why I stopped upgrading everything.

Hinzugefügt: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]Something that I've noticed about myself is that I can walk into a room in our home that I have loved for years and after one afternoon of scrolling on Pinterest, suddenly I see everything that's wrong with it.

[00:00:15]The couch feels dated, the table feels small, the whole room feels like it needs something.

[00:00:24]And that feeling and that [music] itch, it doesn't go away when I buy the new thing.

[00:00:34]It just moves that feeling, that itch, that desire somewhere else.

[00:00:41]And I spent a really long time chasing it before I finally stopped >> [music] >> and really asked myself, "Where is this desire for constantly wanting more coming from?"

[00:00:57]So, if you're struggling with constantly wanting more, too, I hope that this video will help you to work through that, too. So, I want to take you back a little bit because the context matters in this scenario.

[00:01:11]For a really long time, ever since I've been a homeowner, I've always felt like our home is kind of like a project that was never finished.

[00:01:21]Not in [music] like a fun and creative way, but in a kind of really [music] unsettling, restless, nothing is ever quite right >> [music] >> kind of way. Like I'd get the new couch I'd been wanting, I feel really great about it for a few weeks, and then I'd see something online or I would walk into a friend's home and suddenly our couch didn't feel so great anymore.

[00:01:49]It felt like it was too big or maybe it was too small. It was definitely the wrong color. The style was out of trend, but it wasn't just the couch. It was the dining table or the rug or the nightstands. [music] There was always something that felt like it was holding my whole space back.

[00:02:12]Like if I could just get that one thing right, then the whole room would finally feel the way that I wanted it to feel.

[00:02:21]And so I kept buying things trying to get there.

[00:02:26]>> [music] >> Sometimes I'd return them. Sometimes I would keep them, but I was always looking for the next piece, the next thing that was going to pull it all together. And I really didn't think of it as a problem.

[00:02:40]I thought I just I don't know. I had high standards for my home. I thought that I was being intentional because I was trying to curate our space really carefully.

[00:02:52]But looking back, I wasn't curating anything.

[00:02:56]I was just consuming.

[00:03:01]It was always really quiet, but it was always very constant.

[00:03:06]>> [music] >> And it never got me anywhere.

[00:03:09]At least not anywhere productive. And the moment that things started to change for me was actually pretty ordinary.

[00:03:19]Um I had just gotten the new couches in our living room and I looked over at our media console.

[00:03:25]And instantly I felt like I needed a new one.

[00:03:30]>> [music] >> And so without even thinking about it, I jumped on my computer. I went to the Article website. I went to the West Elm website. And I'm looking at all of these media consoles.

[00:03:42]And before I knew it, I had one added to the cart and I was literally about to put in my card information to buy it.

[00:03:50]And something in me was like, "Hold on a minute.

[00:03:56]What are you doing?"

[00:03:59]It wasn't like in a harsh way. It was more just like a [music] really honest question. Like, "What problem are you going to solve by buying this very expensive media console right now?"

[00:04:15]And deep down, I knew that not only was I not going to solve any problems with this other than maybe satisfying my temporary dissatisfaction or my greed, but it was actually going to cause a lot more problems that [music] I didn't need.

[00:04:36]The media console that we have is fine.

[00:04:40]It looks fine. It does what it's supposed to do.

[00:04:44]There was nothing wrong with it.

[00:04:48]But I realized in that moment that once I got the new media console, it was just going to be something else that I was going to be discontent with something else.

[00:05:00]And that really scared me.

[00:05:03]Because if I couldn't be satisfied with something that we had worked to get and to pay for, what made me think that the next thing that I bought would be any different?

[00:05:19]And that question really sort of just cracked something wide open in me.

[00:05:26]And I started to pay attention in a way that I don't think I had before.

[00:05:31]I remember I kept coming back to this verse in Hebrews that says, "Keep your life free from the love of money and be content with what you have."

[00:05:42]Content [music] with what I have.

[00:05:46]So not content when I have that new media console.

[00:05:51]Not content when the living room is finally done.

[00:05:56]Content right now with what I already have. And I had read that verse before.

[00:06:04]But I don't know why it just hit differently that day.

[00:06:10]Because it felt less like a rule to live by, and it felt more like an invitation.

[00:06:16]>> [music] >> Like, what if you just stopped?

[00:06:20]What if you just decided that what you have is enough?

[00:06:26]I didn't necessarily have an answer for that in that moment, but I started asking the question.

[00:06:34]What if this is enough?

[00:06:37]So, I want to talk about the mechanics of this for just a minute, because I think that it helps to understand why we feel this way.

