moving and so kind. Hey, Bridge. Hey, Colorado girl. And we just got to be sisters again, Amanda. Yes. And so, you know, with my dad's cancer and then she just got diagnosed when I was in LA is when I found out. I was in LA in February, guys. And I was I was in an Airbnb in LA when I got her text and I thought, "Oh [ __ ] I don't want to lose her." Like, we just started speaking again and she's so young. I just It scares me. It really freaks me out. That's crazy. Margie Bar, I love that.
So, it's been, you know, a little bit I've been a little uh We don't have the same mom. We We have the same dad. She's a halfsister. My other sister is a full sister. Same parents. Thank you, Christy Lynn Wilson. Yes.
Uh, no. Sunrise Cupcake. I haven't. So, um, but I do get a yearly mammogram and I was going to let my doctor know that when I go to my appointment today. I just got blood work done for my next appointment, which is coming up in the next week. Hey, Natalie. So, I've been on edge about this between her cancer and then my stepdad's cancer. And his is not his is not good news, right? It's not a good outcome. Thank you, Neptune.
So, uh, that's great. She had her surgery about a week ago, and that's just really exciting. I'm really, really happy about that. That's one thing I can check off my list of worries and anxieties.
They always take the notes to check for spread. I'm so happy for Sam and you. It is such good news. Thank you, baby steps. It really is. It's incredible.
Hey, looped tape. It's it's uh Thank you, Peppermint Patty. It's incredible.
I'm really really happy. I'm happy to that happened live. And I know it's okay, by the way, if anyone's like, is she okay with you sharing this? She has asked me to share these things as I get them so that you guys can pray because she's she is a true believer and found God. I don't know when, but like I did, we hadn't always believed in God and she's very at peace with her beliefs in God. And so she asked me um Paulie the Pam, she asked me to have you guys pray for her regularly if you do, if you're willing. So I just want you to know I'm really weird about consent. Uh Sam does watch Amanda. Yeah, she's come in and said hello. I'd love to have her on the channel sometime. Uh I'm very weird about consent. You know, a lot of people in this very stream I know deep deep deep deep things about dark deep things that others haven't shared. Hey, Sherry Hicks, not because I asked, but because they just wanted to tell me. Um, I would never share people's information. I would never ever ever do that. And so, I would do the same with my sister's obviously health, right? I I wouldn't share things about people and their health, their stories without them saying, "Please share." So, I want you to know that just because um you're so pretty, Reese's been in the bushes, but thank you so much. Wow. And thank you for coming out and saying hello. Hey, Tennessee girl. Liz Trixs and Baby Steps, thank you for all the super chats in celebration of your sister and her amazing news. Praise God. Thank you, Liz Tricks. Hey, Eric. Thank you guys.
That's huge. It's It's I feel much better about that. I feel much better about that. That's one thing that I don't have to have eating at me in the middle of the night anymore.
Thank you. Thank you, Liz Tricks and Joanne Holly. The good Lord reached out his healing hands to wrap around Sam for all the hard work she did.
He has several cancers. Ewa to become the best person she could and he rewarded her by taking that cancer. How great is that?
Thank you, Joanne. You always know how to You, Liz, and Baby Steps all have the right things to say. I love you and thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you for the super chat. Um, that's not being weird. You're very mindful, cautious, thoughtful about consent. I'm very serious about consent, guys. Uh, I have to blow my nose again because I'm tearing up and it's I'm having allergies, but it's making it much much worse. And I want to talk about something that's heavy on my mind. So, I want to go there. We're 30 minutes in.
We're good. But there's some things I want to discuss with you. Hold on just a second.
I haven't seen you in a while. I love the pictures that you posted, you and your husband. Sierra Terry, I had no idea how talented you were. Uh Caroline in Canada, I'm wearing the new Sephora stain number 133. I don't love the new formulas, but that's what I'm wearing.
Uh, Sierra Terry, I love you and it's really good to see you and I was weird that you're here because I was thinking about you and I was like, I just really enjoyed meeting I got to meet her in LA when I went and it was just very special and I wish I could have spent more time with you and so Caljoy and Alicia um, but I didn't get to as much but I just really enjoyed the time we had. So, thank you Sierra Terry for the nice that's a huge super chat and I appreciate it. Hey, Erica.
Yeah, looped tape. I take that stuff very seriously.
So, I don't even know where to begin with this, but we know how I get when I am trying to get a concept out. I have something in my head. Hey, Cara. That I want to discuss. Thank you again, Sierra Terry.
I have something that is important to me that I want to talk about. Um, I love that, Tracy Pratt. That's amazing. Just beat it. I love that. Hey, Crafty Carrie. If I ignore comments for a little bit, it's because when I get into something I'm trying to explain and stay on track and be serious, it's hard for me to like read something and then I get off track. I'm going to try to continue to multitask like I always do, but when I get into something a little more that I'm that's weighing on me, I'll I will ignore the chat for a little bit because I can't do both sometimes.
So, this all started um as a matter of fact, yesterday it started on my own. my my mind started to go there and I brought it up here. I kind of touched on it. Thank you, Cara. Yeah, please hit subscribe while you're in here. Please, please do that. YouTube will unsubscribe you. So, please hit subscribe, hit the like button. I appreciate that very much. It helps.
Um, if you recall anybody that was in here yesterday, uh, I was saying something about it. It dawned on me yesterday that and then it I went more into it and the I don't know I have a hard time. I get tongue tied because it's Scientology stuff and when it's Scientology stuff, it's hard for me to get concepts out because it's Scientology stuff. And I told Tommy this today because Tommy has always said to me, "You're bilingual."
"Hey, Lacy Silver, I'm bilingual." And I was like, "Yeah, sure." And he said that, if you guys remember, he said it years ago. And it's it's become more clear to me that he's correct because like Dylan has said when we're in here, there you if you if you put me with other Scientologists, I am naturally going to start speaking Scientology the language. And it is a very different language. It really is. Some words are English, some words are gobbledygook, and you guys are like, "That's not a word." Thank you, Paulie.
So, uh, Scientology has their own, um, Yeah, Sierra Terry, thank you, babe. And I love you, too. I really mean that.
Um, Scientology really does have their own not only words, but more more more than words, they have their own concepts. Does that make sense? Hey, Susan Trey. So they they this is where I get kind of tongue tied because I have a hard time like how do I say this in English. They have their own nomenclature verbiage right. So hey P Taylor yes he used that language to isolate people which I see that now Sophia but I didn't know that when I was a Scientologist. And the point is I was in Scientology for 38 years. And whoever is sitting here going, "Yeah, but you weren't hardly in." Or, "Yeah, but you this." Yeah, but you that. There really isn't a yeah, but when you're born into Scientology, oh, it's okay, slot puppy, you can call me that still. A lot of people my whole life have always called me Reese's Pieces. Always. A lot of people.
Um, you can call me whatever you want, slot puppy.
When you're in Scientology for that long and you're born into it, I don't care if you were in the sea or I don't care if you were staff because hey Crid, none of that really matters.
It doesn't. It's we all get the same training. Do you understand? So like it's all the same basics and and some people are going to do it at a faster speed if they're in the sea or of course. Some people are going to be more isolated if they're in the sea or some people are going to dedicate more time if they're on staff. But either way, we're all kind of working toward the same thing, which is the same studies of Elron Hubard. So, I don't really care what people say anymore about like, you know, I know there was a time that Aaron was like, "She wasn't even hardly in, she didn't hardly, she didn't hardly that." Right? It's like, I mean, that doesn't matter. Also, he wouldn't know, right? I just met Aaron July 5th, 2022 was the first day I ever talked to him. It's not like I knew Aaron my whole life in in my Scientology upbringing. Hey Yan or any of the people who try to be doubty about it. It doesn't matter if it's Aaron. It doesn't matter who it is. It's just there are people out there that are like, "Yeah, but she barely Hey, apologies.
We all were un, you know, I would never speak or doubt other people's Scientology stories, right? Because I wasn't there. I wasn't there. And so all I know is we could all be put in a room.
I could sit there with Jenna. I could sit there with Aaron, Nora, Serge, Mike Brown, Dylan, uh, Sterling. Any of these people I could sit down with and speak easily in Scientology. So, we all know the same thing is my point. Now, other people might have done other specific trainings than I did, but we all know the same basics in Scientology.
So, some things have occurred to me in the last 24 hours. It started off yesterday when I was live and I was saying this and I said it today to Tommy and I realized something. I'm not just bilingual in that I know Scientology terms and I speak that language. That's my first language. It's easier for me to talk in Scientology than not. Now, I hope that changes over the years, and I think it is starting to really change now. But what I realized this morning talking to Tommy is that I'm also bilingual and more importantly, I'm bilingual in my thinking, which is a huge problem that I don't think any of us are talking about. And any of us, I mean, ex Scientologists, I am bilingual in my thinking. What does that mean?
What that means is when I I'm in a relationship, right, or my friendships, my my family, anybody that I'm in a close close circle with, I still apply Scientology even to that. When I'm out in the real world, I still think my f my how it is when I think in science bilingual and if you're let's pretend that your first your first language is Spanish.
But you're learning English. When you try to think of something or talking to someone or something, your first thought of it is going to be in Spanish. Your first language, that's how it is for me with my thoughts. My first language is Scientology. And my thoughts, my go-to and how I'm going to deal with something is still Scientological, but I am more healed. And I have worked on myself enough through this channel, but also through therapy for the last several years that I can I have to take a moment to go, nope, that's not even real. It's not even real. You got to think like a human. So don't think what LR says because it's like this. Scientology teaches you when you when you see this, well, that equals this. And if it's that, it's definitely that. It makes you go, "Okay, so you have overts, which are crimes." Uh, Neptune's no.
It's It's my default. I'm wired that way, unfortunately. And I guess my question to you is, will that ever change? Hey, baby. I don't think it will. I think as time passes, sure, it's going to fade. But I also believe strongly at this point all this fighting that you're seeing all these people all of this is a as I've said this a result of unhealed scientologists. Okay. So then last night I'm eating my cup of noodles and uh I was watching Tori's live. Tori did a show last night. I don't usually tune in to her but I did because I wanted to see what was going on. And it was Jackson. If you all remember who Jackson is. say Brie Bri.
Absolutely. Brie, I bet you can. Jackson is uh I don't remember his last name. He is a also former Scientologist. I don't know if he still has a channel or not.
He's one of the older Sciento ex Scientologists. He's got a pretty sad story. He was on the show with Leo Remeny and Mike Render. Uh he's a very kind guy. He seems like a really nice guy. I've I did a show uh I was on a panel with him way when I first started, but I don't Morehead. That's it. I don't know the guy very well, but he seems like a nice man and he's he's very softspoken and no Paulie definitely not.
But the point is he was giving his take.
They were someone asked in the audience, what are your thoughts on uh the the people on TikTok that are running into the buildings? And I loved his answer.
and he said what a lot of us are saying, which is um uh he's super against it because it's very dangerous and somebody's going to get hurt. And I liked his answer. He went deep into it and he said, you know, this is all these people know, you're scaring them, you're going into their like private quarters. Uh it was it was a sad answer. And he was he said something that I say a lot on here which was he said I see it in a different way that any of you are going to see it and I've said that too. I see things as a Scientologist. You guys are seeing things on the other side of the glass very much so whether we like it or not.
