The Pratfall Effect is a psychological phenomenon where sharing personal flaws or vulnerabilities with others actually increases their likability and attractiveness, making people more relatable and authentic. In the context of modern dating apps, where everyone presents an idealized version of themselves, this effect suggests that being honest about one's 'baggage' (such as money problems, family issues, or unusual habits) can create genuine connections rather than rejection. The Skeletons dating app experiment demonstrated that when people are given a safe space to share their authentic selves upfront, they can form meaningful relationships despite their imperfections.
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Fixing Modern Dating | Rogue Psychology | Comedy Documentary Series Full EpisodeAdded:
My friend Isaria is a unique human who's had some trouble with online dating.
>> You've had some bad experiences on the dating apps, right?
>> Yeah.
>> Could you could you kind of go into some details there?
>> Um, well, I've had some interesting individuals I've met over the course and period of time. There was this guy who told me he was super dominant, that he was going to choke me, spit in my mouth, that he was going to give me the most pleasure I've ever experienced in my life. And then he got around me and he was extremely submissive. He was crying and he was telling me about the problems he had with his mommy and his daddy and he wanted me to help him.
Goodness. There was another guy that was like super chill and cool and I thought he was down to earth and he told me that he had the biggest and that he was going to eat my from the back like it was a super snack that he was going to lick it up that I was going to be dripping wet that I was going to squirtle across the whole entire room and then he pulled it out and it was like this big like and I don't know where that >> Aaria has clearly been deceived many times online dating which made me Think what if there was another type of app that could encourage more honest behavior >> because it smelled like booty cheeks and it was bedussy everywhere and he ain't got no I don't know why it smelt like badusy.
>> This is rogue psychology a show about personal problems and universal solutions.
The problem with modern dating apps is everyone presents this idealized version of themselves and it's turned into a massive waste of time for everyone.
What if we created a safe space where people can present their baggage upfront?
We've actually created an app called Skeletons where you can do that. So whether it's money problems, living at home with your parents, addictions, whatever, you can just tell people upfront.
Cuz if you can take people at their worst, you are going to absolutely love them at their best.
We think this app is going to save people a lot of time.
I mean, it depends what the faults are. If someone says, "Hi, I have an STD and actually I don't live anywhere. I'm homeless." That's very, very blunt. And that's saying right away, "Oh, this is not a good bet."
>> So, you think this app is a terrible idea?
>> I don't think it's a terrible idea. Um, I I know you can waste a huge amount of time on apps and it and and I haven't done it myself, but I've had clients and they were enraged about it.
>> What if a man was to actually post up what their penis size is? Do you feel like that would be something that would be a good idea for like maybe people to know?
>> I think that it depends on the person.
For some people, it's not important at all and for other other people, it's absolutely crucial, >> right? So, I mean, penis size could be the same thing as here's my height and weight, >> you know, where you put your height, your weight, penis size, you know, breast size, you know, all of that.
Those are just uh vital statistics for me. You're saying it's a huge issue.
>> Would you would you want to know like erect versus flaccid and like does diameter and girth come into effect?
>> None of it would be important to me.
None of it would be important to me.
>> No, I like I need to know diameter. I need to know length.
>> I need to know. Are you like is this or is there just like a whole forest that's in there as well too? Like what is going on? And then also I feel like you know do you do you want like there's guys that like their ass to be eaten so it's like that should be something do you want that to be known to everyone that looks at that app because that can also be when you're looking for a job they can find that too.
>> There's too much >> that might help.
>> Yeah. Depends depends who's hiring you.
With Cathy's endorsement, we decided to launch the Skeletons dating app and bring on a group of brave singles. The Skeletons app had a few requirements.
One, you have to upload your passport photo so people can know what you really look like. Two, there's a bunch of fun prompts such as my most toxic trait is in my medication cabinet, you'll find.
And three, there's a section where your ex can leave a review.
>> Are you on the dating apps at all?
>> I am on the front lines of dating apps.
thing about the dating apps is anyone on a dating app could be there for whatever reason they're there for. You have to have zero expectations that anyone in there is a decent human being who's going to correspond with you in a decent way. And then once you can get over that and just use it like a candy crush, like just novelty. Have a good time. Go in there, but don't put any emotion in or you are going to hate it. It's going to be the most painful, horrible experience of your life.
>> What's What's some of your baggage?
>> Uh how much time you got?
>> Backage. So look, I have a baggage. Why don't we if we presented the real Stewart? What if we just got your skeletons right out?
>> Well, I think my skeletons are my best parts.
>> Well, let's go.
>> Okay. I love picking my ears. Okay, I know sounds so messed up.
