They're Lying. Mixtape Is Not A 10/10, It's Not Even A Videogame

Added: 2026-05-24

[00:00:00]I bet one of us dies this time.

[00:00:02]>> Mixtape is like a nasty case of explosive diarrhea. It stinks. It's embarrassing. And every time you think it's over, it just keeps on going.

[00:00:11]>> This year, I want to write a flaming stallion of delinquency.

[00:00:15]>> I've got to say, I don't care about the games press. These people wield the English language like a drunk orangutang with a machine gun. Still, I am more than willing to laugh with you when they do something as insane as giving Mixtape, this 3 and 1 half-hour long psychological torture experiment, a 10 out of 10. Normally, when I talk about a game, I talk about the gameplay first, but I can't do that here. The biggest issue with Mixtape is obvious, and that's that it plays itself. If you take your hands off the controller, it just goes. There are no dialogue choices. You don't really do anything at all. The extent of your gameplay is walking up to something and interacting with it. The closest we get to a challenge is having to put batteries in a Game Boy or using these sticks to control two human tongues. And and why is this in the game exactly? This thing getting reviewed as a video game and receiving a 10 out of 10 would be like a podcast winning an Oscar for best picture. I could get it if everyone went out of their way to talk about Mixtape if there was something exceptional about it. The thing all the reviews seem to praise is its writing.

[00:01:14]>> Mysterious. Cool. Just like your sister.

[00:01:17]>> Shut up.

[00:01:19]Shout out to that writer right there for for not letting me assume that the sister is cool, but like like directly saying that it's exceptional in the literal sense, but not in the way that you'd want it to be. The first thing you'll notice about Mixtape is that it will make 3 and 1/2 hours feel like several days. When I recorded all of this, I thought I was almost done. I really did. Then I closed the game and it said I'd only endured 108 minutes.

[00:01:42]That's impressive. The second thing you'll notice is that much like its characters souls, the game is ugly as sin most of the time. In its effort to make you feel nostalgic for a time period most of its target audience did not live through. They made the asinine decision to animate the characters at 24 frames per second. You know, like a movie, which sounds clever if you know nothing about video games. The reality is it just constantly looks like your computer can't run the game and it's really irritating. It doesn't look cinematic. It looks like something's wrong with it. The animations are also stiff and lifeless. And for a game that is almost entirely about its characters, they're almost completely expressionless when they talk. It's a shame, too, because some of the outdoor areas in particular have some really good-looking foliage, and the game has some very pleasing lighting, but it is constantly overshadowed by how hideous the characters are. And that is what your camera is focused on most of the time.

[00:02:34]Speaking of characters, the protagonist, Stacy Rockford, is unfortunately the most accurate portrayal of a California native I have ever seen.

[00:02:43]>> And then we did it.

[00:02:44]>> Yeah.

[00:02:45]>> Yeah.

[00:02:47]Nice noise.

[00:02:48]>> In that she spends all of her time talking about how creative and punk she is, despite having zero interest in creating anything of her own and doing nothing but judging other people for what they like.

[00:02:58]>> H What do you listen to? Just alt stuff, I think. Pearl Jam, Green Day. He's a meatthead. Use him and lose him.

[00:03:06]>> So cold. Stacy >> tells me everything I need to know.

[00:03:10]>> Stacy's best friend, Slater, is the archetypical high school stoner whose entire personality revolves around the fact that he likes synthesizers, wizards, and weed.

[00:03:20]>> This all you've got? No doobes?

[00:03:22]>> He's basically Shaggy from Scooby-Doo.

[00:03:24]He constantly says things that sound like if you asked an AI to say what a stoner would say. But he is somehow the least annoying character in Mixtape. The most annoying character is Cassandra, the goody two shoes friend who talks like a 38-year-old millennial with a degree in communications trapped in the body of a 17-year-old girl.

[00:03:41]>> This year, I want to write a flaming stallion of delinquency.

[00:03:46]>> Yes, >> I'm going to assume that you haven't played mixtape, so let me save you 4 hours and $20. The year is 199 something, and these three titans of teenage intellect are spending their last day together by trying to get as [ __ ] up as humanly possible. Our intrepid hero, Stacy Rockford, has assembled a mixtape of songs meant to be played in exact order that will serve as the day's soundtrack. The game begins properly at Rockford's house, where we are introduced to the fact that none of these characters are capable of maintaining a normal relationship with their parents.

