What on earth have I signed up for (new lore)

Added: 2026-05-10

[00:00:00]This is something I would have never have shared online. What have I gotten myself in for? Why am I here?

[00:00:08]When I first got here, I was like, "Oh no." Got my school bag on. Ready for crazy school. I'm very do it for the plot.

[00:00:17]Breakfast this morning. It's a big day.

[00:00:20]Zero rest for the wicked. Came back from New York. Did the whole A&E thing. New plane, new place, new experience. This is something I would have never have shared online. Going on a bit of a wacky adventure. Just so fine with being myself. I just don't care what anyone thinks and I would much rather show up authentically as myself and the wholeness of who I am than to I guess cherry pick person. The difference is now that I'm in my 30s is that I'm just fully embracing that. I'm fully embracing just not living my life to please others. I live life to please myself to make myself smile. I am actually doing this to become almost like better at what I already do. So I want to be better at public speaking, better at my channel, better at my flow. Love to learn. Learning keeps me really stimulated and keeps me from getting bored with life. And I think that's why I'm still on social media because social media is something that I haven't fully cracked unconfidence when it comes to some parts of working with other people that I would like to get better at. I think a lot of people are accessing their gifts right now are realizing that they want to do more with them. And I think in order for me to facilitate being a better guide for those people, I need to study. I need to go learn and I need to share what I learn with others.

[00:01:43]So that's kind of my goal. I think it's going to be fun. Oh, there he comes. My chariot arrives.

[00:01:54]Appreciate it, >> guys.

[00:02:03]What have I gotten myself in for?

[00:02:11]My doty little single bunk and it's facing out onto this spectacular garden.

[00:02:17]the grounds here. I cannot wait to explore. The energy outside is really amazing. So, we've got my little bed, a little wash up. There's a shared bathroom.

[00:02:28]And this is the garden outside.

[00:02:31]Isn't that amazing? I'm very much looking forward to kind of exploring.

[00:02:35]There's mirrors everywhere. Anyway, I need to run down and get in the dinner queue.

[00:02:41]Morning. I'm not looking too hot, let me tell you.

[00:02:46]One night of bad sleep, I can do two nights bad sleep pisses me off. Throwing on a light face. This shimmery SPF from Charlotte Tilbury first to kind of just give me some life. I just want to put on something to make me feel a little better. So, why am I here? I feel very clearly and I know really clearly. I use my intuition so deeply. I work with my higher self so much and I'm just really interested and know quite a bit about how to open my channel and receive information and I'm here to get better at that. So when I saw the course title feel the fear and do it anyway, it kind of made sense for like the chapter I'm in in my life. And I also wanted a bit of a challenge. Like I said, it's an intermediate to advanced course. I've been grouped into the intermediate. This course is essentially taught by mediums and it's run by this spiritualist national union. They kind of do their own thing. You don't need to be a part of their church to do the course because mediumship and working with spirit is part of their sort of thing, their practice in their organization. They are the ones that run the course. So, it kind of makes sense. But I was obviously a bit apprehensive. I was like, "Okay, like are they going to try and get me to join? Like what are the vibes?" But it's not like that at all, which I kind of knew it wouldn't be really like I read enough reviews. There's just all walks of life here. There's a Persian girl.

[00:04:11]There's there's another Irish person from Cork and just some other lovely people that I'm already connecting with.

[00:04:17]We met the tutors for the first time last night. And I was so nervous.

[00:04:22]There's two tutors, but I'm sort of grouped with one for a lot of my work and it was completely the right lady.

