stuttering jon delivery problem

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]I got to drop a deuce. I I Yeah, yeah, hold on. I'll be right back. Oh, is this Uber Eats? What do you got? Yeah, how much? Oh, it's paid for already? All right, I'll be right there. Hold on. Ben sent me beer. Isn't that nice? Hold on.

[00:00:12]You know, I'm not going to turn down free beer. It's not really that people here are Anthony fans and and Shuli enemies, although Anthony was definitely the funny and talented one in that mix.

[00:00:24]It's that Shuli is just generally lame.

[00:00:28]I'm putting it Oh, Jesus.

[00:00:30]Somebody's drinking. Well, all I saw was O'Doul's. It was one six-pack of O'Doul's.

[00:00:35]>> Welcome to Dabble Town USA, the biggest bang in town. What a feeling, a brand new show is here. So, get ready for the laughter [music] to fill the atmosphere with Stuttering John Melendez and the legal mind [music] of Vince, plus the wild takes of Karl Hamburger, a trio to convince. It's a party [music] you're invited to, a non-stop happy craze. Welcome to Dabble Town [music] USA.

[00:00:59]Dabble Town USA. She died a millionaire.

[00:01:03]Watch this. Watch, watch. That's because we're Melendez's.

[00:01:09]Not me.

[00:01:10]Oh, uh pause for a sec. Uh Joe, did in that rant there, did he say that his father died a millionaire? No, he A multi-millionaire, as a matter of fact.

[00:01:19]Yeah. So, isn't he always saying that he's like working class and everything?

[00:01:24]Uh I mean, what day we talking about?

[00:01:26]Cuz there's, you know, Yesterday >> Long Island, yeah.

[00:01:30]He doesn't need it. No, he's from of of everyman from Long Island, tire shop at nine years old, you know.

[00:01:36]>> so his father died a multi-millionaire.

[00:01:38]So, so how?

[00:01:42]Right. [laughter] I think I'm going to sneeze. Achoo.

[00:01:46]>> [laughter] >> Prop comic. Bob, can I get Gina's number? Asking for an old {slash} new friend.

[00:01:55]>> [laughter] >> You know, Vince, $2. Really, Vince?

[00:02:00]Hey guys, give me 1 second. Well, give me like a minute.

[00:02:05]I got to drop a deuce. I I Yeah Yeah, hold on. I'll be right back.

[00:02:09]Ah, [ __ ] [ __ ] hell.

[00:02:14]Ah, be right back. Just going to drop a deuce.

[00:02:19]Ah, [ __ ] hell. Ah, [ __ ] Jesus.

[00:02:26]>> [clears throat] >> [ __ ] My ruins.

[00:02:45][ __ ] [ __ ] hell.

[00:02:50]God.

[00:02:52][ __ ] right.

[00:02:54]Damn it.

[00:02:57]>> [groaning] [yawns] [snorts] >> Who. Phone.

[00:03:01]Hello.

[00:03:02]What? Oh, is this Uber Eats? What do you got?

[00:03:06]Yeah, how much? Oh, it's paid for already? Oh, I'll be right there. Hold on. Vince sent me beer. Isn't that nice?

[00:03:12]Hold on.

[00:03:13]Vince.

[00:03:14]You're [ __ ] up my show. I got I got to show my driver's license now.

[00:03:18]All right, Vince, you're [ __ ] me. I know you're trying to be nice, and I appreciate it.

[00:03:23]But now I got to find my [ __ ] driver's license. You know, I'm not going to turn down free beer. All right, I want to thank A. Devin Alexander Alexandra. Thank you, Vince, for the 18-pack. That was very nice of you. I take back I guess I do like you.

[00:03:40]>> [clears throat] >> I well, I always liked Vince. It's just then he turns on me. But All right. Anthony Zenhauser Zenhauser's point double point debut.