I see things very differently on many subjects than you guys do. Uh but I liked his answer. I didn't watch the entire stream. I probably watched 30 minutes of it and I liked what I saw and it got me thinking and it got me thinking and then uh I woke up at 4 in the morning last night. I could not go back to sleep.
Lindsay was live. Lindsay has her own channel and she was live and I was wide awake, of course. Hey, Mama Bear. And I clicked on it and it really really really hit me. She was she was um streaming with somebody and I was talking about her the other day. I don't know this person, but I know of her. Her name is Totty and she's somebody that streams with Lindsay. Okay, that's as much as I know about this person. I I I like Hey, Millie. I like the things I've seen her say because she reminds me of, like I said the other day, I I compared her to George Carlin, not because she's a comedian, but because she makes you think. She's very intelligent. She says things where I'm like, damn, I love people like that. I love people who are not just full of empty uh on the surface chatter, right? Like just just empty chatter. I like people uh I know Ronda McNel, I've been having real problems with sleeping. I like people who make you think. Okay, that's all I'm getting at. this person, this this this lady Totty was talk they were they were talking about Aaron and Jenna, which I'm not here to get into that. I'm not I'm not into that. But what she said was made me think. It was very much what she was saying that made me think. And it broke me. I'm gonna be honest. It made me really, really sad because what she said, I couldn't give two shits about Aaron and Jenna, but I applied it to what she was saying to me, to my life, right? Because Aaron and Jenna are ex Scientologists that have issues and so am I. And so I I could compare what she was saying to my life.
And uh you had a purpose on Earth in Scientology. Do you sometimes feel you have a purpose still? Is it now being on YouTube telling everyone in the world that sees your videos about the dangers?
Yeah, for sure, Jojo. And thank you for saying that. Yes. So, the the the message that she was saying was very um meaningful and again it it shook me a little bit because it made me see things that I didn't want to see.
Basically, it made me uh it made me feel dirty and like I need to be more accountable for some things that I Hey, Nicola. That I was uh um that's part of my personality. Uh I don't know what I'm trying to say. It made me feel like I need to take some accountability and and see some things differently.
And basically she was saying that I'm trying it was a lot. So I'm trying to like kind of just put it into a few sentences because I don't I I want to make it my own in what I realize. I don't really want to not here to repeat what others say other than I do enjoy and appreciate like Jackson last night, uh, Totty last night because I take those things and I make them my own and I I apply them to how could that fit in for me. I don't I don't do that unless it's something I want to do, right? Like when people say things that don't matter to me, I'm like, "Okay, yeah, thanks.
Cool. Got it." It doesn't I I it goes in one, it goes out the other because it's not something I can recycle, reuse, and go, "Wow, that's profound." Right? This was something where I went, "This is something." They're on to something and it's making me think.
I think I am starting to realize it, Millie. And thank you. She says, "I don't think you realize how much God is with you guiding you, guiding your responses and sharing. I am grateful."
Hey, in God we trust. I am grateful every day more than ever for the Holy Spirit because I feel that way very much. I feel that way about Jesus and I feel that way about God. But I also don't skip over my spirit guides, my angels, which are one and the same. And Fred, uh, mama bear, yes and no. I have done that in the early days. So what she was saying was basically that these people who fight and break up and fight and break up and they they rinse repeat. They go through the same cycle.
And what she said was basically when you This was really rough, man. This was tough for me to hear. I needed to hear it, but it was tough because she's right.
When you love somebody, there are certain things you don't do that are human decency.
And that could be your mother, your father. It doesn't have to be your spouse. Uh, hey Dylan, sometimes the person we have to become to heal from our trauma is also someone we have to let go of in order to truly embrace the best. Yes, that's a beautiful thing to say. Basically, in other words, Dylan and I've said this, you have to let go of the things that were making you sick. Yes.
But what she said was when you love somebody, and again it doesn't have to be a spouse, it could be a friend, any of these things, there are certain things you just don't do. And those things are called human decency.
And when you truly love somebody, you don't take all of their deepest, weakest vulnerabilities and and plaster them all over for the world to hear.
Okay, I think we all know what she's talking about with the Aaron and Jenna thing, and I'm guilty of it, too.
And what she was saying basically was both of them, but at the time she was saying how they were replaying Aaron's old video of uh he was it was like two months ago or when whenever the last breakup was, but he was saying like how psychotic Jenna is and how she fights him and she can't get him off the phone otherwise she feels like there's rats all over her body and she can't sleep and she's got all these abandonment issues. He was putting out on a platter all of her weakest vulnerabilities for the world to hear and and she did it back, right? But like he was like, "She's insane. She's unstable. She's going to harm herself.
She says she's going to harm herself."
All those things you don't put out on the internet. Now, how mad can I'm not shaming Aaron right now. I'm not because I did that. So, I'm using this as an example. I'm just repeating what I heard. I'm actually not teaching a lesson here. Like, look how bad Aaron is. I'm not being our haters going, "Don't look at me. Look at them."
I'm not doing that. I did exactly what they did. So, this is not anything where like they're more guilty than I am. I did the exact same thing. Hey, Vince.
And it's it's Linda says it's all about respect. Well, it made me think when when this woman said she goes, "It's there's certain things you just don't do."
Yes, he intentionally and maliciously attacked her and attempted to discredit her.
You're not going to hear me say this very often, but to Aaron's I'm gonna go to Aaron's benefit here. I'm going to I'm going to give him the benefit here because Tyler, that's what ex-science scientologists do. That's what we are trained to do. Maliciously attack and attempt to discredit. That is what all these people are doing to me right now.
Okay?
It's info that mostly should be internal dialogue. Maybe what is actually said is a trauma response, right? But we were taught, we were taught that. So, I'm not sitting here going, "I can't believe Aaron did that. I can't because I'm equal to that.
And it makes me feel sick because Scientologists are not what you would call decent humans and they do not follow human decency. They do not know the tactics of human decency. When you guys hear this, it's it's a true statement in Scientology. Attack, never defend. That is a uh what we would call a stable datim. A stable datim is uh a basic rule that does not change. A stable datim would be um I have Huxley. I have one child. I don't have two children. I have one. That's a stable datim. It's a fact, right?
So, they're out of Scientology, but Scientology is not out of them.
Absolutely.
Now, to a degree, it's not Hey, DNB. It's not their fault because that's all they know.
And they're not seeing in my Now, this is my opinion.
This is not anybody else talking.
They're not seeing that they need to solve that or fix that or deprogram from that or heal from that. They're they're they are wash, rinsing, and repeating.
They're doing the same thing over and over. It's toxic, but they're not I don't know if Jenna is getting help. And I again, this is not like I don't really like it makes me feel cringy to dip into other people's relationships because all relationships have problems and I'm not really interested in being like let's look at Aaron and Jenna. I don't I don't really like stay together breakup. I guess what I'm saying is I don't really care. It's not This is where I don't understand my haters. They're all about deep diving into me and Tommy and it's like why?
What do you care? You're not sleeping with him. Like you what do you care? I I don't know. It's that's how I feel about Ben and Aaron. I'm like I don't live there. I don't live in their heads and I don't care. I'm only speaking about this because they're ex Scientologists. I could give a [ __ ] less about their relationship to be honest. Susan Trigg, thank you for the super sticker, my friend.
Uh, but what I guess I'm getting at is I don't care about those two. I care about the message.
And the message is I thought bigger than that. I thought something bigger. And I'm going to get back to this message.
But I thought, thank you, Tennessee girl. I immediately changed my mind about something today. And it again, it broke my heart.
I don't want, this is going to sound wrong. This is going to sound real bad, but I I think I feel this way. At least I do right now.
I don't think I don't think any of the current Scientologists who have been there like I had, like Aaron, like Nora, like Liz, I don't think any of these bornins who have been in for decades, I don't think we should try to get them out.
I mean that these you're going to have if you got these people out, if you got rid of Scientology and you put them out in the world, you're going to have a lot of psychological serial killers. You're going to have a lot of mentally ill attack, attack, attack, attack until the light goes out in their eyes. Never defend. Kill them all.
They are not normal people. These are foxes that were born in a fox farm that have been living in a 2 by 2 cage waiting to be skinned for fur. If you go let them out at 2, three, four, five, 10 years old and they see daylight and sunlight for the very first time, they will die. They can't defend themselves. There's nothing they can do.
It's all they know.
These are broken people.
They do not know anything other than Hey Nancy, the Scientology programming that their brains have been rewired. We were born on a honey badger farm. That's sad.
We did not have a chance.
And then these people wonder why we're so [ __ ] up. And they're watching it in real time going, "G Reese and Tommy, they're so toxic. Jenna and Aaron, they're so toxic. You're f What do you think?"
Were we supposed to come out of the gates just normal? We are beyond fixable in my opinion. There's there's certain things we can change and there's others we can't. And I think the psychological damage is done with a lot of us.
And I told Tommy today, I said, I really think that I should be single.
I don't think that we should even be together because it's not fair to him how much he has to deal with.
In hindsight, do you think you should have stayed in?
You don't think you should have stayed in, do you?
In a lot of ways, I probably should have third eye because I definitely don't fit in out here.
The world is much I mean, yes and no. A lot of people have helped me. A lot of people have stabilized me. But I still feel every day my wiring. It's there. And it's almost like trying to rehabilitate um a pitbull that's bit 500 people.
It's attacked and mauled 500 people.
And it's like saying, "Give it a chance. trust it.
Would you deal with now? That's why you're seeing the the destruction of all of us exientologists. You know, when people come in here and go, I tried to watch you. I tried to watch Aaron, but there's so much drama. There's so much destruction. You guys are so insane.
Yeah.
Not going to deny that. And I know why they are the way they are. And a lot of people don't give grace for that. And a lot of people just really want to [ __ ] hate Aaron or hate Nora or hate Liz or hate me. But the fact is we are way more alike than we're not. And uh do I love being out of Scientology? Yeah, I do. Of course I do. Do I miss some aspects of it? Yes.
Um, yeah, Dylan, it's just it's a conscious choice I have to think about every day.
Hey, Jennifer Folsam. It's it's a it's an effort I have to make. I don't know about Dylan. I can't speak for all the other guys, but for me every day, you know, I the other day I I'll admit to this here. I said this to Tommy. I didn't hear from him. He was out doing stuff. And I'm not going to say what, but I don't want to lay out the guy's personal life, but he was out doing things.
And I didn't hear from him. And he was like, "I'm sorry. I was out doing this, this, and this. I went and I looked at all these places and I saw this and I had to run here." And I got to blow my nose again. Hang on.
And it's hard to navigate life. Yeah, it is, Dylan. And I when Tommy said that to me, I immediately flipped to an ethics officer in Scientology. I immediately in my mind thought, hm, wonder what his overts are. I'd love to pull those.
