But the gag is: Are you really *living*? #TEDTalks

Added: 2026-05-26

[00:00:00]Survival can be so effective, you don't realize when it's no longer serving you.

[00:00:05]Growing up in a place where access is limited, hamming it up became my past time, a dream pass down.

[00:00:13]Then suddenly performing was a gift that granted my family more access. So when I started auditioning and booking, it became clear I was the one who could do it. I could do something I enjoyed and lift some weight off my parents.

[00:00:30]So, we did it. We moved to LA for my career. Suddenly, we had access to a life that didn't require constant vigilance. Each opportunity gave way to a world we never knew was possible. We no longer shared rooms. We had a car that worked. My parents weren't stressed about bills or their ability to get the best education for me and my three siblings. Messing that up wouldn't have just cost me. It would have put our freedom at risk. and we already knew what it was like to live without it. So, I adapted. As the years flew by, I didn't just perform on stage.

[00:01:07]I started performing off it, too. I began designing a character to survive my life. That character is Kiki Palmer.

[00:01:18]approachable, capable, funny, a small container my full range could exist inside of without overwhelming anyone.

[00:01:28]So stopping never felt like a choice, just an ultimatum. I wasn't trying to be exceptional.

[00:01:36]I was trying to be reliable.

[00:01:39]I carried the load, not because I had to, but because I couldn't unknow what was at stake.

[00:01:46]Once you've seen life on the other side of poverty, you can't unsee the contrast.

[00:01:51]I couldn't live with the fact that we had a shot and I didn't take it. So, I didn't fail.

[00:01:57]I'm just a girl that wanted herself and her family out of poverty. And once we was out, I forgot to let myself free.

[00:02:07]Yet, I'm here today grateful to say my parents showed me how to survive.

[00:02:15]I showed them how to dream and my son is showing me how to live.

[00:02:23]Allow me to reintroduce myself.

[00:02:27]My name is Lauren Kiana Palmer and I'm the CEO of the Kiki Palmer Company, a company I created out of nothing with my mother, my father, and my three siblings.