>> With like a like a like a a Q-tip, >> like something sharp. It started off with like pens. Okay. And then I'm like, "No, I need something that's a little bit more aggressive." So, I started using toothpicks like here.
I might even have one right here. And it just feels so good. It's like better than sex.
See how it's just like going in? Does it?
>> Yeah. It's feels nice, actually. Yeah.
Yeah.
>> You love it.
>> I don't mind it. Yeah.
>> You love it.
>> I love it. I love it. Yeah. Do you have any other >> You got a little wax though.
>> Yeah, I do have a little wax in there, >> but I like that.
>> Okay.
>> There's a phenomenon called the Prattfall effect. And the idea is if you share some of your faults with others, it deems you more likable.
>> I feel like I'm a feminist until the bill comes, >> right? That's a good one.
>> And then I just like don't feel like it.
>> Let's see. I've been in more superficial toxic relationships than Taylor Swift. I probably wasted at least 10 prime earning years of my life as a strip joint DJ. I'm a borderline degenerate gambler.
Let's see. I spend more money on Rogain Gain and Viagra than some countries do as their GDP annually.
>> I've dated women like 15, 20 years older than me.
>> Um, I wouldn't say I have like a preference to it, but I've been open to it.
>> Some women would probably hold the fact that I robbed a Brinks truck when I was 30 against me.
>> However, I'd be careful how you use the Prattfall effect.
For example, in a job interview, I wouldn't say I'm a kleptomaniac or I'm an infammaniac or whatever. I would say I'm a perfectionist. Try to find a fault that is minor.
>> Um, well, I was a lawyer at the time, but I robbed a brink truck.
>> You were you were a lawyer and then you said, you know what I'm going to do?
Brinks truck robbery.
>> Well, it's something I always thought would be pretty exciting, >> right? How did that go? I got recruited to be a part of a satanic acid sex cult.
Um, it didn't end up working out, but it was pretty crazy.
>> I was I say I'm kind of late, a little tardy, you know, sometimes, >> maybe more than sometimes, but I I try my best to be on time, but >> what's your background?
>> I'm Jamaican in the same.
>> So, Jamaican time.
>> Jamaican best. Yeah, I'm not.
>> I don't think I needed the money at the time. It was just a thrill more than anything else cuz I was still um >> the person who robbed the brink truck with me was selling heroin with me and we were making enough money to live quite well and I have my law practice too.
>> So do you feel like the heroin is why you decided to rob the brinks truck?
>> Yeah. I mean when you're on heroin you don't have the ability to uh feel. So you're almost like a sociopath while you're >> I find that sometimes when I'm dating one of the most challenging things is that men can't handle me in the bedroom. I'm a lot freaker than I guess most apparently and um that can sometimes cause issues.
>> All right. Well, I'm still living with my parents and uh with that being a uh where I'm working right now when it's not acting is a family business. So, I've got a lot of uh drama, I guess, stuck there. So, it's, you know, if you're dating me, you're >> dating the family as well.
>> Dysfunctional family.
>> Not dysfunctional, just a lot. What would your how would your ex describe you? Like what would they say about you?
One of your exes.
>> Oh, that she has a hairy [ __ ] >> Oh, never shaved before. Never shaved down there. Never shaved like my legs.
Never shaved. I mean, I don't have hair, but I've never shaved.
>> Say you have you have a big bush.
>> It's cute ass bush. Like >> sometimes when I'm bored, I just braid it.
>> Workaholic. I'm workaholic. Yes.
>> Workaholic. Yeah. I faced alcoholic for a minute. What was it like being a strip joint DJ?
>> Absolutely horrible. You see people in there with absolutely no idea how to talk to women.
>> Yeah.
>> There's a lot of human trafficking going on. It's an absolutely horrible horrible job.
>> Can we hear you straight from your TJ voice? Yeah.
>> All right. Coming up next, someone else's daughter.
>> This is This is a great profile, right?
So, you're you're weird as [ __ ] You know, you love you love picking your ears with something sharp. started with pens, but now it's evolved into toothpicks.
>> Oh, yes.
>> Um, you're a vegan. You eat and sell seaoss. Um, you you will peg guys if they ask, right?
>> Um, you braid your bush and you pull out your pubes when you're stressed uh with your hands. And then last but not least, you give golden showers.
>> I love it. Once people were onboarded and matched on our app, we wanted to put them on dates. Now, another feature of the skeletons app is that it suggests the type of dates people should go on where they could get to know each other in a more accelerated way. One date suggestion would be a therapy session where the couple would have to go through their recent Google search history.
>> Hi, I'm Dave.
>> Hi, I'm Diana.
>> Hi, Diana. So, we're all doing therapy together. You're going to go through some of our Google search histories.
