I'm Not Boring, I Just Hate Small Talk

Added: 2026-05-19

[00:00:00]Small talk is the actual worst. Isn't that right, Gerald?

[00:00:10]It's day nine of my speaking challenge where I practice speaking every day while playing Minecraft.

[00:00:17]Today we're talking about small talk.

[00:00:24]We're going to talk about what it actually is, why we do it, [snorts] and why it's so hard.

[00:00:37]And then uh I might go over some tips of how to improve since we all find ourselves having to engage in small talk. Usually, it's not something we can escape, unfortunately.

[00:00:53]I'm collecting sand so that I can build a big giant glass dome. Well, with an opening so that the creepers that I spawn and name tag can fall down into them. And I'm going to collect a big ball of creepers cuz I want to.

[00:01:14]So, what actually is small talk?

[00:01:20]We all kind of know the gist of it. It's that light fluffy conversation that we end up having with people either to fill the silence or because they started it.

[00:01:41]It's Hey, how are you doing? I'm doing good.

[00:01:45]How are you? Uh, good. And then where do you go from there?

[00:01:50]>> [snorts] >> or what nice weather we're having. It sure has been. It's been nice and sunny.

[00:02:00]It It's actually the worst. I can't even pretend to do it because I hate it.

[00:02:05][snorts] but is actually I guess small talk is just any lighter conversation that doesn't uh include deeper topics.

[00:02:21]So in that sense maybe sometimes I do enjoy it because there are some lighter topics that I like talking about like hobbies that I I enjoy things that I'm passionate about.

[00:02:34]Does that include as is is that included [snorts] in small talk? I guess so.

[00:02:41][snorts] But maybe there's different levels of small talk. You know what I'm saying? Like the basic small talk that everybody does kind of.

[00:02:53]And then maybe uh once you find a topic you're interested in even though it's maybe doesn't feel like small talk, it's still lighter topic.

[00:03:05]I don't know. What do you guys think?

[00:03:07]What do you think is what do you consider small talk to me?

[00:03:14]Well, I guess it could be weather. Or it could be work. It's usually work, weather, how you doing.

[00:03:30]And [snorts] people often ask you about your family or what your interests, maybe what your hobbies are. Or another big one is what your plans are for the day or for the weekend. Like when you go to the doctor's office, they pretty much 10 out of 10 times they'll ask you if you have any plans for the rest of the day. And I I bite my tongue because I just want to say, "Well, or any fun plans for the rest of the day, you know, and I I want to say not engaging in this conversation anymore."

[00:04:04]That that sounds pretty fun.

[00:04:09]Yeah. Why? Why [snorts] is small talk so hard? I asked you guys this question on Discord earlier and a lot of you had some really good answers.

[00:04:20]Like you often struggle with small talk because you just don't know how to relate to what they're talking about.

[00:04:29]That's a big one.

[00:04:32]If it's a a hobby or an interest that you just don't know anything about, how are you going to contribute to that conversation?

[00:04:43]Or it's hard because you just you don't know what to say? You don't know what question to ask or [snorts] how to respond to their question. Like once we get past the initial, how are you? I'm good.

[00:05:00]you don't know what to say next. So then there's silence and it's awkward and silence is scary and so we just feel that awkward silence and we just don't know how to continue on and so that's why we don't like small talk.

[00:05:23]Maybe you guys just prefer deeper conversation here. You just want to skip all the fluff and get down into the nitty-gritty. Cut to the chase. Don't waste my time with topics and discussion that doesn't matter. Maybe that's one reason why you don't like small talk.

[00:05:46]Maybe it feels fake to you.

[00:05:50]Maybe you just are desiring that genuine connection and not the lighter light-hearted um [snorts] conversation that just doesn't go anywhere. It doesn't have as much purpose or meaning. It feels like [snorts] maybe you're just bored. You don't care about the topic they're talking about.

[00:06:16]That's real. I've been there.

[00:06:18]>> [snorts] >> trying to think of one a time. But maybe I block it out of my memory because it's just not important.

[00:06:32]So why do we do it? Why do we engage in small talk? Why do we have to Why is it important? Well, small talk can be a way to kind of feel people out.

[00:06:47]>> [snorts] >> See if there's a connection worth pursuing there.

[00:06:54]Did I use up? Oh, good. I have more shovels.

[00:06:57][snorts] We as humans all desire connection.

[00:07:02]Connection is important.

[00:07:05][snorts] And so that's why we start with a lighter topic because most of the time it's not socially acceptable to just dive into a deep conversation with a total stranger. Sometimes it might work, but [snorts] usually usually people don't do that.