He's got overts and withholds. And I smell it. That's immediately what I thought. And I was like, his tone level is this, and I just feel it. Now, that's not that's not women's intuition. That's ve it's another thing I have to be very careful about because yes Joanne because there's intuition where I'm like I know I feel this I know I have these red flags and I know it's that's how I know it's me and not Scientology but there are certain things that my red flags and radar go up on Scientology stuff and I'm like no no no no that's not the same thing. This is an intuition. This is me going they have overts. They have crimes and I'm going to find out what they are right. That's not the same thing. That's me being a Scientology sleuth.
And did you feel it with the nomenclature of just feelings without words? Yes.
Yes, Dylan. I did.
And I guess I got really sad when it's hard to explain this, but Scientologists, most of them, we are trained. I don't know. I was I was more ethics trained.
So Dylan, I don't know what you were trained. I don't really want to speak for other ex Scientologists, but I I think that it's true, and you're seeing it in the Aaron Aaron and Jenna thing.
It's true that um No, I don't think they do.
But those under the radar, they don't deserve a chance. I mean, if they're wanting out, yes, baby steps. But what I'm saying is I'm not sure I want to try to get these guys to see the light to get them out. If they're trying to escape, yes, because they they're making the choice to leave.
They deserve the chance if they want to leave. But I don't think it's a good idea to get people out if they don't feel like leaving.
They will be absolute messes and it will be very hard to deprogram someone like my dad who's been in Scientology. Thank you, baby steps, since 1968.
What's he got to come out to?
How the hell are you going to humanize that?
Yes. And that's one of the reasons, Darius, that Jeff I was thinking about Jeff today.
That was a terrible time couple to put together. That was a bad idea that last marriage because why? Jeff was full of secrets. He was full of secrets. And I was I specialize in secrets. We all do in Scientology. And so it was it was like yeah the second I sniffed that out I was like you're full of [ __ ] So what was I doing? I was constantly triggering and hitting that nerve with Jeff at all times. I used my Scientology on him. Um I was a messenger and posted in HCO as the cop. I was the cop too. Okay. So you know exactly what I'm talking about. I um think how many times I hit on that nerve.
I do not intentionally hurt people anymore, Lindsay. But Lindsay says, "I don't see you intentionally hurting people." But what Totty said last night about Aaron and Jenna was absolutely so important.
It was vital information that I needed to hear because what she said was, "Thank you, Marcia Jacobs, Jacob Burgerer." Uh what she said was when you love somebody, you don't weaponize their weaknesses against them privately, let alone for the world to know, right? Do you understand the difference?
I agree with the fact that not trying to get people out, I think people should just have a choice if that's what they want to do. Yes, I agree with that. But I don't agree with let's get these people out and save them. These are animals in a zoo that have never seen anything other than the zoo. They were born into that. So you can't go put them in the safari in the jungles of Africa and expect them to live. They will not know what to do and they will be eaten alive. It's the same thing. That's how I feel about it. And thank you Joanne for your super chat and your your wisdom there. You didn't want to leave. I'm not talking about anyone that is in. You are right about some. Yeah, I didn't want to leave. So, it it also makes sense there why I came out acting like a [ __ ] fool, mistreating people, acting like a bit of a know-it-all because Scientologists are very, very judgmental know-it-alls, right? I kind of came out like, "Oh, I'm fine. I can do this.
I was [ __ ] up. Baby steps, thank you for that." And I still am. There's look at today. There's so much I don't know still that I'm like I never thought of that.
But back to what Todd said, you don't there's certain things you don't do to people, especially people you love that are the loves of your life. You do not take somebody's deepest, darkest things and put them out there for the internet. And she said something that I thought was interesting. She said, "Look at Nora.
Nora is an ex Scientologist." She said she didn't like Norah in the beginning, but now she's for Norah, which I think is great. But she said, "Norah is married." She goes, "You notice that Norah never" She goes, "And by the way, of course they argue.
Everybody in a relationship argues," which I agree with completely. People fight, people argue. She goes, "Do you notice Norah is not spilling all of her secrets with her wife on the internet?"
Do you notice Norah is not coming out going, "My [ __ ] wife did this, this, this, and this." and and throwing her out on on out on under the bus under the internet. That's a pretty dark sick thing to do. And I think it's dark and sick to do it with friendships, right?
Like I met people coming out of the gate, my exmods, right? There were a few people that were like, "Really hurt me."
But then they blocked me so I couldn't I couldn't even apologize if I wanted to.
So I came here and apologized. And then they went on to the internet, created channels, and were like, "I got receipts." Right? Reese is a horrible person. That's just there's you obviously weren't hurt and you just want to play victim so you can get some subscribers. It that's how I see that because there's certain things you just don't do, right? There's certain things you just don't do. And that's one of them. And so Lindsay saying, "I don't think you want to hurt people intentionally." Yes and no.
Because the long con was exactly following the exact playbook of being a Scientologist.
I collected information. I trapped him and I put it out here for the world to see. Right. And it was it was horrible that I did that to Tommy. It was absolutely horrible that I did that to Tommy and his brother.
It was horrible. And I I I've said this a hundred times.
Um, Marty, I don't know. Do you think Nora can ever realize this about Aaron and Jenna or is there too much? Why? I couldn't tell. I couldn't speak for Nora. I don't know.
People see things in their own time. I'm not even saying that I'm right here, guys. I'm just saying what I what came my cognition, which is a word in Scientology used like realization.
That's I I cognited on that.
It doesn't even mean I'm right. It's just it it hit home. It hit a nerve for me because uh what Aaron did to Jenna and then you know she did [ __ ] back to him. I don't think either one of those guys are victims there. Nor am I. But they hurt each other hardcore on the internet. We didn't none of us have forgotten. I mean I kind of forgot. I saw some of it last night. I was like oh damn. Like he was going for the jugular big time on her and she might have done it to him but I didn't see that video.
Uh hey bunny fufu. And I did the same thing to Tommy, right? So again, hey baby lily pad. This is not me going look at Aaron and Jenna.
Nope. I got nowhere to hide. This is I did the exact same thing and I did it intentionally and I was very very very harmful and I was following my Scientology wiring.
Right? I felt like expose expose attack.
When they are the ones withholding the comfort of understanding, it can imbue them with a sense of power. It also creates a sense of separation, which for some can feel safer than closeness.
Absolutely. Yeah. And when you air your laundry out in front of the lawn, you can't complain when the neighbors start talking about your consonants cinjun for underwear. 100%, Tyler. That's what I'm saying. You got to take some accountability here. And just deleting your video and pretending like it never happened. I'm not talking about Aaron and Jenna is not good either, right? I mean, I I'm not putting it back up, right? It's nasty content. It's not the kind of content I want to do on anybody, especially the love of my life, right?
Tyler, thank you for your super chat.
But it's dark stuff. And all I guess I'm saying is I see I see why he did that and she did that and I did that, but I do not want to be on the side of seeing why that was okay anymore. And I I'm not I would never do that again in a million [ __ ] years. I learned my lesson with the longcon and and whether it be Tommy or anybody else.
I'm never ever ever going to do something like that. Uh, of course, yeah, Brie Bri at the time, but it still was a huge mistake, right?
And it's a mistake that will be there forever.
And it's ugly stuff what we are indoctrinated, right, to do. And what's sad too to me is that I can't I mean, I just can't believe that Tommy and I are even in a relationship anymore. The fact that Tommy forgave me of that and we are better than ever, it it it makes me feel very validated.
It makes me feel very thankful to him for being, you know, and and let's face it, very mildly, Tommy attacked back. He He did not do much. He nipped a little bit at my heels, but he could have decimated me back. And he didn't do it.
Why?
Because that's not his [ __ ] training.
It wasn't in his makeup to go attack, attack, attack. Never defend. Kill it.
Bury it six feet under. I want to see the light go out in its eyes. I want to see the body. Kill it. That's a Scientologist.
That's the makeup of a Scientologist.
But you are not that same person. You sought and allowed yourself to grow. Of course, and thank God, and I mean that.
Thank God for that. Nobody else but God.
Thank God for me finding God. Thank God for my my whole I believe in spiritual guides. Thank all of that because these things didn't just happen upon me.
Somebody's been helping me out. I'm not that bright. Somebody's been guiding me and helping me. And I think it's more than one entity. I think it's again spirit guides. I think it's Fred. I think it's Jesus. I think there's a lot of people on my side that are hoping that I'm going to win and pull myself out of this this horrific dangerous behavior. It's dangerous.
It's it's um this is one of the reasons I really don't work with [ __ ] with Scientolog ex Scientologist because you really are playing a scary dangerous game when you do. Thank you baby steps for all the super chats guys.
Um yeah Dylan it's it's uh they are wired a certain way guys. They really are. And I don't find them, and I mean me too, in this to be trustworthy.
I don't think they're trustworthy. I think that that's not their fault. I think uh Oh, hold on just a second.
>> Hey, Hu.
>> Don't forget about your appointment.
>> Okay.
I don't think that they're bad people.
That's not what I'm getting at. So, don't don't confuse what I'm saying.
Don't hear what I didn't say. I think that they are working. A lot of them I see are working on themselves, but it's hard to trust even me because they are trained pitbulls. They are honey badgers. I don't know Sterling's reasons for leaving. He didn't share them with me. All I can do is assume, but I'm not going to do that and put words in somebody else's mouth. Start rumors. Uh they are trained honey badgers. Pit bulls are weak for Scientologists.
Dylan's right. They're trained honey badgers.
It's all they know. So you take all those honey badgers on that honey badger farm that we were born into, right? To just defeat, deflect. We're very dangerous. And you just put them just scatter them out into the world, right?
Like they'll figure it out.
They'll become human. They'll they'll they'll shapeshift into a human being.
It'll all just naturally come back to them. [ __ ] a look at what's going on in this tiny YouTube verse of the exientology community. It's mass chaos.
It's attack attack.
And Totty said, she goes, "He has no loyalty to anyone. Where are all of his former friends? He did the same thing to them that he did to Jenna. He sells them out down the river. He throws them down the B under the bus. And this isn't a this isn't a show about Aaron, but it's an example, right? We're showing in real time.
Look at how it's not just the love of his life, Jenna. He's treating this way.
He's done it to his former friends.
Why do you think those few people left are clinging on to him so hard? Loyalty?
No. fear. They don't want to be next.
And it's kind of like leaving Scientology. I was terrified. And once Aaron threw me under the bus and sold me out and attacked me and I lost 4,000 subscribers over it. And there's tons of people that hate me over it. It was like, "This isn't that bad. It's okay out here, everybody. Like, it's not that big of a deal to be hated by him. It's not that scary. He's not that scary to me."
And and I think it's okay. Like, get it.
Rip the band-aid off. Get it over with.
Let him do his videos on you. Let him attack you for a little bit and you'll be all right. You know why? Because you two are a honey badger. He's not scarier. We're the same. That's one of the reasons I've said he's not some celebrity to me. He doesn't like I don't idolize him like a lot of people do. We all came from the same place.
He just started a channel before everybody else. That's all. That's the only difference. There's always a bigger bear.
Right. It's not that scary.
