Give Me 13 Minutes and I'll Fix Your Self-Sabotage

Added: 2026-05-19

[00:00:00]If you don't know where you want to be, it's probably not discipline, motivation, or even a strategy problem.

[00:00:04]Because after going from being completely broke at 21, taking drugs, partying, being completely out of control, then creating my dream life, moving to Mexico by 23, and becoming a millionaire by 20 eight, I've realized that it doesn't actually come down to the strategy really at all. It mostly comes down to the power of our thinking and our beliefs. The beliefs in which we have about ourselves, [music] the world, and our potential in the world could literally make or break us. difference between you and someone who has every single thing that you want to achieve is that they genuinely believe that they can do it, they will do it, they're worthy of having it, and it's going to be more painful to not have it than it will be to get it. So, I'm going to show you my three-step system to finding your biggest limiting beliefs, [music] how to understand them better, and then the one super ninja trick that I use on people without them even knowing that you can use today to destroy that limiting belief forever, so they never hold you back again. Now, if you're sitting here thinking, "Oh, but I've heard about limiting beliefs before. It's like self-development 101." I agree with you, but what's extremely important is I bet you don't really understand the true power of what one belief can have over ourselves. [music] So, usually when people have a limiting belief holding them back, like I'm not good enough or I can't do this, they try to fix it by pushing through with more motivation or more discipline or just becoming someone who they're not. This is why maybe building your business or working on your goals feels [music] so much harder than what it actually is. That might work a few times, but it's never going to work long-term and it's absolutely not [music] a sustainable approach because 95% of your behavior comes from your unconscious mind. The part that's running in the background without you even knowing about it. But the cool thing is the reverse is also true. When you remove the beliefs that are holding you back and you change them with new ones, then success becomes [music] effortless cuz there's a saying that goes like this, "The conscious mind is the goal setter, but the unconscious mind is the goal getter." If you've got beliefs that believe that achieving and getting and going through the pursuit of getting success [music] is going to be easy and effortless, then your mind is going to want to do it. But if you've got beliefs that say, "If I become really rich, then no one's going to like me," then your brain will associate becoming rich to getting something that it doesn't want, in other words, going through pain. And the mind will do [music] anything to avoid pain before it gains pleasure. So, there's this crazy study that scientists done on a pair of rats to find the power of real beliefs.

[00:02:10]And what they done is they put one rat into a jar of water and they let him just travel and travel and travel until he gave up and eventually drowned. The first rat lasted almost 15 minutes in the jar. The second rat, they put into the same jar of water. He traveled and traveled and traveled after 5 minutes he took the rat out, dried him off, let him run back around. They put him back into the water, traveled and traveled and traveled for 5 more minutes. They took him back out, dried him off, put him back in, and then done this several times until eventually they left the rat in the water until he just gave up and drowned. Let me ask you a question. How long do you think the second rat stayed in the jar of water for? Some say 1 hour, 5 minutes, 30 minutes, 10 hours.

[00:02:44]The answer is 60 hours. That's 240 times longer than the first rat. And the reason it stayed in there is because it had a belief that it was going to be saved. This, in my opinion, shows actually two really crazy things. Number one, the power of our beliefs, how one belief can actually make us 240 times more powerful, 240 times more of our potential, but it also shows us the power of hope. It shows us the power of that we attach a future version of us that and we have this belief and we know that one day it's actually going to be better and it's going to work out then it shows us how much more strength and courage it can actually give us to get through the shitty dark times. So, if one belief can give a rat 240 times more potential, what do you think one limiting is doing to you right now? So, now you understand your beliefs are either your biggest superpower or your biggest prison. Let me show you the exact three steps that I've helped tens and tens of thousands of people all across the world over the last decade to break free from their own limitations, rewire their mindset, and literally create a life and business of massive success. The first step is awareness. We cannot intervene with a world that we can't see. So, the first step is to become aware of something that is actually limiting us. And this is a lot harder than most people actually think.

[00:03:55]There's a good quote from Orison Swett Marden. It goes, "We question all of our beliefs except for the ones that we truly believe. Those we never even think to question." And that's the problem.

[00:04:04]Because the beliefs that we actually have are holding us back. They're the ones that feel so true, so normal, so much of it just feels like that's exactly who you are. So, you never actually stop to think and analyze, "Is that actually true?" [music] It just keeps running the show in the background. So, you shouldn't ask, "What are my limiting beliefs?" Instead, you look for patterns in your behavior.

