I’m Now Transforming My Whole Garden!

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome back to the second channel, the Mash Brady Show.

[00:00:07]Ah, okay. So, today it's actually starting. It's happening. We're getting the digger delivered. Ah, we're getting the digger. We're getting the digger delivered like at 9:00 a.m. Okay, it's now 10:00 p.m. and it's not turned up yet, but it is coming. So, today we officially start digging. Okay, we have already started the pool cuz like you say, like you see.

[00:00:35]Hopefully that's not still on fire.

[00:00:46]WHAT A STUPID INTRO.

[00:00:47]>> We're good. It's out. So for everyone laughing and pointing and saying, "Haha, he's never having a swimming pool.

[00:00:56]Oh [ __ ] Anyway, yeah, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, why is my phone on the floor? Today is officially the first day of the dig. So, lock in, hit subscribe.

[00:01:10]Oh, hit subscribe because we're going to be doing lots of cool [ __ ] So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, all I have got to say. Let's get straight.

[00:01:25]Look at this [ __ ] HERE WE GO.

[00:01:34]YES. In his hand speaks the Jesus.

[00:01:42]>> Right. In terms of the actual pool, what's happening?

[00:01:46]Don't know. I don't know. I fully left it up to me dad. So, we Oh, the end of theing bow's broken off. Uh, I'll leave it up to my dad, but he's pretty certain he knows the man. The guy that's giving us the digger today is just giving us for free. I don't know how my dad knows him, but I think he knows him in some capacity.

[00:02:06]So scared about hitting my arm. Anyway, lots of stuff to do today. But as you all know, we have to start the day in an awful way that I hate. Okay, I don't want to do this.

[00:02:25]We're going to do some weights. [ __ ] hate this [ __ ] But it does when I'm finished, I feel great and I'ming really enjoying and glad that I did it and I feel better.

[00:02:35]But I'm still a bit achy and I don't want to. Please don't make me do it.

[00:02:40]Should just do chest again. Just keep doing chest until I can I reckon today.

[00:02:44]Let's do the 88 kg again today. Somebody in the comments said I held it too low.

[00:02:48]If I just went down and up, they reckon I could have done it. So, let's justing do that. Chest. Chest. And the reason that I bought the the bench press is because it's the only exercise I actually enjoy enjoy doing.

[00:03:03]Oh, no chance, mate. I shouldn't be shouldn't be doing chest.

[00:03:13]Rest day. Should it be rest day? You do have to have rest days, don't you?

[00:03:18]Although we didn't do anything yesterday, so does that count as a rest day? I'm in too much pain, bro. I'm in too much pain. But I've got a camera on me. If there was no camera, you'd best believe I would be inside with my feet up, boys. Let's just do something in it.

[00:03:32]Let's Let's do something. Let's just do a couple of bicep workouts and get me get the blood flowing. Get the hard.

[00:03:42]saying just a couple of these be in shape in no time.

[00:03:49]No time at all. As in literally will never be in shape.

[00:03:53]Zach is a [ __ ] I'm going to him up in a [ __ ] I'm going to smoke his so big it's going to go hard and blow in his face.

[00:04:08]Right. Ed, can you make it look like I've done like 100 of them? into this [ __ ] >> Right, I'm going to finish this [ __ ] off and then we'll uh hopefully have a digger turning up. Although, we might just have Let's go get breakfast. Let's go get some breakfast. And my dad ising buzzing for the digger. He's so excited.

[00:04:29]So, he's going to wanting first dibs and first play.

[00:04:36]A!

[00:04:40]WOO! That really hurt.

[00:04:44]So, I'm going to start a new challenge, right? Where if I can pop all seven of these balls without missing one one shot, then I'll give somebody £100.

[00:04:55]Also, I really want to buy a brand new pool queue, but I can't justify buying a new pool queue if I can't evening use the ones that I've got. Obviously, my logic is the reason I keep missing the shots is because of the bloody pool cues. But really, it's my shooting. So, if I can pot all of these balls in like all the reds, then the black without missing a ball, I'll give somebody 100 quid. And like I say, I'll then get to treat myself to a new new queue.

[00:05:25]Oh, all brilliant. It's not looking like anyone's getting anything from me today, Dan. Absolutely.

[00:05:34]can't [ __ ] play. Right. Anyway, because Kev is completely deathly afraid of frogs and he wouldn't even open his birthday card yesterday because he was convinced there was going to be a picture of a frog on it. But we have got him to say that he wants to face his fears. So, what is the best way that we could start infiltrating some frogs into his life and subliminally making him think frogs are okay? Right?

[00:05:57]I'm thinking pictures of frogs in the barber shop. Something like that.

[00:06:02]Anyway, but what I do have is I have the skeleton of a frog, which I think if you're deathly afraid of frogs, that doesn't really look like a frog, but technically it is. So, I'm going to take that in and we're going to show that to Kev and see how the head literally just fell off. It literally just broke. I just broke it.

[00:06:24][ __ ] sake. Oh, I swear this wasn't even that cheap, was it?

[00:06:29]Oh, and it's all taped together.

[00:06:32][ __ ] hell.

[00:06:35]HOW DO I justing break everything?

[00:06:37]Everything I touch breaks, right? We're not going to do that cuz I've broke it and I want to fix it. I also I just bought an Xbox 360 and Halo 3, the greatest game ever made in history.