[00:06:45]It is not a character flaw. It's not a weakness. There are real forces working against our contentment every single day.

[00:06:56]And the biggest one, I think, is this manufactured dissatisfaction.

[00:07:02]>> [music] >> All of the companies in the world, especially home and furniture brands, clothing brands, they're really good at making you feel like your home, your space, your closet, fill in the blank, is lacking.

[00:07:21]And that is not an accident. That is the entire business model.

[00:07:27]If you feel content with what you have, you don't buy anything.

[00:07:33]So, the goal for them is to make sure you never quite feel content.

[00:07:40]New collections every season.

[00:07:42]trend cycles that move faster every year, ads that show you a version of a home that looks absolutely nothing like yours.

[00:07:53]And then, it makes you feel like yours is somehow falling short.

[00:07:59]And we absorb this constantly.

[00:08:03]On Instagram, on Pinterest, on YouTube.

[00:08:06]And after a while, it just becomes background noise. It's this low hum of not enough that we stop even noticing.

[00:08:19]The second thing is hedonic adaptation.

[00:08:23]>> [music] >> If you're not familiar, this is a psychological term for something that we all experience.

[00:08:29]It's when the new thing feels really amazing for a little while, but then it just becomes normal. Because our brains adjust. And what was exciting >> [music] >> just becomes ordinary. It just becomes the new normal. And then you're back to looking for the next thing that's going to bring that feeling back.

[00:08:51]>> [music] >> It's not because you're ungrateful, it's just how our brains work.

[00:08:57]The problem is when we keep chasing that feeling without realizing we're on a treadmill that never stops. We're chasing a goalpost that is constantly being moved forward.

[00:09:12]The new couch feels amazing for 2 weeks.

[00:09:16]Then it's just your couch, and you're already eyeing something else.

[00:09:20]There's a reason Proverbs 27:20 says the eyes of a man are never satisfied.

[00:09:27]>> [music] >> It was true thousands of years ago, and it is still holding up today. We were never going to shop our way to contentment. That's just not how we're wired.

[00:09:41]The third thing, and this one is the most personal, is that we use our homes to tell a story about who we are.

[00:09:52]Our space gets tied up in our identity in ways that we don't always acknowledge.

[00:09:59]When I wanted to upgrade the furniture, part of it was genuinely aesthetic, but part of it was what does this say about me to other people?

[00:10:11]Does this home reflect who I want to be?

[00:10:14]Does it look like the kind of home a person like me would have?

[00:10:19]And when the answer felt like no, I wanted to fix it.

[00:10:24]Not because the furniture was broken, but because something in me felt unsettled about my own story.

[00:10:33]And that is something that is worth sitting with and thinking through.

[00:10:39]Because no amount of furniture is going to resolve that problem. The biggest shift for me was learning to pause before I act on that itch.

[00:10:51]When I feel that pull, that I just need something for this room feeling, I've learned to get curious about it instead of just acting on it.

[00:11:04]I started to ask myself questions.

[00:11:06][music] The first thing that I ask is what problem will buying this actually solve?

[00:11:15]I'm not asking what do I want, but what specific problem needs solving by buying this?

[00:11:25]Is something broken? Is something genuinely not working for our family? Am I just bored? Did I just see something online that made me feel behind?

[00:11:37]That last question stops a lot of my purchases in and of itself.

[00:11:43]The second thing is where is this feeling coming from?

[00:11:48]Did I just spend an hour on Instagram?

[00:11:50]>> [music] >> Did I just walk through a beautifully styled store? Did I just visit someone's home that felt really put together?

[00:11:59]Because a lot of the time I'm not responding to my actual life.

[00:12:04]I'm responding to someone else's curated version of theirs.

[00:12:11]And I am here to tell you that is not a good reason to spend money.

[00:12:18]The third thing is that I wait. I try to wait at least a week, 30 days if I really want to be crazy.

[00:12:26]But I close the tab on my computer or my phone. I step away from it and I just let it sit. I go and do something else.

[00:12:37]And most of the time, like genuinely most of the time, I will forget about that thing completely.

[00:12:45]Or I'll just decide that [music] I don't really need it.

[00:12:50]That thing that felt so urgent fades.

[00:12:55]And I realize that I didn't really need it at all.

[00:12:59]I think Paul said it really well in Philippians 4, "I have a learned in whatever state I am to be content."

[00:13:08]I have said this before and I will say it again.

[00:13:11]>> [music] >> I love how he said I have learned.

[00:13:17]It's not something that came naturally to Paul and it is not something that comes naturally to us.

[00:13:23]It is something that we have to learn and we learn things by practicing it.

