The video attempts to moralize a biological lottery by rebranding structural aesthetic bias as a meritocratic achievement of "inner substance." It is a sophisticated justification of systemic inequality through the comforting but intellectually dishonest lens of individual self-improvement.
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Pretty Privilege Is Real… But It’s Not What You ThinkAdded:
Let's talk about pretty privilege.
>> Mom and dad, you did a great job.
>> I realize it's not just about how you look. People don't speak about why pretty privilege works because it's the confidence that [music] actually attracts people to you. But the most dangerous combination is pretty privilege with substance.
Hi guys, welcome back to the coffee club. The coffee date you don't cancel.
>> I love this set you're wearing.
>> Thank you. It's one of the very few sets that I actually own.
>> You're not a very co- person, are you?
>> I'm not. And you are a very coow person.
I am co-ord.
>> Yes, you are.
>> Honestly, do you know why? Because I feel like when you wear a co-ard, you look put together without even trying.
You just have to accessorize it.
>> Yeah, I love that. So, I never was a coord I think until I met you. Okay.
Wait, I have a random question. What's a recent random purchase you've made?
>> What is a random thing that I've purchased >> recently? Like something that's so recent?
>> No, but the thing is being a mom, you do end up buying random things.
>> That's why I'm curious what you would be buying. Okay, I'll tell you a few things that I purchased recently.
>> So, I got these things and you stick them on the window, >> okay?
>> And you just continue building on it.
They're kind of like sticky Lego.
>> So, I got that to entertain my kids because honestly, it keeps them entertained for hours >> really.
>> So, that was a fantastic um purchase.
Highly recommend. It kept them entertained for hours. Even Rya, like Raheem was building it, then she carried on pulling it off and he was like, "Mom, she's pulling it off." And I was like, "Oh, it's okay. Just keep building.
[laughter] You're doing great, sweetie."
Oh, do you know what I bought? That was quite random. The other day I bought, you know, those um it's kind of like a knife that you use to open a package.
You know how do you open >> regular scissors?
>> Yeah, you can, but it's not very aesthetic. I need to feel put together.
I like feeling put together.
>> You know what? Capitalism loves you.
>> They see me coming.
>> That's why I'm so curious what you have a lot of things.
>> Yeah. And you have like like a high social status in noon 15. noon 15 or noon if you're watching this. Honestly, run me my check because [laughter] I have been spending way too much money on your app.
>> You know what's crazy? I just downloaded it when I went to Abu Dhabi last week.
>> Isn't it fantastic?
>> I've made one purchase from >> You can order coffee on there and their coffee is good.
>> Yeah, this is not sponsored, by the way.
>> It's not sponsored by Noon. And I'm going to stop talking about your business now because we're running you free promo here. What's something that you bought recently that's random?
>> Random. I'm not like a random purchaser.
Capitalism hates to see me coming. I won't buy like little knickknacks and stuff, but even though they'll probably make my life easier, but I'm like that money I can save and like I can then buy like a bag. And what did I buy the other day as well? Oh, I bought a Pilates ring. What I love about Dubai is everything is so efficient. I ordered it on Amazon and it came 2 hours later. 2 hours on Amazon. They're competing with you. Are you hearing this? We might just sign a contract with Amazon if you don't sign us quick.
>> Amazon, where you at?
>> It's your chance. one of you keep fighting. But yeah, Amazon, honestly, me, I'm just a impulsive buyer.
>> Impulsive buyer. Yeah, >> that's me. I'm impulsive.
>> I need like a hella convincing.
>> Like, I need like a few ads. I need to go look at reviews.
>> Oh, no, no, no.
>> Throw an ad on my Instagram thing and I'm buying it.
>> I have this new vision for my life.
>> Okay.
>> I think I want a farm.
>> I have I literally I'm actually speechless.
>> I know you have a lot of questions.
>> Wait, what do you mean you want a spa? A spa? No. See, this is what my mind is thinking. I'm like, you want you want a spa in your house?
>> Sorry. Sorry. What do you mean you want a Having a spa in your house would be fantastic?
>> Maybe I can have a spa in my farm >> for the animals.
>> So, listen. This is what I'm thinking.
I'm >> thinking farm.
>> I don't know. Like anywhere.
>> Why do you want a farm?
>> Because basically I was in Elsar Avenue and Have you been to the good life or not yet?
>> I have been to the good life.
>> Okay. Have you been?
>> No. No. I haven't been to the good life.
I've been to one life.
>> Yeah. The one in the >> one in D3. There's one instal, but they actually grow vegetables upstairs.