[00:04:22]Because your behavior is just a byproduct of your emotions, your emotions are a byproduct of your thoughts. And after being in [music] this space and coaching tens and tens of thousands of people for the last 12 years around the world, I've seen four major patterns that become revealed in someone's behavior when they have some sort of major limiting belief that's blocking them. The first thing is self-sabotage. I see people get results and then they cut them back down. And they never actually seem to truly get ahead month after month, year after year. Every year is the same, the bank account same, health same, relationships the same. Everything just stays about the same. Maybe they have some periods of going up, but they'll always come back down. Number two is procrastination. [music] You know exactly what you need to be doing, but you just don't do it. The steps are there, you've got all the things that you need to actually put in place, but you just don't pull the trigger. The third is self-doubt. You're always in your head and you're overthinking, you're over-analyzing, and you're always taking yourself out of doing [music] things. And the last is unfulfillment. Maybe you've achieved some things through brute force, you've become kind of successful, but you just don't feel like you actually deserve it.

[00:05:17]You don't feel like you're good enough for it. You don't feel like you can be successful and happy. To give you an example, when I was 23, I became financially free. And I remember I got a plane to LA and I was in LA for about a month before I moved down to Mexico.

[00:05:28]Mexico has been my dream place, [music] that's where I wanted to go. A few days after landing, I felt so uncomfortable.

[00:05:34]I felt so almost in pain. I remember someone asked me and they said, "Oh my god, it must feel so good to be financially [music] free. How does it feel?" And my response was, "It feels like I just leased a Ferrari. Sure, I'm driving a Ferrari, but I feel like I don't own it. I feel like I'm fraud. And sure [music] enough, that's where the beliefs came up because I was starting to sabotage my success. I became successful financially, I built a nice business, I was free, [music] but deep inside I had beliefs that were still saying I'm too young to be successful.

[00:05:59]And because I believed this, I had this conflict happening within where I knew I was living a pretty cool life, but I didn't feel like I was worthy of actually enjoying it. So, I was sabotaging my own happiness, and I started to sabotage my business. And thankfully, after a few months of actually realizing this and doing the things I'm teaching you in this episode I decided to rewire my mind and completely think differently. So, 12 months after that, I I forexed my business, and 12 months after that, we had a business doing over seven figures a year. I had 6,000 customers in 19 countries around the world. We were doing pretty well. So, the first thing you need to do is to actually become aware of your patterns. When do you procrastinate? When do you pull back?

[00:06:32]When do you overthink? When do you doubt yourself? What's your favorite flavor?

[00:06:36]Either self-sabotager, the unfulfillment, the procrastinator, or the self-doubter. Start to analyze your thoughts when these moments come up. So, when you're in a pattern of procrastinating, become aware of the thoughts and stories you're telling yourself, and ask yourself how come you're not getting into action. What would happen if you did? What would happen if you didn't? And you're going to start to hear these different thoughts come up. You might hear things like, "I'm not smart enough." Or, "Money's hard to get." "No one's going to like me anyway." "What's the point?

[00:07:00]No one wants to do business with me."

[00:07:01]Or, "What if I get rejected?" "I'm not good enough." All of these different things might start to reveal themselves and come out to you, and this is where you've struck gold. So, become aware of what's actually kept you stuck, the environment, the people, the situations where that belief actually keeps showing up. And you don't need to fix the beliefs [music] just yet, you just need to see them. Because as Carl Jung said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it'll direct your life and you will call it fate." So, the sheer act of actually becoming aware of some of these limiting beliefs can sometimes reduce the power it actually has on you.

[00:07:31]Now, the mistake some people try to make is when they find one, they try to eliminate it straight away. [music] But, it doesn't work if you don't truly understand where it came from, what the root cause is, and how to really change it inside of your mind. That leads me into step two, which is understand. You see, you weren't born with these beliefs. No baby is born, comes out of the womb and say, "I'm not good enough.

[00:07:50]I'm not worthy. I'm not smart enough. I can't do this. What if I get rejected?

[00:07:52]I'm too old, too young, too white, too black, too whatever." All of these beliefs have been created inside [music] your life. Every single one of them come from someone or an experience you've had in your life. Maybe a teacher, a parent, a friend, an environment, or something that just happened to you when you were younger. And in that moment, your mind shaped a belief of what it actually meant. [music] And then that experience and that meaning come together and then you create a belief. So, the question you need to ask yourself is, "When did I decide [music] to blank?" So, my belief younger was, "I'm too young to be successful." And I asked myself, "When did I decide that I was too young to be successful?" And it took me back to a much earlier time in my life where I started to look at people and I started to have a perception at wealthy people and people became successful when they're in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.