[00:03:48]And then, uh, Tookie eventually joined to give his update. And this is what that looked like. It I mean, it's Tookie on the screen.

[00:03:56]Um but obviously the [snorts] elephant in the room here is Anthony Zenhauser.

[00:04:04]John is very angry at Shuli.

[00:04:07]Shuli is not well thought of in the Dabble verse. Before all this, he was not well thought of in the Dabble verse.

[00:04:12]It's not really that people here are Anthony fans and and Shuli enemies, although Anthony was definitely the funny and talented one in that mix.

[00:04:23]It's that Shuli is just generally lame.

[00:04:27]Karl from Who Are These Podcasts basically started building his empire making fun of the lame crap that Shuli does. I may be playing a little fast and loose with Karl's origin story, but you know, before Karl ever discovered Stuttering John, I believe he was making fun of Shuli. Um and there's a lot to make fun of there.

[00:04:47]From a career perspective if I was successful enough or prominent enough in this in this broadcasting business that people were doing roundtables about how much I suck I think I would actually be pleased with that. John is neither.

[00:05:03]John is displeased and yet watches every minute of these people criticizing him which is guaranteed to raise anybody's blood pressure.

[00:05:13]I understand and I'm sympathetic to the fact that John lives in a universe where everyone is always talking about him all the time, and that talk is usually very negative.

[00:05:22]That would work on anybody's nerves.

[00:05:25]John comes by this criticism honestly because like Shuli be he's kind of the worst.

[00:05:33]But as a human being, I can understand how that would weigh on you.

[00:05:37]So why on God's green earth would you subject yourself to dipping your head in the bucket of negativity that is a bunch of people talking smack about you.

[00:05:48]He will repeat phrases that have been used to criticize him. These people are in his head. He's thinking about what they think about him all the time.

[00:05:58]That's the reason I don't go to see negative things about myself, for example. I've mentioned before that I'm an old hand at having people say negative things about me on the internet. Years before any of you knew who I was, I was writing about martial arts and there were plenty of people in the martial arts world who hated my guts.

[00:06:17]I'm aware that there's a subreddit devoted to trashing me, just like there are subreddits for Shuli and for Dabblers Anonymous and a bunch of the other figures in the Dabbleverse. I'm actually a little flattered to have my own group, but I don't go there.

[00:06:31]Why would I do that? Why would I go there to to read mean things about myself? All it can do is get in your head and bother you if you're a human being.

[00:06:42]So, why John would subject himself to watching every minute of content about him, I don't know.

[00:06:48]Uh I was shocked and amazed that he even knew who I was, to be perfectly honest with you. And I imagine he probably limits his viewing time to the big shows, the ones that he hates most, like uh you know, Who Are These Podcasts and and anything that Shuli's doing.

[00:07:06]Um and then whoever the specific rotating grievance of the moment happens to be, like I would not be at all surprised if he spends a couple of weeks obsessed with Opie. Because Opie's in his sights right now. He's on his radar.

[00:07:20]But that's not going to last. He'll he'll get mad at somebody else. Just like for a little while it was Joey C when Joey C made him mad. Um I think even DG did a turn in the barrel when he displeased John briefly.

[00:07:33]So, I think it's safe to say that at no time is Stuttering John playing 3D chess with life. I mean, look at him.

[00:07:42]These are the outcomes of a successful brilliant man who is manipulating the world around him.

[00:07:52]Okay.

[00:07:55]So, why is John so angry?

[00:08:00]John's life was front-loaded with accomplishments.

[00:08:03]All of the big things in life he accomplished early. He failed upward.

[00:08:07]And in failing upward, he was making a lot of money, and then it all went away.

[00:08:12]And now he has nothing, and he screams at his laptop so that people can insult him in $2 increments, and he can complain that they're not sending him enough money to insult him.

[00:08:25]He's incredibly insecure.

[00:08:26]He feels inferior to everyone. He's terrified of other people.

