What’s the Meaning of Life?

[00:00:08]Well, today I was going to go to a petting zoo. It wasn't really a petting zoo.

[00:00:15]They had some animals there. Me and my sister were going to go there and just see some animals, but it was too muddy, too many mosquitoes, and it just wasn't a good idea. So, we opted out of that idea. And now we're stuck doing nothing. And I got my auntie over, my mom, my stepfather, my sister, her child, which is amazing.

[00:00:41]Her child is really smart for being one years old. Like I can communicate to her and she understands what I'm saying, which is pretty impressive.

[00:00:50]So I'm just having a grand to live stream to make some money. Dude, I've been making decent money off live streams, which is pretty sweet. Like, I have an old I have a check that is 163 that comes at July 21st or 26, and then I have one that's $180 that comes the next month after that.

[00:01:14]So, it's pretty impressive stuff for being an unk, for being dry, for being lame. I don't know why people send me money, but I definitely appreciate it and I don't take it for granted. But I'm not good with my financial decisions. I gamble. I spend my money because I'm all about dopamine and I just like fast reactions and things like that. So, not that great with money because I don't think I know the value of money honestly because I'm not working at the moment.

[00:01:46]So, yeah.

[00:01:49]But it is what it is. So hopefully people join this live stream and it's a good live. I just got a new vape which is amazing. Has 80,000 puffs which is unhealthy. But nicotine puts you in a good mood which is nice.

[00:02:07]So that's why I do it. But it also is very harmful. It contaminates your lungs with uh heavy metals. It can give you asthma after like 10 years of use which is not good.

[00:02:19]But yeah, dude, live [snorts] streams are fun. They kind of burn me out a little bit and I just am not a good communicator after a little bit. But yeah, it is what it is. I don't know how long I'm going to live stream for.

[00:02:33]Probably half an hour.

[00:02:36]But yeah, so that's all I got to say.

[00:02:38]That's my whole spiel. That's my TED talk. And I'll see you guys in the next one. Peace. No, I'm just joking.

[00:02:45]But yeah, dude. I need people to join my live so I can react to their comments.

[00:02:51]That's the funnest. And it's fun when you actually get engaging comments that provide value that ask you for advice.

[00:02:58]Like my favorite comments are comments when people ask for advice on life and I can just give my philosophy and that's the best. But it's annoying when people are just trolls and being stupid and just being degenerates and just trolling. It's annoying as hell. But yeah, that's my TED talk. That's really all I have to say. That's my whole spiel.

[00:03:24]So, what about you guys? How is your day going? What is it? Sunday. How's your Sundays going? Let me know in the comments down below. Where are you from?

[00:03:34]What time is it? All of those kinds of things. And do not vape, kids.

[00:03:39]Definitely do not vape.

[00:03:44]I started vaping yesterday. Oh, 14 viewers. I started vaping yesterday. I'm not going to snitch on who made me vape, but they gave me their vape and I was at the beach and I was just vaping a whole bunch. He's like, "You want some of this?" And I'm like, "Yeah, sure." And I haven't vaped in many, many years because I previously was so addicted to vaping and it was terrible and it took forever to break that habit. And then I just started vaping again yesterday and I was at the beach and it was like plus 35 and I was out on the beach with no shirt obviously and I say no shirt because when you're fat usually you put on shirts but I had no shirt and I was baking in the sun and somebody else I'm not going to snitch on who was like do you want to smoke some weed? Do you want some of this joint? And I'm I was drunk.

[00:04:33]I wasn't drunk, but I had a couple drinks and I'm like, "Yeah, sure." But I have schizophrenia, so I'm like, "This is a bad idea." But she also has schizophrenia, which is not good. So, it's definitely bad influences. And she probably got schizophrenia from weed.

[00:04:47]And that's probably what I got it from, too. But she's like, "No, it's indacica.

[00:04:51]It just puts you to sleep. It gives you a body high. It doesn't really mess with your dopamine that much, so you should be good." So, I smoked that. I was drinking sugary drinks in the hot sun.

[00:05:03]And yeah, it was not good. And I was acting very strange. I feel like it felt like I was acting weird. I was trying to be normal, but I was just acting weird. And I was paranoid of like cops and what people were saying and all of these different things cuz I have paranoid schizophrenia. So, I was trying to like steer myself into a positive direction.

[00:05:22]And I managed my symptoms cuz I have paranoid schizophrenia. That's what the doctor said. And I was smoking weed and I was kind of paranoid for a little bit, but then I steered myself in a positive direction. I'm like, "No, it's all made up. It's all in your head."

[00:05:37]And yeah, then we went to dinner. They had some drinks. I didn't. I just had water. And then we went to my sister's house. And then we all went home.

[00:05:49]And that's the story about that. And now we got like a family gathering going on.

[00:05:55]We're supposed to go to like an a petting zoo kind of just had animals at a farm, but that got cancelled. So now we're just chilling with the family. I'm doing a live stream while they're talking to each other cuz they're all girls and I want to give them their space and I have nothing no value to provide because I'm a dude and they're all females. So it just yeah, wrong demographic for me to talk to because they're all old and females and yeah.

[00:06:21]So, I'm out here live streaming for half an hour, maybe at tops, and that's what I'm doing. But yeah, leave a comment down below. So many viewers, but no comments. I need some comments. You know, you're probably listening to me, but you got to give some comments. A hi, a simple hey, a simple hello, something, brother.