[00:08:36]Because my version of success was watching someone got the corporate ladder for their whole life and invest and save money and then one day when they retired, then they can be successful. I had no frame of reference yet to think that someone who's 23 could be successful. So, I went back to the root cause of when I actually made that decision because all beliefs are decisions that you made at some point in your life. You can even ask, "Whose voice was it?

[00:08:57]>> [music] >> Was it actually yours? Was it someone else's? Did you borrow it from someone else?" And when you do this, you'll realize that it will probably take you back to one core moment, a certain experience, certain event in your life that when it happened in the moment, your mind made a meaning from it and an [music] emotion with the experience and made a belief. And you made a decision that from this moment onwards, this is how life will be. So, figure out where they first came from and figure out the event and when did you actually create that. Once you start to understand this, we start to begin the unraveling process of the strength that it has over your body. Which then leads me to the last step, which is super gangster, which is called reframe. See, once you're aware of these and you understand where they have come from, the final step is to reframe how you see it. The best sales people, the best negotiators, the best [music] debaters, and even the best lawyers have just mastered the art of reframing. They understand [music] that if they can change the perspective of how you see something, then the thing that you see will completely change in your mind. There's a quote by Wayne Dyer that he said, "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look [music] at change." So, when you view your beliefs through certain lenses, that's the perception of the world that you take on that you think is real. But, when you change the lens and you see it from different perspectives, everything that you see through it [music] changes.

[00:10:07]And before I tell you the steps to do this, let me give you a super easy example. You've probably heard people say this [music] before. What does fear mean? For most people, think, "Oh my god, that's frightening. I'm scared."

[00:10:15]But, then someone came up with a very cute acronym and said, "No, fear doesn't mean danger. Fear means face [music] everything and rise." And someone made that beautiful acronym, and then from then on people go, "Oh my god, yeah, I never thought of it like that. That's amazing." And then, bang, [music] changed their perspective of how they viewed the emotion. So, this is what I want you to do. And this is best doing standing up. So, if you're watching this right now, or you're listening to this, do it [music] in a moment where you've actually got a little bit of space for you, and do this standing up. So, step one is to notice that belief, the belief that you've already become aware of and that you understand a little bit more.

[00:10:45]What I want you to do is just to walk toward it in your mind until you can actually feel where the belief starts to come into your body. So, if you imagine you're standing there and you're closing your eyes and you're seeing the goal that you want to create, and then the belief will come up in front of you as to why you [music] can't achieve that goal. Take a step closer and let it really feel it as it comes into your body. Then, step two [music] is I want you to redefine the belief and redefine what it actually means. So, reshape what it means for you. So, here's an example.

[00:11:09]I had a belief that said, "I have to work hard to be successful." And I redefined the meaning and I said, "It's not about working hard to be successful, it's about working effectively to be successful. Otherwise, the most successful people on the planet would be farmers and concreteors." So, if you're effective, you'll succeed. So, you see what I did? I changed the meaning. I redefined what working hard actually is.

[00:11:30]I said, "It's not about working hard to be successful, it's about working effectively to be successful." So, think, it's not about this, it's about that. It's not this, the old thing you've thought, it's about this. Think of a new lens, a new perspective, a new meaning. So, sit there and come up with a new angle, a whole new perspective of what this could actually mean instead.

[00:11:46]And once you've done this, walk forward until you're inside of your goal. So, step forward and step into your goal now. And once you're there, I want you to do a 180 and literally turn around and face where you were standing previously. And I want you to speak your new beliefs out loud to yourself about your new current situation. So, now you've gone through this, you've achieved the goal, you're looking back to where you were standing, what are your new beliefs? Success is actually simple, success is easy, success is fantastic if I just stay effective and I work intelligently. It's got nothing to do with hard work, it's got everything to do with the intention and the effort that I set inside of my work. Whatever it might be for you. And once you're done, sit down and write down as many bits of evidence as you can think of that support this new belief because evidence builds and strengthens beliefs.

[00:12:29][music] The more bits of evidence, the more events that have happened in your life that you can recall that support this belief, >> [music] >> it's going to get stronger and stronger and stronger. So, that's exactly how you remove your limiting beliefs and change them with your new ones. Now, one of the things that will actually help you get to where you want to get to a lot faster is also by surrounding yourself with people who are also like you because the environment that you're in can also shape and change your beliefs. Your environment will either reinforce your new beliefs or they're going to pull [music] you straight back down to the old you. So, if you want, I've got a free community with other high-level entrepreneurial and ambitious people that are also working on becoming their best selves, you can hit the link below and join our free Dream Out Loud School community. And if you want to see my full breakdown on how I network with top entrepreneurs, CEOs, and [music] experts, then go ahead and watch this video next.