"The Tokyo Correction" by Guy Meredith - A man confronts hidden forces shaping his uncertain fate.

Added: 2026-05-16

[00:00:13]Hello again.

[00:00:14]Remember me?

[00:00:15]No?

[00:00:17]Good. I was hoping not too many people would. Not after what happened last time I was here.

[00:00:21]Because whatever you might have read since then, it was all exaggeration.

[00:00:26]Fugitive painter holes up with Costa del Sol hoods? Rubbish.

[00:00:30]Extradition sought for el artistico?

[00:00:33]Well, it never arrived. That's all I can say. Passports ready, please.

[00:00:37]>> of the matter is that I walked back into this country of my own free will.

[00:00:42]And the only [music] mention of robbery was mine to the British Rail booking clerk when I asked for a ticket from Folkestone to London Victoria.

[00:00:48]>> [snorts] >> Prices have changed in 10 years, I'll say that.

[00:00:56]Anyway, I won't go on because a Mr. Guy Meredith has dramatized all this.

[00:01:01]I am once again played by Mr. Norman Rodway, while Reginald Quartermaine is ably impersonated by Mr. James Grout.

[00:01:12]Right.

[00:01:19]Craft 2.

[00:01:21]The Tokyo Correction by Guy Meredith.

[00:01:24]Starring Norman Rodway as Bax, James Grout as Quartermaine, Carole Boyd as Tessa, and David Ashton as [music] Bannalec. With Neville Jason as Constantine, John Webb as the sergeant, and Jonathan Adams as Dorff.

[00:01:46]So, there I was outside Victoria Station at 8:00 in the morning.

[00:01:50]I had my reasons for coming back, but for the moment, the best thing seemed to be to keep my head down, both metaphorically and literally.

[00:02:00]Pavement art, just as valid as any other sort, potentially more lucrative.

[00:02:05]Though slightly difficult to amass a portfolio.

[00:02:08]And deep gray over the mizzen mast.

[00:02:11]Yellow glow from the engine room and there.

[00:02:18]Oh, but the back isn't what it was, though.

[00:02:20]Perhaps take my time getting up.

[00:02:23]And what do you call this, then? Well, Turner's title was ship foundering in heavy seas, so I'm going along with that. All done from memory, any contributions gratefully received.

[00:02:32]Oh.

[00:02:33]Oh, hello, officer. I'll tell you what I call it, I call it defacing municipal pavements.

[00:02:37]>> An interesting alternative.

[00:02:38]>> it scrounging, I call it begging.

[00:02:40]>> Well, not really, I don't Don't give me your hard luck story. Company director just trying to reach his tax haven in the Bahamas, is it? I'll tell you what, I've heard them all.

[00:02:48]I'll just call in for your previous. For my what? You've all got them. Vagrancy list as long as your arm.

[00:02:53]>> No, no, no, no, don't do that.

[00:02:56]I don't know, perhaps I won't. Cover beacons. I think life is about to imitate art. What? Oh, oh, no.

[00:03:04]>> Or in your case an imitation of art.

[00:03:08]Someone will pick you up next time.

[00:03:10]Have a nice day.

[00:03:12]Hold on.

[00:03:14]Oh, come on, somebody, just a bit of small change. Discount for an unfinished masterpiece. Spare the odd coin.

[00:03:22]Oh, welcome to Britain.

[00:03:26]Stop!

[00:03:27]AND THANK YOU. WELL DONE. FINISHED THE JOB IN ONE. Plus the great fighting ships goes down with all hands. I don't think I can believe it. Oh, really?

[00:03:38]Well, much as I'd like to stand here discussing your credulity It's you, isn't it? Indisputably, but >> The suntan, the beard, but it's Adam Backs. Depends.

[00:03:47]Who's asking?

[00:03:48]>> Get in the car. Why? Are you with the CID or something? Look, unless you want to catch your death of pneumonia, get in the car.

[00:03:57]As it turned out, he wasn't CID.

[00:04:00]And not far across town was someone else who wasn't either.

[00:04:06]And I must say I'm very proud of my many years in the force, during which the name of Reginald Quartermaine has become synonymous with justice and retribution.

[00:04:17]How Scotland Yard will manage without these hands, through which few malefactors have managed to slip, I dread to think.

[00:04:25]>> [clears throat] >> In conclusion, I should like to thank you for what you so rightly term this inadequate token of YOUR APPRECIATION.

[00:04:34]AND BID YOU GOODBYE.

[00:04:39]>> [applause] >> Inspector Quartermaine.

[00:04:40]>> Ex-Inspector Quartermaine. Retirement must come to us all.

[00:04:43]>> Early retirement.

[00:04:44]>> Only six months, huh? Exactly.

[00:04:48]After a lifetime of dedication to law order and aesthetics, they couldn't even wait until my natural term was up.

[00:04:54]Perhaps if you hadn't been quite so insistent on the existence of an art to Iraq scandal. The scheme to name Gilbert and George as war artists was blocked at the highest level.

[00:05:04]And as a result, >> [laughter] >> they're still with us.

[00:05:10]But I have other plans, sergeant.

[00:05:15]Plans which include you.

[00:05:16]>> Oh, really, sir? Well, I'm not averse to the odd spot of gardening. Gardening?

[00:05:21]Can you really see me up to me knees in mud, wielding these primitive implements and a bunch of defenseless vegetables?

[00:05:27]Careful, sir. You'll bend the fork.

[00:05:29]>> We'll take your car.

[00:05:30]>> Yeah, as you like, sir.

[00:05:31]But if you don't want these, I'll Oh, you've dented the spade. Sergeant.

[00:05:38]>> Uh coming, sir.

[00:05:41]Of course, you wouldn't remember me.

[00:05:43]>> Nicholas Penhaligon. Nicholas >> No reason why you should. You must have had a lot of pupils through. I do recall teaching at the Holborn School of Art.

[00:05:50]Seems a long time ago, though. Ah, 70 to 73 in my case. God, the chance of running into you. Adam Backs.

[00:05:59]You know, it wouldn't be going too far to say you changed my life.

[00:06:02]>> Really?

[00:06:03]When I arrived at the Holborn, I was desperately unsure of my talent as a painter. And I endowed you with it? No, you persuaded me out of it entirely.

[00:06:11]But it was your enthusiasm. Talks you should give us there. Lectures on the British tradition. Ah, yes. Turner.

[00:06:18]Yeah, that's what turned me round to the academic side, which in turn got me where I am today. Right.

[00:06:25]Where are you today? Just about here.

[00:06:29]You'll see.

[00:06:32]Here we are.

[00:06:35]What do you make of it?

[00:06:37]Well, using the deductive techniques you've instilled in me over the years, I would have said a small office. Incorrect. It is a small suite of offices.

[00:06:50]Not the most central of locations, I agree, but very handy for the A2. Ah, Caesar.

[00:06:55]Small still the operative word, though.

[00:06:56]Would you put those things down?

[00:07:01]Mighty oaks from little acorns grow. The important fact is that Quartermaine of the Yard has turned into Quartermaine of the 50 square feet.

[00:07:10]From this central nub will spread a crime-fighting empire in two minutes.

[00:07:15]Spread to the times. Privatization, Sergeant.

[00:07:18]Here, read this.

[00:07:20]Your art security headache solved.

[00:07:22]Bothered by those Brueghels? Worried by those Watteaus? Call Quartermaine Fine Art Investigations on 081 624 3982.

[00:07:30]Plates in all the leading art journals.

[00:07:32]Impressed? Yes, sir. Except that I don't actually see a telephone. Capital investment, Sergeant. Cash flow. Vital to watch the expenditure. Of course, sir. So, you're setting up on your own?

[00:07:42]Not exactly.

[00:07:45]I was rather banking on you joining me.

[00:07:48]Me, sir, but they've offered me a position in traffic control.

[00:07:52]>> Position? One arm raised and the other flapping at oncoming drivers? Is that really how you want to spend the remainder of your career? Well, I uh Anyway, it's not important that you leave the police. In fact, it's rather in our interest that you stay there.

[00:08:03]We can always do with a little technical backup. Backup? Notebooks, pencils, and so on. None of it comes cheap, you know.

[00:08:09]Are you suggesting that I stay on The hard facts of commercial reality, sergeant.

[00:08:14]Forget this namby-pamby cradle-to-the-grave outlook. The question is, are the public at large to be protected from the backwash of criminality or not?

[00:08:22]>> Well, sir, if you put it that way.

[00:08:24]>> Good. In that case, I'll make you out a list of what we need.

[00:08:29]And you're in charge of all this?

[00:08:30]>> Went on to the Courtauld after Hogarth, then a decade or so around the provincial GALLERIES UNTIL FINALLY A MARVELOUS COLLECTION.

[00:08:38]ONE OF the nation's premier public request, or at least that's how we style ourselves when we are groveling for funds. But listen, about space >> Oh, just a little sojourn abroad. Does every artist good to have a change of perspective.

[00:08:49]>> For 10 years were you trying to disappear up your own parallax?

[00:08:52]>> [laughter] >> I remember reading your work was beginning to sell, wasn't it? Fashions come and go, and in my case went.

[00:08:58]This is truly fantastic.

[00:09:01]Fra Angelico, Poussin, oh, and I thought that would interest you. Ah.

[00:09:09]>> [sighs] >> Quite a collector's item in its way, not to mention our last major purchase.

[00:09:14]>> Turner, oil sketch for a deathbed portrait.

[00:09:16]>> For obvious reasons, the portrait was never painted.

[00:09:19]>> Look at the eyes. How sick he was already.

[00:09:23]Could I? Might I get Hold it.

[00:09:27]Go [clears throat] ahead. Go ahead. Just unhook the wire from the wall.

[00:09:32]How much did it cost?

[00:09:33]>> The wire, 50p a yard. The painting, £3,000 a square inch. Used up the acquisition fund in one go. Of course, we build it up year by year, but >> Whatever you paid, it was worth it. The detail.

[00:09:47]You must have the public queuing up when the gallery's open.

[00:09:49]>> It is open. This is a normal state of affairs.

[00:09:53]Here.

[00:09:56]You must have been away a long while.

[00:09:59]These days for queues, you need hype.

[00:10:01]And for hype, you need money. The punters read about 50 million quid Van Gogh's had disappeared into company boardrooms, and they want to know why you haven't got one.

[00:10:10]>> an historic collection.