[00:06:50]It can give you asthma. It puts it puts heavy metals into your lungs. It's not good.

[00:06:56]And a hospice nurse once said the three things that she would stay away from is drinking, is smoking, and riding on ebikes and quads because they're so dangerous. And I just got an ebike, so that's good news. And I'm starting to smoke and I was drinking. So yeah, definitely on the wrong side of the spectrum, but it is what it is.

[00:07:19]But I just self-medicate. That's why I do these things. Like that's why I drink. I don't get drunk. I'm not a drunk. I'm not an alcoholic. I just have like a beer sometimes, just to self-medicate, to be in a good mood, to get rid of symptoms. And I smoke just to put me in a good mood because nicotine puts you in a good mood. So I do that.

[00:07:43]And yeah, but like I said, there's consequences to nicotine. So, it's definitely not something you want to do. And there's no easy way out. There's no healthy alternatives to nicotine. It's all bad unless you get patches. But even that can have some effects.

[00:08:04]But yeah, just don't follow me as an example. I guess you could say, but yeah, there's no comments, which is crazy.

[00:08:54]But [snorts] I've talked enough. Now you guys got to talk and leave some comments down below.

[00:09:07]And now I'm stmming out because I got autism. So if you hear me [snorts] stmming out, that's why. Because I got a little little bit of the tism. So I stim out. I make weird noises. I don't know.

[00:09:19]I like sing music in my head. And it's really strange. I never used to do that, but now I'm starting to do that. But I don't know what kind of tism I have.

[00:09:26]Like maybe I'm not good socially. I'm kind of good socially sometimes. I just don't do it that much.

[00:09:33]And the reason I'm not good socially is because ever since I was a kid, I would isolate myself all the time and I would just make YouTube videos and I'd be a hermit on my computer and I would never socialize. I'd never interact with the world. I would just isolate and run away from my problems and it made me kind of a bad communicator and it made me bad socially. But I'm working on it now. Now I'm with family. Now I go out to events.

[00:09:58]Now I'm with friends and I'm more social which which definitely helps with my mental health which [snorts] is nice.

[00:10:06]And yeah, that's what you need to do.

[00:10:08]You need to stay on top of your mental health and you need the sun, you need family, you need friends, you need events, you need to take care of yourself because isolating yourself, you just overthink and you make the symptoms that much worse.

[00:10:22]So yeah, and staying busy definitely helps. So having a good job would definitely help with schizophrenia or symptoms of that. But yeah, I'm just so smart. It's crazy, man. No, I'm not really that smart, honestly. But my sister's a lot smarter than me.

[00:10:43]And it's unfortunate. [snorts] She got the good genetics.

[00:10:46]I got the poor genetics, which is not fun at all. But really, all I got to do is apply myself and I'll be good in life. But I'm so fat and lazy and just tapped out from trying in life that I just am tired. And that's why I just do live streams now. I don't make vlogs.

[00:11:07]I don't make music really because it takes too much effort and it just feels like a job. It feels like a task and it's mundane and it's boring. So, I just live stream because it's simple, it's easy, it's cheap, and yeah, but man, I'm surprised there's no comments. That is crazy talk. I guess people are just listening to me talk.

[00:11:28]But man, I need some interactions. Holy But yeah, what is the meaning of life?

[00:11:49]Somebody leave that in the comments below. What is the meaning of life to you?

[00:11:55]What gives life meaning?

[00:11:59]What gives life meaning? Leave that in the comments down below. What gives life meaning to you?

[00:12:11]But yeah, I got a double chin and [ __ ] My face is like a moon face. Definitely need to lock in.

[00:12:17]I need to lock in for my niece so she doesn't grow up thinking I'm a loser and a degenerate. So, I need to lock in for her.

[00:12:26]And that's the crazy thing about having children is there's such a motivating factor to better yourself. And that's usually the Kickstarter and the catalyst for a lot of people in life is children.

[00:12:39]It makes them want to lock in and do better for themselves and their children and provide for their children. So yeah, definitely beneficial, but I'm not having children because I have mental illness. I have a mental illness, schizophrenia, little bit of the tism, and I don't want to pass that down to my children so they suffer. So, I guess I'm about eugenics as well because I don't want to pass on poor traits of my children so they don't so they Yeah. so they don't suffer, which is which is rational.

[00:13:13]But yeah, man. I'm surprised there's no comments. This is crazy. This is driving me insane.

[00:13:18]Driving me insane. I'm just talking to myself at this point.

[00:13:25]I might restart the stream. I don't know.

[00:13:38]Yeah, this is my autism kicking in. I'm stmming out hard.

[00:13:44]I guess that's the kind of tism I have is like ticks and [clears throat] just stmming out.

[00:13:51]But it's better than wearing headphones, so I'll take it. But yeah, where's pistol? Where's pizza on pizza on pizza?

[00:13:58]Where's the mods at? For real.

[00:14:04]Unless my phone's lagging out. I don't know. I doubt it, though. Oh, I already got a gift. What the hell, dude?

[00:14:13]Like, what the hell? I already got a gift, but I just can't see the comments, which is crazy.

[00:14:21]That's insane. Why can't I see the comments? Is it just lagging out?

[00:14:26]I don't get it.

[00:14:28]I guess it's just lagging out. Maybe I have to restart the stream.

[00:14:32]That's unfortunate that I can't see the comments or the gifts or anything like that because then I can't thank you guys and I don't know who it is coming from. So, might need to restart the stream honestly.