[00:06:49]Okay, obviously these are twoing massive contenders, but for me, Halo 3 got me into gaming. So, I've bought an Xbox 360. I'm hoping it's still possible to play online. Obviously, I don't have an Xbox Live subscription, and I don't know if the servers are still up, but if they're not, is it possible if we get 12 Xboxes together, we can sit around a room with 12 TVs and we can play together? Cuz I want to slash man up with a energy sword, bro. All right, it's been a bit too long. And then finally, the last thing that I've bought that I want to show you guys is my new lung. This is not aing advert. I paid over 300 quid for this. It's basically a mini scuba diving tank, right? I've not connected it all up, but imagine you pump it up yourself with the pump. So, you compress all the air in there yourself. And then you literally put it in your mouth and you can breathe underwater for 10 minutes. I feel like nobody else thinks this is as cool as I do. 10 minutes underwater, no breathing.

[00:07:47]No. Well, no. Coming up for breath.

[00:07:50]Sounds like the greatest invention of all time ever. Obviously, I know what you're thinking. Well, when do you need to go under water for 10 minutes? Don't know because I've never been able to go under water for 10 minutes. So, I've never [ __ ] known I Dan. But I do think we should go to the seaside now.

[00:08:04]I've got this. We'll take it to the ocean and we'll go scuba diving and let's see if you can scuba dive in the UK with no license for 300 quid cuz that's what this cost me. I think it was about 307 quid. Um, but the only problem with it is, as you can see, that's just a biging hole.

[00:08:23]Anyway, um, and you have to pump up yourself. So, if that lasts for 10 minutes, compressed air, how long is it going to take to pump up? Probably an hour, to be honest with you. You seen that scuba diving tank?

[00:08:37]>> You can fill that with that air gun pump. That's big enough.

[00:08:40]>> What air gun pump?

[00:08:41]>> The air gun pump that I lent you that you is in the house somewhere.

[00:08:45]>> [ __ ] But yeah, so we'll go down to the seaside next week and we'll go scuba diving on a budget.

[00:08:53]But for now, the digger is well.

[00:08:59]>> Scuba diving on a budget is not something you should do.

[00:09:03]>> Yeah. Skydiving on a budget. I've made my own parachute. We're going to test it out for the first time. The digger is not coming.

[00:09:10]>> Well, no. Well, as long as you you could Well, you could dive deep, can't you? I suppose >> just put your head under the water. See if you can breathe. That's all you got to do to start with.

[00:09:21]>> Yeah. But anyway, we're we're gonnaing test it out. Speed just streamed on the water. I'ming vlogging under water, Dan.

[00:09:28]So, let's go and get some breakfast, Dan. Right, let's see his break off.

[00:09:36]You can buy Paul Q. You can give us 100 quid. Right, let's go and get some breakfast then, Dad.

[00:09:45]Right, we're back at arguably one of the best breakfast. I hate that it beeps. My car beeps at me. Um, arguably one of the best breakfast and we have our very special guest today. Ready?

[00:09:59]Yes.

[00:10:01]A lot of people do ask, "Where's the [ __ ] dog gone? Your dog's just disappeared. He gets looked after while I'm filming because I I can't always be responsible for him. I'm not the most responsible man. So, I need help looking after him while I'm uh when I'm filming.

[00:10:16]Also, there's lots of like motorbikes and shouting and banging and throwing and I mean I don't know. We took him we took him to the um to the shotgun shooting before cuz obviously the logic being start him off at the gun range as he's younger and he'll get used to the bangs and stuff but cuz he's a gun dog.

[00:10:36]That's what he was bred for. I don't know. He's just a bit of a bit of a cowardly dog really. Aren't you Reggie?

[00:10:41]You're a good boy though. He's the absolute best dog in the whole wide world. I love him so much. Oh, my alarm's going off. Sorry, Reggie.

[00:10:49]Reggie. Reg. Right, let's get you out of here, Rege. Good boy.

[00:10:55]Hey. Right, we're back at Compamigos.

[00:11:00]Last time we came here, right, I was like, breakfast is so nice. I was like, but why why have they um Yes, boys. I was like, why have they put um pork belly on the menu instead of bacon?

[00:11:11]toing fry it. Puting bacon on the menu.

[00:11:14]Um, and they watched the video and they've put bacon on the menu. So, I Hey, Reg. [ __ ] Reg. I think it's cool that we have that I have the power to go to a restaurant and Hey, Reg. All the other dogs barking at Reg. He don't give a Hey, he doesn't want to play, Reg.

[00:11:30]Anyway, we're here at Compigos because like I say, we've got Oh, Reg, stop pissing everywhere, mate. Isn't it weird that you like everyone's just happy for dogs to just piss anywhere? But if I get my [ __ ] out and start pissing on the floor, apparently it's aing problem.

[00:11:45]Yeah, we've come here because I thought let's get the dog out at least. I mean, at least here we can sit out the front.

[00:11:51]Bring the doggo out. Oh, I could even get some ice cream after, bro. I'm about it. Oh, such aing nice spot. I'm still considering theing the canal boat series to be honest with you. Right, Re, come here. You going to sit down? Sit down.

