Being Lonely as a Gay Man in your 30s

Añadido: 2026-05-23

[00:00:00]Hey there guys. So, I want to thank you for taking the time to check out today's video as always. So, I do again really appreciate your time. And what I want to discuss today is something that kind of I guess somewhat expands upon sort of the live stream that I discussed.

[00:00:21]And mostly it's about loneliness and being a gay man in your 30s. And that's sort of what I want to discuss and I feel like it's really relevant and I think it'll relate to a lot of you guys going over this particular topic in itself. Um before I do get started, I do want to mention a few things. So, here in the coming weeks, I will be traveling and I'm actually going to be going to Pride um in Los Angeles with a close friend of mine is like I mentioned to you guys before, I did live in Los Angeles for around 3 years and I'm really nervous about this trip to be honest. It's been a while since I've traveled. It's been well over 5 years since I've actually been well probably beyond that since I've been on a plane. Um, but I'm actually going to be traveling the first week in June coming up. And I'm planning on trying to sort of record a little bit of my experience as I go out there and again share with you guys a lot of what I'll be, you know, all the stuff that I'm planning on doing. And I'm really looking forward to sharing that.

[00:01:41]Hopefully I get a decent amount of maybe videos, photos to share with you guys post trip. Um, but I did want to share that. So, my uploads may be a little bit staggered around that time. Um, but I do plan on doing another video next week.

[00:02:00]So, I did want to share that with you guys beforehand. I do was still planning on sharing more content. Um, but I just wanted to share that. So, as we talk about this topic, I again feel like this is really relevant. I feel like this is something that I've dealt with a lot in my own personal journey and throughout my entirety of my life. As I've mentioned before, I have always been somewhat of an introvert. I've always really enjoyed time to myself in a lot of ways. I'm very, again, I've always been a quiet person. And I've been somebody who's really an observant person and a thinking in a deeper level. And that's always been my personality. And one thing I think is very important to be aware of is that I know for everybody how we handle being lonely is different.

[00:03:02]We can handle loneliness in so many different ways.

[00:03:07]And what I want to go over especially, you know, for my own just to give you my perspective as well is that being lonely or having that feeling of loneliness, there is a way for you to overcome that and use it as an advantage for yourself.

[00:03:30]And I know it can be harder, especially as we age, to overcome that. And I wanted to just share some things that have helped me throughout my journey. I mean, with myself, even though it doesn't seem like it, I've always really been to myself a lot of times. And I've never really I've not really had that many relationships. I've not really, you know, I've not had that many, you know, encounters with guys as you would think. As my appearance shows, I'm I'm not really I'm not the hookup type guy. I'm really I like to connect with anybody I talk to, and that's always been me.

[00:04:21]uh even though I can be pretty open with my sexuality, I still would prefer to connect with somebody on a deeper level.

[00:04:30]And that's just the type of person I am.

[00:04:34]And so I think that's why a lot of times like I've I've always kind of had that feeling of being lonely because I feel like like I've mentioned in previous videos, I've never really connected.

[00:04:51]I've always had that feeling that um I don't connect as much with a lot of people because I feel like I'm, you know, the black sheep and I feel like I'm outside of what is considered normal. I feel like I see things in a different way.

[00:05:10]And one thing I found out here recently, I'd come across a lot of my old sort of pictures when I was younger and a lot of my stuff that I had from when I was in high school, middle school, and things of that nature.

[00:05:26]And one thing I I thought was very interesting when I come across all of that is that I used to ride a lot. And I actually still do ride a lot. I I when I mean I guess he would say I do keep journals, but a lot of times I would just write down stuff when I felt like it was relevant to write down or I felt like it was something that I needed to get out of my head. And that's one thing I think that has helped me a ton throughout a lot of the feeling of isolation and loneliness is that I would always sit and write down so much stuff.

[00:06:07]I I came across a lot of different a lot of pieces of paper that I have from when I was in high school and I would just journal stuff like just a lot of stuff that was on my mind. And I, you know, going back to that, I mean, here recently, I've tried to make it a priority to journal more, to take the time to when I have, you know, a lot going on in my head to actually sit down and really get out what I feel, exactly how I feel it. And I think that helps out a ton if you can just be honest with yourself and just write down exactly how you feel. And I know that everybody's not the journaling type. But I think that is one thing that has helped me a ton with sort of overcoming isolation.

[00:07:00]There is something about writing something down or getting something out of your head in that way that I think can be healing and that's what's helped me a ton in my own journey itself and like what I've mentioned especially with somebody who's an introvert who's very you know internalizes a lot of things that's why I've mentioned a lot about you know when I talk about music movies and you know all of that. A lot of the reasons I talk about that is because that is another form of escape. It's a healthy form of escape, you know, and that's the way that I've always used my loneliness is to go into those mediums of, you know, entertainment or to write down or to read. And I feel like that's a very healthy way to approach loneliness.

[00:08:02]And one thing I think is it's beneficial. I think there's a positive that comes with that feeling. And when you spend time to yourself, I feel like that allows you to truly find yourself.

