🚨 He's watching you struggle like he doesn't love you‼️#loyalwomen #healingfromtoxicrelationships

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]A man who can sit back and watch you struggle, that man's not confused.

[00:00:05]He's comfortable. He loves exactly where he is because [music] a man who can look you dead in the face tells you he loves you and still watch you break, bend, and survive every day without stepping in, that's not love.

[00:00:20]That's a man who's so hell-bent on convenience. So, the real question is, how are you so okay with this, right?

[00:00:28][music] Another question is, how did he become so okay with this? Because I can never just watch my woman struggle and not step in. That's something only an enemy would do because this is what I want you to understand today. A man who truly loves you is not going normalize your exhaustion.

[00:00:47]He's not going to study your struggles and study what you're capable of handling and just let you handle it all by yourself. No man who loves you and values you and is building life with you would do something like that. The only type of man that would do something like this is a man that's benefiting from you. That's a man who can't survive on his own.

[00:01:08]But because he got you, right?

[00:01:10]>> [music] >> Because he got you, he know he can survive. And that's a dangerous position to be in, to put yourself in a place where a man is surviving off you. That's a crazy position to put yourself in. And once you're in that kind of position, it's hard to get out of that position because he's normalized your exhaustion, your survival mode. Because he's going to tell you, "Hey, well, hey, that's just how life is, you know?" He'll convince you that you should be loyal to struggle. He'll convince you that you should be loyal to being in survival mode. And you know how he convinces you to do all this [ __ ] It's because at the very beginning he'll compliment your strength. He'll make you seem like, you know, you a strong woman, you got it, you know, I'm so proud of you. He'll gas up your whole strength. Now, don't get me wrong, the right will do the same thing.

[00:02:02]The difference is is look at what the man does after he compliments your strength. Does he become your support system or does he depend on your support? That's the difference. Watch what a man does when he compliments your strength. Does [music] he get too needy or does he step in when you have needs to be met, right? [music] Pay attention to what he does when he compliments your strength cuz I know deep down inside you're going to be like, you know what?

[00:02:30]You're going to feel all butterfly and [ __ ] when he tells you, you know, >> [music] >> I'm proud of your strength.

[00:02:36]You know, you did phenomenal today like I don't know how you do it.

[00:02:42]And you feel that level of validation, right? You feel seen, you feel heard, and you feel like, wow, he [music] really sees me. No, sure he see you. He sees what he can depend on. He sees what you can tolerate. He sees what you can survive. That's what he sees because a man who truly values you will see the same thing but still step in without you having to ask. That's the difference, right? But instead, you got a man who's watching you adapting to stress. You got a man who's watching you overwork for free. You got a man who's watching you overgive more than you have in your cup to give and he's so comfortable with it.

[00:03:22]He's comfortable with you figuring it out. He's comfortable with you doing it all alone by yourself. He's comfortable with the version of you that don't depend on him to do [ __ ] for you. And over time, you start thinking this is normal. Like I said, you normalizing this behavior. It's almost as if you start thinking that being tired all the time, being overwhelmed all the time, being stretched so thin all the time was just part of loving someone. No, it's not.

[00:03:51]No, it's not. That is called survival, not love. The moment you have to survive a man, you're not building with him.

[00:04:00]That is not love. Love is not survival.

[00:04:04]You got to wake up, sis, because love is support. Love is partnership.

[00:04:09]>> [music] >> Love is someone seeing you drowning and they jumping in to save you, not on the shore to watch you struggle. Any man that can watch you drown while he's on the shore living a comfortable life, that is your enemy. I want you to paint this visual inside your head right now.

[00:04:26]You're in an ocean, right? You're drowning and you got a man that has a boat that can save you.

[00:04:33]But he's he's not even reaching out his hand to pull you up.

[00:04:38]That's the man you're building life with. Until you paint the reality of who this man is, you will constantly be in survival mode. You won't get out of there and I know saying this is easier said than done, but this is why you got to do the deep work. This is why you have to focus on yourself. This is why you have to prioritize your cup, sis.

[00:05:01]You're pouring from an empty cup.

[00:05:03]Anytime you're giving more than you're receiving, you're in survival mode. A relationship shouldn't add more stress than it adds peace. I will always say this, but no relationship is 100% peaceful. If a relationship is 100% peaceful, >> [music] >> chances are it's a lot of hidden stuff in there because you need that little 30% of stress because stress equals growth, stress equals communication, stress equals a little bit of friction so that we can grow together, right? But no relationship should be 70% stress and 30% peaceful. It should be the opposite.

[00:05:40]And when you're in survival mode with a man that you're building life with, you're never at peace. You're always thinking about the next thing. You're always so anxious cuz you can't depend on him for [ __ ] You're seeing how much he's unreliable. You're seeing how much you can depend on him. You're seeing how how he's so comfortable with you being in survival mode. Now, you got to ask yourself, what the hell you going to do about this?

[00:06:06]Because you've tried communicating.

[00:06:08]You've tried your best to have him see what you're going through, but still he chose to watch you struggle. He might pitch in here and there every now and then because that's how he's giving you crumbs. Enough crumbs to stay, not enough reasons to leave, but also not enough reasons to not doubt yourself.

[00:06:30]So, now you got to ask yourself, is this the life that I want to live for the rest of my life? And I know sometimes my content may come off as like, damn, Danielle, you just telling us all to walk away from our men. I'm not telling you to walk away from your man. If you had a good man, I'm not telling you to walk away from him. If you had a good man that's showing up for you, that's loyal to you, that treats you like you deserve, I'm not telling you to walk away from him. I'm inspiring you to walk away from somebody who don't give a damn about you because the more you settle for a man who don't give a damn about you, you eventually don't give a damn about you. You eventually don't care about your best life. You eventually put all your dreams, your goals, your aspirations, your best self on hold for somebody who don't give a damn about you. That's who I'm telling you to walk away from. I'm not telling you to walk away from a man who gives a damn about you. I'm not telling you to walk away from a man who shows up for you, who's understanding, who's compassionate, who's always there for you when you need him. I'm not telling you to walk away from a man who's capable of loving you correctly. I'm telling you to walk away from a man who's watching you drown and you're seeing this. There is tears in your eyes. You're watching this man watching you drown and you're still [music] there thinking that he may be one day he might show up for you. That's the man I'm telling you to walk away from because how many times have you laid in bed cried your ass to sleep? The only reason you fell asleep it was cuz your eyes were burning [music] wondering how are you stuck on building life with a man who doesn't value you so much so that he could watch you struggle, that he could watch you being survival mode and not put himself in a position to take the load off your shoulders. What kind of man does that?

[00:08:15]And another question to ask yourself is what kind of woman are you to settle [music] for that? Cuz until you get to that point, sis, you ain't leaving. You ain't walking away. For those of you who did, kudos to you, but there's a lot of you who are struggling with that. And until you change your identity, until you shift who you are, until you work on healing the wound inside of you that is settling for this crap, you'll be in struggle for a long time. Ask yourself this, how many more years of this can you handle? Until then, I don't know what else to tell you. If you're going through this right now, sis, drop a heart in the comments. Share your story. Maybe letting it out in the comment section will somehow help give you clarity because as you writing your story, you'll see it in real time. Maybe sharing what you're going through will help another sister understand what she's going through.

[00:09:16]Anyways, until the next message, much love and peace.