Physicist Claims He Found God—Comedian Has Hilarious Response

[00:00:00]Headline number one, physicist believes he has located God. Unfortunately, they are around 439 billion trillion kilometers away.

[00:00:13]All right.

[00:00:16]So much to break down on this one.

[00:00:18]Uh first of all, I guess they didn't want to I guess this physicist did not want to offend God, so they decided to give God pronouns.

[00:00:27]>> Oh, that's right. Yes. Yes, Chanel. Uh this physicist also, completely unrelated, definitely did not take DMT for the first time earlier that morning.

[00:00:37]And then looked out at the vastness >> [laughter] >> of space and goes, "Yeah, right there.

[00:00:42]That's him. Where's Waldo? Got him."

[00:00:46]>> YEAH. WHICH NOBODY SHOULD DO, BUT >> HOW did he come up with the number, though? How did he come up with 400 439 billion trillion? Like, how do you do that?

[00:00:57]>> Yeah, I don't know. All I know is that it's illegal for us to not trust the science after the great cataclysm of 2020 and you know, Fauci told me that an attack on scientists is an attack on science itself. So, there far be it from from me, just the lay comedian who went to a public school in Jersey, to suggest that this guy is full of it. But hey, you know, if if God is [laughter] 430 thousand trillion billion miles away, you know, I'm at least happy that that he's there and he's enjoying us.

[00:01:29]And uh he he he loves us from that far away. Just goes to show the the immense power of of God's love.

[00:01:38]>> Yes. Um well, I I still want to ask, though, what do you do with this information? Um I think someone someone asked that about some other very obscure scientific finding. This falls, it feels like, in that bucket. Once you know this, what do you do with it?

[00:01:54]>> AH, SOMEBODY'S BEEN WATCHING MY SET, CHANEL. I appreciate it. Yes, this is my whole problem with everything at all times. Congrats, aliens are real. That's awesome. Is [laughter] my mortgage still due on Monday? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION?

[00:02:06]YOU KNOW, LIKE, "HEY, GOD God is real and he's only 500 trillion billion miles away." It's like, "All right, EVERYBODY HOP IN MY JEEP. WE'RE WE'RE GOING TO TAKE IT ON A ROAD TRIP." WHAT DO WE DO?

[00:02:16]PARALYZING. WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS? HOW DO YOU DO YOUR JOB FOR A LIVING? I I NEED TO TURN OFF FROM THE NEWS at times and be like, "YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY.

[00:02:24]WATERMELON IS $9. I'll come BACK IN THE >> [laughter] >> OH, NO.

[00:02:32]ALL RIGHT. WELL, it leads us to a more Let's go back to it. Let's Let's get back to Earth. Here's a more earthly headline. Headline number two. German museum worker fired after sneaking own painting onto display.

[00:02:49]I wonder what it looked like. Oh.

[00:02:52]I guess he was rightly fired for cause, right?

[00:02:56]>> For sure, but also, you know what? Game recognize game. Throw it up there. Why does Why does one person's painting mean more than somebody else's painting? I can't tell a Rembrandt from from a from a Renoir from a from a renovation art piece within a you know, an Art Deco installation. I'm just saying words. I have no idea what any of these things mean. Every time I go to something in some city and I'm looking at some Restoration Hardware thing. I'm like, "Wow, that's pretty cool. What is that?" Oh, that's That's repurposed steel and a and a you know, an ox skull.

[00:03:28]That's awesome. Oh, it costs $17,000.

[00:03:31]>> You started critiquing. Hold on.

[00:03:34]You started critiquing and I was with you until you started saying Renoir and Rembrandt. I was like, "Those are objectively amazing artists." If you started critiquing modern art and whatever is going on in Germany here, I would agree with you. But, don't throw Renoir and Rembrandt in with this random German museum worker, you would definitely be able to tell the difference.

[00:03:56]>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE, CHANEL, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT USA idea is gone and we're not trying to to promote communism and everything all over the planet. What's what's art and what's not? ALL OF A SUDDEN, BEYONCé IS NOT WINNING COUNTRY MUSIC awards anymore.

[00:04:10]SO, I KNOW MAYBE WE WE ALL NEED TO TAKE A STEP BACK AND [laughter] and look at our INHERENT BIAS. JACKSON POLLOCK, IT TURNS out we've admitted was a CIA operation to mess with the Russians.

[00:04:21]THEY WERE LIKE, "PEOPLE ACTUALLY UP OVER THERE?"

[00:04:23]>> RIGHT.

[00:04:24]>> RIGHT? SO, LIKE I I YOU KNOW >> THAT YOU BROUGHT THAT UP. WE SHOULD DO A WHOLE segment on that. I don't know. So, so okay, so Jackson Pollock, Jack the Dripper, right? Yes, now we've confirmed he was a CIA guy meant to mess with the Russians and the Russians, of course, you know, power to them, they are have they are beautiful artists, very dramatic, depressed, dark artists. They have beautiful music and literature and their art is beautiful. And for them to just look over here and look at Jackson Pollock, I think we're still messing with them with our modern art.

[00:04:57]>> Well, imagine this guy. This guy's over here well looking at Jackson Pollock on display all day and he's like, "I can do that." And he's throwing his art pieces up there. He probably looks at Twitter and sees those guys who just spin the wheels of paint trying to sell sell those things for $20,000 each and he's like, "You know what? Nobody's going to notice." And he was right. It took them [laughter] it took them months FOR THEM TO FIND OUT. IT TOOK THEM MONTHS. SO, HE SHOT his shot and hey, he got his he got his work in the museum. Good for him, man.

[00:05:25]>> Ultimately, I think what we're going to find out down the road into the future that, you know, all art is at this point just a money laundering operation for the intelligence world and it fits. It makes it it does a great job at that.

[00:05:40]>> Well, you don't think somebody's paying $15,000 for a duct tape banana on a wall, Chanel? How dare you?

[00:05:47]>> 15,000? No, try several million. Try 15 million. Look at that.

[00:05:51]>> 15 million was a >> The art world is crazy. And it's the number it's the number what No, it was I don't know if it was 15 million, but the prices in the art world are patently absurd. They're just not they don't Speaking of not being of Earth, they're not earthly numbers. And so >> What's that?

[00:06:07]>> you know, it is the number one money laundering outfit in the world.

[00:06:13]>> Yeah, just ask Hunter Biden.

[00:06:17]>> Exactly.

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