A lot of people think boundaries are just about learning how to say no or communicate better

Added: 2026-05-23

[00:00:00]So the hardest part about boundaries is not necessarily in setting the boundary or communicating it, even though those are important pieces, [clears throat] but it's in the maintenance of the boundaries, maintaining it over time.

[00:00:10]You need a certain amount of stamina for it because it can really take a toll.

[00:00:14]When people start to push back or give a guilt trip, uh they no longer are being accommodated in some way and you're shifting things, then they have to now adjust and it's often not very comfortable for them or they don't understand it. And so they give that little bit of push back and that can signal to you that you've done something wrong, especially if it's coming from a place of people pleasing. And so it's kind of like when a child has a tantrum, it's really tempting to give in in the moment because it can be just so much easier in the moment to just make it stop, make it go away, give them what they want, right? But that's the problem that has maintained that in the first place. That's what created that sort of dynamic in the first place. So, we have to be willing to push through that discomfort and remember that it's not a sign that we're doing something wrong just because someone's having an emotional reaction over it. It's actually probably a good sign that we're doing something right. They're now having to make an adjustment that they didn't expect or that they don't want to make. But that doesn't mean we're doing something wrong. And we have to be willing to and able to maintain that boundary because if we don't consistently maintain it, then what we've set and communicated means absolutely nothing. And it just gives them a new goalpost or a threshold to push