"If it's true that it's better late than never, then you edged your toes right up to never's line...

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]If it was a blessing in disguise, then the blessing's disguise was one of those trench coats full of watches, except every watch ticked with a memory of something you wish you'd never have to have seen.

[00:00:16]In this one, it's past 1:00 and he's puking into the sink. In this one, it's midnight and his breath barely slips out of his mouth. In this one, it's 10:00 a.m. bright and your sister's husband has just left to get you all coffee and you almost didn't come today because it was his first day in the hospice ward and you thought you might let him get settled in and you'd already taken off a lot of work, but you came because your sister called, so you were there for the most important moment of your life and the last one of his.

[00:00:49]If it's true that it's better late than never, then you edged your toes right up to never's line, played chicken with never, kissed never's lips until you'd almost gone too far, but no, you were there and you were 24 and he was six years into his diagnosis and you would have let never choke you to death for at least five and a half of those years, but it didn't.

[00:01:13]And if it's true that when it rains, it pours, then when a father dies, he dies a thousand small ways.

[00:01:22]Nobody cares if the tree in the forest makes a sound, but he did and you couldn't help but catalog each one, each small jewel of pain, each whimper and gasping laugh until you had gathered every single last sound he had in him and he had no choice but to die in silence.