But I really really really appreciated the message that I I I uh interpreted from this person uh Toddy because it was such a perspective that I needed to hear. Right. People will continue to repeat this bad behavior. Right. Yes, Stephanie. It's all they know. In many ways, it makes me feel kind of sorry for them. It certainly makes me feel sorry for myself. Not like poor me, I'm a victim, but like [ __ ] am I ever going to get through this? Am I ever going to not be a honeybadger?
It's an active it's it's an addiction to rely back, fall back on um our indoctrination. And I have to daily kick it out of my system and go, is that really me or is that what who I was told that I was? Is that really me or is that who I've been trained to be? Is that the train uh destructive person that I was trained to be or do I really feel that way?
Right. I don't I'm not in destru Lindsay's right. I'm not trying to hurt people uh at all. I'm not trying to hurt Aaron. If I was, I'd be doing way different [ __ ] content. And I promise you that. And I'd be talking about some things that I know that I'll never talk about because I don't want to intentionally harm him. I'm not here to do that. I'm not here to use that that trip, that trigger in my mind. I'm trying to get away from being that way.
But can you undo and make a honeybger into a kitten?
I don't know that that's possible.
I don't know that we are This might be as good as it gets for some of us what you're looking at.
And it's very sad and it makes me have I've always said this. I have a soft spot for the ex Scientologist. As damaging as they are, as destructive as they are, Bunny Fufu says he's harmed my entire family. I know.
But it's hard to for me to say this to you, Bunny Fufu, because I you were not a Scientologist. So it's it's I'll ask myself this question.
Did I expect any different out of him?
No.
I feel bad for the people in the community who were not Scientologists because you didn't see it coming and you didn't know what kind of damage that honey badgers do when you let them into your home. To be honest, you didn't know, right? None of you guys knew. I knew.
Keep being you and never apologize for healing out loud. It's okay to make mistakes while growing and learning.
Dylan, thank you very much. I'm not embarrassed to make mistakes out loud.
I'm not embarrassed to grow and learn out loud. That's one thing. Um I think Aaron has trouble with facing what he's done. I think Aaron has a hard time going that was me and I apologize. I did that damage. I see more it was everybody else. It's the world is doing it to me, right? Like I don't take a lot of responsibility. That's where where he's at right now. And I I hope that we'll see a change, a shift, but right now it's he's still in attack, attack, attack, never defend mode. He's still stuck on that hamster wheel. I see it.
Reese doesn't excuse from what I've seen, and neither does Nora or Liz and that's where you went wrong. But to be fair, you didn't know, Bunny Fufu. To be fair, you didn't know. you are excluded from this because it's not fair to include you in this. Right? I expected a human, not a monster.
Unfortunately, and I've said this from day one, if you come out of Scientology like all of us did, hey SoCal Joy, you have to learn and go through therapy to be a better person. You have to undo being a dangerous bad person. Nobody's going to come out of Scientology and people are going to go a kind of like Marilyn how we talked about she was this sweet sensitive soul that like knitted things for people and gave gifts and she was glombmed on and lovebombing all of us and now she does pure hate attack videos, right? She kind of switched over to being a Scientologist to be honest.
She kind of went the opposite way. But you have to practice not being a dangerous person.
That's the truth. And that I will speak for all of them. You don't come out and go, "What a sweet honey batcher. Wow, can I pet it?" Ah, no. They're horrible because they're trained that way. It's not them. It's their indoctrination.
I think Scientologists have a special challenge, but everyone coming from long-term childhood trauma deals with similar things. I'm so sorry for I Hey, Barbara. Wait. I I agree and I disagree with that baby steps. Hey, Nicole Hazel Miller. I think everybody comes out. I agree with you on everybody has some kind of childhood trauma, right, that they need to unpack. They need to reflect on. They need to to take some um accountability for the harm, right? The damage they did. Some people have childhood trauma that are like, "Well, if my parents hadn't done this to me, I wouldn't be this way." They're still not willing to accept, right? And thank you for your super chat. I think that some a lot of people have that. Everybody has childhood trauma in my mind.
But Bunny Fufu is a great person. Yes.
And and shouldn't have been damaged like that. But I can speak to Scientologists and that is not just childhood trauma. Now, it could be like other cults. I'm sure there's other cults that are just as damaging. This is a satanic, in my opinion, by design. uh human destroying cult. We are trained ve we are given very specific training and instruments to harm people.
That to me is not the same as some childhood trauma which is trauma is trauma. I'm not trying to minimize and say this is less, this is more, but it's different to me than having like a uh, you know, horrifically uh, alcoholic parent or something. Abuse is abuse and it's horrible. But to me, baby steps, it's not the same thing as starting at the age of four, train, train, train, read this, do that around the clock. No vacations, no uh, childhood friends.
You're an adult, just the same age as your parents, right? A honeybger is just a really nasty animal. Neptunes, honey badgers are like some of the nastiest.
Like they they they have incredible armor on their skin. They kill everything. They're horrific. They're cool. I like to watch their videos, but um yes, it's very different to me.
Yeah, it's brainwashing. Barbara, wait.
So you've got the abuse, but you've got the brainwashing. You were essentially raised to cage fight as a def. Yes. I was literally started at the age of four against my sister. We [ __ ] hated each other. We never had a childhood together growing up. My sister and I are still just getting to know each other. Okay?
Because we [ __ ] hated each other because we were trained to bullate each other at a young age. And and that bull baiting, that's just one tiny little tool in Scientology out of thousands.
That alone does so much damage.
Bullbaiting is incredibly damaging to people. It desensitizes people. It trains you to be a robot and it trains you to attack, attack, attack. Be as harmful as possible, but feel nothing.
Go for the jugular.
bleed it out but feel nothing. So to me, this is a little stronger than like childhood trauma. This is training tiny soldiers to be killers, psychological killers at a very young age and feel nothing about their kill. That's the scary part about a Scientologist.
That's really, really scary.
Yeah, Lindsay. So, I mean, I can tell you even now I'm I don't want to go too deep into this because it'll freak you guys out and I'm not ready to admit this to the world, but I have hinted at it before. I have a um I don't know if other science ex Scientologists do this, but um I can turn anything off, meaning emotionally.
That's not normal and it's very scary.
Yeah, they're child soldiers.
Yep. When somebody dies, you feel nothing.
So, you really can't threaten me with a lot because I'm like, "Oh, well, right." Like, I'll I'll satanic. Yeah, Scientology is way worse.
Agreed. It's unique and the damage it does. I was not trying. No, I didn't think you were baby steps. And you again are on the other side of it, right? you can speak to uh your knowledge which is pillars of knowledge in the I would say therapy community. Baby steps is a nurse. She she knows a lot about the mind. But where you don't know is is how kids are truly treated just because I was there. It's just different there. That's the only part that I would say is different as far as childhood trauma. I don't know that I would even call this trauma. Um it's more Like to me, and thank you again for your super chat.
It's like taking a pitbull, throwing it in a cage, beating the [ __ ] out of it, starving it, doing that to a human, whatever. That's not trauma anymore.
That's like you just changed that and turned it into something. You turned that pitbull into a monster, a just a train monster, right? Dead to the world monster. It's the same thing. You're rewiring a child to not be a child anymore.
To be a nasty person trained to deaden all emotions, feel no loss, feel not I didn't even know what grieving meant. We are not allowed to grieve because then what would grieving do? That makes you feel feelings, right?
That makes you reflect on the the loss and really feel it and feel go through the stages of grief. No, that's human.
We don't allow that. I'm serious. That's human. Human feelings are not allowed in Scientology. What was the first thing I was raised on that my dad would scream at me and go boom in my face at four? No H&R in this [ __ ] house.
I didn't even know what it meant. I remember being this big and my sister going, "Don't cry. Don't cry." And my dad spitting into my face going, "No H&R in this [ __ ] house." H ENR stands for human emotion and reaction.
No human emotion and reaction in this house at a four-year-old telling a four-year-old that. So what you're doing is it's the same thing. You're beating and you're starving that dog to make it mean, right? It's the same thing you're doing to that child. It destroys the soul. It makes a person soulless. It does. In a lot of ways, Jeffrey Dmer drilled holes into people's heads to make them into slaves. And he poured acid into their heads thinking that that would destroy their soul and make them just empty slaves. It killed them. But it's kind of the same thing. You're you're removing all weakness. You're removing all human.
You're rem removing all feelings, anything like that, and you're it's like you're putting in a new computer that you put in there and go, "Good, kill everyone in sight." Just not of course physically, do it psychologically.
So, when you're around a Scientologist, you got This is why I don't [ __ ] with Scientologists.
This is why I feel bad in a lot of ways for Aaron and Jenna because they're both You got two of them. Not one but two.
And that's very scary because they're both trained, right?
They're equally trained in destruction.
And there's no way you could ever convince me they trust each other. [ __ ] no. They're past that. They're past the point of trusting each other. They've thrown each other under the bus way too many times. They've exposed each other's weaknesses. They've exposed each other's vulnerabilities. And they've held it out for the world to see on purpose, of course.
Love you, Tammy. So, there's there's no way in hell. Um I saw him yesterday when he was live. I saw him call her his angel. He was like, "She's such an angel." I mean, you can try and he's trying to convince himself, right? And he's trying to convince you guys that none of that ever happened.
Unfortunately, it did. And I know what he's doing. And I'm not even mad at him for it. He's following all that he knows, right?
So, it's a tough it's a slippery slope.
And this is one of the reasons that I don't know if it's because I'm the newest out, but it's hard for me to go into this kind of stuff because it is so damaging.
And I don't think you realize what you're dealing with when you're dealing with exientologists.
Oh, man. Exchange my dynamics, Dylan. I did that so many times. My board where I had to draw [ __ ] Oh, it was horrible.
I don't think that you guys I think that a lot of you are like, "Oh, the poor the poor ex the second gens." Yeah. I mean, a lot of us are trying to humanize. You guys help humanize me, but don't think for a second that it doesn't come back. It flips on a dime. And it does. And I was trying to say this without getting I'm I'm not ready to admit this to the world, but I can unplug my feelings quickly. So if Tommy and I have some kind of a fight or a discussion, we don't really fight much anymore, but we argue. I mean, everybody argues, I can easily come to the conclusion and be like, "Okay, well, um, I guess I'll just never speak to you again. So, it was really nice meeting you."
That's where my mind goes. I got no tears. I'm like, "Okay, bye." Like, disconnect, disconnect, disconnect.
That's what we're trained to do. Oh my god, I just put my ow ow ow. I just put my rings just because I was fidgeting on my thumb and it got stuck. That's like a huge panic thing for me. If you're in a jewelry store and you try something on, you're like, "Oh my god, it's stuck."
And you're like you you flash to an emergency room and like some doctor is wearing like a loop and he's like cutting it off. There's that's where my mind goes. That made me panic.
Um there ex I I can easily unplug from feelings because I've been doing that since I was little. It's harder for me to have feelings now. They turn on. You see me just start crying sometimes. I absolutely love feeling more human every day. Feeling the sunlight. Feeling the power of choice. Talking to God helps me more than anything.