[00:10:11]>> Maybe, but what did it cost? Next to nothing. Most of it was a bequest.

[00:10:15]That's not very sexy, is it? Sexy?

[00:10:17]>> Translate as if you haven't paid a fortune for it, it's not worth looking at.

[00:10:24]I'm sorry. Sorry. When I get on my hobby >> no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just a bit tired. Night ferry's hardly the best place to sleep.

[00:10:32]>> Oh. Then, take your pick. Of what? All the benches are padded. Down and out use them regularly. Oh, not that I'm implying >> Could I not quite as young as I was, I'm afraid.

[00:10:43]>> Nonsense. You've got some good years painting left in you. Yeah. But we CAN TALK ABOUT THAT AFTER YOU'VE HAD A REST.

[00:10:50]I'll be in the office.

[00:10:54]Thanks.

[00:11:05]And so, I dropped off under the red old gaze of the Turner.

[00:11:10]And I dreamed.

[00:11:12]Well, just a short visit, but why? Well, for a start, England's not exactly cheap.

[00:11:19]>> But the British tradition. It's what your painting was always about.

[00:11:22]>> Yes, I know. If this gallery wasn't so strapped for cash, I'd offer you a job here, even if it was just as a warden.

[00:11:27]>> You've been more than kind already.

[00:11:29]Here. Here. Drink this, too.

[00:11:31]You [sighs] really are hard up, aren't you? No, no more than usual. Then we'll just have to sort you out. As far as accommodation goes, I've got a flat up top, but it's tiny. Might be better if you slept down here. What? Well, wasn't the bench comfortable? Well, yes, but I That's agreed. It'll be worth it just to have an art lover in the place.

[00:11:50]>> [laughter] >> Meanwhile, for any immediate necessities >> Oh, no, no, no, no, I couldn't.

[00:11:54]>> Take it. Take it. 20 pounds is hardly a fortune. And as to sustenance, well, in the short term, read this. The Holborn School of Art has the pleasure of inviting Mr. Nicholas Penelec and partner to a centenary buffet party.

[00:12:08]>> It's fate, you see. You were meant to be here. To be held at the school on Tuesday, 25th of November >> This evening.

[00:12:13]>> 8:30, dress optional.

[00:12:15]>> Which would certainly describe your outfit. And are you going?

[00:12:19]>> Of course, I am. Anyone who is anyone at Holborn will be there. Although, given it's a centenary, some of the original pupils may be missing.

[00:12:27]And you should be the guest of honor.

[00:12:29]You deserve it more than Terry Harmon.

[00:12:32]Terry Harmon? Don't tell me you've forgotten him.

[00:12:34]>> No. I thought not. The Cockney Hockney.

[00:12:37]Oh, has he become famous? He's not quite as well known as Madonna. Madonna? Who's Madonna? Oh, dear.

[00:12:44]Magazine covers, chat shows, documentaries, you name it, our Terry has appeared in it. Oh, and he also paints, or used to.

[00:12:51]>> He did show definite promise, I remember that.

[00:12:53]>> Oh, the man's talented, no doubt about it. Though these days he hardly turns anything out. Doesn't need to, probably.

[00:12:58]More coffee? Uh well, no, no, no, no, thanks.

[00:13:00]>> Anyhow, this party's too good an opportunity to miss, so you be there or be hungry. Apart from which, you never know, you might make some useful contacts.

[00:13:09]8:30 it is, then.

[00:13:11]Uh look, I've got someone I should see.

[00:13:14]Um thanks for the money. I'll pay it back, I promise. You've already paid it back with your teaching. See you at Holborn.

[00:13:27]And so I set off across London.

[00:13:30]What I couldn't get over was that it was only 10 years since I'd been here, and yet it seemed to have changed out of all recognition. Ex-stockbroker clubbed by falling pound. Put a penny in the boiler, would you, gov? Everything was where I remembered it, and yet Mind the gap. Mind your bags. Mind who you make eye contact with. I couldn't help feeling that something criminal had happened. Not that my past was entirely blameless, but at least that was on a personal level.

[00:13:57]Anyway, as to my visit, it was the only contact I could find from the old days.

[00:14:03]But this isn't the picture I brought in to you.

[00:14:05]>> Madam, this is a restoration shop. If you like the painting as it was, you could perfectly well have kept it on your living room wall. That's not what I mean. This is not the same picture at all.

[00:14:15]>> Yes, customers are often surprised, dismayed even. You only have to remember the fuss when they cleaned up the Sistine Chapel. Should God have a pink nose? Well, it's the way Listen to me.

[00:14:25]The one I brought in was a portrait of a pair of hunting dogs. I was assured from the 17th century.

[00:14:31]This is two poodles from Boots. The canvas is even a different size.

[00:14:36]>> Shrinkage is not uncommon due to the chemicals.

[00:14:39]>> This is a disgrace. My painting may have been worth a fortune.

[00:14:42]>> Madam, if you would like the original back, I can offer you the oily rags.

[00:14:46]Beyond that >> You have not heard the last of this.

[00:14:49]Excuse me.

[00:14:52]Still up to your old tricks, eh, Constantine? I beg your Good God. Bax. What are you doing here?

[00:15:00]And how did you find >> Looked you up in the phone book. Bit of a come down from running a gallery, isn't it?

[00:15:06]Monsieur, at any rate, I assume you still got the two 17th century hunting dogs in the back. Almost hear them barking.

[00:15:12]>> I I don't have to tell you anything.

[00:15:15]It's you who owes me an explanation. I nearly went to prison on your behalf.

[00:15:20]>> Ah, so you got away with it.

[00:15:22]>> Got away with what? You were the one who got away. If Tessa and I had not been able to convince the authorities that we had a perfectly good reason to be lurking in a car on a deserted country road at 3:00 a.m. A reason which even now I blush to recall.

[00:15:36]>> Tessa, yes, that's who I've come about.

[00:15:38]>> Oh, she was a beautiful woman, of course, but she was married. Even if you were the husband.

[00:15:44]>> Constantine, what happened to Tessa?

[00:15:47]>> Happened? What happened to anyone? We strive, we struggle to make our day-to-day existence >> does she make hers? When did you last see her? I don't know, years ago. Why?

[00:15:57]This reached me in Spain. Must have been following me around for months. I didn't stay in one place for that long.

[00:16:02]Succession of ramshackle lodgings. Uh sort of no fixed abode. Petition for divorce.

[00:16:08]>> That's right. Left. [snorts] I tried to blot her out, but somehow I Did she talk about me? Oh, yes. She made numerous references to your parentage after we were apprehended. Are you going to contest this? I don't know.

[00:16:21]I suppose if you want a divorce, it's because she's found someone else.

[00:16:25]The truth is I just want to see her once more. That's all.

[00:16:28]>> Well, if I hear anything By the way, Bags, you're not still painting, are you?

[00:16:35]>> Not at the moment. Apart from lacking a studio, paints and inspiration.

[00:16:38]>> Well, if you start and you need a dealer >> I'll know who to strike off the list.

[00:16:42]Get down to Christie's with your 17th century hounds.

[00:16:46]>> 17th century, my eye. Someone had already fiddled the woman. They were worth less than the rubbish I replaced them with. Story of our lives, eh, Constantine?

[00:16:56]Goodbye.

[00:17:01]>> [music] >> So, that was it. I didn't have any other leads. There was still a couple of hours to the party, and my spirits badly needed raising.

[00:17:17]So, I decided to invest just a little of Banalech's cash. Excuse me, this is a theme pub and the theme isn't destitution.

[00:17:26]Naturally, one drink led to another and I arrived at the party a little late.

[00:17:33]What I would say is this, it is time for care, but not necessarily a time for loss. I talk as a dealer, of course, but this is not a message which would be lost on your graduates, Professor. No, absolutely. Artists are for too long remaining in ignorance of the market.

[00:17:48]You wouldn't launch a new car, for instance, without detailed research into what the public would buy.

[00:17:54]>> I couldn't agree more. The fact that for centuries painters have traditionally followed their own whims means nothing in these straitened times. To this end, we are introducing an extra module into the curriculum, marketing studies.

[00:18:08]>> An excellent idea. Um, if you need a guest lecturer.

[00:18:12]>> Of course, Herr Doktor.

[00:18:15]Who on earth is that OVER THERE BY THE DOOR? I can't think he can have been invited. Now, NOW LISTEN TO ME. I'M THE DOORMAN HERE AND I'M EMPLOYED TO KEEP the bleeding riffraff out.

[00:18:25]>> Oh, that's a sign of the times. In my day, RIFFRAFF WAS PRECISELY WHAT ART COLLEGES WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FULL OF.

[00:18:31]WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT'S GOING ON?

[00:18:33]>> FREELOADER, SIR.

[00:18:34]>> He's not a freeloader, he's with me. My invitation states Nicholas Banalech and partner. THIS IS HIM.

[00:18:42]YOU BLEEDING ARTISTS, BLEEDING PERVERTS.

[00:18:45]HEY, MY NAME'S COURTNEY.

[00:18:47]>> [laughter] >> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

[00:18:50]>> YES, YES. OH, that isn't champagne, is it?

[00:18:53]>> Not if you listen to the French.

[00:18:54]>> I'm sure it's an acceptable substitute.

[00:18:58]Thanks.

[00:18:59]I know. Listen, you see that man on the other side of the room?

[00:19:03]>> Yeah, I can see two. Maybe I should have some food.

[00:19:06]>> one on the left is Herman Dorff, art entrepreneur. Uh, what does that mean?

[00:19:11]>> About >> of everything he looks at. I wouldn't aim for him just yet, but the other one is the principal. The principal what?

[00:19:17]The principal of the college. So, I was thinking, what about trying to get your old job back? You know, an oblique approach. Crawl diagonally across the floor and kiss the hem of his trousers.

[00:19:27]>> [laughter] >> I'll leave it to your discretion. Look, I better circulate. You never know who might want to donate a couple of bob to an ailing public institution, but if you need A HAND >> RIGHT, OFF YOU GO.

[00:19:39]OKAY.

[00:19:42]It's been so long.

[00:19:44]Where is she?

[00:19:46]How is she?

[00:19:48]What does she look like?

[00:19:51]Hello.

[00:19:52]Where is he? How is he? What does he look [music] like?

[00:19:55]Forget about her, Adam. Forget about her.

[00:19:59]Oh, wait up. Oh, no, no, sorry.