>> I've got them right here, ready to go.
>> Oh, this is going to be interesting.
>> Another date would be attending a wedding expo.
>> Katarina, you're all I've thought about since I first laid eyes on you 15 minutes ago.
>> And lastly, there would be a date babysitting a kid who would ask intrusive questions about parenting.
>> So, when you're on this date, can you ask them questions though to see if their parenting values are aligned?
Okay, >> maybe push the envelope with the questions. Questions like, "If I was your kid, would you put me on ADHD medication?"
>> Maybe you could ask, "How would you respond if I dropped out of school and became a pad?"
Tough questions.
>> Okay. Can stress cause gray hair to spread faster?
>> My fourth gray hair showed up on the side of my head the other day. Concerns me. Curious. So, I wanted to know what it was all about. So, you're thinking a lot about aging.
>> You have some in your ears, by the way, too.
So, I don't know if that is something, too. Yeah.
>> Right. So, that's a problem, too. I got to go home.
>> You just don't see them.
>> Well, and that just ruined the next week of my life. So, and I've kept all of them. So, I have >> Oh, >> I have the three gray hair.
>> You keep them?
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> D seems surprised by this.
>> When I was 40, my first gray hair popped out of my head. And I can't believe that. I just remember that. think it's possible. Oh, no. That's just a cookie fortune. Sometimes I'll when I find a gray hair, I'll put it on my phone. Yes, I have a little vial just for fun of my first gray hair cuz I was so excited.
I'm like, "Oh my god, a gray hair."
>> It's odd to keep a a gray hair.
>> I'm an odd guy.
>> Oh, >> I don't know how you do the splits in the air, though, >> so flexible.
>> Would you guys ever put me on ADHD medication?
Um, >> I guess it's probably not our decision.
We would definitely go to a doctor and have them kind of, you know, assess and see if it's necessary. Um, but >> Mhm. If you needed it, if you needed it and it would help you, then yeah. But >> what uh what do you think about age gaps in relationships?
>> I think it's amazing. You >> think it's amazing?
>> Yes. Because uh everyone know what they want.
>> Okay, that's it. People have conviction of what they they want.
>> Yes, very much.
>> Yeah. What else do you like about it?
>> Energy.
>> Energy.
>> The younger man's energy.
>> Activity.
>> Yeah. Do you date a lot of younger men?
>> Uh no.
>> I date a lot of older women.
>> Yeah. You what? Uh what how is your experience? It's I like I like I like the experience. I like I like that they're more experienced. I like the I like the gray hair. I like um >> like how they carry themselves. Yeah.
>> I think the gray hair represents a shift into my the second half of my life.
>> Well, that's what midlife crisis is, isn't it? I mean, you know, midlife crisis is when you get to some point and you say, you know, oh man, you know, I only have half my life left. Have I done half the stuff I want?
>> Yes. I think moving into this second half of life sucks.
Um, full stop.
>> What would ease it for you?
>> Like, >> oh, just acceptance and just carrying on.
>> So, I got some baggage. You know, I um recovering from hoarding disorder.
>> So, like a compulsion to take objects into my apartment and it's severe difficulty getting rid of them. Um, it's like giving a piece of myself away every time I do. Um, something in my life happened where I felt like I lost all control. Something about taking electronics and vintage items and just collecting things gave me a sense of control in my life again. So, I uh my apartment it was very difficult to let people into my apartment because it was so full of things just all the way up to the ceiling.
Can scratching my ear be a disorder?
>> I really don't know if it's a disorder to be honest. To me, I like it better than sex.
>> Okay.
>> Amen. It's safer.
>> She likes BDSM of the inner ear.
basically.
>> Uh when we talk about compulsive behaviors very often they're to help you deal with emotions >> that are too strong that are too that are overwhelming you or things that you have to do but you get anxious about doing them. You know that's what obsessive behaviors are. They're like a pacifier for a neurosis. Yes. I mean, what would happen if um you didn't do the toothpick thing? All toothpicks were taken out of the world and you couldn't do the toothpick thing for three days.
>> Grow my pinky nail and use my pinky nail.
>> Okay. So, you'd still do it. What does the thought of quitting it do for you?
>> My heart right now. It hurts.
>> Right. That's Dude, mine too. Mine, too.
I don't ever want you to have to stop scratching your inner ear away from me with sharp objects. Oh my god. When would you guys let me get my first tattoo?
>> When would we let Avery get her first tattoo?
>> I mean, I don't know. When When's the legal age to get a tattoo? 18, I guess.
Legal age. I don't know.
>> Let's see how to go by height.
>> Yeah. What What's the tattoo that we want to get?
>> Uh, a butterfly.
>> Oh, a butterfly. An oldie but a goodie.