But it's only been three years that I'm doing that. So, you have this this honey badger or attack dog or whatever and you're working with it every day and you're rehabbing it and you're like, "It's good. It's good. I don't have to wear gloves anymore. She's doing better.
My I still have four of my fingers on the left hand, right? Like I've done damage, Willow Tree, thank you. Thank you so much for your super sticker. I've done damage that I can't undo.
And all I can do is try to be better.
But a great example that you guys have seen in the real world is the long con.
I take full responsibility for that. I put it out there, right? I'm not in denial about that, but that is my version of Aaron and Jenna. I went for the kill, right? I did not, and I've said this many times, I wish I hadn't put that on the internet. I there there was no reason to put that on the internet for the world to know. Just like the Aaron and Jennifes, they don't need to put on the internet that she had to get an abortion and she doesn't sleep at night and she's a psycho and she's super unstable. That does not that's not for us to know. And like Todd said, it was beautiful.
There's certain things that are human decency that you just don't do. There's certain things that are just human decency.
But what Totty doesn't get Well, no, I think Totty did get it actually because she said that's the Scientology that you're seeing. Actually, I think she did get it.
No, I'm good at identifying with emotions now, Lindsay. My therapyy's helped with that a lot and and I'm I'm I'm trying as fast as I can to heal and get to know myself. So, yes. No, I identify with my emotions all the time.
That's one thing I'm actually pretty good at. But there is no human decency.
Honey badgers don't have it. They see everything. Honey badgers kill babies all in of the animal kingdom. You know, they don't watch those videos, man, because they will they will go grab tiny little kitten baby jaguar babies and rip them to shreds, man. There's no decency.
They don't give a [ __ ] They're just trained to kill. It's the same thing. I did that with the longcon. I Sorry, that scared me. Hold on. I did that with Stacy. I will read your question. I did that with the long con.
That was mild compared to all the damage I've done to people in my life as a Scientologist, right? That was just one little glimpse of of what I'm capable of.
And that's why I say a lot, I don't [ __ ] with ex Scientologists. They're not normal. And I'm sorry, Dylan. I know you're in here. I don't even know you.
You seem to be very uh kind of like Sterling. You seem you guys seem to be very stable at this point, but it's always there. And the potential is always there to bite because that's what you guys were trained to do. That's what I was trained to do. And if we feel backed into a corner enough, I think we would I think our skills would come right back, right?
I It's because it's what we were trained to do.
I see that. Yeah. I I there's some things in Scientology I was trained to do and understand that, hey babe, that um I'm thankful for some of my communication skills. I'm thankful for.
There are some things I'm learned in Scientology that I'm like, well, like for instance, the bull baiting that I've done at this point, I'm like, damn, it really is getting put to good use. These haters don't get anywhere near me. They think they do because I go watch them.
They're like, oo, she's hurt. No, I'm not. I'm not at all. You guys are too late. I have been desensitized since the age of four. I've been training for this for a very long time. internet fat piece of [ __ ] toothless strangers aren't going to affect me, right? That's the last thing because we were trained for that.
You guys are too late, fellas. How do you people then? How do people like you, Norah Dylan, break the cycle and become empathetic people when you leave?
Was there a flicker of that left inside you when you escape? Did therapy bring it out? Um, that is a good question. Um, I think for me, I don't know about these guys, I think for me, the therapy brought it out. And I think it was also my willingness to explore myself. I look at somebody like Aaron and I see someone who's in complete denial and thinks that he's fine. He thinks he doesn't need therapy, right? I've seen him say it like he is healed. He's or he's not healed, but he's just like, "I'm good.
Let's just move on with life. I think I gave myself that gift of I think there's some things to unpack here. If you notice when I first came out, I was very much kind of like, I'm good. It didn't break me. I'm fine. I thought I was.
That's that's a um probably a trauma response if I had to guess. That's what's going on with Aaron, right? And I'm not trying to make this about Aaron, but I I'm comparing to him because that's someone who one of the few who will not get therapy. He has said that and he thinks he's fine. And that's fine. I don't care. I'm not in his life. It doesn't matter to me what he does. I I would prefer he got help because it's better on the side of help.
And it's also amazing to learn about yourself. And so, so Stacy Toms, to answer your question, I think that I was like, I want to know more about me, not who they told me I was, right? My dad um my dad has told me has been shown much disappointment in me for as long as I can remember.
There wasn't much love there, but there was a lot of more more disdain and disappointment.
Uh bit of a failure, I would say. And also made me feel like I was in trouble all the time. So there's I thought there's something to that. And that's not I'm not who he thinks I am. I'm not who Scientology thinks I am. And I'm not this trained [ __ ] soldier. And I'd like to unpack it if I can. So, we started a YouTube channel and that's what we do here. And some days I can unpack stuff and some days I stay far away from it. Some weeks I don't even mention Scientology because it's it's it's heavy. this will be hard on me after this stream talking through this as much as it's helped me and you guys are incredible and your insight and your wisdom helps but at the same time it's heavy and it's like swimming through mud and whether I like it or not I feel better and lighter here but for the rest of the evening my body is going to feel sluggish I'm going to feel like I did heavy work I'm going to feel a little probably just I don't know how else to put it like thick my mind's going to feel not light and airy it's going to feel thick and like I'm swimming through mud. It takes a lot out of me.
Yes, Nanny Carrie. Thank you. I've observed you have the desire not to behave like your previous training. You have shown us that you truly want to do better. Yes, it's exhausting. Tracy Nancy, yes, I do want to do better. Um, drained. Yes, Margie Bar.
I say it every day, guys.
I'm trying.
I'm I I I I pray about it. I want to be a better person. But then you see me slip back and then the crowd goes wild and they go, "See, see, she's still a Scientologist." Of course I am.
And I am whatever people say I am, and I'm not trying to fight that, right? But yes, Nancy, I'm very much trying to do better. I do not. And thank you for your super chat, babe. I don't want to be that way. But unfortunately, when you take somebody, hey Lori Lee, at a very young age, you tell them they're not human. You tell them, hey, Alana, that they're not from here, and you rewire their programming and what a human is.
No human emotion and reaction. When you do all of that, you take a child.
It's one thing to come into this and I don't know what it's like to enter into Scientology in the adult world to walk into a church of Scientology at 25 and go I'm interested in this and deep dive into it and give all your money up and become OTA8 at that age. I think that's different.
I'm not a doctor here, but I think that's different than taking a child who never had a prayer and saying, "This is what you are. This is what you are not.
And this is what you are going to become. And you don't have a choice in this matter. You will attack to kill. You will be a soldier for us. And that is who you are. And I will always be different in everyone's books. You'll never be the same person to each individual person. You'll be a hero to some and a villain to others.
Always. I will, Stacy. I always will.
It's a great comment.
I will always be somebody's inspiration and I will be other people's piece of [ __ ] villain and I they're the victim of me, right?
But I don't believe after everything I just said. I don't believe that we'll ever be normal.
And I know I saw Buffy go, "Well, what is normal?" I don't think we're ever going to be like the rest of you. I don't think that um you take the foxes out of those fox fur farms where they're going to be skinned and they're only raised for that and they've never seen the light of day. They're never going to be like the other foxes. You cannot release them into that habitat.
There's nothing you can do about that.
You cannot change that. And I I truly think um in a lot of ways this is disappointing and and bothersome, but once a Scientologist uh they're always going to have not always a Scientologist so much so other than they're always going to have that training under their belt. And that's why I don't [ __ ] with them. I don't trust them. Like Bunny Fufu said, she expected Aaron to be human.
Hey, HBH. He wasn't.
And she didn't know any better.
Right.
Tommy was honest with me, but I didn't come there for honesty.
Not at the time.
I came to gather information without knowing I was doing it. Right? It's not like I knew and I was aware. I did the same thing with Jeff. I gathered information like an ethics officer would, like a trained ethics officer, like a Scientologist.
And I used it against him. I weaponized it and I used it against him just like Aaron did to Jenna, just like Jenna did to Aaron, right?
I didn't come there to be a girlfriend.
I didn't even really know what it was like probably to be in love. and be a fully uh unconditional love. Um I don't know what I'm trying to say. I I didn't that wasn't the name of the game for me at the time. I was being a Scientologist.
I was doing what a Scientologist does.
And when I go back and I think about what I did to him, it's it's [ __ ] horrible. There's no taking it back. And I couldn't be more sorry to him for what I did.
It was wrong. It was very wrong. But it was I understand why those two fight and he exposed all of her weaknesses like he did. I I see why Aaron did that. Not saying it's right.
It's horrible.
We know how to break people for sure.
So, no real point in helping or supporting one another because we will always be wolves in sheep's clothing.
Dylan. Hey, Jen. O.
Uh, I think we help and support one another if we want help and support. I don't think we force it on each other. Kind of like I said about getting Scientologists that are currently in out. No, I don't think they should be saved. If they don't want out, don't bring them out.
There's nowhere for them to go. There's going to be a bunch more [ __ ] people just like you're seeing now fighting and stabbing each other in the backs and exposing and weaponizing. That's all they know how to do. So, are they wolves in sheep's clothing? No. Not if you create real friendships, right? Like, I feel that with Nora. Hey, Kazza. I don't think Nora would ever hurt me. I know I wouldn't hurt her.
because there's human decency there now.
I feel that, right?
But I don't trust lightly anymore. I don't just go, "Oh, you're an ex Scientologist." Oh, yeah. Come on into my circle. [ __ ] that. No way. They got too many tricks in their bag.
Nope. You guys notice how all the hate amped up when I did my my interview with Tori? Gee, I wonder why.
I'm sure that was just by accident.
I know what went on behind the scenes there. I'm just not talking about it out of respect, but I know the steps on what happened there. Even during that interview, while it was live, there were things coming in. There were things happening. And I know that now. And I'm again, it's not for the world to hear, but it absolutely is Scientology and ex-Scientologists at work because it's all they know how to do. Be damaging and destructive if they don't undo it. If they don't see, hey, Amy Edge, if they don't see they have a [ __ ] problem.
Hey, Genie.
Right? Do you understand that? Some of us are trying to heal because we see that we're honey badgers and we go, "Oh [ __ ] we are capable of some serious damage." Like Thursday before too said, we know how to break people. We really do.
Thank you, Dylan. I believe in connecting if you want to, but I don't believe in going, "You're an ex Scientologist. Let's all be friends."
Uh-uh. We're not for I'm not forcing that. You can't trust them. You got to go with your gut there.
When there is hate towards someone, it doesn't matter how good you are, they will find something even if it's from the past. I imagine at times that could make you think, okay, I will be that [ __ ] Yes, Jojo, for sure. And to you, you're spot on there, too. There's no sense in explaining yourself when someone has decided who you are.
Some people have got my number, right?
and they know who I am and I'm never going to change and uh I'm a dangerous criminal or whatever they think about me. They're never going to change that.
There's no point in fighting anybody's point of view when that's where they're at. That's where they're at.
Genie, thank you for your super sticker, my friend. That was very kind.