[00:20:02]>> No, after you. Thanks.

[00:20:05]Are you famous?

[00:20:05]>> I don't think so. Why? You don't have a name tag.

[00:20:08]>> And I don't have my glasses to read yours. Judith. What's your connection?

[00:20:12]>> currently. I used to teach here.

[00:20:14]>> Did you win? Oh, long while back.

[00:20:16]>> Really? Then perhaps you knew my uncle.

[00:20:19]>> Perhaps. BUT WHAT'S HIS NAME?

[00:20:21]AWAY! AWAY! AWAY! AWAY! AWAY! AWAY!

[00:20:23]AWAY! AWAY! AWAY! AWAY! AWAY! AWAY!

[00:20:23]AWAY! AWAY! AWAY!

[00:20:24]MR. HARMAN!

[00:20:26]HOW'S IT GOING, YOU BUNCH OF ASSEMBLED MEDIOCRITIES?

[00:20:30]ENOUGH OF THAT. GIVE ME A DRINK, SOMEONE. THAT IS TERRY HARMAN. YES, SURELY you recognize him.

[00:20:36]>> A WHILE SINCE WE MET. RIGHT THEN, LET'S HAVE A TOAST. HERE'S TO HARMAN. HERE'S TO YOU, NOTT. AND HERE'S TO ME!

[00:20:46]WHY IS HE SO POPULAR? BECAUSE he's successful, I SUPPOSE. RIGHT, WHO HAVE WE GOT HERE OF ANY INTEREST?

[00:20:53]OH, OFF YOU, OLD BLOODSUCKER. DON'T I SPEAK TO YOU. Wait a minute. Who is this tasty piece of skirt? I beg your pardon.

[00:21:02]>> Not you, you old fool. I was referring to this young tart who is standing ignominiously by your side.

[00:21:08]>> know. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Now, listen to me. You call me whatever you like, but you can't charge in and talk to a young lady like that.

[00:21:16]>> WHO SAYS NOT?

[00:21:16]>> I SAY NOT.

[00:21:17]>> PLEASE.

[00:21:18]>> STAY OUT OF THIS, YOU. AND WHO ARE YOU, as a matter of not very considerable interest? I doubt whether your memory goes back beyond the last 10 minutes, so you certainly wouldn't remember me, but I am, as it happens, the person who probably taught you most of WHAT YOU KNOW.

[00:21:32]>> OH, IS THAT RIGHT? WHY DON'T you piss off and leave a collective sigh of relief behind YOU? PLEASE. THAT DOES IT.

[00:21:40]I THINK YOU NEED ANOTHER DRINK. HERE, HAVE MINE. OH.

[00:21:44]AND THAT'S EXCUSE ME, HERS.

[00:21:49]AND WHILE I'M ABOUT IT, thank you, PRINCIPAL HARRIS.

[00:21:54]AND IN FACT, WAITER NO, ADAM. NO.

[00:22:01]>> [cheering] >> I DIDN'T HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO THAT NIGHT.

[00:22:05]NO, ACTUALLY, I found the streets rather hospitable.

[00:22:08]They even bring soup round at Waterloo Bridge.

[00:22:11]And the occasional passerby gives you money simply for sleeping there.

[00:22:16]I did feel though that things couldn't get much worse.

[00:22:19]Naturally, I was wrong. Brown to live, blue to neutral, green and yellow to earth.

[00:22:29]There's nothing like the old hands-on approach. Now, switch on and Oh, no.

[00:22:40]Come on.

[00:22:41]Hello.

[00:22:43]Hello, Sergeant. Can you hear me?

[00:22:49]Yes, Inspector. No, you idiot, through the intercom. Now we've got the place fitted out. There isn't room for two of us in the same office.

[00:22:55]>> will the clients do then?

[00:22:56]>> We'll worry about that when we get some.

[00:22:58]Anyway, we won't be here for that long.

[00:22:59]As As as they franchise off the Met, then you think will, sir?

[00:23:02]>> Oh, it's bound to come, sergeant.

[00:23:04]Enterprise culture.

[00:23:05]I see you as director of communications, Capital Security PLC.

[00:23:11]Now, get out there and test this thing out. Yes, certainly, sir.

[00:23:15]Capital Security, or perhaps something with a bit more get up and go.

[00:23:19]The Takeaway Force.

[00:23:21]Law to Order. Hello. Look at there.

[00:23:25]Hello.

[00:23:26]1 2 3 That's it, sergeant. Excellent.

[00:23:30]Now, just talk to me naturally. Well, I thought I was, sir. Oh, should I read something? I've got the newspaper here.

[00:23:37]Yeah, go ahead.

[00:23:38]Uh 75% of new businesses fail during the first year. A new report >> Thank you, sergeant. That seems to be working nicely.

[00:23:49]>> [music] >> Next morning, I took stock.

[00:23:59]Whatever else I did, I had to apologize to Bannock for my behavior at the party.

[00:24:05]I wasn't at all sure what [music] reception I'd get.

[00:24:08]Adam. Adam, where have you been?

[00:24:10]>> I I look >> Now, don't bother keeping your voice down. There's no other visitors here.

[00:24:14]Guess who you've just missed. Terry Harmon. Who?

[00:24:18]Why? What did he want?

[00:24:19]>> Not me, that's for sure.

[00:24:20]>> Well, I'm not getting involved in a rematch. It's one thing when you've got the element of surprise on your side.

[00:24:24]>> No, no. He wanted to offer you a job.

[00:24:28]A job?

[00:24:29]What sort of a job?

[00:24:30]>> Personal private secretary. Personal private Is it a joke?

[00:24:35]>> No, he wasn't laughing. And he left you this ticket. Wait.

[00:24:38]Spurs v Arsenal. Admit one.

[00:24:41]>> Mark of the South Stand on the left-hand side, he said.

[00:24:43]>> But I'm not secretary. I'M AN ARTIST. I WAS his teacher.

[00:24:47]>> I know, and I can see it must be a blow to your pride, but these are difficult times. What are you going to live on?

[00:24:52]>> Well, I realize I can't go on scrounging off you.

[00:24:55]>> not the point. You need to make a new start. Look, I know he's not the most palatable of human beings, but go and see him at least.

[00:25:08]Oh, glad you could make it. You're a bit late, BUT WE'RE 1-0 UP. COME ON, YOU SPURS. LISTEN TO ME, HARMAN. Imagine fitting an easel in here, eh? TURN IT SIDE TO THE MASTER, be nothing on it.

[00:25:18]>> Look, Harman, LET'S GET ONE THING CLEAR.

[00:25:20]I CAME HERE as a favor to someone who's been good to me.

[00:25:23]>> Hey, if your ego to master could patronize me even further than you did yesterday.

[00:25:27]>> trying to patronize you. I'M TRYING TO SAY I'M SORRY. I WAS OUT OF ORDER AT THE OVAL. REALLY? What sort of order are you usually in? I KNEW AS SOON AS THEY'D THROWN YOU OUT I SHOULD APOLOGIZE. I was too legless to come after you. Then I found out old Bow and Lac was putting you out.

[00:25:41]>> Not exactly.

[00:25:42]>> Fact is, I am a busy man. EMI promotion, so on. I need someone to organize me.

[00:25:48]>> EMI promotion.

[00:25:49]>> HEY, DON'T KNOCK IT. LOOK AT THOSE GUYS OUT THERE. WORKING CLASS LADS, just like me. Enough talent to run around on a Saturday. But if they want to make the most of it, they have to be exploited on and off the pitch. NO DIFFERENT WITH ARTISTS. DON'T YOU WANT TO BE RICH OR WHAT? WELL, A substantial amount of cash wouldn't go amiss. WELL, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE RICH. I CAME FROM A BACKGROUND OF NOTHING. I'M NOT GOING TO LET IT SLIP NOW. GO ON. GO, MY SON.

[00:26:16]LOOK, WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS BACK AT MY STUDIO AFTER. IS THAT OKAY?

[00:26:31]THIS IS QUITE SOME STUDIO.

[00:26:33]>> YEAH. A top floor overlooking Kensington Gardens can't come cheap.

[00:26:37]>> What's money for if not for spending?

[00:26:39]You fancy one? What? Oh, oh, yes, thanks.

[00:26:42]And uh this is all work in progress?

[00:26:44]Well, sort of, except there's not so much of a progress as Dorf is always pointing out. Dorf?

[00:26:49]>> My agent, always on at me to produce more.

[00:26:52]Yeah.

[00:26:53]Still, you can't do both, can you?

[00:26:55]Promote yourself and paint.

[00:26:58]Cheers. Cheers.

[00:27:00]The talent's still there, I'll say that.

[00:27:04]Just like you said, I got it from you.

[00:27:06]>> No, no, no, talent's born, not made.

[00:27:08]>> [snorts] >> Some of the style, though. Still there, all those years after you drummed it into me.

[00:27:14]So, what about the job?

[00:27:15]>> I'm not sure.

[00:27:16]>> You're an artist, I know.

[00:27:19]Well, arrange it. Me, I won't take up all your time. If you want to paint, you've got nowhere else. You could use this place as your own. I'm hardly ever here. You could even doss down on the couch, if you like. Well, why me?

[00:27:29]Because I owe you a favor. And because we've got something in common. I mean, you weren't exactly sober yesterday, were you?

[00:27:35]>> I suppose not, but then I don't get abusive.

[00:27:37]>> Oh, you call throwing a tray of drinks over me friendly? I didn't I I didn't mean that. I meant it to the girl.

[00:27:43]Judith. Uh look, um I don't understand women, is that what you're going to say? As it happens, you may be right, but I don't think calling them a piece of skirt >> that wasn't exactly fair. It was a sort of an in joke. In joke? What do you mean?

[00:28:00]Judith.

[00:28:02]Thanks for coming.

[00:28:04]Adam Bax, may I present my niece, Judith Harmon.

[00:28:10]Your niece? I'm sorry, I did try to tell you at the time.

[00:28:15]>> [laughter] >> Your niece? Anyway, I'm glad we've met again. I understand you're going to be working for Uncle Terry.

[00:28:22]When she said that, I somehow felt I couldn't refuse.

[00:28:26]I don't know why, exactly.

[00:28:28]She was an odd girl, but not unappealing in a funny sort of way.

[00:28:33]Anyway, Harmon had been right about the duties not being very onerous.