[00:04:18]>> You called her sister yet? Is she picking you up from the airport?

[00:04:21]>> No. Stop pressuring me.

[00:04:23]>> Sorry, sweetie. Here it becomes clear how most of the game story will be told through flashbacks that are triggered by interacting with an object in the environment. The first one we are treated to is a disgusting faximile of Rockford's first kiss in which we control both of the teenage lovers tongues with these sticks on our controller. It is one of the most horrific things I've ever experienced in a video game and manages to significantly outdo the spec ops the line white phosphorus scene in its ability to make me uncomfortable. The developers must have known this because when they finally give us the option to make the torment stop, the button prompt is labeled that's enough. We then join the gang as they flail around violently to freak by silver chair. And we experience such riveting gameplay as pressing X to get Rockford to yell the word cheeseburger.

[00:05:06]>> Cheeseburger.

[00:05:12]We are treated to other incredibly interesting memories such as the time they rode a self-driving shopping cart down a hill. And that's about it. It is here that we learn about the road trip.

[00:05:22]The road trip that the gang was meant to be undertaking the following week. If only Rockford hadn't been such a [ __ ] as to want to pursue her dreams of becoming a professional playlist maker in New York City.

[00:05:32]>> So you fly to New York, you give this woman your mixtape, and what? She just hires you after she listens to the mixtape. Yeah. I'll become the world's foremost music supervisor.

[00:05:42]>> This is the major sticking point between the characters for the rest of the game.

[00:05:46]We can read some of the plans they've made for that trip, such as catchphrases they want to use, like eat your own lips or suck my butt. Butts sucker. Clever.

[00:05:55]We learn that Rockford's older, possibly lesbian sister is way cooler than her, and the gang resolves to steal her liquor. Here we are introduced to our main antagonist, Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed. Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed, >> who has done absolutely nothing wrong, but Rockford hates her because she's normal. This is also the most riveting gameplay we will experience in this whole thing when you get to put different colors into a cup by pressing the right trigger. I'm not joking.

[00:06:20]>> I call it the Robo Globbo slush fist.

[00:06:24]>> After rifling through Rockford's sister's stuff, we find a note stating that the sister saw all of this in a sort of psychic vision and preemptively left a huge stash of liquor and fireworks at an unknown location ahead of time. Now, we will need to take part in a great scavenger hunt to find this secret liquor stash. We have a flashback where we learn that the gang bonded over their mutual hatred of the picturesque, beautiful town they live in, which they call the big suck, and that they want to leave so they can have freaky sex.

[00:06:50]>> I want to try every flavor, see what I like, find out what turns me on. You know, sounds like sexual deviant.

[00:06:57]>> Snap back to reality. We head to Cassandra's house where we learn two things. One is that she is an excellent student and a star athlete. The second is that her ex-boyfriend was a total piece of [ __ ] for not wanting to dick her down instantaneously. What a [ __ ] [ __ ] That was actually three things.

[00:07:13]We then relive the night that Cassandra pressed right trigger enough at their principal's house to get in trouble and took the blame for the group because she ain't no snitch. She probably could have gotten away, but it's about the principal. Principal. Get it? Finally, we get a peek at some piping hot teenage drama. We learn that Rockford hates Jenny [ __ ] Goodspeed because one time Cassandra chose to hang out with Jenny instead of her. Oh my god, the tea. This traumatic event caused Rockford to get really depressed, turn monochromatic, and knock over every rigid body in the environment while she listens to Most of All by BJ Thomas. I understand, you know, with the subject matter of a lot of my videos, people think I'm a big fat [ __ ] chud, but you know what I really would like to see in a modern story? A female lead whose flaw is something other than jealousy. It's every [ __ ] time, dude. And I never hear the feminist types bring this up. Everyone's always going on and on about how people like me want every game to be giant robots with muscles that shoot guns out of them. But you know, I really think this trope needs to die. Also, Rockford is a straightup psycho. Your friends are allowed to have other friends. What the [ __ ] You could definitely say this is a sexist portrayal of a teenage girl.

[00:08:13]Anyway, more piping hot drama. Turns out that Cassandra's father, who is a cop, does not like her hanging out with two delinquents.

[00:08:19]>> I am sick. Sick to my stomach.

[00:08:22]>> I can never show my face again. She would have been in that bar all night if Tommy Brewer hadn't called me >> after everything we've sacrificed. I'd tear my heart out for that girl.