[00:04:28]They were cracking jokes all night in sort of the introduction circle where everyone was just getting to know each other because we're going to be getting really familiar with each other. We're going to be reading each other all sorts all of the things that make me um really nervous and I've been trying to just let go of my expectation and know that it's okay to be wrong and that it happens that sometimes you really get great information when you're practicing and sometimes you don't and sometimes you have better days. So I am trying to release the the perfectionist in me that I've been trying to quieten down for the last few years so I can just practice and enjoy the experience. So I'm not looking to become a medium that you do like have a reading with or be sitting with, you know, where they kind of let spirit come through and give you information. That's not necessarily what I'm looking to do, but I know that the same principles sort of apply for the work that I do. It's a really beautiful environment. Like everyone here is a healer, you know what I mean? It's actually just a lot of people that want to help other people. I like to find out things for myself and I've always been led and guided towards the right thing and so far I'm having no regrets.

[00:05:43]>> This is an instant divorce. How dare you?

[00:06:00]I think this spot is calling me.

[00:06:09]We started the day off, but part of it was a meditation where we connected with our spirit guides and we reached like a really deep state of meditation. And immediately as soon as the tears started flowing, like I knew I was on to something that felt very, very connected. And yeah, my spirit guide right now, he's kind of funny. We're off to a flying start. Let's see what we learn next.

[00:06:33]Okay, our next lecture is in this room. Doing weird stuff like this, the setting really adds to the ambiance, you know, gives you a lot to connect with or feel energetically, but like wow, look at this. I just cannot get over the views from this place. It's just gorge, stunning way. This is where our smaller group class is.

[00:07:06]>> The weirder life becomes, the crazier my hair gets. But if you've been liking the vlog so far, please consider subscribing. I would love to see you back here in this little circle.

[00:07:15]Everybody is welcome. Okay, we're after lunch. Sliving for the w mysterious.

[00:07:22]What a day. I feel like I've been calling this psychic school. I think the better word is first day done and mediumship school, which is kind of funny. It's kind of funny that I blended those two things together when they actually they do sort of mean different things, but I've thrown myself in the deep end. I think uh something that occurred to me today very ironic that one of the jokes that I make in modern mystic I always say like oh my higher self and spirit know that I like things to feel like my intuition I love to basically intuition max instead of talking to dead people cosmic joke like ironic fashion uh that's a lot of what mediumship is so I feel like I knew that but I sort of just signed up so quick and on such a whim just purely trusting that I'd be in the right place at the right time. It kind of caught me off guard when I first got here. I was like, "Oh no." Definitely feeling the fear in doing it anyway, as are a few other people. Like there's definitely people that feel very outside their comfort zone, don't have a lot of trust and faith in themselves. Just met some really great supportive people. I feel like everyone I've been paired up with has been such a supportive, nurturing energy that I don't feel like I feel like I can be bad. started the day on how to basically almost start a session or start a reading or start a sitting. Our smaller group was basically about like really digging into our fears about sharing our intuitive and psychic and mediumship impressions. There's a lot of like wituan stuff like being afraid of being perceived as being a fraud or being judged or like you know things like that. I'm not somebody that has ever really even practiced on demand reading for another person. It's this really cool exercise. She gave us a photograph like it's just like random.

[00:09:13]You just pick at random a photograph and then you have to sit in front of the person and look at the photograph and pretend that they're a stranger and basically give them a positive only positive messages only reading based on what you're picking up from them and the photograph blended together.

[00:09:35]Oh, this is heaven to me. This is heaven. I don't get to do this enough. A good barefooted grass walk. All the horses are still out. It's my favorite time of evening when the moon is out and it's just blue hour. Good morning. About to start off day two. I'm just in very casual, easygoing where it's going to be roasting today. Another day, another opportunity to show myself I can do difficult things. Excited to hang out with the girls today. I feel like there's a little pod of us now of like four women in 30s and I've just naturally gravitated towards them. And on top of that, they're all really nice and really sound and people I want to hang out with. So, it's kind of just funny when you come to these things, you do gravitate to a certain pod. Got my school bag on. Ready for crazy school.

[00:10:28]What I've realized, I think, is I'm very do it for the plot. So, while you're here, you can sign up for a reading with one of the tutors. So, I've got my slot.

[00:10:43]>> I love this. This is great.