[00:08:32]So, he swaggers around pretending to be a tough guy, challenging people to fights, constantly talking about how he wants to beat everybody up, talking about how he's a fighter, and all this other nonsense.

[00:08:44]Living in his glory days like the Cabbie fight, which he lost, but which he was told that he won.

[00:08:50]All of that is a man manifestation of how terrified he is of people. He can't even hear Shuli's name come up on his own show when what's-his-face started saying, "Oh, I've got a text here from Shuli." He started going, "Nope, nope, nope. I don't answer to Shuli. Don't Don't say that. Don't mention him." The reaction was immediate and visceral visceral. Also, John is deeply self-centered.

[00:09:12]Um anyone who opposes him, anyone who makes fun of him, anyone who criticizes him, >> [snorts] >> anyone who disagrees with him gets added to this lengthy enemies list.

[00:09:23]You must constantly praise John, and it is not possible to praise him enough to stay in his good graces. John lives in a world where his failures are so eminently mockable that an entire industry has been built around doing just that.

[00:09:42]Every time he turns around, he's being mocked and made fun of.

[00:09:46]For a well-adjusted person, the weight of that would be a lot.

[00:09:51]For someone like John, it's a reminder that he's a failure every day.

[00:09:57]So, every day, every single time he opens that laptop and starts yelling at it, he is trying to persuade himself. Every time he recites the litany of his resume, every time he tries to persuade himself that he's good enough, he's smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like him.

[00:10:16]That litany is not for you. It is not meant to convince you.

[00:10:20]It is meant to convince him.

[00:10:22]And he's never going to manage it. He's never going to convince himself that he's not a failure. It's eating him. It's gnawing at him.

[00:10:32]And that is why Stuttering John is so angry.

[00:10:38]I feel like that was like a like a talk show final thought.

[00:10:42]Mr. Green says, "Thank God Phil isn't thin-skinned and doesn't block people."

[00:10:46]I block people who insult me. I've never understood this idea that I should just be willing to let people crap all over me. Like, I don't have time for your negativity. You know, I'm I'm just going to not listen to it. I give people a couple of chances usually unless it's very obvious. But, if you're if you're just here to shout at me, what's the point? We're not going to have a conversation. We're not going to have any kind of meaningful interaction. I'm certainly not obligated Like, if I was sitting in my house with the window open and some guy drove by and from the curb was like, "Hey, you suck." Why wouldn't I close the window? Like, I've never understood this sense of entitlement that people have. You should be willing to let me insult you. Like, no. I mean, ow.

[00:11:29]I'm not not to listen to that. So, it's not a question of being thin-skinned.

[00:11:33]It's not like I go, "Ooh, get Here's a good example. John takes great delight in banning people or putting them in time out. He likes to talk in a baby talk voice and go, "Ooh, you you you got to go in the time out." And it makes him feel powerful. This is part of the power fantasy.

[00:11:49]If I block you, it's because I don't want to spend any time on your negativity. Like if you're being and something, I just go click and then you stop existing for me. I'm I'm done with that. It's pretty simple.

[00:12:00]Not wanting to listen to people's negativity is not automatically synonymous with being thin-skinned.

[00:12:05]People insult me 150 times a day that I notice.

[00:12:10]I'm sure there's plenty that I don't see. Somehow I manage to go on with life.

[00:12:14]So, I I think you need to redefine your definitions of what constitutes thin-skinned.

[00:12:20]All right. Uh Let me scroll on down through my notes here. We talked about Opie a little bit out of order.

[00:12:27]Um Shoe 08 is the worst. I have that in my notes.

[00:12:31]Uh Uh I think it's notable that John watches Point Dabble Point.

[00:12:38]I can't imagine putting myself through the hell that would be watching a round table discussion about how much I suck.

[00:12:47]Surely showed it today.

[00:12:50]Can you believe, Kenneth, that Uh-oh.