[00:07:33]Maybe we do small talk to actually avoid the deeper connection or not connection, the deeper conversation.

[00:07:43]Some days you might just not feel like getting into it. You might not feel like having a deeper discussion. That's totally fine. We all have those days.

[00:07:56]We just want to keep it light.

[00:08:00]light and breezy.

[00:08:03]So maybe that's why sometimes we do small talk.

[00:08:09][snorts] Or maybe we just don't connect with the person. we don't have [snorts] that deeper connection and so we just keep things lighter and we're maybe just trying to get through the conversation with the person because we just don't have a connection. These are all valid reasons why we [snorts] have to or do engage in small talk and unfortunately it's just not something that we can escape.

[00:08:44]So, if we have to do it, might as well be prepared. Might as well have some tips and tricks when it comes to small talk.

[00:08:59][snorts] It's not a bad idea to plan ahead of time if you're the type of person that freezes in the moment and can't think of what to say. Like I I do that. It's not a bad idea to plan ahead of time. Plan questions.

[00:09:19]Let's see. Did I bring I'll just do this.

[00:09:28]I've definitely done that before when I know I'm going to to a social engagement and I I can kind of predict what people are going to ask me. Sometimes I've come up with responses before I've talked to them before the event.

[00:09:49]People People like humor.

[00:09:53]So if you can come up with a witty response to a boring question, awesome.

[00:10:04]People love to talk about themselves.

[00:10:06]So, if you can figure out what those people like and then ask them questions about that.

[00:10:16]Now, if you're like me, it's might be hard to come up with questions, especially on the spot. But [snorts] I think with practice, you can get better at it.

[00:10:32]Cuz we can treat it like a skill, something to get better at.

[00:10:37]And maybe that would take away some of the fear behind it if we almost treat it like a game where we have to level up.

[00:10:44]>> [snorts] >> I hear bad things nearby, but I don't know where. Oh, I do know where.

[00:10:58]So, maybe we can reshape the way that we think about small talk. If we treat it like a game or if we treat it as an opportunity to find a friend, maybe that would take away some of the scariness behind it. Maybe that would take away some of the Maybe that would just change the way that we think about it so that we view it in a positive light instead of a negative one.

[00:11:34]And when you're coming up with questions, it's better to ask open-ended questions instead of yes or no questions.

[00:11:42]Because if you ask yes or no questions, then that doesn't get the person talking.

[00:11:49]That leads to more awkward silences.

[00:11:54]So ask open-ended questions if you can.

[00:11:58]And like I said, people love talking about themselves.

[00:12:02]And if you're like me and don't like small talk and get the other person talking, then you don't have to pro tip.

[00:12:20]What else?

[00:12:22]Oh, definitely have an exit line planned out ahead of time. So if it goes bad, if you're just like, "Get me out of here."

[00:12:34]You have a line planned ahead of time to get you out of the situation.

[00:12:41]Like something just something like, "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you, but I actually have to go now to be very blunt."

[00:12:53]Or you can plan something out a little bit different.

[00:12:58]Hey, my friend is actually expecting me, so I'm going to have to go now. You know, don't lie, but [snorts] just have an exit line planned.

[00:13:11]Or like my social capacity meter is full and you are draining me, so bye. No, don't be mean.

[00:13:24]But yeah, small talk.

[00:13:29]What do you guys think?

[00:13:32]Do you enjoy it? Do you absolutely hate it?

[00:13:36]Probably depends.

[00:13:39]Depends on the day. Probably for some of you.

[00:13:51]Have you ever gone the opposite direction when you see somebody you know because you want to avoid small talk?

[00:13:58]That describes my life.

[00:14:01]Anybody relate to that?

[00:14:10]But if we have to do it, we might as well be prepared, right?

[00:14:19]>> [snorts] >> And that'll do it. I'm going to eat this bread.

[00:14:30]And thank you guys so much for your support. I love reading your comments every day. This journey, honestly, I think is starting to change my life.

[00:14:40]I look forward every day to reading your encouraging comments and I just can't believe how many of you guys can relate to this. I can't believe how many people actually watch these videos [gasps] and I created it. I created a discord if you guys are interested in having fun discussions uh with like-minded people. We also share fun pictures of pets and just memes and random things like that. It's It's really fun and I've I've enjoyed interacting with you guys.

[00:15:20]So, go conquer your small talk fear and I'll see you back tomorrow. Bye.