[00:10:45]>> This is >> technically speaking, yesterday I was not a medium and since then I feel like I am a medium. I have done mediumship which is absolutely mad to say. I haven't already reiterated it enough or so far depending on how I edit this.

[00:11:02]I didn't really know what I was getting myself in for. It's like a weird thing.

[00:11:05]I think spirit the universe whatever puts you in the right place and lets you see the things that you need to see to get you somewhere. Getting here realizing I don't know anything about mediumship really practicing it doing it and a lot of people here do know how and are very experienced. So, I've managed to hold my own, but I'm really proud of how me and some other people that were really felt like out of their depth have come on in the matter of a day. Here are the skills. Here are the tools. Now, go give uh a reading. Three sessions today.

[00:11:33]Psychic skills when working one-on-one with a client, but the mediumship element is a completely different thing.

[00:11:39]Like actually channeling people that are coming forth. I know we all have the capabilities of accessing these things, but the fact that I learned them in a day is mental to me. Here, what they teach is evidential mediumship, which is not something that is legalized in places like the US. You can just give readings, but in the UK to give a psychic reading, you have to be licensed and registered that you were able to prove with sort of concrete evidence, concrete descriptions, places, things like that that you were talking to someone related to the client in front of you.

[00:12:13]Like guys, I nearly died. You're at home like shaking your head. Trust me, I'm there with you. I am not someone who has ever even wanted to do this. I've always admired it. But I always just was like, "Nope, that's not my thing." The advanced people in this course are actually training to be platform mediums. So to do this in like group settings, public, like you know, Terresa Caputo style. I can very very clearly see the lesson in this whole journey of trusting myself to build confidence within myself and my capabilities. I tuned into somebody's dead Indian boss girl. I don't know where I'm going with this but I'm going to trust it and she was able to tell me who that person was.

[00:12:51]I did. It ended up being this beautiful artist energy but friend that had died prematurely. And then the one I just came out of before dinner was also a duo thing. So it was me and another girl.

[00:13:02]were exhausted. Like, we've been so tired from the day. And we were both just like, "Girl, like I don't know how we're going to do this. Like, we can just go easy. Let's just like try and survive this one and go under the radar." It worked out cuz we ended up giving each other the most amazing, gorgeous readings where we were relaxed and we were having fun. Oh my god, no.

[00:13:20]We've done four readings today. I totally forgot there was one where I had to stand up in the class on my own and do it. And I volunteered cuz I wanted to just get it over with. And I was like, there's no way. There's no way I'm going to get information about somebody's loved one in this room. Hi, somebody's grandmother came through. Somebody in the room has to claim the person. And the tutor was behind me as well and she could feel what I was sensing. So like I really feel like I'm doing this for the plot. Very least you can appreciate that even if it's not your thing. Just come along for the ride. Tonight I have to go contact my mom to see if I can validate some of the messages that I got.

[00:13:57]grandmother was really prevalent, which I know is crazy to say. Um, and as well, like I haven't had a lot of experience with mediumship and I've never had the opportunity to potentially connect in that in that way, but I don't know them.

[00:14:09]I never knew them. And I feel like today made me feel like if I was connecting to them, then I know more of their personality now and about how they think and how they felt about different things. So, that's been cool. One more full day to go. I can't believe these courses are usually a week long. I think my brain would be like fried after a week, but a lot of people here have seemed to have come back. So, there's no fridge in my room, so I've been keeping my chocolate cooled on the window sill.

[00:14:37]I've been having like two squares a night rationing. It's like a bougie toblone, but with pieces of pretzel and caramel and sea salt and nice things in there. Highly recommend.