[00:12:53]Hold on. I'm putting it Oh, Jesus.

[00:12:57]Somebody's drinking.

[00:12:58]No.

[00:13:01]Skol!

[00:13:03]Oh, [ __ ] See, you distracted me.

[00:13:10]I Son of a [ __ ] Sure, blame it on me.

[00:13:13]Yeah, it's all your fault, John.

[00:13:16]All right, sorry.

[00:13:17]Where's the beer?

[00:13:18]>> No, I I'm I'm I'm wearing my socks. So, then when I stood up with my socks on >> Is that a single bed right there?

[00:13:28]It's a full.

[00:13:30]And where does your wife sleep?

[00:13:34]I I He just Well, I mean it's Staten Island. Stolen Island.

[00:13:42]Yeah, do you like Elmo?

[00:13:45]Me? Um You know, I have mixed opinions on Elmo.

[00:13:51]He's uh He's a bit nerdy for my taste. I mean, I feel like deep down he's a good guy, but I also feel like he has a dark side. Where you really Hey Devon, says the dude who failed out of clown college.

[00:14:11]Thank you, Devon, because he's a Yeah, he's a [ __ ] idiot. The guy is a loser. Devon, Alexandra, I want you to know something.

[00:14:21]Go to my IMDb. See all that I have achieved.

[00:14:27]And I'm a stuttering OCD-ridden Puerto Rican.

[00:14:31]And growing up in a [ __ ] hard neighborhood, your dad will tell you, I still made it out.

[00:14:40]And was able to buy a bunch of mansions.

[00:14:43]Look at this [ __ ] Wayans.

[00:14:45]He had to move to [ __ ] Alabama. I'm sure his parents bought the [ __ ] place.

[00:14:52]Or I guess there's a big sale on crystals. Uh they're hot now.

[00:14:57]But there's >> [laughter] >> no other way.

[00:15:00][ __ ] And I'll keep putting this up, Devon, cuz Look, I'm telling you, Devon, the [ __ ] Wayans is just that. He's a [ __ ] Wayans. He's a loser. The guy's never done nothing.

[00:15:13]A son of an ogre. Okay, Phil seems like he has repressed perversions. I agree with >> Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. I totally agree with that.

[00:15:25]Oh, here we go. Hold on. Stay with me, all right?

[00:15:29]All right.

[00:15:33]Oh, boy. What's happening?

[00:15:37]What's he pulling up?

[00:15:41]Uh-oh.

[00:15:47]What's he pulling up?

[00:15:49]How's he doing, everybody?

[00:15:54]I'm not completely shit-faced tonight.

[00:15:56]I'm just having a good night.

[00:15:59]Hey, where'd John See how this goes. I'm glad it's working out well.

[00:16:09]I might have a little bit of burps.

[00:16:12]Where'd John go?

[00:16:20]So, apparently John saw me fall on stream.

[00:16:24]I didn't see me fall on stream.

[00:16:31]Everybody else did, apparently.

[00:16:34]Hey, sorry about that. Oh, it's all good, John. I'm putting the Oh, Jesus.

[00:16:39]Somebody's drinking.

[00:16:41]Nope.

[00:16:43]Skol! [laughter and snorts] Oh, [ __ ] Well, all I saw was O'Doul's.

[00:16:49]It was one six-pack of O'Doul's. All right, Vince. Well, do you want to come on? All right. All right. Well, you know, the next time you're going to send me something, just text me, please.

[00:16:59]Yeah, I know, but you didn't this time, and I'm sitting here going, "Hey, [ __ ] off. I I you know, it's it's I don't want O'Doul's. Are you kidding me?"

[00:17:05][ __ ] Vince, always up to some [ __ ] trickery.

[00:17:09]Oh, there was other beer. There was other beer in the bottom. No, there wasn't. It was a six-pack of [ __ ] O'Doul's.