[00:08:16]That's what I've seen it as. I've spent a lot of time to myself and what I've noticed is that I've learned to really take the time to understand who I am. I think we do sometimes we need to shut things off and avoid the distractions and really sit back and think about who do I want to be? What am I the type of person I try I am trying to be? and what do I need to do to continue to find myself to really understand who I am? And I think when we begin to understand exactly who we are, it makes it so much easier to me at least in my own viewpoint that we can find somebody who clicks with us, who understands us fully. And I think that's what matters a lot. Use that sense of loneliness as again as a use it as a benefit. That's that's what I try to think about a lot of the things in my life. Like I would always ask myself questions when you know why do I deal with anxiety? Why do I deal with depression? why I would always ask myself these why questions when I would go through a lot of these really negative events in my life and I would always ask myself why are these happening why why am why am I going through this season and I think what has helped me to push past that when I feel like I don't understand I've always tried to switch the perspective and switch the mindset and say to myself, maybe there is a benefit to why I'm going through this. Maybe this is a reasoning. There's a reasoning behind what I'm going through. Maybe this is something that is making me stronger.

[00:10:29]Maybe this feeling of loneliness is something that is making me stronger in the end. And I know it can be extremely hard, especially if you're a gay man, because you have that even larger feeling of issolation because the challenges we face are completely unique to an another person because we don't have our challenges are are just not the same as somebody who has a ton of other I guess you would say privileges. or a ton of other benefits in their life. And so there is a unique challenge that does come with that. But the way that you can overcome that challenge is to see it as a benefit as a see it as a jumping off point to something better. The fact that you're able to go through these challenges is going to make you stronger in the end.

[00:11:36]There was a post or a few posts that I had seen recently that was discussing basically why are gay men why do they tend to be more successful than maybe their straight counterparts and a lot of that has to do with the barriers that we have to overcome.

[00:11:59]That's why a lot of gay men are are all most most are in a lot of successful positions is because they have such unique challenges that they have to overcome. And so it means that they have to work 10 times as harder to accomplish, you know, those challenges.

[00:12:21]And that's another thing to think about when you have those unique challenges.

[00:12:29]It does put you in a position to where you have to think a little bit smarter.

[00:12:34]You can't just, you know, just you you can't just go make it through easily. You have to go through a lot of hoops. And that's what I've felt a lot of times in my journey is that I've always felt that I've been unseen and that I've feel again like an underdog.

[00:12:56]But I've been so frustrated. There's been so many times where I've been frustrated and so angry as to asking myself again why why why do I have these feelings? Why why do I feel lonely? Why do I feel like I not I don't fit in? But then I always make it as much of a priority even though it's it's very difficult. I make it a priority to say okay let me use this as an advantage.

[00:13:24]Let me let me work as hard as I can. Let me go as far as I can and push myself as far as I can to really get to the point to where I feel like I'm seen and I'm understood.

[00:13:42]But again too, like I mentioned, when you're in the feeling of isolation, think about understanding what you're trying to accomplish.

[00:13:54]Really, again, find yourself in that position of isolation.

[00:14:00]I again think it does help us. I think when we turn off a lot of the distractions and when we turn off a lot of the noise, we do, you know, start to hear our thoughts, we start to hear what what what we're trying like what are we trying to accomplish? What what is it that I want out of life? And what is it who I who am excuse me, who am I as a person? And so again, I think that's something you have to think about. And like I said, everybody's unique in how they approach those feelings of loneliness. But I think using healthy habits again makes a difference. Take the time to journal.

[00:14:45]Take the time to, you know, do meditation. That's something that I've been trying to go back into really build the habit of again, too. I used to do a lot of meditation before and I kind of gone got out of it and I've went back into building the habit again and I understand how much it has helped. I would do you know I've kind of been doing some breathing exercises here recently. Again like I've mentioned I've somebody I've been somebody who's dealt with a lot of anxiety. I've dealt with a lot of depression and I've had to been strate be had I've had to been excuse me I had to be strategic and how I approach it because I I don't want to do anything like I don't want to use a really bad coping mechanism. I've always been somebody who what is the healthiest way where I can cope with this situation?

[00:15:45]What is the best way that can help me overcome this without having to rely on something to, you know, make me overcome this, you know, even though I've had to been I've always had to use, you know, I have to take medication for a lot of my anxiety and depression, but at the same time, I've always told, you know, been telling myself, what can I do to help alleviate this? what can I do to gain control over this without relying on something that is going to, you know, negatively destroy me? Like, like I don't want to have to rely on something, you know, and that's that's always been my whole perspective when I've went through a lot of those feelings is that I want to use the healthiest habit I can. And that's why fitness has become a big thing with me. That's why you know using you know journaling, writing, reading has been a very immersive thing for me to get away from all of the negativity I have about myself and the loneliness. I use that as a coping mechanism and I think that's the healthiest coping mechanism and that's what you have to find when you're in that position. But like I said, when you have that feeling of loneliness, no matter where you're at, and again, I know for a gay man, it can be very hard, especially for us, because we have those challenges, but use that to your advantage. Use what is considered a negative and turn it into something that is a positive. And that's the way that I approach or, you know, my whole entire journey. That's the way I've tried to approach it is to just see it as a jumping off point to something better. But again guys, I really appreciate your time. I really hope that this gave you a little bit of a thought and um really impacted you in some way.

[00:17:50]I felt like this was something I want to discuss because I I did a live stream where I discussed this, but I wanted to do it without, you know, outside of just some of the fitness aspects and just discuss it straight on and to give you guys a little bit of my perspective on how I approach those feelings of loneliness.

[00:18:10]But again guys, I really appreciate your time. I always enjoy sharing these videos with you guys and I I really hope that they do help to give you a sense of calm. But thank you guys once again for watching. I will be doing another video next week. But again, it's going to be a little bit crazy in the following weeks where I'll be traveling, but I do plan on sharing more with you guys. So, thank you guys once again for watching and I will see you guys in the next one.