[00:12:07]You're going to be a good boy. You're going to be a good boy. Yeah. Yeah, you are. Good boy. Uh, yeah. Still considering the canal boat series, but I'm considering maybe just renting one for a week and it means I could go live on a [ __ ] canal boat for a week and just go on a ultimate pub crawl around the whole country. But don't quote me on that because you know what I'm like. I have an idea and as of right now, I've got a swimming pool to build. Anyway, let's get some breakfast. Zach, you sit down, rest your [ __ ] feet then, and let's uh see if they got the bacon right this time, Dan. Right. So, I ordered Yeah. I ordered you the iced tea, and I ordered me the ice latte. And you know what they said?

[00:12:47]We haven't got any ice.

[00:12:49]They're going to do them anyway. So, they said, "We'll just serve it, but without the ice." So, hopefully that means we'll just get loads more. Oh, Reg, man. They've even got biscuits on the side for Reg. Always aing good sign, Dan. Ain't it? You like that? You like that, Ra? I love you. I love you. He's such a happy dog. He's literally just the most excited, happy dog at all times. That tail is just always wagging.

[00:13:12]Right. Anyway, let's see what this breakfast thing then, Dad. Breakfast review with the R.

[00:13:18]Good boy. Right, they have they've absolutely smashed it. It's the thickest cut bacon of all time.

[00:13:26]Well, it's defin Oh, it's pang bacon, actually. When people say the fat's not the best bit and you're just saying that if it's cooked properly, it actually is the best bit. They did say they said we're going to add the bacon.

[00:13:39]They said but we're keeping the beans cuz remember I said you should have hines beans and they've kept um their Mexican five bean mix which I still don't like. So we've got a pair of gay eggs, couple of poached eggs. Slap them straight on the [ __ ] They don't look like they're going to burst. Oh, only a perfect burst. Oh, that one's not. Anyway, bit of that, bit of sausage, bit of bacon, fold it in half.

[00:14:10]The ultimate breakfast carb, Dan.

[00:14:20]No, legit, honestly, this definitely is one of the best breakfast in Derby. And again, best thing about this restaurant motherucker, bro, if you don't know, get to know cuz I promise you it's absolutely smack. And they normally do the potatoes here. That's like a thousand layers. This they didn't have any. So, I've got what look like roast potatoes on my breakfast, which again is a bit of a let down. Tomato looks absolutely fire.

[00:14:57]That's good. Yeah, it doesn't disappoint. Once again, great views, great breakfast, great baker and a greating day, Dan. I'ming praying this digger actually turns up and that I'm going to be fully digging my garden up today. And realistically, how long is it going to take to dig? A day? Two days? I don't know. But the problem is we don't know how big the pool is yet.

[00:15:19]So, we're just going to stop digging from the inside out. And that way we can just we'll we'll dig the size of the pool we want and then if we have toinging make it bigger or smaller or whatever then we'll deal with that as as it comes. Right. All the best big up compigos once again.

[00:15:35]Fantastic breakfast. Great people. And they bring you can um bring your dog and they've got dog treats on the side. Know what I'm saying? And this ice black is actuallying phenomenal. I like to moan and I've actually got nothing to moan about. So n out of 10 today.

[00:15:51]Let's go and dig up some garden then Dan.

[00:15:55]>> We are here at the Chinese field in Willington. You might think why the is it called the Chinese field. Who the is popping out of these bushes? Just in that corner is the Willington Chinese.

[00:16:07]Great Chinese by the way. Um so I thought we'll come here and have a little walk cuz I've got a joke story about this. I'm pretty sure this is like a changing rooms if I remember rightly.

[00:16:15]It's like a changing room public toilet because sometimes they'll play football matches on this field. Right. One time a group of lads, not me, broke in uh and stole a fire extinguisher. And then they've come outside and they've drawn a big penis because it was one of the foam fire extinguishers. They've drawn a big penis on the side of this building. They did it. And then what's what's so funny about that is right because obviously they've sprayed it and I don't know if you've ever shot a foam fire extinguisher before, but the foam goes everywhere. The powder it was powder, sorry. And the whole all of this car park, all of the road was all covered with powder. All the cars were having to stop because they couldn't drive through. It was chaos, right? But hilariously, it left a biging penis on the side of this building. So the council sent somebody down to clean it and they only cleaned the penis. So what they did is that they then graffitied a penis onto the wall in you know what I mean? Imagine if they jetwashed just the shape of the penis. So it was still on there for months after. Brilliant.

[00:17:18]Anyway, like I say, it wasn't me. I wasn't involved. It was just a story that I heard that happened before here in Willington when I was a young buck running around in Willington. Loads of memories here, mate. I've had a couple of couple of fights on this field, I think. Especially in that corner. It used to pop off outside that Chinese, mate. In fact, a crazying story happened in that Chinese that I'm not prepared to say online, but [ __ ] hell. Nearly the end of Mashtag, put it that way.

[00:17:46]It's seriously nearly the end of me. But annoyingly, I've not brought a ball with me, but Reman seems to be ENJOYING HIMSELF. REGGIE, REGGIE, come here.

[00:17:57]Reg, I love you. I love you. Yes, we love Ready.

[00:18:15]And we're back. And hopefully there's going to be a digger. It doesn't look like there's a [ __ ] digger. Is there an old bald man around here anywhere?