>> Oh, okay. They're doing little Nar Smith.
>> Yeah. So, they have like vegetables.
They have tomatoes, lettuce, and stuff.
They have a hydroponic farm. And I went there the other day and I was like, I kind of want to grow my own vegetables, >> but can't you just get a pot and put it in your kitchen?
>> So, I do have tomatoes in my balcony.
>> Oh, that's cute.
>> But it's not good enough cuz like when the season's not like when it's too hot, they don't go.
>> You need a greenhouse. I'm the least farm person. I'm so far away from being a farmer. But you look like an aris. The other day I bought a little greenhouse thing that you could do at home for Raheem and yesterday I threw it in the bin cuz I seen a worm in the soil.
>> How disgusting is that?
>> Worms are supposed to be >> Yeah, I know. And that's made me think that I never am growing plants in the house ever again. Are you serious?
>> All the plants in my house are fake, >> Ila.
>> Yeah, >> you live in a simulation.
>> I absolutely do.
>> What do you mean there was a worm in the soil and you didn't want to?
>> How dare [laughter] How dare a worm >> slither itself? And then I started overthinking it, right? And I was like, "Oh my god, did a fly lay eggs and it's a maggot." And I went to my husband. I said, "I know that we we've made this greenhouse for Raheem, but there's a worm in the soil, so I'm going to throw it in the bin." And he looked at me and before you could say anything, I threw it in the I went to the bin shoot and I threw it away.
>> Disgusting. Okay. When I was young, when I was like Raheem's age, I used to like collect worms and put them in like make like a like a sand box and like collect them and I would put them in the bathroom and my mom would go to Yeah.
That's because my mom couldn't find it.
I knew she would kill me if she found it. And then some days she would go to like clean and stuff. She would open the the bathroom cupboard and she like, "Nada." And she start yelling at me cuz it was like worms and like other insects. I loved beetles.
>> You're disgusting.
>> No, I love it. I loved it.
>> I'm just a girl. So, I'll tell you. I think my dad never had sons, so he wanted us to be like little boys, me and my sister. Now I want >> I cannot imagine you on a farm. You'd be the hottest farmer ever. [laughter] I can imagine the outfit. What do farmers wear? I sound so out of touch.
What do farmers wear?
>> I think farmers are just >> overalls.
>> I think that's like in America and stuff. Let's not talk about >> You must wear You must wear overalls.
>> I You think I can't walk on a farm like this? I'll do it.
>> I will make you a farmer coord.
>> Give me a cowboy hat. Today I want to talk to you about pretty privileged.
>> I'm really intrigued to hear what you've got to say about this. Okay. So, I literally scrolled the internet to understand pretty privilege and mashallah, I think we've experienced a lot of pretty privilege in our life.
>> Mom and dad, you did a great job.
>> Thank you for birthing me. Okay, so let's talk about pretty privilege. Even though I wanted to believe that pretty privilege was just like how a person looks, I realized it's not just about how you look. Like even for me, I had to elevate my appearance so much. You are born a certain way, but there are so many things that you can do to enhance that beauty of yours. Makeup is one of them. Having your hair done is one of them. But beyond that is like better skin care, good treatments, taking care of your body from the inside out, eating good. I used to be so fit and then I had like a phase of my life where I was so unfit. Everything I was eating was wrong. I was like in a bad place in my life. And it shows on my face, on my body. And people treated me different.
like you get treated so differently when you're at like the best shape of your life versus the worst. So what do you have to say about pre-privilege? What do you feel that it is and how have you experienced it? I have always been a confident person because I grew up in a household where we just felt loved before you initially step out into the world. Your household and your environment builds your confidence and how you feel and how you perceive yourself. Like my mom tells me I'm the best looking girl in the world.
>> So it's true.
>> It's true. Whatever my mom says is true.
And in secondary school, I was a chunky little a chunky little babe. I was little.
>> You were a chunky chunky.
>> I was chunky. And so none no guys liked me. Like guys would not even look at me >> in that way. And it didn't bother me until I got to about 16. I feel like because I had no male attention throughout like my younger years in school and stuff, it gave me time to work on my personality.
>> Oh. And I think that I'm more attracted to people's personalities than their outer appearance because I have met so many people that are physically attractive. And when I initially look at them, I'm like, "Wow, babe. Stunning.
Fantastic genetics. That DNA strand of yours, it's it did its job. It did its job. Top tier.
>> You're in the top 1%.