Yeah. And I understand that this this aligns with a lot of other traumas and cults and and people's behavior growing up with their parents. I just don't speak to it because it's all I only know what I know. And I know Scientology. I can't re I'm not an expert on anything really but Scientology. And it's not even I'm not a full expert on Scientology. I'm an expert on what I experienced in Scientology. I'm not an expert on the Sea or I'm not an expert on a lot of the things Dylan knows. He's had way more training. Uh, I just know what I experienced and what I can speak to, but I know that it's extremely damaging. This is seriously damaging stuff. And again, this is why I don't talk about it very much because yeah, it's cool to be like, "No more kids in Scientology. Get the kids out."
But why? Those kids are being trained to destroy. You're taking out every aspect of human in those kids. And that's rough. That's rough. More rough than just seeing a hashtag hashtag hashtag no more kids. Now, don't get me wrong. Keep saying it. Keep saying it louder and louder.
But the fact is, hey Lilac, those kids are exper experiencing extreme pressure and damage and they don't have any choices and they're being screamed at and they're probably being um some of them sexually abused, right? So, uh, it's it's it's one of those things that it's like, "Hey, Pat Jonas, uh, like when I scroll past something on Facebook, if it has to do with animals or an animal injured, I'm like, scroll on." I can't even hear about it anymore. It I can't like my mom will be like, "Did you hear that dong that was hit by a car?" I'm like, "I don't want to know. I can't because I'll focus on it all day. I will sit there and think, I cannot see an animal be injured. I don't want to. I don't go to the [ __ ] zoo. I don't support the circus. You'll never see me at SeaWorld.
I cannot stand taking animals and putting them into bathtub tanks or little tiny enclosures for humans to look at or training them for our our enjoyment at the circus. I won't do it and it will make my head spin. Okay.
Redoing early damaging behaviors to heal and create recreate oneself. You and Tommy definitely share that pathway.
Thank you, Darius. That is such a nice thing to say. That's how I feel when I go into the depths of Scientology. It's more than just get the kids out. It's you don't I don't know that we I'm sure you do, but for me it's hard to talk about because I was one of them. I was one of those kids. And it's tough to actually go there. It's tough to actually go into the psychological pathological uh parts of those. Hey, Wendy Brewer.
Right. It's it's it's I guess what I'm trying to say is we can talk about it on the surface, but when we go below the surface, it's uh it's hard. Thank you, Lindsay. I'm glad you were here with me through it. It's tough.
It's a lot harder. And I think sometimes it's harder to talk about it when you were there. Right? And you all know that. You all have your own traumatic experiences. And I'm sure most of you have some experience that you're like, "It's hard for me to talk about that."
When you get down into it, when you get to the meat of it, when you get to the guts of whatever it was, it can be hard to talk about that, right?
But I also believe that's what makes you great.
And don't forget that. I mean, there's so many things about Tommy that people, you know, he's a felon. He was a criminal.
That's what makes him amazing because he came out on the other side of that and he made a choice to be a better person and he's helped people get sober and he's helping people now and he's got a good heart even though he swam through all of that. He made it out. Not everybody does. Guy did heroin for 30 years. Not everybody gets out of that trap, right? So, I like those kinds of people. I like them. Excientologists.
I'm proud of them. I'm proud of them for getting out. Hey, Charlene.
But they're doing some damage at the same time. And And I mean me, too. Me, too. I don't mean they're doing damage. Like, look over there. No, I mean me too. I've done my fair share of damage. I don't want to be that way anymore. I choose not to get into the drama even if the drama gets a hold of me. I try not to do that. Aaron's probably coming for me. I wouldn't be surprised. I'm sure there's a, you know, a whole list of people that he's going to come for again. He's come for me before. I'm not worried about it because I'm not going to fight back.
I mean, I shouldn't say that if it's something really horrible, but I don't want to get tangled up with this scientological behavior and tactics. And that's what they are. It's exactly following the book of LRH. I don't want to do it. I'm not interested in playing those games anymore. I did it for 38 years and I'm aware of it and I see it from afar.
It's damaging and it's hurtful and I have hope for even Aaron. I have hope for those people. I hope that maybe at some point he's going to go, "Fuck, I need to be responsible for some of the [ __ ] I've done." Hey Starina Bunny Fufu, that is very kind of you guys. Thank you for these super chats tonight. It helps me a lot. Helps my son out. So, thank you. I appreciate that.
It's like a tip and I appreciate a tip when I do good content, especially because I don't always do lately. I feel like my content has been absolute [ __ ] And I don't like it. And I'm not interested in talking about the hate, but I am interested in labeling it and the bad behaviors and what I see. I'm more interested in the behavior versus just calling people out and calling them ugly. Uh it is there's no time on healing and it's definitely not linear. It's even messy a lot of the time. Supporting all that are atoning and pivoting. Yes. Now, Dylan, I can get on board with that. I can get on board with that, right? I really can.
But not everybody's doing that, man.
And some of them try to make it look like they are, and they're not.
And I just it's too I guess I don't like this word, but it's too triggering for me.
I'm not fascinated by this behavior, especially this destructive Scientology behavior. I'm I'm I'm trained in it.
It's not fascinating to me. I know a bunch of people like to pop their popcorn and go, "Oh shit." Right. Uh, yeah. I don't I I would think Dylan would agree with me there. I don't I know all the same things. They know we're all trained in the same thing.
That's not interesting to me. You're using tactics that I'm well hip to. It's not that fascinating.
Yeah. That's where uh so are we out here able to really help Ree. Oh yeah, Jojo.
I think so. I mean you're living pro.
This is living proof.
Um you have helped guys. I was I was How many of you have been here since the beginning or close to? How many of you h Let me before you answer that. How many of you uh have seen a huge change in me since then?
It's okay to support from a distance, Dylan. I agree.
Right.
Thank you for that. I have I I see it too now. I see a large change in me. So, Jojo, you this is a this is Yes. It's a living proof that you do help. You guys have helped me greatly. I've said this a hundred times.
Um, I don't know where I would be without this channel. I mean, therapy has helped me a lot, but this is where literally Aaron shoved me out into the world and I didn't I wasn't ready to come out. But you guys caught me and I mean that.
Oh, okay. Liz, I will. My family member out for all decades still quote things.
They're not even aware of it. Yeah, >> totally. We all have seen that one, haven't we? I think for th those of us who are in a relationship with former Scientologist, friend or partner, just need to understand you may not react the way we are used to. And it may take very long and time to build trust. We need patience and understanding. Yes. So, what I want to do, Liz, so this is what Tommy and I talked about today. And Tommy said, this is why I kind of tried to dump Tommy today. I was crying and I said, I don't think it's fair for you to be with me. I really don't because you're going to deal with this the rest of your life, right? I'm never gonna be normal. I'm never going to be This is why as much as Jeff was a problem on his own, Jeff was a liar is what I guess I'm trying to say. But, uh, thank you, Yayana. Nana, thank you. Jeff was a whole [ __ ] mess of problems, too. But I should have never been in that marriage with him. I was You can't put me with a lot of people. I'm not going to be like the rest. And it's not fair to Tommy. And Tommy said, he goes, "I get it. I get it more than I've ever understood it." He's like, "I know you very well now, more than how I used to."
And Liz tries, "That is just the conversation I had today.
Thank you. Thank you for saying that, Liz. And thank you for being a member.
The real question is, do you recommend an extologist going to pound town with a former creme and then falling in love?
I would have said no, Angie, but it happened and thank you for being a member. Tommy is lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have Lindsay get over your insecurity. Thank you, Tyler. That's very kind.
No, I know. Angie, you're cute. Thank you. Love you, Jen Finnberg. Thank you, babe, for being here. And Neptunes, thank you. You're magnificent, Reese.
Neptunes, I really enjoy having you here and I'm glad I've gotten to meet you in this last couple of months. Thank you for being a member and so supportive.
Hey, Heather Rhodess. But I said to Tommy, you know, it's like this isn't really fair to you, dude. It's really not. We are a different breed, man.
Having a Scientologist as a as a spouse.
Donna Cooper, you're a little angel.
Thank you, Donna Cooper. Thank you.
Thank you, babe. And Jeie, thank you for being a member, guys. It's super super supportive. I deeply appreciate it. As much as the haters go, "Ah, you're getting super chats." Guess what? The rest of them are, too. Okay? And this is my job. I appreciate it very much. I never take this for granted. I'm sorry you grew up in Scientology and that your dad was truly horrible to you in the name of Scientology. How hard you're working to heal is super inspiring. What a nice thing to say. Thank you. Auntie Janet says, "That is a really cool thing to say. That's very validating. Thank you. And thank you again, Donna Cooper.
The very thing you just said about Tommy refers to you to as far as the good heart. You've realized the life you don't want anymore. And that's a yes, Mrs. Carson, but I'll I'll I'll end with this. I'm almost done, but I'm not quite done.
I I want to do a show with Tommy on this, just so you guys know. I want to do a show on our other channel about this because he had some incredible points and I said, I want to I want to talk about this live. And he said, that's fine because I don't want to put words in his mouth. But the message he gave me back, I I tried to dump him. I really did. I was like, I love you. I'll always be your friend. But like, dude, I don't know. I don't know that you want to deal with this mess. Thank you, Neptunes.
Keep on keeping on, Ree. Thank you, my friend. I appreciate that. Everyone has their stuff, and a loving person through challenges can bring you closer. He's a recovered addict. It is. No. And he's not. He's his own separate breed, Alana.
And I talked to him about that, too.
Like I have to understand Tommy very well. He's been abused sexually. He was a criminal. He was a drug addict. Of course, he's got his own [ __ ] right?
It's just not the same.
Thank you, Lindsay. I love you too, Jojo. You've been amazing in here. But he said basically he was like it's my responsibility to recognize things about you that are Scientology and when you are when you are yeah Cindy when you are doing when you are behaving like a Scientologist he was like I need to be more loving and patient and understanding that this is what you're flipping to it's your default it's what you know and he said it's actually more I need to be more understanding and responsible for our relationship than you do. And I said I okay I mean that's incredible that you recognize that. But I said do you want to take on that load?
That's a lot. And he was like yeah he was like I I will I won't be able to. I mean Tommy is all he's a he's a big full just sack of love. I mean Tommy is all the time he's like I can't live without you. There's no way my life is not happy unless you're in it. like he he's very vocal about that with me.
But I feel sorry for him that and I I to a degree I feel sorry for Jeff that he had to take on that because I really really Thank you HBH. You're very kind.
Thank you again for your gifts and your kind message.
Yeah, Margie Bar. Thank you Amy Edge.
I'm super proud of your inspiring growth and healing. Thank you, Stacy Toms.
I'm sure Lindsay, you accept his past, he accepts yours. I Cindy G, it's a beautiful thing. How that happened, especially after the long con, is a God thing. It has to be. But I feel bad. I feel guilt even, like I said, for Jeff. Even though Jeff was a total [ __ ] but I really, really, really roughed him up with my Scientology. I used Scientology on Jeff all the time. I know, Alana. He did. And Jeff was a [ __ ] liar. He was He was an absolute fraud. He was going to sex parties under the radar, right? Where I didn't know about it.