[00:18:24]Papa.

[00:18:26]Papa. [ __ ] Although the lawn mower is out. I think he was going to have a go lawn mowering. Remember four videos ago when I said I was going to mow my lawn and I really like doing um normal jobs every so often. Couldn't be bothered.

[00:18:42]Where's my [ __ ] dicker?

[00:18:45]>> What's happening?

[00:18:47]>> Well, I'm waiting for the guy to ring me up. He's supposed to be collecting it in Derby at off 11 and then ring me for the address to bring it here.

[00:18:54]>> Oh, but he's not rang it yet. So, not sure how much digging we're going to get done today. Also, I just bought this basketball hoop for a bin, but I just realized it doesn't come with the bin.

[00:19:05]Apparently, it makes a noise when you score. He goes, "Wee."

[00:19:09]This is like childhood dream day though, right? Basketball over the rubbish bin, which is like Everyone wanted that as a kid, is it? Zack, did you want one of them as a kid? Of course you did. We all did. Um, and then driving diggers. Every kid played with a [ __ ] JCB digger and wanted to be a digger driver for a while, Dad.

[00:19:33]All right, that [ __ ] I've got to build a swimming pool and a raft. I can't even put a [ __ ] hoop on a [ __ ] piece of plastic. I'm going to do one more attempt at this cuz I want to get me new pool queue and I want to give away 100 smackaroonies.

[00:19:51]Should we just go play golf sack? Should just sack the digger off. It's [ __ ] Friday, is it?

[00:19:59]Oh yes.

[00:20:03]Damn it. That was a demon break, bro.

[00:20:06]Thating broke the sound barrier. I thought the coup was going to snap it off and I was going to be able to just buy a new one anyway.

[00:20:14]Jackie, you could play snooker with the sword.

[00:20:24]Oh my god. Did I stab the table? I stabbed something? No. The answer is no.

[00:20:29]You can't play pool with a sword. HA.

[00:20:39]PART OF ME THOUGHT it could actually take my weight.

[00:20:44]Talking of swords, I need to buy a new one cuz this is only sharp on the end. I want one that's [ __ ] sharp all the way down like a samurai sword.

[00:20:58]I mean, if somebody attacks me, this would still hurt. And obviously if you actually stabbed him with that, that would [ __ ] impale him rapid. But I need to be able to [ __ ] do that [ __ ] Do you know what I mean? Zach is not enjoying this part of the video.

[00:21:15]Anyway, let's put the [ __ ] sword away before something or somebody ends up with a hole in them. All right, let's go and [ __ ] do something else. AND THE DIGGER has arrived.

[00:21:27]Is what I wish I could have said. Hey, we found another doggy. Look at this.

[00:21:32]Hey, [ __ ] off. Um, yeah, the digger's not [ __ ] coming. We've just had a call saying might be here soon. So, there's no digging today, boys. We're going to sack it off. Let's hit up the golf. Should we play golf? It's [ __ ] beautiful weather for golf in it, Zacho.

[00:21:50]Golf and beers.

[00:21:53]Let's do that. Let's [ __ ] do that.

[00:21:55]But I have another project. You're [ __ ] sick of hearing about this project. So Monday we start digging, right? That is definite. It's locked in.

[00:22:04]So I know this is all a bit [ __ ] long. Like when are you actually going to start doing [ __ ] Mash? I know. Same here, bro. I feel the same. We also want to sort this out, right? I'm going toinging pull all of thising [ __ ] out, put some fresh soil in, and we're going to plant potatoes, carrots, and whatever else they sell at theing garden center that we can make food out of. And then that way this can be the start of my own personal aotment. For everybody out there that always says to me, "Bring back the a lotment series. I love the all a lotment series." I don't want to bring back the a lotment series. Also, what happens to the a lotment? I don't know if you know anything about a lotments, but you can only rent them.

[00:22:41]You don't buy them. You don't own the a lotment, right? And you also have to cultivate 75% of the a lotment within the first 6 months. I didn't [ __ ] do that, did I? I'd built a shitty wonky fence and a prettying awesome birdhouse.

[00:22:56]Uh, and then I just left it. And then I got a call one day saying, "Are you going toinging do anything with this a lotment, mate?" And I went, "Ah, probably not. I've let someone else have it." So, what I did is instead I came AND BOUGHT THIS MASSIVE GARDEN. SO, NOW I have got my own a lotment right here and we're going to grow [ __ ] and then we're going to cook it and we're going to eat it. Only problem is what my dad just said. He says, "Well, does carrots, potatoes, and what else grow at the same speed?"

[00:23:22]Don't know. Okay. Obviously, I don't [ __ ] know, do I? I've never [ __ ] done it. So, let's do it together. And at least this is a project we can actually do. And there's not much [ __ ] work. So, we can actually maybe finish a project before we start another one. But for now, let's get the [ __ ] golf bats. Oh, I don't have any balls, Zach.

[00:23:43]Ball, Zach.

[00:23:45]But let's get these [ __ ] beauties out, Dan. So, let's go and get a couple of birdies and we might play some golf after as well. I'm so [ __ ] It took me ages to think of that as well. All right, let's load the puppies up.

[00:24:03]And daddy has arrived. Check the fit.

