STOP LEAVING YOURSELF TO KEEP THEM. (The Cost of Staying)

[00:00:00]Okay, I'm going to start this video with one question. When did you actually stop being you? Not when it started hurting.

[00:00:06]No, that came later. I mean that small moment where you felt something was off and you decided, I'm not going to say that. I will just let it go, you know, for peace. That moment, that is where it went quiet. Guys, welcome back. So, a lot of you have been in a relationship where you just couldn't be yourself, right? And I think we don't really talk about what that actually costs us because we don't call it what it is. We call it staying. We call it working out, being patient, being understanding. But really, we just left ourselves to keep somebody else. I believe how you do one thing, you do everything, right? So that moment never stays one moment. We get smaller. We ask for less. We feel less because feeling less is somehow safer, right? And then one day we wake up and we're like, what am I even doing here and who am I? And that's an emptiness.

[00:01:05]So that feeling you carry that I don't even know who I am feeling. Like where do you think that's actually from?

[00:01:12]Because I don't think it's from the relationship. It's just you're just not there anymore because you left yourself to stay. And it's not always about relationships, okay? Because here is where I want to zoom out for a second.

[00:01:26]We do this often with jobs too, right?

[00:01:28]We stay in something that is clearly done in our lives. Because for us, leaving feels like we are losing control. And we do this with friendships, with maybe an image of ourselves that doesn't even exist anymore. But what do we do? We keep performing it anyway. And I believe that this is always the same that there is always the same pattern underneath. And we are not protecting what we actually want, we are protecting what our ego is scared to lose. So let me ask you this.

[00:01:57]Whatever you're gripping on to right now in any part of your life, is that really your soul's desire or is it just your ego holding on because letting go feels like losing? I'm going to leave you with that for a second. Okay. So why though?

[00:02:15]Why did it feel so logical to give ourselves up like that? I think somewhere a long time ago, we learned that this is what love looks like. That love means making yourself small enough that the other person can stay. So think about it. Because if you leave yourself first before the other person even gets the chance to leave you, nobody can leave you anymore, right? Because you are already gone. And I did this for years and I didn't even see it until the pattern became so obvious and I was like why am I doing this? And I was like this is exactly why I'm doing this. I used to think well if I leave first at least nobody gets to reject me to leave me.

[00:02:59]Nobody is leaving me because I already left myself. And that was the whole trick. That was my protection. Leaving myself first so nothing can actually really touch you. That's it. I was really honest with myself and then I thought is that love or is that just protection? Is that just a protection mechanism? I've learned to trust instead of trusting my own heart, my own truth, which was to be vulnerable, you know, that there is no rejection that there is only protection. And then I realized like if your heart can close against yourself, is it still open to anyone else, to anything bigger than you?

[00:03:39]Because protecting yourself and trusting those are two different things. So when we protect instead of trust where else do we do that with life itself maybe right with whatever is actually meant for us. Maybe that person was never the problem. Maybe God, the universe, whatever feels true to you, was just showing you something. And it was not to punish you, not testing you, but it was just showing you gently, this isn't where you fully come alive. What if it was never a loss? What if it was just direction? And when you ask yourself the question, but why do I do this? Why do I keep returning? Why do I keep going back? Or, you know, why do I go quiet?

[00:04:24]And maybe you do this in your relationship, in friendship, or even with yourself. And I don't think I don't believe that you were broken, that something is wrong with you. I think going quiet once felt like the safest thing you could do back then because it kept you close to someone you needed. It made sense back then. So, you learned something early, but you never stopped questioning it. And I want to go even deeper right now because if your heart closes to keep one thing your ego is scared to lose, whether that's a person, a job, an old version of yourself, what else is it closing to? Opportunities, peace, people who would have actually seen you as you are, right? But also something deeper than that. And that is real guidance. That sense of being led somewhere, your inner voice, your inner truth, the heart whispering, right? And it's not the one you learn to survive with. No, because love and guidance and trust, I believe that they are not different doors. They are one door. And if you're experiencing blockages in your life right now, if you feel like you are so far away from that, ask yourself that question like if that door is closed, what's on the other side of that door right now? And that's a question you can sit with, right? And I'm not going to tell you, you know, to say leave that person, leave him, leave her. That's so easy because you know already all these things anyway, right? But here is actually what I want to ask you. Next time you feel yourself going quiet and you know that's that small moment and before it even hurts, can you notice it?

[00:06:16]Not fix it, not judge it. Just see it like oh here is it again because that's it. And that is all I am asking because you can only choose differently once you can actually see it happening. So maybe the question was never why did they do this to me? Maybe it is since when did I stop trusting that voice that is actually mine? That voice that doesn't disappear. It's still here underneath everything, but it's coming back to it.

[00:06:46]And I believe that if you're watching my content, you really resonate with that.

[00:06:50]And that is the moment, these are the moments you return to over and over again, right? Because once you open this door to yourself, that's the moment you open yourself to the universe, to God, to the higher guidance within. Back to love, back to peace, back to who you were before all of this. And that is how you remember who you are. That is a remembrance. Okay. So, I hope my video resonates. Let me know in the comments if it does. And if the depth of my content resonates with you, join Truth Notes. That's my weekly newsletter where I share insights on a different level and you will also receive an amazing morning audio where you start your day aligned because I believe that everything is frequency and how you start your day is how you will perceive your day and that's why I recorded this audio so you are invited. With that being said, thank you for watching.

[00:07:54]Thank you for being here and I will see you in the next one. Bye-bye.