>> You are in the top 1%. You don't have to do anything. Just don't talk. Don't touch." And when they do talk, I think you should not have spoke because your personality is so icky that now your attractiveness has diminished or you've gone down at least 20%. And it's interesting because I've also seen people that I would not be physically attracted to. However, you've got charisma, you're funny, you're charming, you're witty, and there's just something about you. Like your aura is so magnetic that I'm like, I get it. I get why all these girls are lining up the block for you.
>> I see the appeal. Yeah, >> I see the appeal. If you're beautiful, but you have your personality is icky, then your pretty privilege goes way down down to the bottom of the line. Also, people don't speak about why pretty privilege works cuz pretty privilege is how you carry yourself and the confidence that you are oozing out because it's the confidence that actually attracts people to you. So, it's really interesting because your beauty comes before your character and it's the first thing that people see. So yes, you have to invest in it. If you're privileged to be pretty, you must use that beauty to elevate your life. And if you're not categorized as conventionally pretty, there are so many things that you can do in our day and age now to actually elevate your looks. I was on TikTok watching this girl and she was talking about how she went to Vegas with her best friend, okay? And she she was just like an averagel looking girl. She said, "I have never understood the concept of pretty privilege until I went to Vegas with my friend." She said, "I've never understood it, and I think I would have never understood it had I not gone with her." After seeing how her friend moves along in the world and how things just come to her, and she's always attracting good experiences, good people, and stuff, it changed this girl's whole perspective of the world.
She said that like even though conventionally she didn't feel beautiful, she she was the type of person that doesn't really go out with her hair done or like she doesn't really have like an outfit that's like so like statement or something. and maybe she doesn't do her makeup. But after seeing her friend that spends like 2 hours to get ready and then goes out and the world is like coming to her like she's like honey and they're all bees. She's like I decided I have to elevate my life 100%. And she said that this girl was getting like obviously like free tables in Vegas and free experiences. They were checking out late from their hotel and they had to pay an extra fee and this man just came to her and said, "Let me take care of that. Honey, you're too beautiful to pay." and and the other friend was like, "How come I've never experienced anything like this before?"
And it's so true. I feel like even though this girl was beautiful, I haven't seen the friend, so I'm sure she's gorgeous. It's also her personality that had attracted people.
Her friend said it was her body language. Her body language was always open. She was always smiling at everyone. She was very friendly. She came across as not only beautiful but very nice. So when she did make eye contact with someone, for example, that person felt that she was friendly enough to approach versus me. Like if I make eye contact with someone, they look at me, then I like look somewhere else.
[laughter] But then I'm like, maybe they just like how my hair looks or maybe they like my outfit. I'm like, boy, boy, look at >> the amount of girl. Oh, so me, I'm that person, right, that looks at girls way more than I would look at a guy.
[laughter] I look at girls all the time to the point where I think they think I want them cuz I will study a girl that's sitting in a coffee shop and I'll be like, "Wow." And I'm just sitting there in my mind saying like, "Her hair is so nice. Oh, I wonder what lip liner that is." I'm going to go ask what lip liner that is. Oh, no. She's on the phone. I'm going to ask her afterwards. Oh, she's really nice. Laya, you can't ask her.
Stop looking at her. This is literally what goes on in my mind. I'm that crazy person that's just admiring people from afar.
That's so >> And that's like someone's doing that to you and you're like awkward because it makes me so uncomfortable. I don't know how to explain it, but like recently I walked into a cafe and like a lot of people looked at me when I walked in and then I started panicking. Like I started getting like hot and like >> guys on my face and I'm telling you it was not normal how many people were looking at Nadia. I literally that was pretty privileged because the queue for the restaurant was there was like five people ahead of us and then someone came and just offered the table to us. They got up and left and they gave Nadia the table.
>> Yeah. I just that's pretty privilege.
>> I think some girls maybe don't realize what pretty like I think I'm one of them. I'm like what's on my face? Like is there blood on my pants?
>> I literally said to you I was like you just look good.
>> And I'm like Ila I looked at you I'm like what's on my face?
>> You look so good.
>> I'm like she can't see it. Yeah. So, it is I guess about like the way you carry yourself and your confidence and your aura. And >> maybe people see it before you do, but maybe one thing that I'm working on is owning it. So, like I think like postn nose job and everything, my face has changed and I'm a lot more confident in the way that I look. Um, even though it was such a minor like >> it changed the way I looked so much, but I feel like I could have still had the same confidence without it. So, it's not like you have to go get a surgery to change the way you look, but it's genuinely the way you carry yourself.