[00:14:46]>> Quick shout out to our sponsors, Squarespace. Not only do they have me bring these videos to you, they are an incredible online platform where you can design your slice of the internet. You can choose one of their highly customizable professionallooking templates or now you can even use their design intelligence AI which will assist you in creating any type of website you need with a few prompts. So whether you're looking for an online store, an e portfolio to display your work, somewhere where you want to share about your services or take appointments or just somewhere where people can find you, Squarespace has you covered with their 247 support team and added features that will help you make more money in 2026. You can try their no strings attached two week free trial to just play around, see if you like it, see if it's for you, or you can just type in squarespace.com/tarmmer along with code tmer if you do decide to push your site live. That will get you 10% off all future billing. Thank you so much for watching, supporting my partners. Let's get straight back into it. The funniest thing about this place is sometimes it'll just be like this, like hauntingly dead. But then if you just follow the music, if you just follow the sounds, progressively gets louder and louder the closer you get to the bar.

[00:15:59]Lots of laughs, lots of good times.

[00:16:01]Everyone's very down to earth.

[00:16:07]Morning. Last full day of classes. far in and having discussions with the girls. I think the most important thing you can have on something like this is just discernment. Like tutors, teachers, they're all going to have their own way of doing stuff. Me and my little group have all had our moments where, you know, the teachings may resonate and then some don't and you kind of just are like, "Okay, well that's your opinion and I'm just going to keep doing it my way because it works and that's grand."

[00:16:31]Quite a well-rounded experience so far.

[00:16:49]Wow. Day three. Wild ride. Guess we're getting creative with the camera angles a little bit. I don't know. I just had like nerves or something. Just feeling like I wouldn't be able for it. But thankfully the structure of the day has just been different. Well, the structure is the same, but the exercises have just been different. It's been a way more relaxed and instead of the sort of platform mediumship we were practicing and the pair mediumship like just talking face to face today was inspired writing which is mediumship through writing. It is different to automatic writing but now I've realized that I think I've always been doing a lot of inspirational writing but we did a bunch of different exercises today that blew my mind and actually really helped me build confidence in myself. Yeah, I cannot explain how I was able to connect with people's loved ones through writing. Person we were paired with and one of the pairings was actually completely secret. So, we got numbers that was it that was matched up with another person at random in the class and we had to just tune into the energy, pick up on an important dead person essentially to them and then write the living person a letter from the spirit world. And again, this all sounds nuts through talents that some people have to do this, I have not a doubt in the world that it's possible. And I think you have to go through life like that. Just if you can conceptualize something being a possibility, it's probably possible. You know what I mean? Open-minded to allow your beliefs to change. And yeah, like I wasn't super convinced about like even though I sort of accepted this stuff, now I feel like I'm really convinced, especially if someone like me can do it and actually get genuine hits. I wrote a letter for another person and it felt very weighted. I feel like I responsibility with it, I guess, because it did feel like someone that was like important, almost like a past partner.

[00:18:44]and I gave it to the lady and it turns out that she was waiting for a message the whole weekend and in all of her practices and stuff this person had never come through and I didn't know this about her background. I didn't know the person and I was doubting myself at every turn. I was like please you can just tell me if this letter is completely inaccurate or doesn't resonate so I can go check myself into the mental hospital. It's a very thin line between imagination and getting genuine mediumship information. So, you just got to you got to it's trial and error, babes. But I could not believe that. And it ended up being something genuinely special for her and that she really needed. So, that was like, okay, maybe the writing thing, maybe the writing thing is more for me. In the second class, we just had straight pairs. This time, we gave each person a name. So, I gave a relative's name that I know is crossed over, which was very last minute. Like, I hadn't even thought of this person all weekend, but it was just like, "Oh, they have something to today. So, I shared that name. They gave me a name, tune into that person's energy and write them a letter as well.