[00:28:37]Fielding the occasional inquiry about a TV interview, and then sitting back to watch him promote his image. is that you've turned into something of a media star.

[00:28:46]>> Media star? Of course I've turned into a media star. Why else would you want me on this show? Talk some bloody sense, woman. I simply meant that lately your output has been rather thin.

[00:28:56]>> Because I'm a bloody genius, that's why.

[00:28:58]I don't just paint to order.

[00:29:00]If you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a bit >> [laughter] >> mainly by behaving badly, which was obviously something that came naturally to him.

[00:29:10]But the rest of the time I had free.

[00:29:19]Yes.

[00:29:20]Yes, a touch of ochre.

[00:29:23]Perfect.

[00:29:25]Now for the final Terry, be with you in a minute. You were dreadful, as always.

[00:29:32]Thinnest ray of light.

[00:29:34]Hm.

[00:29:35]There.

[00:29:37]Oh.

[00:29:38]Hello. Mr. Becks, isn't it? Mr. Dolf?

[00:29:42]Indeed.

[00:29:43]And what is this? Well, it's a Well, I mean Terry said it would be all right. Hm.

[00:29:50]Said what would be all right?

[00:29:52]>> the studio, his materials, and so on.

[00:29:54]From where did you copy this? Copy? I didn't. I just painted it. It is in Terry's style.

[00:30:00]>> It certainly isn't. It's in my style. I taught him his style. Really? That is extremely interesting. The resemblance is remarkable. Hm.

[00:30:11]What do you call it? The title?

[00:30:14]Well, I hadn't thought.

[00:30:16]Perhaps hopeful derelicts. Yes. Urban degeneration. I can see it now. That should sell. Well, I hadn't particularly thought about it.

[00:30:25]>> mind if I take this away with me, Mr. Becks? No, but it's still wet. Take care.

[00:30:31]>> I shall. I shall indeed. Are you Are you thinking of selling it?

[00:30:36]>> That, Mr. Becks, I cannot forecast. It is the market which decides whether an item is saleable or not. and the whims of the market are ignoble.

[00:30:47]>> [music] >> It only struck me after he'd left, but I hadn't even had time to sign the painting.

[00:30:56]At any rate, Dorf decided to put it in for an auction. And next, an item entered too late for the catalog, hopeful derelict.

[00:31:04]>> I wasn't present myself, though the sale was quite widely reported afterwards.

[00:31:08]Inspector, have you seen this?

[00:31:10]Well, business failures flatten out at 100%.

[00:31:13]>> No, sir. Auction electrified by last-minute sensation. 300,000, thank you, and I have a telephone bid of 310.

[00:31:21]Do I hear any more from the floor?

[00:31:23]>> Reported mainly on the grounds that it, as they apparently say, bucked the trend. A sale which was a beacon of hope in the glowering skies which hang over the contemporary art market.

[00:31:34]>> 740,000, are there any more bids?

[00:31:38]>> Of course, looking back on it, I may have been a little naive.

[00:31:41]>> Thus allaying fears of that worst of all specters, a free fall in prices. Resting with a telephone bid of 820,000 pounds.

[00:31:51]You set me up for this. This whole business about [laughter] personal private secretary WAS JUST A SHAM.

[00:31:56]>> MR. BATES, your conscience at least should be clear.

[00:31:58]>> Oh, let's not talk about my conscience.

[00:32:00]The fact is you knew I'd pick up a brush sooner or later, and you could pass it off as >> is that whatever they say, if I hadn't put my moniker on the bottom of it, that picture would have gone for a few hundred quid.

[00:32:12]>> afraid it's the truth. Life is unfair.

[00:32:15]It seems that you can paint as well as Terry, yet we have spent a great deal of time building his image, putting him in the public eye. This is what makes him so eminently saleable.

[00:32:25]>> You'll get your share, Adam. More money than you know what to spend on. But supposing someone finds out?

[00:32:32]FINDS OUT YOU DIDN'T PAINT IT.

[00:32:34]>> That would be well nigh impossible.

[00:32:35]Apart from the style, the canvas was produced here in this studio with Teddy's paints, Teddy's brushes.

[00:32:41]>> Only Teddy was missing.

[00:32:43]>> Missing doing precisely what he does best. Image.

[00:32:47]You are the perfect team. Teddy out there hustling, you back here painting.

[00:32:52]>> Hold on, wait a minute.

[00:32:54]What are you getting at?

[00:32:55]>> Having produced the first Harmon canvas in years, we can hardly afford to stop there. The market's appetite has been whetted, Mr. Bax. It must have more.

[00:33:04]>> We've got to work, Adam. Noses to the grindstone.

[00:33:08]>> Bax to the wheel.

[00:33:09]>> Exactly.

[00:33:10]>> [laughter] >> I've got to put in a lot more self-indulgent behavior. And you?

[00:33:15]>> You must paint. So, of course, this will be a delight for you.

[00:33:19]I paint and he signs them.

[00:33:22]>> [snorts] >> No, no. Certainly not. Adam, be reasonable.

[00:33:27]Hopeful derelicts was a success.

[00:33:29][clears throat] >> Yes. Now, you can either carry on wielding the brush or go back to being one of the subjects.

[00:33:37]You have to choose.

[00:33:38]>> I should think about it very carefully.

[00:33:41]>> Interesting little scheme, to be sure.

[00:33:42]>> Interesting, verging towards dangerous.

[00:33:45]>> You mean you're not tempted?

[00:33:46]>> I'm tempted. I haven't exactly lived a life full of the joys of consumerism.

[00:33:50]With the sort of money they're promising.

[00:33:52]>> Have you had your share from the sale yet? Oh, not yet. Well, apparently these things take time to come through.

[00:33:58]Ah.

[00:33:59]Old Turner again on his deathbed.

[00:34:02]What would he have done?

[00:34:04]Stupid question, eh?

[00:34:06]He had enough talent to make his own way.

[00:34:07]>> And so have you. The difference is that Turner was a canny old devil who knew how to exploit the market. That's all you're lacking. Maybe.

[00:34:16]Nicholas, I want your honest advice.

[00:34:19]What should I do?

[00:34:22]Rembrandt, you know, had teams of apprentices working for him. These days they're always de-attributing paintings.

[00:34:27]Half these self-portraits were probably done by his twin brother. Meaning?

[00:34:32]Everybody knew that at the time and nobody gave a damn. What's important is the finished result, not the name on the bottom.

[00:34:41]You're saying I should go along with Dolphin Harmon?

[00:34:43]>> If you take only a small slice of what a dozen Harmons could earn, you'll be able to spend the rest of your life painting or doing exactly what you want to.

[00:34:51]That had occurred to me. So, what's stopping you?

[00:35:00]>> [snorts] >> Hello.

[00:35:03]Hello.

[00:35:05]Major smash up on the Balls Pond Road.

[00:35:08]Nearest car, please. A what? Oh, uh Nearest car? Anybody there?

[00:35:14]Yes, um hello. This is Sergeant Wallace. I'm just stuck in a little in a very little Damn.

[00:35:22]Look, over and out. Back with you in a second.

[00:35:27]Hello, Quartermaine Fine Art Investigations.

[00:35:31]Wrong one.

[00:35:33]I've knocked off so much equipment.

[00:35:35]Hello, Quartermaine Fine Art. Yes, it's Quartermaine here on the internal.

[00:35:40]Any signs of life out there? Business?

[00:35:43]Customers? Not really, sir. No. Then I'm afraid I've got some bad news, Sergeant.

[00:35:47]>> Well, I'll come through, shall I? If I CAN MANAGE IT.

[00:35:54]MUST TAKE THOSE HOME TO THE GARDEN SHED.

[00:35:59]THERE we are, sir.

[00:36:01]Now, um if it's about redundancy I'm afraid so, Sergeant. Well, I could see it had to come and frankly I do feel that my work here is conflicting with my official >> Not you, Sergeant. Me. Beg your pardon, sir. What's the point of making you redundant? I don't have the money to pay you off.

[00:36:14]>> No, of course not. The only one with any cash around here is you, given that you're already on a salary. Yes. So, the way I see it, you fire me. Hand me some sort of lump sum. That's allowing my continued existence while business has time to pick up. You sure business will pick up, are you, sir? Sergeant, have you no faith? The media are full of continual assurances from official quarters that this is not a slump, that even if it is a recession, it's bottomed out, that even if it hasn't quite bottomed out, it's it's it's it's just about to.

[00:36:50]Sergeant?

[00:36:53]That's not you, is it? No, sir. Haven't touched a thing.

[00:36:58]Then it can only be Hello? Quartermaine Fine Art Investigations.

[00:37:06]Hold the line, please. We're a little busy right now.

[00:37:09]Sergeant, this is a big one. I can sense it.

[00:37:11]>> Then why don't you speak to them? We don't want to give them the impression we're short of work, do we?

[00:37:16]Uh Quartermaine Fine Art Investigations, we're fully employed at the moment, but keep holding.

[00:37:21]>> what if it's a wrong number?

[00:37:23]>> If this is not our call, they're paying for it.

[00:37:25]>> What if it's a wrong number that's stopping a real inquiry getting through?

[00:37:29]Uh Quartermaine Fine Art Investigations, Reginald Quartermaine speaking.

[00:37:32]We have room for you now. Who is it?

[00:37:36]Yeah?

[00:37:38]Yeah, you're speaking from where?

[00:37:43]Yes, of course we undertake foreign commissions.

[00:37:47]What seems to be the problem? Uh An artist called Terry Hallman?

[00:37:56]As for me, I was busy painting.

[00:37:59]The down-and-out theme had rather got to me, so I'd go down to Waterloo Bridge in the early morning to sketch, then back to the studio in the afternoon to transfer the results to canvas. I was so happy working, I hardly thought about the scam or whose signature was going to be at the bottom of the pictures.

[00:38:15]But then, one day 8 9 10 10 finished canvases. phenomenal. Well, not really. Terry can be >> Are you seriously trying to tell me that Terry's painted these?

[00:38:29]>> Well, naturally.

[00:38:30]Studio, his paints, his style.

[00:38:32]>> And you live here, you've got the paints all over your hands, and you were his teacher.

[00:38:36]>> Well, that's just coincidence.

[00:38:38]>> Adam, I can call you Adam, can't I?

[00:38:41]Well, it is my name.

[00:38:43]I smell a rat. These old houses.

[00:38:45]>> I smelt it when I read the report of the sale of hopeful derelicts.