[00:08:32]>> You know that effort, the pain to to fit in in that precinct to try and belong.

[00:08:39]God, if they found out about this, >> it's her friends. They're criminals.

[00:08:44]>> She has a mind of her own. Her mother is objectively correct in stating that Rockford and Slater are criminals.

[00:08:50]Because in the very next flashback, we see them breaking into an amusement park and saying, >> "Spassing is dope. Crime is dope."

[00:08:57]>> Here, we can pretend to be Godzilla and activate the assam in which I think is meant to be a gameplay segment, but we can't really do anything. The gang hallucinates and rambles philosophically about how to optimize the teenage experience like they're a bunch of robots.

[00:09:12]just most of the time I'm wondering if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, you know, to have the optimal teenage experience.

[00:09:21]>> The teenage experience is unobtainable.

[00:09:23]>> Cassandra's father then interrupts our cherishing of a bottle of screaming peasant vodka, which is the best gag in this game, when he reasonably states his concerns that his previously disciplined and studious daughter will waste her time and his money when she goes to college if she continues to behave the way she's been ever since she became friends with Slater at Rockford. and he forbids her from attending this evening's party. His reasoning is pretty sound in that Cassandra has violated every single boundary her parents have set and he can't bear to trust her anymore when she can't keep her word.

[00:09:51]Rather than understanding that her friend's relationship with her father is more important than a high school party, Rockford guild trips Cassandra gets really pissed off that her friend's familial dispute has disrupted her playlist.

[00:10:02]>> You promised it'll ruin my soundtrack.

[00:10:05]I'm [ __ ] grounded. Sneak out.

[00:10:09]I wouldn't have to sneak out if you weren't leaving.

[00:10:13]>> Whatever, man. Just be there.

[00:10:15]>> And goes to get booze. In this game's continued misuse of licensed music, Rockford says, "As we continue our mission for booze on the way to Camille Cole's party, I require something that fills every possible spectrum of sound, causing the brain to superan aneurysm and explode and die. I feel nothing but rage." After listening to a really annoying Smashing Pumpkin song and being completely emotionally unstable, Slater and Rockford arrive at their abandoned cabin hideout and find a series of Polaroid fragments left behind by her much cooler sister. That when combined will reveal the location of the ultimate booze stash. Several flashbacks later, with booze and explosives in hand, Slater and Rockford are pleasantly surprised when Cassandra arrives, having decided that getting trashed is way more important than her relationship with her father, which I'm sure bodess well for the rest of her life. The triumphant moment is short-lived because Cassandra has brought Jenny [ __ ] goodspeed with her. That [ __ ] you know, the one who did nothing wrong. Rockford and Cassandra fight over literally nothing and she abruptly leaves. Suddenly, we are at Slater's house and we learn that he makes music because it makes him feel like he has a purpose in life.

[00:11:18]>> Daring today, aren't we?

[00:11:20]>> Then we relive a memory where he trashed a Blockbuster while drunk. This game seems like it was made by people who've never drank before in their lives, though, because it it's like Slater is absolutely tripping sack in this sequence. So, I don't know what he drank, but it must have been spiked with something.

[00:11:32]>> That'll be $7.95.

[00:11:34]And are you sure your dad loves you?

[00:11:38]>> Of course, the money. Sign for the money.

[00:11:41]>> Cassandra's dad knocks at the door, ripping us from our blissful memory of harassing retail workers, only to inform Slater's mom that the big party has been busted and that he's going to arrest two idiot teens for drinking in the 7-Eleven parking lot. Rockford knows what she has to do, which is destroy several people's homes on her way to save Cassandra from the consequences of her actions. She narrowly beats Cassandra's father to the 7-Eleven, where rather than running away, she dramatically takes the blame for drinking in public. Rockford is shocked to learn that yes, even cops listen to music. In 1969, on his second studio album, Canadian artist Leonard Cohen said, "Like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free."

[00:12:32]>> Holy [ __ ] The gang gives the pigs the slip, and they conveniently run into the 20-year-old party queen, Camila Cole, who parties with 17-year-olds for some reason. With Camila's party now busted, the gang's ratchet ass woodland murder cabin is now the best venue for this evening's banger. The gang is so excited to be back together that their E38 Beamers take flight. Now it's time for the throwdown. We take control of Slater and wander around the party while people awkwardly stare and high-five us until we've completed all the objectives. One guy jumps off the roof into a kitty pool and vanishes from reality completely.