[00:19:44]I got like really good hits just for me that was really important cuz I've been struggling with tuning into the person's personality and bringing out more personality traits, but tune into what it was like to be them, their mannerisms. Like, what I'm really learning is how different using your psychic skills are versus your mediumship skills. And I think everyone has said to me, I'm very good at the psychic stuff, but it's hard and it comes into play, but it can also get in the way. I really feel like I was starting to crack starting to crack some good stuff. I got the most beautiful message. I'm not going to show you the whole letter, but I'm going to show you some Irishisms there. First of all, she nailed that it was my uncle. She said, "Uncle/ bro." She said, "Don't eat all the tats." It was spelled it potatoes, but what she meant was what my uncle would have said there was potatoes because he lived in England most of his life like once he grew up as an adult.

[00:20:38]And uh we used to bring him those crisps all the time or have to ship them over.

[00:20:42]They were like an Irish, you know, Irish potato. She didn't have a clue what tes were. So that was really special. Again, I wasn't trying to connect to any of my relatives this weekend and I feel like they've all come through. I was like, "Oh yeah, I don't think I've lost that many people." But when I think about it, I actually have. I just forget because I carry them so close in my heart and I feel like I talk to them all the time.

[00:21:03]Like not in a communicate like two-way back and forth like mediumship, but it's just nice to feel their personality. And I think that's the amazing thing about mediumship is you are bringing that person's spirit and their personality back for just just a little while being very very comforting and loving. They're the personalities of half my ancestry this weekend. And I didn't have that. I had no tangible connection to a lot of these people that I never got to meet.

[00:21:31]Going home with my heart very full. One more class and lecture. Dinner's now.

[00:21:37]So, I'm going to go have my dinner. We survived, guys. We survived. So, so happy that I got put in Daniela's group.

[00:21:42]I feel like she's my kind of woman.

[00:21:44]Like, no tea to Val, but she's definitely like, you know, more intense. So fun, but like that definitely would not have been my vibe of class. So, if anyone likes my energy, I vouch for Daniela's course that she has at Christmas. I'm not trying to sell you these courses. I don't care if you ever come, but I just know I'm going to be asked. The only person here that I can vouch for.

[00:22:05]Absolutely no affiliation with this place. I paid with my own money, paid the extra supplement to get my own room.

[00:22:10]Just a last note, I was just reflecting there for a second on how I'm so grateful that I met my little pod, my girls. three people that I genuinely feel like I'll keep in contact with.

[00:22:20]That also just really encouraged me to keep going when you just want to run away. The process of the ups and downs, you can get like disheartened. And my woodland fairy nymphs feel like when I looked at all of them, I'm like, you all look a little witchy to me. Like what?

[00:22:33]We've got like a little bit of a coin going on. Oh, and I forgot this one.

[00:22:36]This was the letter that I got from somebody else. And right bang, smack in the middle, it says, "Trust yourself."

[00:22:44]This person was actually kind of at the same level as me. So, she was annoyed that she gave me a short message, but I was like, I don't care. My messages from spirit with spirit. They're always short been my word for this whole trip. So, side note, but the same week that I was at this course, the Irish census from 1926 was digitized. I remember, I don't know, maybe it was about 10 years ago when the 1906 census came out. I researched and tried to find some of my family members and I was actually pretty successful as harrowing as some of the details were. I think it was in 1906. It was some kind of records that were digitized. Anyway, but yeah, these just came out, but this was my mom's side of the family from out east and their census was all written in Irish. So, you'll see family and all of the kids.

[00:23:32]But I don't know if I mentioned, but one of the readings that I had gotten on the second day was from like an Uncle Tom.

[00:23:38]And look who I found. Uncle Tom. Now, I did actually verify this with my mom.

[00:23:43]She did remember an Uncle Tom on her dad's side, but pretty pretty cool that I feel like he came through and he felt like he was good crack and was cracking some jokes, wise jokes at me and my husband. So, I don't know. Pretty interesting synchronicity all in all, which feels very special cuz I feel or have felt quite disconnected um from a lot of my relatives. I know how valuable your time is, so I appreciate so much that you chose to spend it with me. If you haven't hit the subscribe button yet, please consider it. I would love to see you back. It was a bit of a quirky vlog. Let me know what you think and I will see you back here next