[00:38:50]Terry hasn't actually put brush to canvas for ages.

[00:38:53]>> the fact that you haven't actually seen him paint >> he now, for instance?

[00:38:56]>> Recording the late show. Oliver Reed couldn't make it. There you are, then.

[00:39:00]Own up. You painted these, didn't you?

[00:39:03]Well, I knew it. Is Dolph going to sell them? Apparently. Through his gallery this time. He's onto a small fortune at your expense.

[00:39:13]>> I do expect to be paid.

[00:39:14]>> But you haven't been.

[00:39:16]Judith, it is quite important that we keep this to ourselves. I mean, if word gets out >> My lips are sealed.

[00:39:23]At a price. Oh.

[00:39:26]Look, this may sound a bit stupid, but when we bumped into each other at the Holborn party, well, I was so pleased to see you, that is, to see somebody, somebody I could talk to.

[00:39:39]Can't you normally talk to people? I mean, if you don't mind my saying, you're a very attractive young woman.

[00:39:46]Thank you.

[00:39:47]The truth is, I I just split up with someone, and I was feeling a little short of self-confidence.

[00:39:54]>> Ah, I see. Anyway, what I wanted to ask was, A genius. The next morning, I had to go over to Dolph's gallery to deliver the paintings I'd completed. I smuggled them in early through the back entrance, and once equipped with Harmon's signature, they were up on the wall for opening time.

[00:40:12]And this one, now this one for me is really the the quintessence of what I really quintessentially FEEL ABOUT THE WORLD. RIGHT, THE DRINKS FLOWING. LET'S GET tucked in. I want to destroy MY LIVER BEFORE I lose my heart. [laughter] Ring bell, wouldn't you say? Not a bad turnout. Bernalillo was right. It's money attracts crowds. Put a big enough price tag on something and anyone will pitch up.

[00:40:38]>> Don't undersell yourself, Mr. Banksy.

[00:40:40]They're excellent paintings.

[00:40:41]>> LOOK AT THIS ONE. I JUST COLLAPSED IN THE GUTTER AND when I woke up the whole scene was in front of me.

[00:40:47]>> And they have such an excellent salesman. The perfect team, as I said.

[00:40:51]>> And what exactly is your role? Every team needs a manager. And the manager plans tactics. The auction was to establish a high benchmark price.

[00:41:00]Everyone got carried away at the first new hammer in years. Now these prices have been elevated to follow suit.

[00:41:07]>> Oh, you're you're talking the market up.

[00:41:09]Very good, Mr. Banksy. I can tell you have a feeling for this sort of thing.

[00:41:13]After all, what is the value of a painting? The cost of the materials plus a nominal charge for time? No. The value of a painting is whatever collectively we decide. And it is in everyone's interest that it should be high.

[00:41:28]>> Even the buyer? Of course. These people are looking for an investment. And investments which accumulate RARELY COME CHEAP.

[00:41:35]>> ALL RIGHT. YOU HAVE ALL SWALLOWED MY ALCOHOL. NOW GET YOUR CHECKBOOKS OUT.

[00:41:41]OOH, THEY LOVE HIM.

[00:41:43]He stops them feeling elitist.

[00:41:46]It is the perfect balance of refinement and vulgarity. We will all make a great deal of money.

[00:41:52]>> Talking of which, the cash from the auction hasn't come through yet, has it?

[00:41:55]Patience, Mr. Banksy. Patience. These things take time. But if you would like an advance, you have no objection to used notes.

[00:42:05]>> Oh, on the contrary.

[00:42:07]100.

[00:42:08]I trust that will be enough.

[00:42:10]>> Oh, thanks. Yes.

[00:42:11]>> Now tell me, Mr. Banksy, how soon can you provide me with another room full of such canvases? Well, I don't know.

[00:42:16]Should we say a fortnight from now? Yes, why not? I think we should agree on that. You keep painting and I'll send Terry along for the signatures.

[00:42:26]>> [laughter] >> This place is awfully expensive. I was thinking of a cheap Chinese or something.

[00:42:36]>> It's my treat. I can afford it.

[00:42:38]>> It's only an advance. You know, I think you're being used. I'm sure Dolph must have the money by now. And another dozen paintings in a fortnight. I can paint pretty quickly when I want to. You know how I earn my living in Spain? Lightning portraits of tourists.

[00:42:52]>> You have led a varied life.

[00:42:54]>> Yes, some of it too varied.

[00:42:56]Judith, before we're inundated again with posh waiters, do you mind if I ask you something?

[00:43:03]Difficult to know until you ask it.

[00:43:05]Well, you weren't in on all this, were you?

[00:43:08]How'd you mean?

[00:43:10]Terry's reputation or even his wallet couldn't have survived that long if he'd gone on without painting.

[00:43:15]Luckily, he bumps into me at a party and gets a glimmer of an idea. Or Dolph does.

[00:43:22]Did you know about their plan? Why'd you ask?

[00:43:26]Because I don't know that I would have gone in with them if you hadn't showed up.

[00:43:32]I see.

[00:43:35]No, I didn't know anything.

[00:43:37]I'm quite close to Terry, but I don't have anything to do with his work.

[00:43:41]You don't really approve of this scam, do you?

[00:43:44]I suppose I want Terry to be something else than he is.

[00:43:47]I want him to live off his talent, be hard working, relatively sober, and well, anyway, let's not go into the impossible.

[00:43:55]I'd rather hear about you. Me? Yes. Tell me something, anything. Are you married?

[00:44:01]Well, sort of. What's that supposed to mean?

[00:44:04]We're kind of separated, more by accident than design.

[00:44:09]I have tried to find her.

[00:44:11]But I've had it x-rayed, and do you know what's underneath? A pair of hunting dogs. Amazing, I know.

[00:44:21]Well, I would say 17th century, could well be Stubbs.

[00:44:25]Oh, wasn't he? Well, perhaps his grandfather. At any rate, definitely worth more than the pre-Raphaelite nonsense you brought in. So, I'll go ahead with the cleaning, shall I?

[00:44:37]Hello. Hello, I'm afraid I can't hear you very well. Hello. Was that a yes?

[00:44:43]The line's going. I'll go ahead with the restoration, anyway.

[00:44:49]>> [sighs and gasps] >> Excellent. Should be able to present them with a fait accompli by the time they get here.

[00:44:58]And now then, madam. Madam?

[00:45:02]That's very formal, Constantine.

[00:45:05]Tessa. Good God.

[00:45:07]>> Long time no see.

[00:45:08]>> But what's going to spring out of the woodwork next? Looking at these frames, it's hard to guess. Do people really trust you with their family heirlooms? I have been in the art business for 30 years.

[00:45:20]>> Which explains why no form of trickery is unknown to you. Mhm. Uh do I take it that Adam's been in? Yes, looking for you. You're divorcing him?

[00:45:29]>> Mhm. How was he? Same as ever, no better off. Older, of course.

[00:45:33]>> Like all of us.

[00:45:35]Constantine.

[00:45:36]Do you remember how we collaborated before?

[00:45:38]>> Mhm. The most successful criminal partnership since Bonnie and Clyde.

[00:45:42]Don't tell me you've got another idea. I don't want to hear it.

[00:45:46]>> But this one's foolproof, Constantine.

[00:45:47]>> Mhm. There's fools and there's fools.

[00:45:50]Just tell me, where have you been all these years?

[00:45:52]>> Oh, here and there. Just listen to the idea. Listen, that's all.

[00:45:58]You know the Dorff Gallery is holding a Terry Harmon exhibition?

[00:46:01]>> Mhm. I'd read about it. Well, I have an inkling, in fact, slightly more than an inkling, that those paintings aren't by Harmon at all.

[00:46:10]Not by Harmon?

[00:46:12]Then who on earth Yes, yes.

[00:46:15]Very nice canvases, very industrious Fuxy.

[00:46:19]All that's lacking is the famous Harmon handle in the bottom right.

[00:46:23]Where Where do I keep the brushes in this studio?

[00:46:28]Perhaps a small drink to refresh the memory.

[00:46:32]Oh.

[00:46:37]Oh, yes, I know who this is.

[00:46:39]Hello magazine, at long last. Hello.

[00:46:43]Hello.

[00:46:45]Oh, yes, speaking.

[00:46:47]Oh, what do you want?

[00:46:53]Perhaps we could go over this again, sir.

[00:46:55]The Japanese, you say? That's right. The sale of Hopeful Derelicts was to the Nagasaki Bank of Tokyo, who are now £820,000 to the light, and rather afraid they haven't bought the genuine article.

[00:47:07]>> A fake? [laughter] Spotted it as soon as it arrived, apparently. No flies on those nips.

[00:47:13]Is this the fastest we can go, Sarge?

[00:47:15]>> Afraid so, sir. Traffic lights are out at Tower Bridge. So, we go and visit Harmon. And with a little gentle persuasion, convince him to return the cash. You think he will, sir? Sergeant, in all those years on the force, not for nothing was I known to art lovers and villains alike as Reingham Courdemayne.

[00:47:30]I think he'll listen to reason.

[00:47:33]Oh, yeah.

[00:47:36]>> [snorts] >> Oh, lord.

[00:47:40]Hey.

[00:47:41]Oh, yeah.

[00:47:43]Hold on, you push the door when it beeps.

[00:47:48]Are you in?

[00:47:50]No answer came the stern reply.

[00:47:53]No.

[00:47:57]Mama. ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba right out. Don't come in.

[00:48:05]Hello there.

[00:48:07]>> [snorts] >> So, what was it you wanted, eh?

[00:48:13]In the end, the waiters almost had to throw us out.

[00:48:16]We decided to walk back across the park to the studio.

[00:48:20]Meanwhile, apparently, the paintings are forged. Are you certain? Absolutely. I've had a look at the shelf.

[00:48:28]>> But my Becks, how can you be sure? I was married to him for long enough, wasn't I? If anyone can recognize his touch, I can. I suppose so.

[00:48:36]Vitch vary. The studio's just over there on the left. I checked. You can pull up anywhere here. But what are we supposed to do? Just walk in and say to whoever's there, "We think you're involved in a large-scale art fraud. Would you mind handing over some of the proceeds?"

[00:48:50]>> That sort of thing, except not in the plural. I'm sorry? You're the one who's going to do it, Constantine. That's why I've cut you in on this. Me?