So, that's what I mean by that. It's not like Jeff gets a [ __ ] pass, right? He doesn't. I'm just saying that um Hey. Oh, Hley's in therapy. Never mind.
I was gonna ask him to let the cat in.
Absolutely. Does Tommy make me happy?
Yes. Yes. We are in a really good place.
Of course. I mean, but we've drugg each other through the mud. I've drugg him through the mud publicly. We've drugg each other through the mud behind the scenes just fighting and trying to figure out our balance. And I love you, Miss Sunrise Dawn. But now we're finally in a place where we don't do that to each other anymore. We don't fight like that anymore. I don't fight dirty and he doesn't either. We don't fight. We talk.
We disagree, but we do it with respect.
And that's a whole new thing that's been going on for close to a year now, right?
We've slipped up, but he is very much Tommy's way more in control of his emotions. And he's also uh I've told you this, Tommy's incredible because he will say something like, "I'm starting to feel really emotional about this and I don't want to get worked up and like raise my voice or anything, so I'm going to go take a walk. I love you." He always says that.
He goes, "I love you." Because why? Cuz I have abandonment issues and I don't like feeling rejected. I freak the [ __ ] out when I feel rejected.
So now he covers his ass by doing that with me. He's like, "I'm not leaving you. I'm getting upset though and I need to go take care of my emotions and let it out and take a walk through this, but I love you and I will call you in the morning." Okay. Like he is amazing about that now. I'm always like, "Okay." Like it doesn't bother me because when he used to go, "I'm getting really upset. I need to go take a walk."
I'd be like, "Fine, bye. Oh my god, he just dumped me." Like I freaked the [ __ ] out. right now. He's like, "Babe, I'm not going anywhere. It's just me. I'm getting emotional and I don't want to say something I don't mean. I want to raise my voice." So, yeah, he's changed his behavior. He's recognized that that I have real issues with feeling like I'm being left. I'm being abandoned. Right?
So, he doesn't do that anymore. He's like, "I love you. I will call you in the morning." Right? And I love that. I appreciate that deeply.
Yeah. yawn. Jeff definitely didn't know what the hell he was in for and he uh he thought he was going to control the hell out of me and he he was wrong. Uh Tommy tries to understand your past. Yeah, Tommy's not mean. Jeff was very mean. He was very mean-spirited. Jeff called me stupid all the time. He would say either you're a stupid ex or you're a stupid Scientologist or you're an uneducated Scientologist. And he would say, "And you have no common sense and your thoughts are not in reality." And if I would say something like, "What does that mean?" He'd go, "You don't know what that means. You should know what that means." Like, everybody knows what that means. You should know by now what that means. Jeff was [ __ ] horrible.
He was mean for sport. He loved trying to make me feel stupid. And he did it a lot.
We Yes. Jeff picked you, so he brought that on himself. Fred held you in love for sure. My partner goes for a walk or goes to work on the car and I watch a show and we both calm down. I think it's a beautiful thing because men have to do that. I think men get that way. Men need some kind of an outlet, right? Because men can be more aggressive. They're men, right? Not all of them, but I think yeah, a guy just like leaving to go take a walk or go work on a car or like I think those are healthy outlets that we need to as women understand and recognize and go, "This is starting to boil over." Yeah. I I think it's very healthy that before you get to the boilover point, one of you or both of you goes, "Okay, I think you need to go take a walk." Now, I don't ever have to tell Tommy that. He recognizes the behavior and he goes, "I'm starting to get upset." And he'll even say something really genius which I like. He'll go logic is leaving and emotions are taking over for me right now. Like lo I'm losing the logic and the emotional side of me is taking over babe. And he's like I'm starting to feel really upset, flustered. Like I'm feeling feelings and I need to go work through those because I don't want to take them out on you.
He'll sometimes even say I'm not even mad at you. It's something else. It's like I'm just feeling this and I need to go walk through it and get it out because I don't want to I don't want to put it on you. I think that is I think a lot of relationships would be better if people realize that. I think a lot of things kids, parents, uh relationships, I think a lot of people dump [ __ ] on people when it's like this isn't my problem. Why are you dumping this on me? This is why I believe in therapy because even though if your mom's your best friend or your sister or your best friend or your husband or your wife, they're not [ __ ] trained to go, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's the wrong tool. You're working with a hammer and you need a wrench. Give me that hammer.
Here's the wrench. Now you can fix that." They're not trained. Therapists, therapists are trained to help you with those things and work through so that you're not just dumping on a therapist.
You're getting the tools when you leave the session of therapy to go, "Now I know how to [ __ ] take this on."
Right? And after you have session after session, year after year, you start to heal and go, "Now I know how to deal with these problems. I had the wrong tools." Right? Now I have the right tools. And it bleeds into your relationship and your friendships. And you deal with things in a better way.
That's that's how I feel about therapy.
It has really helped me deprogram from Scientology.
It's called boundaries. Tommy puts in healthy boundaries while trying to understand your trauma. He does. He really, really does. And I want to do a show on this. We're going to do a show on Colts and Crims. Uh I mean, I guess we'll just do our regular Friday night show. Hell, maybe we'll do it before.
Today's only Tuesday. I'd kind of like to do it before if you guys are willing.
Maybe we could do it like tomorrow night. I'd like to do a show on this.
Holy hell. Joanne Holly, it really breaks my heart to hear you feel the way you do because of Scientology. And I understand as much as I can from the outside. I respect how you feel about it, but I want you to know that you're very special to me and I love you. I love your heart.
For somebody to just accept you like that, that's an incredible human being right there. And I know most of you feel the way she just typed that out. That is right there in the form of words. Unconditional love right there. That is something I never experienced. And that answers Jojo's question. Is there anything we can really do to help Reese? Yes.
That I want you to know you're very special to me and I love you. I love your heart.
She just holds my hand and understands.
She doesn't tell me what to do. She doesn't tell me I'm right or wrong. She just says, I'm here to love you and accept you for who and what you are.
That is not something that I ever expected, Jojo. I know that I ever expected. So, can you guys help?
Every day for almost three years now on this channel. Yes.
Yes.
You guys have rescued and saved me in every way a person can be rescued and saved.
You have been there for the highs and the lows. And most of you haven't left me. And some of you have, and they were meant to go. They weren't meant to be here.
But that is a selfless unconditional love message right there of hope for me.
Thank you, Yadira.
And that's what keeps me going.
People like Joanne.
And Joanne, I cannot say thank you enough for that. That warms me up so much.
I was going to say you can't put a price on that, but you put a $50 price on it and I appreciate that so much. I need it and I appreciate it. And that's a giant super chat. Thank you for the love.
Thank you for the words. Thank you for the super chat.
And that's why we are here for people we who want to leave. Yes, I'm in support of the people who want to leave.
I know, Tamber June, but I don't know that it's a good idea to just get these people out.
Get them to see the light. I don't know about that because they're monsters.
Can you imagine just putting Dan O' Conor out into the world? Holy [ __ ] Even my in-laws, they're dangerous.
might sound weird, but I'm thankful for your life in Scientology and stinking ASL. If these things weren't true, we would have had the chance to know you like we have. That's a nice thing to say forever, Jack's girl. Thank you.
Has a way. Joanne does have a way of expressing exactly what I'm thinking.
Me, too. Jenny Gingen, no joke. She does. Thank you, Trace. I love you, too.
I have learned so much more about being a better person each day from you. You mean as much to us as we do to you, Ree.
Honey Lou, that is such a nice thing to say. That is so over-the-top, overwhelming, validating for me. Thank you. It means a lot to me when you guys feel inspired or you have bettered something or sought out therapy or just feel inspired to do something different.
I love that. We all have to change and grow. We all have things to improve on.
That's what pisses me off the most about the haters is like, I'm completely right. Look at Reese, but look at Tommy.
Please look at yourself.
Turn that on to yourself, right? You've got things to work on. And you too have a past, right? You too have done all kinds of damage. But all you're able to do because you are that empty and hollow of a human being is go look look over there. Look over there. Look over there.
Don't look here. Look over there. Are you [ __ ] crazy? Try doing a show sometime and just reflecting on all the damage you've done, on all the racism that you support that you won't comment on.
Try it.
I love you too, Trace. Thank you for being here. Love you, Jodie. Dangerous.
And I might have to want to run away from you now, Ree. Sorry. Turn over your wrench, too, Jojo. It's not safe out there. It's not safe out there.
You're the most kind, sweetest person I know. You truly care about us. This is not parasocial. This is real. I'm happy you call me friend. Buffy, you are my friend. And that's such a sweet thing to say, Buffy. I love you. I rely on seeing you pretty much every day. So much love.
I'm happy that some of those left. Makes your channel much nicer. I think personally I'm happy for the long con, too. Much growth since then. You nailed that. Cindy G. I've said that. I'm thankful for the long con. I know Tommy probably wouldn't agree with that, but it has brought about so much growth.
It's made me more honest about the damage I did and the things I need to fix and reflect on. And it's also brought me closer, way closer to Tommy.
And how he forgave me for that also says a lot about his heart.
Love you, Misaw Smokes. Thank you, Sharon.
Yeah, Charlene. I agree with that. Love you, Purple RN. Your realizations have the ability to help many if they would just hear love you for who you are.
That's very kind, baby steps. And I actually agree with that. Think how much better it would be if a lot of us just reflected on and went, "Good night, Caitlyn. I've too have done some damage if if the errands and the haters and all these people I've said this like if we could just call a [ __ ] truce not to be friends none of us are going to be friends but to just fight the true fight which is scientology and get some of our sadnesses our weaknesses out our vulnerabilities of of the damage that's been done to us just admit the abuse that we endured and that all of us did instead of going, "Well, she wasn't really that bad off. Well, she wasn't really in well, she wasn't in the sea or like instead of nitpicking everybody's abuses."
Just just calling it just calling a truce and going, "Look, we all came from the same [ __ ] place. And we all bleed the same color and it really sucks to find out we are human because we were told we weren't.
But we're gonna stop fighting each other and we're going to turn the fight towards Scientology. I wish wish wish this entire community could do that and just go let's [ __ ] stop with this [ __ ] This little nitpicking of don't look at me. I didn't do anything. Look at them. I didn't do this, but they did this. It's It sucks. It will never happen, Jojo.
But I wish wish Hey Wendy K. that that somehow we could we could all not saying be friends, just call a truce.
Just be done with it because everybody's done with it. Read the comments. Read the room. So many people are going, "I'm over this [ __ ] Enough mudslinging of she said this and he did that and this wasn't true and I wasn't there, but I guess this wasn't true." Stop commenting on everybody's relationships, right? That's okay, Jody. Enjoy that, right?
We've all done damage. Done. Clean the [ __ ] slate and just work on yourselves and fight Scientology.
Thank you, BB. Your realizations. Yeah, thank you, baby steps. Thank you for so many super chats from you, baby steps.
That was very kind of you. Uh, and Baby Steps, just so you know, what's tomorrow?
Tomorrow's probably going to have to be it. I I'll text you. True friendship means loving someone in their mess and being there for them. Many of us really love you and you have done a lot for us as well. Thank you so much, Amy Edge.