[00:17:16][ __ ] Devin. Well, all right. So, let me just tell you what [ __ ] Vince said. He says, "Oh, well, my kids learned in school to um uh you know, to send you uh you know, old tools."

[00:17:35]Lie.

[00:17:37]Kids didn't learn that in school.

[00:17:40]This is why you can't trust Vince the lawyer.

[00:17:44]And and before the people on Twitter DM me, there's like a whole big thing going out there now.

[00:17:55]Before the people on Twitter start [ __ ] telling me I told you Vince was a troll. I know he's a troll.

[00:18:03]Hey, Devin Alexander, don't send me old tools. I know that you want to please Uncle Johnny here.

[00:18:11]Just don't do it.

[00:18:12]Okay? I don't drink old tools.

[00:18:15]I don't like the taste. All right? Thank you. And I know you sent it with your dad's credit card.

[00:18:21]But Devin Alexandra, you have a great holiday.

[00:18:25]But don't let your dad manipulate you like that.

[00:18:28]Cuz that's what he did. He just he just used you guys to try and pull off some prank with the old tools.

[00:18:36]And the guy that came wasn't the girl that you sent. I'm not letting the guy scan my driver's license when I don't know who he is, and it's not who you ordered, and it's still fighting out there. John, that was hilarious.

[00:18:47][laughter] It was hilarious. Look, this is why you know that I'm not a phony.

[00:18:54]Everything is live.

[00:18:57]It's all just out here. It's To me, it's hysterical. And yeah, I can see how it looks like Barry Carvello, but it's funny as hell.

[00:19:07]You know, you have this. Vince doesn't text me. He knows exactly what the response is going to be. One thing, Devin, is your father's not stupid. He's a sociopath, but he's not stupid. He knows that when that guy shows up and says, "Oh, uh the girl that was supposed to deliver it is sick, [snorts] so I'm I'm doing it for her."

[00:19:35]Vince knows that that's going to be suspect to me.

[00:19:39]I'm going to go, "What?"

[00:19:41]Then when I look in the bag and see old jewels, Devin and Alexandra, then your father knows I'm going to go, "No, I don't want this."

[00:19:52]Devin, Alexandra, this is what your father does.

[00:19:57]And he could be a lovable guy. I'm sure he's a great dad, but that wasn't very nice.

[00:20:05]And now I'm not very happy with your daddy.

[00:20:09]In fact, I'm very angry at your daddy.

[00:20:11]And now I might have to block your daddy because that wasn't nice trying to pull some scam on me. So, I'm not very happy with your daddy. But Devin, Alexandra, you're okay in Uncle Johnny's book. So, don't worry.

[00:20:33]Oh, your dad likes to do these things.

[00:20:35]He's a known guy that does this, and I thought that we were all cool, but now I might have to distance myself from your daddy. I'm sorry.

[00:20:48]I'm sorry. So, I'm going to have to call Uber Eats.

[00:20:51]I'm going to have to call, you know, Amazon and everywhere else and say, "If this person orders me something, I don't want it."

[00:21:05]And Devin, Alexandra, it's not because of you.

[00:21:09]I feel sad, very very depressed that your father put you up to that.

[00:21:17]So, I'm just saying it wasn't right and your dad should be should feel bad about that. But now here, Devon, Alexandra, I am blocking your father. So, here it is. This is me, Devon and Alexandra, blocking your father. I don't want to talk to him anymore cuz what he did was unacceptable in my world and he put you two kids up to that.

[00:21:45]skull Vince, Vince, you're done.

[00:21:50]You're done.

[00:21:52]That was [ __ ] That was a [ __ ] move on your part.

[00:21:56]You got to stop it, Vince, cuz every time that I start thinking you're okay, you do something like that. Every other time it's Coors, it's Michelob Ultra, or it's a slice of stuffed pizza with nothing in it. But if you keep going back and forth, then I got to say [ __ ] off.

[00:22:19]And Devon, Alexandra, I'm getting off in my own show.