What if during bed this guy sticks his finger in my ear during bed, >> dude. instead of this and and I sort of make the transition from these toothpicks and instead have it more enjoyable in a way where >> more of a sensual experience.
>> Make it sexual and it's fine.
>> Feel erotic to you.
>> It does. It very much does. And I I don't want to also make my partner feel bad letting him know like, hey, this actually feels better than this. How can I get him?
>> Like an ear vibrator, but you don't know it.
>> Exactly.
>> Hey, listen. I'm willing to try if that's what we're getting at here.
This is the bobby pin. And this one is the one I love.
>> So the bobby pin because it has soft round tip probably doesn't get you where you need to go. Doesn't give you the big O. No.
>> But to me is safer and better. That I see no problem with.
>> Before you put that in your ear, >> what are you feeling?
>> I feel so excited.
>> Excited.
>> That's how I feel.
>> Erotically excited or just, you know, happy and like pacifier >> way possible.
>> Every way, right?
Okay.
>> Every way possible.
>> This is a totally pleasurable experience on every level.
>> Yes. Especially because you guys are here. It's kind of different, too, >> dude. Voyer ear jobs.
>> So, I I'm a little on the spot here, but it it's exciting for me.
>> We're learning as the session goes on that this isn't just an obsessivecompulsive behavior. It's an obsessivecompulsive erotic behavior, you know, and that that and erotic behaviors are very very hard to stop.
>> Yes.
>> You know, because they give you a lot of positives, right?
>> I don't think I ever want to stop.
>> Yeah. Oh, well, I know. That's why they're very hard to stop.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Can she do it?
>> Um, >> yeah, she Oh, yeah, sure. Sure. Do it.
>> I could do it.
>> Yeah, do whatever you want. Yeah.
>> Yeah. I do want to hold her hand. I want Yeah. I want to take a step towards this erotic idea.
>> Okay.
>> Dope.
>> Do you feel it?
>> No. But I can feel you feeling it.
>> Oh god. This is just >> I know exactly what you're feeling.
Yeah.
>> It just feels perfect.
It's kind of weird you guys watching me, but I kind of like it. It's >> Have you ever had one hold your hand for the four years?
>> Yeah.
>> I hope you feel pleasure watching me do this right now cuz it feels like I'm having like a threesome.
>> Can we try something? Sure.
>> But I'm going to get closer to you.
Okay.
>> Okay. I'm going to kind of hold you in a way.
>> Okay.
>> Okay. But take it out first cuz I'm scared. Like this. Like if you if it was like this, like do it.
>> Well, you two have learned a lot about each other.
>> If I dropped out of school and I became ahead, what would my punishment be >> when Yeah.
>> Sounds like you're punishing yourself, right?
>> Yeah, exactly. You're like already ruining your own life. Um, >> I would cuddle naked with her while she scratches her inner ear, while I look for gray hair.
>> Yes.
>> So, did you find this experience was a worthwhile one?
>> 100%.
>> I like it. I would have a psychiatrist or therapist sit down on all my first dates.
>> I was literally hoping I hope this guy is as weird as me.
>> Isn't that interesting? And the moment he just started talking, I was I already knew he was >> right. And it and it and it gave you acceptance. It's like I can I can do this.
>> I felt more comfortable.
>> So, would you guys want to go on a second date or I hope I'm not putting you on spot.
>> That's okay. I would date. I'm an adult.
>> Well, okay. Great. Okay. I'm really really glad that that this happened and it's the skeletal dating thing I thought was honestly a crazy idea and it's actually much more interesting than I thought.
>> You can keep this.
>> Thank you.
posterly. I will.
>> Yeah.
>> Surprisingly, the dates went well for everyone. So, this made me think, could The skeleton's dating app save online dating?
Who knows? But it did show us that in this overcurated world where everyone is displaying the most pristine version of themselves, people are open to sharing their baggage. You just have to create a safe space for them to do so.
Why is that? Because sharing your [ __ ] feels good, especially in a world where everyone is pretending to be perfect.
Well, I just put it out there as it is, you know? I figured I'd just let it be known who I am. Um, I am a possessive individual. So, like once we're in a relationship, that's it. We're together and if you try to leave me, it's death.
You know, I had a couple of really interesting individuals. One guy wanted me to come over to pee on him. And I thought that was a very interesting thing and I was like, that's not for me, but maybe for you. I'm not liking any of them. None of these matches are going for me. It's a no. There was another one that came and said that he wants to be the monster in my closet, and I was like, that's a little weird. Maybe I should make sure that I don't have my address associated with this. He said, there's another one. This guy, he's like, I want you to concentrate on the first three words of the sentence, which I want you.
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