[00:48:57]>> If by some chance I come face to face with Adam, there's going to be an almighty row and huge recriminations, which aren't going to get anybody anywhere.

[00:49:03]>> Apart from Vitch, there's always a certain element of danger in demanding money with menaces.

[00:49:08]>> There are no menaces involved. They'll see reason. Now, off you go. It's the mauve door on the other side of the street.

[00:49:14]>> like it.

[00:49:15]>> Well, considering it's an artist's studio, I've seen more tasteful colors as well. Uh leave the keys in the ignition. We wouldn't want to be done for a parking ticket.

[00:49:22]>> I don't know. Why do you get yourself into these things, Constantine? No danger, she says.

[00:49:27]>> Constantine, get a move on.

[00:49:29]>> Very well.

[00:49:33]Good.

[00:49:35]Constantine, you're such a dupe. Do I really look like someone who'd share the profits?

[00:49:41]Now, where does he keep the wheel wrench?

[00:49:44]It was a beautiful autumn afternoon, London at its best. Kensington Gardens, green and gold.

[00:49:54]Now, what about you?

[00:49:57]I don't have nearly so much to tell.

[00:49:59]Left school 4 years ago, still don't have a job. How do you survive?

[00:50:04]Does Terry >> Yes, he makes sure I don't starve.

[00:50:07]>> So, then he's not as absolutely self-centered as he seems.

[00:50:10]>> know that I'd go that far.

[00:50:11]>> No, what do you mean?

[00:50:12]>> Green man, let's cross.

[00:50:15]You remember I said that when we met at that party, I was trying to get over someone. Yes.

[00:50:21]Well, it was him.

[00:50:23]Terry.

[00:50:24]What?

[00:50:26]Adam, don't stop there. You're in the middle of the road.

[00:50:29]>> You and Terry HE'S YOUR UNCLE. HOW COULD HE? HOW COULD YOU?

[00:50:34]>> ADAM, LOOK OUT! GOD, STOP!

[00:50:37]OH!

[00:50:38]OH, THAT WAS CLOSE. COME on if you don't want to get yourself killed.

[00:50:41]>> Look, do you know, I thought that looked a bit >> Adam, come on.

[00:50:46]Anyway, the thing about Terry is he does have a certain amount of hidden charm.

[00:50:50]Really? Beneath that extrovert facade is an introvert desperately trying to stay in.

[00:50:54]>> Not exactly, but you know he's got talent. Just most of the time he's too wrecked to use it.

[00:51:00]>> No. I suppose I wanted to >> redeem him.

[00:51:03]>> Yes. And what's wrong with that?

[00:51:05]>> Oh, nothing I suppose.

[00:51:06]>> Then why are you being so grudging?

[00:51:07]>> Well, it didn't exactly work, did it?

[00:51:09]>> Adam, don't be horrible.

[00:51:11]>> I I've got I've got a key here somewhere.

[00:51:14]Oh.

[00:51:15]That's strange, it's open.

[00:51:20]Terry must be here.

[00:51:22]Perhaps you've got a delayed reaction.

[00:51:23]Look, I understand how you could be jealous.

[00:51:26]>> Jealous, me?

[00:51:27]>> Terry gets all the attention and you get none. And yet you are a talented, hard-working, and almost sober.

[00:51:33]>> Lack of the drawl, let's not mention it again. And you're right, it didn't work.

[00:51:38]Deep down he's just like he is on the surface, an absolute [ __ ] Oh.

[00:51:44]>> [sighs] >> Look, I'm sorry to be spiky.

[00:51:49]You've had a hard time, haven't you?

[00:51:50]>> It's okay.

[00:51:52]It's over now.

[00:51:55]Adam? Yes?

[00:51:57]I've got the strangest feeling.

[00:52:00]Really?

[00:52:02]Something's wrong here.

[00:52:04]Oh.

[00:52:05]What makes you think that? Well, there's no sound coming down the staircase.

[00:52:09]If Terry is painting Whatever Terry does, he does it noisily. Yes, I can imagine.

[00:52:16]Come on, let's check.

[00:52:24]We shouldn't park here, sir. It's a yellow line.

[00:52:27]>> Oh, come on, sergeant. If your information on the queues in the Blackwall Tunnel had been half as observant, we would have got here a lot quicker.

[00:52:33]>> I can only pass on what I'm given, sir.

[00:52:35]The police helicopters have a lot of difficulty seeing down the entrance. Is this the address? Yeah, seems to be.

[00:52:42]Ooh, look at that.

[00:52:44]No wonder crime's on the increase.

[00:52:48]If Armond's in, it should be a quick job.

[00:52:51]How many yen do you think we could invoice for an afternoon's work?

[00:52:55]Sir, do you think we're alone here?

[00:53:00]Why? What do you want to say to me?

[00:53:02]No, sir.

[00:53:04]Listen.

[00:53:08]I'm sure it's perfectly okay. Adam, the door to the studio, it's a jar.

[00:53:13]>> Well, why wouldn't it be if he's there?

[00:53:14]And on the floor in the doorway.

[00:53:16]>> Paint. He must have started daubing.

[00:53:18]There you are. But there's so much. It It is rather messy.

[00:53:22]>> And the way it's drying, from bright red to dark.

[00:53:26]Oh, no.

[00:53:27]No, no, it can't be. Adam.

[00:53:29]>> Terry. ADAM. TERRY.

[00:53:38]>> [screaming] >> EXCUSE ME, ADAM. [laughter] I'M AN EX-POLICE OFFICER. What's all this then? A corpse, sir. Yes, indeed.

[00:53:45]And who are you? I I I GOOD LORD! SO, WE meet again at last. And you literally red-handed.

[00:53:55]Adam Bax.

[00:53:57]Remember me?

[00:54:01]>> [music] >> How could you do it? I didn't DO IT. OW!

[00:54:08]OW! HOW COULD YOU WALK BACK INTO MY life at precisely the moment things were starting to pick up? A Japanese branch in the offing.

[00:54:15]>> Quarter, I mean, there is a dead artist at the center of all this.

[00:54:18]>> Which should increase his sales at any rate.

[00:54:20]>> Don't you even care who murdered him?

[00:54:21]Well, this is a job for the police. My first responsibility is to my clients.

[00:54:25]£820,000 worth of unrecoverable yen.

[00:54:28]>> Well, I haven't seen any of it. Oh, what am I going to tell them? It wasn't my fault. I mean, everything's your fault in Japan. That's why they invented hara-kiri. It hasn't occurred to you that it might have been your clients who did away with Harman. Oh, don't be ridiculous. They're bankers, not sudden samurai. Not that that makes them any less ruthless, of course. But then why would they ever employed me?

[00:54:48]>> I was wondering the same myself. Is this your global headquarters? Less of the cracks, Bax. At least my position is on the correct side of the law. If you're so concerned about cleaning the murder up, why haven't you gone to the police?

[00:54:58]I would have thought that was obvious.

[00:55:00]The palette knife in Harman's back is bound to have my prints all over the handle, given that I've been using it for the past 3 weeks. That, plus a previously unresolved criminal investigation.

[00:55:09]>> I resolved it. You ran away before I could catch you. That was all. The point is, if I walk into a police station, they won't know whether to handcuff me or have me sign the confession first.

[00:55:20]Unless, of course, you would be >> Oh, no, Bax. I didn't see you not murder him. You can't pull that one. Then what are we doing here?

[00:55:29]ONE MOMENT.

[00:55:31]OH, I'LL JUST stay out here, shall I, sir?

[00:55:34]Did you take the young lady home?

[00:55:35]>> I did, sir. She seemed remarkably composed under the circumstances.

[00:55:38]>> god, Judith.

[00:55:39]>> Then I went back to the studio and made sure it was as we found it. The cleaning lady will no doubt discover the body.

[00:55:45]>> I always feel sorry for them. Not just the shock, but then having to scrub the floor. Well, that should give us at least 12 hours start on the official investigation.

[00:55:53]>> Excellent. Look, I don't know what you two are planning, but I really ought to go and see Judith. You are doing nothing of the sort.

[00:56:00]Unless you want to be delivered into the hands of the constabulary as the prime suspect. You're going to stay under cover. I'm going to what? Quartermaine Fine Art Investigations is going to crack this case. It'll be our passport to fame.

[00:56:12]>> But how can I help?

[00:56:13]>> By not being locked into Parker's before we found the real murderer.

[00:56:18]Because if you didn't kill Harmon, someone else did.

[00:56:24]Me? Do I look like a murderer? I don't think they're readily identifiable, otherwise arrest rates would be higher.

[00:56:30]>> You were the one with a wheel wrench in your hand when I got back to the car.

[00:56:34]>> One of the tires felt a bit flat, that was all. Don't give me that. I should never have trusted you. Get me to do the dirty work. A swift tap on the head and goodnight, Constantine. Thanks for the cash.

[00:56:45]>> you say that?

[00:56:45]>> Because the last time we met, you were going to do the same thing to your own husband.

[00:56:50]Drink. Drink. Why is there nothing to drink here? What a shock of finding the body. Well, I hadn't expected that.

[00:56:58]Turpentine.

[00:57:00]I wonder.

[00:57:01]>> There were no clues as to who might have done it? Why? Have you spotted another opportunity for blackmail? You are the cool vamp, Tessa. Well, do me a favor.

[00:57:09]Just leave me out of any further plans.

[00:57:12]As you like.

[00:57:13]>> If you want accomplices, you're still a good-looking woman. I'm sure there are men you can bend around your little finger, but not me. Cheers.

[00:57:29]For myself, what choice did I have?

[00:57:31]Quartermaine insisted I lay low, but the chances of laying at any level in his office space being zero, I had to find somewhere to stay. Somewhere out of the public eye.

[00:57:42]The choice was obvious.

[00:57:45]Adam, what are you doing here? I was just about to lock the gallery up.

[00:57:49]>> Could I come in? Do you mind? Yes, of course.

[00:57:56]I'm really sorry to bother you, but I I need somewhere to sleep, and I just don't know where else >> Adam, that's fine. It feels such an imposition. I only seem to come to you when I'm in trouble. Are you? What sort of trouble? Oh, well, well, well, nothing serious.

[00:58:11]>> Your little forgery racket hasn't been blown up, has it? Well, that's one side of things.

[00:58:15]>> And Orf hasn't paid you, that's for sure. No, as it happens, he hasn't. I should have predicted that. Here, will this do for you? The bench in front of the tunnel, your usual place. Oh, I don't know how to thank you.