And I've always been confident growing up. I look at like these old pictures of me when I was a kid. I was like, "Oh my god, you were like, not a kid. Kid, I was so cute." But middle school, I was ugly.
>> No, he was not. I've literally seen >> No, I was ugly. I had two teeth going that way. The two front teeth. My hair was like in a ponytail that was this big. I always wore a headband, you know.
My hair was so frizzy that I used to go and get it thinned.
>> Oh, like get scissors.
>> They would they would like the salon had these like thinning scissors and they would just remove layers of my hair.
>> Isn't that crazy though? Because now all we want is luxurious hair.
>> I wish I took my mom's like you're going to you're going to regret this later.
I'm like, "No, I look like a like a giant lion." No, you actually wasn't.
>> I swear. And you know me with my hyperhydrosis and stuff. Like I was a sweaty mess. Yeah. I think it's it is the way that you carry yourself. And >> I it took a lot of unlearning like awkward habits to realize that like okay when I do start investing in my looks my like and my my personality has always been like funny. I think I'm like you. I went through the ugly phase so I had to make up like for it with my personal alhamdulillah. How lovely. How good is that? How amazing is that? It's like we didn't have a glow up during middle school that it gave us time to perfect our personality and now we're like I'm literally a I check all the boxes.
>> Exactly.
>> I'm funny and cute. Going back to pretty privilege and how people look externally. I don't want someone to listen to this and think that oh you guys are just talking about like the typical beauty standards. I feel like what we're touching base on is that the more you look after yourself, the more opportunities that you get in life because of how you present yourself and the confidence and the aura that you are projecting out.
>> Yeah.
>> Because after I remember when I gave birth to my son, I after I gave birth to Raheem, right, I remember saying to myself like I'm eating for two. I was eating like I was eating for the whole damn household.
It was not It was not okay. Honestly, I think I was consuming like 10,000 calories a day. No word of a lie.
>> I didn't believe it until you showed me.
>> I have to show a photo. I think insert photo here. And then after and my mom, I remember my mom saying like, "That's fine. If you're craving something, you just eat it. You can't deprive yourself.
Like the baby wants it." And I was like, "Yeah, she knows." She said five kids.
And my mom is like the smallest little petite woman. I was like, "She knows like >> she can back. I can too."
>> Right. Anyways, after I gave birth to him, I was like, "I'm still big. What happened? But the baby came out. What happened?
>> When the baby came out, what happened?
And I remember the way I felt was so low because I didn't recognize myself. And like you said, you get treated differently. I don't know if I'm overthinking things, but I'm more than sure like I felt like I was invited less to things.
>> Yeah.
>> And even down to like friends, I would like see them out together and I'm like, I didn't get invited. I don't know.
Right. Shallow. How the movie? Have you ever watched it?
>> No.
>> Oh, you have to watch it anyway. But it's just like I felt like very >> I just felt like I wasn't included into things. And then I focused so much on myself. I was like, "Oh, I've got all this time because no one wants to hang out with me." [laughter] >> No friends. Who wants to hang out with me?
>> You had horrible friends.
>> Awful friends. That friendship group has quickly switched up. Anyway, um and I went to the gym and I focused so much more on myself and I just like had to rebuild my confidence and it worked.
>> True. I'm going to ask you like what are some little things that helped you rebuild your confidence? Cuz I think for me when I felt really horrible and shitty about my appearance. Um I changed my eating habits. That was the hardest.
That was the hardest. I love to eat. I love sugary things. I love anything that will make me break out, that will make me get cellulite. I love it.
>> You're like, "Give it to me.
>> Give me those flaming hot Cheetos."
[laughter] >> You do love a flaming hot Cheeto.
>> I do. [gasps] So, I think I really had to change the way I ate. I did have to do the gym, the Pilates and stuff. So, that was also the hardest thing.
Physical activity when it's not in your life.
>> Yeah.
>> Like if it was in your life and then it goes away that when it goes away, it's so hard to get it back.
>> Um, and I think the last thing that really helped me, and this is like a life hack. Um, you know those manifestation like tracks?
>> Oh, yes. Like affirmations.
>> Yes. Okay. Even till now, I listen to them every morning.
>> No, but they definitely work. It's some sort of vibrational thing that's going on and it just penetrates through you and contining your day.
>> Yeah. Like I have this one playlist.
Wait, I'm going to It sounds in the car.
>> In the car every day. I do one out of the like I have Oh. Oh, it's literally open right now. No way. Okay. I want to hear.