[00:24:07]A [ __ ] Oh, it's doing that [ __ ] thing again where the car moves. Anyway, check the fit. Not golf shoes because my dog get me golf shoes. Sounds like a [ __ ] thing with me own work, doesn't it? My dog get me homework. [ __ ] what's this? Don't know. Pink shirt.

[00:24:21]Slazzinger [ __ ] trousers. The cheapest ones in the [ __ ] shop. And a tailor made hat that I only bought because I was playing golf with me pal and he's sponsored by Callaway. So I said, "Well, I'll buy this so that in your video you'll have to put someone else's brand." So we're not actually at golf. We're at the garden center because like I say, we just need to pick up bag of compost and some seeds. And like I say, hopefully someone here will be able to tell me how to grow [ __ ] because although it's pretty [ __ ] self-explanatory, isn't it? Put it in the mud, put some [ __ ] water on it, and wait a bit. Hello. Could you give me some advice on this? I want to start growing [ __ ] >> Veg.

[00:25:01]>> Veg. I want to make a stew where I've grown all the vegetables myself. So, >> okay. Root vegetables, potatoes, carrots.

[00:25:08]>> That's a good starter pack.

[00:25:10]>> Are they packed individually or do I just sprinkle the whole lot over?

[00:25:13]>> They're individual.

[00:25:14]>> Okay. Oh, Christmas dinner. Oh, that's more like it. All right. Sand. Carrots, red cabbage, parsnips, Brussels sprouts, and do they all grow at the same sort of pace?

[00:25:24]>> Um, yeah, sort of.

[00:25:26]>> And is it is it is it just chuck them in, put some water on, or do I need to germinate the seeds and [ __ ] >> Or you can buy the little plants. We've got the little plants out here. Oh, maybe we want to some air boys. Well, and then these are going to be like already grown >> the beans.

[00:25:41]>> Yeah, >> cabbage.

[00:25:42]>> I don't know. I sort of like the idea that I grow it from a seed, you know, like a baby. Like I don't want to adopt a child, you know? I want my own child.

[00:25:50]I mean, they could be right troublemaker. Yeah, I I I reckon that that's a good start for me. If I can successfully do carrots, Brussels sprouts, and leaks, I think we're on to something then. And then I'll I'll come back. I'll let you know how I've got on and we'll uh we'll go into the advanced mode then, won't we? Level level two.

[00:26:08]Yeah, I think I'll start with this. I don't want to go two balls deep. I don't like starting projects I can't finish, you know.

[00:26:15]>> Wait, hold on. I'm not going to eat the carrot till January.

[00:26:18]>> It's Christmas dinner.

[00:26:19]>> Well, that wouldn't be very good for Christmas dinner then, would it? It says It says sew it March to May. Harvest November to Jan. take part.

[00:26:27]>> March.

[00:26:28]>> June, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, eight months.

[00:26:33]>> Jeez, a baby in nine.

[00:26:36]>> Oh, sort of dampened my spirit a bit. I was hoping to be having carrot stew next week cuz a couple of months maybe. Thank you so much, ladies. Appreciate you.

[00:26:47]>> Eight months. Honestly, [ __ ] forget it. Honestly, though, what the [ __ ] Sh.

[00:26:53]That's not right, is it? That can't be right. It doesn't take 8 months to grow a carrot. Yes, Roger, brother. How's it going, mate?

[00:27:01]>> I'm doing well, mate. How about you?

[00:27:03]What's on your mind today?

[00:27:04]>> I just want you to say the N word.

[00:27:07]>> I'm not going to do that.

[00:27:08]>> Anyway, listen. Um, I've just bought some seeds for carrots, leaks, Brussels sprouts, parsnips, and red cabbage. If I plant them today and feed them and water them and [ __ ] caress them and massage them and [ __ ] tend to every need that they have, how long is it going to be until I can scran a carrot? Dan, >> well, if you're pampering those veggies to the max, it's still nature's timeline, not yours. Carrots might take about 2 to 3 months. Leaks, you're looking at maybe four months. Brussels sprouts and parnips, closer to five or six months. red cabbage about three or four months. So, patience, my friend.

[00:27:49]>> Normally, the woman in the shop that sells you the seeds knows more than you do. Okay? And she does. She definitely knows more than I do. But does she know more than the supercomput chat GPT?

[00:28:02]Probably [ __ ] not to be honest. So, I'm going to trust that we could be eating carrots in three months. So, we can have a nice hearty a nice hearty stew. A nice hearty summer stew.

[00:28:14]They are [ __ ] If these If we eat these gang, I'll give some 100 quid.

[00:28:23]If I actually plant these and eat them in 3 months time, I will cook this and we will I shouldn't keep promising stuff. I keep saying stuff that I can't [ __ ] deliver, okay? But what I can deliver is a hole in one.

[00:28:40]I can't do that either, obviously. But we are going to go to golf and we're going to try and hit a hole in one. I can imagine though, I'm going to go the rest of my entire existence and never get a hole in one. But if we can get a par, then Zach will get a tattoo.