And congratulations again yesterday on hitting her goal weight. I think she said she's lost like 137 pounds. She finally just reached her goal. That's insane. Congratulations and thank you for the kind words in the super chat.
Have I ever heard Norah's dream for those leaving a high control group? No, but I'd love to.
And Joanne Holly, thank you for speaking for us all. Yeah, she's amazing. Hey, Unstoppable.
People need to look in the mirror instead of instead of pointing fingers.
They really do because the fact of the matter is Aeron's done damage. I've done damage. Jenna's probably done damage, right? Like we're all ex Scientologists.
We've all We've all screwed up. Like, clean slate it. Who cares? Move on. Stop attacking each other and she did this and he did that and look over there and starting fires and getting your friends to attack. Just [ __ ] it. Let's just stop with that. I'm not going to say anymore about it because it'll never happen and it doesn't matter because I love you. Scientology reactions and all. You are my friend and sister in Christ.
that makes you more special to me than you will ever know.
Thank you, Liz.
I feel the same way about you and I really love you.
Thank you for saying that. And thank you for the super chat. I I feel very deeply for you and I know you know that. Thank you, Liz. And thank you to all of my friends tonight for the support, the warmth, lifting me up. I feel it every day. The super chats, that's very, very kind. I have to blow my nose. Hold on.
Thank you, Liz. That was very, very kind.
Yes, Cindy G, that's true.
And always remember it's okay to not be okay. Norah's dream is amazing. It is what it it's us what we needed. Yeah, baby steps. Thank you again. I'll have to find out what this mean what that is.
Maybe one one of the mods can send it to me.
This is what I mean. I don't know anyone else who remembers her community's personal lives. Reach out to them to celebrate or send love. Holds 14 plus hour Zoom calls. You're a rare gem, Ree.
That's really nice, Stephanie.
Thank you for validating that. I always assume everybody does what I do. Thank you for saying that. You guys really matter to me. I really, really care about all of you. Um, speaking of, there's a couple people I just real quick. Diana H, she posted on Facebook on my my whole public page that she is in the hospital tonight. Um, that's D. Please, please, if you would just think about her. Pray if you pray.
Also, I'm not going to go into it, but Susan Cook, I've met her in person. A lot of you know who that is. She comes in here a lot. Please, please pray for Susan Cook.
Something really devastating is going on with her and I'm quite concerned. I'm not going to share any more than that, but please, please, please have her in your thoughts. I'm finally at a stoplight. I adore you, Ree. You're light, your spirit, heart, and humor are undeniable. People [ __ ] up. Not all people own it. You do. Love you unconditionally. I love you, Debbie Zto.
Thank you for saying that. And I knew that. I know you feel that way. I feel that way about you. And thank you for being safe at the at the wheel. The whole situation has me very sad. My dream is that all X's are or we are together. I'll keep praying that. I think it's something to to strive and pray for people. Most people weirded me out, but Reese weirded me in. I love Lumen. God, I love Lumen.
Oh, you're funny. Thank you, Lumen. For Reese weirded me in. Thank you, Marissa Martin. Thank you guys for just just if you don't pray, that's fine. I I don't want to press anything weird on people.
Yes, I will give you a a glimpse of Jitty, but please just think about healing vibes, Care Bear vibes, whatever you can. Some of these people need it badly. You have a huge heart. You help us when we need it. We are up or down.
You feel us better than that's why we love you, Eric. Thank you. I love having you here.
Thank you, Eric. That's such a nice thing to say. I will end it with Jitty.
Will you guys please hit subscribe?
Let's see how many people I lost. I lose people after every show.
Yep, I've lost three people. Please hit subscribe if you would. They weren't meant to be here, but uh please hit subscribe. YouTube does unsubscribe you have and please hit the hype button on this one because I want this to get out into the algorithm when when the show is over. Please hype it. Um and please hit the like button. It helps to push it out in the algorithm. Sometimes I say that because Scientology's content I want to get out into the algorithm. You have a big band of friendship here. We are here to support, make you laugh, virtual hugs your way when you are down, going through a tough time. We are here when you need our help, here for it all.
Jojo, I feel that very strongly from you. When you lost your dad a few weeks ago, I definitely wanted us all to be here for you. That's what this community is. It's not my channel. It's our channel. I've always felt that way.
Every person here is a piece of the puzzle. Every [ __ ] person here. This is not Look at what you created, Ree. I mean, I hit create channel, but you all came and we built it together. There's there's I don't take any credit for this. If anything, you guys did the work more than me because you've helped me so much. So, please know that you are my newfound sister, Ree. I love you more than I feel the same about you, Alicia, and you know that strongly.
Jeanie, I'm glad I joined the channel.
Wow, that's a giant super chat. I am very grateful for that. Thank you. And I'm glad that you joined, too. I'm really happy that you're here. I love love love all of you. I mean that. I'm here for you. I'm not here for the haters. I'm not here for the people hate watching right now. I come on every day, even when I don't feel like it, because I think I I owe it to these people. I'm loyal to these people. I want to be here. I want to share with you guys.
That's enormous, Genie. And it goes a long way and I appreciate it so much.
DJs, thank you for being here and thank you for the super sticker, my friend. I love you, Jamie Palmer. Real quick, love you, Donna Cooper. Thanks again, Donna Cooper, for your super sticker tonight.
Me too, Stacy Toms. I think too, I hope this channel grows, but we've settled, right? I feel like we're all settled in now. The people who are going to leave have left. Yes, Pat Jonas. I feel like at this point we really are a family.
Buffy's right. This to me is not parasocial. I know most of you. I recognize all the names. I love when we get new people. We celebrate that. But I'm happy with who's here. And I'm fine with who's left.
But I feel much more like it's it's this is a more tightknit.
Except for you.
Punky. Punky. Do you mind? Buffy wants to see you real quick. You don't mind, do you? Just kidding. Yardia.
Hey, Punisher.
Well, and so here's our little princess angel. And she's going to get a nail trim this week. And she says, "I don't want to, but her brother is going to go get his uh I do too, Charlene. Her brother is going to get a grooming appointment. and he has to get his poodle curly hairs cut off. And so she says, "I hate it, but I have to go with him because I have to get my Dr. Seuss footy paws trimmed." And she says, "It's a real pain in the ass." But the great news is when my brother has a grooming day, he's gone all day, so it's just me and my mom. And she gives me extra treats and extra love because my stinky brother is at the groomer getting his hairs cut. And when he comes home, I laugh at him and make fun of him for being naked. That's not nice.
It's a community we chose to stay. We may not catch every live, but I'm grateful to Erin for one reason only.
Introducing us to Ree, Norah, Dylan, and the Liz's. Besides that, Erin can step on a Lego. Stephanie, that's hilarious.
And I am grateful to Erin for that, too.
I am. I'm I will always say that. I'm grateful for a lot of things, and that's one of them, for sure.
Oh, gorgeous.
Really beautiful, Laya. Very gorgeous these days. I know. Neptune's. Look at that frosted mini. Hopping on down the street.
Living her life. Doing it right. Pooping outside.
Really upset.
Guys, one other thing I want to say thank you again for something real quick.
Thank you for uh I one of the also really important parts of this stream was before we got into the Scientology talk um maybe not all of you were here at the time. I found out while I was live, my sister had her mastctomy last week and they took her lymph nodes and she got the pathology report today that they got all of the cancer. So, I want to say thank you for that, too. That was a huge celebration. It was a big deal and I'm feeling amazing just because of that. So, I'm super super grateful for this stream. I'm grateful for this whole evening and uh that was just a probably the biggest part of the stream for me.
It was I've been Yes. Original Ann uh I am I have um that has been bothering me.
I've been very worried about that because I just got back into her life after 20 years of not speaking and she's clean and sober and she's just found God in in probably the last several years, I would imagine.
And she's uh she's young.
So, I was always worried thinking I don't want to lose my sister. My dad is super sick. And uh thank you guys for coming over from Tommy's channel. So yeah, it's incredible news and I know not everybody was here in the beginning, but Sam is cancer-free and that is the biggest part of today.
It's incredible. And it's things like that when I think about complaining or bitching about our haters. It's like zoom out. Who cares?
Honestly, she's cancerree. She just had her breasts cut off, which is traumatic as hell, but she's cancer-free. It's like DMV's son, Josh. He's 12 years old.
He had a brain tumor. They got the treatment worked. They got rid of it.
He's going to live a full life now and be healthy. Honestly, those are the things that [ __ ] matter. I'm sorry, but they are. Can you imagine waiting getting your breasts cut off and waiting on the results to find out if it's spread into your body and finding out today God's going to let me live. That could have gone the other way. Like my stepdad, right? She could have been told today, "We got the report back and you're going to be dead. It's spread all over your body." She got amazing news. That's the kind of stuff I really care about and healing from Scientology and trying to be a better person. But thank you for praying for Sam, my sister. I am so happy about that. And those are the things that really matter to be completely honest.
Small things like people saying that I'm a drug addict that don't matter in the first place. It really just doesn't matter. That's not that serious on the scale of waiting on pathology report to find out if your cancer was either taken care of or spread through your body.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry you lost your dad, Stephanie. Yeah, it's incredible news.
It's hard to wait, says Liz, but it's amazing when you get it. Liz went through that. Liz is cancer free from breast cancer. Sam has been kissed by the Lord. Kissed by the Lord. Touched by the Lord. Yes, Wendy K. I am thankful to God for that. And you don't have to be.
You don't I'm not pushing that on people, but I am very grateful to God for that. For giving me my sister back and forming a relationship with her and her living out her life healthy. That's amazing. So, I've been on for two and a half hours. This was a long stream.
Thank you for sitting through it with me. Thank you for listening. Please, please, please. Good for you, Beachcomer. That makes me so happy. Good for you.
And thank you for telling us that. Tell her we're happy for her, your sister.
Um, yes, Stacy, that's so cute. Please hit like. Please subscribe to this channel, and please hype this video when it's over. I don't usually ask that, but it's an important video, so please do that.
Thank you. Thank you for listening with me tonight. That's all I need. It's It's my love language is quality time. So, thank you for listening, for your input, for your your wisdom, your knowledge, all the engagement that means the world to me. Thank you for the super chats.
Thank you for being members, for gifting memberships.
Yeah, Jojo.
Wow.
Thank you for that. I mean it. I will see you guys on the boat. Mods, thank you for always protecting us. Thank you for being so loyal and for being so loving to everyone, even Yadira.
I love Yadira.
Uh I love my mods very much. They are my close friends. Thank you HBH for being here. All right, everybody. I will be back tomorrow afternoon. Um might be later. No, it'll probably it'll probably be in the five o'clock area there tomorrow. Five o'clockish. Love you, Tamber June. Good night, truth seeker. I love you all. Thank you for being here.
Thank you for the gifts. Thank you for the memberships. I mean it. I appreciate that so much. Jeanie, Joanne, Holly, thank you for the giant super chats, guys. Baby steps, all of you. Donna Cooper, thank you. Uh, love you guys.
Love you, Original Ann. And I will see you guys tomorrow. Here comes Fred.
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