[00:13:30]So, that means that it's going to take time and repetition and probably some failure along the way.

[00:13:37]But, that's permission for all of us to still be in the process of learning.

[00:13:42]I am definitely still in that process, but I am a lot further along than I was.

[00:13:50]And the practice is what has changed things.

[00:13:55]There's a word that I keep coming back to, and that is the word enough.

[00:14:02]I'm actually working on a 7-day contentment devotional for you guys, and the title of that devotional is enough. I cannot wait to get it into your hands, so definitely be on the lookout for that. But, >> [music] >> we don't talk about enough very much.

[00:14:22]Our culture isn't really [music] built around that idea. Everything is about more. It's about better, it's about upgraded, it's about improved. [music] But, enough is actually a really powerful place to live from.

[00:14:39]When I started to ask, is this enough >> [music] >> instead of what's next?

[00:14:46]I started to feel really settled.

[00:14:50]Not in like a resigned or like I just give up kind of way, but in [music] this really genuinely peaceful way.

[00:15:00]Our furniture didn't change, our home didn't change, but the way that I moved through our home did change.

[00:15:11]I started noticing things that I genuinely loved about our space instead of constantly cataloging what was missing.

[00:15:20]The way that the [music] light comes in in the morning.

[00:15:24]There is nothing better than when I lift up our blinds in the morning and the sunlight just pours in.

[00:15:32]The table that we have had family dinners around for years.

[00:15:37]The couch that has held a lot of really good conversations.

[00:15:42]Those things have weight [music] that no new piece of furniture could ever manufacture.

[00:15:49]In Matthew 6, we see Jesus say, "Life is more than food and the body is more than clothing."

[00:15:58]It's about more than things. It's about more than stuff.

[00:16:03]And that's the whole point.

[00:16:05]I know that we think intellectually, >> [music] >> but there's a really big gap between knowing something and actually living like [music] it's true.

[00:16:16]When I started actually believing it, not just nodding in agreement, not just putting it on a mug, but living like my life was genuinely more than what my home or my wardrobe looked like, I promise you that is a shift that changed everything [music] for me. And I think it'll change everything for you, too.

[00:16:44]I want to say one more thing before we wrap this up because I think that there's something underneath all of this that just doesn't [music] get talked about enough.

[00:16:53]The upgrade cycle is absolutely exhausting.

[00:16:59]Not just financially, although it definitely is financially exhausting, but it is mentally and emotionally exhausting.

[00:17:10]When you're always looking for what's next, you're never fully here.

[00:17:16]You're never fully present [music] in your actual life.

[00:17:20]You're always living in this imagined version of your home or your wardrobe or your life [music] where everything is finally the way it's supposed to be. And I put that in air quotes.

[00:17:35]And that future never actually arrives.

[00:17:38]Because every time that you get close, the target moves.

[00:17:43]Minimalism at its core isn't really about owning less.

[00:17:48]It's about being present to what you already have.

[00:17:52]And it's about putting your attention back from what could be >> [music] >> and returning it to what is.

[00:18:00]And for me, that is a spiritual practice just as much as it's a practical one.

[00:18:06]It's choosing gratitude over appetite.

[00:18:10]It's trusting that God has provided us enough.

[00:18:13]>> [music] >> Not because I'm settling, but because I actually believe it. And that is a daily choice that we have to make.

[00:18:21]>> [music] >> And some days are easier than others.

[00:18:25]But it's a choice that I keep making.

[00:18:28]Because what's the alternative?

[00:18:31]The restless, always upgrading, never arriving.

[00:18:37]Yeah, I [music] I don't want to go back to that.

[00:18:40]So, here's what I want to leave you with.

[00:18:42]Look around your home right now or your closet or whatever it is that you struggle with. Not through the eyes of a scroll session or a catalog or someone else's Instagram.

[00:18:54]I just want you to look at it.

[00:18:57]What do you have that's actually working?

[00:19:01]What has served your family well?

[00:19:05]What has been there through seasons of your life that no new purchase could replicate?

[00:19:11]What would it feel like to just decide this is enough for now?

[00:19:19]You don't have to get rid of everything.

[00:19:21]You don't have to never buy anything again.

[00:19:24]You just have to stop letting the upgrade cycle decide what enough looks like for you.

[00:19:31]Contentment is not a personality type.

[00:19:34]It's not something that people just naturally have.

[00:19:37]It's a practice, a daily and sometimes difficult, but always worthwhile practice.

[00:19:47]And you can start today.

[00:19:49]Right where you are, with exactly what you have.

[00:19:54]I hope that this video was encouraging to you, and I'll see you in the next one.