[00:28:56]Come on then, Zach. Jump in. Let's go [ __ ] whack some balls about them. And we we finally Jesus Christ. We we finally made it after we cuz in Church Brutton there's no [ __ ] signal and we didn't set it on the map and we come in a different way a way that I've never been before and we just spent look look at the time 3:40. We just spent like [ __ ] 40 minutes getting here and it's [ __ ] 15 minutes away. So we're [ __ ] eating up. We wanted to be wrapped up and done by like 5 and we're only just getting here at 20 to 4.

[00:29:28]Right. So we've got no beers and no cigarettes. Why the [ __ ] are we playing golf? What's the point with no beers, no cigarettes? [ __ ] play some [ __ ] golf, man. I don't know if you guys have seen, some of you may have seen me playing golf on the the cold mass channel. Maybe on Cole's channel or Paul uh on Cole's channel, my channel, I don't know. But I just wanted to drink beers. And you can justify drinking beers if you're at the golf course. It's like at the airport, you know? You're allowed to drink beers. Like you're allowed to drink drive at a golf course.

[00:30:00]You can [ __ ] drink beers and drive golf boogies. They don't have golf boogies here, unfortunately, because this is only a par three course, which means every hole only supposed to take three shots, three goes, three whacks. I don't [ __ ] know what you call it. So, what that means is my biging bad boy 400 driver or whatever the [ __ ] it cost me, we're going to leave in the wagon. Let's just we have a pint before we play.

[00:30:28]Let's have a party in the clubhouse first. That's the official first hole and then we'll [ __ ] have another pintly on the way back since we can't drink during the game. Oh, MJ, you always have to drink to [ __ ] make everything way more fun and make way more awesome. Oh, how come every time you drink you have the best time ever?

[00:30:45]Don't know. It's just lit, isn't it?

[00:30:46]It's so sick. Drinking is just so [ __ ] good. I love drinking more than I love my own penis.

[00:30:57]No. Do you know our drink is so good?

[00:30:59]Yeah. Because I've been around the world and I've had [ __ ] half an hour drinking sessions with people, right?

[00:31:07]And like had a conversation with them.

[00:31:09]Neither of us speak the same language.

[00:31:11]Just laughing and cheersing and [ __ ] banging the drinks on the table and [ __ ] You know what I mean? It can just connect everybody. Oh, that's peak. We even got an empty [ __ ] bottle of beer in the [ __ ] bag.

[00:31:23]Oh, we've hit the jackpot. Thank you to the four bros. I mean, we are drinking kiwi and lime cider.

[00:31:32]Better than nothing. You bet. You watch.

[00:31:33]I'll find a [ __ ] pack of cigarettes in here as well, knowing me. Oh, a glove. Some teas.

[00:31:39]No cigarettes. Let's [ __ ] go then, Dan. Oh, what a day. I'm so glad it's summer now. Do you know what I mean? The [ __ ] sun doesn't set till like 8:00 p.m. [ __ ] Maybe we should have a barbecue. Why the [ __ ] we've not had a barbecue, Zach? Do you know what I mean?

[00:31:53]We keep going for all these [ __ ] breakfasts and all these meals when we could just [ __ ] cook it up ourselves and [ __ ] bang a couple of [ __ ] t-bones on the [ __ ] grill. You know what I'm saying? There's always pressure at this um golf course on the first hole because that is the tea box and then there's usually a load of BS out here drinking that. So, [ __ ] pressure. What you reckon? I reckon I can do this in a par three. Like I said, they're all par three. Although if my first shot doesn't go anywhere near the hole, I'm not getting it in three [ __ ] shots. Dan, I'm not even going to have a practice swing. First string straight up.

[00:32:36]Oh, it's gone a bit right then. That is completely savable.

[00:32:42]One of them. Honestly, one of them.

[00:32:44]That's going to be a [ __ ] banker, Dan.

[00:32:50]Oh my god. straight as an arrow. It's going in the hole. It's not going in the hole, but it was pretty [ __ ] good.

[00:32:56]Problem with golf is the less you play, the shitterter it is cuz you're not as good. You need to be able to be good and then it's more enjoyable. So then you play more. So that's like how you get the bug. Do you know what I mean? You you [ __ ] want to get better. You want to get better. Oh, should I put that?

[00:33:13]Let's put that.

[00:33:14]>> Pitch it.

[00:33:15]>> Pitch it. All right, Zacho. Zack on the [ __ ] advice. Caddyy Zack sake Zack youing prick.

[00:33:30]Go on turn off you fating smelly [ __ ] If I pop this I'll give Zach 10 quid.

[00:33:38]A missed it on purpose.

[00:33:44]Six. Not a great start.

[00:33:48]Oh, that would have been [ __ ] cool, right? Hold two. Easy again. As long as you can get over that first bit, which obviously any normal golfer should be able to do. But let's not forget I'm [ __ ] I do enjoy it though. It's nice to be out here in the fields in the nature.

[00:34:05]I mean, your [ __ ] AP is kicking in.

[00:34:07]You know, you've got a [ __ ] ice cold beer in the [ __ ] bag. You got a snuz on the [ __ ] top lip. You step up to the [ __ ] plate and you absolutely [ __ ] waste your [ __ ] time and money.

[00:34:22]Hopefully those BS didn't see me throw me [ __ ] golf club. It's not um quite in the golf etiquette. Right, I'm just going to use the same club because the [ __ ] ball didn't go anywhere. And I know what you're thinking. Oh, maybe do some practice swings. Maybe that will help because I can do the practice swing and that's fine. And then when I go toinging hit the actual ball, suddenly I can'ting do it. So I reckon I'm better.