[00:58:28]I hope it'll just be one As long as you want. It's good to have somebody who appreciates art in the gallery.

[00:58:33]>> If there's ever anything I can do in return >> I've told you before, you've already done it. And done it more than once over.

[00:58:42]I wondered for a moment what he meant by that.

[00:58:45]But then it got lost beneath everything else that was turning over in my mind.

[00:58:50]The forgeries, the murder.

[00:58:52]Were they linked or not?

[00:58:54]And why did I always end up in the center of things?

[00:58:57]All because I'd come back to this country. All because I received the divorce [music] petition from Tessa.

[00:59:04]Eventually I dropped off.

[00:59:06]And I dreamt.

[00:59:08]Adam, I want some money.

[00:59:12]I'll go to the bank in the More than we've [music] got.

[00:59:15]>> Money, it clings around us like a shroud. That's all we talk about.

[00:59:19]I'm sick of it.

[00:59:21]>> need it.

[00:59:23]Why had I been so attached to her? She always wanted her own way at any cost.

[00:59:28]>> Adam.

[00:59:30]Adam. In the morning I could hardly wake. Adam. And when I did Tessa! Good morning. I thought I was I I I what what what are you doing here?

[00:59:43]Watching you wake up.

[00:59:44]>> Very poignant. Lying under the painting of your hero, though in slightly better shape. Very slightly.

[00:59:50]>> But how? But who >> Let me in. The gallery is open to the public, you know, even if none of them come.

[00:59:55]>> Yes, but I I but my head isn't working.

[00:59:58]This is all rather a shock.

[01:00:00]>> How did I know to find you here? Is that what you're saying? Yes. Good question.

[01:00:06]Adam, uh perhaps we should adjourn to my office for coffee. I'm afraid I owe you a little explanation.

[01:00:17]You've been living together? In the flat upstairs. I wasn't quite sure how to break it to you. It was what I was hinting at last night. You're leaving Tessa.

[01:00:27]>> This is all getting a bit too much. So you want a divorce to marry >> apart 10 years, Adam. It's not unreasonable I should find someone else in that time.

[01:00:35]>> But but but when you picked me up at Victoria Station, are you telling me that was coincidence?

[01:00:39]>> Not entirely. Uh the truth is that however attracted I am to Tessa, and I'm attracted a very great deal, I felt bad that she was your wife. She was fairly sure you'd come back to England and I wanted to make certain that you'd be looked after in some way. Oh, oh, thank you.

[01:00:56]>> Adam. Calm down.

[01:00:59]You've no right to be angry. Nicholas has done everything he could for you. He set you up for that job with Harmon.

[01:01:04]>> Yes, well that's come to an abrupt end.

[01:01:06]There's something I should have told you last night. Harmon's dead. What?

[01:01:09]>> Dead. He's been murdered. I >> [clears throat] >> Is that Tessa, did you hear that?

[01:01:15]>> Uh yes. Well, where? When? How?

[01:01:19]>> In his studio sometime yesterday afternoon. A pallet knife applied between the shoulder blades.

[01:01:24]>> But who?

[01:01:24]>> That's what I'm very keen to find out because just at the moment it looks unfortunately like me.

[01:01:28]>> No, no one could suspect that. Why would you?

[01:01:31]>> Any number of reasons which would stand up quite well in court. So, unless I can find someone with a better motive >> Oh, I can't take this in.

[01:01:38]>> No, it's certainly something of a surprise. But wait a minute.

[01:01:43]If you're searching for someone with a reason to kill Harmon, you don't have to look any further than who?

[01:01:54]Dolph?

[01:01:56]Well, of course I'd come to the same conclusion myself.

[01:02:00]Why? Because from his point of view Look, I'm sorry. It's rather difficult to breathe in here, never mind think.

[01:02:07]>> Oh, would you mind all going into the outer suite?

[01:02:15]Because from his point of view, Harmon was a wasted asset. He turned them into a fairly efficient publicity machine and he'd got Adam to paint the pictures, but how long would that have lasted? I imagine he would have lit out as soon as he received his first reasonable payment. Wouldn't you, Adam? Uh yeah, yes, that's true enough.

[01:02:33]>> At which point, Harmon becomes expendable. More than expendable, in fact. A dead artist always has a certain cachet.

[01:02:41]>> Ah, now I did point that out, didn't I?

[01:02:43]>> And if Dolph had stored up a few of his paintings >> I supplied him with 10 and he'd asked me for the same again. There you are, then.

[01:02:49]But the Japanese had already spotted derelicts was a fake. He didn't know that and anyway, he wasn't selling to the Japanese, was he? He'd put the whole batch through his gallery here.

[01:02:58]>> Where would it go around?

[01:02:59]>> No, no. If the Japanese had been hired, they'd try and keep it to themselves.

[01:03:03]That's probably why they didn't use a bigger investigation agency. What are you getting at?

[01:03:08]>> Nothing. I mean, this is perfectly spacious.

[01:03:12]Oh, wait a minute.

[01:03:14]You're not English, are you?

[01:03:16]Well, anyway, I suppose it does all hang together.

[01:03:19]And they were much the lines I was thinking along myself.

[01:03:22]>> inform the police of all this, Inspector? Certainly not, Sergeant.

[01:03:27]Stop. Excuse me. Thank you. Thank you.

[01:03:29]Uh sir. [laughter] No word to on the radio of Harman's discovery, is there?

[01:03:33]Uh not as yet, sir. No. Right. Then we're still in with a chance of swooping ourselves. And I think I have a plan.

[01:03:40]So, all those not involved in the operation can clear off completely.

[01:03:46]Where do you think you're going, Backs?

[01:03:48]>> [music] >> Now, this is a two-way radio. It's a standard item of police equipment, and simple to use. You just switch it on and off here, you see?

[01:04:02]Or rather here.

[01:04:04]But why me? Uh two reasons. One, Dorf is expecting you to show up at his gallery anyway. And two, this radio is not easily concealable, but under your particular version of basque attire, nothing would look amiss.

[01:04:17]>> I beg your pardon?

[01:04:19]>> I shall be following you in the sergeant's car. But The police control center will pick up your whole conversation, but we shall be there first, you see, to make a citizen's arrest.

[01:04:28]>> But if Dorf killed Harman, how do I know he won't turn on me?

[01:04:31]>> Oh, you'll be in a public place.

[01:04:33]Oh, I shall position the radio centrally, just in case of a sudden lunge, you know. Exactly what am I supposed to say that'll make him confess? Have you thought of that? No, you're the one with a criminal mentality, Backs. You decide.

[01:04:45]Once again, what option did I have? If it was going to get Dorf sent down instead of me. But somewhere at the back of my mind was a slight feeling of unease.

[01:04:56]One problem was that I had no idea how Judith was. We'll drop you off around the corner from Dorf's. It'll look a bit obvious being parked outside.

[01:05:04]We'd quit the scene of Harman's killing so quickly I'd had no time to console her.

[01:05:07]I'd never even found out where she lived. Right. You know how to operate the equipment. Off you go. Good luck, sir.

[01:05:15]So, although I approached the entrance to Dorf's gallery with considerable trepidation, it was with some relief that I found Judith!

[01:05:23]What on earth are you doing here?

[01:05:24]>> Adam! Are you going to see Dorf? Yes.

[01:05:27]>> But you mustn't. He might be dangerous.

[01:05:29]>> I'm sure he is. That's exactly why I want to confront him. You think he killed Harman as well? I know he did.

[01:05:35]Look, I found this on the floor of the studio when we were all clearing out.

[01:05:39]>> What is it? A name tag from the Holborn Centenary party. Herman Dorf. He must have had it in his jacket pocket and then dropped it.

[01:05:48]>> Then that clinches it. We can just call the police now. Hello?

[01:05:52]Hello? Can you hear me?

[01:05:54]Oh, how do you work THIS THING?

[01:05:55]>> ADAM, I DON'T want the police in on this. I want to accuse him face-to-face.

[01:05:59]>> NO, WAIT, JUDITH. WAIT, WAIT.

[01:06:01]HELLO? HELLO? OH!

[01:06:06]But even now I'd found Judith, there was still something not quite right.

[01:06:11]I couldn't put my finger on it, but the feeling was accentuated by the sight of Dorf sitting alone among my canvases, the lunchtime edition of the paper in his hand.

[01:06:22]Terry.

[01:06:24]Terry. Dorf, I want to speak to you.

[01:06:26]>> seen this, Terry?

[01:06:29]Dead.

[01:06:30]I've been round to the studio. The place is already cordoned off. Don't tell me that came as a surprise.

[01:06:35]>> a strong self-destructive urge, but murder, they say. And I know exactly who did it.

[01:06:41]>> Judith, wait a moment. Dorf, are you saying you didn't kill Harman? Kill Terry?

[01:06:48]The goose that marketed the golden eggs?

[01:06:50]Why would I want to do that? I had some plans. Japan, that's where the future lies. That's where the money is. I I was going to export him. Really? I don't think that would have worked. You see, they'd already bought Hopeful Terry. Not just the pictures, Terry himself. Look stuck in barrel.

[01:07:07]They missed Galli Leonora. They would have loved him.

[01:07:10]>> Yes, but they'd rumble the fact that the painting was a fake. Had they?

[01:07:14]Ah, the advance publicity we would have got from that. You think they would have welcomed him with open arms? Why not?

[01:07:19]You forged the painting, not him. Terry Harmon would have been the wronged hero.

[01:07:23]A little adulation, moderate amounts of sake, he might even have started painting again. Otherwise, some Japanese substitute or other. Adam, he's trying to divert attention.

[01:07:34]>> think so. Oh, I don't doubt he was cold-blooded enough to have killed Harmon if it was really in his interest.

[01:07:40]How can you say that? I, Harmondorf, the artist's friend. If I had managed to drive prices back up, you all would have benefited. It was almost philanthropy.

[01:07:50]Now, you will become paupers again.

[01:07:52]Canvas, paints, and £10 an hour.

[01:07:54]>> You really think so?

[01:07:55]>> What's to stop it? I was building confidence back into the market, and now with his Terry's death, what will happen? Art could go into free fall.

[01:08:03]>> Adam, he's making this up.

[01:08:05]>> not. Not at all. If it can happen to the rest of the country, why can't it happen to the art market?

[01:08:10]>> investments will be wiped out. Everyone will suffer.