>> I appreciate everything that I have.
>> I [snorts] appreciate everything that I have.
>> Oh, you repeat it. Joy.
>> I live in joy. It's like I >> You said I enjoy.
>> I No, I live in joy. So, like there's a few. So, I have like um I have this one's like morning affirmations for abundance. This one's morning affirmations for finance. Feel good affirmations for like love yourself.
>> Oh, I need to make a playlist.
>> Love like law of attraction. Morning affirmations uh to attract abundance, confidence, and health. So, this guy Bob Baker.
>> Bob Baker. Okay. Okay. Bobby >> Bob Bobby Baker. He has like some pretty good ones. They're easy to listen to.
>> Um, his voice, not like not that girl's voice, but his voice is really like easy to listen to.
>> Oh, okay. He has one of those like radio voices or just like a soothing, calming voice.
>> Exactly. And And like the things he says, they're not just basic. Like that one was a little bit basic, but they make you think. You're like, "Oh my god, I wouldn't have thought of saying that."
And then when you say it, you feel good.
So I'm just like driving. I'm like, I live in joy. I'm beautiful. I do affirmations with Raheem every day. And his class do it also. So when they go, he they have like a morning song that they sing and they're like, I am brave.
I am strong. I am. And bless him. The other day I said to him, I was like, Raheem, I love you so much. And he said, I know. And I said, why do I love you?
And he said because I'm kind and I'm brave and I'm smart and I'm kind and I'm a big good to my big my little sister.
And he was just saying all these things and I was like bless his heart. So I'm trying to instill those affirmations from young.
>> Yeah. It really makes a difference because when you like actually believe in like yourself and you believe those things about yourself, nobody can tell you otherwise. Like if someone comes to you be like okay well if you think that about me I am kind. I am a good person.
I am whatever.
>> Yeah. Honestly if someone came to me and was like you're inconsiderate. I'd be like, I'm the most considerate person you mean. I literally couldn't care less what you were saying.
>> Yeah, exactly. So, I'm glad that he's learning that from so young. I love his little personality. Okay. So, I think the most important thing that you can take away from this pretty privilege does exist, but the most dangerous combination is pretty privilege with substance. So, your appearance matters, but so does what's inside.
>> And the way you take care of yourself also really matters. After this, actually, I'm going to get an IV drip.
I'm focusing on my health.
>> Really?
>> There's a little miss anemic here. It doesn't want to be anemic anymore.
>> So, I didn't know this, but yesterday I went to get Botox. I told you. In my massitors and in my underarms >> cuz I'm a sweaty girl.
>> But she told me that we're not like after Botox, you're not allowed to do any IV drips for 2 weeks.
>> Oh, really? Why?
>> Did you know that?
>> No. Maybe it flushes the Botox out your system.
>> Oh, maybe.
>> I don't know. But that made me sound really smart.
>> Yeah, you're a genius. Okay, Dr. L.
[laughter] >> Oh, yes. According to science, >> Dr. Le lives.
>> Sorry, not invited.
>> Exactly. I'm >> so mad about it.
>> So, yeah, this is good. I feel like I learned a lot.
>> Yeah. And I feel like the girlies can take this as like a message to elevate their lives. You can do something so small like go get like a LE therapy mask, you know?
>> Oh my gosh. Yeah. Just something that you can do at home. Even just like purchasing a face mask, honestly. Like something that you can just do like self-care at home. run that bubble bath, put on a face mask, do your hair, curl it when you're finished and you'll wake up and you'll just feel better.
>> Agreed. And I think also maybe like look inwards like towards like healthy things. So maybe like look at skin care that have like good ingredients or use more like natural um remedies. So I had a sty in my eye and >> Oh my god, it's completely gone.
>> Yeah.
>> How >> can you imagine?
>> No guys, this was yesterday.
>> This was literally yesterday. I had a sty in my eye. Hwitt rubbed garlic in my eye. She like opened my eyes, rubbed like a raw garlic.
>> A raw garlic. She like put it on the stove, made it a little hot, and then rubbed it in my eye. Yes, it was crazy.
>> And my sty is gone.
>> But it is actually gone.
>> It's actually gone. Can you believe it?
So like natural remedies really work.
>> It's so true. Because a doctor would have prescribed you like some eye drops that would have taken a week for it to even get better.
>> One day later. So there you go.
>> Love that. Now she can wink at you guys.
>> I can wink it with my sty eye.
>> A little sty. Um, thank you so much guys for watching this episode and we will see you next week Wednesday. See you.
Bye.
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