Nobody Sends Flowers After A Divorce

Added: 2026-05-20

[00:00:00]When I lost my husband, people showed up.

[00:00:06]There was a funeral.

[00:00:08]They brought cards.

[00:00:10]They brought flowers.

[00:00:12]They brought casseroles.

[00:00:16]They called on me to check on me, to make sure I was okay.

[00:00:24]But when I was divorced and discarded by a narcissist, there were no flowers.

[00:00:35]No one brought sympathy cards.

[00:00:39]No one stopped by to check on me.

[00:00:42]No one brought me any casseroles.

[00:00:49]Just silence.

[00:00:52]There was only silence and the noise in my mind, the overwhelming feeling that somehow I wasn't good enough.

[00:01:06]I wasn't good enough to be loved.

[00:01:11]At least when my husband died, I knew that he loved me.

[00:01:18]I knew he adored me.

[00:01:22]But when you go through a divorce, it's a different kind of mourning.

[00:01:30]It's a different kind of grief.

[00:01:33]It's a kind of grief that attacks your identity.

[00:01:38]With death, the death of my husband, I mourned the loss.

[00:01:45]The loss of our life.

[00:01:48]I mourned his company.

[00:01:52]I mourned his love. I mourned his his laughter in the house.

[00:02:00]But when you're divorced and discarded, it's a different kind of grief and a different kind of mourning.

[00:02:13]Sure, you mourn the loss, but it attacks your identity.

[00:02:20]It attacks who you are.

[00:02:22]Why wasn't I good enough to be loved?

[00:02:27]Why wasn't I enough?

[00:02:30]You replay everything in your mind.

[00:02:34]What you did wrong.

[00:02:36]What you could have done differently.

[00:02:38]You question your worth.

[00:02:42]Why was I not chosen?

[00:02:47]Society, they understand the loss of a spouse. They understand being a widow.

[00:02:58]But they haven't quite figured out what do we do with people who are divorced?

[00:03:06]If you're someone who's watching this and you've been through a divorce, leave me a message below.

[00:03:15]Let me know you understand what I'm talking about.

[00:03:19]It's it's especially with women of faith.

[00:03:25]There's a shame that is attached to being divorced.

[00:03:32]And that hasn't changed even though most Sadly, most marriages end in divorced.

[00:03:39]There is still a shame that attaches to that, especially if you have been involved in a narcissistic relationship and you've been discarded.

[00:03:52]You feel like like you weren't good enough. Low self-esteem attacks your mind.

[00:04:02]When you're a woman of faith, the shame comes in.

[00:04:09]Because maybe your friends and your families, maybe they didn't support the marriage and the relationship that you got entangled into.

[00:04:20]Many of us get entangled into these relationships after a divorce, or excuse me, after the death of our spouses.

[00:04:31]Because we're vulnerable.

[00:04:35]And some of us end up divorced.

[00:04:38]Can you imagine that?

[00:04:41]You had to go through the loss of your spouse.

[00:04:44]Unimaginable pain.

[00:04:46]Then you get wrapped up in a relationship. You have no clue they're a narcissist.

[00:04:56]You're swept up in the love bombing.

[00:04:59]You think you're loved again, and the next thing you know, you're being discarded.

[00:05:05]That does a number on you, and the shame in front of the church friends and church world sometimes is unbearable. It really is. It happened to me.

[00:05:18]But it also happened to someone that I dearly love and know.

[00:05:24]She left her church.

[00:05:26]She left her congregation.

[00:05:31]The shame and the grief of that is quite unbearable.

[00:05:41]You mourn wanting to be with somebody.

[00:05:48]You're grieving because of who you became.

[00:05:52]Choices you made.

[00:05:56]Embarrassment in front of friends.

[00:06:02]Lost dreams.

[00:06:06]Yes, there is a difference and it is a deep difference between losing someone that you loved and they loved you because of death and being discarded in divorce.

[00:06:28]For me pain for me painfully it was worse.

[00:06:34]The pain that I went through, the grief that I went through was worse than the loss of my husband because I knew he loved me and adored me.

[00:06:48]I knew he wouldn't wouldn't have left me if he had a choice.

[00:06:55]But divorce it's heartbreaking.

[00:07:03]If you have went through something like this and you're walking through this valley I want you to know that you don't have to be ashamed.

[00:07:15]Shame wants to separate you from the arms of God.

[00:07:21]He is there waiting for you.

[00:07:23]Return to your first love.

[00:07:28]He will bind up your broken heart.

[00:07:33]He will heal you and restore you. He can bring the shattered pieces of your life and your dreams and your hope for a future.

[00:07:46]He can bring that back to life.

[00:07:49]Because he is a god of healing and restoration, and that is his business.

[00:07:57]I want to encourage you today that if that's you, leave me a message.

[00:08:04]Because when I pray daily, I go out on my prayer walks, I pray for my viewers who are asking for prayer. I pray for you that are widows. I pray for you that are hurting.

[00:08:17]That our father would heal and restore you and bring beauty for ashes.

[00:08:25]This is not the end of your story.

[00:08:28]This is not the end of the book.

[00:08:31]If you put your life in the hands of the master, he's still writing your story.

[00:08:38]As long as there's breath in your body, he is writing your story.

[00:08:45]Hold on to his hand. Be encouraged today, my friends, and don't let loose of him.

[00:08:53]Bless you. I look forward to seeing you again on my front porch.