[00:13:04]Camila descends from a UFO, I assume implying she has otherworldly charisma.

[00:13:08]All of the upperassmen at the party congratulate the crew for being on top, whatever that means. And then a rogue firework sets fire to the cabin, no doubt symbolizing the conclusion of the character's youth and their metamorphosis into adulthood. The game seems to disregard the fact that this pretty much exactly proves Cassandra's father's concerns to be correct. Then the game somehow manages to make Spellbound by Suzie and the Banshees boring, which I did not know that was possible. Cassandra's father is the first officer on the scene, where he arrives just in time to see his once diligent, upstanding daughter fleeing the scene of what very soon could be a massive wildfire that could claim the lives of innocent people, where she then threatens to commit arson if he doesn't pay for her to go to college.

[00:13:59]I want you to understand this ain't a catastrophe. It's a warning.

[00:14:05]Daddy, if you trap me here, this will only be the beginnings of my wicked ways.

[00:14:12]Cuz I'm angry and I'm wired and I'm fixing for a whole lot of trouble.

[00:14:18]If you make me stay here, I'm going to burn the whole [ __ ] PLACE DOWN.

[00:14:28]There will be patrol cars up and down this road. Get out of here. Go on. This is the right thing to do, apparently.

[00:14:34]And he caves like a total wimp. Then the gang flies through the sky. Rockford says goodbye to her friends. And that's the end of the game. What the [ __ ] I'm sorry, but Cassandra hates her dad for being right. And then when she rebelss and her dad is shown to be right, she threatens to commit arson and ruin her entire family's lives if he doesn't give her what she wants. despite the fact that he clearly set a boundary to keep all her dad told her to do is not go to this party because it would be dangerous and it [ __ ] was. And now she's like, "Damn, you're suffocating me, Dad. How dare you." She She's a genuinely horrible person. And this game is insane for having the dad basically go, "No, you're right, sweetie." at the end. It's not like he threatened to chain her to a radiator. He encouraged her to take a gap year, which is it's basically just a year where you do nothing anyway. Sounds pretty sweet to me. Every character in this game is so incredibly unlikable. I know I talked about Cassandra for pretty much this entire video, but that's because she's the only character who changes in any way as a result of the plot. Slater and Rockford remain pretty much exactly the same at the end as they were at the beginning, which is bizarre for a coming of age story. The core theme of this game is nostalgia. It's these obnoxious characters fixating on how they're going to look back fondly on this time later in their life and having deep and philosophical realizations about the fact that time indeed passes and you do get older. And the current moment in their lives isn't going to last forever.

[00:15:49]>> Most of the time, if I don't have music on, I get the panic.

[00:15:54]>> What's the panic?

[00:15:56]>> Like, time feels like it's drifting by.

[00:16:00]I feel like I'm wasting.

[00:16:01]>> It's called aging. How do you do, fellow kids? This is the most peaked in high school [ __ ] I've ever heard in my life.

[00:16:07]Nobody who was normal or who had fun when they were a teenager thought, I just want this moment to last forever.

[00:16:12]This is definitely written by someone who wishes they had a normal childhood because this is not how that goes at all. This is like a loser being nostalgic for someone else's childhood, and it's so uncanny and strange. The plot basically revolves around the fact that you should not spend your youth bettering yourself, but instead you should spend it being a lazy piece of [ __ ] and getting [ __ ] up. Again, Cassandra's dad is basically like, you got to stop hanging around these kids, their [ __ ] up layabouts, and you're a hard worker on a path to success. Then the game wants us to think that it's good that the high achieving girl decides to be a degenerate and all-around total piece of [ __ ] If she were able to handle those things, then her parents wouldn't even know she was doing them. That's how it works. I had a great time when I was a teenager, but I don't wish I could go back to being a kid. Being an adult is better in every conceivable way. Also, the reverence with which these kids treat drugs and booze is the dead giveaway to the fact that whoever wrote them was lame as [ __ ] When I was their age, it was as simple as, "You want to go smoke later?"

[00:17:06]It wasn't. Do you think Joanie McPlicerson is going to be at this party? It's been too long since I've tasted that fine devil's doobie. That is that is actually how these characters are written. It's like an alien saw a bunch of shitty coming of age movies, then tried to make a video game about what being an American teenager is like.