[00:34:45]There's a chance that I hit this tree, by the way, Zach.

[00:34:49]Oh, I did hit the tree. And it was the perfect [ __ ] bounce. That was lucky, wasn't it? I mean, technically could still hit a par here, couldn't I? Right.

[00:34:58]I am going to put this, Zach, against your advice. Can't chip for [ __ ] And I reckon I've got I reckon I got this in me, Dan. What do you reckon, Zach?

[00:35:09]Go, go, go. [ __ ] smelly [ __ ] What was that? That was three, wasn't it?

[00:35:16]Look at that. Look at Oh my [ __ ] god.

[00:35:21]That was aing great put, Dad.

[00:35:26]Five. We're getting better. We are getting better. Onto the third. Well, let's have a beer then. It's onto the third. Right. Let me show you my golf trick. I can use any club in the bag.

[00:35:40]There you go, Zacho. Drinking on the job. Tell you what, Jack, not bad your job, is it? Probably shouldn't use my um 1,000 pound [ __ ] golf clubs. But to be honest with you, they're more use opening bottles than they are [ __ ] hitting balls. Cheers, Zako.

[00:36:03][ __ ] eight cider. Honestly, I don't like that at all. I might even drink it as he drinks it. Right. 142 yards. It doesn't look that far away, does it?

[00:36:13]Except I don't know how to hit a ball.

[00:36:15]I'm not even going to use a tea. Just going to hit straight off the [ __ ] ground.

[00:36:21]Oh my god. That's the greatest [ __ ] shot of golf. Oh my god. Go, go, go.

[00:36:33]Oh, that is the best shot of golf I have ever done. We could potentially get a birdie here. Oh my god.

[00:36:45]I I honestly think I think I'm one yard away from the hole. Two shots. [ __ ] call me up. Creator Golf Tournaments.

[00:36:53][ __ ] hollow me, boys. The ball is so perfectly in line. That was the straightest shot I've ever hit. or I'm ever going to hit. It's not as close to the hole as I thought. We are probably going to be lucky for getting a par to be honest, but we're going to give it a very good go. I think I've only ever had one birdie in my [ __ ] whole life. And I've played about I would guess 30, no more than 40 holes of golf. Uh rounds of golf, sorry, not holes until now. Ah, still doable for Paul, boys. Please Jesus, guide my ball into the hole for a par.

[00:37:39]Amen.

[00:37:43]Bash. No.

[00:37:52]I've got no [ __ ] words. Four.

[00:37:54]Although that we started with six, then we got five, then we got four. You know what's next? Oh, we should try and put the bottle the the Do you reckon you could do that?

[00:38:07]Smooth, baby. Right, this is the one.

[00:38:10]We're going to make this the last hole on camera. We'll go off the ground again. Seeing as I [ __ ] hit it so [ __ ] fire.

[00:38:20]I mean, it wasn't great.

[00:38:24]Yeah, let's make this the last hole, right? I'd say that's 100 yards. I don't know. And if I hit this as hard as I can at the driving range, it usually goes about 100 yards.

[00:38:34]So, we're just going to [ __ ] give it a full whack.

[00:38:39]Oh my. I'm actually pretty [ __ ] good at golf. Oh, it's still going. We could be on for a par after that [ __ ] [ __ ] start.

[00:38:49]Oh my god. I [ __ ] love golf, man. It is sick. Like the best thing about golf is you'll have a [ __ ] stinker and you'll be hating it and you might even snap one of your clubs and then you hit one shot and you're back in love, baby.

[00:39:02]You know what I mean? Right, we've just decided if I actually pop this and get a par, which means I've done six, five, four, three. If I get a two on the next one, you know what's coming up for [ __ ] all seven, don't you? Although this four five 11t put downhill right to left. I don't know if it's right to left. I don't even know what that means. Nice wide stance.

[00:39:35]Yeah. No. Oh my god.

[00:39:41]How is that possible?

[00:39:44]Oh, [ __ ] Jesus.

[00:39:47]Oh my god. I was literally semi as it was going and then just [ __ ] hell.

[00:39:53]Four. Oh, right. There we go. That is the end of the golf v the golf part of this video. If you guys enjoy it though, let me know because I love playing golf and I'd love to play more on the channel. But I appreciate not everyone likes golf and like if you don't like golf playing it, you probably won't like [ __ ] watching it. Unless it's me playing, maybe you do. But so we're just testing out different things. But if you guys are enjoying it, then that means we can play loads more. OH, ME BEER. THEN that means we can play loads more golf.

[00:40:20]But um right, I'm going to hit a couple more cut holes off camera and then let's go and plant some [ __ ] seeds down.

[00:40:37]And the a lotment series is back.

[00:40:40]Sort of. We're gonna [ __ ] do it, boys.

[00:40:44]Zach, clear the weeds. I think we can just literally just pull that out.

[00:40:50]I don't think there's I don't I think I'm overthinking this completely. I was thinking, oh, we're going to have to shovel it all out and [ __ ] refine it and make sure there's no [ __ ] bits left over bollocks to that. Let's [ __ ] yank these [ __ ] out. Oh, hold on, mate. I've got [ __ ] I've even got one of these [ __ ] What's that called? [ __ ] off. Yeah.

