Some People Need You Broken To Feel Important

Added: 2026-05-10

[00:00:01]One of the coldest realizations you could ever have in life is realizing that some people ain't in your life to actually help you heal.

[00:00:12]They really have no desire to see you heal. You see, they need you in a broken state. They need you insecure. They need you having self-doubt.

[00:00:24]They need you to be somewhat emotionally dependent on them.

[00:00:29]Because when they find somebody kind of like in that broken and that vulnerable state, it gives individuals like this a sense of power.

[00:00:40]It gives them a sense of power.

[00:00:42]You know, some people really don't know how to connect through love. If you ever noticed that some people can't connect through love, they can only connect through control.

[00:00:55]Some people can only connect through control.

[00:00:59]And if you ever notice, the moment you really start to come to grips with everything and you start your healing process, the moment you start to heal, the moment you become more disciplined, the moment you become more confident, when you start setting boundaries and you you start finding peace for within yourself, they start to act different. People will start to act real different. Suddenly they become distant. Suddenly they try to stop supporting you. Hell, they had to stop supporting you flat out. They will pull their support back because some people were comfortable with that version of you that needed them to survive emotionally.

[00:01:44]That version of you that was broken, that version of you that was looking at them just confiding in them for everything. They was used to that. They love that version. But once you stop bleeding on somebody, you stop becoming easy to control, you stop becoming easy to manipulate, it all goes out the window. And they can't handle that because some people, they need to feel needed. They love to feel needed.

[00:02:12]That's how they validate themselves.

[00:02:14]Some people are validated by feeling like everybody needs them or somebody just need them just need them around, need them there to to give them gas money, to give them food money, to to help pay bills.

[00:02:28]They love to feel needed.

[00:02:31]And that's why they surround themselves with broken people and people that need fixing because it gives them a sense of purpose.

[00:02:39]It give these type of people a sense of purpose.

[00:02:44]It gave them some kind of emotional power over vulnerable people or over a broken person. It gave them a sense of power.

[00:02:54]And it's lightweight disgusting if you sit back and think about it because people like this will they don't never want to see you really make it. They don't they don't ever want to see you come up out of your situations you might be in. They love it when your circumstances and your odds is stacked against you.

[00:03:13]They love it when you calling them and and and everything ain't going ain't nothing going right.

[00:03:18]They love to hear the bad news. They will call you. They will double back to double check to make sure your circumstances are still messed up.

[00:03:28]And you normally see this out of a person that has this like savior complex about themsel. they have this this savior complex or you'll see this kind of behavior come out of a a controlling partner like somebody that's been with somebody that's that's real controlling over them. They conform to everything that they partner tells them to conform to.

[00:03:51]They always got to double check with their partner and see how they partner feel and if they partner going to um if their partner going to authorize this or I got to see how so and so feels about it or so and so might get mad. I got to see what so and so says, man, [ __ ] so and so.

[00:04:07]You ever notice how some people go into panic mode when you stop depending on them?

[00:04:15]When you start to become self-sufficient, when you stop depending on this controlling individual, they go into panic mode because lightweight, they get threatened. When [clears throat] you start your healing process, it threatens their identity that they built on having control over you.

[00:04:34]Their their whole identity was built around the control they had all over you. That emotional control, that financial control, whatever whatever type of control they had, once you don't have to depend on them no more for nothing, it threatens them. They feel like they have no purpose no more.

[00:04:56]Once you learn how to stand on your own too, and you you don't you no longer need that emotional crutch from this type of person, they go into panic mode.

[00:05:08]They will then try to distance theirel from you. They will tell you that you acting funny. They will tell you that you acting brand new.

[00:05:18]This is the mind game these type people play. You see, cuz people love it when you struggling.

[00:05:26]People will check on you every day. When your life falling apart, when everything is falling apart, they will check on you every day just to have that information, just to have that tea to carry back to whoever that might know y'all or somebody didn't told about you. They want to take that tea and carry it back to that person. You the topic of discussion in the family, at the job, in the break rooms, in the locker rooms, you are the you are the topic of discussion. Late night pillow talks, you are the topic of discussion. And the moment you pull that back from them, they going to panic mode. Now they don't got nothing to talk about.

[00:06:09]These same people that will will try to fake help you will complain the whole time they helping you. Complain to everybody else. Yeah, I had to help someone. I had to give them $20 today. I really didn't have it or they needed food. So, I went to the grocery store and bought $200 worth of food. I really didn't have it. I I really hope they get their life together. But being your face smiling, oh, it's no problem. I'm here to help. That's what That's what friends are for. That's what family's for.

[00:06:36]But they complaining the whole time. And at the same time, they feel a sense of power. They feel validated because they have helped you.

[00:06:46]But once you start improving your life, once you start getting focused, once you start hitting the gym, once you start eating better, working on your diet, working on your self-care, uh getting your hair cut well groomed, getting your hair done, ladies, getting them nails done, um getting those bikini waxes, whatever y'all like to do for y'all, for y'all therapeutic, your therapeutic thing, whatever it is that y'all like to do, once you start practicing self-care, once you start praying more, you notice these would disappear.

[00:07:16]You know, excuse my language. I've been working on this, but it's almost like flies on [ __ ] People love it when your [ __ ] a mess. Everybody flock to the chaos. Everybody flock to the [ __ ] But no sooner than all that's over with. Once no sooner than you you clean up and you clean yourself up, get the smelling good, looking good, everybody disappear.

[00:07:40]Everybody scatter.

[00:07:43]It's wild to me because your chaos was the glue that was holding that situationship together. Your chaos was the glue that held all of it together. Now that they don't got no chaos, now that they don't got no mess, now they don't got no [ __ ] Those same people go running. Nowhere to be found.

[00:08:04]Cuz these people have benefited from your low self-esteem. They benefited from your confusion. They benefited from your loneliness. They benefited off your insecurity, your lack of boundaries, but your healing. The moment you start to heal, that changed everything.

[00:08:21]And once you know your worth, once you know your worth, access becomes limited.

[00:08:29]Access becomes limited.

[00:08:33]I say this to say, man, keep doing you.

[00:08:36]Stay focused. Keep your head on the swivel. Stay prayed up. No matter what it is that you going through, the Most High will sustain you. Long as you doing the work, as long as you putting forth the effort, everything going to fall into place. It might look ugly right now. It might look like it's no hope, no way out of your situation.

[00:08:57]But if you remain faithful and steadfast in your faith, it's going to be all right, man. Let me know what y'all think about this video.

[00:09:06]Shout out to my little brother, Rail the Reaper. Shout out to everybody that supports the channel. I appreciate y'all. Raymond Woods, Jana from New Jersey, big shout out to you. And everybody else, big wink all y'all. Much love, honor, and respect. I'm out. I catch y'all in the next one. Peace.

[00:09:24]>> From dust [music] till dawn, I turn my speakers on. Why they want to play with the king? I told [music] my city and you won't see the sun. They be talking loud but never been where the creatures hunt.

[00:09:35]Can't believe [music] this dream. So while your eyes closed, we're running through the pain. Look at me and now my strides go. Every single scar on my skin, another milestone. Bouncing in the [music] dark. Came off shining with the lights on. Uh look, but I don't think they listening.

[00:09:49]>> I don't think they listening. I don't think they heard me. I don't think they heard me. [music] I don't think [singing] they listening.