[00:17:22]Nobody who was normal in high school made these things out to be sacred. They were just a part of life. I did all this [ __ ] when I was a teenager, and my parents had no reason to be concerned because I was on top of my [ __ ] My friends and I were responsible enough to not cause a structure fire at any of the parties we threw. Like most coming of age movies, the message is just that being a total piece of [ __ ] is actually a good thing. What's even worse is the fact that this game manages to have the opposite of its intended effect on me.

[00:17:46]Where it made me go, nah, dude. You can't use that awesome song here for something this lame. When Spellbound came on just for these ugly [ __ ] to run through the woods for 12 seconds. When Freak comes on just for them to spaz the [ __ ] out in the car. It's like, dude, how is licensed music your gimmick? And the game you made makes me wish you hadn't licensed these songs. It feels like it doesn't even deserve to have them. And they do not, at least to me, work in service of the game's vibe. You should be tred and feathered for misusing Suzie and the Banshees. And I'm serious. Okay, so it's not really a game, right? It's more like a slightly interactive movie. The problem is there.

[00:18:20]It's a slightly interactive coming of age movie where nothing really happens and nobody learns anything and nothing changes. So, it's not even like it would work well if it wasn't trying to be a video game. I am genuinely baffled that anyone likes this at all. Even the people I know that really like walking simulators do not like mixtape. All of the positive reviews that I've read about this game seem like they were written by people who were weirdos when they were kids and this is their chance to simulate what they think the rest of us were doing, which is just really sad.

[00:18:48]It seems like they're not actually reviewing anything about mixtape really.

[00:18:51]Instead, they're just praising it for giving them the warm and fuzzies that fill a perceived void in their life.

[00:18:56]It's also really weird to praise something as a masterpiece because it made you feel nostalgic. Because that's just a gimmick. Particularly in this case, it's a gimmick that is mostly achieved by licensing iconic and nostalgic music, which doesn't really require any skill whatsoever, just deep enough pockets to pay for the rights.

[00:19:13]The fact that news outlets rate games on the American education systems ass backward scoring system where 70 out of 100 is the bare minimum instead of what the number should actually represent is in a five out of 10 meaning average is I'm sure somewhat to blame for the reviews here. They rate every game that isn't just complete trash somewhere between a seven and a 10. But like I said before though, I really don't care about the games press. The problem is just the fact that good games aren't getting made and these people reinforce all the bad habits video games have as a medium and discourage good things from getting made when they praise stuff like mixtape. They should be beaten with a leather belt for that. You can't trust the Steam reviews anymore either, which is definitely a recent thing. The amount of times I've found something sitting at very positive on Steam, but the overwhelming opinion from every person I know, everything I read online everywhere is that it sucks is striking.

[00:20:01]I am old enough to remember when a game would come out, wouldn't be optimized well, and would get mostly negative on Steam. Or a game would come out, have annoying microtransactions in it, and get mostly negative. Now, a game will come out, have zero gameplay, get clowned on by everyone everywhere, and sit it very positive. It's like this on YouTube, too. All these people who take themselves very seriously as game reviewers will tell you how something like Marathon is great. But if that was the case, then why does every single person I know who's tried it hate it and nobody's playing it? You can use as many buzzwords as you like to talk about why a puddle of vomit is beautiful or that it's it's a supermodel's puddle of vomit. But no matter how nicely you describe it, I'm not going to want to pull out a spoon and take a bite.

[00:20:38]There's not nearly enough discussion about how many things online are astroturf these days. And mixtape is definitely an example of that. I think people are slowly starting to realize how malleable the public perception of things is. It's a case of where, as I put it, two people said it, so now it must just be true. It takes so little for a business, a political organization, or even just someone with nothing better to do to drastically shift the public perception of what's true or normal with a few social media posts, reviews, whatever. It's so easy now to manufacture a sense of consensus that something is that absolutely isn't.

[00:21:09]It's really funny to me that the most interesting thing about mixtape is how many people are realizing that it is only receiving such rave reviews because it was made by a billionaire's daughter's production company. And the coverage around it, it's it's fake. The same could be said of most of the [ __ ] you see on YouTube, on Twitter, etc. I've said it a million times that the way you can evaluate a piece of art's merit is by what it makes you think about while you experience it. So, in a meta narrative sort of way, I guess you can say that mixtape is genius because it's making people realize how fake the dominant narrative often is and that you shouldn't ever trust anything that you hear on the