[00:22:24]And if it happens, you're going to love it.

[00:22:27]It's following me around.

[00:22:30]It's the Stuttering John world. Devon, Alexandra, this is your dad doing damage control now. What damage control means is he knows that was not right.

[00:22:44]It was a partial joke and he doesn't know how to type.

[00:22:48]But there was a there was Coors too in in bag. He doesn't know his prepositions.

[00:22:55]Either way, I'm just saying that Devon, Alexandra, don't make a joke when I'm live on the air and yet like you know that's not going to end well.

[00:23:12]Cuz I'm not going to believe the guy and who knows? Who knows what could happen?

[00:23:18]Yes, who are you? All right now, I got more beer. Hold on.

[00:23:24][ __ ] hell.

[00:23:30]Hi, it's Google.

[00:23:32]Hi, what do you got? Uh beer. What kind?

[00:23:36]I don't know.

[00:23:38]Are you Danish?

[00:23:40]No, it's Arrogant Son.

[00:23:42]What? Are you Arrogant Son?

[00:23:45]No, but then yeah, that's my friend. Oh, I need your ID.

[00:23:50]Are you from Scandinavia? No, from Ukraine. Ah, Ukraine. I stand with Ukraine. Thank you.

[00:23:57]I have two shirts. I stand with Ukraine.

[00:24:01]Can't you just see what kind of beer it is? Yes, it's Corona Light. Ah, Corona Light. All right, okay. Yeah, now I trust you.

[00:24:10]Thank you.

[00:24:12]I stand with Ukraine. It's horrible what Putin is doing. Yeah, it's so horrible.

[00:24:17]And I like you have a yellow shirt and a blue pants. No, it's just not just for No, I know, but it's horrible.

[00:24:25]Yeah.

[00:24:26]Try to take over a sovereign country.

[00:24:28]It's awful.

[00:24:29]Yeah.

[00:24:30]I'll be right back.

[00:24:32]Thank you. All right.

[00:24:34]Have a good evening. I hope you win this war. Thank you. All right. Peace in Ukraine. Thank you so much.

[00:24:41]All righty.

[00:24:45]Ah, [ __ ] Mhm, yeah.

[00:24:49]All right here.

[00:24:50]Ah, she was kind of cute.

[00:24:54]>> [laughter and cough] >> Gina Bobina All it takes is a female delivery. No.

[00:25:03]Come on.

[00:25:07]>> [laughter] >> Stuttering John just met his future wife. Come on.

[00:25:13]>> [laughter] >> Uh all right, Vince.

[00:25:20]All right, you're not redeemed yet until I get that TV. School. just a laugh, which I >> right. Hold hold on. Hold on thought.

[00:25:28]Come on in. Come on in. Hello. Come on in.

[00:25:33]Is this another delivery? Yes, sir. What is it? Uh it's some uh highlights.

[00:25:38]Some Bruskis. Uh Bruskis? All right, hold on, Bry.

[00:25:43]>> [laughter] >> Well, >> [clears throat] >> I don't even I'm not even touching this line.

[00:25:49]>> [laughter] >> You got to have priorities, bull. Yeah, that's good.

[00:25:53]And also El Diablo, you don't know John.

[00:25:56]You know, we actually know John on a personal level, and the truth is is that John is a great guy. John absolutely uh is is very very generous. When you're hanging out with John, oh we [ __ ] Miller High Life. Uh so, that's one of the reasons why we enjoy our time with John.

[00:26:13]>> [laughter] [clears throat] >> Miller High Life. Really? Yeah. Yeah, some friend. That that reminds me of like 19 >> Come on in.

[00:26:24]1976.

[00:26:26]That's >> [laughter] >> I don't know. I didn't order anything.

[00:26:30]You didn't order anything? No. Did they pay for it? No.

[00:26:33]Yeah, then don't worry about it. Get out of here. Thank you.