[00:41:11][ __ ] What if we just [ __ ] shovel out the top layer?

[00:41:16]Wait, I'm throwing it all on the floor.

[00:41:18]But we need a bag or something, don't we?

[00:41:24]Bag of [ __ ] Oh, it went in me eyes, man. I'm saying just [ __ ] just do that.

[00:41:33]How much [ __ ] soil do you need?

[00:41:38]I'm definitely just [ __ ] chopping roots here, aren't I?

[00:41:45]How the [ __ ] am I going to build a swimming pool, bro?

[00:41:48]Carrots are pretty [ __ ] cheap just to buy them from the shop, to be fair.

[00:41:52]Right, I reckon we just [ __ ] we'll just shovel out the whole top layer, isn't it? I reckon that's a viable option. I know you're not a gardening man, >> but am I supposed to leave no green in there?

[00:42:04]>> Yeah.

[00:42:04]>> I feel like that's what it should be, is it? Yeah, >> I was in literally my idea to do this.

[00:42:15]>> I don't think we need to get rid of all the green.

[00:42:18]Some of it, bro.

[00:42:21][ __ ] hell, John.

[00:42:23]I'm pretty sure that's enough.

[00:42:25]Obviously, there was a couple of flakes of leaves, but and then I don't actually know what you do with this other than just [ __ ] That woman said that the carrots like it nice and fine, didn't she?

[00:42:36]I can't do this whole thing now.

[00:42:39]Sweating.

[00:42:43]Holy [ __ ] All right, one third done. Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] Ah. Ah, imagine having to do all of this.

[00:43:00]Imagine if I'm like originally I thought, you know what? I won't just build a swimming pool. I'll do the whole garden. Everyone love the a lotment series. Let's do the garden. I've done that and I'm profusely sweating. All right.

[00:43:17]Where's theing seeds at? Where to sew carrots and parsnips? so thinly directly into the growing site, 2 cm deep in rows 30 cm apart. You're better off delaying sewings if soil are wet and cold. [ __ ] that. Pretty sure you just put them in the ground. I think literally we'll say carrots are going here. So we'll draw two lines. [ __ ] it.

[00:43:50]That's got to work. I don't know if it is. Bit of soil on top.

[00:43:54]Cover it up.

[00:43:57]We're just We're just going to do the same. I'm not going to read the pack.

[00:43:59]We're just going to do the same with all of them.

[00:44:02]Is that too many seeds, though? That's what I'm worried about. Day one gardening, boys. Chuck a bit more down.

[00:44:10]I didn't think there was that many left in the packet. I don't know even know what side the seeds are. size the seeds are.

[00:44:20]They all just fell out of the [ __ ] top. The leaks grow down or up?

[00:44:26]>> No. W >> right. Red cabbage. We don't need too many of these, do we?

[00:44:34]>> How big this cabbage is?

[00:44:35]>> That big?

[00:44:36]>> Yeah.

[00:44:36]>> Yeah. So, I don't want many, do I?

[00:44:42]Hit it with that. If we get any food out of this, it's going to be [ __ ] sick.

[00:44:46]And then finally, Brussels sprouts.

[00:44:49]Here's my guess for what's going to happen with this. All the weeds that I've not properly taken out are going to grow. Somehow we're going to end up with a potato in there.

[00:44:59]And um maybe some flowers and zero food.

[00:45:03]So, the Brussels sprouts, look, we only got about 20 [ __ ] seeds.

[00:45:08]So, you know what I We only need, listen, I know you're all thinking, "Oh, he's a [ __ ] idiot. Oh, it's never going to work." We only need one seed to work. If we grow, if one seed grows, I've got a carrot, one cabbage, one stick of Brussels sprouts. But you'll forget all about it. It'll die and you're never going to get anything out of that.

[00:45:31]>> No, you'll be [ __ ] begging for my carrots, mate. We don't have a watering can, obviously.

[00:45:38]I've got this um pressurized sprayer. I think that's a waste of time. I really think I probably should have germinated most of the seeds before I put them in. Got a lovely bit of sunshine. So guys, comment down below what you think's going to what you think. [ __ ] What you think is going to grow first? I think the carrots will be start sprouting first. Actually, that's quite good. It's like That's [ __ ] going to take ages, mate.

[00:46:12]One more of them and we're done.

[00:46:14]Honestly, some things in life are really [ __ ] hard.

[00:46:18]But growing a carrot can't be one of those things. It just can't, can it? It can't be that [ __ ] hard. I feel like a watering can would work better, but obviously all this water is going to [ __ ] spread out, is it? All right.

[00:46:33]And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of my day. Thank you very much for watching. Please hit the subscribe button down below. If you've come this far, I mean, if you've come this far, please hit subscribe. [ __ ] you know, you've been through some [ __ ] today, aren't you? Really appreciate everyone.

[00:46:44]Just another thank you to everybody for watching. Honestly, the fact that the fact that this is [ __ ] my job.

[00:46:52]Rubbies and tuggies for everyone. Right, let's go dump this and then I'm going to [ __ ] go and drink loads of beers and smoke a load of [ __ ] green then.

[00:47:05]Safe.