[01:08:13]>> Everyone? Are you sure?

[01:08:15]>> Everyone who has ever purchased a painting.

[01:08:18]>> Yes. No, not quite. Everyone who has purchased a painting for resale, yes.

[01:08:23]But not the genuine art lovers. And particularly not those art lovers who weren't buying for themselves. Adam, what are you getting at? I think we may have made a crucial mistake. Dorf isn't the man we're after at all. Come on, LET'S GO. QUICKLY.

[01:08:41]BUT WHAT ABOUT THE NAME TAG, THE one I found?

[01:08:43]>> If Dorf had murdered Harmon, do you think he would have been silly enough to drop that?

[01:08:47]Oh, Quartermaine, where are you? But how well Like most of the people at the party, he probably threw it away when he left. Anyone who was there could have picked it up. Hello.

[01:08:56]Quartermaine.

[01:08:58]Oh, which bloody switch was it? Adam, what are you doing?

[01:09:01]>> haven't got time to hang around. Taxi!

[01:09:07]Suddenly, the things that were niggling away in the back of my brain were coming into focus.

[01:09:12]The unfortunate thing was, my brain wasn't the only place they were doing that.

[01:09:19]Nicholas. Mhm.

[01:09:21]How do you really feel about Harmon's death? Shattered, of course. Why?

[01:09:25]You were at college together and you were completely opposite types. I can't believe you could have got on that well.

[01:09:30]>> Perhaps we weren't the best of friends, but >> I thought your horror was a little overdone when Adam told you. I thought yours was a little underdone. I had my reasons for that.

[01:09:40]But you >> Tessa, what are you getting at?

[01:09:44]Nicholas, I've enjoyed the time we've spent together, but I hope you won't be too upset if I say that I wasn't actually divorcing Adam in order to marry you.

[01:09:55]I just felt that after 10 years, I ought to be free. I see. When he came back and you set him up with Harmon, I did see a way of turning that to advantage, particularly after you'd mentioned their forgery scheme.

[01:10:10]But now, something else has occurred to me.

[01:10:13]That you might have set him up with Harmon for your own reasons.

[01:10:16]>> You're a very clever woman, Tessa.

[01:10:18]That's what's always attracted me to you.

[01:10:22]You wouldn't have thought twice about doing away with Harmon, would you?

[01:10:26]If it was for the right cause. And what if I wouldn't? Well, you wouldn't want that little secret to get out.

[01:10:34]I mean, if you were to make it worth my while, financially, you really think Vanalla could kill Terrance?

[01:10:43]>> I really think it's a possibility. I'm not certain, but I think it's worth checking out. That's all.

[01:10:49]But Judith, there was something else I want to say while we are on our own. I I've been lying to myself, rather. Since we met, I've been really rather attracted to you.

[01:10:59]That's why I was upset yesterday before we found Terry.

[01:11:02]Now it feels slightly awkward.

[01:11:04]>> Go on. Well, well, I just want to say, when all this is over, if I go away again, I'd like you to come with me. Oh, I realize I'm considerably older than you are and obviously in some senses we'd be an odd couple, perhaps even a platonic one, but but but I I What do you think? I think that's really sweet. What? No, it's lovely, that is.

[01:11:27]Uh who are you, by the way? IT'S WORKING, THANK GOD!

[01:11:31]>> ADAM, CONTROL YOURSELF. YOU CAN'T get undressed in the back of a taxi. Put your jumper back on. Hello, hello. Are you receiving me? THIS IS ADAM BACKS. I NEED all the law you can spare. I am on my way to apprehend the possible killer of Sequoyah Gallery, where a possible misdemeanor involving stolen police equipment is about to take place. Oh my god. I repeat, a notice to all What on a possible misdemeanor involving stolen police >> Uh sergeant, take your head out of your hands and drive. Here we are, guv. That'll be £6.30. [music] Judith, hold this radio.

[01:12:04]Keep talking into it. Tell them to get here as soon as possible. Uh wait a minute, YOU HAVEN'T PAID ME.

[01:12:09]>> I'LL BE BACK. ADAM, TAKE CARE. JUST A BIT. COME BACK HERE. COME BACK.

[01:12:15]STEP ON IT, SERGEANT. We want to be there first.

[01:12:18]Do we, sir?

[01:12:19]I mean, what if Banalech is a dangerous killer? What, isn't this car equipped with firearms? A bootful of automatic weapons [music] for riot control? Um not exactly automatic weapons, sir. No.

[01:12:33]Fra Angelico, Poussin.

[01:12:37]BANALECH!

[01:12:39]BANALECH, I KNOW YOU'RE HERE.

[01:12:42]ALL these old masters and no one to look at them.

[01:12:46]Banalech! I understand.

[01:12:49]I understand why you did it.

[01:12:52]Deflate prices in the whole of the art market there for the picking.

[01:12:55]Fresh canvases on the walls, eager faces milling round.

[01:12:59]Will it really happen?

[01:13:02]Benalec! Hello, Adam.

[01:13:05]Benalec, where are you? Short on atmosphere in here, isn't it? Let's try a little chiaroscuro.

[01:13:13]The lights! Oh, wait. Your eyes will get used to it. Of course, I know my way around here blindfolded. But then, I've used the only blindfold I've got, HAVEN'T I?

[01:13:26]TESSA!

[01:13:27]TESSA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

[01:13:28]>> SHE'S fine for a blackmailer, but perhaps you better come to the rescue soon.

[01:13:34]>> Benalec!

[01:13:35]>> [panting] >> Benalec, Benalec, don't do anything stupid.

[01:13:38]>> I never do.

[01:13:40]I foresaw everything that would happen when you met Harmon. So, when I killed him, there'd be no shortage of other suspects. Either you or Dorff were perfect. A falling out amongst thieves.

[01:13:51]BUT YOU CAN'T GET AWAY NOW. YOU think not?

[01:13:54]I wouldn't be too sure.

[01:13:56]What if you had killed Harmon, and Tessa, as your intuitive wife, had found you out? Wouldn't you want to do away with her?

[01:14:07]Have you figured out where I am yet, Adam?

[01:14:11]Yes.

[01:14:13]The Turner.

[01:14:17]>> [screaming] >> Repeat, suspect in custody. Excuse the POLICE EQUIPMENT.

[01:14:21]OH, WHAT'S GOING ON THERE? Can I join in the fun? Inspector, thank goodness you're here. Oh, yes. The public are always grateful when they need you, aren't they? Suddenly, you change from the filth and the fetish pigs to the good old trusty copper, even if you are retired. And don't worry, miss. We can handle this. Now then, sergeant, what have you got in that boot?

[01:14:41]I'm afraid, sir.

[01:14:43]Oh my god. Benalec! Let Tessa go, at least.

[01:14:47]>> But I can't do that. It would spoil my plan because once you've killed her, you have to kill yourself out of despair.

[01:14:54]And I've got the ideal method, that's absolutely suitable, quite poetic, too.

[01:15:00]Can you see now? Are you used to the light? The deathbed portrait.

[01:15:06]On the floor.

[01:15:07]Remember this wire, eh? 50p a yard it was, about all the gallery could afford.

[01:15:12]Not anymore. You go first and then her.

[01:15:15]Of course the police will see it the other way around because you'll be hanging from that hook, Adam. Same hook as your hero, Turner. I'm sorry, I really am, but it has to be this way.

[01:15:24]And you could look on it AS A SORT OF HONOR. RIGHT.

[01:15:27]HOLD IT THERE, BENEDICT.

[01:15:29]NOW GIVE YOURSELF UP. We're armed. Ah, you bloody Sassenachs. This may look like an ordinary fork and spade set, but in fact, that that's just what they are. And we're prepared to use them. I should warn you that my sergeant in particular is deadly with a gardening implement.

[01:15:44]>> Yes, it happens, that's true, sir. I have an advanced horticultural society award.

[01:15:48]>> Not now, sergeant.

[01:15:50]Benedict, the game IS UP.

[01:15:52]DROP THAT ARTIST.

[01:16:17]>> [music] >> SOME THINGS DON'T CHANGE.

[01:16:23]But tell me, going about these sales, that's why we're here, isn't it? Here, wait a minute, this is empty. I'm I think I can afford another bottle of fizz. Waiter, same again. Very good, sir.

[01:16:32]Dorf's representing you, is that it?

[01:16:34]Yes. Well, after all, with Harmon dead, I could hardly carry on turning out new canvases with his name on them.

[01:16:40]And Dorf definitely needed a new major [music] client.

[01:16:43]So, I forged my name back on all the paintings I'd actually produced in the first place.

[01:16:47]>> [laughter] >> And they're going like hot cakes. Well, not exactly, but three in the past week.

[01:16:52]Adam, congratulations.

[01:16:54]>> Dorf's quite keen to take me to the land of the rising yen, but I put my foot down there. The British tradition that Cheers.

[01:17:11]>> [music] >> The Tokyo Correction was written by Guy Meredith. Adam Bax was played by Norman Rodway, and Inspector Quartermaine by James [music] Grout.

[01:17:20]Tessa was played by Carol Boyd, Van Aalek by David Ashton, the Sergeant by John Webb, Terry Harmon by Steve Hodson, Constantine by Neville Jason, Herman Dorf by Jonathan Adams, and Judith by Sandra James Young.

[01:17:35]Other parts were played by John Baddeley and Melinda Walker.

[01:17:39]The Tokyo Correction was directed by Cherry [music] Cookson.

[01:17:44]Now then, where's it to be? Your place or mine?

[01:17:48]I'm not strong enough to resist. That's my problem. I know, and it's what I love about you.

[01:17:56]By the way, have you heard from Quartermaine? Oh, yes. He really fell on his [music] feet.

[01:18:03]I like to think I engineered this Perfectly, Sergeant.

[01:18:07]>> Indeed, sir. England's finished. I saw the head.

[01:18:11]Immigration was the only option.

[01:18:14]The East is where the future lies.

[01:18:16]Welcomed with open arms, sir.

[01:18:18]Absolutely.

[01:18:19]Because we are specialists, Sergeant.

[01:18:21]That's our big strength.

[01:18:22]>> Yes, sir.

[01:18:23]Never thought you'd take to landscape gardening. You know, it's quite fun, really.

[01:18:27]>> Yes. Oops.

[01:18:29]Watch out for those bonsai trees, sir.

[01:18:32]Yeah.